Набор комментаторов: Stanley Parable

Набор комментаторов: Stanley Parable
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Этот набор заменяет стандартного комментатора и комментатора серий убийств на язвительного и остроумного рассказчика из игры The Stanley Parable. | ||

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Выпущен | ||

Доступность | ||

Набор комментаторов: Stanley Parable
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Комментатор: The Stanley ParableМега-убийства: The Stanley Parable |


## Предметы набора

## Приветствие

*Шанс 50%, только для All Pick, Least Played, Limited Heroes и Mid Only*

- ▶️
*н*Welcome to Dota! - ▶️ Oh good, you're back! It's been too long since I bathed in human misery.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Good to see you weren't discouraged by your performance last time, I know I was.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Hello, you are now playing DIGITAL SPORTS!
*дополнение* - ▶️ Welcome! Once again! To DIGITAL SPORTS!
*дополнение* - ▶️ Stanley began a game of Dota. It would be a long time before Stanley stopped playing Dota.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Welcome to Dota 2, hope you're ready to get meta.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Aha, I knew you would be back. It was never really a choice.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Oh I'm so glad you're back, there's been a failure-shaped hole in my heart ever since you left.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Oh you're NOT dead? I didn't know there were other reasons people stopped playing Dota.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Oh you're back! Everyone's been saying they missed you! B-...wait, they were here just a moment ago...where did everyone go?
*дополнение* - ▶️ Wait wait wait! Don't start without me! Okay, I'm here! We can start now!
*дополнение* - ▶️ Welcome to Dota 2, the prequel to Dota 3: Return to Dota.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Welcome! To the sequel to a video game!
*дополнение'* - ▶️ WELCOME TO DOTAAAA!
*дополнение* - ▶️ Behold, as always, the majesty of DIGITAL SPORTS!
*дополнение*

*Шанс 1%, только для тех же режимов, что и выше*

- ▶️ Welcome, to the dense and impenetrable web of systemic bullshit we collectively refer to as Dota.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Welcome to Counterstrike! BOOM HEADSHOT!
*дополнение*

*Шанс 3%, только для тех же режимов, что и выше, во время соответствующего времени суток*

- ▶️ Good morning!
*дополнение* - ▶️ Good evening!
*дополнение*

## Режим игры

**Ability Draft**

**All Pick**

**All Random**

**Captain's Draft**

**Captain's Mode**

**Deathmatch**

**Easy Mode**

**Least Played**

**Limited Heroes**

- ▶️
*п*Limited Heroes.

**Mid Only**

**Random Draft**

**Reverse Captain's Mode**

**Single Draft**

**Другие Режимы**

*One vs One и другие возможные будущие режимы игры*

- ▶️
*п*Choose wisely.

## Выбор героев

**Выбор**

- ▶️ Your turn to pick
- ▶️ Your pick.
- ▶️ Select a hero, please.
- ▶️
*н*Enemy's turn to pick. - ▶️ Their turn to choose, patience please.
- ▶️ Their pick.
- ▶️ Radiant team pick.
- ▶️ Radiant team are now picking.
- ▶️ Dire team pick.
- ▶️ Dire team are now picking.

*Шанс 10%*

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️ Go ahead and pick, I'll just be here not judging you.
- ▶️ Technically announcers aren't SUPPOSED to judge you for your selection of hero, but honestly I've never been much for rules.
- ▶️ Now remember, there are almost no wrong choices here.
- ▶️ The only wrong choice is all the ones that aren't the one I'm thinking of.
- ▶️ One moment, I'm going to help them strategize a bit.
*дополнение*

*Шанс 1%*

- ▶️ While they're picking, why don't I read you a passage from a story I've been working on:
*дополнение* - ▶️ While they're picking, here's a random number for you to think about:
*дополнение*

**Запрет**

- ▶️ Your turn to ban.
- ▶️ Your ban, make it count.
- ▶️ Enemy's turn to ban.
- ▶️ Their ban.
- ▶️ Dire's ban.
- ▶️ Radiant's ban.

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️ Ban them right where it hurts.
- ▶️ Ban the ever-loving snot out of them.
- ▶️ Now let's wait patiently while they try to screw you over.

**Осталось времени на выбор**

- ▶️
*н*Ten seconds remaining. - ▶️ Only ten seconds.
- ▶️ Ten seconds to pick.
- ▶️ Five seconds, hurry hurry!
- ▶️ Five seconds remain!
- ▶️ Reserve time.

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️
*п*You need MORE time? Yeesh... - ▶️
*п*You STILL haven't reached a conclusion? Clearly Dota is the right game for you. - ▶️
*п*Look I don't mean to rush you, but I DO wish you'd go a hell of a lot faster than you're going. - ▶️
*п*You need EXTRA time? You know what game you're playing, right? Dota?

**Выбор закончен**

- ▶️
*н*Your ancient is under attack! O - ▶️
*н*Your team is complete. - ▶️ Radiant's team is complete.
- ▶️
*н*Dire's team is complete. - ▶️ Choose your hero.

*Шанс 35%*

- ▶️ Alright, let's see what the damage is.
- ▶️ Well then, shall we pick some heroes?
- ▶️ Alright, let's begin the Dota!
- ▶️ It's time at last to select heroes.
- ▶️ How badly did they ruin your strategy?

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️ DO-TA! DO-TA! DO-TA!

## Начало битвы

**Вступление в битву**


- ▶️
*н*Prepare for battle. - ▶️ Prepare yourselves, we're nearly ready!
- ▶️ Oh goody, I'm so terribly excited!
- ▶️ Just a minute or so now until the game starts, patience.
- ▶️ Let's have a good clean match today.
- ▶️ Is everyone ready?
- ▶️ The stage is set, everyone prepared?
- ▶️ Another thrilling match awaits us.
- ▶️ Well let's get to it, shall we?
- ▶️ Another beautiful day in Dota-land.
*дополнение*

*Шанс 25%*

- ▶️ Good, we're nearly at the part where everything dies over and over.
- ▶️ Just so you know I'll be taking a shot every time you die, please try to keep me out of the hospital.
- ▶️ You have about a minute to enjoy not dying. Savor it.
- ▶️ The game's about to begin! Just try not to think of failure and all the ways you could lose and everything in yourself you feel weak and insecure about and you should be fine.
- ▶️ Okay! Time for me to learn the rules of Dota! I'll just be skimming this as you play.
- ▶️ GL, HF, L2P, VD, MP3, OBGYN, 3DPDB1D9G
- ▶️ Quickly! Purchase items! Consume material goods to sustain capitalism!
- ▶️ Now a quick reminder, the goal of this game is to win. You can...I mean do whatever you want with that information, just throwing it out there.
- ▶️ What do you think will happen this time? Murdering one another, probably. Unless....yeah, no I'm gonna go with constant murder.
- ▶️ Okay, time to forget the myriad external pressures and life stresses that have driven you to blot out the pain with video games, let's play some Dota!
- ▶️ Perhaps THIS battle will resolve the eternal conflict between good and evil.
- ▶️ DO-TA! DO-TA! DO-TA!

*Шанс 2%, только для Сил Света*

- ▶️ Okay see that big tree thing there? I guess that's significant, you want it to live or die or something. Look, I really don't know how this game works.

*Шанс 2%, только для Сил Тьмы*

- ▶️ Now if I'm reading this correctly, that big orange glowing thing is what you DON'T want to kill. Try doing that.

**Времени до битвы**

*30 секунд*

- ▶️ Thirty seconds to battle.
- ▶️ 30 seconds.
- ▶️ Thirty seconds to video games, thirty seconds!
- ▶️ 30 seconds until DIGITAL SPORTS!
- ▶️ One minute until thirty seconds after battle.

*Шанс 5%, только для игроков*

- ▶️ Just kind of a heads up here, everything you know and love will die one day.
- ▶️ Where do you think we go when we die?
- ▶️ Maybe THIS match will teach me how to love...
- ▶️ I'll never truly forget the pain.
- ▶️ Your ancient is being attacked! Sorry, *cough*, just warming up. I imagine I'll be using that line a lot.

*10 секунд*

*Шанс 15%*

- ▶️ Last chance to quit the game and do something productive with your life.
- ▶️ All I'm saying is, diplomatic negotiations aren't off the table yet.

**Битва начинается**

- ▶️
*н*The battle begins! - ▶️ Begin the murder-fest!
- ▶️ Begin the DIGITAL SPORTS!
- ▶️ And so it begins.
*дополнение* - ▶️ Now murder each other for my amusement!!
- ▶️ Let this meditative reflection on the fleeting and fragile nature of life begin!
- ▶️ DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!
- ▶️ It's time for fantasy-world avatars to pretend to murder one another!
- ▶️ God I really hope this match ends up being of any cosmic significance.
- ▶️ aaaaaaand RESOLVE YOUR DIFFERENCES!

*Шанс 1%*

- ▶️ MID! EVERYONE GO MID! EVERYONE!!

## Убийства

**Первая кровь**

- ▶️ First blood!
- ▶️
*н*More of it! More death! - ▶️ The killing begins!
- ▶️ We have first blood!
- ▶️ And the blood spills.

**Двойное убийство**

- ▶️ Double kill!
- ▶️ A vicious double slaying.
- ▶️ Two innocent lives taken!
- ▶️ Two down.
- ▶️ A double slaughter.
- ▶️ Twice the murder!
- ▶️ Make that two.
- ▶️ Double kill.

**Тройное убийство**

**Ультра убийство**

**Буйство**

**Серия убийств**

**Превосходство**

**Мега-убийство**

**Неудержимость**

*Шанс 10%, только для игроков, серия врага*

- ▶️ No really, you've got to stop this person.

**Свирепость**

**Зверство**

*Шанс 10%, только для игроков, серия врага*

- ▶️ You ARE still trying to stop the spree, yes?

**Богоподобие**

*Шанс 10%, только для игроков, серия союзников/ваша*

- ▶️ You had better win after this.

**Превосходство Богов**

- ▶️ Holy shit!
- ▶️ Yes that's a whole lot of people dying.
- ▶️ Now this is disgusting.
- ▶️ We're now in the generic max-kill-spree dialogue!
- ▶️ It's a spree bigger than 9, that's all I know.
- ▶️ aaaaand we're in the rubbing-it-in phase.
- ▶️ Yes, still killing people. Still doing it.
- ▶️ I hope these skills transfer to the real world.
- ▶️ There's cheating going on here, I can smell it.
- ▶️ Skilled at Dota, the most desirable trait within the human species.
- ▶️ This is definitely not sociopathic behavior.
- ▶️ It's just an ego thing at this point, isn't it?
- ▶️ The slaughter continues!
- ▶️ When will it stop???
- ▶️ Will someone please stop this person? They're ruining the game!
- ▶️ Is the game still any fun?
- ▶️ Who will stand up to this monster?
- ▶️ What a lesson in accepting the inevitability of death this person is teaching us.
- ▶️ It goes on....and on......and on....
- ▶️ Someone's been practicing.
- ▶️ How many kills is that now?
- ▶️ I think we can safely call this a spree.
- ▶️ Yep, still killing!
- ▶️ Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill killing!
- ▶️ Murdering avatars in a fake sport!
- ▶️ Many of them! Many people have died!
- ▶️ I wonder if it feels good to pwn so hard?
- ▶️ A bunch! THAT'S how big the spree is!
- ▶️ Impressive.

**Серия из 15 убийств**

- ▶️ Tremendous! 15 kills! ....bet you can't get 20.

**Серия из 20 убийств**

- ▶️ Oho, 20 kills? Really though, I don't impress easily below 30.

**Серия из 30 убийств**

- ▶️ 30 kills already! Hey as long as we've come this far, why not take it to 50? See you in 20 more kills!

**Серия из 50 убийств**

- ▶️ Surely you saw this coming: 100 kills! Get to 100! DO IT!!

**Серия из 60 убийств**

- ▶️ Let's be honest, you've probably rigged the game to farm for dialogue from me. Are you proud of yourself for that?

**Серия из 70 убийств**

- ▶️ No really, it's a thing to be ashamed of.

**Серия из 72 убийств**

- ▶️ I'll let it continue, but I can't undo the shame you'll feel at having cheated.

**Серия из 85 убийств**

- ▶️ It must be awful having to hear the same stock dialogue over and over.

**Серия из 90 убийств**

- ▶️ Okay, I get it, the joke's over.

**Серия из 99 убийств**

- ▶️ 1 more to a hundred! If you mess this up now you'll really hate yourself!

**Серия из 100 убийств**

- ▶️ 100 kills!!! Congratulations, but remember that the real victory comes from within. Can't you feel it? Yes, you truly must be a happier person now.

**Серия из 102 убийств**

- ▶️ No? Still no internal validation? Well, I did all I can do. Better luck next time!

**Серия из 200 убийств**

- ▶️ It must be awful having to hear the same stock dialogue over and over.

**Превосходство**

*Ваша команда*

- ▶️ Ownage.

*Шанс 20%*

- ▶️
*120*Apparently you're owning? That's just what I'm being told. - ▶️
*120*It seems you are owning. What exactly you now own, I have no idea. - ▶️
*120*You are owning or pwning or something. - ▶️
*120*You are pwning. Is it...is it poaning? Pewning? Po- whatever.

*Вражеская команда*

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️
*п*Ownage. - ▶️
*п*You are being owned. - ▶️
*п*Oh dear, you are being owned. - ▶️
*п*Hope you enjoy being owned.

*Для зрителей*

- ▶️ Ownage.

*Шанс 20%*

- ▶️
*120*I am informed that ownage is under way. - ▶️
*120*We have thus entered into a state of ownage. - ▶️
*120*A condition for ownage has been met. - ▶️
*120*Observe: one of the teams is owning at Dota. - ▶️
*120*In concordance with the rules of Dota, ownage has been initiated.

**Убийство команды**

*Ваша команда*
*Шанс 30%*

- ▶️ Team wipeout!
- ▶️ Well, don't worry, there's always future games of dota.
- ▶️ As per your strategy, your entire team is dead.
- ▶️ Congratulations! Your entire team is dead!
- ▶️ You did it! Your entire team is dead!
- ▶️ I think we can all appreciate how impressive this other team is.
- ▶️ Incredible! Look how efficiently you all died!
- ▶️ Death to all of you as pennance for your sins!

*Вражеская команда*
*Шанс 75%*

- ▶️ Team wipeout!
- ▶️ They're all down! Now is your chance!
- ▶️ Nothing left to murder!
- ▶️ The enemy is no more.
- ▶️ Congratulations, you're making this game really unfun for the other team.
- ▶️ You know, it's possible that everyone on the other team is just new at Dota. Think of what an awful experience you're making this for them.
- ▶️ See NOW if you don't win I'm just going to be disappointed.

*Для зрителей*
*Шанс 75%*

*Шанс 75%, Силы Света*

*Шанс 75%, Силы Тьмы*

## Оповещение команды

Вы | Силы Света | Силы Тьмы | Противник | ||
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Курьер убит |
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Рошан убит |
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Сооружение атаковано |
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Сооружение разрушено |
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Сооружение добито |
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Сооружения укреплены |
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Мегакрипы |
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Победа |
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## Возрождение

- ▶️ Do it again! Exactly like you did the last time!
- ▶️ Respawned again. Does it ever bother you that you'll never know the sweet release of lasting death? Bothers ME all the time.
- ▶️ Oh look! It's alternate you who stopped playing Dota and went outside! Just look how fit and attractive you are!
- ▶️ SEND IN THE NEXT CLONE.
- ▶️ Okay this time just do everything exactly the opposite of what you did before.
- ▶️ Can anyone TRULY die? In real life, I mean. I - wait, yes, okay, I've answered my own question.
- ▶️ What is it all for? Dying, resurrecting, dying again, resurrecting again.......why???
*дополнение* - ▶️ WELCOME BACK TO DOTAAAAA! GUITAR
- ▶️ Okay this time, let me offer a new piece of strategy:
*дополнение*

## Враг ушёл с линии

- ▶️
*н*You DO know there's no one on top lane, right? - ▶️
*н*Top is missing. - ▶️
*н*Wait, where did everyone in the middle go? - ▶️
*н*Middle is missing. - ▶️
*н*Oh look at that, no heroes on bottom. - ▶️
*н*Bottom is missing. - ▶️
*н*I think. - ▶️
*н*If they gank, don't say I didn't warn you. - ▶️
*н*I don't know what that means, I'm just reading off a script here.

## Период бездействия

*Шанс 15%, в середине игры и далее*

- ▶️
*п*Incredible, you've managed to make the most intricate video game on the planet boring. Where do you keep getting it? - ▶️
*п*Can we PLEASE bring a little excitement back to the game? How about one of you kill your own courier, yes that would really spice things up! - ▶️
*п*Do you know how many hundreds of thousands of millions of hours Valve put into developing this game? Any clue? I ask because right now you're making it look like Snakes and Ladders. - ▶️
*п*I think what we need right now is a bit of music to bring back the mood. MUSIC - ▶️
*п*Ladies and gentlemen, DIGITAL SPORTS! - ▶️
*п*Look at the radical twists and turns this game is taking, you can just FEEL the video games, can't you? I know I can. - ▶️
*п*When nothing of any interest had happened for a good long time, Stanley decided perhaps this match was going nowhere, and he went to spectate something else. - ▶️
*п*The next time someone claims video games are not art, I'm going to show them a replay of this match. - ▶️
*п*Why don't we spice this match up with a fact about shrimp:

## Отключение/переподключение

**Отключение**

*Шанс 25%*

- ▶️
*н*A player has disconnected. - ▶️ One of us has become too intimidated by the sheer power of electronic sports to continue playing
- ▶️ ONE of you has figured out that there are actually things in this world other than Dota.
- ▶️ Fine. Leave. See if I care.
- ▶️ Someone left? But they're going to miss the DIGITAL SPORTS.

**Переподключение**

*Шанс 50%*

- ▶️
*н*A player has reconnected. - ▶️ Oh, they're back!
- ▶️ Well look who's come crawling back.
- ▶️ Oh they're just toying with us now.
- ▶️ Now all of a sudden you want back in? For goodness sake, make up your mind.
- ▶️ Ha! I knew they couldn't stay away.

**Выход из игры**


- ▶️ I'd give up too if I were asked to make so many decisions.
- ▶️ Ah, you're giving up Dota! A wise decision! Go, and live a healthy normal life!
- ▶️ Congratulations on your decision to do things other than Dota, I think you'll find it a wise long-term investment.
- ▶️ They say that the real victory is NOT playing Dota, which makes you a winner!
- ▶️ If you come back, tell me what it's like on the outside.
- ▶️ Freedom...
- ▶️ Push escape and press quit, there's no other way to beat this game! [?]

## Снятие паузы

*Шанс 75%*

- ▶️ Okay back to killing each other!
- ▶️ Okay back to video games!
- ▶️ Once again: video games!
- ▶️ Once again: DIGITAL SPORTS!
- ▶️ Okay we're unpaused! GO! GO! GO! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!
- ▶️ Where were we? Radiant was pushing, or was it...? Okay never mind, everyone just go bottom!
- ▶️ When last we left our heroes...
- ▶️ Back to the indecipherable gibberish!

## Покупка предмета

*Шанс 15%*

- ▶️
*п*Ah the Desolator… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*Ah the Hood of Defiance… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*Ah the Urn of Shadows… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*Well done! Well done!

*Шанс 10%*

- ▶️
*п*Congratulations on your new sentry ward! Best of luck on a lifetime of never receiving any substantial recognition for your work! - ▶️
*п*Look at you, sucking it up and buying the sentry ward. Surely your team will recognize you for your sacrifices. - ▶️
*п*Buying a sentry ward makes you the least powerful hero in the game, but it makes you the most powerful in my heart. - ▶️
*п*Ah the Ring of Aquila… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*Ah the Slipper of Agility… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*People actually buy smokes? Really???

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️
*п*Maybe…maybe this time things will be different… - ▶️
*п*Go, donkey child. Let not the tides of evil into your heart. - ▶️
*п*This courier's soul…so immaculate, so pure… - ▶️
*п*Ah the Tango… The poor man's Divine Rapier… - ▶️
*п*Interestingly, THIS clarity will actually deplete your mana.

*Шанс 3%*

- ▶️
*п*Consume! Consume! Consume! - ▶️
*п*Quickly! Overanalyze whether or not it was the correct purchase! Choke on your own bitter regret! - ▶️
*п*People still buy this item? Why don't you pay attention to the meta-game?? - ▶️
*п*No matter who wins this match, the capitalist pigs are the real winners. - ▶️
*п*Isn't it nice knowing that material consumption brings lasting happiness?

## Дополнения

**Приветствие**

*All Pick*

- ▶️ Today we'll be playing All Pick.

*Least Played*

- ▶️ There's a reason no one plays this mode, and you're about to find out.
- ▶️ Choose wisely.
- ▶️ Least Played.

*Limited Heroes*

*Mid Only*

- ▶️ Today we'll be playing Mid Only.

**Помогает им со стратегией**

*Шанс 20%*

- ▶️ [muffled, distant speech, as though explaining an elaborate strategy]

**Отрывки из истории**


- ▶️
*Twas burning flesh and the twinkling of dashed hopes round her neck, a gift for the heavens, taken untimely from the feet of its mortal bearers. They were not to know her true blessings, blind to their own skin. If there was ever a moment when the truth was made known, it was not one recognized by eyes, but by a more intangible spirit whose true name conflicted with that of the vessel that carried it.* - ▶️
*Bread, she screamed, bread everywhere!! Bread upon bread, within bread, a new civilization built upon a foundation of bread, lovers, masters, givers, workers, the failings and crimes and hubris of humanity. When will it be enough, the populace demanded! But still she decreed: more bread!* - ▶️
*Little dogs and little frogs make tiny homes in little logs / Tens of tens of miles away, evil forces gather sway / Battleground of mortal toil, twixt this hell and earthly soil / Flaming teeth and flaming swords, when little dogs fought demon hordes.* - ▶️
*Eat faster. Eat harder. Eat higher. Eat louder. Every day for day upon day upon day they ate faster harder higher louder. None would best them, none would out-eat them, no fantasies of grandeur clouded their resolve. They would be eating champions, gods amongst mortals, unbested in competition, a new sun rises upon their immaculate consumption empire. They took third.*

**Случайные числа для раздумий**


- ▶️ Twelve
- ▶️ Nineteen
- ▶️ A hundred and eighty billion
- ▶️ Five hundred and fifty five million, five hundred and fifty five thousand, five hundred and fifty one.
- ▶️ Negative eight

**Прекрасный день в Dota-Лэнде**

*Шанс 20%*

- ▶️ Let's destroy it.

**Битва начинается**


- ▶️ The match has begun! Go forth, and prove that video games are art!
- ▶️ Remember that we at Dota HQ recommend regular breaks to stretch and move around a bit every 10 minutes or so during play.
- ▶️ Let's play, everyone. Let's all play.
- ▶️ Okay, so let me impart a bit of wisdom: Don't die. Just do that, keep doing that, over and over and over until the match is finished.
- ▶️ And so they rushed eagerly to battle. But all was not what it seemed....
- ▶️ And yet even as the match began, the end was so much closer than anyone knew...
- ▶️ Why are we here? What is any of this for? These are the questions no one was asking.

*Шанс 5%, только для игроков*

- ▶️ I respect you all regardless of the outcome. But I can't love you. Not after last time...

*Шанс 5%, только для зрителей*

- ▶️ What none of the players know is that winning will not confer any true meaning or deeper sense of validation upon them as individuals. Let's observe.

**Сооружение добито**


- ▶️ Bastards.

*Шанс 50%, только для зрителей*

- ▶️ Bastards.

**Для чего всё это?**

*Шанс 5%*

- ▶️
*п*Oh wait, yes, I'm sorry, you're trying to kill their ancient. Okay, got it, as you were!

**Советы при возрождении**


- ▶️ More couriers. Buy more couriers.
- ▶️ Top lane, only go top lane.
- ▶️ Jungle. Just jungle, nothing else, only jungle.
- ▶️ Buy wards. Buy lots of them, fill your inventory.
- ▶️ Kill your courier. Buy another one. Kill that one too.
- ▶️ Sell all your equipment. Hardcore mode.
- ▶️ Feed. Just, constant feeding.
- ▶️ Win.
- ▶️ Go outside.
- ▶️ Stop everything, just take a minute here to reflect. Yes, a good bit of soul searching is what this team needs.
- ▶️ Kill Roshan by yourself. DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!
- ▶️ Attack your own ancient. Enemies perceive that your team has fallen apart and they become complacent. Allies swoop in while they're vulnerable. VICTORY!!
- ▶️ Stop using mana, you died the last time you tried using mana.
- ▶️ Go on a friend's account and purchase the Stanley Parable Dota pack a second time.

**Факты про креветки**


- ▶️ Did you know the female shrimp can lay up to a hundred million eggs at once? Wow, that's....that number seems a bit high, actually.
- ▶️ Did you know that average shrimp lifespan is between 12 and 16 minutes? Wow, I sure know a lot more about shrimp than I did before this match!
- ▶️ Did you know that shrimp subclass Branchiopoda, order Anostraca are on average 3 inches smaller than the more common branchiopods Notostraca, Diplostraca and Mysidacea? .....okay!
- ▶️ Did you know that the first shrimp was discovered in 1967 by a group of Finnish sailors? I didn't either, facts can really be surprising!
- ▶️ Did you know that shrimp are healthy source of protein and selenium? I did, and I use this information on a regular basis!

**Победа**

*Вы победили*

- ▶️ Wait, you WON?? I really should have written some victory conditions, let me see....ah! Here's one! *ahem* Good.
- ▶️ Aha! I knew that you could win! Like, it was physically possible as an outcome of the match. TOTALLY didn't think it would happen though.
- ▶️ You feel that? What you're feeling right now? True happiness! I know, I can't believe it comes from winning Dota either, but there you have it!
- ▶️ Ah, you've won! As per our prior agreement, I absolve you of all your sins against humanity and decency. Come back if you need another!
- ▶️ You've won Dota 2! Please join us for Dota 3: The Threequel: Sequel to Dota 2: The Return of Dota!
- ▶️ You did it! But I think the real winner today is DIGITAL SPORTS!
- ▶️ Either the Dire or the Radiant win! It was either a compelling match or a boring match, or somewhere in the middle! DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it! Well I'd say we all learned absolutely nothing about ourselves as people today. But we learned even less about each other. And in the end, that's the only true meaning of Christmas.
- ▶️ And that was Dota! Why don't we round things out today with a nice long beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
- ▶️ Well, it seems we've come to the end. But as they say in Dota, the end is never the end is never the end is - STATIC

*Шанс 30%, Силы Света*

- ▶️ Well you just spent a bunch of time watching three people kill a glowing rock. I hope this experience enriches and enlightens the rest of your day.

*Шанс 30%, Силы Тьмы*

- ▶️ Well you just watched a bunch of monsters knock down a tree. I hope this information is of any compelling significance to you AFTER you get up from the computer.

*Зрители*

- ▶️ Either the Dire or the Radiant win! It was either a compelling match or a boring match, or somewhere in the middle! DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it! Well I'd say we all learned absolutely nothing about ourselves as people today. But we learned even less about each other. And in the end, that's the only true meaning of Christmas.
- ▶️ And that was Dota! Why don't we round things out today with a nice long beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
- ▶️ Well, it seems we've come to the end. But as they say in Dota, the end is never the end is never the end is - STATIC

*Шанс 50%, победа Сил Света*

- ▶️ Well you just spent a bunch of time watching three people kill a glowing rock. I hope this experience enriches and enlightens the rest of your day.

*Шанс 50%, победа Сил Тьмы*

- ▶️ Well you just watched a bunch of monsters knock down a tree. I hope this information is of any compelling significance to you AFTER you get up from the computer.

*Вы проиграли*

- ▶️ I don't blame you for losing, I blame all the choices you made and the things you did.
- ▶️ Remember how I said you were a winner in my heart no matter what the outcome of battle? Exactly, I didn't.
- ▶️ Now now, there are other things in life than Dota. Like a personality! Yes, you could go and develop a personality! That'll show 'em!
- ▶️ Wow, what a truly compelling match! Let's listen back on a few of the more memorable moments. Your ancient is under attack. Your ancient is under attack. Your ancient is under attack. Your ancient is under attack.
- ▶️ Either the Dire or the Radiant win! It was either a compelling match or a boring match, or somewhere in the middle! DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, DIGITAL SPORTS!!
- ▶️ And there you have it! Well I'd say we all learned absolutely nothing about ourselves as people today. But we learned even less about each other. And in the end, that's the only true meaning of Christmas.
- ▶️ And that was Dota! Why don't we round things out today with a nice long beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
- ▶️ Well, it seems we've come to the end. But as they say in Dota, the end is never the end is never the end is - STATIC

*Шанс 25%, Силы Света*

- ▶️ Well you just spent a bunch of time watching three people kill a glowing rock. I hope this experience enriches and enlightens the rest of your day.

*Шанс 25%, Силы Тьмы*

- ▶️ Well, congratulations on not being able to knock down their tree. Literally, their ancient is a tree and yours is the protrusion of unholy evil and you STILL - okay forget it, whatever. Dota.
- ▶️ Well you just watched a bunch of monsters knock down a tree. I hope this information is of any compelling significance to you AFTER you get up from the computer.

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