The Psychological Consequences of Midlife Men's Social Comparisons with Their Young Adult Sons.

I examine how midlife men (N = 542) compare their work and family lives with those of their young adult sons, and how these comparisons affect the fathers' self-evaluations. Analyses are based on quantitative and qualitative data from the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study. Fathers who rate their work lives as more successful than their sons' have elevated self-esteem only when they also report being very close with their children. Open-ended interviews reveal that men derive pride from, financially supporting their families, yet normative and economic constraints of the "good provider" role prevented them from pursuing their own career aspirations and from maintaining close parent-child ties. Intergenerational social comparisons highlight the distinctive work and family constraints felt by the midlife fathers. Key Words: fatherhood, intergenerational relations, midlife, self-esteem, social comparisons, work. At midlife and beyond, adults review their past experiences and gauge how successful they have been in important domains, such as family or work (Neugarten, 1968). Those who evaluate their lives positively tend to experience emotional well-being, whereas those who have not met their own or others' expectations may experience regret, poor self-esteem, or depression (Landman & Manis, 1992). The criteria for defining and evaluating a "successful" life may fluctuate, however, particularly during periods of considerable social change. Shifting notions of success may have important ramifications for midlife and older men as they review their earlier choices and accomplishments, especially in the domains of work and family. Most White middle-class men and women who were young adults in the 1950s and early 1960s were socialized to specialize in work and family roles, respectively (Bernard, 1981). Behavioral realities meshed with normative expectations; in 1960, fathers of young children reported nearly universal full-time employment, and fewer than 10% of married women with children worked for pay (Spain & Bianchi, 1996). Most fathers were able to support their families on their income alone; even men with relatively limited education could find stable and well-paying jobs in the manufacturing sector (Bluestone & Harrison, 1982). Social changes since the mid to late 1960s have created a new normative context, however, where fathers (and mothers) are expected to fulfill the roles of both successful breadwinner and actively involved parent (Williams, 2000). Economic realities also have contributed to the blurring of gender-based social roles and expectations. The erosion of young men's earnings since the 1970s, combined with rising costs of living, now make it economically necessary for both spouses to work for pay in many married couples (Spain & Bianchi, 1996). Husbands have adapted by playing a larger role in both childrearing and homemaking than their fathers did, although men still lag behind women in both activities (Coltrane, 1996). This new normative template for men's and women's work and family roles may have important implications for the ways that current cohorts of older men evaluate their earlier accomplishments. These men may experience regret or self-criticism if they use the contemporary cultural ideal (i.e., the involved father) as the standard for evaluating their past choices and actions, particularly their strong adherence to the good breadwinner expectation. I propose that older men may use their young adult sons' lives as a benchmark for evaluating and understanding their own past experiences. The young adult sons, now in their 20s and 30s, were socialized to hold less rigidly demarcated gendered social roles and to have structured their work and family lives differently than their fathers did (Townsend, 2002). The sons' lives may provide a tangible example of the work and family roles promoted as the cultural ideal in the late 20th century. The fathers' intergenerational comparisons may bring into sharp focus the distinct advantages and challenges experienced by their own generation, as they evaluate their successes in the domains of work and family. …