The Alteration and Disintegration of the American Family: Implications for Children and Society

It is not uncommon to encounter references to the disintegration of marriage and of families in both popular and scholarly discussions of the status of families in America. Most references to disintegrating marriages and families connote that such disintegration is negative, undesirable, harmful to private interests, and contrary to public policy. This article will consider whether the disintegration of marriages (and marital families) is really contrary to public policy in general and contrary to the welfare of children specifically. Does the integration or the disintegration of marriage really matter for the sake of children? Do non-marriage and divorce harm children? Why or why not? Aren't children sometimes better off when the parents split up (for example, when one parent is an addict or abusive)? Do our national and state public policies consistently favor, facilitate, and reward the preservation of marriages? Do they significantly and effectively oppose the disintegration of marriages? Should the public policy of the states and of the federal government strongly favor marital and family integration? Why or why not? If so, how, to what extent, and by what means should marital formation, preservation, and family integration be favored, encouraged, or required in American family law? This article focuses upon marriage as a crucial variable in assessing the degree to which the welfare of children is promoted and protected by the government. The hypothesis that this article seeks to test, and thereby establish, is that the traditional, committed, legally recognized marital union of a man and a woman is the condition that most profoundly determines the futures of children. The article concludes that sound, healthy, loving, gender-integrated marriages provide the best relationship setting to foster the well-being of children, and that such marriages should be vigorously promoted in society and by the law. Yet marriage appears to be disintegrating in American society; the prospects for children and for the future of society are becoming gravely insecure. Ironically, as marriage is redefined and new relational forms and additional kinds of relationships are incorporated into marriage, the integrity of the institution and the ideals of marriage are weakened. Thus, for example, by the integration of same-sex couples into the institution of marriage, the disintegration of marriage is hastened. There is need for family laws in the United States to strengthen, support, revitalize, celebrate, and encourage the time-proven culture of marriage. The question is how to do so. In fact, there are several important and effective methods by which governments may promote and protect marriage. Sadly, few American states employ them. In Part II, several evidences of the disintegration of families in the United States, and alterations in them, are reviewed. The analysis focuses upon dual- gender nonmarital cohabitation (heterosexual informal family creation), same- sex marriage (redefinition of marriage), and divorce (dissolution of marriage), as well as some other social trends and cultural evolutions relating to and influencing the reconceptualization of marriage and of marital families. In Part III, the impacts of these forms of family disintegration and alteration upon children are examined. This part addresses the questions: Does it matter, and if so, why? In some relatively rare cases, each of these types of family reconceptualization may protect legitimate private or social interests. However, much more frequently and to a much greater extent, each of these trends causes significant harm to the most vulnerable individuals (especially women and children) and to society in general. Next, Part IV describes some proposed programs aimed at discouraging family disintegration. Public policies can influence human behavior, and some family-supportive and family-strengthening policies could revitalize marriage to the benefit of children. Part V concludes and makes some recommendations. One important propo- sal is for governments to help disaffected spouses develop marital relationship skills, including the skills of forgiveness and reconciliation. Those skills would help them strengthen their marriages and families.