Man Up: Young Men's Lived Experiences and Reflections on Counseling

Understanding masculinity and the manner in which men function and adapt has been the focal point of working with men in clinical settings (Berger, Levant, McMillan, Kelleher, & Sellers, 2005; Bruch, 2002; Gonzalez, Alegria, & Prihoda, 2005; O'Brien, Hunt, & Hart, 2005; Wong, Pituch, & Rochlen, 2006). Researchers have attempted to understand young men in particular to evaluate ways of addressing the social and interpersonal issues that seem to plague young men, namely, violence, drug abuse, and depression. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (2010) reported that young men ages 18-24 years were responsible for the majority of the 1.2 million violent crimes committed in 2010. Men experience distress at rates similar to and higher than those of women (Robertson, Lin, Woodford, Danos, & Hurst, 2001) and are 4 times more likely to die by suicide, primarily because the means that are used tend to be lethal (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], n.d.). These statistics suggest that young men may address depression and social adjustment by adopting lethal or unhealthy coping strategies, including drug use. Young men ages 18-24 years account for the largest group of Americans who have an alcohol disorder (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 2008). For young male clients, the tendency to avoid help and repress feelings may result in long-term interpersonal and health problems that may not be properly diagnosed and treated, including depression (Leimkuhler, Heller, & Paulus, 2007) and antisocial tendencies (Chu, Porche, & Tolman, 2005; Pollack, 2006). Features associated with traditional masculinity have been explored in terms of men's functioning. Good and Wood (2005) evaluated the well-being and interpersonal relationships of 397 college men at a large midwestern university and found that participants who restrict emotions had limited male friendships and that depression was confounded by adherence to traditional roles in which men are expected to be unemotional and high achievers. In their study of attitudes toward counseling, Berger et al. (2005) found that young men who adhered to traditional concepts of masculinity had less favorable attitudes regarding counseling. Furthermore, Gonzalez et al. (2005) found that men are less likely to seek help and tend to hold negative views of counseling. Finally, O'Brien et al. (2005) conducted focus groups with men ages 15-72 years to explore factors associated with medical and emotional help seeking and found that younger men were subject to perceived scrutiny of male peers in resisting help seeking. Many participants in that study emphasized self-sufficiency and were notably avoidant of the subject of depression, alluding to it only in the presence of male peers. Given findings from research and statistics that suggest that young men face social and interpersonal problems, why are there not more men in counseling? McCarthy and Holliday (2004) surmised that the reason for men's underutilization of counseling services is in the dialectical nature of counseling itself. Counseling requires that the client be willing to ask for help and be reliant, vulnerable, and expressive, and these characteristics are inconsistent with masculine norms (Mahalik, Good, & Englar-Carlson, 2003; McCarthy & Holliday, 2004; Wong & Rochlen, 2005). Mahalik, Good, and Englar-Carlson (2003) argued that adherence to "masculine ideologies (i.e., culturally based scripts for males) should be associated with positive functioning" (p. 124), yet men's efforts to conceal their insecurities often result in unsatisfying interpersonal relationships. In addition, Chu et al. (2005) pointed out that features associated with higher self-esteem, such as humility, mutuality, and authenticity, are lacking in traditional or hegemonic relationships, and it is these areas that indicate the interpersonal significance of adherence to a masculine ideology. Given findings that young men have been socialized to hide feelings and appear self-sufficient (Hust, 2006; Levant & Fischer, 1996; Mahalik, Good, & Englar-Carlson, 2003; Pollack, 2006), seeking out and engaging in counseling might be counterintuitive for young men. …