Bridging with the Sacred: Reflections of an MD Chaplain

Life has a curious way of growing us beyond what we can imagine. After 19 years as an emergency physician, I never could have guessed I would become a chaplain. In fact, there were times during those years when I was incapable of comforting a family after giving them the news that a family member had died. I would be so overcome with emotion after 30e60 seconds of the family’s grief, I would say, ‘‘I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll ask the nurse to come in and be with you.’’ Then, I would get out of the room as quickly as possible. It is ironic. Inmy new career as a chaplain, for the past dozen years, I am the one called to bring comfort. I am the one to provide solace when a baby is stillborn, guidance to a husband struggling with whether to continue respiratory support for his beloved wife, or prayer for the young woman desperately awaiting a lung transplant. I also teach a required class, ‘‘Spirituality andMeaning inMedicine,’’ and an elective, the ‘‘Healer’s Art’’ (developed by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD) to medical students at Stanford. In these classes, students and physicians share personal stories that reveal what I call ‘‘the landscape of human spiritual experience.’’ They speak of unexpected moments of awe in nature or in the operating room, of experiencing the kindness of strangers, of deep connections with family members at life transitions such as weddings or death, as well as grief and loss, and their dream of service. Through such sharing, students and physicians discover they do not need to deny their faith and spiritual values when they practice medicine. They can have a professionalism that honors both. I have had to cultivate the same in myself as I have navigated the journey from actionoriented emergency physician to reflective chaplain. I have had to let go of my focus on ‘‘curing’’ or ‘‘fixing’’ to bring comfort, and to become someone capable of being fully present, bringing all of myself to the bedside: body, intellect, heart, and soul, as well as my training and life experiences. The lessons I have learned apply not only for me but also for any of us who aspire to bring spirituality and meaning into our lives and our work. This has required a lot of personal growth, not all of which was easy or readily embraced. Still, I am glad I overcame my reluctance and followed the call to step more deeply into this sacred dimension of healing. Many of us are responding to this call, each in our own way. I share this reflection as an example of one person’s journey from the traditional role of physician into the realm of spirituality and healing, in the hope that it may be of use to you in your journey. As we each respond to this call, we help to evolve health care into something more complete, something that encompasses biopsychosocial-spiritual care. We all know, innately, that there is a kind of healing not found in an I.V. or prescription bottle Address correspondence to:Chaplain Bruce D. Feldstein, MD, The Jewish Chaplaincy at Stanford University Medical Center, Spiritual Care Service, Stanford Hospital & Clinics, 300 Pasteur Blvd., Suite HG004, Stanford, CA 94305-5625, USA. E-mail: bfeldstein@ stanfordmed.org