When Stepfathers Claim Stepchildren: A Conceptual Analysis

Guided by social constructionist and symbolic interactionist perspectives and a grounded theory method, my conceptual analysis explores stepfathers' experiences with claiming stepchildren as their own. Using in-depth interviews with a diverse sample of 36 stepfathers, my analysis focuses on paternal claiming as a core category and generates 10 properties relevant to this social psychological phenomenon: timing, degree of deliberativeness, degree of identity conviction, paternal role range, solo-shared identity, mindfulness, propriety work, naming, seeking public recognition, and biological children as benchmarks. In addition, I consider how five conditions may influence stepfathers' perceptions of stepchildren. My analysis reveals a number of sensitizing concepts for studying stepfathers' efforts to develop a sense of group belonging and a fatherlike identity. Key Words: fatherhood, identity, social psychology, stepchildren, stepfamily, stepfather. Contemporary family formation and dissolution patterns increasingly foster alternative pathways to social fathering. Men who act in a fatherly way toward other men's children while maintaining a romantic relationship with the children's mother represent an important though understudied category of men critical to an expanded view of fatherhood (Dowd, 2000; Marsiglio, 1998; Marsiglio, Day, & Lamb, 2000). Whereas many men become formal stepfathers by marrying a single mother, others develop an informal fatherly presence in a child's life, oftentimes but not necessarily while living with the child and the child's mother. Just as a full accounting of contemporary fatherhood must incorporate formal and informal stepfathers, a thorough analysis of the social psychology of stepfatherhood must consider the emotional, psychological, and practical aspects of the stepfather-stepchild relationship. By definition, men's bonds with stepchildren are constructed outside the normative model of biological fatherhood and shared DNA. In most instances, the relationships also are formed, at least initially, without the benefit of legal standing. In practical terms, their persistence is usually contingent on men's continued relationship with the birth mother. Varied features of the stepfatherstepchild relationship poignantly highlight men's and children's feelings about and experiences with developing a sense of group belonging and interpersonal attachment. These socially constructed aspects are intriguing due to the ambiguities often associated with the evolution of stepfamily life as an incomplete institution (Cherlin, 1978). Stepfamilies, as an abstract institutional arrangement, are often fraught with uncertainties about "family" norms and unstable alliances between various family members. Such realities can complicate everyday routines and decision making, contributing to stepfamily adjustment problems in many instances. Moreover, stepfathers generally must negotiate their places within a preexisting family dance that has been orchestrated by the birth mother and jointly performed with her child(ren) (Marsiglio, 2004). Birth mothers enter romantic relationships with a preexisting set of experiences, rituals, shared knowledge, interpersonal dynamics, and emotional memories that define their relationships with their child(ren) as part of a family unit. Stepfathers must therefore grapple with their desire and ability to join this evolving family production and to consider how they will be perceived. Consequently, much can be gained by shedding light on how men construct and manage their identities as stepfathers while taking their relationships with others into account. Obviously, a man can approach the stepfathering experience and his relationship to a stepchild in numerous ways. I highlight situations where the stepfather's readiness to nurture, provide for, protect, and see a stepchild as though the child were his own reflects a state of mind and relationship orientation I label paternal claiming. …