Moving away, against and toward God: Karen Horney's neurotic trends and relationship to God

Karen Horney's identification of three "neurotic trends" - moving away, moving against, moving toward - has proved to be a useful and simple rubric for characterizing human interactions. This article proposes this three-fold identification as a way for the Christian counselor or therapist to understand a person's way of relating, especially to God. It helps counselors and therapists to identify the fears and anxieties that lie behind the adoption of each trend; to recognize these trends when they are manifested in relationships toward God; and to offer suggestions for working with these various patterns as they manifest in Christian clients. In recent years Christian counselors have been offered a variety of lenses for understanding how clients relate to God: attachment theory, object relations theory, faith development theory (e.g., Fowler, 1981; Kirkpatrick, 1992; Rizzuto, 1979). The purpose of this article is to demonstrate the usefulness of Horney's (1945) characterization of three "neurotic trends" as a way for the Christian counselor or therapist to understand a person's way of relating, especially to God. More specifically, this article will help counselors and therapists to identify the fears and anxieties that lie behind the adoption of these trends; to recognize these trends when they are manifested in relationships toward God; and to offer suggestions for working with these various patterns as they manifest in Christian clients. Karen Horney's (1945) well known triad of neurotic attitude s - moving toward, away, and against others - has proved a useful rubric for explaining a variety of human behavior and relationships, including interactions between married couples (Horwitz, 1994; Lyon 1991), parents and children (Feiring, 1984), clients and therapists (Zimmerman, 1956), group therapy members (Maiello, 1996), and employer and employees (Allcorn, 1992). However, little has been written using this rubric as a means for understanding people's relationships with God (Cooper, 2003; Kirwan, 1984). While several of the post-Freudian theories have been used to expand our understanding of religious behavior and relationships with God, Horney's triad of neurotic attitudes has not seen wide use. The authors of this article propose that Horney's triad of neurotic trends provides a useful and simple rubric for assessing religious behavior and will prove an effective, yet easy to use diagnostic tool for Christian counseling and therapy. Although Horney's language of neurotic trends belongs to an earlier time and a particular theoretical perspective, current therapists may benefit from her insights by thinking of these trends as interpersonal or relational patterns. Alternately, they might be seen as coping styles or ways of viewing self, others and world. Those with an interest in attachment theory may find her categories a useful adjunct to the various attachment styles. Horney's Three Neurotic Trends In her early work, Horney (1937, 1942) initially described ten neurotic needs. Later, these were grouped together and modified to reflect three neurotic trends or stances in relationships with others (1945). Horney dubbed these patterns moving toward, moving away and moving against others. These patterns of relating were considered neurotic because of the disproportionate, indiscriminant, and compulsive ways in which they were employed. It was the inflexible and exclusive use of a single pattern that Horney saw as unhealthy. It is important to keep in mind that for Horney (I945), all of these trends are neurotic; that is, they are unhelpful ways of relating. Thus, while one might assume in common sense language that moving toward God would be a good thing, while moving against or moving away from God would be bad, for Horney, moving toward (others or God) is also neurotic when characterized by certain compulsive and inflexible attitudes. By the same token, all of these patterns can have a measure of healthy relating when used with flexibility and in appropriate regard to setting (Horney, 1945). …