Gerontologists and the Real People We Study: Honoring the Lived Experience and Expertise of Elders

Gerontologists and geriatricians often speak appreciatively about what we learn from listening to the older adults we meet in our work. Many of us conduct research designed to elicit detailed information on what older people think and do in their daily lives, but we focus on reporting our results in the aggregate and usually with numbers and technical vocabulary for the scientific record. Only a few of us attempt to conduct or reframe gerontological research or clinical observations with the primary goal of communicating directly to the general public. In 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, sociologist–gerontologist Karl Pillemer takes on this translational challenge. An accomplished researcher on issues of family relations, caregiving, and long-term care, Pillemer had already been privy to conversations with thousands of older adults over his career when he met a 91-year-old woman in a nursing facility whose positive attitude and genuine enjoyment of her life seemed to him in striking contrast to her limitations and modest circumstances. The wisdom she imparted and the practical advice she shared inspired him to take on an extensive project, referred to as “The Legacy Project.” Through this project he and a research team at Cornell strove to systematically collect life lessons and practical advice from what he refers to as the “older generation,” a group that “knows things about life that the rest of us don’t know.” Pillemer’s plan was to harvest and disseminate that wisdom and expertise on the big issues in life and to share the lessons with younger people who could benefit and use the practical advice to guide them through life. Along the way, however, he discovered that the advice shared was useful to him personally as he advanced through his 50s and that it added new insight and a new dimension to his career as a gerontologist. While continuing to explore solutions to some of the challenges facing older adults—the focus of much of his work—Pillemer took a different path to create a road map to successful living over the life course. Participants in the project were recruited via multiple means—including a public invitation to send in answers to a set of questions, a national scientific survey of more than 300 people aged 65+ selected at random and interviewed by telephone, and in-depth face-to-face interviews with another 240 people aged 70+ nominated by individuals and organizations as being “particularly wise” and “likely to be able to articulate life lessons.” Pillemer himself conducted many of the interviews and coded and sorted the specific pieces of advice that turned out to represent six primary themes. For each theme, he identified five key lessons, resulting in the 30 lessons for living referred to in the title. The book is divided into eight chapters, including six that describe lessons for a happy marriage, a successful career, parenting over the life course, aging well, living life without regrets, and choosing happiness. Each topical chapter is formatted to include the questions asked, the lessons illustrated in participants’ verbatim quotes, and practical tips summed up in “refrigerator lists,” similar to those