Hope-Focused Marriage: Recommendations for Researchers, Clinicians, and Church Workers

In response to questions posed to several respondents in this special issue, I describe a hope-focused approach to improving marriage, especially among Christians who marry. Hope involves maintaining a positive motivation to change (i.e., willpower), a variety of pathways to change (i.e., waypower), and perseverance (i.e., waitpower). I use these hope-focused principles to understand marriage and its future, to guide recommendations for public policy and preventive strategies, and to encourage helpers to continue to help couples. Despite cultural influences that challenge marriage as an institution, I remain hopeful that society and intervention specialists can still strengthen marriages. ********** Can you briefly describe what kind of work you're currently doing in support of Christian marriages? In 1996, God gave me a clear mission statement for the foreseeable future: to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home, and homeland. I have had many research interests over the years. But I now believe that God wants me to focus on forgiveness. Since 1996, I have pursued this purpose. I have done other research (such as studying marriage and Christian values) in service of my prime mission. I recently completed a six-year longitudinal study funded by the John Templeton Foundation on interventions in early marriage (ended July 31, 2003). In the 1980's, I created an approach that has evolved into what is now call hope-focused marriage counseling (Worthington, 1989, 1999), or hope-focused relationship enhancement (Worthington et al., 1997). That approach has guided my practice, training, and research into marriage intervention. Colleagues and I demonstrated that a five-hour enrichment intervention could be effective (Worthington et al., 1997). I have done component analyses of that method over the years to find out which parts are most effective (Hammonds & Worthington, 1985; Ripley & Worthington, 2002; Worthington, Buston, & Hammonds, 1989; Worthington et al., 1995; Worthington & Ripley, 2002). The Templeton-funded research is another of those component analyses. A 9-hour intervention is delivered by a consultant to a couple. In one intervention, I use the parts of hope-focused marriage enrichment that concentrate on communication training and conflict-resolution training. Only brief mentions of intimacy and forgiveness are made. In the second intervention, consultants teach FREE (Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy). FREE is a 9-hour intervention that is framed as a way of creating more intimacy and maintaining intimacy if transgressions interrupt the marital flow. FREE includes training in both forgiveness and reconciliation. I described these principles in a recent book that was aimed at a mass-market audience (Worthington, 2001; see also Worthington & Drinkard, 2000) and another Christian version (Worthington, 2003). I have been blessed to continue to collaborate with excellent colleagues. We are studying how people forgive, reconcile, talk about transgressions, and experience forgiveness. We have also continued to study how to help people forgive more quickly and efficiently. I have become particularly interested in other ways besides forgiveness whereby Christians can deal with transgressions. These ways include forbearing, letting go of the transgression, turning judgment over to God, telling a different story about the transgression, or seeking justice through mutual apology, restitution, and repentance. Each of those alternatives is useful in marriage. Forgiveness frequently is a major issue. To succeed in marriage, partners must have hope for the future, learn and use communication, conflict resolution, closeness, and commitment skills in the present, and be able to deal with hurts, wounds, and offenses from the past. So forgiveness is a crucial part of marriage. In recent years, much of my research directly on marriage or marriage interventions has been in collaboration with Jennifer Ripley, Les Parrott, and Leslie Parrott. …