Considering Adaptive and Maladaptive Versions of Unmitigated Communion: Part Two

As a follow-up to previously published studies (Bassett & Aube, 2012), a questionnaire was given to a fairly heterogeneous group of individuals. The questionnaire contained scales measuring the following: parenting style, grace orientation, self-esteem, resilience, tendencies toward jealousy, and body image. The goal was to determine if these measures connected with two versions of unmitigated communion (i.e., self-sacrifice in close relationships) in ways that made conceptual sense and provided construct validity for a measure new measure of these two versions of unmitigated communion (UC-self, UC-other). Consistent with the conceptual model behind this measure of self-sacrifice, it was found that UC-Self connected with various forms of dysfunction while UC-Other simply connected to the emotional and cognitive aspects of empathy. In the previous article published in this issue of the journal, Bassett & Aube (2012) argued that self-sacrifice within close relationships could be adaptive or maladaptive. The theoretical foundation for this claim was anchored in earlier work that pointed out that in close relationships people could prioritize the needs of the other or the needs of the self. Bakan (1966) identified the motivation to prioritize the needs of self as agency, while the motivation to prioritize the needs of the other and the relationship was named communion. A balancing of these two motivations within close relationships was proposed to be adaptive for the individual and the relationship. Helgeson (1994) expanded the distinction between agency and communion by suggesting that individuals who manifest communion that is not counterbalanced by agency experience unmitigated communion (UC). Generally, the literature has presented a clear picture that UC is dysfunctional as it has predicted higher levels of depression (Helgeson, 1994; McBride & Bagby, 2006; Sargovi, Koestner, Di Dio, & Aube, 1997), increased self-neglect (Fritz 8c Helgeson, 1998), and a greater likelihood of romantic relationship dissolution (Aube, Settlage, Di Dio, & Zuckerman, 2008). The outcomes for UC, presented above, reflect a rather uncomplimentary image of the role of self-sacrifice within close relationships. However, Bassett and Aube (Part One of current study) suggested that such a view may be incomplete. For example, Van Lange et al. (1997) suggested that functional self-sacrifice (the authors did acknowledge the possibility of dysfunctional self-sacrifice) can promote healthy couple functioning. Self-sacrifice has also been posited to play a role in helping behavior (Batson, Fultz, & Schoenrade, 1987). Batson proposed that the motivation for helping another can be altruistic or egoistic. With altruistic helping, the primary dynamic is empathy and the ultimate goal is to help another. With egoistic helping, the primary dynamic is self-interest and the ultimate goal is to help self. By definition, altruistic helping clearly involves self-sacrifice. It has been found (Batson, 2001; Dovidio, 1991; Staub, 1991) that empathy-induced altruism is more attuned to the needs of the person needing help, increases cooperation within groups, and improves attitudes toward stigmatized groups of individuals. Perhaps the ultimate affirmation of the value of self-sacrifice can be found within a variety of faith traditions. Within the Christian tradition, the "good news" is that because of the willing sacrifice of God the Son, fellowship can be restored between God the Father and those people who accept the sacrifice of the Son (McMinn, 2008). Furthermore, the recipients of this amazing gift will experience real and eternal life within God the Spirit. Because this triune God is complete and needs nothing (Tozer, 1961), by definition the sacrificial gift of the Son was completely altruistic and simply motivated by God's love in response to our need. Having experienced this amazing grace, followers of Jesus Christ are then encouraged to offer their lives to God as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1) and to love others as they have been loved by God (John 15:12). …