Inter-Religious Marriage from Socio-Historical Islamic Perspectives

In 1986, popular Indonesian actor and singer Jamal Mirdad married another popular Indonesian actor, Lydia Kandou.1 The marriage, however, was not as popular as were the two artists because Jamal Mirdad is a Muslim and Lydia Kandou is a Christian.2 Another recent mixed marriage involved famous pop diva Yuni Sara, a Muslim, and Henry Siahaan, a Protestant business man. Because legal problems blocked their marriage in Indonesia, they were married in another country. These instances are not isolated, and are even becoming more common as other public persons, notably actors and also lay people have entered into inter-religious marriages ("IRMs").3 Socially, however, these marriages are on the fringe of Indonesian society, as many Indonesians do not favor IRMs, and Indonesian law reflects that view. IRMs are difficult to obtain in Indonesia; indeed, for many Indonesians they are impossible to obtain. Some people view the social issues surrounding IRM as human rights violations, although this article does not concern itself with the human rights verdict.4 The nuance of social resistance and the psychological burden of IRM can easily be grasped from a private letter sent by a prominent Indonesian activist of religious plurality and freedom, Professor Nurcholish Madjid, to his daughter who was marrying a Jewish boy in the United States. His religion (Judaism) differs from ours, which to many people sounds absolutely stigmatic, though this problem may be solved by his conversion to Islam. If not, 99 percent of Islamic doctrines will falsify your marriage. It [IRM] is one amongst the most fundamental sinful actions in our religion after shrik,5 rebellion against parental authority, killing a person without any legal reason, and destruction of ecology. Two other things are also worrying daddy-mom, namely, his cultural background which is greatly diverse from ours, and his race, Jewish. All these things are seriously worrying daddy-mom. . . . Mom-daddy strongly advise you to heed the following points; 1. If your marriage plan is quite firm, he must convert to our religion, Islam. 2. The ceremony of his confession to Islam has to be witnessed by a considerable number of people; 3. The whole process of confession has to be openly known by your seniors; 4. It is very important that the confession be documented formally, which means having records of formal witnesses and their signatures. Additionally, the confession has to be done at a recognized institution; headed by authoritative figures; 5. Then, he has to learn our religion very seriously; . . . 6. After all these have been firmly worked out, your marriage can be performed formally in accordance to our Shari'at. Hence, it will be valid either according to religious or civil laws. As a result, you, daddy-mom and all our relatives would be free from any slander and gossip.6 As this excerpt shows, Indonesians wishing to obtain an IRM face opposition from their family, society, and church leaders throughout the world. The cultural and religious pressure couples face cannot be underestimated. This article endeavors to examine the legal controversy concerning IRM and its impacts, especially on women's lives, in Indonesia from a socio-historical perspective. As an introduction, Part I looks briefly at Islamic marriage laws, providing some historical background and also showing the current state of the law. Part II examines how Islamic marriage laws have been implemented in Indonesia. Part III explains how a couple obtains an IRM within - or, as the case may be, outside of- - Indonesian marriage laws. Part IV discusses various difficulties that spouses in IRMs in Indonesia face. I. INTRODUCTION TO ISLAMIC MARRIAGE LAWS Most religious doctrines discourage IRMs. However, modern Islam predominantly forbids IRMs, although the historical roots of the doctrine and the modern justifications differ in some respects from other religions. …