The Perils of the Parkhills: Marriage, Sexuality, and the Gospel of Love

Divorce and marital discord are often envisioned as the result of our fast-paced, self-indulgent modern world. Indeed, popular nostalgic reminiscences of the past, especially the nineteenth century, invoke romantic images of longterm happy and fruitful marriages. Even negative images of that time imply long-term unhappy commitments in the face of social expectations and the difficulty of obtaining divorces. However, the experience of the Parkhills, a nineteenthcentury couple who lived in the tiny village of Essex in northern New York State, fits neither of those stereotypical images. Their story is not a Victorian soap opera featuring softly spoken discord and quiet unhappiness; instead, their troubles assumed epic proportions, curiously modern at times. Eventually their marital conflict drew the entire community of Essex into the battle. First informally and then officially through their church, local townspeople became intimately involved in trying to resolve the Parkhills' situation. Finally, the local judicial system intervened. This article explores popular assumptions made by nineteenth-century Americans regarding the nature of marriage and the obligations of married people to each other and their community. The official efforts of the First Presbyterian Church, and eventually, the Essex County courts, produced a wealth of evidence, including countless interviews and depositions. These documents not only provide eyewitness accounts of the events, but more important, they are also a priceless window into the minds and hearts of the participants. The troubles seem to have begun one morning in the early summer of 1864. That day, Jane Macomber Parkhill walked the short distance from her home on the outskirts of Essex, New York, to the tiny business center of the village. She visited Belden Noble's dry goods establishment to purchase a pair of shoes. As was customary, Noble's wife waited on Jane but refused to hand over the shoes until paid -an action not so customary. Without cash and denied her customary credit, Jane begged for them. Mrs. Noble refused to hand them over. The heated exchange between the two women caused Noble to intervene and instruct his wife to outfit Jane with a new pair of "Bootees" (First Presbyterian Church 274). In the weeks that followed, this scenario played itself out in nearly all the local businesses of Essex, and not one merchant ultimately refused Jane's credit. Essex tradesmen soon found themselves in a terrible quandary. Custom demanded that they provide the wife of one of their most prominent citizens, Mr. Horace Parkhill, with whatever she desired; it was her due as the wife of a man of means. Yet, just prior to the begging incident in Belden Noble's establishment, Parkhill made it clear to all and sundry that he did not intend to honor any debts incurred by his wife in the town. A man noted for his stubborn nature, Horace Parkhill was as good as his word, and Essex merchants found themselves out of pocket for Jane's purchases (Balch 60-62). With growing concern, they cautiously discussed the situation among themselves. The merchants' problem was a thorny one indeed. Jane Parkhill was a respected matron and a member of good standing in the Presbyterian Church. A sober, upright woman who supported charities, Jane also lovingly accepted an orphaned child into her own home. Furthermore, she was entitled by convention and by law to what her husband could provide. On the other hand, Horace Parkhill was a wealthy businessman and farmer. The son of a prominent elder in that same Presbyterian Church, Horace was also an officer in the town's militia, active in local political circles, and well within his legal right to limit his wife's economic activities. Unquestionably, Horace Parkhill should pay his wife's debts, and just as certainly, he could not be forced to do so. While the businessmen discussed their options, other concerned villagers began to focus on the Parkhills and their problems. …