Rethinking Theory after Practice: Education Professor as Elementary Teacher

March 3: My class is sitting in a circle. I took up and notice one of the girls, Sylvia, is crying. Joey, she claims, has called her a fat jerk. The rest of the students all look at me to watch my response. I consider the alternatives: send Joey to hallway and talk to him in a few minutes; have Joey sit next to me; ask Joey to apologize; direct Sylvia to get a thick skin; ask Sylvia, `How can you solve this problem?'; send Joey to principal; have Joey write an apology letter; ask Joey, `Why did you do this?'; ignore the situation completely; keep Sylvia and Joey in for recess for dialogue; put Joey's name on board; yell at Joey; send Sylvia and Joey in hallway to work out problem; tell them to return to their seats and write in journals about problem. It took me about 10 seconds to run through these alternatives, and after each one I thought of reasons why it wasn't a good idea. By the time I looked up at Sylvia after this brief introspection, she had stopped crying and was chattering away with a friend about something else. On surface, the problem had gone away (an excerpt from my teaching/ research journal). Because I teach elementary teaching methods to preservice teachers, my initial goal in returning to the classroom was to refine my understandings of these methods. I learned much more than methods. I began to rethink my understanding of educational theory and its relationship to practice. This teaching experience helped me develop a deeper understanding of the dialectic relationship of educational theory and practice and the idea that knowledge and action cannot be separated in the learning process. I had been an elementary teacher for 8 years. But it had been 10 years since I had my own classroom. Now an assistant professor in a school of education, I believed it important that I return to the classroom for a sustained, authentic, though limited, teaching experience. I volunteered to teach mathematics to a blended class of third and fourth graders, and a local teacher accepted my offer. I was in complete charge each day of the 1-hour math period: curriculum, instruction, and management. When I was teaching math, the teacher (pseudonym Susan) served as my instructional aide (e.g., she helped review student papers, worked with small groups and individuals at my direction). I currently teach in an elementary preservice teacher education program. In the last 10 years, I have had many experiences working in elementary classrooms, but never completely in control of the classroom. I never had to supervise students or worry about classroom management, long-range planning, parents, and paperwork. I taught mathematics every day in a blended third/fourth grade classroom in an elementary school in Corvallis, Oregon, from February 1994 to May 1994. I kept a journal of my teaching experience and wrote in it almost every day after school. I used the journal to express my feelings, frustrations, occasional exaltations, problems and questions, a few solutions, and, throughout, interpretations. I organized the journal entries according to common themes. After sorting entries into themes, I again wrote in the journal by responding to what I had written. I extended certain themes and again interjected interpretations and connections with other theory. The next section consists of excerpts from my journal, organized by themes. The excerpts contain descriptions of my experience as well as some analysis and interpretation. In the discussion section that follows, I theorize how this experience informs my work as a teacher educator. Planning: Burdensome, Unrelenting, and Ill-Defined My plan was to implement a writing-based approach to the teaching of mathematics (Winograd & Higgins, 1995). The math period was about 1 hour; I thought I would certainly be able to squeeze an hour a day out of my university responsibilities. I quickly discovered that I couldn't teach mathematics in 1 hour and if I tried, I would be guilty of poor teaching. …