Love Bites
Tags: adult comedy

Plot synopsis:
Dwight Putnum [Roger Rose] has just asked Kendall Gordon [Kimberly Foster]
for the 10th time to marry him, but Kendall is still unwilling to commit. She has
this idea that the perfect man for her is still out there. Vampire Zachary Simms [Adam Ant]
has just awakened in his coffin from a 100 year sleep in the crypt under
Kendall's house and comes out through the secret door in her fireplace to
face the brave, new world. When the two meet, it isn't quite love at first
bite, but Zachary spends the next day in her bed anyway, which really
angers Dwight when he tries to put the make on Zachary, thinking that the
lump under the covers is Kendall.It doesn't take long before Kendall and Zachary become friends, and
Zachary tells her how he came to be a vampire. He was born in England in
1660 and moved to Boston in 1675. In 1688, he was bitten by a vampire
named Nerissa, and they lived together for 100 years before she suddenly
decided to run off with a Washington politician. Zachary pined for Nerissa
for the next 100 years and finally decided to sleep it off. Unfortunately,
he forgot to wake up until another 100 years had passed.And, oh, how the world has changed. Zachary is entranced by such
devices as refrigerators, electric lightbulbs, and cars that talk. Zachary
is also entranced by Kendall, and before long, they are a twosome. Zachary
decides to end his existence as a vampire and asks Kendall to help him in
'reviving his digestive system' so that he can eat human food. Before
long, Zachary is slurping down spaghetti and munching on pizza. When he
finds that he has a blood pressure, can go outside in the daytime, and
drinking blood makes him gag, he proclaims himself 'rehumanized.'
Everything is going great, until 1) Zachary lands a job with Dwight's
insurance firm, 2) Dwight hires Vinnie Helsting [Philip Bruns] to do a little detective
work on Zachary, and 3) Nerissa [Michelle Forbes] shows up wanting Zachary back.Zachary starts working the night shift in the data entry department.
One night he discovers $1,300,000 that has been moving from department to
department in small increments. Dwight rewards him for his find by making
him an executive vice president and giving him a company car. Within a
short time, Zachary is using his bloodthirsty skills to put the bite on
potential clients, proving that he can make a killing in the business.
Unfortunately, he's spending less and less time with Kendall and becoming
more and more of a yuppie. When Zachary suggests to the board of directors
a plan that will increase their profits 30% each year for 100 years, they
make him chief executive officer of the company, which effectively puts
Dwight out of a job.While Zachary is rapidly moving up the ladder, Helsting can't find
anything on him. No birth certificate, no credit cards, no paper trail, so
he begins tailing Zachary wherever he goes, taking photographs, and casing
the house Zachary shares with Kendall. One night, when no one is home,
Helsting enters the house, notices the secret door in the fireplace, and
discovers the crypt and Zachary's coffin. While there, he overhears
Zachary's message machine taking a phone call. 'Hello. I can't come to the
phone right now. I'm dead.' Then Nerissa comes on, warning Zachary to be
careful so that Dwight doesn't find out what Zachary really is. Helsting
puts two and two together and figures it out...Zachary is a vampire.It looks like Zachary is about to be defanged. Dwight wants his
business back. Kendall says Zachary was more human when he was a vampire
and wants him out of her life. Nerissa says that the only solution is to
'revamp' him, so she gets the process started by biting him on the neck.
Dwight takes back his business, setting up Zachary as a consultant with a
perpetual income that will make him rich for centuries. Kendall informs
Zachary that she is pregnant with his baby and agrees to allow him to
'vampirize' her when the baby is old enough to understand. Nerissa agrees
to become the baby's godmother and buy her pretty dresses or take her to
Mets nightgames. [Original Synopsis by bj_kuehl.]

Review: Poor Ole Zachary.
I must say, as vampire movies go, this one is just adorable.
I have seen some comedy vampire movies, but this one just grabs you.
It took me years to find this movie on video for US video, the only ones I could find were for British video and every time it would come on TV would be about 2 in the morning.
Adam Ant was great as well as everyone in the cast.
It put a different take on the whole vampire legend thing and the dialog between Zachary and Kendall was just terrific, especially their first meeting.It really was a feel good movie from start to finish and I would recommend it to anyone who likes a light hearted comedy with a hint of the supernatural..
Maybe It's Not the Best Movie, but I took a liking to it.....
Sorry, the way I see it there are maybe two types of good movies, one that is just brilliance, a 5 star all the way, and a movie that you just plain like for some reason.
And I just liked this movie...why I can not say.
It just grows on you?.
Yeah, it's kinda cheesey...
but Adam Ant is in it!.
If you are in the mood for a farce of all things Vampire, then this is the movie to watch tonight.
It is a little cheesey, but it's a hyperbolic satire on the whole Vampire mythos so it's just doing it's job.
Besides that Adam Ant plays a great Romantic lead and just as good of a Vampire as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt could ever hope to pull off...
at least he has a convincing accent...
Bottom line: Don't take it seriously, don't over analyze it, Don't turn it on expecting Bellalugosi....
and you may just enjoy it!.
I loved it!.
Okay, so it's not your regular vampire fare.
But this movie is so cute, with such sweet chemistry and oddly working storyline, that it works.
Sure, it's rather silly.
But this movie has a quality I can't describe which just makes you love it.
The actors aren't particularly talented (except for maybe Adam Ant and Michelle Forbes who were just great) but they made it work.
IT was cheesy, but in that "gotta love it" way that actually worked.Adam Ant was just great.
He turned in a great performance, and he just had a way with the part that was wonderful.
I couldn't help but laugh out loud as he "turned into" a bat, or when he discovered about alarms ("You are too close to the dishwasher...step away from the dishwasher...").All in all, I loved this movie, and I have to say that "Love Bites" is probably the sweetest, cutest, most feel-good vampire movie I've even had the joy of seeing.
And Zachary Simms has to be the most perky, nice vampire in the world....
light hearted approach to the vampire film.
Has to be a maximum score from me.
Always been a huge fan of Adam Ant and I think he is absolutely perfect in this role.
I genuinely liked the film aside from A.Ant being in it.
Its been a while since I've seen it and gave up looking for it a while ago on video/DVD.
I love anything to do with vampires and I really enjoyed the more light hearted approach of this film.
I would recommend this film to anyone who wants an easy going amusing romantic film with a touch of the English eccentricity found in Adam Ants vampire character.
I'm sure the critics would have panned this film when it was released but I don't care I'll always love this film!