Men in Black II
Tags: comedy, cult, flashback, humor, satire, entertaining

Plot synopsis:
The Columbia torch buzzes then flashes like a neuralizer.A video shows Mysteries in History: Episode 27 -- Men in Black (the host: Peter Graves narrates): "Although no one has been able to prove their existence, a quasi-government agency known as the Men in Black supposedly carries out secret operations here on Earth in order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies. Here is one of their stories that (making quotations marks with his fingers) 'never happened', from one of their files that doesn't exist." Crude props and effects accompany the story:"1978. Leaders of Zartha flee their planet in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian Serleena." (Serleena is represented by a jumbled mass of hoses). "Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring with them their greatest treasure -- the Light of Zartha -- a cosmic force so powerful, that, in the wrong hands, it could spell the annihilation of Zartha. The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna (Paige Brooks), beseeched the Men in Black to hide the Light from Serleena. But they had no choice. Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth." (Serleena's space ship lands. It looks like an 8-ft tall metal ice cream drumstick with three landing legs.) "However, in an act of galactic bravery, the Men in Black subdued Serleena, allowing the Zarthans to escape so they might hide the Light on another planet. Serleena, released from her captors, vowed that the Light would be hers, and that she would destroy any planet that stood in her way." (The reenactment ends.)Peter Graves finishes: "And so, never knowing what happened, the people of Earth were once again saved by a secret society of protectors known as the Men in Black."Over the opening credits, Serleena's space ship flies through space, destroying planets it passes. It finally reaches Earth in July 2002.A dog in New York Central Park barks at the sky. The dog runs and gets away from the owner. Serleena's ship crash-lands in Central Park. The landing legs protrude and then extend to upright the ship. Out of the bottom opening, a tiny creature (Serleena) ejects onto the ground. The dog catches up to the ship (which is only a few inches tall) and barks at the creature, which looks like a strange mouthless serpent. The serpent's head opens up and roars loudly, scaring the dog away. The serpent slithers across the ground, coming across a magazine. Wind blows the pages open to an ad for Victoria's Secret; the female model wears black lingerie. The head opens wide and then hundreds of serpents come out, screeching and shrieking, forming a full-sized replica of the model in the magazine (Lara Flynn Boyle). Immediately after Serleena fully forms, a rapist dressed in leather grabs her and holds a knife to her neck. He licks her and tells her that she tastes good, and then drags her to a nearby bush. Hidden from view, Serleena roars and eats the man, his legs visible as she eats him upside down. Serleena says, "Yeah, you too." She walks back from the bush, her stuffed stomach sloshing and gurgling, and then looks at the ad again. She growls then walks back to the bush and vomits the rapist, then comes back out slim again, carrying his clothing, then walks away.Men in Black (MiB) Agent J, "Jay", (Will Smith) and his latest partner, Agent T, "Tee", (Patrick Warburton), encounter a flower protruding from a sidewalk grating. Jay tells Tee, "Nothing fancy, no heroics, by the book this time." Tee replies, "Got it," then kicks the flower. Jay talks into the grating, telling "Jeff" that they're wondering what he's doing here. Tee kicks the flower again, and Jay looks at him, irritated. Jay continues his rebuke of Jeff, reiterating their arrangement: as long as Jeff stays within the "E", "F", and "R" subway lines, he can eat all the inorganic matter he wants. Tee grabs the flower and pulls on it, asking "worm boy" what he's doing. The grating shakes and Jay tries to calm Jeff. Jeff, a giant worm hundreds of feet long, bursts through the grating. Jeff takes Tee screaming with it into the air, holding onto the flower on its head. As Jeff takes Tee up, Jay apologizes to Jeff for his partner, who is "new and kind of stupid." Jeff throws Tee onto the ground, and then withdraws back into the hole. Jeff's tail bursts out of the ground nearby and knocks Jay screaming into a fruit stand.Jay jumps into the first hole, landing on Jeff as it speeds through a subway tunnel. Jay bumps his head on the overhead, and then holds onto the flower. Jay's head knocks into some passing overhanging metal, and then he injects Jeff with the tranquilizer. After dodging more overhanging metal and some signals he pokes his hand and bumps his head again. Commuters are waiting by a station. They watch a subway train pass by, then watch Jeff pass by shrieking the other direction with Jay yelling. The commuters look back at their phones, magazines, and newspapers as if nothing abnormal happened. Jay has the hypo ready and raises it up to inject Jeff again, but it throws him screaming through the window of the subway car up ahead. Jay gets up and shows his MiB ID card to the passengers, telling them that he's from the Transit Authority. He tells them to move to the forward car because "there's a bug in the electrical system," but no one even notices him. Jay repeats his request, telling them that there's a bug in the electrical system, then looks back. On cue, Jeff takes a bite out of the rear of the subway car, then the passengers scream and run to the forward car. Jay sarcastically tells them to sit down because it's only a 600-foot worm. Jeff takes another bite of the subway car. Jay tells the motorman, Capt. Larry Bridgewater (Peter Spellos), to "put the hammer down," but he tells Jay that he decides what happens on the train. Jeff then takes a bite out of that subway car, and Capt. Bridgewater rushes to the control console. Jay walks to the rear of the subway car and threatens Jeff with his blaster, so Jeff closes its mouth and stops chasing them. Sparking as metal drags the ground, the shredded subway car limps into the 81st Street Station. Jay announces the arrival to the passengers. He steps out and zaps the passengers with his neuralizer, then sarcastically thanks them for participating in New York City's drill; had it been an actual emergency, they would have been eaten. He then lectures them about not listening, being ignorant and "seeing it all," and ignoring his request to move to the next car. They recover, and Jay zaps them with the neuralizer again. He thanks them for participating in a drill, and hopes they enjoy the new smaller, more energy efficient subway cars. Jay walks away and zaps the motorman too.Jay calls MiB headquarters to secure the perimeter and to send a clean up crew to 81st and Central Park West. He then orders MiB to revoke Jeff's movement privileges immediately and escort him back to the Chamber St. station. He finally requests a check of the expiration date on the unipod worm tranquilizer. When he climbs the stairs out of the station, he tells two men that the station is closed for a drill; they become indignant. Jay says, "You're welcome."Jay sits on a bench and Tee comes back to sit with him. Tee knows that he didn't go "by the book." Jay asks him when he last looked at the stars, and if he ever felt alone in the universe. Tee isn't much for conversation. Finally Jay takes Tee to eat some pie.Scrad (Johnny Knoxville), a two-headed humanoid alien, returns to his place after a night on the town. His other head grows out of his back on a tentacle -- it's his smaller twin Charlie (Johnny Knoxville) whom he keeps in a backpack; both are equally stupid. Scrad is scolding Charlie for "talking behind my back" and chasing away a woman at a bar. Scrad turns around and sees Serleena, but doesn't recognize her. Charlie tries his pick-up line on her. Serleena strangles them with her serpent tentacles, and Scrad finally recognizes her. She tells him that she got his message, and asks where the Light is. Charlie wants $50 million to tell her, but Serleena puts tentacles through their ears and noses. Scrad tells her that although they couldn't find the Light, they tracked it to a guy who might know where it is; he runs a pizza parlor on Spring St. They all leave.Jay and Tee eat pie at the Empire Diner. It has a flying saucer sticking out of the roof, as if it crashed. Tee starts blubbering because he knows that Jay's going to neuralize him. Jay tells him to stop making a scene, and then asks him why he joined MiB. Tee replies that after six years in the Marines, he likes to serve, likes the action, and likes to protect the planet. Jay tells him that since he likes being a hero, he joined the wrong organization. Jay asks Tee if he heard of James Edwards (himself), but Tee says no. Jay says that he saved the lives of 85 people on the subway, but no one knows that he exists; therefore, how can anyone ever love him. Tee sobs loudly some more. Jay zaps Tee with the neuralizer. Jay tells Tee to get married and have a bunch of kids. As Jay leaves, he tells a waitress that his buddy is kind of shy, but thinks that she is hot. The waitress and Tee smile at each other.At Famous Ben's Pizza of Soho, Ben (Jack Kehler) (Laura's boss) presents Laura Vasquez (Rosario Dawson) with the "Employee of the Month" plaque on the wall. She gets a case of Mountain Dew from the basement. When she returns to the parlor, Serleena is holding Ben in the air, and is demanding that he give her information about the Light of Zartha. Ben claims that he doesn't know anything. Laura calls on the phone to report a robbery, then the back door pops open. Serleena repeatedly orders the dense Scrad to check on the door, so Laura hides under the counter. Scrad reports that the wind blew the door open. Serleena tells Ben that although she traveled the universe for 25 years looking for the Light, it never left Earth; they (the Zarthans) kept it on Earth. Ben still claims that he doesn't know what she's talking about. Laura peeks over the counter. Serleena tells Ben that even though they hid the Light, she will find it, and then Zartha will be theirs (the Kylothians). Ben finally answers in a deep alien voice that she's too late; at midnight the Light will leave the 3rd planet and be back home. Serleena growls then slashes him with a tentacle, splitting him in two and killing him, and his skin (a rubber-like suit) falls to the floor. Charlie complains that Ben is dead, and they didn't get any information from him. Serleena reminds the idiot that Ben said "third planet." Serleena tells them that the Light is on Earth, and she knows who will tell her where it is. She takes a pan of pizza and they all leave. Laura cries silently while she sits on the floor behind the counter. Thunder rumbles then she looks up and it rains.Jay returns to MiB headquarters. The guard (Alpheus Merchant) wonders if Jay ever goes home and remarks that he neuralized another partner. When he goes to the customs bay, Jay immediately gives orders to various personnel how to do their jobs. He finally asks why a dead Tricrainasloph is going through passport control. (It looks like a giant pink blob with many tentacles.) Several men are trying to move it, including using a pallet jack. Jay goes to Zed's office, and Zed (Rip Torn) congratulates him on his work at the subway. Jay asks Zed what he has for him. Zed replies that others work at MiB too and can handle it. Jay asks again, but Zed refuses again. Jay tells Zed that he'll be in the gym if Zed needs him, so Zed finally tells him about the killing at the pizza parlor. Zed tells Jay to take Tee with him and make a report. Jay tries to tell Zed about Tee, but Frank (the alien talking pug) (voiced by Tim Blaney) comes in and interrupts them. Zed tells Jay to stop neuralizing MiB personnel, but Jay says that Tee was crying in the diner. Jay adds that Elle (Dr. Laurel Weaver, Linda Fiorentino, seen in Men in Black) doesn't count, because she wanted to go back to the morgue. Zed tells Jay that he needs a partner and Frank volunteers.In the garage, Frank, wearing a black suit, runs to keep up with Jay. Jay makes him remove the suit. Frank then talks endlessly as Jay brings his car out with a remote: a black 2003 Mercedes-Benz E-Class W211. A man (later revealed as the automatic pilot) is at the wheel. Jay drives down the street, and Frank hangs his head out the window while singing the song "I Will Survive". Jay makes Frank come back inside the car, but he hums the song instead. Finally Jay makes him be quiet.When they reach Famous Ben's Pizza, Frank wants to do the "good cop/bad cop" routine, but Jay tells him to just shut up. Jay meets two MiB agents in the parlor, who tell him that there's a phosphorous residue on the wall and floor, which they sent to MiB for analysis. Frank makes a joke about Ben, still on the floor: "Zero percent body fat." The two MiB agents laugh but stop when Jay stares at them. They tell Jay that there was a witness, Laura Vasquez, whose name they wrote on a napkin. The napkin shows a pizza slice pointing at the Statue of Liberty, whose torch points at a star in the sky. Another MiB agent in the kitchen is questioning Laura, who wants answers of her own. Jay goes to the kitchen to handle it, but makes Frank stay there and "sniff around." The agent in the kitchen is telling Laura that everything will be all right, but Jay counters that and makes him leave. When she describes what she saw, Jay tells her that Ben's skin isn't really skin, but is a protoplasma polymer chemically similar to material used in baseball card gum. He then takes her to eat pie.At Empire Diner, Laura tells Jay that Serleena kept asking Ben about a light, the Light of Zartha. He asks her if she's OK, but she sarcastically tells him that an hour ago a man she's known her entire life vanished in front of her eyes because of a woman with things coming out of her fingers and a two-headed guy with the "IQ of a cannoli", but everything is OK. Laura says that she knows what she saw, and asks Jay what she's supposed to believe. He tells her that he's a member of a secret organization that polices and monitors alien activity on Planet Earth; Ben was an alien, and so were the people who killed him. Jay says that he doesn't know why they killed Ben, but he will find out. Jay pulls out his neuralizer and points it at her, and she expects that he'll kill her. He tells her that it will flash and put everything back the way it was before. She wonders that after he "flashes" her, if she'll know it's him if she sees him again. He replies that he'll see her but she won't see him. He points the neuralizer at her, but she tells him that it must be hard and lonely. A bicycle bell rings, and Jay looks out the window to see two people riding a tandem bicycle again, their clothing and the bike covered with lights (as seen in Men in Black). One of Jay's devices beeps, and he puts away the neuralizer. She asks about the "flashy thing", and he tells her that he'll flash her some other time. Jay goes outside and finds Frank in the car barking rhythmically to the song, "Who Let the Dogs Out" (by Baha Men). Jay turns off the radio and then gets in and starts the car. Frank asks Jay if he told the girl that he loves her, but he replies that she's just a witness to a crime. Frank knows that Jay is attracted to her, but Jay refuses to take his advice.Jay and Frank arrive at the park where Serleena landed and killed the rapist. Many MiB personnel are there and have secured the area. When Jay and Frank get out, Frank tries to act important, telling everyone that he's Agent Eff, Agent Jay's new partner. An agent laughs at Frank, so Frank attacks him. Jay goes inside a tent and finds Serleena's spaceship, then calls Zed on a communicator, which looks like a cross between a videophone, a Game Boy, and a PDA. Jay tells Zed that the space ship is Kylothian, Class "C". Zed replies that it's Serleena's. Jay tells Zed that the witness said that the perps were looking for the Light of (Zed finishes) Zartha. Zed replies that it doesn't make sense, because the Light is not on Earth; they took care of that a long time ago. Jay retorts that obviously they didn't. Zed tells Jay that it's very bad news; 25 years ago the Zarthans came to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena. Jay says that they don't do that. Zed replies that it's why he ordered it off the planet. Jay asks Zed if he's sure the Light isn't still here, because of the Kylothian ship in the park. Zed replies that he's positive, because his best agent carried it out, just as if he ordered Jay to do it. Jay says that they should ask the agent, but Zed replies that they can't -- he's "dead" -- he works at the Post Office. Jay is shocked. Zed tells him that if Serleena gets to Kay before they do, he's dead; Earth's existence may depend on Kay's knowledge, but Jay wiped out Kay's memory of it. Zed orders Jay to bring Kay in.Jay and Frank go to retrieve Kay. Frank rambles on about how cool it is to get the great agent Kay, Jay's mentor. They arrive at the small town of Truro, Massachusetts, and Jay tells Frank to stay in the car. Inside the post office, Kay grins when he sees that the former Agent Kay, Kevin Brown (Tommy Lee Jones), is now the postmaster. Kevin is reminding customers to properly wrap their packages. Jay walks up and addresses Kevin as Kay, but he replies, "C, Express Mail, two-day air." Jay tells Kevin that although he doesn't remember Jay, they used to work together. Kevin replies that he never worked in a funeral home and asks "slick" how he can help him. Jay tells him that Kay is a former agent of a top-secret organization that monitors extraterrestrials on Earth; they are the Men in Black, have a situation, and need his help. Kevin tells him to go to the free mental health clinic. Kevin calls the next customer, a girl (Chloe Sonnenfeld) who wants to buy some "Rugrats" stamps. Jay picks up the girl and sets her back in line. He tells Kevin that there was no coma; it was a cover up. Kevin orders him to leave, but Jay calls him Kay again. Kevin walks to the back office and Jay follows him in. Kevin informs the postal employees that they've had a breach, then orders them to cordon off the area and do a full wipe down, and to escort nonessential civilian personnel off the site (acting like he still works at MiB). As Kevin looks on, Jay researches one of the employees on his communicator. Jay speaks to him in an alien language that sounds like beatboxing. The man (Biz Markie responds in the alien language. All the other employees (including one that looks like Howard Stern) stop work to observe the conversation. Kevin looks around in disbelief as the other employees reveal themselves to be aliens too. Jay tells Kevin that the reason why he's so comfortable there is that just about everybody who works in the Post Office is an alien. Jay opens the mail-sorting machine, revealing a eight-armed alien (Jeremy Howard) instead of machinery. (The song "Speed Demon" plays.) Kevin removes the alien's cigarette and tells him, "No smoking." When Kevin gets back up, the alien puts another cigarette in his mouth and continues sorting mail. Jay catches up to Kevin, who is trying unsuccessfully to start his Jeep. Kevin tells him that in Las Vegas he and his wife saw Siegfried and Roy fly a white tiger around a room; Jay's act is nothing special. Jay responds that when Kevin looks up at the stars he feels like he doesn't know who he is, like he knows more about what's going on out there than down here. Jay tells him that it's why his wife left him and Kevin punches Jay in the nose. Jay tells Kevin that if he wants to know who he really is, to come ride with him; otherwise he can give people their TV Guides. Kevin gets in the car and tells Jay that he's just going for a ride; if things don't add up he will leave. Frank asks Kevin, "How's it hanging," but he just stares at the dog.At MiB headquarters, the guard greets Kay, but he doesn't recognize the guard. In the main bay, two men and a flying device greet Kay. Agent Gee (Sid Hillman) is awestruck by Kay, "the legend, the most respected agent in the history of MiB, the most feared human in the universe -- in the flesh." He goes to get coffee for Kay, but runs away before Jay can give him his coffee request. Michael Jackson (Michael Jackson) calls Zed from amongst a flock of penguins in Antarctica. He reports that the Drolocks are gone and the treaty is signed. Zed tells him that it's good work. He asks Zed about the position at MiB that Zed promised him, but Zed replies that they're still working on the alien Affirmative Action program. He tells Zed that he wants to be Agent M, but Zed hangs up. Zed greets Kay and tells him that the Earth might be in trouble and he's the only one who can save it. Kay starts quoting the Post Office motto ("Neither rain nor sleet nor snow..."). Zed tells Jay to get Kay armed, up to speed, and to deneuralization. As Jay and Kay leave, Zed makes Frank stay behind because he needs Jay and Kay together on this assignment. Zed tells Frank that he's looking for a new assistant; although it's not fieldwork, it provides better dental coverage. Frank smiles appreciatively, showing his bad teeth.Jay takes Kay into the tech unit, which holds the most advanced technologies from all over the universe. Kay sees a blue globe on a stand and sticks a finger in the globe. The globe is actually a miniature planet full of tiny aliens, who scream at the finger coming from the sky and run away. Jay hears the screams and tells Kay not to touch it; he quickly removes his finger and says that he didn't do anything. Jay tells Kay to put his hands in his pockets. Jay opens the armory and gives Kay his "favorite weapon": the Noisy Cricket (the same weapon Kay issued Jay in Men in Black). Jay then takes Kay to put on the last suit he'll ever wear -- again.After Kay gets his suit, Jay takes Kay to a room with plain white walls. The deneuralizer hangs from the ceiling over a hole in the middle of the floor. Jay explains its operation to Kay: "In a few moments, transverse magneto energy will surge through your brain, unlocking information hidden deep and dormant that could hold the key to Earths very survival." Kay points to the deneuralizer (which is the only thing in the room) and asks what it is. Jay replies that it's the deneuralizer, then he sighs.At Earth customs, Scrad/Charlie wait while a customs agent (Peter Spruyt) asks for Serleena's name and planet of origin. She replies, "Sylona Gorth. Planet Gorn. Kaluth system." When the agent asks if she has any fruits or vegetables, she motions to Scrad/Charlie and replies, "Yeah, two heads of cabbage." The agent asks for her reason of visit, and she replies that it's for education, that she wants to learn how to be an underwear model. She unzips her vest and flashes her bra at the agent. Scrad/Charlie faint; Charlie recovers and yells for help, then attempts CPR on Scrad. Other MiB agents, who were watching Martha Stewart (Martha Stewart) on the big screen TV, run over to help. Serleena shoots her tentacles out and snares the agent who was waiting on her. The alarm sounds and a female voice announces "Lockdown. Code 101." on the P.A. system. When Frank hears the alarm he hides behind the tentacles of the dead Tricrainasloph, which has been stuffed into a corner. Serleena subdues the rest of the MiB agents with her tentacles.Jay hears the alarm and tells Kay that there is a breach, and that they're being firewalled and flushed. He helps Kay out of the deneuralizer before it starts. Jay tells Kay that being flushed is like going to a water park, but Kay doesn't know if he ever went to one. There is a loud flushing noise, then blue liquid floods the room. The overhead view shows that the room is shaped like a giant toilet bowl, complete with a seat (and the deneuralizer has retracted). The water swirls through the drain hole, taking Kay and Jay with it. They shoot through clear tubes and end up in two metal capsules in Times Square. The capsule doors open and the water pours out. Jay jokes with Kay, telling him that when Kay was an agent he loved to be flushed. He tells Kay not quit on him. Kay responds with, "I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars."Jay brings his car to the curb with the remote. He presses a button on the remote, and the automatic pilot gets sucked into the steering wheel. Kay asks if it's standard, and Jay replies that it came with a Black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.Serleena has stuffed the MiB agents in some offices, subdued by her writhing tentacles. As she walks away, she remarks that she could rule this silly little planet with the right set of mammary glands. While driving, Kay brings up MiB surveillance on the computer, which shows that MiB is deserted -- lockdown. He calls Frank on the communicator. Frank tells Jay that some "hot-looking biker chick" did it. Jay tells Frank to stay where he is, and that he'll keep in touch. Serleena asks Scrad/Charlie if they found Kay. They reply that he's a civilian; he was here to be deneuralized because his memory was erased, but he's gone. They assure Serleena that they will find Kay.Kay finds an old photo of himself in his coat pocket and shows it to Jay. It's the left half of a picture that was cut off, and Kay is smiling and pointing to his right. They both wonder what is means. Kay asks Jay if there is another deneuralizer besides the one at MiB. Jay replies that it's the only official one; the plans leaked out on the Internet a few years ago. Jay finds one for sale on eBay by Jack Jeebs (whom they went to in Men in Black).Jay and Kay arrive at Jeebs' pawnshop at night. Jeebs (Tony Shalhoub) greets Jay enthusiastically but is surprised to see Kay, because he thought Kay was retired. Jay tells Jeebs that they need the deneuralizer, but he looks at Kay and asks if Kay remembers him. Kay replies that he doesn't, that he's pretty good with faces, and would remember that (pointing to Jeebs nose). Jeebs laughs because Kay is "a neutral." Kay tells Jeebs that he's in the way of his memories, and asks Jeebs if he has the deneuralizer. Jeebs says that he doesn't have it. After a stare down by Kay and Jay, Jeebs remarks that even if he did have it, Jay would blow his head off if it doesn't work and Kay dies, and Kay would blow his head if it works. Jay holds a fission carbonizer to Jeebs' head, so he takes them downstairs to the deneuralizer.Serleena has released MiB's alien prisoners, "the scum of the universe", to help her get Kay: a guy with a funny chin and wearing a scarf; a White guy; a bald guy with pointy ears, a misshapen nose, and tendrils on his face; and a Black Guy. She tells them that she needs the Light of Zartha and Kay knows where it is; whoever brings Kay to her gets Earth. She tells Scrad/Charlie to find a deneuralizer because Kay needs it to get his memories back. She then greets Jarra (John Alexander), a very tall alien, who glides forward to meet her.Kay is seated and strapped down in the deneuralizer and Jeebs is giving him safety instructions. Jeebs sticks a tube in Kay's mouth. Jeebs delays by asking Kay irrelevant questions, but Jay shouts at him so he starts the deneuralizer (with an outboard motor). Jeebs tells Jay that he only used the deneuralizer once, to make hot air popcorn with the exhaust. Clamps come down against Kay's head. A strobe light flashes in Kay's face and a large fan spins above the chair, then the chair shakes. Jeebs presses a key on the keyboard, then some eggbeaters spin and a bowling ball goes down a ramp around the deneuralizer chair. A alarm sounds and flashes, then the deneuralizer stops, then all the power there and in New York City goes out. After a few seconds, the power comes back on and the deneuralizer starts back up. The chair shakes violently then tilts back, then ejects Kay gasping (with the seat back) onto the floor. Jay and Jeebs lean over Kay to check on him, and then Kay blows off Jeebs' head with the Noisy Cricket. Jay thinks that Kay is "back", but he says that he's not. Jay asks him how he knew that Jeebs' head would grow back, but he didn't know that it would. As his head grows back, Jeebs says that it's the last time he helps out a friend. Jay asks Kay if he remembers anything, but he just says goodbye. As Kay rushes up the stairs, Jeebs tells him that that he never got the updated software for the deneuralizer, and that Kay's brain needs to reboot.Jeebs apologizes to Jay, and hopes that it doesn't affect their friendship, "all those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another." Immediately afterwards, Serleena's henchmen break through the walls, and Jeebs directs them to Jay. They shoot at Jay then ask for Kay, but Jay shoots Jeebs' head then tells them that Kay retired and he's his replacement. The alien with face tendrils jumps through the ceiling and they subdue Jay, throwing him to the floor. Scrad asks Jay where Kay is, but Jay feigns ignorance. The White alien grabs Jay but Jay punches his face, knocking the mask off. The alien looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon with a lumpy face & head (Corn Face) (Michael Garvey). Jay tells him that he looks like crap, then another alien laughs (the one that looks like a dog with a poop-covered head) (Dog Poop) (Sonny Tipton). Jay corrects himself, saying that that the other alien looks like crap. The Black alien orders that they "bend him." Corn Face picks up Jay over his head and starts "bending" him. Kay walks outside and looks around. He sees: the two lighted guys on the tandem bike; a homeless man pushing a shopping cart, with a crab-like creature with lights for eyes peeking out from under a blanket; two hookers dressed for Halloween; and a USPS mail carrier with a tail hanging out from his shorts. Kay then sees a cockroach crawling on the ground and goes to step on it, but he changes his mind. The roach thanks him. Kay looks up at the stars for a while, and then finally smiles. Corn Face is still "bending" Jay. Scrad tells the thugs that he thinks Jay is telling the truth, so Corn Face says that he's no good to them. Kay comes in and shoots Dog Poop and Corn Face. He defeats the other thugs using Jay's advice on their weaknesses. The Black guy is Pineal Eye (Kevin Grevioux); Kay removes the hat and pokes his eye. The alien with tendrils on his face is Mosh Tendrils (Derek Mears); Kay pulls his tendrils and slingshots him into the ceiling. When Kay kicks the last thug between the legs, it makes a metallic clank. Jay tells Kay that he's a Ball-Chinnean (Michael Dahlen); Kay pulls down his scarf, revealing testicles, and kicks them, knocking him out. Kay has his memory back and is Jay's partner again. Jay asks Kay what's going on, and what is the Light of Zartha, but Kay doesn't know.Outside, Jay asks Kay why he doesn't remember what the Light of Zartha is. He replies that he must have neuralized himself to keep the information from himself. Kay goes to the driver's side of Jay's car, telling Jay that he always does the driving. Pointing to Kay and himself, Jay replies that Kay and his car are old and busted, and Jay and his car are new hotness. Kay stares at Jay until he gives him the remote.At MiB, Serleena is holding Zed in the air with her tentacles. She releases her tentacles and he falls to the floor, then she kicks him. She tells him that they both need the same thing, and then she kicks him again, knocking him into his chair. She shoves Zed's cell phone to him, but he refuses to bring Kay in. She reminds him that the Light will self-destruct if it's not off the Earth by midnight, annihilating the planet. She tells him that they can both lose or both win, because he doesn't want the Light on Earth any more than she does. Zed dials his phone and hands it to her, telling her that she wins. Michael Jackson answers, still asking Zed if he could be Agent M. Zed knocks Serleena over the head with his lamp then jumps and flips over her. He kicks her in the face several times, but nothing fazes her. She knocks him to the floor with a tentacle, then kicks him in the face and knocks him out. She then notices a tentacle of the dead Tricrainasloph move.Jay tells Kay what the fastest way to MiB is but he passes it. Jay tells him that they need to go to MiB because headquarters has been breached; they have to "bust in there, and peel some caps, and split some wigs up in that joint." Kay replies that he's not ready. Jay says that Kay's been gone for five years, which is a long time in this game; he understands if Kay is scared, because he is too. Kay replies that he's not scared, so Jay says that neither is he; he thought they were bonding. Kay tells him that after five years, he's still acting like a rookie by talking about splitting wigs and stepping on caps; it's no wonder Zed brought him back. Jay counters that Zed brought Kay back because he messed up. Kay says that Jay's attitude is creating a very stressful work environment. Jay says that MiB has a stressful work environment. Kay says that Serleena thinks that Kay knows where the Light is, so she broke into MiB to lure him back. Jay adds that it's a trap -- which is why they shouldn't bust into MiB. They go to the "scene of the crime": Famous Ben's pizza.Jay tells Kay that he's going to talk to the witness. Kay wonders why he didn't neuralize her, according to MiB procedures, which he quotes. Laura swings a pizza tray at Kay, but he ducks and she hits Jay's face instead. Jay introduces Kay to her. She thanks Jay for sending some agents to watch her last night. Kay rebukes Jay again, quoting MiB procedures. Jay talks about the crime, then Kay notices a photo of Ben holding a large fish. The clouds over the fish were removed, as if done by Photoshop. Jay takes Kay's picture and places it over the photo, matching it perfectly. Jay notices that Kay left himself clues. Kay is pointing at something, so Jay puts his head against the wall (bumping a green key & key ring hanging on the wall), and follows the direction across the room. Kay sees the key and sighs, and tries to stop Jay. Jay reaches a photo on the wall of an astronaut pointing, and repeats his procedure. Kay just shakes his head in disappointment. Jay reaches some pizza boxes stacked on their corners, and wonders who would stack pizza boxes like that. He deduces that the stacker was leaving clues, and that the pizza slice is an arrow. The camera zooms in on the photo then on the key, which is labeled "GCT". Kay again tries to stop Jay, but he says that Kay is slowing him down. Jay finally reaches a steel cabinet and takes out a can of anchovy fillets in virgin olive oil. Kay shakes the key and tells Jay that he hopes he's not slowing Jay down. Kay pulls out his deneuralizer but Jay stops him, saying that Laura could be important to him -- to them, and could help them later. Kay puts away his deneuralizer but says that she can't stay there because they (the aliens) will be back, then he walks out. Jay takes her to stay with some of his "friends".Jay takes Laura to the Worms' place, a large suite with a low ceiling, and he bumps his head. Jay tells them that MiB is Code 101, and introduces Laura. He stops their catcalls and apologizes for them, but Laura replies that she's dated worse. Jay tells her that the Worms are under suspension right now for stealing from the duty-free shop. Kay comes in and reminds Jay that the car is double-parked. Jay tells the Worms that Laura is very important to him, then adds to them (Jay and Kay), to the stuff they're doing. Kay then leaves. Jay asks them to watch Laura. They are very enthusiastic about it. Jay hands her his communicator in case she needs it and she kisses him. All the worms "wooo" and laugh. Jay tells her to watch out for Neeble, but has to ask them which one is Neeble; the Worm in the jacuzzi (voiced by Thom Fountain) answers. Jay tells her that it's safe but not to fall asleep, then leaves. The worms start a game of Twister, and Laura smiles.Jay catches up to Kay and reviews Kay's plan because it confuses him: since Kay neuralized himself and erased his memory of the Light of Zartha, he left himself clues; the photo from an old suit points to a key in a pizzeria; the key opens a locker at Grand Central Terminal, which will give them another clue. Kay replies that it's right, because he likes to keep his enemies confused. Jay says that they're all confused.At Grand Central Terminal, Kay tells Jay not to slow him down, and then sends him to get them coffee while he opens the locker. Jay becomes indignant, but Kay says that he doesn't know what's in there and Jay could get hurt. Kay opens the locker, revealing hundreds of tiny aliens in a tiny town. The town is full of discarded ordinary items from Earth, plus miniature buildings from a department store. The aliens hail Kay, and then start to sing the Star Spangle Banner, with Kay's name inserted. Kay asks them if he left anything there. They say that he did: the timekeeper (Kay's watch) -- to illuminate their streets and their hearts. Kay takes back his watch from the clock tower and puts it on, and they panic. Jay takes off his watch and puts it on the clock tower, so they now hail Jay. Kay starts to close the locker, but they tell him that he forgot the commandments on the tablet. They chant, "The tablet! The tablet!" The mayor (Peter Siragusa), an alien that looks like Moses, says that they have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout their world; pass it onto others, that they too may be enlightened. The others chant: "Be kind. Rewind." Kay takes the "tablet", which is a business card from Tapeworm Video Store. The mayor tells Kay to go back and reconcile his past so that he can move tranquilly into his future. The others chant "Two for one, every Wednesday", then "Large adult entertainment section in the back." All the aliens then turn around and laugh and rush into a XXX "fun zone". Jay says that it's just nasty, and closes the locker. Jay asks Kay what the video card is for, but he doesn't know. Jay then asks Kay what the watch is for. Kay replies that it's to remind him that they have until midnight, which according to his watch is less than an hour away.Kay and Jay arrive at Tapeworm Video. Jay wants to stop chasing ridiculous clues. He wants to get a couple of fission carbonizers and take back headquarters, but Kay tells him that it's all about to make sense. He gives his card to the clerk (Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine), but she says that it hasn't been used in years, before she was born. Kay tells her that he's been away on business. Jay adds, "billions of frequent flier miles." The clerk says that it's hard to use them, and then rambles on about wanting to go to Cambodia, how you can get a lobster dinner for a dollar. Kay stops her, so she tells him that he never checked out a video, but reserved one and didn't pick it up. She calls her boyfriend Newton (David Cross), the manager, who comes back from the bathroom. He's paranoid about aliens. He tells Kay that he reserved "Episode 27: Light of Zartha", and tells Kay that they've got it.At MiB HQ, Serleena asks Jarra why he was locked up. He replies that Agent Jay caught him siphoning the Earth's ozone to sell it on the black market. She tells him that she needs a spacecraft that can go 300 times the speed of light. He tells her to give him Jay and it will be even. She agrees and gives him until midnight, and then he glides away. Serleena calls Gatbot, which looks like a steel cylindrical trash can, for a special job.Newton takes Kay and Jay upstairs to his bedroom, which he has devoted to aliens. He lives with his mother. Newton's girlfriend tells him that she wants to have his baby. His mother yells to him offering him mini pizza, and he offers some to Kay and Jay. They just stare at him. Newton yells back that they don't want any, then gets the videotape. Jay is relieved that they finally have some hard evidence. Newton starts rambling about aliens and anal probing, but Jay prods him to play the tape.As the video plays, Jay remarks that it looks like Spielberg's work. Newton starts saying the words along with the video, but Kay and Jay stare at him so he stops. When the video talks about the Keeper of the Light, Kay says softly," Lauranna," and Jay looks at him. Kay also says, "No. It was night... and it was raining."The scene changes to a black-and-white flashback of the way it actually happened. Serleena tells Kay, "You've been very wise." Ambassador Lauranna (Linda Kim) says, "Kay, please, if Serleena gets the light, it's the end of our world." Kay replies, "Madame Ambassador, if we extend the protection of the light beyond the Earth, we put the Earth itself in jeopardy. We have no choice. We must remain neutral." Serleena asks, "Where is it?" Kay replies, "We're neutral, remember? You want it, go get it." He uses his watch to launch a spaceship. Serleena shouts "No!" She shoots Lauranna, killing her, and then chases after the spaceship with her own spaceship. Kay bends over Lauranna, and then opens his hand to reveal a bracelet.Back in the present, Kay is crying silently as the video finishes: "And so, never knowing it happened, the people of Earth were once again saved by a secret society of protectors..." Kay turns off the video and says that he "shouldn't have." Jay deduces correctly that they didn't send the Light off the planet and hid it on Earth. Kay says, "The Worm Guys," and goes downstairs; he neuralizes Newton's mother. Newton recognizes the neuralizer just before Jay neuralizes Newton and his girlfriend. Jay tells Newton to get contacts instead of his glasses, then to take his girlfriend to Cambodia for a lobster dinner (and to pay more than a dollar); when he gets back from Cambodia he should move out his mom's house. Jay finishes with saying that there are no such things as aliens or Men in Black. Newton takes off his glasses and asks his girlfriend if she wants to go to Cambodia, and she agrees. Newton picks up a shovel as they go downstairs and he calls his mother.While Kay drives, Jay calls Laura on his communicator. She tells him that they (she and the worms) are playing Twister. Jay asks her if she's wearing a bracelet. She replies that she is. Kay asks her if it's glowing, and she replies that it never did that before. (The bracelet is the same one that Kay held in the flashback; the triangle shape on it is glowing now.) Jay tells her that they're on the way. Jay calls Frank and tells him to deactivate the lockdown because they're on the way to the worm guys and they found the Light. Frank is tied up and Serleena acknowledges in Frank's voice. Serleena leaves Frank and calls for Scrad. Frank mumbles, "Bitch."Kay asks Jay why he didn't tell Laura that he loved her. Kay knows that Jay is in love with her, which is why he didn't neuralize her; he got emotionally involved. Jay retorts that Kay did the same with Lauranna. Kay tells Jay that he (Kay) put Earth in danger because he got involved, and doesn't want to see Jay make his mistakes.Kay and Jay arrive at the Worm Guys' place; it's wrecked and the Worms are seriously injured. Jay asks them where Laura is. They reply that some dumb two-headed guy took her to MiB headquarters. Kay says that they (Serleena and the others) have the bracelet, and that there's only 39 minutes left, so Kay and Jay leave. The Worm Guys chase after them. Jay asks Kay why she took Laura if she has the bracelet. Kay replies that she also wants him (Kay). They go get some "wig-splitting" weapons.A man, his wife, and their daughter are watching Martha Stewart on TV. Kay and Jay barge into their apartment. Kay tells them that he used to live there and came to pick up a few things, then moves the thermostat control left and right and left quickly. The back wall of the living room slides up, revealing walls and cabinets full of weapons. Mannix the Worm (voiced by Brad Abrell) remarks that it's a nice place. The Worm Guys, Jay, and Kay get some weapons. Kay closes the back wall with the thermostat then Jay neuralizes the family.Inside MiB headquarters, Jarra has completed constructing a spaceship; pieces of rockets and machinery litter the room. Laura is in the spaceship. A female voice announces on the P.A. that there's 4 minutes to launch. Jarra informs Serleena that her ship is ready, so she tells him to send it to Kyloth now.Outside MiB headquarters, Jay aims his weapon to shoot a hole in the building, but Kay tries to stop him. Jay fires anyway, and they get sucked in and lose their weapons. Kay rebukes Jay for shooting MiB because it's in Code 101 lockdown. A hot dog stand gets sucked in too, and the umbrella plugs up the hole. The guard calmly picks a hot dog off his suit and says that it's about time they got there, because "that pretty lady in there is causing all kinds of hell." He resumes reading The Weekly World News.The elevator opens to the MiB main bay, and Gatbot opens up, extending its rotary machine guns. It shoots the elevator full of holes, but Kay, Jay, and the Worms are hiding against the ceiling. Kay tells Jay to get to the launch pad on the roof; the bracelet shows the departure point. He also orders Jay not to come back for him. Kay hangs down and gives cover fire against Gatbot with his blasters while Jay runs to the other elevator, which leads to the roof. Kay then sends the worms through the elevator ceiling to shut off the power to the launch pad so that the spaceship can't take off. Gatbot enters the elevator and Kay throws a grenade down, and then jumps out of the elevator before the doors close and the grenade explodes. Serleena is waiting for him, and captures him with her tentacles.Jay reaches the spaceship, but Jarra blocks his way. Jarra has been locked up for 5 years and 42 days. Jarra drops his cloak to reveal that he's made up of four parts: one large flying ship and three smaller flying ships -- all with his head and torso, and metal tentacles hanging down. One of the smaller Jarras takes away Jay's blaster.Kay tells Serleena that he should have vaporized her when he had the chance. She remarks that he really loved Lauranna. She calls him a silly little man and sticks her tentacle tongue into his ear.Jay tries unsuccessfully to reach the larger Jarra because of the smaller ones. A female voice announces on the P.A. that there's two minutes to launch. Laura tells Jay to go and that she'll be fine, but Jay replies that he's winning. He tells Jarra that he's arresting him for being that ugly and making copies of himself. Jay picks up a scrap pipe and bats away one of the small Jarras, knocking it against a wall and destroying it. Another small Jarra takes Jay away and drops him, but he lands safely on some large clear tubing.The Worm Guys -- Mannix, Neeble, Sleeble (voiced by Greg Ballora), and Gleeble (voiced by Carl J. Johnson) -- walk down a passageway. They forgot Kay's instructions on where to shut off the power.Jay and the large Jarra charge at each other and collide, then Jarra takes Jay around the room. Jay punches a small Jarra and it hits a machine and gets destroyed. Jay covers large Jarra's eyes, then grabs the control lever, then large Jarra crashes into the remaining small Jarra, destroying them both. Jay jumps away in time and lands on the tubing. As Jay struggles to get off the tubing, a female voice announces on the P.A. that there's 30 seconds to launch. Jay finally gets off the tubing then turns off the countdown before it reaches zero. He releases Laura and tells her that he didn't leave her because he never runs out on a fight.Serleena has Kay in the air. She calls Kay an insignificant speck and tells him that he lost. She says that he wasted 25 years of her time for the complete and total annihilation of Zartha, because he went mushy. Kay tells her that she has one last chance to surrender. Serleena asks him how he can stop her, but Kay says that it's not him. Jay shoots her with a large weapon, telling her that her flight has been cancelled, and vaporizing her. Kay falls to the floor.Mannix lands in the control room and presses a random button, turning off all the power in MiB. Kay brings the car over with the remote. Jay tells Laura to give him the bracelet. She tells him that she's going with them, and Kay tells him that she should get in the car too. They drive away, revealing that Serleena was only stunned. The tiny creature sends out tentacles again.As they drive, Laura remarks that it's hard to believe that everyone is after her charm bracelet. Jay replies that she would be surprised how often it's something small like that. Kay tells him them that it's not the Light -- it shows the departure point; if they don't reach the departure point in 11 minutes & 15 seconds the bracelet will go nuclear and destroy all life on Earth. Suddenly Serleena rams the back of the car with her spaceship. Jay tries to stop him, but Kay presses the red button on the shift lever. The car transforms into a flying rocket car, slamming them against the seats. They fly through Times Square with Serleena chasing them. Jay tells Kay that the car is modified to hyper speed. Kay tells them to put on their seatbelts, but they don't. A handle-type steering wheel (with controls similar to that of a game console) comes out of the dash and Jay tells Kay that it's the navigational stalk; he has to use it during hyper speed. Kay grabs the navigational stalk and sends the car upside down; Jay and Laura didn't put on their seatbelts and fall to the ceiling. Serleena shoots the car several times as they fly over New York Harbor. Jay tells Kay how to use the controls and he rights the car; Laura and Jay fall onto the back seat. Jay climbs back into his seat and calls the worms at MiB. Frank and the Worm Guys are drinking martinis and smoking cigars, and Frank is telling them about one of his "chicks". Jay tells Frank to use the computer to lock onto Serleenas ship and destroy it. Serleena shoots the car, breaking the communication. Frank says that Jay was the best damn partner a Remoolian could ever have. Kay activates the automatic pilot, which pops up in front of him, but it doesn't work. Jay tells him that it doesn't operate at hyper speed and retracts the automatic pilot. Kay replies that he's used to a steering wheel, but Jay says that it's all they have. Jay asks Kay if his mother ever gave him a Game Boy, buy Kay asks what that is. Jay and Kay switch seats in mid flight. They fly into the subway with Serleena still shooting at them and she calls them idiots. Kay tells Jay that the subway is not the best place to lose her, but Jay shushes him and wonders where Jeff is. Kay asks who Jay is talking about and they see Jeff straight ahead. Jay lands the car at the last second and Serleena flies into Jeffs open mouth, who then chews and swallows her spaceship. The automatic pilot pops up in front of Jay.They land on the rooftop of a tall building. The car transforms back to normal and they get out. Jay tells Kay that they're running out of time and asks him where the Light is, and Kay says that Laura is the Light. Laura is incredulous. Kay tells her that she has a planet to save, but she replies that he has her confused with somebody else; she works part-time at a pizzeria. Kay tells her that two days ago he was running a post office in Truro, Massachusetts; you are who you are. While Kay explains Laura's purpose on Earth, Jay sees the triangular-shaped skylight, which matches the triangle shape on Laura's bracelet, and then pulls out the napkin from Famous Ben's Pizza. Kay is telling Laura that she is the Light; she's the leader of her people, their spirit and their hope; the power is within her to save the planet; "I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now. You were hidden on Earth 25 years ago to..." Jay looks at the Statue of Liberty then looks up and sees the star. "Kay continues: You are going to save a world. You know things before they happen." She replies that she can't; she's a Libra. Kay tells her that she is a Zarthan; when she gets sad it always seems to rain. She replies that lots of people get sad when it rains. Kay tells her that it rains because she's sad. The "star" emits a bright beam of light onto a large egg-shaped object on the roof, transforming it into a transport pod, and it opens up. Jay leans against the car dejectedly, and then he and Laura look sadly at each other. Even though they realize it's not fair, Jay and Laura accept her destiny. Suddenly Jeff bursts through the skylight, roaring and baring his teeth. Jay shouts at Jeff, saying that he's not in the mood for him, and orders him to get back in the subway. Jeff bursts apart, revealing a giant serpent: Serleena. As Kay takes Laura to the transport pod, Serleena shoots out tentacles toward Laura. Jay jumps in front of Laura, so the tentacles get him instead. Jay shouts at Laura that she has to go. Kay shoots at Serleena with his blaster and assures Laura that Jay is fine and does this all the time. As Jay struggles with the tentacles, he shouts at Laura that it's her destiny. Kay shoots at Serleena then tells Laura that if she doesn't go they will all die. He shoots at Serleena again without looking, and then tells Laura that she's just as beautiful as her mother. Laura gets into the transport pod and it closes. Kay shoots many times at Serleena and it finally retracts, releasing Jay. It rains in the transport pod as it takes her into the sky to the "star". Serleena flies after Laura, a giant face visible in the front of the tentacles, so Jay and Kay take two large weapons from the car's trunk. Kay thanks Jay for bringing him back. Jay asks Kay why he didn't tell him about Laura. Kay rhetorically asks if Jay would have let her go. They shoot at Serleena, hitting her/it just before she/it reaches the transport pod. Serleena explodes over the Statue of Liberty, creating a giant fireworks display lasting several seconds. Jay asks Kay what it's like on the outside, "you know, not doing this every day?" Kay answers, "It's nice. Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the weather channel." Kay sighs and says that he missed this city. The transport pod has disappeared into the "star" and the bright light fades. Jay asks Kay that if Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter, did they...? (Jay surmises that Kay is Laura's father.) Kay ignores him and tells him that they have to go because MiB is a mess. They put the weapons back in the trunk. As they walk to the elevator, Jay asks Kay how they can go because thousands of people in New York and New Jersey just saw this event; they need a cool thought out plan. Kay puts on his sunglasses, prompting Jay to put on his. Kay presses a button on his watch, and then the torch on the Statue of Liberty buzzes and flashes: a giant neuralizer. Kay tells Jay that he'll get him trained yet. Jay gets jealous of Kay's watch.Back at MiB in the locker room, Kay sits down next to Jay, who is getting dressed. Kay tells Jay that they've all been there; the girl is gone and it hurts. He asks Jay if he wants to talk about it, because he can help. Jay replies, "No." Zed sits down opposite them and thinks that Jay is still sulking, but Jay says that he's not. Zed says that Jay misses her; it happens to all of them. Zed then starts talking about how he and his girlfriend were entwined in positions from the Kama Sutra, which grosses out Jay so he makes Zed stop. Frank comes in from the shower and tells Jay about "dames", about what they really want. Frank shakes off, forcing the others to stand. Frank asks Jay if he's "still sitting shiva." Jay tells Frank "No advice"; he tells Kay "No talking"; he tells Zed "Hell no." Jay swears that he's fine. He opens his locker; the tiny aliens are in it with their town, and they hail him; he quickly closes his locker. Kay tells Jay that he brought them over from Grand Central Terminal and put them in Jay's locker because he thought it would put things in perspective for Jay. Jay tells Kay that they need to let the aliens out of his locker so they will know that the world is a bigger place than that. Kay takes him to a black door marked: "DANGER! NO EXIT. DO NOT OPEN. NOT AN EXIT! UNAUTHORIZED USE WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE REVOCATION OF ALL M.I.B. ACCESS CLEARANCES. IN CASE OF EXTREME EMERGENCY DO NOT OPEN". Kay sighs and tells Jay that he's still a rookie. Kay kicks the door open, revealing to Jay and Frank a giant room full of aliens; their door is actually a door to a locker that contains Earth, among hundreds of lockers at an alien type of Grand Central Terminal.Will Smith sings "Black Suits Comin' (Nod Ya Head)" during the closing credits.Synopsis written by Mu_Ve_Watchr_89.

Review: In 1997, the original `Men in Black' struck a nerve with movie audiences by showing that even a big budget blockbuster, heavily loaded down with state-of-the-art, computer-generated special effects, could still manage to seem light on its feet.
The makers of that film pulled off this feat of gravitational legerdemain by coming up with a concept and a script overflowing with creativity, wit, imagination and a cachet of `hipness' to go along with its tone of anarchic playfulness.Well, five years have passed and we now have `Men in Black II' to confirm what most of us suspected all along:  that works that rely on `uniqueness' as their prime selling point are rarely ever able to duplicate their success a second time around.
Without that aura of cutting edge newness that defined the original, `Men in Black II' seems like just another loud, over-the-top summertime blockbuster.Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back playing Jay and Kay, agents for the government's top secret organization whose job it is to monitor the activities of the thousands of aliens who have secretly infiltrated earth's societies and to help protect the planet from any possible threat from interstellar space.
Smith and Jones still appear to be quite comfortable in their roles and they are aided by Lara Flynn Boyle, as Serleena, the baddest alien this side of Darth Vader, and Rip Torn, delightful as Zed, the slightly cracked head of the Men in Black agency.Although the special effects in this film are, as one would expect in this day and age, astonishing and virtually seamless, the same can definitely NOT be said for the film's screenplay.
Let me just start by saying that I normally like movies with Tommy Lee Jones and / or Will Smith in them.
But I'm afraid that's about the best thing I can say about them right now, because what they did in this movie was nothing but a hasty 'grab-as-much-money-as-you-can' job and I really don't like to see that."Men in Black II" starts four years later from where the first one ended.
It doesn't seem to have a lot to differentiate it from the first one, with the result that it's just not that interesting.Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones reprise their roles as Agents "Jay" and "Kay" respectively, and here was one element of the story that might have made this a fun adventure if it had been developed.
Men in Black II (2002)* 1/2 (out of 4) Boring and bland sequel has Earth coming under attack from a dangerous alien (Lara Flynn Boyle) so Agent Jay (Will Smith) must bring Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones) out of retirement.
MEN IN BLACK II even features some very poor CGI effects and in the end this is just a rather worthless movie that isn't worth the trouble..
It practically repeats the formula of the first film: Aliens are out again, J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back as partners to fight against it and the whole lot.
Although most innovations are of special effects, MIIB provides some new fun moments in a somewhat formula approach.Like said, MIIB returns Smith and Jones as the dynamic duo out to stop an alien, a creature called the Kylothian, who takes the form of a lingerie model (Lara Flynn Boyle), who, guess what?
The expected result is that, like the two Austin Powers sequels, what we have here is little more than an extension of the same jokes that we saw in the original film.The entire cast has come back, of course, since this is guaranteed to be a hugely popular film (although at the same time guaranteed to be an artistic failure), and we also see a few more introductions to the cast of actors and artists with flailing careers like Lara Flynn Boyle and even Michael Jackson, who embarrasses himself in the film by playing the part of someone desperately trying to secure himself a position as one of the Men In Black (`I can be Agent M!
I thought it was really funny when K blows off Jeebs' head (feeding off of one of the more amusing scenes from the original during J's introduction to the aliens amongst whom he lives), and J asks him how he knew that Jeebs' head would grow back if his memory had not been restored, and K replies, `It grows back?' Not very creative, but certainly amusing.The movie has its strong points, I am not saying that it was a stone-faced bore, but the problem is that it completely feeds off of whatever was successful about the original film.
Things like this and the fact that the movie had nothing new to add to the Men In Black story bring the quality of MIIB way down, leaving it to tag along behind its predecessor like an annoying little sister.
We already know there is going to be a Men In Black III (hey, if they made a second sequel after the ridiculous Austin Powers 2), so we can only hope that the producers and director will take a little more time in deciding how to entertain us and what kinds of life forms to focus on, because this was entirely overlooked in this sequel.
Even the enormously sexy Boyle was not comfortable on her role and therefore unconvincing as an alien villain in disguise (indeed, it was more convincing that the writers were so unconfident in their script that they felt the need to gloss it over with a sexy villain than it was that she was a threat to the MIB), and Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones had little to nothing to work with in their roles.
Aside from Tommie Lee Jones scene-stealing, the best thing that can be said about this film is that it's short enough so that you don't feel you've lost too much of your life watching it, but, seriously, don't waste your time..
Instead, we are treated to 89 minutes of contrived nonsense and an endless parade of references to the original film, in a sequel that truly feels written by committee in a studio-executive's office in order to be as unoffensive and broad as possible.Smith returns as Agent J.
While investigating an alien murder in New York City, J comes to realize that the perpetrator in this case (plant- creature Serleena, portrayed by Lara Flynn Boyle in an over-sexualized performance) has ties to his former partner, "Agent K." (Tommy Lee Jones) J is forced to bring K out of retirement and undo the process that wiped his memories, before they re- team to scour the city searching for clues to stop Serleena's dastardly plans.On paper that may not sound too bad, but in execution, it's pretty dreadful.The acting is far more mixed in this film.
The only silver linings here are the fact that it was able to re-introduce Agent K (though poorly) and the fact that the third film, released 10 years later, was actually pretty darned good and made up for this severe misstep.As it stands, "Men in Black II" gets and underwhelming 4 out of 10.
[3] The characters, new and old, were as full of stuffing as Laura Flynn Boyle's brassiere.Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones' agents should receive a good tongue-lashing for letting them act in this "movie".
With a film as popular as the original "Men in Black", a sequel of some sort was guaranteed, the only question would be when, and whether it would be any good.
Since no new aliens other than the villains are added, and there is little of the Men in Black headquarters expanded on, there isn't even the wonder of new dazzling summer blockbuster special effects or fun alien characters provided by the first film.
Were it not for Lara Flynn Boyle's Serleena, there'd be no laughs or interesting moments in the movie at all."Men in Black II" is just sad.
Last time the villain was a bug, this time it's a plant.The actors seem very bored (Rosario Dawson is the first person I've seen who can be described as a macguffin - she's got absolutely nothing to do in the entire film), the exception being Will Smith (reduced to doing slapstick) who appears to be so desperate to be having a good time that he overacts in the absurd.The editing sucks.
I can't exactly say why, but it's a feeling I couldn't get rid of.There is one scene in the film that perfectly sums up the whole movie - Jones and Smith being flushed down a huge toilet (yes, it's that bad)...
And why the director thought it would be a good idea to focus on the alien sub-characters from the last movie so deeply I have no idea : JarJar proved that less is better, so the worms and the dog could have given us the same courtesy.
It was 3/4 an attempt at a Mel Brooks-style parody of the  original, and 1/4 an earnest sequel; it was impossible to take the result seriously within its own parameters because you were constantly hearing Sonnenberg screaming at you through the shots "this is  a stupid ridiculous piece of  nothing which I'm just doing for the dough." You would think that an actor like Tommy Lee Jones wouldn't put up with it; he shoulda just walked off the set.
Edit out the schtick which doesn't serve the plot and isn't funny and which just takes you out of the movie and reminds you that the director thinks it's all just a stupid joke.There was not a single decent moment in the whole stupid thing.This terrible terrible movie isn't even worth the time it took to tell you how stupid it was - but there's an obligation to try to get you the viewing public to save your precious few dollars...
Before I get started on MIB2 let me just say that I liked the first Men in Black movie (***/****) because it was fun and Smith and Jones had good chemistry together.
The argument from the defender's of this junk is that it's not about the story but it is about entertaining us and making us laugh, the thing is the movie does neither unless you consider asinging dog to be funny which I certainly don't.
Serleena's effects were annoyingly bad.This movie takes forever to get going, and when it does, it feels like more of the same, just regurgitated.When I'm done here, I'm going to go put a review down for the original, which I've seen many times, and will give an 8 out of 10 to.
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones don't care if the movie is good or not, they can get off on the fact that the first film was something we had never seen before.
Not funny enough to be a comedy, not realistic enough to be a drama, not interesting enough to be a fantasy, Men In Black just may possibly be the worst movie I've seen in the last year.
While not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, the original "Men in Black" was a lighthearted, entertaining vehicle smoothly carried by the repartee between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.
Well.....1 - It is extremely entertaining and just an hour-and-half long; 2 - It has a much softer edge to it with more humor than the original; 3 - the special effects with the variety of little aliens are excellent; 4 - it's easier on the profanity than the first film, making this more kid-friendly; 5 - at 90 minutes the length of the movie is just right.Yes, the story can be stupid at times, but so was the first one, and the good qualities listed above far outweigh that negative.
Tommy Lee Jones is fun to watch again and Will Smith isn't as arrogant as he was in the first movie.This is a no-brainer played strictly for laughs and it succeeds beautifully in that regard..
On one of the coolest looking sequels ever, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones find themselves back in action as secret agents J and K, protecting the Earth from the scum of the Universe.
The movie is very simply and quite frankly it doesn't always make sense especially the horrible ending which I hate with a passion.However just like the first movie this one is also fun and has some good moments but unlike "Men in Black" it also has some very bad and unfunny moments.
This follow up to MIB has a familiar feel to it right from the off, and Jay (Will Smith) must find Kay (Tommy Lee Jones) and refresh his memory before the renegade Kylothian monster disguised as a supermodel (Lara-Flynn Boyle) wipes out the human race.There's plenty of familiar characters and also a few new ones, although the new ones aren't quite good enough to fill the void left by the characters who have been omitted (mainly the original bad guy) although Boyle is definitely sexier lol.Once again the special effects are outstanding and the pairing of Smith and Jones works like a charm.OK it's not quite as funny as the first film and at times it does feel a bit re-created, but it's not at all bad, and it still has the required elements to entertain.6/10.
I Have Literally seen this movie 15 times , never gets out of style or old , because it's timeless , eternal , perfect cast ,you could tell when watchin' it that the actors were havin' fun , and not just in it for the payment .It gets to you , and makes always smile and laugh, ended perfectly with the kick of the door .And Will Smith does it again with a great song for his movies , he really proves something with his music that he doesn't have to talk bad about anybody ,  be vial , or anything like that to sell records.
Barry Sonnenfeld, Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith return for the inevitable (money wise anyway) sequel to the 1997 hit, and it unfortunately falls flat all too many times to be ignored.
The film does contain impressive visual effects, such as the entire civilization in K's locker, or the worms and other aliens, and there is some fun in starting the film with K (Jones) working as a postmaster, and in having Johnny Knoxville with two heads, but it's overall dumbed down and Smith offers mostly lukewarm or generic jokes (ie on the car K and J go into after they get flushed into times square- actually, it came with a black dude, but he kept on getting pulled over).
I liked Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith as the Men in Black dudes.
While 'Men In Black II (2002)' will probably give you a couple of giggles and relies on the two same charismatic lead performances as the first, it is, essentially, just more of the same and is all the worse for it, a bland sequel that spends a lot of its run-time going back on its predecessor's pretty much pitch-perfect but sort of definitive ending.
Continuing my plan to watch every Will Smith movie in order, I come to Men In Black 2Plot In A Paragraph: Agent J (Will Smith) needs help so he is sent to find Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) and restore his memory.After two great performances, it's disappointing seeing Will Smith back to just playing himself.
I'm gonna say to that person, " I know Will Smith seemed like a good idea at the time, but now the guy kinda creeps me out, stop casting him in movies.".
MEN IN BLACK II came out a full five years after the first movie; it was plenty of time to develop a script that would do the franchise justice and keep the audience excited for further adventures with the MiB.
He was a funny little scene in the first movie and now he's joined the MiB, partnered up with Agent J, and singing Ba-Ha Men becausewait for ithe's a dog.
On that same note, the "worm guys" who were good for a laugh when introducing Agent J to aliens on Earth in the first movie are now back with quadruple the screen time.
Asmy good friend Jay pointed out, Tommy Lee Jones looks like he iscalculating how much money he is making for this film andwonder whether its worth it.
Lara Flynn Boyle is the new alien bent on destruction thistime around but the plot makes little to no sense (granted, theseare high concept movies to begin with but there should at least bea modicum of thought put into even a bubble gum film).
Men In Black II does nothing to make me want to watch it other than the chance to participate in a fun game of counting up how many different things Will Smith refers to as "joints" in the movie.
I loved the first one and was please to see the original Men in Black back in the movie.
Will Smith plays the exact same character from all of his movies, the Fresh Prince, with a dog as a partner this time around (Tommy Lee Jones comes in later after Will finally realizes he can't carry a film even if his life depended on it), and we get to see the powers of the Miracle Bra. Am I supposed to be entertained by this?
Great for a Men in Black sequel flick and expands the first movie's universe.
The script, this time, its signed by Robert Gordon.Like many sequels, this one failed to keep the original movie level.
Men In Black II is a good movie with a reasonably well developed plot and a great cast.
That's the disappointing part, however, the good part is that most of original elements are kept the same with some different features.Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back as the Men in Black, well at least they both are when half of the film is over.