Heartbeeps
Tags: romantic

Plot synopsis:
Val Com 17485 (Andy Kaufman), a robot designed to be a valet with a specialty in lumber commodities, meets Aqua Com 89045 (Bernadette Peters), a hostess companion robot whose primary function is to assist at poolside parties. At a factory awaiting repairs, they fall in love and decide to escape, stealing a van from the company to do so.
They embark on a quest to find a place to live, as well as satisfy their more immediate need for a fresh electrical supply. They assemble a small robot, Phil, built out of spare parts, whom they treat as their child, and are joined by Catskill, a mechanical standup comic (which is seen sitting the entire film).
A malfunctioning law-enforcement robot, the Crimebuster, overhears the orders of the repair workers to get the robots back and goes after the fugitives. With the help of humans who run a junkyard, and using Catskill's battery pack, the robots are able to save Phil before running out of power and being returned to the factory. Brought back to the factory the robots are repeatedly repaired and their memories cleared. Because they continue to malfunction they are junked. They are found by the humans who run the junk yard and reassembled. In the junkyard they live happily and build a robot daughter. The film ends with Crimebuster, after only pretending to have his mind erased, continuing to malfunction, going on another mission to recover the fugitive robots.

Review: If you have witnessed Andy Kaufman's slant on comedy, you may understand why I avoided this movie of his for years.
I had to rent it online when recently I finally got the courage to give it a try.My heart sank during the first few seconds of the movie.
There's barely a story here, with the bulk of the movie consisting of the robots wandering around...
But it seems odd that they spent time for the makeup when not bothering to present the rest of this world as a futuristic world (the vehicles of this world, for one thing, are present-day gas-powered vehicles.) It's even more odd to consider that no one involved with this movie realized along the way that this project was a train wreck..
Rent this if you want to be staggered by oddness, blown away by one of the most bizarre scripts, direction, and casting in the history of films.
Andy Kaufman went on David Letterman and apologized for this movie.
It's bad enough that you might want your money back, but it's stupid enough to keep you interested in watching it.I tortured my friends by showing them this movie.
I watched this movie one time, 20 years ago, but I still remember it fondly.
The movie is light-hearted, funny and insightful and is even poignant at times..
If you like bad movies, this one's a real treat.
Kaufman & Peters stagger around in robot costumes, escape slavery only to wander aimlessly, and find true robot love.
HEARTBEEPS is a movie about a pair of malfunctioning companion androids returned to the factory for repairs.
During the story, both androids slowly discover their love for each other and the desire to make the best life possible for the child they built together.
The android family now begins slow walk back to the robot factory, but their power packs are now running very low.The plot itself is fairly charming if you are not too impatient about the slow pace or the overly redundant dialog.
This isn't an action movie or even a sexy romance flick, but just a simple lightly romantic science-fiction movie with rather good makeup and nice special effects (but the effects are not plot-mover item for the story as is common with the movies these days).
I think this could be remade today (now that audiences are more accepting of science fiction in general) with a similar budget and a complex conceptually expanded script and succeed as a charming sci-fi family movie..
I really wanted to like this movie, but the pacing was just way too slow.It was a nice story, but it was really like watching a slug race.The movie would have been better served, if it had some more action.
My wife and I saw this in the theater when it first came out.There were only 3 couples there and we all walked out about the same time.This is the only movie I have ever walked out on.It was just painful to sit through.The theater actually stopped us on the way out and asked if we wanted a refund.Never had that happen before or since Pleae do not rent this You will really regret it I am really sureprised by the vote summary Perhaps personal tast has something to do with it.
Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters as robots who fall in love.
Little did I know that when I signed up the the "all pay channel" package with Direct TV that I would face a movie like this.
the movie industry has come a long way since the 80s!
I thought of this movie when i watched pluto nash...why..because both movies have randy quaid playing a retarded robot, this movie made years earlier but probably written by a screenplay writer that drank the same biotoxic coffee or something like that...Whoa...AVOID AT ALL COSTS even to pay tribute to the late great Andy Kaufman is hard to do here...find another film or just watch taxi reruns on latenight tv...his latka gravas character is so much more loveable...TANK YOU BERRY MUCH.
"I presume you are here for damage to your mental circuitry." - VALMike Nelson made me watch this...he mentioned it in his book, "Movie Megacheese." I asked myself, "Why would Mike Nelson steer me wrong?" I now know why the bots never trusted Mike Nelson.The music is by John Williams, which is probably part of his payment to the Devil.
In fact, I'm sure anyone who worked on this movie is probably in league with ol' Slewfoot, or is now cursed, from the Executive Director down to the guy who ran the catering truck outside the studio.
I saw this movie at the drive-in and on hbo in the early 80's and i still remember it!
So if there is anyone out there that works for a dvd company that can get the rights to this film or who works for the studio that made heartbeeps, really needs to release it in widescreen or special edition, it's a real good movie, i mean if anyone liked the movie Bicentennial Man  with robin williams where he plays a robot trying to find himself you will love this movie, if you need a reference, i think its Bicentennial Man meets a love story!.
Really, we are all robots, programmed to respond certain ways to certain stimuli without thinking.
I say, THANK YOU Aqua (brilliantly played by Bernadette Peters) for making me stop and think about the awesome power of mother nature.
It's only when Val and Aqua begin to reject their programming that they begin to understand their true desire--to find love, and to flee the factory in search of a creative life.
I read some of the comments and a lot of the viewers didn't care for the movie.
That should have been a huge tip-off.I always thought that Andy Kaufman intentionally tried to make the worst movie ever, as that type of thing was his bag (think him as a wrestler)If you spend money to rent this, you would be better to just flush the money down a toiletIt is not even campy - it is just terrible.
Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters star as robots in a future time when domestic robotic servants are commonplace.
The cast includes Randy Quaid, Kenneth McMillan, Christopher Guest, Melanie Mayron, Dick Miller, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, and the voice of Jack Carter.
Despite all of that talent, it's pretty awful, with no real story, and the attempted jokes just land flatly, partially because I was expecting Kaufman's usual brand of humor and got something completely different.
It is easily the most unintentionally bizarre thing ever conceived on film, & though it's a genuine failure on multiple levels (So much so that Kaufman apologized & offered people their money back on a Letterman appearance) it's not without its charms.It's got some interesting cinematography, makeup effects by the acclaimed master of 80's FX Stan Winston & a wonderfully unprecedented synthesizer & orchestral fused score, composed by none other than the great John Williams, which lends the film some heart...beeps.Though I'm really surprised that Carol Kane didn't end up as the female lead, Peters & Kaufman bring to the film exactly what you'd expect, as well as they likely could, & there is a root of a story in there with some actual heart.
Watch it like a time capsule revealing something historical about a people who lived nearly half a century years ago & their vision of a future.
1981 was a strange time.I swear, Andy Kaufman had the absolute strangest career in entertainment of anyone who ever breathed.
If anyone else had made this movie, I'd think they had gone mental, but if you said to me Andy Kaufman made it, I'd be like "Oh...
Val (Andy Kaufman) is a high class robot damaged in an industrial accident.
The robotic acting forced on Andy and Bernadette leaves out the humor.
Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters star in this slightly futuristic romantic comedy, playing Val and Aqua.
Val & Aqua are joined by a comedian robot named "Catskil" (voice of Jack Carter) and a cute little thing dubbed "Phil".It might be just me, but personally I found this dopey movie rather endearing.
Some viewers find it too slow, but I thought the pacing was adequate enough; the harmless little movie only runs an hour and 18 minutes anyway.
The only thing this viewer didn't like was the fact that Christopher Guest and Melanie Mayron were wasted in minor roles.
Director Allan Arkush is one of many filmmakers who came out of the Roger Corman school, and his other credits include things like "Rock 'n' Roll High School" and "Get Crazy"."Heartbeeps" doesn't add up to much when it's all over, but it's still a pleasant enough diversion.Six out of 10..
The first time I saw this movie I had rented it for my daughters.
I was looking for a family type movie we could watch together.
My girls are grown now, but I own the movie and we still watch it occasionally.Bernadette Peters is beautiful and Andy Kaufman is a riot.
Listening to the wise cracking robot "Catskill" tell terminally unfunny jokes makes the worst Jackie Mason movie seem like "Oscar" material.
And while in the abstract these comments are not as funny as the jokes from the Catskill robot in this movie.
(Critics of Quaid should see him in "Goya's Ghosts", that is is they can recognise him!) Heartbeep's is heartwarming - and if Kaufman didn't see the touching humanity in this flick, then that is another thing to spill grief over, as his work is not unappreciated by some.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I can't believe I actually remember seeing this movie in the theatre because I was only 5!
Must not have been that good of a flick...&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But I do love Andy Kaufman and I'mtrying to rent all of his films from Netflix, but they don't carry heartbeeps.
Well, I LOVED Andy, and Heartbeeps; it was given short shrift, PR-wise, and editing/writing, too.
Runaway Robot!" ( which was also the poster in front of the 3 movie theaters I saw it at --NOT the nice little color poster on this site, with headshots of all the cast, and cartoon of Crimebuster --which really wasn't THAT good--they OUGHT to have used an action scene from the film itself--didn't they have an onset photographer?
A poster is supposed to HELP a prospective audience decide if they want to SEE the movie--there were SO many people who couldn't get into their sold-out choice, and wanted to know WHAT Heartbeeps was about--and that poster didn't help!
) There was NO trailer for the film: only a slide at one theater, consisting of the word "Heartbeeps" inside a heart-shape, with a Cupid's arrow through it, and one that was a totally black picture: just Andy and Bernadette's voices saying "Val-Com!
My pleasure center is malfunctioning!" "So is mine; do you think we ought to tell our owners?" THAT is no help to people who hadn't been aware of the movie.During the filming, Andy told reporters that he couldn't eat, once his plastic lips were applied, so he would "load up on breakfast, and fast" during the day's shoot.
The one thing that critics had liked of this film was Williams' score--yet it was NOT available for purchase!
If I can ever get a scanner, and time to type out the articles, I'd like to create a Heartbeeps tribute site.
I liked the movie, and don't care what dissenters say!
The only trouble with the film, was, that near the end, it was messed up, logic-wise: the robots ran away from the factory to have the freedom to decide their own fate, make their own choices; yet, when the junkyard owners tell them that Phil needs to go TO the factory, to have a "purpose" programmed into him, they don't even question it; they just glance meaningfully at each other, and they go.
Along the way, each of the adults lose battery power, and "die." They aren't REALLY dead, as they are robots, and only need new batteries, yet it is treated as "death," with little Phil crying over them, and rolling away.
Phil never gets back to the factory, and gets "a purpose!" AND of course, the junkyard owners COULD'VE driven them, or given them all battery recharges, with back-up batteries; but the real point was to have this poignant scene, where the robots all wore down, and Phil is left to cry.
I absolutely loved this movie.
I guess I would recommend watching this movie high on enough drugs to reduce you to the mindset of a 6 year old, and then you should be fine..
At the time this movie was made, Kaufman's break-out TV series, Taxi, had just been cancelled and he had just been diagnosed with a rare large cell carcinoma in his lungs.
Bernadette Peters had just come off playing a cupie-doll airhead against Steve Martin's moron in "The Jerk" and Heartbeeps seemed like a good follow-up role.
The unlikely allies of the robots, Val, Aqua and the Catskill Performer, while being pursued by a crazed police robot, makes for a simplistic, yet classic tale of good vs.
'Heartbeeps' belongs on a short list of strange bad movies of which you have never seen their like and are likely to never see again.
It is easy to dismiss a movie that is a total waste of time but even through it falls on its face you have to give this one points for trying.Somewhere in the future two robots named Val (Andy Kaufman) and Aqua (Bernadette Peters) wonder what else might be out there in the world besides a droll existence playing butler and hostess to their owners.
'Heartbeeps' is a very stupid idea for a movie.
Val and Aqua, our robot heroes, have dialogue written entirely in programing speak.
A lot is working against 'Heartbeeps' and yet the film is saved from the bomb rating it probably deserves.
Appropriately enough with the make-up and the dialogue everything seems artificial in 'Heartbeeps', Kaufman is able to take the material to a very emotional and human level.I am a fan of Andy Kaufman.
I can't think of a better actor than Andy Kaufman to tackle this kind of role.The rest of the film is pretty boring and underdeveloped.
The film's greatest flaw is that there is no real impetus for the adventure these robots undertake and thus their discovery of a kind of humanity does not really have an impact because we don't really see a before and after.
I would have liked to have seen them drop some of the robot mannerisms as they become human because what makes these Pinocchio stories interesting is the sense of transformation.Kaufman is what makes this film worth a view because otherwise it is pretty bad.
'Heartbeeps' really serves as a reminder of the fact that we lost Andy Kaufman far too soon.
I'd like to think that with better roles tailored to his strengths he could have reached great heights as an actor..
I remember that it played incessantly...and I watched it each and every time.
I think that that very quality may have contributed to the detriment of "Heartbeeps" because sweetness and sincerity are anathema to the accepted Kaufman persona.
Regardless, both he and Bernadette Peters were wonderful in this film, as were Jack Carter as the voice of "Catskill" and...very weirdly...Jerry Garcia as the voice of "Phil".
It's funny, it's touching, it's the perfect date movie for people who love sci-fi and romantic comedies.
It's the first robot romantic comedy.
I think couples will enjoy this movie and will want to watch it over and over again.
even if you don't find this movie appealing in a cutesy-poo, charm sort of way, you'll probably still find it a little off the wall and more than a bit absurd.besides the usual babyish, sentimental group that always gets hooked into popular schmaltz, and i've met many of those, some of us get hooked into this for the pure peculiarity of the story.
as any fan of this cult comedy knows, it's about a couple of silly little robots who decide to run away and start a family together.
but for some of us the appeal is strong and obviously with most, on a intuitive feeling level.Andy Kaufman's style of comedy was fairly idiosyncratic, personalized and individual to a point of egomaniacal.
he was a young man suddenly thrown into the spotlight, like so many young performers, and either he had too many ideas, or knew too little what to do with all the attention, because all fame seemed to do was make Kaufman retreat more inwardly and become, at times, almost incomprehensible.
i enjoy Kaufman but i can't always say i get him half the time.
he was a very hard celebrity to make a actor out of because his performance skills were so different and hard to place in just anything.i can't imagine a better film for Kaufman than 'Heartbeeps'.
not to mention he seems eerily robotic and unreal in his role as Val the house Bot. i also can't imagine a better leading lady for him than the incredible Bernadette Peters.
without her and Kaufman this film would have been impossible.there's also a couple of funny cameos by 'Rock'n Roll' high school stars Woronov and Bartell.
they don't have much to do, but they are hilarious as spoiled rich, yuppie-types who are perplexed by the robots who crash their party.this quaint movie memorabilia reads a little like 'Wizard of Oz', meets artificial intelligence meets Woody Allen's 'Sleeper' or something like that.
the only real cliché here though, is to call this little movie a enigma.
a lot of people will probably find this movie hard to get used to because of it's kookiness.
for other's, like myself, the real enigma is why this film is so appealing i just can't resist it.