Crank
Tags: comedy, stupid, cult, violence, absurd, action, revenge

Plot synopsis:
The plot revolves around Carlito (Carlos Sanz), who leads a wealthy and influential Mexican-American crime syndicate in Los Angeles. Worried about the encroachment of a group of heavily-armed members of the Chinese mafia, Carlito orders the contract killing of their leader, Don Kim (Keone Young). Carlito's best hitman, a British man called Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), is ordered to do the job. However Carlito underestimated the Chinese and after the hit, the anger of the Chinese is much greater than Carlito expected. Carlito regrets the hit, deeming it "ill-advised", and to ease the pressure Carlito offers the Chinese an explanation and a solution: the hit was nothing to do with him, and Carlito will remove certain elements within his own organization who were responsible and operating on their own.Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), a small time criminal and long-time rival of Chelios, uses the opportunity to conspire with Carlito against Chelios, unknown to Chelios who believes Carlito is still loyal to him. While Chelios sleeps in his apartment one night, Verona breaks in and injects Chelios with the "Beijing Cocktail". This is a synthetic drug which inhibits the flow of adrenaline from the adrenal glands, slowing the heart, and eventually killing the victim. Chelios wakes to find a recorded video explaining that Chelios should only have about an hour left before the poison stops his heart.Chelios phones Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam) who often works as a personal physician to the Mafia, who informs Chelios that in order to survive and keep his heart beating he must keep his adrenaline pumping through constant excitement and danger, or get some artificial adrenaline, epinephrine. With his own adrenaline keeping the poison at bay at first, Chelios breaks into a hospital and steals numerous drugs, much more than Doc Miles advises him to take and also being "juiced" by hits from a defibrilator. He must keep his adrenaline up through reckless and dangerous acts such as picking fights with other gangsters, stealing things, committing robberies, fighting with police and driving cars through shopping malls.The entire film takes place in a single day. Over the course of the day Chelios sets out to get his revenge on Verona, knowing that he probably will not make it to the end of the day, and attempting to find Verona and his street gang through Chelios' street contact Kaylo (Efren Ramirez), a flamboyant homosexual. Chelios also goes to pick up his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) before Verona's thugs get to her. Chelios has sex with Eve in the middle of a busy street in Chinatown while hundreds of people look on, in order to keep his adrenaline up.In the end it is revealed that Chelios spared Don Kim's life and told him to leave LA. Towards the end of the film, Chelios arranges a rooftop meeting with Carlito, Verona and their henchmen, who promise him a fake antidote. Don Kim arrives along with his Triads to assist Chelios, and in a shootout many of Carlito's men are killed. Carlito is killed by an ambitious and treacherous Verona, who then attempts to leave in Carlito's helicopter. The film concludes with Chelios confronting Verona in the helicopter and as they fight the pair fall from the chopper thousands of feet above LA, and mid-flight Chelios breaks Verona's neck. He then calls Eve on his cell phone, apologizing that he will not be coming back to her. Chelios hits a car, bounces off it and lands right in front of the camera. In the last shot it is implied that his adrenaline is indeed still flowing fast; his nostrils flare, he blinks, and two heartbeats are heard.

Review: The previews made it look like it had a clever story, but I was worried that with Jason Statham playing lead, I might just get a re-hash of his "Transporter" films.I got a pleasant surprise.
In the first minutes of the film we are set up with a possible story of corruption between hit men, a botched job, and the set-up for the whole movie-- Statham's Chev Chelios being fatally poisoned with a Chinese-made serum that slows his heart rate, and will eventually literally make his heart stop, killing him.
We get cutting when necessary and when not necessary, to further illustrate the needs of the main character.Overall, I would say "Crank" was the coolest movie I've seen in the last several years, leaps and bounds beyond the standard Hollywood action flick.
accidytrip-o-vision.Other movies with accidytrip-o-vision: Easy Rider and A Scanner Darkly.In conclusion, Crank is an action-filled, blood encrusted, comedy haywire, accidytrip-o-vision, adrenaline-pumping achievement.Kudos to Statham and the rest of the team for the new bible of popcorn flicks..
Despite the fast pace, there is actually real chemistry with her as the love interest.Every action movie lover should go out and see this film immediately.
It is everything that Snakes on a Plane, which is cheesy and bad, and I don't mean good-bad, is not.Who should see this movie:-- Action movie fans, you might not want to bring your SO, it's pretty hardcore with the gore and violence-- Enraged assassins with 2 hours to live I'll give "Crank" a 9 out of 10, the only missing point being that there's no real depth to the drama, it's strictly "just for the action"..
I think that is a fair review, this movie is good and avoid many of the common places in action movies and in many cases go against it .Some of the dialog you hear here you've never heard it in another movie , cause the situations are so unique .Jason Stantham is amazing in the lead character , even giving some comedy moments .This movie don't deserve a direct to video release , but even if in some countries are released direct to video , go and watch it..
Instead of a James Bond or a John McLane, CRANK has Chev Chelios, played by Jason Statham (THE TRANSPORTER), who is not even close to one of the more likable action heroes.
But for the most part, Crank is a hard boiled action movie that is specifically designed to give directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor free reign to bombard your senses with every little trick they can imagine, which includes split screens, animated views of the pounding hearts of humans and pigeons alike, car chases, gun fights, dazed point of view shots, subtitles viewed from both sides, and even a couple of shots where people that Chelios is speaking to on the phone appear on screen  once projected onto a nearby wall and once, briefly, in a side-view mirror as Chelios speeds down the street.Crank was made with a very specific audience in mind, and for what that audience wants to see, the movie definitely delivers.
But there's absolutely nothing funny -- and much that is actually quite disturbing -- about many of the scenes that are played for laughs, like an inexplicable one where a bad guy is getting a blow job while feeding pieces of raw meat to angry dogs, or another where Jason Statham's character pretty much rapes his girlfriend in the middle of a busy market until she's so turned on that she joins in voluntarily.Garbage.Grade: F.
Honestly I like mildly entertaining action films but this doesn't deserve the IMDb rating at all.It is basically the same story as speed, but instead of preventing the bus slowing down to avert disaster, Jason Statham's character must prevent his heart from slowing down else he dies.
What a brutally awful way to waste 90 minutes of your life.The clowns that scripted and produced this garbage should be banned from Hollywood.The actors will surely be wishing this could be erased from their resumes.Vulgar language and sex that adds nothing to the movie, it's just mindlessly thrown in for titillation purposes.Sure, there's a place for it, but not when it's so blatantly forced as in this stupid movie.It's not clever, it's just increasingly offensive scenes linked together.And if stupid scenes aren't enough, they irritate the heck out of you with shaky camera movement.They probably think it adds to the aura of the movie, but why didn't they just invest a few bucks in a tripod.Don't even waste your time with this as a video rental.Easily one of the 10 worst pieces of trash ever filmed..
Watch it one more time and see if u don't agree that its the worst action movie ever made.Please for your own health.What was the point of him driving the bike standing on the seat, the point of the backwards subtitles(like hes reading it), the point of making a phone call while falling from the sky, and lastly what was the point of the rape scene in Chinatown.
Unless he keeps his adrenaline up, and being a super tough hit-man, he is not one to go out quietly nor get revenge on those that poisoned him.Jason Statham fits the role of the intense, crazy, ultra-cool, badass Chev Chelios so perfectly that it's just amazing.
When I saw this movie in the new releases at the local rental shop, I thought straight away with Jason Statham in the lead role it should be a good movie.Yes it has a lot of blood and guts etc but it's very similar to Transporter 2 in that it's been churned out for the sake of it.So far fetch it's not funny, so ridiculous that my wife went to sleep at the half way point.
I watched it to the end and it just got worse.I had expected it to be up there with Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Transporter or even Layer cake (different actor), which are three movies I would really rate, but sadly this is one I would steer my friends away from.Yes, it had a few funny moments but the story line is garbage, it reminds me of those old "B" grade movies from the 50's.I've read many a review on this site over the last several years and this is the first time a movie has made me make a comment.If you see this in the rental area along side say "The Departed" it's no contest The Departed is what good movies are about..
These men should not be allowed to as much as work in a cinema.And don't get me started on the scene where Statham almost rapes his girlfriend in front of a crowd of people, including children.Maybe it's because I've been watching so many Scorsese movies recently, but this one seemed more dire than even The Transporter.
Not caring about himself or those who have the misfortune of running into him Chev just makes a shambles of everything and everyone he comes in contact with in the film.The movie "Crank" even gets a bit, a big bit, pornographic as Chev, needing to keep his heart furiously pumping to stay alive, attacks and rapes his stunned girlfriend Eve, Amy Smart.
Okay, I admit that a premise as far-fetched as 'Crank' is not aiming to engage on any intelligent level, and I for one was interested in how it would be developed, but it is preposterous in its nature from its cheap thrills to endless violence.Jason Statham acts in 'Crank' like he does in all his other movies, a man with a passion for violence.
I'm not saying that movie needs to be intelligent or have a fantastic plot, but where movies like "Dude where's my car" and "Bringing Down the House" at least offer some pretty good laughs, this movie is just plan stupid and uncomfortable.Jason Statham is just the idiotic self as he's always been.
The ending was crap, too, and I am not sure whether the director wanted to make this film an all action movie, a romance, a drama, or a comedy.
There have been numerous parallels to video games (mainly the 'Grand Theft Auto' franchise) in as much as it's stupidly over-the-top, but knowingly so – so that's okay (in my book, anyway).Jason 'The Stath' Statham, plays a hit-man with a name that I can never remember how to spell and, one sunny morning in Los Angeles, he wakes up poisoned by a baddie and with less than an hour to live (but, it's also worth noting that the film's runtime is over an hour and a half, so we know that the Stath is going to last a little longer than his foe intended).
However, luckily for our cockney hero (yes, he's not bothering with his faux U.S. accent) he soon figures out that if he keeps his adrenaline suitably raised then he'll be okay (well, not okay, but won't die instantly).So, that's basically the film – Jason Statham runs (literally!) from scene to scene, finding one weird and wonderful way of keeping his heart rate up while trying to track down and kill the person who did this to him (and, if there's a genuine antidote out there, he'll have that, too).
;o) What I really like, is that the movie sets a tone and keeps it till the end.Jason Statham was an action star before Crank, but now everyone will notice him.
Definitely not a film for the squeamish or the easily offended by potty mouth dialog, CRANK delivers its own brand of breakneck action and very funny comedic outtakes into a platform for the likes of Jason Statham, so well remembered for his role in Transporter/s, and a cast that gives him fine support.Chev Chelios (Statham, in fine fettle but oddly keeping his shirt on to for once cover his physique...) is a contract killer who has just snuffed a man the local drug dealers in LA are not happy about: relationships between LA and Hong Kong have been strained.
The story is a bit shallow but that really doesn't get in the way when the purpose of the movie is to see just how violent and how many kills and disasters can be created before the final bizarre ending.Statham and Smart make a great team, giving some of the best humor imaginable in a story that is basically humorless.
The movie concept for this film sounds good on paper, man kills for a living as a hit-man, boss gets frustrated with him for being out of control, get the cartels to inject him with a deadly virus and must keep up his heart rate to stay alive and thus looks for revenge, its probably why Jason Statham signed on to do this film.
Anyway Jason Statham is a good action star if directed properly obviously we all saw how good he was in Transporter 1 and 2, this wasn't the case, yes crank did have some humor in the mix, when both Jason character (Chev) and Amy smart (eve) were in town square china town and the only way he could keep the adrenaline going was having sex with his girlfriend and the part were he was distracting his girlfriend (eve) by knocking over her purse to fight the "bad-guys" and breaking their necks in the process.
Do yourself a favor go see "little miss sunshine" there's a movie that will make you think and won't leave you felling dumbfounded.If this was a parody of other action flicks I probably would of gave it a 8 out of 10 but it looked like the directors wanted the audience to take it seriously so it gets a 1 out of 10..
Compared to many other action movies this one really stick out from the rest.And Jason Statham did a fantastic role in Crank.
"My Name is Chev Chelios and today's the day I went to see Crank and it was amazing".I managed to see a preview of this film and it was fantastic.Jason Statham is absolutely brilliant as Chev 'the man' Chelios, the action is superb and the direction is stunning.It really shows that the directors worked in stunts beforehand, as they know how to make a stunning looking film with effects galore.
Hit-man Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is having a crap day; he's been injected with synthetic poison which will kill him if his heart rate drops.
Jason Statham may be one of the best action stars to have emerged in recent years, but even he cannot save this turgid mess from being the total wreck that it is.On second thoughts, maybe this film is SO dumb and SO over-the-top that it's actually pure geniusthe ultimate violent popcorn thrill ride.No, I was right the first timeit's absolute toss!
Crank is a solid action thrill ride that was better than expected powered by a fantastic performance by Jason Statham whose other film credits include Snatch, The Transporter, and Death Race.
While the first time writers/directors of Crank said they (very luckily) didn't have to pitch the script, it would have been one of those classic moments seeing that pitch happen: "Ok, so, it's like Speed, you remember Speed with Keanu Reeves, and he had make sure the bus didn't go below 50 or else it would blow up - here, think of that, only instead of a bus it's an ass-kicking British guy, maybe Jason Statham from Transporter." It got money thrown at it right away, and Statham had to be actually convinced in reality to take on the part, but it was such a spot-on decision since he is, pleasantly and surprisingly, fit like an oil-slicked glove into the part of Chev Chelios.
There's nothing that Statham- who may arguably be even MORE of a bad-ass here than ever before (which may or may not be saying a lot considering his 10 year career so far)- won't do for the film, and it works so well because of him and the verve of the film-making.Crank isn't exactly a very "good" movie, almost never will you see it on anyone's "best-of" list.
If you like brainless action flicks with insane set-pieces, great one-liners and zero character development so you don't give a rat's-ass about them, then Crank is probably the film for you.
CRANK has it all, indeed...belligerence, profanity, crude sex in a crowded public place, male anatomy jokes, dismemberment and numerous other examples of calculatedly gratuitous violence, needles, disgusting x-ray images of pumping hearts, prostitutes inside glass bubbles, cutesy text graphics and subtitles, an obnoxious thrash metal soundtrack...like I said, CRANK has it all...if you're a 13-17 year-old male.If you are anything other than a 13-17 year-old male, please avoid this pointless, soulless garbage.CRANK rips off every modern action-genre gimmick and shamelessly employs every cliché imaginable: shallow racial stereotypes, protracted car chases, pseudo-dream sequences, shoot-outs on the roofs of buildings that are so absurd and over-the-top that you find yourself laughing, not because it's funny, but because you can't believe someone actually scripted such scenes and went to the trouble of shooting them.Even the whole idea of the main character being fatally poisoned, and having but one measly afternoon to exact his revenge, is a tired, shopworn plot template.And the most glaring, trite device of all: using jerky, helter-skelter, hand-held camera footage, a la DOMINO...another extremely lame film...to create an atmosphere of kitschy, chaotic fun and madness.
Some scenes meant to be funny, were instead laughable that they were even meant to be funny (if that makes any sense).Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is an assassin getting ready to slow down and quit the business to spend more time with his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart).
The action scenes are about the only good part of the movie, because they are pretty intense and fun to watch, but they too are amazingly stupid.
I was so excited to have the opportunity to see Crank, I have heard nothing but great things about this movie all year, so when some friends and I watched it last night we were a bit confused by all the awesome ratings and reviews this film had.
Chev also needs to get to his stoner girlfriend, Eve, before she gets killed; but time is running out as he tries to keep his blood running and his adrenaline going.Like I said, this was an alright action film, I think it was just a little bit too much for me.
British actor Jason Statham is best known for his roles in both Transporter films, The Italian Job, and of course Guy Ritchie's Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.In Crank, he's raised his status as an action star big time!
The premise of the film is Chev Chelios (Jason) is a hit man/mobster; after messing with the wrong group, they drug him and inject a poisonous substance where he only has a few hours to live.In order to prolong his imminent death, he must keep his heart rate up, and adrenaline pumping.
It's the first time I've ever seen the use of that sort of thing actual locations were used and shown in a movie.Along his chase, and running out of adrenaline, Eve (Smart) joins back up with Chev; she gives him enough energy to make it just a few more hours  the only way she knows how.I'm always incredibly impressed with the amount of stunts Jason does, and at his ability to pull them off.
I am really disappointed because I really like Jason Statham and think he could be a really big action star.
This movie is big on action,, and sex scenes also.Jason STatham does NOT disappoint.
A feature film that puts Jason Statham in the front is more or less destined to be action-packed from the beginning to the end and Crank is not an exception.
Jason Statham finally stars in an action movie that's obviously ironic, not like the rather embarrassing "Transporter" flicks.
I like Jason Statham and really enjoyed him in the Transporter films.