The First Turn-On!!
Tags: adult comedy

Plot synopsis:
On the last day of summer at Camp Big-Tee-Pee, all the teenage campers are crazy with hormones and eager to go home. While on a nature walk with ditzy hippie camp counselor Michelle Farmer, four students, self-proclaimed stud Mitch, his girlfriend Annie, overweight Henry, and nerd Danny break off from the rest of the group to indulge in some cannabis. They take refuge in a nearby cave, only to be caught in the act by Michelle some time later. While being shooed out, Henry's flatulence causes a landslide, trapping the five of them inside. To pass the time until their eventual rescue, the group shares stories of how each lost their virginity.
In Mitch's story, Lucy, an elegant prostitute, picks up Mitch while he is hitchhiking and invites him to visit her fancy hotel room. Feeling nervous and inexperienced, he asks his ultra-cool, yet dim-witted friend Jeff to give him pointers (which include "when in doubt, whip it out"). However, upon meeting Lucy, Jeff unsuccessfully attempts to seduce Lucy, almost injuring her. When Mitch saves her and kicks Jeff out, Lucy repays him with mind-blowing sex.
Henry is forced to tell his story next. In preparation for a big Halloween party, he dresses as a ghost. Unfortunately, in addition to not being able to see out of the eye-holes, the costume looks identical to a Klan robe. Blinded, he accidentally stumbles upon a group of (flamboyantly gay) African-American thugs about to kill a young white woman. The thugs turn their attention to Henry, beat him senseless, and then skip off, singing and holding hands. The girl, convinced Henry has just saved her life, instantly falls for him and the two make passionate love later that night next to a giant pile of donuts.
Meanwhile, the camp's staff, in fear of a potentially expensive lawsuit, desperately search for the missing campers.
In Annie's story, she discusses her first time, back when she was working on her family's farm. One night, she discovers an attractive drifter who had broken into her house in search of food. Overwhelmed by her hormones, she gives him a lot more than cookies in the back of the barn, much to the dismay of the sheep.
Danny goes next: His flashback reveals that he was a pornography-addicted loser. While visiting the beach one day, he thinks he sees Penthouse Pet Sheila Kennedy smiling and winking at him, but quickly dismisses it as a mirage. Later that night, after being rejected from a double date with his brother, Danny returns to his room to find Kennedy waiting for him. While the two engage in lengthy foreplay, they are later joined by his brother's girlfriend, and they all participate in an orgy, which Danny mispronounces.
Finally, Miss Farmer tells her story: Back in high school she was deeply in love with her psychotic, nerd boyfriend Dwayne. However, when Dwayne dumps her for another girl at the junior prom, she sucks up her pride and picks up two new boyfriends. The three of them proceed to have sex on a bowling alley lane.
As more time passes and oxygen diminishes in the cave, the gang becomes convinced that they will all asphyxiate. In a moment of truth, everyone admits that their stories were false. They're all still virgins. Determined not to die as such, they all participate in an orgy. The symphony of thrusts and moans causes another landslide, thus opening the entrance of the cave and freeing everyone.
As the group returns to camp, a narrator reveals the character's futures: Danny became a pornographic actor under the name "Dicky Long". Mitch became a priest and a staunch advocate of gay rights. Henry now works for the National Cheese Commissioners Board. After eight marriages, Annie had a nervous breakdown and became a vegetable. Miss Farmer runs the government's program for Wildlife Preservation. The film's final shot shows her trying to make a large trout "fly away" by tossing it into the air.

Review: pales in comparison to American Pie??!!!.
J. Canker Huxley doesn't know what he's talking about.
American Pie is garbage.
It isn't funny.
The First Turn-On is a classic from the days when there were such things as "teenage sex romps."  It has no aspirations other than to amuse and to exploit.
Movies like Road Trip and American Pie want to have their cake and eat it too---they try to be lewd and crude, yet still contain a "message" or be moral.
The First Turn-On has no morals and therefore succeeds in being entertaining..
Vincents First Turn On!.
My interest in this film was purely as a fan of Vincent D'Onofrio..and this is his first ever movie made at the tender age of twenty four.
His role is small however, but his character is actually quite funny.
He plays a psychotic,brainless teenager called Lobotomy..and oh, how his acting improved over the years!
The film itself is a carry on movie meets Airplane!
lots of silly humour and innuendo.
It's set at a kids summer camp with dubious members of staff and centres around four teens and a dizzy blonde staff members stories of their first seductions..it is funny in parts but also very silly.
It's not a bad film, just a piece of inane fluff..
A Troma teen sex comedy.
One of Troma's first entries in the teen sex comedy genre, it is average at best.
"The First Turn On!!" is about a bunch of idiot teen campers and a female counselor get stuck in a cave and "describe" their first sexual encounters.This is a pretty subaverage fare for even Troma films.
In the world of teenage sex romps it pales in comparison to recent films such as "American Pie" and "Road Trip."There are some highlights in this film.
This was a first film for Vincent D'Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket, Feeling Minnesota, Men in Black, Steal this Movie!) as a fat loser and a funny cameo by comedian and all-around nice guy Rondell Sheridan as a gang member.The real gem of this movie is the sound track from the seminal new wave band "Shrapnel" featuring some of their best (and unreleased) stuff.
Hearing the song "Sleep Over" and the goofy performances by Sheridan and D'Onofrio are worth giving this film a watch on cable or a $1.00 rental (but not much else)..
Sex, lies, and Penthouse Pets (and Vincent D'nofrio).
I used to hate 80's teen movies (it was bad enough actually BEING a teenager in the 80's without having to watch a bunch of crappy movies about it).
But now a warm glow of nostalgia (or incipient senility) has set in and I kind of like some of them.
I still don't care for some of the more famous ones ("The Breakfast Club", "Dirty Dancing", etc.), but I like some of the ones that are kind of realistic (if somewhat depressing) like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and "The Last American Virgin", or, on the other hand, films like this one that are so ridiculous you can't take them seriously at all.
Since this film was made by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz of Troma, it is of course very self-consciously campy (if not quite as much as their more famous "Toxic Avenger" series).
It takes place at a strange camp where the "campers" all seem to be in their early twenties.
A counselor and four "campers" get trapped in a cave and decide to pass the time by telling each other stories of their "first time".The stories are all REALLY dumb, but this movie uses an interesting device where the flashbacks on screen often contradict the story the character is telling.
I remember a few years later a mainstream critic practically wetting himself when overrated film genius Steven Sodeberg did this in "sex, lies and videotape".
Of course, this device is much more incompetently rendered here and a plot twist near the end really makes hash of it (but then again "sex, lies, and videotape" doesn't end in a big orgy like this one does).But I'm sure nobody but me cares about any of this so let's get to the two most important things--the "T", and of course, the "A".
There's plenty of it here naturally as in any Troma movie.
Most of the girls, however, aren't stunningly attractive except for Sheila Kennedy, who was a former Penthouse Pet and years later appeared in the TV "reality dreck "Big Brother" (and I don't which of these is the skeleton in her closet).
This movie is definitely a skeleton in the closet of Emmy and Academy Award-nominated actor Vincent D'nofrio.
I certainly don't agree with Lloyd Kaufman's introductory comment that Sheila Kennedy is better in this than D'nofrio was in "Full Metal Jacket", but she's better than he is in this movie (of course, she doesn't have to stretch herself too much since she's actually playing a Penthouse Pet here).
Anyway, those that enjoy this kind of celebrity early-career embarrassment will certainly enjoy Vince here..
Super unfunny yet still charming.
This is the last straight comedy produced by Troma before they found their niche in action/horror spoofs and the only film directed mostly by Michael Herz.
Its a very sophomoric and amateur take off on Porky's and Meatballs 2 designed to be zany and irreverent.
Troma's early comedies all suffer from sleaze, grime and laziness, but they usually have a redeeming sly sense of satire and a fun cartoon logic thanks to Lloyd Kaufman.
"Turn On" then is very interesting Troma fans as they can see just what Herz' contributions were before he stopped teaming with Kaufman.
Herz directs "Turn On" with a humanist energy.
His actors are happy and free and he pays no attention to blocking or coverage.
He's all about performances.
The later Troma films are missing this naturalistic acting style and the sensuality Herz seems obsessed with.
Kaufman is definitely a better director of action and comedy but maybe Troma would've grown stronger with Herz's style still complimenting Lloyd's..
Cheapo tit flick.
A completely pointless excuse to put some of the ugliest women in the history of 'cinema' on screen without their tops on.
I don't know where the comedy bit came into this film, as the funniest bit of it was watching the woman cop a double decker on the bowling alley.GOD AWFUL.
before Toxie, there was sex comedy...
and it wasn't very good, as one might guess.
The First Turn-On!!
(must have the two exclamation points there because, hey, more stuff on the poster!!) is a sex-romp where we get to see the inside scoops on what the "first time" was like for a few ass-wipes and two stuck up chicks (to speak in Beavis & Butt-head tongue), and they all beef up their stories that they tell in the cave after an avalanche makes the cave impenetrable...
he-he, impenetrable, is that a funny?
Well, no, on to the movie itself, one of the early collaborations between Troma founder/bad-taste pioneers Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman, who share producer/director credits here.
Their game, if one can't tell from their other movies, is intentionally hitting the lowest common denominator.
They do have a tongue-in-cheek through most of it- that is when the misogyny doesn't scream out like a young lady's first or almost orgasm- and at least they're not trying to be offensive...
actually, no, that's a lie.
If you got offended by this, they won half the battle (and if you paid for the whole DVD- as opposed to, with some wit, getting it off of Netflix instant-view, they won the other half).I would like to try to look deeper into some of the psychological ramifications of what the campers and camp-leader with the frizzy 80's hair and wide blue eyes go into, but does it matter?
Whenever Kaufman and Herz try to get on with a story it makes so many detours it threatens to jump off a cliff with two boobs in your face.
This said, throughout the raucous and stupid and juvenile and just flat-out gross and 11-year old humor wedged into a very-R-rated sex comedy, I actually did laugh at a few lines like "This would be easier than (bleeping) a tomato", and there were a few sight gags that did make me chuckle loudly.
I could probably count those times on one hand.
And I guess there are some nice bosoms, to note once again.
The rest of it is obnoxious crap-comedy, the kind where you roll your eyes or just sit in momentary stunned silence and go "really, you had to go there?
It's a Porky's knock-off at camp that unfortunately doesn't go far enough to anticipate 127 Hours.
Now if they had to cut off some genitals to stay alive (mostly testicles) it might be a better night out..
A Big Turn-Off. Oh, poor Vincent D'Onofrio!
The only people who should pay any money to see this movie are collectors who buy the DVD because they want to get everything Vincent D'Onofrio has ever done.
And, for the record, he has no part in what makes this movie awful.
That honor goes to the actors who had the main parts, and to the writers, and to the directors, and to the producers....You know, the collectors should pay for it, maybe, but I don't think that even they should see it.
Keep it sealed and be afraid, be very afraid.
Oh, O.K., true fans of Vincent D'Onofrio can watch what is, according to IMDb, his first film performance, if they have strong enough stomachs to deal with the rest of this garbage.
This "teenage sex comedy" wasn't funny, wasn't sexy, and I don't think the performers looked particularly teen-aged!.
A choice chunk of vintage 80's Troma comedy trash.
Four teenagers and a summercamp counselor find themselves trapped in a cave after an avalanche.
The quintet decide to make the time pass by faster by swapping (wildly embellished) stories about their first sexual experiences.
Directors Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, working from a blithely lowbrow script, gleefully wallow in a cheerfully crude and stupid sense of anything-goes dippy toilet bowl humor with a steady succession of always sophomoric and often sidesplitting no-brainer jokes about such things as pot smoking, hillbillies, urination, masturbation, herpes, and a hysterical group orgy scene that's truly something to behold.
Naturally, we also get a tasty truckload of yummy female nudity and lots of leering soft-core sex.
The cast broadly overact their colorful roles with deliciously enthusiastic go-for-it relish, with especially amusing contributions by Georgia Harrell as annoyingly chipper nature freak Michelle, Michael Sanville as macho lout Mitch, Googy Gress as tubby slob Henry, Heidi Miller as luscious tart Annie Goldberg, John Flood as the cocky Danny Anderson, Betty Pia as Danny's shrewish mom Ms. Anderson, and Mark Torgl (Melvin the mop boy in "The Toxic Avenger") as supremely disgusting geek Dwayne.
Insanely foxy "Penthouse" Pet Sheila Kennedy burns up the screen as basically herself while Vincent D'Onofrio in his ignominious cinematic debut goes totally over the top as incredibly obnoxious psycho Lobotomy.
The bouncy soundtrack and cornball stock film library score further enhance this picture's considerable inane charm.
This is the type of flat-out idiotic junk that's frequently very funny because of its gloriously blatant and unapologetic dumbness.
A complete raunchy'n'wacky riot.