Hercules in New York
Tags: good versus evil, cult, violence

Plot synopsis:
Hercules, at Olympus, berates his father Zeus for not allowing him to leave the gods' abode to adventure on earth. Eventually Zeus sends Hercules, on a beam, to the land of men.
After some strange encounters in the air and at sea, Hercules arrives in New York City, where hilarity ensues in the form of interactions with various New Yorkers, who regard him as physically superior but socially awkward. He meets a skinny little guy called Pretzie (Arnold Stang). Hercules becomes a successful professional wrestler.
Zeus, watching Hercules from the heights, becomes irritated with Hercules' antics, which he feels are making a mockery of the gods, and calls on Mercury to stop Hercules. After Mercury makes an unsuccessful attempt to bring Hercules home, Zeus orders Nemesis to see to it that Hercules is consigned to the infernal regions ruled over by Pluto.
However, Juno instead convinces Nemesis to poison Hercules with a poison that would strip him of his divinity and then talk to Pluto. Nemesis informs Pluto of what is happening and he bets a large sum of money against Hercules in an upcoming strongman competition with Hercules' gangster manager.
When Hercules loses the strongman competition his friends try to lead off Hercules' angry manager's henchmen, but Hercules follows them to save them.
Meanwhile, Zeus uncovers the truth from Nemesis as to what is happening but only intervenes at the last minute to restore Hercules' divinity, not wanting any son of his to die at the hands of a mortal.
Hercules defeats the gangsters and realizes that he has been disobedient and returns to the heavens shortly after, only saying good-bye to Pretzie over a radio after he leaves.
In the heavens, Zeus tells Juno and Hercules that he is not going to punish Hercules for his behavior as they ask him about it and then asks to be left alone. They leave him alone, and upon their departure, Zeus sneaks out of the heavens and descends to earth, scaring a passenger jet on his way down.

Review: This may on one hand actually well be the worst movie I've seen, on regular movie basis that is, because on the other hand it's also the funniest movie I've stumbled across since I saw "Monty Python and the quest for the holy grail".I've always thought Arnold Schwarzenegger has been wooden in his acting, but none of his other movies even come close to the extreme amount of talent vacuum he possesses in this movie.
Long live the underdog!Then we have main supporting character Arnold Stang, an actor which has exactly two different looks: one of utter confusion, probably because he's wondering about what the hell he's doing in the movie in the first place and one look of not so utter confusion, which he often uses when Hercules flexes his muscles for him.
But as far as characters go, the goddess of beauty is a really pug-ugly woman/dog/gorilla with a stuffed bra and all, Pluto has the incredible ability of turning out  all the lights in a plastic version of New York, Atlas and Samson helps Hercules by throwing punches a few meters in front of bad guys, probably to stun them with their utter uselessness or possibly showing off their godly talents that doesn't even require them to hit people to hurt them.
After I saw it ten times in repeat I understood that there actually was a hidden door somewhere and that it actually made sense in a surreal "Hercules in New York" kind of way.Then we have Olympus, not only home of the Gods but also home of the big evil city traffic, you can hear cars driving by and honking every second.
Yeah, thats more like it.I have only listed a few of the errors in this movie here, since I won't spend the entire day of writing this review but I think the fact that Arnold Scwarzenegger actually managed to not only have a movie career but also got elected as a senator has to rate as the biggest of the lot.
If you have seen the DVD version you can watch the movie with his voice, which makes all the difference in the world, if you're an Arnold fan that is.
This movie may be the most underbudget, worst film of all time, but it's Arnold and it's great for a laugh.
Stop taking life so seriously and go watch "Hercules Goes to New York." If you can't laugh at this movie and appreciate it for the horrible piece of seventies anti-porn money at work that it is, then perhaps something along the lines of, oh, we'll say that Mariah Carey movie put out a number of years ago, or perhaps a documentary on the Exxon Valdez disaster would be more up your alley.
If I feel down, all I need to do is think of Arnie fighting the grizzly bear in Hercules in New York and it cracks me up.
Hercules' simplicity and god-like physique, as well as Monstro the Magnificent's lopsided hair cut, symbolize the yin and yang of life and death, bigness and smallness, truth and the GOP.The frequent unfocusing of the shot shows that mankind's mind is frequently unfocused and Arnold's partially literate accent represents the garbled marbles we often use to express the inner desires of our hearts.
The four-hundred-and-something witless souls who awarded this a 10 should be permanently banned from voting.Forget that it was made on a shoe-string budget, and that at one point Arnold fights the worst bear costume in movie history; forget that he takes his shirt off in every other scene, often with zero motivation; forget that the Mount Olympus scenes are obviously shot in New York; forget even that the acting is of such monumental ineptitude that James Karen (one of the worst actors in "Return of the Living Dead") is far and away the finest thespian in sight.
Most porn movies are produced with more consideration for plot.I recommend "Hercules in New York" to anyone who likes to go to the dentist or enjoys a hard punch in the nose.
A film of at times incredible and hilarious ineptitude (scenes of the "gods" on Mount Olympus are interrupted constantly by the sounds of honking horns, which are often louder than the heavenly dialogue) saved to some extent by the sincere starring duo of Stang and Schwartzenneger (whose voice is dubbed in the theatrical version, perhaps unintentionally making this film funnier for those like myself who've seen more than a few Italian "pec epics").
Try to count how many times Arnie says "I am Hercules" (as if to convince HIMSELF that he's truly acting), and if you can make it to the end I'll give you a cracker or something.You gotta love this film..
That the dumb body builder who played "Hercules" could possibly end up where he is today...........(If you had been watching this movie in 1970 and somebody had said to you, "that guy is going to be a great star AND the future Governor of California" you would have laughed until you peed yourself!).
Better laughs are rarely found, and besides it is a suitable tribute to Arnold to watch this one from start to finish, a never forgotten movie in history, and it really sucks!
It's night, but no, actually, it's day most of the time, they just forgot to shoot some parts of it, so it's day, and Hercules has to save a precious young lady from a wild bear that escaped from the zoo...the only problem is that the thing never looks like a real bear.
You can't deny that Arnie has an amazing physique.It's a(n) homage to New York and a reflection of the late 20th Century It is some of the worst acting you will ever see and there is a total absence of decent special effects.So bad it's good, see it now!.
Its obvious Arnie could'nt speak barely any English and it just adds to the humour, some of the acting is just appalling the grisly bear fight will stay in my mind forever, the actor in the suit acts more like a gorilla than anything and as soon as Arnie sees the poor bear he begins to beat the crap out of it, well more of a play wrestle than anything then his girlfriends actress trys to faint....
Ignore the non-existent plot and acting and just roll along on the river of cheese in a film that is so bad it is hilarious.Three is a low score, yes.
Yes it is probably one of the worst movies of all time, but the films many short comings make it extremely funny.
Funny seeing this 1969 film with Arnold sounding like he was dubbed with a deep voiced actor who was a regular Godzilla film /Shaw Brothers Dubber Actor !!!Back then the Austrian Oak had won Mr. Universe several times and came up short in Mr. Olympia behind the Myth, Sergio Oliva !!!
When Arnold competed in the Mr. Olympia the next year , he would win and dominate for the next 6 years !!!I watched Hercules in New York on Comet-TV today and was surprised to hear Arnold's real voice and not the dubbed voice that I remember from the VHS movie, Hercules Goes Bananas !!!I mean I'm a big fan of Sword and Sandals Films and Arnold Schwartzenegger Films but this Particular Farce of a Film just didn't get me pumped up like his others !!!
First up is Hercules In New YorkPlot In A Paragraph: Hercules (Arnie) is sent to Earth, where he finds true love and starts a career in the bodybuilder business.In his feature film debut, Arnie is billed as Arnold Strong in the movie's credits, The DVD obviously has Schwarzenegger in huge letters across the top, and his voice is dubbed.The premise behind Hercules in New York is certainly strong enough to carry a movie, especially a comedy like this one, but it's very cheaply made, the scene with Hercules fighting a grizzly bear has to be seen to be believed, and no matter how bad the performance, everything seems to be the only take they filmed.
Over a decade before his movie career exploded and eight years before even Pumping Iron, Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in this cheapie B comedy playing the Greek demigod Hercules, who has been banned from Olympus by Zeus.
Schwarzenegger can barely speak a line of coherent English at this point (the film is probably more commonly seen with his performance dubbed, but his original voice is available nowadays).
Falling from the sky into the sea, Hercules is picked up by a ship travelling to New York, where he meets friendly pretzel salesman Pretzie (played by Arnold Stang, the voice of Hanna-Barbera's Top Cat), falls in love with professor's daughter Helen (Deborah Loomis), enters a strongman competition against bodybuilder Monstro (Tony Carroll), and upsets local mobsters in the process.Arnold Schwarzenegger's screen debut is shoddy nonsense that will test the patience of all but the most dedicated Arnie fan.
Production values are incredibly low, most notably in the scenes set on the supposedly tranquil paradise of Mount Olympus (actually filmed in Central Park), where the props are cheap and nasty and the action is frequently interrupted by the sound of New York traffic and car horns.That said, Hercules in New York is almost worth seeing just for the hilarious sight of the future governor of California wrestling a grizzly bear (actually a man in a very unconvincing moth-eaten bear costume).Also look out for a guy who looks a lot like John Candy (the jury is still out on whether the bloke in question is actually the portly Canadian comedian in an uncredited role, but I wouldn't have blamed Candy one bit for not owning up if it was him)..
Arnold in his prime body builder form makes an interesting choice with an impossible to understand accent.As Hercules struggles through New York in the modern times, he met with users and abusers who would try to take advantage of a god-like naivety.
With sets about as convincing as an F-grade porn production, acting so wooden you could easily pass it off as construction material and a soundtrack so ear-splittingly awful that it'll likely make you scream in agony, Hercules in New York is definitely a classic in the "so bad it's good" category.
I'm giving it 2 stars on a "real" grade scale because of its camp appeal, but that doesn't mean it's not an entirely enjoyable film.This is Arnold Schwarzenegger's first screen role, and you can really tell: his delivery is stiff as a frozen tree, his expression more dead than a zombie that's had its head removed, and his English is nearly incomprehensible gibberish that will make you laugh at every turn ("I am tired of ze zame old zings!").Everything else in this movie goes wrong too in about a 100,000 ways: for example, the gods are supposed to be Greek, but they often refer to their comrades by their Roman names, which were invented centuries after ancient Greece's prime.
Sponsored by the Tooniversal Company, this piece of cinema is fun to watch for nostalgia purposes only.This is Arnold Schwarzenegger's first film debut as the man who is part god, and part human.
Whatever.Along with Schwarzenegger is Arnold Stang, who plays a character called Pretzie, a wimpy man who carries a basket of pretzels in the first part of the film that he's seen.
The other part that is nostalgic about this film is to see what SOME of New York looked like back then, but that's about all the viewer will get.What makes this movie so awkward are how the scenes are done.
What shocks me even more is that the director of this film is still making movies today!Hercules in New York is a very silly kid's movie that may not even entertain the smallest of ages.
Hercules in New York was a pretty bad movie though the actual Schwarzenegger's voice-dubbed version was the most interesting of the two.
With today the day Maria Shriver officially files for divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger (serves him right too since he betrayed her by cheating on her with the maid and had a baby with her, to boot!), I thought I'd watch the former Governator's first movie that he made way back in 1969-Hercules in New York.
I saw two versions: the first that I watched on Hulu had no music score and Arnold's voice was badly dubbed by another though compared to his real one, you could hear each word clearly and the second one I saw on YouTube which had his accented voice not always easy to understand (which made his confused mix-up on "bucks" and "dough" with "bucs" and "doe" not as funny) though it had a good Greek-like score.
So on that note, Hercules in New York is interesting for the early role of Mr. Schwarzenegger, not to mention his thick accent, and not much else though one can't completely hate a movie where Hercules fights an obviously bear-suited man.
And what a laugh!The man is totally failing in every aspect of acting and his speech is so bad that it becomes absolutely funny.That's where the charm of this movie lies cause in every other way it is a bad 90 minutes of celluloid.The story sucks,the acting is worse and the camera-work is terrible.Nevertheless,a must see for everyone who wants to know something about cinema and it's rather strange history.We had to wait another 10 years before Arnie came back in a big way with Conan the Barbarian.Cinema history,for sure,although it will never be written down in any book about the subject..
Imagine having a young Arnold Schwarzenegger (whose command of English was MUCH worse than when he did his movies in the 1980s) playing a Greek god who comes to New York for a few laughs!
BUT, for people who like watching stupid films and laughing at them, then they are in for a treat with HERCULES IN NEW YORK!
In an alternate version of the film, Arnie is dubbed with god-like hamminess by an uncredited voice artist; reports suggest the movie is even funnier this way!.
Like Dungeons and Dragons or The Room this is one of those movies that are just full of Its So Bad Its Good moments that keep me entertained throughout the film.
Arnold is Hercules in New York in the human world and in peril is a pretty basic synopsis but the ridiculous use of cinematography and sound make this film a riot..
Hercules in New York is my favourite bad movie of all time.
Here's why I think it's a work of absolute genius.The perfect cast - you get Arnie as a Greek god, he's got the body for it but not the accent and if you think he sounds a bit Austrian these days you should hear him back when this movie was made.
In this scene the guy in the bear suit is met with two immediate challenges - 1) how can I stop this pitiful bear suit from falling off me and 2) The strongest man in the universe is beating the crap out of me with rather too much enthusiasm like maybe he doesn't realise this is just acting.Brilliant fun from start to finish, probably one of the funniest bad movies ever - If I ever feel sad I watch this film, it always works..
Ever heard the phrase, "it's so bad that it's good?" Well whoever said that never saw Hercules in New York.You know the different factors one takes when analysing a film?
Worthless camerawork, and i think the director was on one big coffee brake during the filming of this movie.Anyway, Arnold is extremely hilarious with lines as "HA-HA!
Yes, The Oak from Austria (in this movie still known as Arnold Strong) is making his way to the great white screen!His accent at the time was so bad, that the audio-dub of his voice was re-done by some American guy, but lucky me, I got my hands on the original one!I hardly understand a word he's saying, and his annoying gnome-buddy Pretzie isn't doing the job quite well either.
YOU HAVE STRUCK HERCULES!" and also its funny because the dubbed arnies voice because they did not like his accent.
The rumor I always heard was that he could not speak English at the time of filming, but I swear that it is most definitely, the "It's not a toomah" voice.Not that it makes it any better a movie, it's still a big load of cheese.
Hercules in New York was Arnold Schwarzenegger's first film, and while not really good, it did open up the world of movies to him.
If you enjoyed such "classic", dare I say, films like "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians" then you'll love Hercules in New York, which co-stars Arnold Stang as "Pretz" I believe was his name.
As bad as the film is i still found it one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time,the acting is awful, the plot does not really make any sense at all.their is a scene where Arnie is fighting a bear (I'd watch the whole film just for that scene).if you are a fan of Arnie or just bad acting then this is the film for you.this film deserves a higher rating,10/10 comedy.I found myself in a laughing fit every few minutes its that good/bad?
Maybe I just got the wrong version, but Schwarzenegger can barely speak English in this movie (I've heard somewhere that he was dubbed).Not just acting and low budget makes the movie the one of the worst ever, I bet it was thought as some hobby-project, the camera adjustments are cheap and bad.
Anyway, you might as well see this movie if you want a lesson in bad film-making.
"Hercules in New York", the first movie to star Arnie, kind of makes you wonder how the guy ever got a movie career going.