Skeleton Man
Tags: humor

Plot synopsis:
The film opens with an archaeologist looking at some artifacts he has dug up from an Indian burial ground. Among these items is the skull of an Indian chief, Skeleton Man appears through a portal and kills the archaeologist. Skeleton Man then chases the archaeologist's assistant to a power plant, killing her and the two men working there.
Skeleton Man, now on horseback, kills a soldier and chases his partner. Before being killed, the second soldier manages to record a video and send it back to his bosses. They receive it and send in Delta Force to deal with this unknown threat.
As they advance, a female soldier falls behind and is impaled through the chest. The team finds an old Indian man who tells them that Skeleton Man, known as Cottonmouth Joe, was a genocidal warrior who killed the old man's tribe and is now stalking the soldiers. The team pays him no heed.
Meanwhile, Cottonmouth Joe slaughters the workers at an oil pumping station. That night, two sentries are also killed (but are technically MIA as their bodies are never found). The team's scout (Casper Van Dien) also disappears.
The next day, the team encounters Cottonmouth Joe. The heavy weapons specialist charges him but is killed and the team opens fire to no effect. A support helicopter of Citizen's Militia is also destroyed. One man goes to recover the heavy weapons specialist's body but finds it missing. The squad then discovers the team scout, whom they accidentally shot in the firefight (Cottonmouth Joe having captured him and put him in a location to be shot). The team tries to lure their adversary into a trap, but run out of ammo. Another trooper is killed, as is the team sharpshooter who has her skull crushed by a tomahawk.
The two remaining troopers (Captain Leary (Michael Rooker) and Lt. Scott (Sarah Ann Schultz)) again try to lure Cottonmouth Joe into a trap to no avail. Skeleton man ends his pursuit of them and heads to a nearby chemical plant where he kills several workers, two guards, the manager and several scientists. The two remaining soldiers arrive and find the place surrounded by law enforcement. Captain Leary takes a sheriff's Armsel Striker and goes to confront the undead adversary. After a cat-and-mouse chase through the chemical plant, Captain Leary lures Cottonmouth Joe into a generator room and blows him up with electric current.
As the film's credits begin to roll, they suddenly reverse and show Skeleton Man back on his horse in the woods, thus indicating that he has survived.

Review: There was barely a plot, unless "Shaggy dog story with a guy in a rain poncho and skeleton mask instead of a dog" counts.The editing was was all over the place, and the slow-mo shots of the "gore" (red corn syrup flying through the air--doubtless flung using a spoon) got irritating after the tenth time, and infuriating after the hundredth time.I like Michael Rooker.
The Skeleton Man rode a horse throughout the movie, which amazingly, could change color at will.
The scientist Charles and his wife (or assistant) Marissa receive some objects and a skull from an ancient Indian cemetery, and while cleaning a vase, they are attacked and murdered by a mysterious being, the Skeleton Man. Then, a military squad commanded by Captain Leary (Michael Rooker) seeks out two groups of four soldiers each that vanished in the jungle.
Then the Skeleton Man goes to a power plant, and Captain Leary explodes the facility destroying the supernatural being.I bought "Skeleton Man" on DVD expecting to see a funny trash, but I found an awfully boring, annoying and senseless crap, with shoots and explosions.
I have personally experienced the condition of cottonmouth (often accompanied by a really bad hangover after a weekend bender) and it is indeed a lot like the movie Skeleton Man -- a dry, scummy film that provokes regret for recent choices and begs for a hot shower.It is unfortunate that the choice of "Skeleton Man" for the title was finalized by the distributor (probably the work of some meddling Hollywood no nothing studio exec who just didn't get it) and not "Cottonmouth Joe." Those of us who have seen the film know that the Skeleton Man is actually Cottonmouth Joe (a skeletal-manish apparition, not a true Skeleton Man).
Imagine this: when future filmmakers get together to create the true definitive Skeleton Man movie and need a title, they will be totally screwed and we are all, as serious fans of the genre, diminished for that.Cottonmouth Joe could've become a horror movie icon right up there alongside Madman Marz, Black Claw, Mansquito, Humongous, "Nature Boy" Billy Conners, Morty the wooden doll, the Boogen, Eegah, The Moon Beast, Bloody Bill, the Driller Killer, Mickey Rooney, and so forth, but he will always be remembered as a sword wielding-caped-tackle dummy skull face-tied to the side of a horse-skeleton man wannabe.That's too bad..
I mean really, what is not to love about a poorly dressed skeleton man running along, shooting his bow and arrows at Helicopters and causing them to crash and explode.
In the movie the special forces team have their guns with unlimited ammo and try to shoot him, but in the end the all miss because Skeleton Man deflected all of them.3.
Anytime someone asks me what is the worse movie I've ever seen, Skeleton Man always comes to mind.I tell people to watch just to see how dumb it is.
It is probably good for a laugh if you like horrible movies.Or maybe it would be amusing if you were on drugs.
I'm pretty sure my 15 year old nephew could make something better on his computer.So if you are in the mood to see how bad a movie can be, and you can download it or whatever for free, then go for it!.
I don't really know what else to say but that if you see one movie this year be sure it is Skeloton Man!!!!!!!!p.s. i have read all the other reviews of this movie and i cant believe that people could find this movie bad.
My step-dad asked if the movie was going to be just the Skeleton Man running around killing people.
The Skeleton-Man also kills military guys in a hidden army lab, a rescue team with cute girls, destroys a helicopter by shooting arrow and booms up a truck in some highway -- all in his jungle, all by himself.The characters in this story speak lines like "Over here", "He went through here...", "There he is!" or "I need back-up" most of the times and that is the screenplay.
I'd-almost-rather-watch-Uwe-Boll-filmography-kind-of-film.In a word, bad!Skeleton Man is what happens when you give money to people that have no idea how films, or even more broadly, stories function.
The villain, supposedly an undead Indian warrior spirit, who actually looks more like a fourteen-year-old fanboy cosplaying as Skeletor from He-Man. Seriously, I could buy a more convincing skull mask from any carnival store in existence.
Did they simply decide not to re-shoot the scenes with the hilariously wrong cape after the right one had arrived?Secondly, the actors and the characters are some of the worst I've ever seen.
It is hard to believe in the cast or the movie when you set it up to fail with bad writing the writer needs to find another job.I gave it a 6 because you have a great cast and the makings of a good movie but you need the audience to believe in the characters and believe they are there and what would they do.
Finally, what possible successful effect could the fiery conclusion have had?That said, some of the we-have-been-warned Violence scenes are excellent, the mountain scenery is lovely, and enough gore is spilled to fertilize these woods for some time to come.
From a wiped out archaeologist to a crack-addicted tramp being called a native Indian, with a patchwork of so-called soldiers facing a poorly nicknamed skeleton living in a parallel *cough* dimension, it's like a puzzle you must solve where all the pieces clearly belong to the same scene but don't match together.
While I daresay it's not as bad as "Nine Lives" or "Hell's Threshold", it surely does go from "this has potential" to "what the heck" in record time.The potential is obvious: a film starring Michael Rooker, known for such great genre films as "Slither" and "Henry".
While I disliked this film greatly, and I cannot see many people liking it, (except for creepy male teenagers) I get angry when people expect something from SCI-Fi channel, It is a bloody made-for-t.v. movie staring low-B actors!
It's a horror film, set in the woods, it has a stupid title, but hey "Michael Rooker" is in it, and he has been a part of some great horror flicks, I know he wouldn't steer me wrong....
This movie (Skeleton Man) looked interesting to me so I recorded it.
..The only scene that was a little interesting was at the end, when the Skeleton Man was on horse back in the woods, a little eerie..
Then after 5 minutes realized I didn't miss a thing.Anyway, it made me think of a thread concerning good actors appearing in bad films when you would think they would have enough experience and professional guidance to avoid the flops.
Gimme back the 95 minutes of my life that I just wasted, please.OK, let's boil things down...A really bad excuse for a plot - check No continuity - check An Indian warrior using a sword, despite the fact that Indians to the best of my knowledge didn't have swords - check Guns mysteriously appearing and disappearing - check Using a scope with the lens cap still on - check The robe...
They couldn't even afford their own make up team/person for the incredible lousy actors, so they at least looked the same in the same scene, which I might add, were shot over several days, since the actors had problems being able to say one credible line during this film.One advice to the director/investors: do NOT quit your day-jobs!.
Did Rooker or Van Diem pay to be in this flick, 'cause I can't imagine that anyone paid them to do this movie.How many bullets do you have to use before you realize they ain't doin' a blessed thing?
As such, the scenes don't mesh together well at all, and I was confused every five minutes trying to figure out "why did we just jump to that scene?" I missed the first half hour, so I still have no idea why the thing-a-ma-bob was killing people in the woods, and then changed its mind and went after some chemical plant out in the middle of nowhere.DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME..
The blood and gore carnage the skeleton man spreads would make Freddy and Jason look like saints.
As of this writing, Skeleton Man takes on the distinction of being the WORST movie I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of bad ones.
And what about the skeleton man's outfit (which looks like it was bought straight off the shelf of K-Mart)?
One thing that this movie provides us with when it comes to the main characters group and "Predator" didn't are 4 not bad looking girls with mean guns.
It have no suspense whatsoever, no sense, it's badly acted (yet I liked Rooker), special effects are like taken from a movie made 30-40 years ago, it shows no logic in what characters do, scenes are packed together in a box, mixed and showed at random.
The acting was bad, the story was terrible, the stunts and "action scenes" if you want to call them that were absolutely horrendous.
I'll be honest, I knew from the idea that it was not going to be great, but I saw it because I wanted to see if Skeleton Man could at least be better as a movie than the idea it sprung from.
Although I have seen about 5 bad SyFy movies in a row, Skeleton Man in my opinion has to be the worst.
And Skeleton Man is a joke, and a bad, cheap and completely lacking in menace, and I do think the film could've done at least with an adequate explanation of how the horse could change colour at will.
I mean, the killer who is apparently a dead Indian warrior or something is using a nice ax that looks like it was purchased at Walmart along with the mask and cape.So, this film did move fast and it featured a lot of kills, but for the most part it was a disappointment thanks to the horrible cheap look of the film, the cheap looking monster and the fact that you cast these bimbos and do not show some skin!
It makes you wonder where they got the funds to recruit the likes of Michael Rooker, Casper Van Dien, and Nils Allen Stewart, who are only a few of the recognizable names that have made there way into this film.The pyrotechnics are far better then what this move should have had.
Don't get me wrong in this day and age a horror movie without CGI can be a welcomed treat, but in Skeleton Man that is not the case and you start to wonder if maybe there should have been more effects that could have made it a better movie.As for are friend Cotton Mouth Joe I've seen better costumes on Halloween night.
Like to view most of Michael Rooker's films, in this particular film he plays a real tough and ready for action Captain in the U.S. Army, and has a few gals and guys with him trying to find out just who is murdering all these people in a certain wooded area of the country.
They beat on the guys for some reason, then they go away.Some other stuff happens, people mumble, the camera shakes, etc.I think it comes to an end eventually.My theory is that the Sci-Fi Channel is getting a little annoyed with everyone bashing their movies, so they put this out to remind us all how bad movies can really be.
Like, you think our movies are bad?
let's talk about the weak points of the script (SPOILERS to follow -- but I'd suggest it's impossible to spoil this movie).* The co-ed special forces team sent to stop CMJ contains an "underwater demolitions expert"...
They completely botch pretty much every aspect of military tactics and strategy, police tactics, weapons, science, folklore, common sense, and human behavior (outside of B movies, that is.) In short, I can't think of any non-trivial thing they got right.Any movie would have its work cut out for it when its central premise is a supernatural spirit, impervious to all small arms, able to disappear into another dimension at will, and yet apparently vulnerable to simply a bigger explosion.
As a helpful warning for others, I believe "Skeleton Man" is actually worse than "Raptor Island." I have been using RI as an example of the worst original movie presented on the Sci-Fi channel, but SM is the most laughably incoherent and wretchedly designed movie I have yet seen.
Once Skeleton Man and the surviving platoon leader (or whatever he was--I'm not good on military unit terminology) reached the chemical plant, the movie moved into a zone of impossible nonsense that was almost mesmerizing.
Then we cut to the woods with a bad imitation of Predator, only the commandos are being hunted down by Halloween Costume Man who is now riding a horse!
I've just finished watching your SciFi Channel Original "Skeleton Man" and, once again, you've shown a blatant lack of respect for my feelings by KILLING OFF EVERY HOT GIRL IN THIS MOVIE!!!
And we also fully expect that nothing -- bullets, explosions, electrocution, nothing -- can kill Skeleton Man until there is one minute left in the movie and we need to find a way to tie things up neatly.
Because this movie, as silly as it is, has the potential to be a "so-bad-it's-good" classic and just killing off all the hotties ruins everything -- and forces me to lower its rating.
After two archaeologists and a team of military his sword (!) Have fallen victim to be an undercover team of Special Forces, led by Captain Leary (Michael Rooker) and Staff Sgt Oberron (Casper Van Dien) charged with the murder to put an end to ...It is completely funny film.
I mean sure if you are one of those people who don't see the point in B-type horror or other films like this then this is not for you.
Aside from the dumbest story line and stupid characters (An angry guy wearing a Halloween skeleton mask possessing super powers like one-shot-kill-a-helicopter-with-a-bow, riding a horse or horses using a SWORD!!!
as a weapon that kills every one he sees, an undercover for an unknown reason delta force team hiking in the forest and some unlucky victims for the "Skeleton Man") one of the things that got on my nerves the most in this movie was the music.
I wanted to throw my TV out the window every time "Skeleton Man" killed someone.
The movie looks like either the director is 7 years old or they actually tried to make it that bad (I think that even with a bigger budget a lot bigger it would still suck).
Before I saw this movie I have seen only one movie with Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers 1997) and thought that (since I liked that movie) he was a good actor, but when I have seen this movie (Skeleton Man) my opinion changed drastically (Of course it changed even more when I saw Starship Troopers 3 Marauder).
I almost feel bad for those involved with Skeleton Man, because it is, in fact, the new standard for terrible movies.
SKELETON MAN was okay for the first 5 minutes but as soon as the so-called "Special Force Agents" hit the screen, it went down hill faster than a fat kid on a sled.The opening makes us think we might have a corny, yet fun, horror flick on our hands but no...the film makers ruin any hope of that when the "Special Force Agents" show up.
This abysmal junk strikes out something rotten in every possible way: the flat (mis)direction by Johnny Martin, draggy pace, idiotic and nonsensical script by Frederick Bailey (in one especially ridiculous sequence Cotton Mouth Joe butchers a bunch of folks in a power plant), cardboard characters, mostly insipid acting by an understandably unenthused cast, annoying shuddery score by Chris White, the lousy (far from) special effects, tacky gore, badly staged action scenes, a crippling dearth of tension, a few clumsy flashbacks, tin-eared dialogue ("I don't wanna die, man -- I wanna go home!"), a by-the-numbers obvious and predictable plot which shamelessly copies the much superior "Predator," and a titular spectral killer who looks like he's wearing a chintzy Grim Reaper costume that was purchased for five bucks at a K-Mart Halloween firesale all add up to one extremely shoddy dud that reeks worse than dirty old socks.
The Indian skeleton man warps around with bad graphics, and then ends up killing poor guys in a power station.
This movie looks and feels like a tax write off.
I do not know why so many think this is a bad movie.
The skeleton man was cool in his outfit and the horse also looked to be zombie like.
As for the eagle scenes , the eagle was suppose to be the spirit of the bad dead Indian which was linked to the skeleton man.
I guess from all the bad reviews you have to like a certain type of horror film to enjoy this one.
The film's point-of-view through the Skeleton Man's eyes looks at his prey with a different color.
The Fun of Skeleton Man. This movie was so awful I was laughing from beginning to end.
Another great scene was when the Skeleton man takes out an Army helicopter with a wooden bow and arrow.
* Infrared vision - Predator *"Mary Mother of God, what are you?" - Predator *"If it breathes, I can kill it." - Predator * Elite military team searching for ghost killer - Predator * Skeleton Man - NOT PREDATOR This movie...ay carumba!.
Skeleton Man takes "watching a movie because you have nothing else to do" to a new low.
I love this movie because whenever I need a good chuckle, I need only to utter, "Skeleton Man."