Microwave Massacre
Tags: violence, murder, comic

Plot synopsis:
Donald (Vernon) is a construction worker with a big problem: his shrew of a wife May (Claire Ginsberg) has started to only cook gourmet foods in a Hyacinth Bucket-style misguided effort to make themselves seem classier than they are. While his friends Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Phillip (Al Troupe) dine on simple bologna-and-cheese sandwiches for lunch, Donald is saddled with crab sandwiches and other cooking atrocities. To his horror, he discovers his wife has bought an unusually large Major Electric microwave oven, which makes the meals worse in half the time.
After coming home drunk one night and getting into an argument with May, Donald loses his temper and bludgeons her to death with a large pepper grinder. He wakes up the next day with a bad hangover, no memory of the night before, and a growling stomach. He discovers May's corpse in the microwave and after the initial wave of horror passes, he starts to take it in stride, telling his co-workers that he and May separated. After work, he then cuts up May's body and stores it in foil wrap in the fridge. A running gag involving May's head retaining some sort of sentience is introduced during this scene.
Looking for a midnight snack one night, Donald unintentionally takes a few bites of May's hand, and (again) after the initial wave of horror passes, he realizes it's the best thing he's ever eaten. He even brings some to work with him and shares it with Phillip and Roosevelt, who concur. He soon starts picking up hookers and using them for meat in his recipes.
While cooking one night, Donald has a mild heart attack and goes to his doctor, who tells him of a pacemaker that was put in when he had some excess weight, but says he is fine overall. May's equally shrewish sister Evelyn (Sarah Alt) shows up, having not heard from her sister in some time. She finds her head, and is gagged with bread and thrown, tied up, in Donald's closet.
Donald's lunches continue to be a hit with his friends, and he decides to cater an outing to a wrestling match with a new recipe he calls "Peking chick." When Roosevelt and Phillip show up to pick up Donald, they discover him dead on the floor of a heart attack, and some body parts in the microwave. They leave in horror and disgust, realizing what Donald had been serving them.
Some time later, the house is up for sale and movers are taking the furniture out. A repairman examines the microwave and discovers a problem with the wires, commenting that it would be bad for someone with a pacemaker. We then zoom into the fridge, which opens to reveal May's head. Her eyes glow orange as the film ends.

Review: It makes Ed Wood (R.I.P.) movies look like the best movies out there.The movie follows a construction worker named Donald as he kills his wife when he is mad at her and accidentally eats some of her flesh while looking for a snack.
Far from being the worst horror film of all time, and really not much of a horror movie at all but more of a black comedy for lack of a better description.
Jackie Vernon plays Donald whose wife refuses to give him solid, working-man food but rather inundates his lunch box with crab sandwiches and other gourmet meals.
From there he realizes he loves the taste and begins to eat women all the time(yes, that pun and every possible one under the sun was used in the film!).
If you are renting a movie titled "Microwave Massacre" hopefully it means A)you have a campy appreciation for bad movies, or B) You are so stupid that title actually might mean a quality film to you.
For me the irreverence of "Frosty the Snowman" doing these perverted acts was very funny...unfortunately one joke can't carry a movie.
This film NEVER takes itself too seriously, just look at who is playing the lead character...Frosty the Snowman himself Mr. Jackie Vernon (or as he is more commonly known old "Mush Mouth") How can anyone be terrified by this man?
The acting is awful, the effects are hideous and the jokes are lame but all of this adds to the chaotic fun that is known as "Microwave Massacre".
You have been warned, this is the most awesomely bad movie in cinema history...but also the most fun...watch it with some sort of chemical assistance, trust me it helps!.
Described by its original DVD distributor as "The Worst Horror Movie of All Time", this 1983 black comedy doesn't quite live up to that promise, but it's a close thing.
The painted cover art is fantastic, and typically unrepresentative of the lousy content of the film.Donald (Jackie Vernon) is a depressed, disillusioned construction worker who returns each evening to his frumpy, nagging wife, May (Claire Ginsberg).
She feels she doesn't get the gratitude she deserves for "slaving away" at her new microwave all day.One night Donald snaps and murders May. Naturally, the only way he can destroy the evidence is by cooking and eating her.
Combined with the film's weirdly languid pace and Leif Horvath's eerie electronic score, it's quite an unsettling experience – although this is mostly due to it being an outright tonal disaster, rather than any controlled sense of atmosphere.With the humour and delivery of a 70s sketch show, it's a movie badly in need of canned laughter, if only to inform us of when we're supposed to laugh.
Genuine humour comes in the briefest of snatches: Donald's encounter with Dr Van der Fool (Ed Thomas), who doesn't know which side the heart is on; or the scene where May's sister stops by and Donald has to prop May's disembodied head in the bed to pretend she's still alive ("She looks awful pale...").It's a movie of a mercifully bygone era in which all the women are nags or sluts, although this is par for the course in trash horror of the time.
Given that the microwave was just becoming a household essential in the 80s, promising the death of the conventional cooker, this has to go down as an opportunity missed – we get none of the consumerist satire of The Stuff, nor the grotesque farce of the more enjoyably outrageous Street Trash.Microwave Massacre just about claws its way into the midnight movie slot through a certain uniqueness and, frankly, its brevity (it comes in at around 75 minutes).
But the death comes with the face of her art, the cooking and to be more specific, the microwave she orders from the first place The rest is history and you should rent or buy this movie to find out You will enjoyed this ONLY if you are a true fan of horror comedies and independent cinema.
If a movie is "bad", but still entertains me, I think it's good.
Stand up comedian and sometime actor Jackie Vernon had his last movie role in this laugh riot camp horror film.
Jackie plays Donald, a construction worker whose wife May (Claire Ginsberg) is trying to get him to eat her experimental dinners.
He comes to realize that he likes the taste of human flesh, so goes out and kills more people to feed his newfound appetites.Written and produced by Craig Muckler and Thomas Singer, and directed by Wayne Berwick, "Microwave Massacre" is a pretty tasty morsel when it comes to horror comedy.
We have a hooker named Dee Dee Dee (Lou Ann Webber), a psychiatrist (John Harmon, who'd acted for director Berwicks' father Irvin in things like "The Monster of Piedras Blancas" and "Malibu High"), a doctor with the childish moniker of Von Der Fool (Ed Thomas), a hottie foreigner (Anna Marlowe) who makes a living dancing in a chicken costume, Donalds' fellow construction workers Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Philip (Al Troupe), and Sam (Phil De Carlo), a grumpy bartender who doesn't want to hear his patrons' sob stories.
Ginsberg is perfect as the kind of nagging wife that would drive any husband mad.This movie keeps coming up with enough wacky and irreverent shtick to sustain it through a very reasonable one hour 17 minutes run time.
Perhaps he was inspired by this film to be a movie maker, but then failed, so he decided to eat people instead.
If Hitler had only gotten into architecture school, his monstrosities might only have been architectural.I suppose this review is a warning: don't see this movie if you don't want to remember campy, kitschy horror scenes for the rest of your life..
Construction worker Donald (Jackie Vernon) is having a hard time getting anything good to eat since his wife has decided to only cook gourmet foods.
And different meats.AllMovie wrote, "Despite utterly failing as comedy, horror and pornography, Microwave Massacre is grotesque enough in design and attitude to be fascinating, much like a car accident." That summary is perfect.
"Microwave Massacre" is bad in almost every way, especially Vernon's acting.
The drive-through scene is especially humorous, and for those who know Vernon mostly as Frosty the Snowman's voice, this will twist what you think of Frosty.Now, maybe not too much should be expected for a film with a budget under $100,000.
So that might make this film's background a bit more interesting...The producers originally wanted Rodney Dangerfield, but ended up with Jackie Vernon.
His acting is awful, and actually the worst thing about the film, but he does offer a few ad libs.
I love bad movies as much as anyone, but for me this really is not one of the great forgotten gems.Regardless, Arrow Video has done what they do best and put their heart and soul into making this as good as it can be.
There is a brand new 2K restoration from the original camera negative, which looks pretty good for such a low budget film.
(Because Muckler has certain phrases he uses a lot, the commentary would make a great drinking game.) Lastly, we have "My Microwave Massacre Memoirs" a new making-of featurette including interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein.
(Hmmm...as if any of the other actors are convincing.) I/m sure that this film probably wouldn't have been made at all if he hadn't been attached to the project, but he's just not very good/interesting/funny in his role.On the bright side, the producers somehow managed to scrape together quite a few pretty good-looking women and get them to take their tops of.
Oh, yeah...and it's not at all scary or even gross.The only big question that I had after watching this was, "How did the huge, industrial microwave fit into that little shipping box that you see in the beginning of the movie?" Recommended for people who are tired of artsy-fartsy horror films..
The terribly annoying construction worker Donald, who loves old-fashioned baloney and cheese sandwiches, is depressed because his wife just bought a gigantic microwave and now just exclusively serves disgusting experimental TV-dishes.
I thought, when I bought this, 'hmm, this looks interesting.' The idea of a comedy with someone microwaving women and eating them sounds quite interesting, it's just to bad that it's really badly, written, acted, shot, directed, etc.
The Massacre of the Microwaves is undoubtedly part of the hooligan movies and without complexes that were filmed in the eighties.Just read the title to know what one is going to find and certainly the film does not disappoint.Absurd situations, grotesque humor, and total lack of budget.The actors of course of a level to the height of what is expected of a film like this.With everything we must recognize that it has the best start that can be seen in a horror film series B, because this movie is horror, NO?.
I suppose they're trying to make a comment on the idea that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", but even that would be hard to argue.It is fairly amusing, and there are some slightly gratifying moments, but overall I think you will find it fairly stupid - (just HOW he becomes a cannibal is as laboured as his motive).The video cover made me think of melting flesh in a microwave, but I had the wrong idea.
We worked our way through most of the obvious ones...the entire Ed Wood canon, Herschel Gordon Lewis, rubber suiters and bad creature features...and for a while it looked as though The Creeping Terror might take the prize.Then we saw Microwave Massacre.
Poor Donald, the regular guy construction worker is tormented by his shrew wife and her insistence on having "gourmet" microwave meals.
Donald is played by comedian Jackie Vernon and the movie is full of classic deadpan one-liners.
I can't really say I went into Microwave Massacre with high expectations, as the film has a barrel load of bad hype; but even so, I really thought it would be better than it actually was.
Donald, the husband, is getting annoyed because his wife keeps cooking silly gourmet food and he wants to eat properly like a man should.
Overall, Microwave Massacre might sound like a fun film - but unfortunately, it isn't.
Jackie Vernon (the voice of Frosty the Snowman) plays Donald, a man who can get no respect from his wife.
Yes, the humor is VERY corny, but it's funny and some of Jackies facial reactions are gut-splitting And although my head will NOT let me giving it a passing grade, my heart for good bad movies will not let me give it a failing one.My Grade: D+ Eye Candy: Marla Simmons, Lou Ann Weber, Anna Marlowe, Cindy Gant, and some unknown nude girl.
OK, why does Microwave Massacre NOT make you want to rush forward to push its candidacy for World's Worst Movie?
You Are What You Eat. Microwave Massacre (1983) ** (out of 4)Donald (Jackie Vernon) is a hard-working construction worker who sadly is married to a not-so-great woman.
Donald finally snaps and kills her and this leads to a new life when he realizes that human flesh is quite good for the body.MICROWAVE MASSACRE is a film that I truly, truly hated the first time I watched it.
I'm sure a lot of people are going to hate the humor style here but if you can get where they're trying to go then MICROWAVE MASSACRE is an interesting, if not completely successful, little film..
A rare comedy / horror film that makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles.
"Microwave Massacre" has the astoundingly awful acting of a John Waters film, along with more one liners than a Rodney Dangerfield comedy.
"Microwave Massacre" falls into that ultra rare class of film that is so bad it's good.
However, if you - like me - are the kind of person willing to go out of their way to see this film, you should know what you're in for and enjoy it.The premise of the movie itself is worth a laugh.
This is definitely a great, funny, satisfying movie if you're into so-bad-its-good movies.I've no idea what to rate it - as a movie it deserves somewhere around 3 or 4.
As a trashy 'so bad its good' movie (sorry to keep using that phrase, I promise that's the last time) it's worth somewhere around 7 or 8.
Throw in some editing that appears to have been done with a lighter and a can of hairspray and Vernon doesn't have a chance of making this one funny.MICROWAVE features a few ridiculous gags and setups, like a naked girl who gets slathered with mayo, covered with a giant piece of wonder bread and then sawed in half.
Well, this totally ineffective and often painfully unamusing clinker makes for a particularly sad example of just how horrendous a horror comedy can be when said necessary skill and expertise never manage to materialize in the film itself.Late, great wiseguy comedian Jackie Vernon portrays a meek, hen-pecked construction worker who offs his peevish wench of a shrewish wife, chops her up into itty-bitty pieces, wraps the body parts up in tin foil, and stuffs the remains in a freezer.
Pretty soon Jackie starts killing comely, flirtatious, available young lasses so he can ravenously eat their sweet delicious meat in order to appease his insatiable sicko appetite.Wayne Beswick's flaccid direction fails to inject any much-needed hopped-up vitality into this tired'n'tasteless tripe, thus letting "Microwave Massacre" crawl along at an excruciatingly gradual and seemingly never-ending lethargic tempo.
How bad can it get to make me hate a movie?" The new barometer for bad has been found and it is Microwave Massacre.Donald (Jackie Vernon, a raunchy comedian who was also the voice of Frosty the Snowman, which still kind of blows my mind) works construction by day and has another job by night: dealing with his wife.
Then, his wife buys a gigantic microwave, which makes even worse meals.Our hero, such as he is, comes home and loses his temper about all the bad meals and ends up killing his wife.
And a visit by his wife's sister, who he has to tie up and gag with bread.Of course, all good - or bad, this movie is Troma level bad - things must come to an end.
MICROWAVE MASSACRE is an extremely broad, bad-taste comedy horror flick about an overweight guy who tires of his wife's bad cooking and decides to bump her off before devouring her body.
It's not one of those intentionally bad movies, it is one where those making it really thought they had something but the end result could not have been what they intended.The story involved mild-mannered Donald (Jackie Vernon), a construction worker whose wife May is intent of elevating herself and Donald to a classier lifestyle.
And lucky for us it didn't end with anything that looked like a sequel could happen.So much is bad about this movie.
As I look back I find nothing that works or is well done here.And yet the movie has a certain charm for fans of really bad films.
When you watch the extras you get a glimpse into those people and what they thought about the movie they were making at the time.Arrow Video has once again saved a cult film from disappearing forever and you have to give them credit for doing so no matter how bad the movie is.
If bad movies make you laugh, make you smile or make you appreciate good movies just that much more than by all means you need to watch this film.
Mmm Hmmmm.Pretty silly movie about a guy who kills his wife because she's a bad cook, puts her in the freezer (which gets more screen time here than any microwave) and then accidentally begins eating her.
Mission accomplished, I guess!The late Jackie Vernon (a former Vegas lounge comedian probably best known as the voice of Frosty the Snowman in that kid's holiday special they run every single year) comes off like a poor man's Rodney Dangerfield in the lead role, in part because of the awful and seldom-amusing dialogue.
Quite a bit of bare breastage in this one, too, including a nude woman on a giant slice of foam bread being smeared with globs of mayonnaise.Any film that boasts right on the box that it's the "worst horror movie of all time" has a mighty big barrel to scrape.
Movies like this, with their intentional bad acting, stupid dialogue, awful one-liners and pea brained visual gags, usually lack the charm and humor of films made by people who went in with good intentions but didn't quite have the talent to pull it off.
Congratulations on making your movie so stupid and awful!"Don't get me wrong, there are many good examples of films that have been able to successfully incorporate some of that wink-wink, nudge-nudge style of self-parody.
As far as being "the worst horror movie of all time" is concerned...
This is one of the most stupid, schlocky B-movies I have ever seen, which means although it's a horrible film it is quite entertaining.
And, of course, when the guy feeds his work buddies the human flesh sandwiches and they're like "Mmm, this sure is good." In terms of really bad B-Movies, Microwave Massacre has little competition.
Jackie Vernon plays Donald a man who just wants a good meal and hates his wife May and her cooking so he decides cannibalism is the best option and boy the effects and makeup are the greatest they are so bad its incredible.
The comedy in this movie hits but in all the wrong places and Jackie Vernon performance is brilliantly bad it seems like he didn't care but at the same time I know the movie a comedy and I think that might have been the aim with his performance.