Not Suitable for Children
Tags: comedy

Plot synopsis:
Jonah (Ryan Kwanten) is a young man without a care in the world. At one of his parties, the power goes out because Jonah has not paid his electric bill, but it gets turned back on thanks to his neighbor. Jonah meets up with Becky (Kathryn Beck) and they retreat up to his room away from the party, only for Becky to find a lump in Jonah's testicle. Jonah goes to see a doctor, who reveals that Jonah has testicular cancer. He tells Jonah that they can remove it in time, but Jonah's upset that he won't be able to father children. The doctor suggests that Jonah uses a sperm bank in the event that he would like to have children after the operation.
Now at a sperm bank, Jonah is left in a room to privately produce his semen. After he is finished, he returns home to his best friends and fellow party hosts, Stevie (Sarah Snook) and Gus (Ryan Corr). When Stevie arrives home from work, Gus blurts out that Jonah has cancer, much to Jonah's dismay. Gus asks if he would still like to have the party scheduled for the coming Friday, and Jonah allows them to keep the date, not wanting to explain his condition to party-goers.
Jonah receives a call from the sperm bank and goes in for a meeting. The nurse explains that Jonah falls into a small percentage of men whose sperm cannot be frozen because of biological complications. Jonah asks what other options there are, now very worried that he will never have children. The nurse replies with, "Well, do you have a girlfriend?"
Jonah then begins the complicated journey of finding a woman to carry his child. He first approaches his ex-girlfriend Ava (Bojana Novakovic) who is disgusted with Jonah for even contacting her. He then tries Becky (or "Stalker Becky" as Gus calls her) who rejects him by claiming she never thought of her and Jonah as a couple. Jonah never tells the girls he asks that he has cancer. Jonah goes back to the doctor to ask for more time and moves his operation three weeks.
Meanwhile, Gus, Stevie, and Jonah realize that hosting parties could be their job. After the power went out in the earlier party and party-goers pitched in to help pay, Gus realizes that the three of them could make a weekly salary if they held a party once a week. Jonah's first "paycheck" is worth over $700.
Jonah then begins making lists of all the women he has ever dated or known and asks them if they would ever consider after his child. He is rejected by all the women he asks. Stevie suggests adoption and Jonah looks into it, but soon figures out that in order to be a candidate for adoption you must have a clean health record, and Jonah has "cancer" written all over his. After having no luck, Stevie suggests that Jonah try an "arrangement" with a woman. Stevie says she knows of a lesbian couple at her work who were looking into sperm donation and sets up a meeting for Jonah. The meeting does not go in Jonah's favour and the couple declines Jonah's offer. Stevie suggests another woman at work who wants a child, but is not married and sets up a meeting with her too. Although Jonah goes home with her, he ends up not sleeping with her. He claims that he was too drunk to have sex and couldn't focus.
Stevie starts to like the idea of an arrangement, especially after Jonah claims that he would give his house to the woman who carried his child. Stevie accidentally tips off Jonah that she would be interested in a deal and sends Jonah out of her room to think.
At the weekly party Stevie stays in her room, claiming that she has a migraine. Jonah calls her and tells her that he would give her anything if she would carry the child. The morning after the party, Jonah receives a text message from Stevie asking him to come to her room. It is revealed that the whole night Stevie stayed up and wrote a contract concerning her and Jonah's deal. Jonah reads through the contract and signs it and Stevie tells him that they have a four-day window that Stevie should be ovulating in.
They book a room at a cheap motel for the four days, with the final being two days before Jonah's operation. Stevie and Jonah go to a pharmacy and buy a syringe because Stevie does not want to have sex with Jonah. Back at the motel, Jonah accidentally breaks the syringe. Stevie says that it should be okay, they just missed the first day of a four-day window. Jonah is frustrated and Stevie gives in and says she is okay with natural. They have sex, and for the rest of the four days they meet at the hotel, have sex, and then stagger their arrival at home so Gus doesn't notice.
On the fifth day while Stevie is at work, she gets her period. She calls Jonah and asks him to meet her outside her work. They get into a fight, with Stevie claiming she was happy her period came because she was having second thoughts anyway. Jonah leaves, realizing he is out of time.
Stevie is absent at the party that night, but Gus has made a call to Ava. Ava arrives at the party, first mad at Jonah for not telling her he had cancer and then says she would carry his child if he wanted. They go upstairs to his room and have sex, but Jonah pulls out at the last moment because he realizes he is in love with Stevie. Jonah leaves to go find her, hoping she is home. Jonah asks Ava to stay in his room. Jonah finds Stevie, but Ava comes out of Jonah's room and Stevie storms off, feeling betrayed. Meanwhile, the police arrive to stop the party.
Jonah catches up to Stevie and tells her that he loves her, but Stevie leaves.
The next morning, Jonah's sister comes to pick him and Gus up for the operation. Jonah is sad at first, but Stevie does show up for moral support. Stevie tells Jonah (in front of Gus, who never suspected anything going on between them) that she thought Jonah would make a great father and he should look into sperm donation or adoption with her. They kiss and Jonah is wheeled away into the operating room. The final line of the movie is, "What the f***." Said by a very confused Gus.

Review: I enjoy a good romantic comedy once on a while.The Australian film industry hasn't done much to make a genuine, funny or exceptional film in the genre, example, "I Love You Too" and "Any Questions For Ben".But hearing good things about this film drew me to it, and as a romantic comedy or not it works.
Its the third film Ryan Kwantan has made in Australia for three years now (after Red Hill and Griff The Invisible).
Its the debut feature for Oscar nominated director Peter Templeman.The Story is about a playboy; Jonah(Ryan Kwantan) who finds out on unusual circumstances that he has testicular cancer, This means he's unable to father children properly after surgery.
So when his sperm sample fails to freeze he decides he quickly needs to have a child in 4 weeks before he can have surgery.
But I must mention actress Sarah Snook really steals the show here proving she's someone to have a high profile in the future.
The film is actually really funny and charming and will be able to beat any Rom Com I'll see for a while.
The rest of the cast is really good along with the character development and smart script.
Its one film I do highly recommend people to see, You'll get what you want!
A different romantic comedy - a love affair with balls..
'Not Suitable For Children' is not what you expect but it's what you need to see.
Filmed in a party atmosphere of young abandon, a serious question is treated with life-affirming humor and served up on a plate of romance by two very good friends.
His script shines with experience, knowledge and unlike many Aussie scripts was obviously given time to stew until it developed the perfect flavor.
Under Peter Templeton direction the film feels very contemporary - Young Australia without a single koala - full of life as they know it in a Sydney polished with affection.
The director made smart, funny, caring, gutsy, real and tender choices which hit their mark, every time.
Each of the cast carry their weight perfectly, especially Ryan Kwanten, Sarah Snook and Ryan Corr.
Their total commitment to and trust in their director and writer was obvious and much appreciated although it looks like they're just having a party - perhaps they were..
I mean what better job than arranging parties and enjoying them.
The best part is that it's not some American cooked up XX movie with prom night( or stuff like that ) rather it has a story and delivers the message very profoundly.
'Not Suitable for Children' is about an amiable slacker who discovers he has testicular cancer (it's a comedy, in case that's not obvious) and will be infertile in a matter of weeks.
He sets about trying to convince his many former sexual partners to have a baby with him.
None of them agree - presumably they don't want a baby by someone who possesses such a questionable taste in hats - but meanwhile, his best friend decides, after holding a baby - just once - that she would like to be a mother.
Ryan Kwanten is appealing as the slacker; Sarah Snook, playing his best friend, looks very much like Australia's then-Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.
It certainly won't tax the viewer's little grey cells (so that'll be the audience and the scriptwriter, then), but it's an amusing and entertaining film..
Sweet, quirky movie.
Jonah (played by Ryan Kwanten) is a young, carefree playboy.
This makes Jonah want to have children, with time of the essence.Sweet, quirky movie.
Good ending, though it is a touch predictable.
Good performances from Ryan Kwanten (of True Blood fame) and Sarah Snook in the lead roles.Great soundtrack, predominantly by the Black Keys..
This film from Down Under is Under Par..
An artificial contrivance is a manufactured problem, one that wouldn't even occur if everyone just sat round a table and had a good old-fashioned chinwag.
The makers of this film certainly have.
They also seem to have mastered the hugely original plot formulas of such as Falling In Love With Your Best Friend and The Girl You Adore Walking In On You With Someone Else And Getting The Wrong Idea.
Smart guys, those writers.Maybe it's because I can't see the appeal of those bug-eyed little bed-wetters, but I couldn't understand the point of this film.
The main couple were cute, and it rumbles along quite nicely, but aside from the predictable to a tee developments, who could make a decision like having a child in just a few short weeks?
Certainly not the irresponsible, party animal main character, and DEFINITELY not his mate-soon-to-be-shagging-partner, who is staunchly against the whole idea...
Yup.Basically I don't have much time for films I feel weren't made with much care and intelligence.
this film sets the bar high.
There's several very good reasons why this romantic comedy is as totally enjoyable as it is...
Sarah Snook..
and Ryan Kwanten.
They are both such great actors, there are little subtle inflections and mannerisms that just cannot be taught or directed, but are the essence of a well acted performance...
and in addition, they are just so well paired in this film (it's hoped they soon get together again).
Working with an enormously entertaining script, you WILL laugh!!
And their love-making scenes are just so totally natural and sincere.
Not usually mentioned, kudos to the outstanding camera and editing crews, their exceptional work in this instance is impossible to ignore, and when its this good it makes the entire film feel totally alive.
This is a movie for adults of all ages...
and btw, listening carefully, it has one of the best accompanying soundtracks in films.
I agree that it's nice to upvote movies from smaller countries for the variety and attention but honesty gets us way further.This movie is just a stupidly written, badly acted, dull and very annoying piece of wannabe comedy.
The main thin is that you can't really relate to or even feel with the story (COME ON, a guy suddenly wants a kid just like that with anybody because he has to.
We really tried to watch the whole movie.
This movie is also not suitable for Children.
There's nudity in it and sexual situations (read baby making activities).
It also has two leads who might remind you of other actors a bit.
In the case of the male lead it might only be me, but he does look a bit like Chris Pratt, who's now gained a lot of Starlord ...
In the case of the female role, she does look a bit like a (better?) version of Lindsay Lohan.Not meaning any of those comparisons in a bad way of course.
And they should not distract too much from the movie/the story this is trying to tell.
It's funny at times and it has heart.
20-something Jonah (played by Ryan Kwanten) is a self-described "f$%*stick".
Stevie (played by Sarah Snook who is being described by several critics as Australia's answer to Emma Stone) is the cynical best friend while Gus (Ryan Corr) is the clueless other best friend.Jonah discovers a lump in his nether regions during sex and after a visit to the doctor, is told that he has testicular cancer.
This turns his whole carefree, in the moment, partying world upside down and leaves him considering whether he really wants a baby or not.
The catch is he only has a matter of weeks before the operation.Feeling like his future has been snatched from him, he goes through his list of ex's and humorously tries to convince them to be the mother of his unborn child.
Stevie and Gus are both supportive but concerned about the lengths that Jonah is going to in his insane quest over this newfound dream of being a father.
Covering some truths of conceiving and cancer, this film doesn't stray too far from the beaten track.
There are moments of great and awkward comedy, especially played out by Gus who seems to forever linger a bit too much while not having a clue what's happening around him.The success lies in the chemistry between the friends, mainly Jonah and Stevie.
Stevie thrives in this with the moments between her and Jonah feeling natural and real, rather than a forced progression in the story.The dialogue is unassuming but still effective and Sarah Snook and Ryan Kwanten show the complexities of each seemingly simple moment.Fun fact: Sarah Snook was one of a handful of finalists to play Lisbeth Salander in the 2011 Girl with a Dragon Tattoo.Despite how basic this movie may sound, it's definitely worth the watch as you travel with the main characters discovering themselves..
If this film attracts audiences like it should it will speak to the young adult generation as profoundly as modern films like Garden State (2004) have.
Jonah (Ryan Kwanten) lives with his housemates Gus (Ryan Corr) and Stevie (Sarah Snook) and enjoys hosting parties.
One night Jonah discovers something is wrong with his body and is taken to hospital.
He is told that he has testicular cancer.
He only has a limited amount of time before he will be operated on and won't be able to conceive children.
Driven into a panic because of the uncertainty of his future, he attempts to call up as many of his exes as possible to see if they will conceive a child with him.
Both his housemates are gradually drawn into this mess as they try and warn people about Jonah's mindset.
Stevie is roped in the deepest as she reluctantly has to ask someone at work if they will be able to help Jonah.
Not Suitable For Children, a delightful Australian film, is miles away from the local comedies produced in the early noughties.
The earliest part of the decade was a major setback for Australian cinema, as the numerous comedies produced were idiotic and unfunny.
Last year Red Dog was released and people went in droves to watch a film that was clever, funny and accessible.
This film deserves the same response.
It is one of the most entertaining local films I have seen in several seasons.
There's utter professionalism about director Peter Templeman's work here.
Photographed around Newtown in all her glory, the film is shot with utter clarity and precision.
Thematically, that's important because it shows how the world is perpetual, refusing to slow for the characters in the story.
This energised world is most evident in an early party scene, where Jonah moves aimlessly between people, connectionless.
This also feeds into the idea of the uncertainty of adult life as you solely drift between stages, with no one waiting for you on either side.
This concept of belated maturity rests steadily on an original premise and a pitch perfect understanding of comedy.
The film might be about testicular cancer but the brand of comedy is low-key, observational and subtly drawn.
The script and performances opt not for the cheap laughs or gross-out gags but to provide the audience with enough time and space to think for themselves.
Take a scene where Jonah and Stevie talk to a lesbian couple about conceiving a baby.
One of the women is attractive to Jonah, the other is clearly not.
Listen to how loaded Jonah's dialogue is when he asks which one will be carrying the baby.
We have a situation grounded in reality, as all good comedy should be, and what Jonah says is the punch line.
The straight-faced comedy is further complimented by Stevie's confused facial expressions, making it a hysterical scene.
The humour is masterfully controlled and I enjoyed the film a lot for that reason and laughed aplenty.
Adding sophistication and humanity to the rest of the film are the performances.
Kwanten is in fine touch as the dopey and spaced-out Jonah and Ryan Corr (Coby from Packed to the Rafters) provides wonderful moments of pure comic timing.
Yet Sarah Snook as Stevie (who looks not unlike Emma Stone) gives a star-making performance, bringing genuine feeling and plausible motivations to the narrative.
She's caught between her work life and a friend in need, meaning that there's a frustrating inseparability between those once neatly divided identities.
If there is some degree of predictability about the narrative and the relationships, it doesn't matter because there's tension and humour that makes it feel involving and anew again.
I think if this film attracts audiences like it should it will speak to the young adult generation as profoundly as modern films like Garden State (2004) have..
The perfect little date flick!!!.
A very small, independent, Australian romantic comedy featuring a very young, not yet bulked-up Ryan Kwanten (True Blood) as Jonah.
Jonah and his best mate Gus are young entrepreneurs, who have tapped into the grunge party planner/ party throwing market in which tons of 20-something party goers show up to every week to Jonah's house, pay a fee, and get wasted.
One evening during an event, as Jonah is getting some oral satisfaction, his female companion notices an unusual lump on his nether region.
After going to the doctors, Jonah is diagnosed with testicular cancer.
The doctor prescribes immediate surgery to remove his testicle; however, Jonah's sperm cannot survive the cryogenic freezing process.
So Jonah has less than three (3) weeks to find a suitable mate who is willing to sire his offspring, or risk never having children.Ryan Kwanten is the perfect actor for this role of Jonah.
Much like his character is in "True Blood", Ryan (Jonah) is shallow, self-obsessed, non-committal, immature, has nothing going for him except his looks.
All of Jonah hopes end up resting in the hands of one of his housemates, Ava (played wonderfully by Bojana Novakovic).
Ava convinces Jonah of trying some alternative routes, which include providing sperm to a lesbian couple, and seeking a relationship/contract with an "older" more mature clientele.The on-screen charisma between Kwanten and Navakovic works wonderfully, while director Peter Templeton does a wonderful job adding lots of turns and twists into this really well written little rom-com.
I actually really enjoyed this film; and highly recommend it for viewing.
Please be advise there are some really intense sexual scenes in this film, that may not be appropriate for younger viewer (much in the line of Ryan Kwanten body of work in "True Blood").
However, the film would make the perfect Friday Night Date Flick.
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Well, I'm a 22 year old dude who really want to be a dad in a near future, so "Not Suitable For Me"'s main storyline felt quite suitable for me.
Jonah is a relatively shy guy that finds out a testicle cancer, which gives him only three weeks to copulate with someone.
That being said, you can imagine the problems he faces whilst trying to find anyone to be a mother.
The plot is good because it has an original idea and some embarrassing moments, which is what makes this movie occasionally funny.
The fun used in here isn't the laughable one, with nice jokes; the comedy is built by embarrassing situations that main characters get into.
For instance, the lesbian couple scene: Jonah wants to know which of the girls he would have to have sex with, given that there is a hot one and the ugly, and instead of just asking, as he wished, he had to elaborate this question without mentioning the word 'sex'.
That was a funny moment because, as a guy, it feels easy to understand what he was passing into.
The quick moments involving Gus, the ingenuous housemate who wasn't able to see the couple getting along, are also funny.
There are some sexy moments involving Ryan Kwanten and Sarah Snook, and I'm convinced that's why this film is R rated.
Also, I wouldn't ever imagine that Kwanten was Australian; in my mind, he was just a regular American actor.
It's just a shame that filmmakers didn't even approach the adoption subject, which would be quite useful, considering the number of orphan children we have all around the world.
I state in advance that the ending won't be anything remarkable, as the movie also isn't, but the film as a whole is very recommended for young guys who care about this subject..
How would you react if faced with only weeks to map out your life?.
I really enjoyed the movie; I think it provided an honest look at someone in their early 20's living life, thinking they have an eternity ahead of them to do whatever they want and as such they spend their current life having parties, drinking, doing drugs (which I don't condone) and just "exploring" life.When Jonah (the male lead) is given the devastating news about not being able to have children after his chemo treatment, he literally finds out that he has just a few weeks to plan for his future.
I can relate to this situation and I think a lot of people can.
I am a single mother of a 17 year old and am only 37 years old and am at the crossroads where my son will be out of the house potentially in a year and I have only a few years left to decide if I would want to do it all over again.
We only get so much time in this life whether it's only a few weeks or 20 years when we're healthy and young enough to have children and there is always that nagging feeling that if we wait or don't have kids, we'll regret it when it's no longer an option.The awkwardness between Jonah and Stevie (Female lead) during the initial sex scene was very believable and I appreciated watching their comfort level change and grow into something more intimate.
Not very movies make me want to watch them again and again, but I gave this one a 10 because I honestly would watch it again and again.