The Black Bird
Tags: murder

Plot synopsis:
When San Francisco private detective Sam Spade dies, his son, Sam, Jr., inherits his father's agency, including the sarcastic secretary, Effie Perine (also known as "Godzilla"). He must also continue his father's tradition of "serving minorities." When Caspar Gutman is killed outside Spade's building, his dying words are, "It's black and as long as your arm."
Spade is given an offer by a member of the Order of St. John's Hospital to purchase his father's useless copy of the Maltese Falcon. A right-wing thug named Gordon Immerman has been hired to make sure Spade delivers the bird. He later gets an offer from Wilmer Cook for the Falcon, but before they can negotiate, he is killed. Shortly thereafter he meets a beautiful and mysterious Russian woman named Anna Kemidov, daughter of the general who once owned the real Maltese Falcon. She also wants Spade's copy and is willing to seduce him to get it. Spade is soon dealing with Litvak, a bald Nazi dwarf who is surrounded by an army of Hawaiian thugs. In the ensuing chaos, Immerman tries to become Spade's partner. Spade discovers that his "false" copy may be the real thing.

Review: I liked it and watch it all the time.
I liked the movie...thought it was funny, especially the bantering between George Segal and all of the co-stars.
I watched the original version of unfaithful and saw the same actress was in This movie and the french version of unfaithful.
I thought she was hilarious in this movie.I saw this movie in a movie theater in 1976 and laughed and still laugh via VHS.
Thought the ending was a little drawn out...so thats why I gave it an 8..
In Leonard Maltins book he gave it BOMB rating which I can not understand.
I can watch this movie anytime where as a movie like Porkys or Dodgeball I find unwatchable..
One of only 18 people in America.
I am proud to declare that I am one of only 18 people in America who actually like this movie.
My basis for that statement?
There are -- were -- only 17 voters at IMDb who rate this movie at "7" or higher (out of a whopping 50 total votes).
My vote of "7" now makes that 18 people who like it.How unpopular is this movie with everyone everywhere?
Very little info is available on it here at IMDb and none at all at Rotten Tomatoes.
IMDb users who hate it don't even deem it worthy of the usual brickbats.
Only one user has taken the trouble to slice it and dice it and feed it to the sharks (appropos to the movie's ending).
Leonard Maltin calls it "DA BOMB" (no stars, not even half of one).
If anyone has a complimentary word to say about this movie, I don't know whom that person is nor where he or she said it.That's where I come in.
I think this movie is funny!
Well, some of the time, anyway.
It's not a laugh riot but it does have a lot of funny stuff in it, especially in the first half.
It does start to run out of steam in the second half and by the time they get to the end, it appears that writer-director David Giler was just looking for some way -- any way -- to end it.George Segal plays Sam Spade, Jr., San Francisco detective and son of his notorious father played by Humphrey Bogart in the original "The Maltese Falcon." And just as in the original, Jr. is once again involved with that black bird, trying to find out who wants it and what's the best price he can get for it.
As far as plot goes, except for the ending, the plots of the two movies are fairly similar.
And anyone who cares to razz the plot of "The Black Bird" as being nonexistent or worse should first take a close look at the plot of "The Maltese Falcon." The latter, just like the former, has an unfathomable plot.
All of which is in no way to say that there is any quality comparison between the two movies.
The original is filled with timeless characters, great setups and fabulous dialogue which will live for eternity.
That's why it's such a great movie, even with an impossible-to-follow plot.
"The Black Bird," on the other hand, is just a fairly decent movie with a number of funny moments and scenes.George Segal does a good job as Jr. and has a lot of funny dialogue and shtick.
Stéphane Audran makes for an alluring love interest and foil for Jr., playing the equivalent to Mary Astor's role in the original.
But for me, there are two people who really stand out in this cast.
One is old Lionel Stander, a constant thorn in the side to Spade, Jr. The other is none other than Lee Patrick.
Just as she did in the original 34 years earlier, she is back once again as Effie, still playing Jr.'s secretary just as she was to his pop.
Amazingly, she is much better in this latest version than she was in the original.
That's because her later version is a powerhouse character with a ton of dialogue and shtick to go with it.
That's something she didn't have in the orignal.
But that is the ONLY improvement on the original.I've seen "The Black Bird" about three or four times.
And I still laughed at a number of things I'd forgotten since my last viewing.
But I recommend seeing it no more often than about once every 8-10 years, at the most.
Any more often than that and it can easily wear thin and lose its best humor.There is one good thing, one advantage, to being one of only 18 people in America who like a particular movie: lots of elbow room!.
Funnier than its reputation.
The one thing that becomes clear after reading comments on the IMDb (and which should come as a comfort to filmmakers out there) is that no matter how awful a film may be, it will be the "favorite' of at least one person.I saw "The Black Bird" as a teenager when it was originally released and remember going back to see it several times, howling at the "in" "Maltese Falcon" jokes, George Segal's hilarious exasperation at everything, Lionel Stander's thick-headed assistant, Stephane Audran's priceless deadpan and mangled English, Lee Patrick's cantankerous Effie...I just found it a riot.Now, the one thing I was sure of even then was that this wasn't a particularly "good" film, but what it had was a cock-eyed sense of humor for those with a certain awareness of the genre stereotypes.It updated the musty clichés and made then cynically hip and funny.
To this day I can watch my video of the film and crack up when George Segal (dressed in a priest's robe)playfully asks Audran, "Care to confess any sins?" and she, forever missing his jokes, responds seriously "Later, later..."Trust me, if you found nothing humorous in that exchange, "The Black Bird" is not the film for you..
I love this movie.
I love this movie.
It's filled with little gems that can only be appreciated with repeated viewings.
"I'll see the first person with a 10 dollar bill in his hand--and that's cash, we're not taking' food stamps anymore." "What is this?" "What do you mean 'What is this?'--this is the Maltese Falcon!" "I'll give you $14.95 for it." "Why is it always $14.95?
Why can't it be $15, at least a round figure?" "Would you like a round figure?" "Yes, I would." "Fourteen dollars." "Come on, its gotta be worth more than that." "It is.
It's worth $14.95." "It's open and shut: the girl wandered into the building by accident and he threw her down the shaft.
Now, it could have happened that way!" "Dsemboweled?" "They take a large knife and--" "I know what that is!" "There's no use spilling milk on a dead horse." "It is mine because I deserve it.
Mine because I have killed for it and will kill again for it.
Mine because I have spent thirty years in pursuit of it.
It is mine because I have the means, the determination, and most of all the power to have it.
It is mine because I want it!" "Look, if it's yours what do you need with me?" "Litvak will kill her (Effie)!" "It's bad luck to talk about these things before they happen." "Litvak, you get a lot of bad press, but I gotta tell you you're aces with me.
This is the best day I've had in a year!" "Nonsense, no one is always wrong." "I am." "Gordon Immerman, but you can still call me Andrew Jackson if you want to.".
I like this little gem!.
Certainly this flick is not a classic!
However,it is guilty fun,quirky-and even affectionate towards the original-if only in its weird way...indeed there is no resemblance to the Bogart noir.Yet it works for me independently as a 70's aberration and a hoot to boot!Flaws?-you bet...so what!Stander is terrific and the two original characters(Cook & Patrick) from the early 40's are a pure delight and a connection from a past glory(also I would bestow honorable mention to Signe Hasso as a museum curator who plays her delightful role w\aplomb and the right kind of satirical dash).Don't know much if I especially like the midget or some of the over the top stuff,but-hey,its OK within the context of a silly little yarn.
Moreover,George Segal,I think,is just right for a world weary sleuth in the shadow of a famed father detective.I like the opening credits w\ its promise of something more-but the absurd ending is less than satisfying...despite these things,I have watched the film numerous times and find it overall a "kick;"for you cannot take this one tale that seriously anyway:so go w\ the FLOW.....
uncoventional comedy, confusing and politically incorrect.
In 1975 San Francisco, Sam Spade Jr. has taken over his father's private investigation business, but he does not like the work, or his father's obnoxious secretary.
One of the father's big cases comes back to haunt the young Spade.
A man offers a lot of money for a statue which may or may not be the Maltese Falcon.
In fact, there are several large offers for the bird, and it might be worth millions if it is the genuine article.
A European woman who has some trouble with English claims to want the bird to help a children's hospital.
And Spade gets unwanted help from a crazy character (one of the movie's funniest) who he calls 'Andrew Jackson' after the man offers a $20 bill for Spade's time.
Whatever the significance of the bird, someone must want it badly because people start dying.The movie started out really funny and showed promise, but later it lost something.
The second half proved much funnier than the first.
The jokes were not always obvious, and sometimes you had to pay close attention to realize why something was funny.
Sometimes the jokes came at a rapid-fire pace, but other times I felt unsatisfied.
One running gag was a rental car with a mind of its own.
The last gag involving the car was hilarious.
Overall, the movie proved to be worthwhile, but not quite in a league with similar style comedies such as 'Airplane!'People offended by political incorrectness should probably stay away, but to me politically incorrect humor was the best part.
Such as the time Spade was in a room with black men and when his name was called, all the black men got up.
The funniest character was a midget (Spade's word) in a Nazi uniform with a group of large Hawaiian guards protecting him, and the hilarious jokes about or from him were anything but sensitive.
Spade also referred several time to the children in the hospital as 'cripples' or an even worse variation of the word..
Not too bad.
A good beginning and then downhill..
The Black Bird is not really a parody, as it does not poke fun at "The Maltese Falcon".
It is just a very subtle comedy with very little plot, about another group of people searching for the bird.
It is not a great film, or a hilarious film, but worth watching mainly to see the performances of Lee Patrick and Lionel Stander.The "8" that I gave it is for them, otherwise I would have given it a "5" or "6".
If they had given Elisha Cook Jr. a larger part it would have helped.The running gag with the car was cute but nothing to write home about.The addition of a little person playing a Nazi with Hawaiian thugs was just dumb.The ending was about the same as the ending of most of this type of movie, a letdown to the tune of "Bye Bye Blackbird"..
To Spoof a Classic.
The Black Bird is not the worst movie I have ever seen - that would be Matrix Revolutions.
I must confess, I did not make it all the way through to the end.
However, I was able to get farther than my first attempt when I walked out of the movie theater around 1976.
If you are going to spoof a CLASSIC, and one of the best movies ever made, you have to do a first class job or else the film looks like a low-budget mess.
Three movies immediately come to mind as examples of great spoofs: Young Frankenstein, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein and Play It Again Sam. Each of these fine films are excellent spoofs that capture the magic of the originals.
The Black Bird violates the most important rule of any film, including comedies and spoofs.
A film must take itself seriously, no matter how ridiculous the subject matter.
I am never able to take George Segal seriously in this film, or any other character for that matter, including Effie, who was splendid in her small and effective part in the original.
Segal's hat and cigar are totally ridiculous and out of place then (1975) and now.
The rest of the movie and supporting characters are not really worth discussing, except to say the quality wavers from low-budget bad to just unwatchale.
If you're looking for a film spoof, rent anything other than this mess, such as Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid or many others..
Terrible, terrible movie!.
Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.
Very little in this terrible remake of "The Maltese Falcon" even remotely resembles the original.
Spade Jr.'s office, supposedly the same as Sr.'s, is different.
The statue of the falcon is a decidedly different, sub-par copy of the original, and the plot left a great, great deal to be desired.
Pure garbage..
Possibly the worst film ever!.
I see on the IMDB this attempt at a film was made in 1975.
Shouldn't that be 1995?
Considering how bad the film is, it matches most of the attempts of the last ten years.
I think in future we should call it Horrorwood.
God, but I'm beginning to hate movies...at least those made after the 1970's....
My husband laughed so hard tears came out of his eyes.
Okay, he loved slapstick, and silly stuff, quick dialog, who's on first kind of stuff.
He loved parodies.
There were parts in this were he could not stop laughing.
We saw this in the theater years ago, and it was embarrassing trying to shut him up.
We later rented it on VHS and had to play it back several times ***Here be spoiler*** The empty car with the turn signal, him laughing with no sound coming out of his mouth, tears coming out of his eyes.
And if I remember right, he and the girl, he kept thinking he had sex with her but he never did.
That got him too.
May he rest in peace.
He told friends about this movie for years and no one had ever heard of it.
I wish I could see it again now that he is gone, but it isn't carried by Netflix.
I wonder why?
I wonder why?