Teenage Caveman
Tags: pornographic

Plot synopsis:
A tribe of primitive humans lives in a barren, rocky wasteland and struggle for survival, despite a lush, plant-filled land on the other side of a nearby river. They refuse to cross the river because of a law that evolved from an ancient tale warning of a god lurking there who brings death with a single touch.
A young man of the tribe challenges the law and is eventually followed by other male members of his tribe, who fearfully cross the river in order to bring him back. They soon encounter the terrible god, a large, horribly burned but strangely human-like creature. Despite the young man's peace overture to the god, another tribal member, out of fear, lays a trap and stones the creature to death with a large rock; the young man then shoots and kills that tribesman with one of his arrows. The others gather around the now dead god and discover that the creature is actually a much older man with long white hair. He is wearing some kind of strange, unknown outer garment with a fearful hood. They find another strange thing in the old man's possession; they are puzzled by this flat, thick object that opens and contains mysterious markings and vivid black, white, and gray images that show an even stranger human world unknown to them.
In a surprising denouement provided by the ancient man after his death, the truth is revealed in voice-over as the tribesman page through his book: He was actually a survivor of a long-ago nuclear holocaust, forced to live for decades inside his now ragged, discolored, and bulky radiation suit (which is implied to have once been covered with deadly radioactive fallout). The ancient man has wandered the land for decades while the primitive remnants of a devastated human race have slowly increased their numbers; his frightening outer appearance caused them to fear and shun him.
A final, cautionary question is asked in voice-over by the old man: Will humanity someday repeat its nuclear folly after civilization has once again risen to its former heights?

Review: Watching it, I can see plenty in the plot that could have been interesting, could have been insightful and could have made for a challenging piece of thought within a sci-fi frame; after all, it could have been a cautionary tale about sex, about a sexually transmitted virus that is part of the world ending, of teenagers self-harming with no consequences.
Clark's direction is interesting at least; at points the cinematography is nicely washed out, blending colours into frames to depict changes in emotion and several other nice touches  if only he had been able to draw out value from the material  the odd nice visual touch is not enough.Overall this is a poor film but I will not be adding my voice to those that simply dismiss it as rubbish with a lazy twenty word review.
Overall a pointless film that will have a cult following for the sex, gore and "different" plot; some will see it as a stupid load of missed opportunities but the vast majority will not care what it could have done and will just give up on the exploitative and nasty mess..
Larry Clark lets his hair down and makes a gloriously goofy sci fi exploitation movie.
'Teenage Caveman' is Larry Clark letting his hair down and having a ball making a wonderfully silly exploitation movie.
Clark's controversial 'Kids' and 'Bully' mixed their often prurient look at teenage sex and substance abuse with some serious social comment.
Apart from a memorable bit by Abel Ferrara regular Paul Hipp as Andrew Keegan's sleazy shaman Dad in the opening cave sequences of the movie, the only performer here with any real charisma or future potential is the sexy and seductive bombshell Tiffany Limos.
Now there's no way I'm going to argue that this is a good movie (unlike 'Bully' which really is something special), but it is a fun one, though probably not the kinda thing that most of its intended audience will "get".
this film lacks any substantive plot or story line that is discernable, nor comprehendable dialogue, nor even interest as a soft core porno.Larry Clark's disturbing debut 'Kids' was controversial for it's depiction of homeless children doing drugs and having sex on the streets of New York.
Well, after seeing Teenage Caveman you begin to realize that that subject matter is a favorite of Clark's and he is less gritty filmmaker than closet pedophile.The film even looks bad...
The film appears to be shot entirely inside a closet, with the exception of two or three minutes of exteriors with the appearance that they were filmed in vacant lots and the homeless people who live there were displaced until filming was complete.I LIKE BAD MOVIES...
The makeup on the bad-guy creature is laughably bad, but not enough so to be entertaining.Take my advice and steer clear of 'Teenage Caveman.'  As a parent, I would rather have my son or daughter watch a snuff film...
This film offers absolutely NO plot, it is obvious that director and producers just thought "Well, if we just show plenty of female nudity, nobody will realize that there IS no story!"..I KNOW this is a b-movie, and I have a huge love for those, but THIS could not even quality as a Z-movie, I'm actually reluctant to call this nothing more but a badly produced softcore porno-flick..Man..
Bad effects, horrible acting - you would actually think they simply picked the "actors" who were willing to drop all thier clothes, and then forgot that their TALENT was totally absent....that's a way to make a career aswell, I suppose...good for them, bad for all the rest of us watching..In these times were scripts are very hard to get produced, you wonder how a piece of garbage like this could slip through....someone must have had a period of incredibly poor judgment..-10/10.
If you've seen 'Kids' you know that he captures a certain thing in actors that makes his movies unique.
The characters in all his movies seem very free to do or say what they feel, like people you know in real life.
Clark doesn't try to control every frame of the movie, unlike so many blockbuster Hollywood films (The Matrix, Fight Club, Gladiator etc.) Sure, this movie is just another low-budget sci-fi knockoff in its script and its story, but Larry Clark took that worthless made-for-cable script and breathed life into it by giving the actors a quality that no other movie of this type ever had.
Now, banished to the dangerous and unexplored zone outside their cave, he and five of his teenage friends quickly discover the 'old' world they only dreamed about has evolved without them - into a complex, seductive and ultimately terrifying nightmare beyond their wildest imagination!" according to the DVD sleeve description.Director Larry Clark's two-worded "Teenage Caveman" seems to have been based on Roger Corman's three-worded "Teenage Cave Man" (1958).
Mr. Jasso is the film's "Best Supporting Actor" and Ms. Limos is the "Sexiest Supporting Actress".***** Teenage Caveman (4/3/02) Larry Clark ~ Andrew Keegan, Richard Hillman, Tara Subkoff, Tiffany Limos.
The film turns into a pointless gore and fleshfest which revels in killing off characters in the most disgusting and tasteless ways possible, interspersed with sex scenes that are only vaguely explained away in the plot.
None of the characters are developed into anything worth considering.The film feels like Larry Clark's work for the first half an hour or so, before the gorefest begins and you don't recognise it anymore - perhaps a case of studio interference.
In fact, I like this film quite a bitThe sex scenes go a little overboard, but I appreciate it more for the fact that it reminds me of going to high school as an adolescent, from the perspective of Neil...sometimes you're the super-cool guy going to parties, drinking, sleeping with girls, other times you're heartbroken by the person you care most about, and sometimes you're the mutant freakthat and any movie with a soundtrack including the misfits is good by me.
If those bother you you may also not like the many drunken teenage orgy scenes, the graphic decapitation, the naked chick who explodes, etc.But I mean, how many people are there out there who don't enjoy that type of picture?
What makes this picture special is that it's from the sleazy arthouse director Larry Clark (KIDS, ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE, BULLY) and contains all the usual subject matter and style of his pictures, ye with a postapocalyptic warrior tribe, and Stan Winston effects where after the orgy they turn into lumpy monsters and fight each other.This is a stupid movie with some really bad acting by the villain and the usual corny dialogue but if you enjoy Larry Clark pictures, as all of us do, obviously, then you will get a kick out of it.
a cast of b-grade, teen-flick actors have congregated to make a film filled with gratuitous sex and violence.
if you want to watch the peripheral characters from mainstream teen flicks ('bring it on,' '10 things i hate about you') get naked with one another and die gruesome deaths, this movie is very satisfying.
it combines the simultaneous lascivious and homicidal urges that arise from watching these actors in other films.it is a stroke flick, definitely, with poor acting, bad script and mediocre direction.
Sure this film has lots of sex and nudity and those nasty four letter words, come on people it's Cinemax or (Skinemax) as its better known as after 12 AM.
This film had a very cool look to it and for a cable movie was really good.
secocondly,the cast is amazeing!especially Andrew Keegan, he really shows off his acting skills.and they introduced actors and actresses who are definant future "big screen stars" that show alot of guts for a movie that they are just starting out in.the person who chose the cast is definantly a geniouse.
Much of my pleasure in watching Clark's "Teenage Caveman" arose from the conflict between what the title generically implies and what Larry Clark made; I couldn't believe the producers (Samuel Arkoff supposedly amongst them) didn't stop him when it became clear that the film would have very little of the feel of an old sci-fi drive-in picture (a la Roger Corman).
Instead of looking backwards, in fact, "Teenage Caveman" is more akin to Clark's previous film, "Bully"-- it's about RIGHT NOW.
Besides the two other things I said, the vast amount of sex in the movie was a little excessive, but what else would you expect from the director of `Kids'?
The couple of survivors introduce the teenagers to sex, drug, beverages and clothing and sooner they find that Neil is a genetic experiment of a new breed of predators, and Elizabeth was modified by his semen."Teenage Caveman" is simply an awful low-budget movie.
Too bad they were too few and too far between.Having done some reading about "Teenage Caveman" and its director, Larry Clark, I'm reminded of something Ben Stein wrote in his series of articles, "The Diary of a Mad Screenwriter," about a producer friend whose every project could be summed up as: "Teenage girls discovering their bodies as they come of age..." Maybe he was writing about Clark.
Teenage Caveman (2001) Andrew Keegan, Tara Subkoff, Tiffany Limos, Stephen Jasso, Crystal Grant, Shan Elliot, Hayley Keenan, D: Larry Clark.
`Like a bad B-movie', which is quoted by a character, can't describe this film more accurately.
As the couple makes the tribe members explore their sexuality, the tribe members soon find themselves either exploding to pieces after having sex with the couple or turning into monsters.Larry Clark would seem like an extremely odd choice to direct, but his maniac direction works fine here.
One final thing though, this is a smart, scary horror flick (and I feel Roger Corman would be proud), but this film really was not designed with horror fans in mind.Rated R (should have been an NC-17 though); Strong Sexual Content, Extreme Graphic Violence, Lots of Nudity, Strong Drug Use, and Profanity..
When zapping around i came right in the middle of this spectacular movie by the director of Kids, Larry Clark.
The movie as a whole is not as good as Kids but it is cool that Larry has the same style in his movies even when doing a more commercial sci-fi film which this is.
The kids are introduced to sex, drugs, and modern living.This is a homage to those 50's sci-fi B-movies by controversial director Larry Clark while adding some hot young bodies.
Despite the wooden acting, shoddy effects, b-movie values and soft core pornography, i actually enjoyed this...or maybe it was because of those things?
I haven't watched Kids so i don't really get Larry Clark but judging this movie alone, i found this to be an enjoyable film with a decent storyline which moves along nicely (except for the breaks for gratuitous nudity and sex) and has some good ideas.I came to understand, following watching it, that it was a made for TV movie and maybe that explains some of the production values.
The story focuses intimately on the wants and beliefs of it's teenage core but also manages to consider larger issues like the dangers of genetic engineering, religion and how it is often perverted, and the possible fate of the human race.If Larry Clark had managed to find better actors who could actually deliver lines of dialogue like they believed in them i would rate this higher.
B-movie production values don't put me off a film if the Director gets the essentials (good actors, good script, good plot and ideas) right..
but hit-tut) always has so much more fun in it than CRAP!Larry Clarks movies must be watched to me.
i mean, it had its boring points (that orgy scene was boring as all hell) but as far as plotgoes, it was actually...not original, but it was not cliched, it wasnt quite drivel, it actually seemed as if someone had sat down and thought about this film when writing the script instead of just saying "people get naked, people wander off, people get killed, people get revenge".
The original with the Roger Corman-Robert Vaughn film is probably much better than Larry Clark's excuse for nudity and sex.
Watching Larry Clark's Teenage Caveman, I felt as if I was being Punk'd, especially when one character tells another she looks like "she's in a bad B-movie." Clark has made a career out of being subversive and downright wild behind the camera, capturing adolescent debauchery and lawless behavior amongst youth with a frightening authenticity, mainly because Clark's own adolescent was dominated by intimate photography and heavy drug use.By the time Teenage Caveman was made, Clark had developed a name for himself with his shocking film Kids, his solid sophomore effort Another Day in Paradise, and his brutally honest Bully, released a year prior.
Teenage Caveman will forever be etched in Clark's filmography, replacing another film potentially having a great amount of insight and braver filmmaking.Starring: Richard Hillman, Tiffany Limos, Andrew Keegan, Tara Subkoff, and Stephen Jasso.
To make a long story short, David and Sarah with a group of friends flee the tribe to escape further persecution and eventually end up in the hands of Vincent (Stephen Jasso) and Judith (Tiffany Limos), two genetically altered teenagers who have an appetite for the Dionysian pleasures of the world and a special affinity for sex.
Teenage Caveman combines the post-apocalypse genre with the dead teenagers horror genre, mixes in director Larry Clarks obsession with (and repulsion toward) teenaged sex, and ends up as a mess.
The whole story is just a drivel, but naturally if you liked Ken Park and want to see another Larry Clark then you surely must watch it.Gore 2/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 1/5.
For the longest time there was one film stuck in my head as the absolute worst movie I had ever seen, but I can no longer remember what it was because "Teenage Caveman" took it's place.
I had never seen any of Clark's infamous films, such as Kids and Ken Park, but I have heard that he is a talented director.Then I saw Teenage Caveman.A painfully obvious cable TV production, shot on video in what looks like a national park five minutes out of LA, Teenage Caveman is awful in almost every way.
Hands up if you equated Larry Clarke with good films?.
To begin with, I was surprised to learn that controversial director Clark (of whose work I had previously only watched KIDS [1995] and ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE [1998]) had lended his services to a series of made-for-TV remakes of schlocky Grade-Z movies from the 1950s entitled “Creature Features”.
Actually, not only was this the first of these revamps that I’ve watched but I haven’t checked out any of the originals either!; for the record, the first version of this one was made by none other than B-movie guru Roger Corman (though it’s not considered one of his better titles).Anyway, while the film displays Clark’s typical fixation with the promiscuous (and vapid) lifestyle of teenagers – though hardly to the graphic extent that he’s used to – it also serves up the expected sci-fi/apocalyptic trappings of the plot.
Having seen Larry Clark's films prior to this, those that were stirring, confronting and thought provoking, I was prepared to forgive the title of this movie and give it a chance.
(You're stooping pretty low when the only redeeming fact you can find in a movie is that the actors were pretty.) It's amazing that hundreds of people can work on the creative end of a movie, and yet productions like Teenage Caveman still get made..
I can see if they were trying to breed children with said genetic enhancement but otherwise it makes no sense whatsoever, not that it needs to.There are moments in the movie that are very entertaining, not because they're good but because they're bad.
How the hell did Larry Clarke end up directing this film!?!
There is a lot of gratuitous sex and even an orgy scene, but it seems like the the worst edited porn movie ever.
Gee, a Larry Clark movie with unknown actors who will stay unknown because they are HORRIBLE.
And they are forced to act to a horrible script for a horrible director who once again falls back on the gratuitous and overused sex as his reason why nobody watched his movie.
Make a horrible movie with lots of sex and drugs, and then when no one watches it, blame the tough rating it got.
I really think Larry Clark got into directing just to see how many teenagers would be willing to get naked for him..
I ususally am a huge fan of Larry Clark's conterversal movies such as Bully,Kids,and Another Day In Paradise and I figured after liking only 1 of these Creature Features films She-Creature and hating the rest of them( Earth vs The Spider and this one) that may-be this one would be good and as most of mr Clark's movies have been.
Gore is abundant and the plot was okay but the acting is bad.Though actress Tiffany Limos as Judith is very pretty.Not a recommened movie if your a fan of larry Clarks movies..
'Teenage Caveman' is a great mind bender, and is definitely a fun and intense watch, especially for fans of films like 'the re-animator', 'Kids' or even the better parts of 'Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome'.
If you're into teenage porn, this film is for you.Too bad the actors didn't figure out until it was too late that they are victims of another ruse by director Larry Clarke to get a bunch of teenagers drunk and naked on film.We've seen it in "Kids", "Bully", and now this...
Teenage Caveman, the remake, relies on a lot of nudity whereas the original movie had a plot.