Bitten
Tags: comedy

Plot synopsis:
Martes (Tuesday): Graveyard shift paramedic Jack (Jason Mewes) attempts to subdue a crazed man by talking him down, but his partner Roger (Richard Fitzpatrick), who has no love for junkies or other low-lives, advises Jack to just zap him with a sedative and have done with it. Jack rationalizes his lapse in protocol on the fact that he's still pining for his ex-girlfriend Sherry, who just ditched him for her yoga instructor. Roger advises Jack to forget Sherry and get some "new ass."Miércoles (Wednesday): On his way home from work, Jack notices a girl lying in the dumpster behind his apartment house. She is covered with blood and seemingly amnesic because she doesn't remember how she got there. She refuses to go to a hospital, so Jack takes her inside and cleans her up. He notices bite marks on her neck, but she can't remember how she got them or what kind of animal might have made them. She only remembers that her name is Danika (Erica Cox). Jack checks to see whether there have been any reports of a missing person who fit her description but comes up dry. Roger is sure that this "mystery skank" is probably cleaning out Jack's apartment as they speak.Viernes (Friday): Danika starts shaking uncontrollably but doesn't know what's wrong. Jack asks Roger to take a look, and Roger concludes that Danika is a junkie. He suggests that Jack take her in for detox, but Jack doesn't believe that Dani's problem is drug-related. Jack's ex, Sherry (Jordan Madley), shows up wanting to collect her clothes and other stuff, but Jack refuses to let her in on the grounds that he's leaving for work. After he's gone, Sherry lets herself in, using her old key, and comes face to face with Danika.Sabado (Saturday): Jack returns from work to find Sherry dead. Dani claims that she can't remember what happened. They begin to make love on the floor, but Jack gets angry when Dani attempts to bite him. "What's wrong with me?" Dani moans. Jack notices that she has sprouted fangs and realizes that, during the five days Dani has been living with him, he has never seen her in the sunlight. He pulls her over to a window and opens the curtain a teeny bit. Dani screams, and her arm begins to blister. Pretty sure that he has a vampire on his hands, Jack tidies up the mess and puts Sherry's dried up body in a large crate.The next day, when Dani begins to shake again, signaling her need for blood, Jack hunts down a stray cat. It only serves to make Dani sick, so Jack sneaks into the paramedic station and takes a pint of blood from the fridge. When that makes Dani barf, too, Jack realizes that she must have fresh human blood, so he offers his arm. Dani promises to take only a little bit, but Jack has a hard time stopping her once she gets going, and still she begs for more. With no other choices left to him, Jack lures Pusher (Nick Nicotera), the local drug-pushing pimp, into his apartment and lets Dani feed on him. After Jack has again tidied up the mess, they try to stuff Pusher's body into the crate with Sherry, but Sherry suddenly springs to life and attacks Jack. Dani manages to grab a mop and stake her through her chest with the handle. Sherry keeps coming back to life but, after several attempts, Jack finally gets the heart.When Jack returns to work, Roger sends him home to get some sleep. "You look like the walking dead," Roger tells him and advises him to get rid of Danika because she's "draining" him, just like a black hole sucking in all the energy until there's nothing left. Jack denies that it's that way with Dani, but he does take Roger's offer and goes home.Martes: When Jack returns, he finds Dani staring at Sherry's body. She asks him how long they went out together and wonders why things click with some people and not with others. In a tender moment, they begin to kiss, until Dani pushes Jack away. Her fangs are beginning to grow, and she's afraid that she might do harm to him. Knowing that she needs blood again, Jack lures Twitch (Stuart Stone), Pusher's friend and business partner, into his apartment by telling him that Pusher is hurt and calling for him. Dani sates herself on Twitch's blood, leaving Jack to once again tidy up the mess.Miércoles: Jack is surprised when Dani comes to him all dressed up and wanting to go out partying. Jack refuses because he's afraid that she might end up feeding on someone in public. He falls asleep on the couch and has a dream in which Dani locks him in a box and then plunges a stake through his chest. He is awakened when the telephone rings. It is Roger telling him to get his butt to work, but Jack tells him that he is sick. As he hangs up the phone, Dani walks in with a woman in tow. Dani's intent is to make love to Jack and then feast on Maya (Amy Lynn Grover). After a night of love-making, Jack falls asleep. When he awakens, he finds Maya lying dead next to him and her blood all over the sheets. Jack is livid and swears that he's somehow going to put an end to this because he doesn't want to deal with any more bodies. As they're tidying up the mess and about to put Maya's body in the crate, the landlady suddenly knocks on the door. Mrs Lee (Grace Armas) has come to fix the sink and collect her rent money. When she sees Dani, she assumes that Dani is a hooker, but when she sees the blood on the floor, she gets scared and starts to back away, threatening to call the cops. Suddenly Dani is standing between her and the door, and Dani leaps for Mrs Lee's neck.Viernes: When Jack goes to work on Friday, he is confronted by Roger over the missing unit of blood. Roger is still of the notion that Danika is a junkie and is worried that she's got Jack using, too. He warns Jack that he's throwing his life away by staying with Dani, but Jack won't listen. At quitting time, Roger sends Jack on an errand. While Jack is away, Roger goes over to Jack's apartment to confront Dani. He searches through the garbage until he finds the empty bag of blood and assumes that Jack gave it to Dani as a transfusion. When he starts grilling Dani over her background, Dani gets angry. She's just about to pounce on him when Jack walks in the door. Jack forces Roger to leave. He then locks Dani in the bathroom and goes out for a walk, ending up at Roger's house. Jack asks for Roger's advice on how to break up with Dani. Roger suggests that Jack simply tell her straight out to "get the f*** out," but Jack can't see himself being that crass. It isn't until Roger comments that the way to a woman's heart is "right through her effin' chest" that Jack realizes what he must do.Jack returns to his apartment where Dani is still locked in the bathroom. He promises to let her out but says that she must listen to him first. He tells her that he can no longer be involved in this situation, that he has totally lost himself in the relationship, and that he needs some space to find himself again. Dani, realizing that Jack is trying to break up, pleads with him not to leave her. Jack doesn't relent, so she starts to get angry. When Jack, stake in hand, goes to unlock the bathroom door, Dani simply breaks it down from the inside. "Are you going to try to kill me, now?" she shouts and bats him across the floor, just as Roger enters the apartment. Jack explains to Roger that Dani is a vampire and that they have to stop her, but Roger doesn't buy it. When he tries to reason with Dani, however, and she bats him across the floor, too, Roger agrees with Jack. Together, they rush Dani, but she grabs Jack and sinks her fangs into his neck. As she is sucking his blood, Roger comes up from behind and plunges the stake through her back...five times in all. In the final scene, Roger cradles Jack's head in his lap and promises that he will take care of him no matter what happens.

Review: The paramedic Jack (Jason Mewes) works in the graveyard shift and is needy of love since his girlfriend Sherry (Jordan Madley) dumped him.
While going home after hours, he sees a beautiful woman covered with blood in the alley and she refuses to go to the hospital.
Jack brings the stranger home and nurses her until she is recovered and tells her name, Danika (Erica Cox).
Jack falls in love with Danika that seems to be drug addicted suffering from withdraw symptoms.
Sooner Jack discovers that Danika is a vampire and she is not addicted but starving of blood and he has a serious problem at home.
"Bitten" is a politically incorrect comedy about the love between a lovelorn paramedic and a sexy vampire starved of blood.
The story is entertaining and Jason "Jay" Mewes and Richard Fitzpatrick are very funny most of the time.
I was disappointed with the open end of the film but I found that the conclusion is actually in the end of the credits with Roger nursing Jack.
A young paramedic by the name of Jack (Jason Mewes) suffered from his last relationship.
Jack meets a woman (Erica Cox) from a dumpster and helps her.
it gets out of hand.Directed by Harvey Glazer (Kickin It Old Skool) made an interesting if not entirely successful black comedy/horror film.
The odd moments of dark humour doesn't always works but it later improves, when the story finally gets better.
Cox certainly looks great with her odd eye contacts, being topless half of the time and even with her face covered in blood.
I won't spoil the plot or what happens in this flick but is surely recommendable to horror geeks.
A big cheer to Erica Cox, I never heard of her and due to research I came beware that she only appeared in 4 movies.
To play against two wellknown actors as Richard Fitzpatrick, who is believable too, and Jason Mewes, who we knew from other flicks like Feast and less known Vulgar isn't that simple.
This is absolutely one of them.Actually, this is one of those films that is so completely ridiculous and awful that it could become a true classic, sort of the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of the modern vampire genre'.I can't possibly imagine anyone connected with this project was actually serious while they were in production.
They must have been having quite a party offset, having way too much fun while shooting this thing.Erica Cox is fun to watch (what a perfect name), I have to admit.
Although is not a top movie, "Bitten" is sure worth watching..
Erica Cox is the beautiful vampire in the movie sure you would love to be bitten..
I think he is good as usual and has this charisma to lead a movie from beginning to end..
In the movie he is a working class guy trying to be good and have a meaning in his life..
I enjoyed this low budget comedy which explores the perils of having a vampire for a girlfriend.
It's painfully obvious that the producers of this independent movie didn't have a great deal of money to throw around, as almost the whole film takes place in a single location and in terms of special effects, fake blood and contact lenses are all we get.
It's as if the scriptwriter started out attempting to make a serious movie, then threw his hands up in the air and decided to enjoy himself.Much of the comic interplay comes from the pairing of two ambulance drivers (Jason Mewes and the deliciously bad taste Richard Fitzpatrick) who curse, shout and rant at the world in general.
Mewes is fun, and that sense of enjoyment rubs off, allowing you to ignore the plot holes (why don't the drug dealers come back?) and the fact that not a great deal happens during the film after all.
Sure, the ending is over-the-top and cheesy in the extreme, but as a whole BITTEN kicks the asses of plenty of other similar independent horror films..
The low budget is obvious and takes away from the quality of the movie for most viewers, to be sure, but watch it for the unique storyline..
Awful vampire romance/comedy starring, of all people, Jason Mewes (you know, Jay, as in Jay and Silent Bob, from the Kevin Smith movies).
He plays a paramedic who discovers a supermodel covered in blood and writhing in a pile of garbage and immediately drags her into his apartment to recover (presumably from an addiction to drugs, but really she's a vampire jonesing for blood).
There are three good reasons to watch this movie, and you can see them all right here: www.gossipcraze.com/_mm/_d/_ext2/48245/big_Erica Cox01.jpg.
The comedy is generally very unfunny, though I did like Mewes' filthy-minded co-worker (Richard Fitzpatrick), who keeps suggesting that Mewes sodomize his new girlfriend.
Jack (Jason Mewes) is a paramedic working the night shift who is depressed by his lack of girl-meeting opportunities after being dumped by his girlfriend.
He spends most of his time complaining about his lot to his older workmate (Richard Fitzpatrick - who looks a lot like Rod Steiger here) who is worryingly obsessed with all things anal, until he discovers one hot - but blood-splattered - chick (Erica Cox) lying in the rubbish outside his apartment.
Jack takes her to his apartment to tend her wounds and an intimacy grows between them even as Jack begins to have doubts about her nocturnal habits I can't recall seeing many vampire films that focus on the effect of a newly-acquired status as a vampire on the romantic relationship of the person afflicted and their loved one, so I suppose this cheap direct-to-video horror is to be applauded on that count.
Sadly, the subject is handled in such a dull, repetitive manner that there's little else to recommend it.The film's lack of budget is obvious from the murky lighting - even Jack's apartment is in perpetual darkness - and the negligible number of locations, but a small budget has never been a drawback to a talented, creative director.
Unfortunately, neither party are capable of rising to the challenge with any authority, even though the film starts off quite promisingly with some telling moments in the interplay between Jack and his older colleague (before, that is, the anal references become boringly frequent).
Jason Mewes (Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob, Mallrats) is a para medic who finds a girl in trouble (Erica Cox).
Bitten is a low budget black comedy-horror film, in the realm of Shaun of the Dead.
He takes her to his place and quickly discovers that she is a vampire who needs blood in order to survive.
This movie tries hard to be a comedy/horror and fails in both parts.
Of course their is gratuitous nudity to keep the straight male audience at least somewhat interested.I've seen a hell of a lot worse movies in my horror watching career.
OK, this guy (Mewes) wants to this girl (Cox) to the hospital, but she refuses to go.
I've seen better vampire movies.
If I wanted to a vampire movie..
Jason Mewes is Jack, a paramedic working the godawful graveyard shift with an old timer, Roger(Richard Fitzpatrick), whose moral compass points in one direction it seems(his dick) and any advice on relationships often concern getting laid.
Then, one night, Jack finds a beautiful woman covered in blood and his life will never be the same after helping her..she is, in fact, a vampire, having been bitten by at some point before Jack found her in a heap, lying in the garbage near his apartment.I imagine Mewes had been dying/itching to portray someone other than a wise-cracking stoner, with a little more depth and BITTEN was a role which allowed him to do so.
He's easy-going, tolerant, thoughtful, sensitive and kind(interesting enough, he's also vulnerable, as we see when Roger comments on ex Sherry's constant abuse towards Jack to him during their times at work).
Once Danika starts to feed, Jack's life becomes increasingly complicated.
First from Sherry who meets Danika while plundering through Jack's things looking for her own possessions in the apartment.
Then, from a pimp/drug dealer(and his underling), and, before you know it, Danika's insatiable blood thirst seriously demands much from Jack as he tries to appease her(the price for love, I guess).
I mean, eventually, Jack runs out of room to store the bodies of Danika's victims and he's always the one having to clean up after her.
"It's never enough." That's what Jack deals with and Roger is starting to become suspicious(three straight shifts without Jack are more than a little suspect).I figure fans of horror movies about sexy vamps will find BITTEN to their liking as Erica Cox is certainly easy on the eyes and almost always in panties and a t-shirt(and she does appear scantily clad on numerous occasions).
The movie almost exclusively occurs(except when Mewes and Fitzpatrick are on the job)in Jack's apartment or just outside.
That's a point Roger makes which I can agree with)..I just have a hard time believing Jack would jeopardize his life for a woman whose past remains murky.
Cox's sexy body and Fitzpatrick's quirky character might add some weight this minor vampire tale..
Bitten starts as a paramedic named Jack (Jason Mewes) returns to his apartment to find a bloody & injured woman named Danika (Erica Cox) lying between some rubbish bins, against his better judgement Jack decides to help Danika & takes her to his apartment.
However things take a turn for the worse when Danika murders Jack's ex-girlfriend Sherry (Jordan Madley) sprouts fangs & drinks her blood, Danika is a Vampire who needs fresh human blood to survive & a lovesick Jack goes along with it at the start.
As the bodies pile up & the guilt begins to hit Jack realises that he must put an end to his & Danika's relationship & put an end to her murdering blood drinking ways...This Canadian production was directed by Harvey Glazer & could be described as a dark comic horror about twisted love & a hot looking Vampire girl, while nothing amazing I did actually quite like Bitten for what it was.
The script is nothing that original in the sense of a love affair between a Vampire & a mortal being that has been the plot for many a Vampire film before but there's a nice dark comic edge here with some amusing filthy foul mouthed one-liners, a few mildly amusing gags & there's a fair amount of blood splatter, nudity & sex.
Bitten is limited in ambition, the majority of the film is set inside Jack's dark apartment & apart from the scene when Jack finds her Danika never actually leaves the apartment.
At a little over 80 minutes in length Bitten moves along at a decent enough pace, it has a good laid-back vibe & is watchable if your a horror fan but there's not too much to it & it does get a little repetitive as there seems to be endless chatter about Danika & her needs.
Bitten also tries to say a few things about relationship's, dependency & work but it's hardly life changing stuff.
Keep watching after the end credits as there's an extra scene which dilutes the ambiguous ending a little although I am sure some will like the sense of closure.The film looks quite good, it's competent even though it's quite darkly lit.
Erica Cox is a real hottie & she gets her breast's out on several occasion & for that we thank her.
There is also two bizarre scenes which are meant to be funny as Jack cleans up the bloody mess left by Danika after she feeds which are montages set to what sounds like a child's song from Barney the Dinosaur about tidying up your mess.Filmed in Ontario in Canada this looks like it had a reasonable budget, sure it's not Hollywood money but it looks quite nice with good production values.
Richard Fitzpatrick as Roger the comedy relief is amusing as he constantly talks about taking a crap.Bitten is a decent little horror comedy actually, it was a lot better than I thought it would be & together with some nudity & a few darkly comedic moments this turned out very watchable.
It has the usual elements of vampire movies...
The makers of this film obviously devoted some thought to the dark world of vampires.
I never had great appreciation on Jason Mewes stoned characters even if they are fun to watch; but this time is a clean person, full of personality issues though.
It is a pity that Erica Cox (aside from an excellent body, generously shown), is not capable of any acting; otherwise this will be an above average; almost very good movie.Jack (Mewes), a paramedic in the middle of a live crisis (his fiancée betrayed him and his life goes nowhere) finds Danika (Cox), a beautiful soon-to-become vampire and decides to protect her while falling for her.
Jack's best friend Roger is only concerned about sex and has no respect people or privacy.
An interested and very dark comedy could come out of that with just a little touching on the story and a stricter actor's direction..
Enjoyable vampire horror comedy.
Down on his luck night shift paramedic Jack's (an excellent and engaging performance by Jason Mewes) heretofore miserable lot in life seems to perk up after he meets and falls for lovely and mysterious young lady Danika (a fine and appealing portrayal by insanely foxy brunette Erica Cox).
The only problem is that Danika turns out to be a deadly and insatiable vampire.
whew!Jason Mewes has come a long way from his days playing a stoner counterpart to best friend Kevin Smith's short list of comedies.
And I find it absolutely hilarious when he freaks out over her feeding and cusses her out, then pausing and going, "Get your ass up and help me clean this f***ing mess up!His paramedic friend is funny, and he shows a lot of concern.
Even if the movie doesn't show it, you can suspend your disbelief and understand he cares a lot for Mewes' character.
I mean, I awesome that either so much time has passed that Mewes is nothing more than a monster, or that his buddy comes back after feeding time and they play checkers and talk about "anal."No matter what, though, the movie held my attention.
THis is billed as a comedy-horror film, but it isn't funny nor scary.
But when she gets a victim, blood ends up everywhere in the room except in the vampire's stomach, which seems to defeat the purpose.
However, when your ex-girlfriend turns up and Danika bites her in the neck and drinks her blood, it starts to become clear that she's actually a vampire.
Something about it doesn't quite jell, though.It is interesting to see Jason Mewes performing quite successfully away from Kevin Smith (with just as many f-words as usual, however), and Erica Cox is very fetchingly clothesless, if silicon-enhanced, as Danika (who seems to be quite a nice person except for her tendency to vampirise people to death)..
"Bitten" is an incredibly dull and almost worthless vampire entry.**SPOILERS**Frustrated with his life, medic Jack, (Jason Mewes) is content with laying his woes onto partner Roger, (Richard Fitzpatrick) about the situation, and decides to concentrate himself on his job.
Soon afterward, he rescues the mysterious Danika, (Erica Cox) from a life on the street and takes her back to his place.
When losing enough of those he knows finally convinces him that ending the relationship is for the better, he has to find a way out of the deadly situation.The Good News: There wasn't a whole lot here to like.
Most of it is supplied by the lead, and by doing it often, it gets better over time and generally works, making the scenes erotic, sexy or just sleazy.
It's one of the most memorable in the film and has a lot to like about it.
Some are quite fun, such as the two local drug dealers, who are each lured in through rather stupid means and are the result of rather nice ambush assaults that are quite deserving of them, and the different reactions with the ex-girlfriend result in a couple great scenes, especially the resurrection moment which almost moves the three-way out of the best scene in the film.
Most of this is due to the film's incredibly dull plot-line that doesn't do much of anything horror-related for nearly the entire running time.
This is because the film is more of a study of their relationship rather than a horror movie, and that isn't very helpful when it comes time to actually getting around and featuring much of anything that will help this one.
It's not like watching their interactions are very worthwhile since it's just endless scenes of them arguing and bickering together augmented by the other relationships, and for some, that might be enjoyable, but that doesn't make the film any sort to sit through.
The general idea of what's happening doesn't make a film interesting for those looking for more faster-paced material, and those are going to be the ones who aren't too big on this one as the very way it's supposed to play out means not a lot of interesting stuff happens.
The only other area that doesn't really work is the finale, which is just over way too soon and really lacks what could've been a fun ending.
These here are the film's flaws.The Final Verdict: There really isn't a whole lot to this, since most of the time nothing interesting is really happening.
Really only worth anything for fans of the genre, this particular style of vampire films or of the creative crew, while those looking for something more engaging from the genre should look elsewhere.Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity, several explicit sex scenes and rampant drug use