The Private Eyes
Tags: murder, flashback

Plot synopsis:
The film opens early in the twentieth century, at an English country mansion with the apparent murder of Lord and Lady Morley in their car by a figure in a black cape. Inspector Winship (Knotts) and Dr. Tart (Conway), two American detectives transferred over to Scotland Yard, then travel to the Morley mansion, brandishing a letter from the late Lord Morley asking him to investigate his own murder. They encounter the heiress (Trisha Noble) and a questionable staff. As the two investigate the murder, each of the staff, which includes a samurai, a hunchback, a busty maid, a gypsy, and an insane butler to mention a few, are seemingly killed. However, each of their bodies disappear before the detectives can show them to the heiress. The detectives then wind up in a "torture chamber" (whose purpose is not explained), where Winship is caught in a deadly trap until the caped figure ("The Shadow") leaps out to rescue him.
A boa constrictor then frightens them into a trash compactor, where they survive being compressed into a bale of garbage. Once out of the garbage, they find the heiress taking the Morley money and preparing to leave the mansion. She then confesses to having killed the Morleys for their money as she has a gambling habit. Planning to kill the detectives and escape the mansion, she falls backward into a flower bed while retreating, where she is grabbed by the shadowy figure, who has been hiding in the dirt. The shadow scares her to the point that she faints, at which time the shadow takes off his cape, revealing himself to be Lord Morley. Morley had escaped the car crash and gathered the staff in order to gain their help in a plan to force the heiress into confessing to the murder of his wife and attempt on his own life. Lord Morley remained "dead" (in hiding) as part of the plan, writing the letter to Scotland Yard in order to request Winship and Tart as investigators, presumably because of their incompetence, noted early on in the film. As Morley continues his tale, the members of the staff arrive, having faked their own deaths as part of the plan. The heiress is then arrested and the private eyes are thanked with a gift of a very rare sarcophagus, which is placed in their car.
As Winship and Tart enter their car and start driving, they get into an argument over the existence of creatures known as "wookalars," said to be manlike creatures with superhuman strength and a pig-like face. The film ends with the private eyes' car careening down the road as they scream in terror, due to the sudden appearance of a wookalar from their newly acquired sarcophagus.

Review: I've loved this film from the moment I saw it as a kid.
To this day Tim Conway's rambling "I think that someone doesn't want anyone to know that there may be someone here that might be someone that's a killer" line still gets me laughing!
Highly recommended to anyone in search of a fun (and funny) film!.
If you like Conway/Knotts, then you MUST see!.
I admit that this is not a movie that will be sung about by generations to come, but if you like Tim Conway and Don Knotts together (or your sense of humor is from the old Carol Burnette Show) then this one is for you.
This movie isn't meant for kids but clearly the whole family can enjoy (sorta like Rocky&Bullwinkle).
Any movie that features Don Knotts as a brilliant detective and Tim Conway as his faithful assistant certainly has courage going for it.But "Private Eyes" is better than you might expect; the setting (Biltmore Castle) is beautiful, the supporting cast (Fox in particular) is hilarious and a lot, if not all, of the gags are priceless.
Then again, what would you expect from Knotts' above-it-all air of pseudo-intelligence and Conway's endless pratfalls and an overcoat full of pigeons (don't ask)?
They're two of the old-school comedians who know what's funny and never try to go further than the jokes will go.
"Private Eyes" works because Knotts and Conway are, more or less, just being themselves.
Tim Conway & Don Knots are the definitive pair of fools.
The staff consists of various "freaks", all looking as though they are characters from a "fun house".The slap stick (which is happening every minute throughout the film) is often so silly that belly-laughs are assured.
Although predictable (we know that nothing serious could happen to our stupid heroes), the entire show is rather amusing and keeps the viewer's interest.Tim Conway is credited as one of the writers.
Fans of the star comedians will enjoy this film, and the added attractions on the DVD will be a welcome bonus..
I saw this movie for the first time when I was eight years old, and loved it from the start.
Even though at the time I wasn't old enough to get all the jokes, It still had a magic around it that was clearly evident.Tim Conway and Don Knotts provide the comic base, and are excellent comic partners.
The comedy is also good, clean humor that the entire family can laugh at.Another great thing is that the movie also is very suspenseful, as you the viewer don't know everything until the private eyes find it out..
Don Knotts and Tim Conway are my favorite comedians.
I liked this movie a great deal, mostly because they were in it together.
I like the mark they've made with this movie and their other works as well..
From all the Don Knotts and Tim Conway films I've seen, this is by far my favorite.
The fouled-up poems are always good for a laugh, not to mention the exceptionally well played "stoff," (not staff).
From what I recall from an interview I saw with Don Knotts, he said this, and all others with Conway are personal favorites, because they were so "hard to produce."  As he put it, it took probably three or four times as long to film as it should have because he and Conway couldn't stop improvising the script, and laughing, and so on.
What a FUN movie to watch!.
To get Don Knotts and Tim Conway together in a haunted horror movie spoof was just a great treat to sit back, laugh, and enjoy the memorable interaction between these two kings of slap stick comedy.
Both have great timing for slap stick comedy, and you just know that they are going to play off each others stupidity.
No disappointment here, just plenty of laughs and good memories.
Don Knotts and Tim Conway remind me a lot of Abbot and Costello in their prime.
The Private Eyes is a fun loving movie, with an endless reel of gag after gag, slap stick accident after accident, and you will probably shed a few tears of laughter before the movie ends.
I was just watching a bunch of people talking about the Andy Griffith Show ans the Don Knotts Barney Fife character and immediately, I thought about this film and one scene that still makes me laugh out loud when I think of it.
I was never a big fan of the gang from Mayberry (especially Goober who makes my skin crawl, but I digress) but the Don Knotts character I will always fondly remember is the nervous guy on the man in the street interviews with Steve Allen and the one that was such a great match for the hysterically funny Tim Conway.I also love Sherlock Holmes so this made this movie a must see for me.
Don Knotts as a "brilliant detective with COnway as his befuddled partner makes it all the more "I have to see this one" kind of movie.
I caught it originally on HBO in the days BEFORE cable TV and that one scene where the two send off a carrier pigeon but forget to open the glass door before throwing it in the air makes me laugh even as I'm typing this.
And when that unfortunate bird walks in loopy circles, if you don't laugh until your sides hurt or tears run down your face when you see it, you must have no soul so i don't want to know you.I love this movie and have to have that DVD now that I know it's available..
Written by Tim Conway.Please note that the DVD is indeed edited.
In the same era of true family entertainment movies like The Apple Dumpling Gang and Cloak and Dagger, I grew up watching this movie over and over again.
Since Don Knott's recent death and subsequent attention, it seemed this movie was never mentioned.
If watching Threes Company reruns aren't enough to get your Don Knotts dose, then this movie is for you.
"Two-thumbs Up" (Highly recommended if you need a good laugh).
After months of searching movie rental locations, with no progress, I decided to try Amazon.com to find this hilarious comedy.
I'm very happy to say that "The Private Eyes" movie was FOUND!
When I told John(my brother) that I had found "The Private Eyes" movie(on VHS & DVD)he immediately ordered two of these Don Knotts & Tim Conway classics.
Don Knotts and Tim Conway are perfect as the bumbling detectives sent to crack the case, and the "Wookilar" is beyond funny.
If you like them silly this is the movie for you..
Knotts and Conway on the Case!.
Don Knotts and Tim Conway are THE Private Eyes in this silly film about murder.
OK, so maybe "The Private Eyes" is sort of a rehash of "Murder by Death", but it's still a laugh riot.
In this case, Don Knotts is the irascible straight man and Tim Conway is his dimwitted assistant, looking into the killing of some aristocrats in a possibly haunted estate.
Sorry, but all I really wanted to say was that it was a good movie.
"The Private Eyes" is no comedy classic.
But it is a fun film that will amuse adults and make kids laugh and shriek with delight.Tim Conway and Don Knotts play a couple of bumbling (what else?) Scotland Yard detectives assigned to investigate a murder at a castle in England (actually North Carolina).
While in the castle they stumble across loads of creepy characters and situations.For anyone who has enjoyed this type of film ("Hold That Ghost" with Abbott and Costello, and "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" come to mind), "The Private Eyes" delivers the goods.
Just sit back with the family and have a good laugh..
It was the same case that was "funny" for the slap stick type of humor of what was considered funny "in the 70's and 80's" and so on for other TV shows for their time.
In my opinion watching this movie reflecting back to the time it was and remembering it as kid to now was just great.
The humor that made me smile was nice and made me think back to the days when i watched those shows, as i often do on nick at night, to laugh as I did then and still do even on reruns.
Tim Conway and Don Knotts do a great job of muddling thru trying to solve a mystery with a great supporting cast..
Very Funny Film, And Clean By Today's Standards.
A pair of detectives (Don Knotts and Tim Conway) are assigned the murder investigation of Lord and Lady Morley.
As the two investigate the murder, each of the staff, which includes a Japanese samurai caricature, a hunchback, a gypsy, and an insane butler have a part to play.This film is classically funny.
it is Don Knotts meets slapstick meets Scooby-Doo. And it sort of anticipates "Clue" (at least enough that it reminded me of "Clue" and I watched it immediately afterwards).I must confess that I am not familiar with Tim Conway.
And I know he co-wrote this script, so I suppose this is really more of a Conway film with Knotts along for the ride.
But that could just be a coincidence.)If you like good, clean humor and a bit of silliness, "The Private Eyes" is a good place to start.
Don Knots and Tim Conway make a very good comedy team here..
This movie was a favorite of mine as a kid as it had me laughing the entire time.
The story has to private eyes played by Knots and Conway investigating what appears to be a murder.
Though through it all Knots and Conway shine the brightest as they try to make heads or tails of the investigation interrogating everyone in the house at the time of the death and so on.
Yes, this movie was funny and the best movie Conway and Knots were in together..
i really liked this spoof of Sherlock Holmes,starring Don Knotts and Tim Conway.Knotts is Inpector Winship and Conway is Dr.Tart.Winship is a variation of the Holmes character,but dumber.tart is a variation of Watson,but also dumber.the story is that Winship and Tart are dispatched by Scotland yard to investigate the death of a British aristocrat and his wife.the kicker is,both are American.it's funny seeing two Americans detectives working for Scotland Yard.Winship dresses just like Holmes and Tart dresses just like Watson.both are inept and clueless,and have caused no shortage of chaos and trouble in the states.apparently they are put on the case as punishment or to keep them from trouble,as they are an embarrassment to their superiors.as part of their investigation,they end up at the huge mansion of the aristocrat,questioning the large staff contingent (who are also very quirky),and bumbling from one false clue to the next.from the opening scene slapstick is the order of the day,and there is a lot of it.the characters are so dimwitted and the situations so absurd,it's hard not to laugh out loud frequently.i really had a blast.it's not high art,but it is entertaining.
great family movie.
Nice humor and Tim Conway and Don Knotts is always great together.
The kids love this movie.
But for good clean humor and entertainment this is it.
I actually went to the theater to see this when it first came out and was surprised to see that it was filmed in a very familiar location, The Biltmore House in Asheville, N.C. Don Knotts is the overbearing lead detective as Tim Conway is the clumsy assistant trying to solve a homicide at the huge mansion.
Tim Conway is typical Tim from the Carol Burnette Show but it really is both of them together that makes this movie so funny.
The movie is clean and would be very enjoyable by the whole family as these two goof-balls are hilarious..
This movie is very lighthearted and funny.
Don Knotts is my favorite actor of all time.
The film is filled with sophmoric humor and jokes that just don't make me laugh now.
I was dazed into a boring humdrum watching this as Don Knotts and Tim Conway bulldoze their way through an unimaginative script trying desperately to make stale jokes seem fresh.
I loved the film as a kid, and I will heartily recommend it to them.
Knotts and Conway obviously have chemistry between them and that chemistry worked very well in the Apple Dumpling movies, primarily because the two were not the foundation of those films.
Conway and Knotts' relationship just cannot fortify a film very long as its major strength.
Now, the film does have some funny moments, but it never really comes off as a good quality parody of movies like The Cat and the Canary.
After starring in the lackluster THE PRIZE FIGHTER, Tim Conway and Don Knotts teamed up again for THE PRIVATE EYES.
Particularly standing out in THE PRIVATE EYES are Trisha Noble as the sultry, quirky heiress whom detectives Conway and Knotts try to protect and Bernard Fox as the deranged butler Justin who goes berserk at the mention of the word "Murder."THE PRIVATE EYES is a throwback to all those old haunted house comedies like Abbott and Costello's HOLD THAT GHOST in which the comic protagonist[s] endures numerous scares while trying to figure out the mysterious goings-on.
The Biltmore House and Gardens in Asheville, North Carolina, where the film was made is an appropriate Gothic setting for the chills that Conway and Knotts experience.
There are some genuine laughs, such as when Knotts explains how the heiress's parents were killed and Conway, in his enthusiasm to figure out what clues the explanation could reveal, proceeds to perform the same actions the murderer did, nearly killing Knotts in the process.
But THE PRIVATE EYES is also saddled with embarrassingly childish jokes (at one point, Knotts, Conway, and Fox do the old "walk this way" routine) and repetitive gags that quickly lose steam.
The film never pretends to be anything more than an old-fashioned horror comedy and Conway and Knotts clown around with no misconceptions of profundity.
THE PRIVATE EYES is not essential viewing, but it's a pleasant time killer for a rainy day..
Don knotts is classic alone, and even better and funnier when paired with Tim Conway.
The gags are very funny, and it's also very clean and family-friendly.
I love the environment also, the Biltmore house is an awesome setting for this film.
Conway and Knotts are just a classic team, like a old version of amy pohler and Tina Fey. I love the twist ending too, as I always do!
Laughs at every corner, awesome setting, smart dialogue, and cool effects makes for a great movie night at home one night!.
This is a great family or saturday morning film, and an even better DVD with a full length commentary done by Tim Conway himself.
Knotts and Tim Conway as a pair of visiting inept private eyes who get an
English murder mysteries the better for Knotts and Conway to get lost and
this all out.Knotts and Conway are a latter day version of Laurel&Hardy with Conway as
probably doing it better.Just about every haunted house gag there ever was is thrown into this film.
Knotts and Conway handle them well.
I gave this film a 2 only because it did have potential with Tim Conway and Don Knotts in it.
It just doesn't move as a movie like this should.
While I consider Conway a good tv comedian, only Knotts ever showed potential for the big screen after leaving the Andy Griffith show.
"The Private Eyes", starring Don Knotts and Tim Conway, is a guilty pleasure at best.
Be that as it may, the real question is this: why is a relative piece of junk like this getting the premium DVD treatment, when a true classic like Don Knott's "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" languishes on the VHS shelfs!!!?
Don Knotts can be funny, and so can Tim Conway.
But this movie didn't provoke one laugh, chuckle, or smile from me.
The movie also blows it when it comes to the murder mystery itself.
Specifically, they found the Lord Morley character to be the most frightening.My 9 year old hasn't been able to go to sleep in his own bedroom for the 2 nights in a row since seeing this movie.
Parents might want to preview this film before showing it to their younger children or at the very least watch it with them.
This is rather surprising and disappointing for a PG rated film that was written by Tim Conway who was always so very funny on the Carol Burnett show..
Family Movie Night.
Like many other reviewers on IMDb, I remember this movie from when I was a kid.
Full of secret passages and trap doors, an old house like that is just one of those things that every kid gravitates to.
Like dinosaurs or superheroes, a spooky house is an easy sell for young audiences.Watching it for the first time as an adult, I am convinced that anyone giving the movie a positive review is doing so based only on fond childhood memories.
This movie might be the most unfunny thing I have ever watched.
Everybody likes Don Knotts, but I got no enjoyment from him calling Tim Conway names for 90 minutes.
If lines like "You Dope!" and "Will you shut up?" sound funny to you, then this might be comedy gold.
As the movie continued, I just kept thinking, Who would laugh at this?
The other defense that I see people using is that this movie is good, clean family entertainment.
To me, it feels like the movie was made for family audiences by people who were out of touch with what was appropriate for kids.
Which is true of many family films.