One-Eyed Monster

Plot synopsis:
A disclaimer in the opening shot reads: "In February 2007, ten people went to the remote mountains of Northern California to shoot an adult movie. What happened next was something no one expected, but everyone saw coming."On a snow-covered mountain, a bus, truck, and a few cars arrive at a remote camp area to film a porn film. The group makes up of professional porn actors Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart (more or less playing themselves), novice porn stars Rock (John Edward Lee), Angel (Carmen Hart), Wanda (Jenny Guy), Lance (Bart Fletcher), as well as the director and producer Jim (Jeff Denton), cameraman T.J. (Caleb Mayo), gaffer-electrician and sound guy Jonah (Jason Graham), and makeup and script girl Laura (Amber Benson).After being dropped off by the school bus driver who leaves them behind, the group settles in their living quarters for the next few days to shoot. While Laura talks with Ron about his past career days, the guys, Lance, Rock and T.J. talk about T.J.'s latest suck-and-squeeze device for carnal pleasure that Jim wants to market, while Angel and Wanda talk about their experiences on the porn sets. Radio reports begin to describe a "strange light" in the sky that has been hovering over the mountains for the last several hours as Jim gets down to directing, starting with the first scene with Ron and Veronica. During a break in filming, Jonah goes outside to get some more lights from the truck while Ron also goes out to relief himself. Suddenly, a strange light hits Ron who then collapses to the ground. Jonah helps him up and they go back inside to finish filming the scene. Ron is acting strangely and begins to exhibit strange behavior as he begins performing in the sex scene with Veronica, who begin screaming in pain as Jim tries to yell "cut" as Ron continues to have rough sex with her. The guys are forced to pull Ron off Veronica as he goes into convulsions and suddenly dies. T.J., Jeff, and Jonah try to help Veronica who begins hemorrhaging and she looses conciseness. They guys look over to help Ron and see that he is dead. But they also notice that Ron's legendary 10-inch penis is gone as well.In Angel's room, she is rehearsing her upcoming scene, when the disembodied penis attacks her. Wanda walks in on this and runs out to inform Rock, Lance and Laura who run in only to find the disembodied member gone and Angel dead, with a large and gory hole in the back of her head. While everyone runs out to tell the others, Laura has an encounter the disembodied dick which attacks her.Holding themselves up in the main cabin, Jonah, Jim, T.J., Lance, Rock, and Wanda try to make sense of what is going on, just when Laura walks in, acting strangely. After the guys carry Ron's dead body outside, they debate on what to do since they are stranded there and no one has any signal for their cell phones. Rock wants to make a run for the cars to try to get off the mountain, but when he runs outside, the disembodied penis appears and shoves itself through him. When Jonah and T.J. run outside in a futile attempt to save him, they are surprised by the appearance of a rugged mountain man, named Montz (Charles Napier) who brings them back inside to the main cabin.Resting, Jonah and T.J. make the assumption that Ron's missing dick is possessed by some kind of alien force and is wants to use it's power to destroy and possibly do worse. Jeff suggests finding a way to kill it while Laura, who continues acting strange, wants to capture it. Lance and Wanda retreat to a nearby bathroom where he tries to calm down the growing hysterical Wanda over this unbelievable turn of events. Just then, the severed penis slithers in through an crack in the bathroom window and attacks them both.Jonah and T.J. come up with a plan to capture the lethal creature by luring it through an open window, using a pair of women's panties borrowed from Laura, to try to trap it with Jeff's suck and squeeze device. Montz volunteers to kill it after he gives them a creepy but hilarious monologue about his encounter with a similar event back in Vietnam in the 1960s where he saw his platoon getting killed by a disembodied penis that came from the body of his commanding officer. T.J. volunteers to help out and has Jonah lock him and Montz in the kitchen to make sure that if they fail that Rock's dick will not be able to get them. But while their backs are turned, the disembodied "one-eyed monster" slithers into the kitchen and strangles Montz to death, while it shoves itself in rapid speed through T.J. killing him.Jim panics and runs into the nearby bathroom only to find a dead and cocooned Lance and Wanda against the wall. Panicking, he runs outside to the nearby barn and tries to start a snow speeder to try to escape. But the severed penis follows him in a super-fast chase down the mountain where it knocks him off his snow speeder and then gruesomely slices him in two from the crotch to the top of the head as it burrows through the snow.Back at the main cabin, the three survivors of Jonah, Laura, and the barely conscious Veronica are beside themselves and wait. Jonah, after being told earlier by Montz about the location of an old radio antenna atop the nearby mountain, suggests they run to a nearby cabin that Montz told them about where they is an underground passageway to the radio shack where they can travel to it and radio for help. With Veronica having regained some of her strength, they make it to the passageway, which is apparently an old mine shaft and walk through the long tunnel and make it to the radio shack where Jonah tries to get the radio to work only the severed dick follows them and lands on Laura. Jonah tries to swing at it with an axe, but the "thing" is much too fast and keeps evading his blows. Veronica then thinks of a way to fight it. She lays down on the floor and offers it to the entity which shoves itself between her legs. Veronica tells Jonah and Laura to run for safety as she will keep it occupied and use her expert thighs to drain it of it's power. Jonah and Laura flee from the radio shack cabin and down the mountain just as Veronica makes the severed dick to climax which it "blows it's load". The penis monster explodes in a massive blast, destroying itself as well as killing Veronica and blows up the radio cabin in a massive blast covering the sky with millions of particles.Jonah and Laura seek shelter in a nearby shack where they huddle for the night. At dawn, Laura hears sounds of rain, but Jonah tells her that the rain is "Ron". The remains of the penis monster is raining down semen on the entire area.At dawn, when the sounds had decapitated, Laura leaves the cabin and a sleeping Jonah where she ventures outside and to a place in the snow where she seems to be distraught over the death of the one-eyed monster. Laura reveals a massive bulge in her abdomen as she is now impregnated by the penis monster which attacked her earlier and will now be the apparent breeding chamber to the one-eye monster's off spring.....

Tags: violence

Review:
If you like horror, comedy or feel-good penis movies....
Thankfully, the people behind One Eyed Monster have provided a magnum (condom) opus of fun.On a remote porn shoot, a killing spree begins at the "hands" of the titular character.
His purposefully wooden acting during the porn shoot perfectly balances the bit of heart he has when commiserating with fellow veteran Veronica Hart.If you are looking for a think piece about the travesties of the justice system or the inequities of societal living, this is not your movie (you pompous pompous person).If you want some good laughs, look to One Eyed Monster to give them to you..
It's just more of the same goofy genital humor.A blazing meteorite/beam of energy type thing crashed into Ron Jeremy as he was star-gazing at the night sky.
Just so you know where I stand with the above flicks that I mentioned, I enjoyed Killer Pussy (great nudity) and Teeth (bizarre dark humor) about equal, with this next and Bad Biology (tried way too hard to be funny) last..
As B-Horror movies go, "One Eyed Monster" is a unique hit.
You have to watch "Pervert!" to find another movie where a detached penis is the serial killer.
Just that fact alone is amazing when you consider porn actresses Veronica Hart and Carmen Hart are also in the movie.
This is just simply a horror spoof comedy, in which Ron Jeremy's now possessed penis goes around on an evil killing spree.
A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie.I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy.
(For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.) Oh, and Charles Napier.
Lots of Fun. OK I know what many are thinking about a film called "One Eyed Monster" and you are correct, it is about that.
What I mean is that this film is about a killer penis, or to be more specific Ron Jeremy's penis.
Without giving too much away, what we have here is a film that takes Ron Jeremy's penis and turns it into a ravening monster (which I believe many girls in the adult industry say already, in a loving way).
The cast is great with adult cinema alumns Veronica Hart, Carmen Hart, and of course Ron. It also boasts actress and author extrondinaire Amber Benson along with genre vet Charles Napier.
A rather typical "monster attacks isolated group" movie becomes a lot more fun when the group is a bunch of porn film people and the monster is the penis of Ron Jeremy!And it just gets better.
Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart star in it and, before the unthinkable happens, they manage to slip some commentary on the adult business nowadays.
All the reused scenes from other movies that I would disgustedly call clichés, in this one they become omages to classic horror films.Bottom line: it makes a perfect fun beer movie with a bunch of friends.
I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the all time super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.This is a very clever take on that theme.
A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and get trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew.Believe it or not, the production values are quite good, elevating this way above cheesy.
The outstanding performance, hands down, is that of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day." (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!) Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime, this CERTAINLY being sublime!, this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection.
The crew shooting a pornography film head toward on old cabin in the middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members.Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been.
Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous.
I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the alltime super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.This is a very clever take on that theme.
A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and gets trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew.
The outstanding performances, hands down, are those of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day," (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!), and a positively hilarious turn by none other than Charles Napier.Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime (this most assuredly being sublime), this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection.
i have only seen this once before, the last time i saw, it was silly and fun.Now seeing for second time, it feel a little tame the second times around, the jokes are still funny.Which the over the top plot, i did notice there not much gore in this movie at all, i didn't not like the fact some of the deaths scenes were off screen.did chuckle at one deaths scenes that was on screen and when that tailwager attacks the victims at first was funny, it got a bit boring as the movie went on.I really enjoyed some references to other horror pass horror movies, which were fun to watchThe acting from whole cast was really good, as they made even more silly and fun to watch.6 out of 10 for.
When I saw the trailer, I expected a slapstick horror-movie that makes fun of both the cliché's in porn and horror-genres.
I expected a little bit more entertainment from a movie about a penis that goes around killing people.The gore is also pretty nonexistent which was a letdown for me.
I thought that a movie like this would at least go all the way with the killings, but this movie is actually pretty tame except for perhaps the shots of people wrestling with a rubber dildo.
Its actually pretty amazing that the creators could make this movie boring with the plot that it has, but they did it.If you are looking for a good nonsense horror-movie to watch with your buddies like I was, then don't stop here.
It's painfully obvious that she was actually green-screened in to several scenes in post production, often with wildly different encoding/film stock than the other cast.
It's like watching a professional crew film a first draft script.It ran the gamut between clever and stupid and often found its cruising speed on the ridiculous and mundane.
So many obvious comedic dialogue opportunities were missed, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and story choices that defied common sense, left me with the impression of a family funded backyard film project, despite the professional production values.I would recommend this film to aspiring screenwriters to see what their 1st draft scripts would look like on screen....
This is Ron Jeremy's worst performance to date, and I'm pretty sure at some point before this, he played a dead body and loudly farted during the scene.
If permanent blindness is your idea of a good time, by all means watch this brain cell killing abortion.
The only good thing about this film is I think it killed my liver fluke about 30 minutes in..
One-Eyed Monster "borrows" from several "Aliens take over the world" movies.
ONE-EYED MONSTER is a low rent comedy horror that makes use of real-life porn-film legend, Ron Jeremy.
The plot is preposterous - an alien life force comes to each and possesses Jeremy's detached penis before going on a killing spree - but the execution is surprisingly likable given the paucity of imagination and the sheer dumbness of the premise.The story template is pretty much a rip-off of Carpenter's THE THING, with characters holed up in a snowbound cabin and finding themselves bumped off one by one by an unseen premise.
It's also tamer than you might think and rarely distasteful.Oddly enough, the best acting comes from the two genuine porn stars in the film, Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart.
B-movie fans will enjoy the presence of old-time cult star Charles Napier in a supporting role, although my favourite character is the geeky Ed Bryne-lookalike sound technician..
What could they possibly have in common?You know it's "adult" because Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart are in it.
They are off in the woods making an adult film when the strangest thing happens.Ron is invaded by the alien force which settles in his penis.
One-Eyed Monster starts as a bus-load of hardcore porn stars arrive at an isolated log cabin on a mountain, along with the crew T.J.
The trapped cast & crew assume that Ron's penis has been possessed by an alien life-force & is trying to spread it's seed throughout humanity by taking control of Ron Jeremy's penis & having sex with as many women as it can.
The only question is, can they stop it?Co-written, produced & directed by Adam Fields this comedy horror is like a ten year old dream come true, a few naked breasts's, a bit of blood & a one note joke about an alien possessed killer penis that I am sure will appeal to those with a rock bottom sense of humour but for anyone looking for a funny & witty horror comedy expect disappointment.
At less than 80 minutes long One-Eyed Monster actually drags in places, the character's have a few amusing one-liners every now & again but generally they are stupid clichés who irritate.
The killer penis gets like a minute of screen time.
For a supposed gross out horror comedy about an alien possessed killer penis running amok during a hardcore porn film shoot One-Eyed Monster is unbelievably tame & none eventful.
To give it some credit the sexual innuendos, one-liners & double entendres can be quite amusing at times but does get a little boring by the end & there's only so far penis jokes can carry a film.
I won't even bother picking holes in the script as it's clearly not a film to be taken seriously even though at times one did get the impression that the makers were treating it all very seriously, too seriously in fact.AS I already mentioned despite it's premise & situations One-Eyed Monster is amazingly tame, I think only one actress bares her breast's while no-one is killed on screen at all.
The effects are alright but on the few occasion when you do actually see the alien possessed killer penis it looks like a fresh big long brown turd.The acting isn't too bad, ageing porn stars Ron Jeremy & Veronica Hart appear while porn starlet Carmen Hart also appears & is terrible.
God knows what an old pro like Charles Napier is doing in this.One-Eyed Monster is a film that has a magnificent & simply outrageous premise that in the right hands hands could have been the gross out horror comedy of the decade, as it is it's a boring tame mess with only a few one-liners & sexual innuendo to recommend it.
Went in with low expectations, and thought the premise sounded funny, but the movie wasn't that funny at all..
While watching the film I was thinking of all the of ways it could have been better...unfortunately, this film is not funny enough to score any higher than this.
Bring in the Evil Dead bunch, re-cast Ron in his role here, maybe even add Adam Green as a director, and boost the comedy and horror aspects of this movie while still keeping it silly, and you'd have a real winner.
Ron Jeremy wasn't a good part of the movie, good thing he died in the beginning.
This is a good movie for someone mature who wants some laughs, there are a lot of bad b movies out there but this one is about an alien taking control of Ron Jeremy's dick, which makes it all the funnier..
In the film, 10 people go to the wintry mountains of northern California to make an adult film, with porn legends Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart serving as consultants.
Still, many of the picture's lines are pretty funny, the acting is surprisingly good, and there is even a sweet scene in which Ron and Veronica reflect on getting older and not so spry that is actually kinda touching.
Hard core porn legend Ron Jeremy's disembodied shlong goes on a rampage attacking the cast crew of an adult movie shoot in a mountain cabin.
This is more a gore comedy with vulgar language, most appropriate in regards to the industry this film conveys(..in other words, most of the language is of a sexually explicit kind).Ron Jeremy(..recognized as his first film, introduced to the mainstream audience)has a limited screen time, which might disappoint his fans.
Jason Graham is a crew member, a soldier during the Gulf War, who assumes the leadership role, Amber Benson(..Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series) as a make-up girl in love with Ron, and Jeff Denton is the sleazy, cowardly a$$hole director porn casts love to hate.
Rounding out the cast is Caleb Mayo as a MacGyver-like genius whose "neural tactile simulator"(..a dick massaging machine programmed to feel like the orifice of whomever is chosen!)comes in handy, Bart Fletcher and Jenny Guy as young porn actors, and Carmen Hart as an actress who gets to worst kind of head imaginable..
I recorded ONE EYED MONSTER on a whim, as it featured Ron Jeremy in his first legitimate movie.
It's an "R" version of an adult movie being filmed away from the city, the boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.Thank goodness Ron Jeremy's screen time is limited to about 20 minutes, before his character -- he plays himself -- is killed off.
As bad as Ron Jeremy's acting is, the rest of the cast is even worse!
I know this is supposed to be funny; and, yes, some of the death scene's are reminiscent of SCARY MOVIE; but, that does little to save this film.The gag of a homicidal, detached penis gets old fast.
(Why mention that in connection with film viewing: coz even that was a disappointment coz although there is a scene in which porn star struck character (Laura / Amber Benson) is instructed (er, directed by director?) to remove her panties so to lure the disembodied 'dick' of the titular owner's, they were NOT the same!
"One Eyed Monster" is a fun and solid throwback to the monster films of the past.**SPOILERS**Traveling out to the mountains, Laura, (Amber Benson) Jonah, (Jason Graham) Jim, (Jeff Denton) T.J., (Caleb Mayo) Lance, (Bart Fletcher) Wanda, (Jenny Guy) Veronica, (Veronica Hart) Rock, (John Edward Lee) Angel, (Carmen Hart) and Ron, (Ron Jeremy) the cast and crew of an adult movie, take over an abandoned cabin to make the movie.
Trapped in by a snowstorm, they try to find a way of stopping it's sexually-potent attacks before they're all killed off one-by-one.The Good News: This one here was actually really good and enjoyable.
That's what makes those so fun, and that the whole thing is played off as one big scene is where it really gets the most enjoyment from.
Another really good encounter is a fun chase scene through the snow, where the victim on a snowmobile tries to outrun the thing burrowing through the snow, which is pretty exciting at times and concludes on a rather great kill.
There's also a rather good scene, which doesn't have any action at all, where the film decides to have some fun and decides to re-write history featuring the alien's impact in a major event in history in a manner that comes off as plausible under the circumstances and actually has some rather interesting presentations because of it, and even though its just dialog all the way through, there's some enjoyment to be had from this scene.
It's also really nice to know that the film manages to have a level of cheese attached to it, mostly through the premise and how it unfolds, which is rather nice and definitely gets some good points to it.
These here are the film's good moments.The Bad News: There wasn't much at all really wrong with this one.
One of the few problems is the fact that there's a pretty large amount of kills here which either happen off-screen or are completely bloodless, which doesn't go over well with this type of film.
This is the kind of film where it's expected to go completely full-on in it's blood and gore scenes, and to have instances where scenes like the first attack are shown at an angle so as to be completely unable to witness any of it except through the dialog explaining it, which takes a lot of the fun out of the scene, or other attacks where it does the same thing and completely keeps the kill off-screen.
From the sexual innuendo while the porn shoot is going on to the constant references to his manhood and finally to the props showcasing it in action and the kill inside the bathroom, it can be something that turns off those that have no desire to see such things on-screen.