Pirates of the Great Salt Lake

Plot synopsis:
Captain Kirk Redgrave and his first mate, Flint Weaver, are two pirates who set out to be the fiercest pirates on the Great Sea (the Great Salt Lake). The movie begins with a man in white using a metal detector on the beach. He happens upon a sleeping Kirk and begins to tell the audience the legend of a young man who wanted to find his fortune. On his journey, the young man meets a mapmaker and ends up at a cursed mountain cave filled with treasure. While taking the riches, he is attacked by the skeleton in the cave and killed, ripping the map in his attempt to escape.
Back at the Great Sea, after Flint and Kirk "raid" a boat, Kirk finds a map tucked into the inside of a shoe Flint fished out of the lake. The two can't help but plunder an unattended corn stall on their way to bike to the library to find the origin of the mysterious map. Once there, a librarian aids the boys by telling them "either it's real, or it's fake". She shows them a page in an encyclopedia containing the second half of the map. Unfortunately, the book is from "General Reference" and cannot be checked out, much to Kirk's irritation. While trying to tear the page out of the book, Kirk notices an unattended photo copying machine, which they use to photocopy the page and their faces. Later, Kirk becomes frustrated and throws away the map, complaining he can't decipher it because a "pirate map is only good to the pirate who made it". Flint saves the map.
While camping outside on the beach, Kirk recounts the story of how he became a pirate three weeks ago (Skulls & Crossbones in the Closet). His mother walks in on him dressed as a pirate, wearing makeup, watching pirate movies and fashioning his own sword, all while speaking in an English accent. She is disgusted and announces she is taking him to the doctor because this "perversity" is "not natural". After she says he's not a pirate, Kirk takes his leave, putting on his eyepatch and tucking in his sword. He steals a tandem bike and disappears off into the night. As he continues to talk with Flint, they come across the problem of their ship, Jolly Old St. Nick, which has a large hole in the bottom of it. Kirk maintains the ship is "hardly scratched" (Holy Ship).
The next day, while relaxing in the hot sun, Flint speaks more of the map, but he is cut off by Kirk, who notices an elderly woman and her father picnicking. They run across a large expanse of land before approaching the two picnickers, completely exhausted and out of breath. The woman congratulates Kirk and Flint on their good acting before giving them drinks and food. Kirk becomes irritated when the woman isn't intimidated by their pirate ways and walks off in exasperation. Flint explains how Captain Kirk can't eat any thing he doesn't steal, because "it's the pirate's way". While the old man complains how he hates Star Trek, the woman revokes her offer with a wink before handing Flint the food and watching him run off to tell Kirk how he stole the food while her back was turned. Kirk then complains about how pirates are no longer menacing because of "that damn Johnny Depp". He admits "maybe it's time to lower the flag". Flint again mentions the map and how it could solve all their problems; they could hire a menacing, bloodthirsty crew, buy a real ship and swords and girlfriends. Kirk then claims he's been thinking about the map, and he thinks it's time to start an expedition. They plunder a child's cookie and juice stand and are chased by a mother with a newspaper. While enjoying their rewards, Flint accidentally spills juice across the map, revealing a coincidental symbol. It is identical to the symbol on the Mount Crevice Real Estate sign Flint had fished out of the lake at the beginning of the movie. After calling the number and arguing about whether the Great Salt Lake is a sea or an inland lake, Flint realizes it's not Mount Crevice Real Estate they're after, it's Mount Crevice herself.
While walking back to the beach, they pass McGrath's Fish House, where Flint and Kirk first met (Eye for an Aye). Flint recounts how he met a girl named Ruby while having crab. He asks her out, but she turns him down because he's "too nice a guy". He steals her megaphone and leaves, meeting up with Kirk on his tandem bike. Kirk hands him his eyepatch as a symbol of friendship, and the two ride off together. In real time, Flint takes a moment to visit Ruby again, who comments on his sexy pirate outfit before leaving with her boyfriend.
The next day, Kirk breaks in to his own house, pretending to break a window by smashing a bottle on the ground. They raid the house, stealing everything from cold pizza to silverware to the pirate memorabilia in Kirk's room. They bring everything to a pawn shop, where they sell it for 155 dollars in store credit. While shopping, the pawn shop owner, Drake, offers to buy the treasure map for five hundred dollars cash. Just before setting off, Kirk drinks some old water that makes him sick. Flint pawns the bike for fifty dollars. After being provoked and called a fake, Flint announces the whereabouts of the boat. While shopping for food and medicine at the grocery store, Drake calls in someone to watch the store so he can go down to the lake and harass Kirk and Flint for the treasure. After receiving no answers about the whereabouts of the map, Drake shoots Kirk in the shoulder before threatening to kill him. Kirk asks to be killed by walking the plank, which Drake exasperatingly agrees to. Once entering the Great Sea, Kirk complains about the salt water entering his wound and wishes to choose a different form of death. Drake shoots him, and in a fit of rage, Flint cuts off Drake's hand, stabs his side and knocks Drake unconscious with a boot. Flint takes Kirk's dead body to the shore and begins to dig a grave.
The man in white from the beginning of the movie once again appears, to say a short proverb about death and its inevitableness. Flint sees and talks to Kirk's ghost, who convinces Flint to keep searching for the treasure. Drake, who appears to still be alive, sews back on his hand with a needle and rope. He also burns his side wound to temporarily seal it.
Later that night, Kirk and Flint talk about how they envisioned their death, and Kirk reveals his father was trampled to death by lions. Flint pulls out a letter from Kirk's mother, Catherine Lynn Redgrave, to Kirk and reads it to him. She apologizes to Kirk for her behavior and promises she will always love him, unless he becomes a convicted serial killer or a Democrat. She warns him there is no place in heaven for pirates. Kirk and Flint speak more about whether or not there's a place in heaven for pirates, and if that's why Kirk is a ghost instead of in heaven.
Continuing on further to Mount Crevice, Flint and Kirk happen upon an old mapmaker, who appeared in the story at the very beginning of the film. He is excited to see that Flint and Kirk, who have never seen this man before, have returned. The mapmaker prints out a picture, taken "before cameras existed", of two pirates who look identical to Flint and Kirk. In a flashback (Cutthroat's Debt), it is revealed that the pirate Cutthroat Dan, Flint's doppelganger, had a map made years ago, but the bill for the map was never repaid. Cutthroat stabs the mapmaker and kills his first mate, Kirk's doppelganger, before stalking off with his map. The mapmaker places a curse on the map, so that anyone who touches Cutthroat's treasure will die, and the curse can only be lifted if the debt is repaid. However, because of the rate of interest, the debt is almost four million dollars. Flint gives back the map and goes back home, where he gets rid of all his pirate paraphernalia. Flint delivers Kirk's dead body to Mrs. Redgrave before hanging up his pirate lifestyle for good. Flint goes back to the McGrath's Fish House and begins an innocent relationship with Ruby. The Fish House is visited by Detective Anderson, a detective working for Mrs. Redgrave and searching for Flint Weaver. Ruby lies and says she hasn't seen him around. Ruby goes to talk to Flint, calling him her "crab-loving bad boy", but he seems to have disappeared abruptly. Anderson also visit's Flint's grandmother, claiming Flint blew a man's brains out. This causes Flint to take "precautionary measures"; he begins wearing a fake beard and a robe.
During this time, Drake, too, happens upon the old mapmaker, where he tries to speak awful Spanish. He spies the map sticking out of a trunk with other maps, so he injures the old mapmaker and steals the map. He calls someone on the phone and talks about making a commercial. This commercial, which is advertising a treasure hunting expedition led by the Good Pirate Drake, is seen by Flint and Kirk, who are shocked that Drake is alive and has the map.
After an unsuccessful visit to Kirk's mother, Flint and Kirk are back at the old corn stand, where they are visited by the mapmaker, who can apparently see Kirk and enjoys sniffing corn. The mapmaker, now "run out of business", offers to drop the two pirates off somewhere, but they decline. After departing, the man in white appears again, with a horse, to provide an insight on how a man in search of a cursed treasure is liable to get stuck in limbo until the curse is broken. Kirk approaches the man, unaware of the audience, and asks who the man is speaking to. Flint has a revelation and takes off to the Redgrave house, where he kidnaps Mrs. Redgrave. He signs up for Drake's treasure hunting expedition under the alias Harold and Maude Hogan, and convinces Mrs. Redgrave to go along with the fiasco. Mrs. Redgrave has a flashback (Why She Hates Pirates So) of herself as a young girl on Halloween that explains why she hates pirates to much. In the flashback, she is harassed by a pirate waiter at McGarth's, attacked by teenagers in pirate costumes, and comes home to find her father dressed as a pirate and fashioning his own sword in her parents' room.
During the expedition, Drake is repeatedly injured. He is hit in the eye and has a trap caught on his leg, all while only twenty feet from his car. The only other person on the expedition, Lance, questions why Drake works in a pawn shop if he is so rich from the treasure hunting expeditions. As he realises it's all a sham, Lance accidentally rips off Drake's hand again and runs off into the forest by himself. Finally, they arrive at the treasure, and Cutthroat is discovered to also be a ghost, but a ghost only visible to Kirk. Cutthroat reveals not all of his treasure was cursed (Nosebeard's Blunder). Cutthroat's first mate, Nosebeard, bought a weak boat in an attempt to keep money for himself, which only succeeded in a box of six hundred pounds of gold bars sinking to the bottom of the Great Sea. Mrs. Redgrave also enters the cave, but she falls prey to the siren's call of the treasure, and she, too, dies. Drake reveals he has known Flint's true identity the whole time, and he was using Flint to lead him to the treasure. Flint stabs Drake once more, leaving Drake injured in the cave. Flint steals Drake's car and drives to McGarth's, where he picks up Ruby before driving down to the lake.
Detective Anderson, who is searching for Mrs. Redgrave, also known as the Redgrave Hostage, begins searching for them. He is at the corn stand when Flint drives by, and he follows them. Anderson confiscates a blow-up raft from a man in order to follow Flint across the lake. Once they have arrived at the opposite shore, Cutthroat's ghost and the man in white's metal detector lead Flint to the same spot he had begun to dig Kirk's grave. The man in white appears for the last time to recite a proverb about looking for what we already have. Flint digs up the gold and pulls out a few gold bars, just enough to pay the debt. Ruby begins to beat Flint with a shovel until Detective Anderson appears just in time to arrest her. While Anderson tries to arrest Flint, he is knocked out by a bar of gold. Flint delivers the rest of the gold to the mapmaker, who lifts the curse. Of course, just as the curse is lifted, Lance discovers the cave and all its treasure.
The mapmaker, after being injured by Drake, had been helped by the man in white. He also placed a curse on Drake, so Drake will forever be a pitiful pirate (The Final Curse). After this was revealed in a short flashback, Drake is seen to still be working as a pawn shop owner. He is visited by Lance, who is now extremely rich and wants to pawn off Drake's hand.
In the last scenes of the movie, Flint is walking along the beach, where he gives his eyepatch to a man watching the sea. This is a repeat of how Flint and Kirk's friendship began. The man, also played by Kirby Heyborne, follows Flint onto a real ship. Flint takes Kirk's ashes from the cabinet in the hull of the ship and spreads them to the waves. At the same time, Kirk and his mother are in heaven, walking together. They come upon St. Peter. Mrs. Redgrave is led to the Pearly Gates, and Kirk is led to Pirate Heaven, which is to the left.

Tags: plot twist

Review:
Pirates on the Great Salt Lake like other great off beat comedies.
Pirates on the Great Salt Lake, what a novel idea.
The film was clever--an evil pawn broker, two pirates, a worried mother, a gypsy, a detective, and a girl seeking a bad boy.
The pirates are of course looking for buried treasure; their dialogue and comic relief was hilarious and they take you to the end of the journey effortlessly.
The pawn broker makes an excellent villain.
The cinematography was amazing, I never realized the Great Salt Lake was so beautiful, it is breathtaking.
The film has a good message and the soundtrack is very well done.
I would recommend this film to anyone that liked Office Space, Oh Brother Where Art Thou, or My Name is Earl (TV show)..
Great independent movie, a must see for film buffs..
This film recently won Festival Choice at the 2006 Phoenix Film Festival.
I was partially skeptical when I entered the theater, preparing to find the film demeaning to those who love pirates.
I was pleasantly surprised to be drawn into the movie and found myself caring for the success of the characters.E.R. Nelson should be commended for tackling a "water movie" as his first feature film and being successful with the story line.
Those of you familiar with the Great Salt Lake may find some of the scenes especially funny, including the natural aspects of the environment.If you ask why I gave this movie and 9 out of 10, the reason is at the end and I don't want to give away the ending.
This is hands down one of the craziest movies I have seen in a long time.
I totally didn't see this coming.The plot is too far out there to describe, but it's basically a modern version of the Don Quixote story...
though still very original.
though still very original.
The idea is masterful, and the timing seems perfect.
Well written (highly quotable!) and well paced, and the score is surprisingly epic for a low-budget indy.
I would say The Big Lebowski, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Napoleon Dynamite (it stars Trish!)...
and it's all so funny.If there is any justice in this world, this film will find distribution.
Two lovable pirates go in search of buried treasure..
This film is a must see!
I recently saw this film at the Newport Beach film festival and found it to be sweetly surprising.
The acting was great, especially Kirby Heyborne in the lead role, who is lovable, enthusiastic and endearing all in one.
Heyborne and Trenton James, who plays Flint Weaver, are a gem to see.
Their respective characters play well off one another, which adds a measured balance to the film.
Director E.R. Nelson must also be given kudos for his first feature film.
I also find it quite amazing, to say the least, that this "Napolean-esque" comedy was made in only three weeks time.
You can't tell by watching the film.To all of those who love to laugh, or just like to laugh, this film must be seen.
To any distributors out there, this one is a hit that will keep on giving!.
About as good as a pirate movie should be.
In short: This is a great indie flick, and if I said anything more I'd give it away, so watch it yourselves ye scurvy dogs!In long: It's really hard for me to believe that a movie this good took six months to make from idea to post-production, it was really great.
I loved the excellent characters and plot presented in the movie.
The story is honestly funny with very few cheap gags, and the actors go over the top in a way that makes them genuinely believable.
The film work was excellently done, and the locations that were chosen perfectly set the mood of the film.
The whole movie just embodies the classic pirate feeling that pirate fanatics have come to cherish; it has cursed treasure, romance, thrills, conflict, and plenty of laughs throughout.
I hate to compare it to something like Napoleon Dynamite, but there are definite similarities between the two, strictly in the sense that both are highly quotable and are destined to become cult classics.
Really though, if you like pirates, you'll love this movie..
A great movie experience!.
This movie lived up to all that I had heard about it.
I took many members of my extended family to a special screening in Salt Lake.
I did not tell any of them about the movie they would be screening in order to keep from influencing them with any hype.
The movie came as a wonderful surprise to them all.
I enjoyed hearing them laugh out loud throughout the whole movie.
We had the pleasure also of meeting one of the stars Trent James, who graciously answered many questions we threw at him.
I do hope a distribution deal will be struck soon so it will be released nationwide.
I have no doubts that it will be a sleeper hit.
You would have thought that Hollywood would have taken the hint from the success of Napoleon Dynamite as to the kinds of movies that American families are craving.
This movie will appeal to even a wider audience than N.D..
Okay, first off, I LOVE pirates, pirate movies, stories, books, shows, most anything pirate-related, such is why I rented this from Netflix.
This movie was entertaining about the first 20-30 minutes, then the story became drab and poorly put together.
There was little to no sense throughout the remainder of the film, and despite what has been written in many reviews above, you can tell this was filmed in three weeks, and the script seemed to be written in a lot less time than that.
Kirby Heyborne who I've never heard of or seen before, did an excellent job with his performance, even though he had little to work with, and was about the only good thing about this movie.
Trenton James gave a more than decent performance as well.
As for the rest of the cast, appeared more like friends and family, than actual talented or trained actors.
The description is that of "Two Teenagers," but yet neither of the main characters looks even close enough to play a Senior in college, so either the casting was bad, or the description should have been changed.
I have a feeling that the majority of the positive comments hailing this film as great, are from people associated with the film, and/or members of the "Free The Pirate" fan club.
The "Idea" is good, and I can get past the quality of filming with low-to-no budget films, when the quality of the story is prevalent, this, however, is not one of those cases.
As with any opinion on a movie or anything at all, it is just that, an opinion.
I still however support filmmakers who want to get their stuff out there, but as well, I support the honesty and criticism of people close to me, and would've hoped those close to the makers of this film, had told them to spend much more time during pre-production before diving in..
No. Entertaining and Original?
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, I wanted to see it again, and in the end that's what matters.
It is a typical low-budget indie film in that some of the acting was average at best but the two leads had a wonderful chemistry and played interesting characters.
I wanted to spend time with them and see what happens.
The director was good, and while definitely not perfect, you can tell he had a vision and was telling a story he wanted to tell.
There is an authenticity which was refreshing, despite the odd premise.
There are times it drags and feels like it's lost but no matter where you think it's headed, you'll be wrong.
At its heart it is amusing and there are parts where it's laugh-out-loud funny.
If you do NOT enjoy odd characters and quirky comedies, (a la "Lars And the Real Girl", "Napoleon Dynamite", maybe "A Mighty Wind") skip this one.
If you like character-driven, unique movie experiences, give it a try..
I saw this film when it premiered in LA.
I think I laughed 2 or three times.
The rest of the time I was in shock at how ridiculous/poorly shot and poorly written it was.
Kirby is in fact the only saving grace in the film.
I was disappointed at the performance of Larry Bagby , whom I usually find entertaining.
If you enjoy watching your friend's crappy homemade short films that they shot on their mom's 8mm video camera then there's a slight chance you might enjoy this film.
Then again part of what makes those movies enjoyable is that it's your buddies playing all the parts.
You don't know these people so you'll probably find it as dull and stupid as I did.
Dear Mr. Nelson, go back to film school, intern for a while as a PA or a grip or some low level job so you can see how things are properly done in film .
Then look for as long as you must to find a Director of Photography who knows what f.
Repeat as many times as needed..
Who thinks this is funny?.
I have to admit I only made it through the first 37 minutes of this movie before I realized it wasn't going to get any better.
I probably could have watched the next 49 minutes, but I couldn't think of even one reason why I'd want to see any more of it.
I don't like to review movies I haven't seen all the way through, but I felt a moral obligation to warn as many people as possible about this piece of junk.Please, do not watch this movie.
The whole thing is only 86 minutes long, but it felt like it would go on forever.
The script is terrible - I can't believe anyone even spent five minutes writing it.
I'm sure I've seen worse acting someplace, but I can't remember where.
The plot was horrible, and though it was supposed to be a comedy, I didn't laugh at anything because nothing was funny.
This is an independent film, but don't be fooled.
This is no Napoleon Dynamite.
That movie was actually funny.
Pirates of the Great Salt Lake should have been buried at sea before it was ever committed to film..
The longest 86 minutes of my life .........
Pretty lame excuse for a treasure hunt movie.
Childish nonsense gives way to total nonsense, in this supposed comedy.
The simple minded plot, or lack thereof, is two guys dressed as pirates cavorting all around the "Great Salt Lake".
The scenery is far more interesting than the story, and even that eventually wears thin.
Watching two nitwits play out their pirate fantasy for almost an hour and a half with nothing more than a couple of chuckles, is not my idea of entertainment.
Go back and watch "Dumb and Dumber" if you suddenly get the urge to see a great dumb buddy movie, and avoid "Pirates of the Great Salt Lake" entirely.
"Damn that Johnny Depp".
I'd hate to think that living near the Great Salt Lake can make one totally lose perspective, but apparently that's what has happened to Kirby Heyborne.
Heyborne who is an LDS version of Martin Short stars in Pirates Of The Great Salt Lake during which he damns Johnny Depp for making pirates lovable because he's not taken seriously.Heyborne and his new found friend Trenton James have decided to become pirates and their sea is the Great Salt Lake.
Of course this whole thing is most disturbing to his mother Joyce Cohen.
Still it's amazing how many even if they don't take him seriously kind of go with the flow.When an actual pirate map is discovered and take my use 'actual' with a grain of salt all kinds of things start happening.
We even delve into the supernatural.Pirates Of The Great Salt Lake is a film that tries hard to be in the tradition of Harvey and Arsenic And Old Lace.
It gets a little too weird for my taste, but Heyborne is a talented guy and if you look at some of his other work you'll come to that conclusion..
Napoleon Dynamite With Pirates.
I finally got the opportunity to rent this movie on Netflix.
I'd been wanting to see it for a while.
I'm a big Kirby Heyborne fan so this was on my list.
It felt like they were trying to go for Napoleon Dynamite with pirates.
Now, if you liked Napoleon Dynamite, this movie will be right up your alley.
I hated Napoleon Dynamite, so the stupidness just didn't do it for me.
There were a few clever lines scattered throughout the movie, but not enough to keep my interest going.
I actually fell asleep during a 7-minute stretch.
Kirby Heyborne does do a great job as Kirk and so does Trenton James as Flint.
However, Larry Bagby's stuffed-up-nose portrayal of the pawn shop guy was just irritating.If you're looking for something Napoleon Dynamiteesque, this is your movie.
This Film is a true Pirate's Treasure!.
On Sunday Feb 5th I flew down to SanFrancisco to attend the San Francisco Independent Film Festival and the second showing of Pirates of The Great Salt Lake.
I arrived at the theater an hour early in order to meet up with ER Nelson, the director of the film, Kirby Heybourne (who plays Kirk) the star of the film and several of the producers.I was told by the SF Indie film fest organizers that the much awaited Friday night World Premiere of PotGSL received a standing ovation from a sold out crowd.
I was getting so excited to see it, and hoping I wouldn't let down.
Independent films are a tricky business, often it is the director's first film ( as in this case) , often the actors are less experienced "unknowns", and in almost all cases the production budget puts extreme limitations on everything.
Despite these factors or because of them , Pirates of the Great Salt Lake is like finding that elusive buried treasure.
This film is a real gem!
It is original and refreshing, and dare I say....
OK, so I hate the comment "it's a Feel Good movie".
just not the kind of comment Pirates should make.
I smiled all the way through the screening Dammit!
I hope I wasn't being watched or there goes my Pirate rep..
A very well thought out script ,co-written by Eric Nelson who also skillfully directs, and solid comedic performances by the principle actors had me laughing out loud within the first few seconds.
It has everything that a good Pirate film should, Pirates (duh), ships (er, boats) , the plank, weapons, maps and cursed treasure, ghosts, skirmishes, thievery, back stabbing, murder, wenches ( and not all in that order) It's campy, it's tongue in cheek, it pokes fun at the current pirate culture, and stereotypes.
It even pays backhanded homage to Johnny Depp.
And I loved this film for it.
The music perfectly underscores that our two heroes are living their Grand Pirate Dream.
they are truly Pirates!
Like when Kirk and Flint meet for the first timeSpread the word and keep a weather eye open for this Treasure, and keep our cutlasses crossed that this film gets picked up and distributed.
It deserves it and we all NEED it!Synopsis: Kirk Redgrave and Flint Weaver are two young, 20- something loners in Utah who live near the Great Salt "Sea".
Each with their own issues, they meet through chance and set out together to become the best Pirates the world has ever seen.
As in real life, Piracy is a tough go for our heroes, filled with much failure and disappointment, it is a hard life ( well, three weeks anyway) and then they come across a long lost treasure map.
They must battle a ruthless rival and contend a curse in order to collect the treasure and fulfill their dream.
good stuff, lots of fun.
PotGSL is a wonderful and creative comedic adventure on the low sea that rests on the outskirts of suburbia.
Many of the reviews that I read before seeing the film compared it with Napolean Dynamite and thus similarly praised or criticized both.
I recently saw it at the Indianapolis International Film Festival and I have to admit that the humor is comparable, but PotGSL extends the identity crises of the characters beyond the high school world of Napolean.
In early adulthood, many of us find ourselves with jobs that don't give our lives meaning.
Sometimes we can even feel like we've lost ourselves to the conventional measures of success.
Upon realizing that we are called to a different way of life (like to fulfill childhood dreams of becoming a pirate or a princess), we still might have to deal with how we are perceived if we choose to follow our dreams.
But wouldn't it be great if we stumbled on to a treasure map to get us there?
The pirate journey in PotGSL is not just about finding a buried treasure, but living life in spite of the mistakes of the past, whether they involve imposed curses or unfinished responsibilities.
As a viewer, I was less interested in figuring out what would happen next in the movie than keeping up with the journey of the characters as they learned more about themselves and recognized the impact of the past on their future.
Rather than merely living up to some conventional standards indifferent to our individual passions in life, PotGSL seems to be more about becoming the kind of people we want to be in the face of socially acceptable ways to live.
And it advocates this with a great deal of humor.
I loved this movie, and I hope that you will, too.