You May Not Kiss the Bride

Plot synopsis:
The unassuming pet photographer, Bryan Lighthouse (Dave Annable) is thrown into a serious action and romance adventure when he's forced to marry Masha Nikitin (Katharine McPhee) to pay a debt to her criminal parents against his will. Masha's father Vlatko (aka Vadik) (Ken Davitian) marries her to Bryan to get her a green card, under the condition that Bryan cannot touch her. Off to spend their honeymoon at a remote tropical resort somewhere in Tahiti, Masha's boyfriend Brick (Vinnie Jones), who is in love with her (although she does not return the feeling), follows them.
After Masha catches Bryan dancing with a hotel waitress, she storms off, as it is hinted she hates womanizers. Feeling bad, the waitress Lani (Tia Carrere) suggests Bryan take Masha on a romantic outing, to a secret beach encased by a tropical rainforest to make it up to her. While teasing Bryan at the secret cove, Masha flees into the rainforest and is kidnapped.
Bryan searches for Masha back at the hotel, unaware she has been kidnapped. He then finds that his psychotic assistant, Tonya (Mena Suvari), who is in love with him, has tracked him down to the resort. Tonya has brought condoms and tries to have sex with him. After Bryan informs her that he does not want to have sex with her, Tonya agrees to help find Masha, but tells him that she will one day force him to have sex with her, after trying to have sex with him one more time.
After receiving a call from Masha's kidnappers demanding a ransom, Bryan asks Lani for help. While Bryan, Lani, and Tonya are making plans, Brick storms in and Lani and Tonya escape off the balcony, leaving Bryan to face Brick's wrath. When Brick finds a condom Tonya had brought on the unmade, wrecked bed, he assumes that Bryan had attempted to take Masha's virginity and hits him. Bryan barely escapes, while Brick calls Masha's father back in the USA and informs him of Masha's kidnapping, making it sound as if Bryan had been the kidnapper. Meanwhile, the kidnappers turn out to be two American INS agents Agent Meyers (Howard Bishop) and Agent Ross (Kevin Dunn).
Afterwards Brick tells Masha's father Vlatko about the condom and Bryan's supposed attempt to have sex with Masha, Vlatko becomes enraged and prepares to fly to the island. Lani calls her cousin, Ernesto (Rob Schneider) to help find Masha with his helicopter. A chase scene occurs between Brick and the four heroes (Bryan, Lani, Tonya, and Ernesto) and ends with the group making a hasty escape in Ernesto's helicopter, only to later crash-land by a fishing village. Deciding to rest on a beach at the edge of the village, Ernesto and Tonya kiss passionately, unconcerned of Masha's dire condition, and Lani and Bryan storm off in anger. Alone, Ernesto and Tonya almost have sex in a boat in the grass, but Brick soon shows up and knocks them out, revealing that Brick is in on the kidnapping. Separated, Lani and Bryan obliviously go in separate directions. Masha escapes her prison in a surfboard shack and finds Bryan, who is crazily driving a jeep stolen from Brick after he tried to kill Bryan. Bryan and Masha crash the jeep, which erupts into flames, and make an escape on foot.
Finding a canoe on a river, they outrun the three culprits and find a friendly welcoming old-time village. After eating a huge dinner and dancing and having fun, Masha and Bryan have sex for the first time. The next morning, they awake to a cheering village. However, during breakfast the two agents and Brick find the village. Brick and the lovers battle on a steep ocean cliff. Just as Brick is ready to kill Bryan, Lani and Ernesto show up in the helicopter, catching Brick off guard. Masha, using the distraction, grabs Brick's gun and shoots him in the back: he falls off the cliff, taking Bryan with him. Masha is in shock, terrified with the thought that she killed Bryan too. Bryan appears in the waves, unharmed, and they are reunited with Masha's family.
Vlatko gives Bryan his blessing to marry Masha for real, but he declines despite his feelings for her.
Masha, heartbroken, continues her old life taking dance lessons. One day, unable to concentrate on the dance routine she was practicing, Marsha leaves the dance studio to find Bryan outside ready to propose to her as he changed his mind. As the crowd around them applauds, the film ends with the camera panning away from the couple as they kiss.

Tags: romantic

Review:
Obviously those who make such movies feel the movie viewing public must want their romantic comedies made like this.
Nothing makes sense here, the acting is terrible but the script is so poor and filled with so many things we've seen before that most of us could write a better story without much effort..
I was randomly searching movies in comedy genre when a found this one ...
but as the movie progressed i fell in love with the characters ...
i found it much better than movies which uses vulgar words or situations to bring out the humor ...Don't think too much about the research work , the plot and the reasoning ...
According to me a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, and this movie does.
You can say it's not deep and it may have some flaws, some mislead facts and stuff but people, do you watch a comedy to learn about history?
NO, you watch it for entertainment and this movie is hilarious on many occasions.
To all those who rated this movie with a 4 or 5...think about the purpose of the movie, if you want a deep,meaningful movie then this isn't for you but if you just want to sit back and have a laugh then don't hesitate.
Very decent comedy and quite different from the cliché Hollywood romantic movies.
Review: This movie is more silly that funny.
I found the leading character pretty annoying, and Vinnie Jones is playing his usual cockney hard nut, but if you don't take the movie seriously then it's just harmless fun.
The storyline is really unbelievable, and the ending was pretty corny, but that's what you expect from a Rom-Com nowadays.
I was surprised to see Kathy Burke in such a weak movie, but she didn't play a major role.
As I hadn't really heard of this movie before, I didn't have high expectations so I wasn't massively disappointed.
Average!Round-Up: If this film had a leading character that wasn't so dumb, then it might have been half decent, but he just got on my nerves after a while.
It was a waste of a good cast, except for the leading character, but you can tell that there wasn't a big budget so it shouldn't have been a massive lose.Budget: $6million Worldwide Gross: N/AI recommend this movie to people who are into there silly Rom-Com's about an arranged marriage that goes totally wrong.
I actually enjoyed this romantic comedy.
The movie had all that you could want, more or less, in a movie; comedy, laughs, action, gun fights, car chases, and great scenery.The story in "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is about Bryan Lighthouse (played by Dave Annable) who works as a pet photographer, who lives a fairly unromantic life.
One day, while on the job, Bryan's assistant Tonya (played by Mena Suvari) cause an accident involving a client's cat.
The owner of the cat is the wife of a Croatian mobster (played by Ken Davitian), and he forces Bryan into marrying his daughter, Masha, (played by Katharina McPhee) so she can become an American citizen.
But the mobster's minion (played by Vinnie Jones) is in love with Masha and doesn't approve of this marriage.
The 'happily married' couple embarks on a fake honeymoon to a tropical resort where things get out of hand.I found the story to be rather enjoyable and fun.
And the story was really helped along by the cast of great actors and actresses they had brought in.
Especially Dave Annable was doing a tremendous job in this movie.
But also Rob Schneider (playing Ernesto) and Tia Carrere (playing Lani) was doing good jobs as well.
The story is fun to watch, and it has just the right amount of romance and comedy to it.The characters in the movie were well-played and had good depths and personalities.
Each were given good time to shine on the screen, and no one really came off as drones or generic characters.I loved the idea they had come up with when one the kidnappers got that laminating resin thrown on his and the bucket was removed from his face.
It was just brilliant.If you enjoy romantic comedies, then you should check out "You May Not Kiss the Bride".
It has a great love story, it is filmed in really beautiful locations, and it is great fun to watch.
This is just one of the movies where everything go bad from the start.
It seems that sponsorship of one tropical island and shooting on their locations are only purpose of making this movie.
"Croatian bride Masha Nikitin", with surname that don't exist in Croatia (i have searched) and name is so rare.
Maybe because father of bride looks and talks like Croatian guy?
No, look at American winning documentary Wow Croatia, where is mentioned that around noon in working time coffee shops are full of people drinking what?
That said, I watched the whole thing...So basically it is watchable: even cute at moments, incredibly dumb at othersA high point is the island...
I know I can write at this level for sure!Keep your expectations low, and you won't be disappointed Actually, if you watch it with your boyfriend, he will probably enjoy it if he likes action scenes and crude humor (just a few things, but for me they detracted from the already flimsy story in my opinion).
This is a pleasant and slightly predictable comedy filmed in Hawaii.
A marriage arranged for a green card for a Mob Boss's daughter turns into true love on a honeymoon on a resort island.
It is obviously not a huge budget rom-com but it is still worth watching.There are some winning performances.
Rob Schneider was a bit under used considering he is the biggest comic star in the movie.
A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat.
Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti.
Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha.
Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.The film has lots of flaws.
Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him.
Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film.
Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie.
I am glad to see they are still making decent movies in this genre (Romantic Comedy Blended with Action/Adventure).
(I came in at the wedding.) I'd never heard of this movie or the two lead actors, and I expected it to be pretty bad.
It wouldn't (and didn't) win any Oscars, but it was far from a waste of two hours.ACTING I had never heard of their names, but I quickly recognized the lead actress and actor from their TV work.
They both did well as movie leads.
I was surprised to see the two of them backed up by bigger names like Tia Carrere and Rob Schneider, along with Mena Suvari and Vinnie Jones.
I like Rob Schneider, but I usually don't like his movies.
We got just the right amount of Rob Schneider in this one.OTHER This was not a low-budget movie.
It was filmed in a gorgeous Tahitian setting, and the cinematography, chase sequences, and helicopter effects were outstanding.FOR PARENTS There is nothing in this movie that should keep most parents from letting their kids see it.
This movie doesn't have anything with a Croatia!.
Our music isn't like in the movie!!!!!
This film is just those films that has everything in it -- like Comedy, Romance, Action and adventure.
The acting is also good, I am a big fan of American Idol and Smash so I know that Katharene McPhee will be just great on this Romantic/Comedy film.
Watched him on 666 Park Ave and I've never thought his acting would be that convincing for his character on this film.
Just give it a try, if you're a fan of romantic/comedy films, Im sure you'll love this too..
You May Not Kiss The Bride is one of the best rom-coms of the year.
This film tells the story of a pet photographer who is forced into a marriage with the daughter of a criminal mastermind, so that she can get a green card to stay in the USA.The film starts off with a very bad sequence of a cat and a dog creating havoc.
The story takes us to the really beautiful Tahiti, where every natural scenery is better than postcards.
The story is very predictable, Rob Schneider's character is annoying and the rather raunchy girlfriend wannabe is unbelievable, but "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is still a very entertaining film to watch..
I found this movie to be enjoyable while disregarding the silliness of the story.
The beautiful scenery along with an attractive cast was a pleasant distraction that kept me entertained through the end of the film.Many of the plot twists are not unlike an episode of Gilligan's Island, if you need believability you're probably not going to watch this film or Gilligan.
It's actually a pretty nice comedy, with good cast, beautiful scenery and solid script, with couple of good twists.
Being Croatian myself, really can't see the reason to get overexcited about the fact that some people in Hollywood don't know geography, they have been known to make far greater mistakes in respect to other nations!
So( to my fellow countrymen especially ) I don't think it's a good enough reason to trash a pretty good comedy!.
who seems be result of improvisation because the script is reduced at a simple idea , present in many romantic films of the last decade.
short, one of films who are the best option to waste the time.
I do like the story, but I absolutely dislike the misperceived origins from Croatia.
This movie is about an American photographer Bryan (who wanted to travel the world and take photographs of all the wonders he encounters along the way but he got stuck with taking photographs of pets in weird costumes) and a Croatian woman Masha (she wants to have her own dance studio) who are forced to get married so she can stay in the USA.
The reason why he is forced to marry this girl he had never met, is because he had an incident with the cat (he was supposed to take photographs of her) which belonged to her mother.
Her father is a mafia boss so he took that incident as a basis of making him marry his daughter but only on paper.
Her father plans on marrying her for his best man when she gets a permit to stay in the USA and everything settles down.
There she gets kidnapped and you would never believe who the kidnappers are (I will not tell you because it's one of the best parts of the movie).
The end of the movie is expected, it is a happy end but I will not spoil the surprise how it got that way.
Maybe the best character in the movie is Ernesto, the guy who drives them around in a tropical resort and helps them along the way.
He has the best jokes and the best unexpected (funny) behavior.Now for the thing I hated most and was absolutely DISAPPOINTED with is the so-called Croatian origins.
The names (Masha, Vadik, Borislava...) and the accent they have and the wedding customs are all Russian, not Croatian in the slightest.
They needed a few minute research on the internet to pick some Croatian names, one of our songs for the wedding and one wedding custom to use.
Typical Russian mafia accent used on the movies, Croatians are very adaptable and have a very easy ability to learn and pronounce other languages.
If they wanted to use our country as the base of the story they should have learn about it and do at least one thing right.
For me, that ruined the whole movie, the interesting story and quite a few very funny moments..
You May Not Kiss the Bride – TRASH IT (C-) YOU MAY NOT KISS THE BRIDE is a charming tale of adventurous high jinx and budding romance involving an unassuming pet photographer (Annable) who is thrown head first into a series of unforeseeable events when he's forced to marry a Croatian mobster's daughter (McPhee) and spend his honeymoon at a secluded Tahitian resort where the bride is kidnapped.
Everything is wrong in this movie from the beginning, you have serious actor Dave Annabel playing a rom-com lover then you've an American Katherine McPhee playing a Croatian girl.
Dave Annabel & Katherine McPhee try to do their best but they're mismatch and miscast in the movie.
Even still Rob Schneider, Kathy bates, Tia Carrer & Mena Suvari try to bring some comic relive in the movie.
On the whole, it's a time pass but very tedious predictable movie, better not waste your time and brains on it..
Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe.
Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe.
waste of money.Writer of this movie script thinks that people in US are not educated and they don't know anything about geography and Europe.
Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.Nothing new, boring, not funny.
Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.Nothing new, boring, not funny.
Movie is cheap, unintelligent, and writer is too.Nothing new, boring, not funny.
I am a fan of silly comedy action movies, think of true lies as an example and this had the story to be one but alas it ran out of money while filming the last half first leaving the beginning without a budget or script, The introduction was truly awful with a poorly written script and terrible acting, the lead actor was OK but just not powerful enough to carry the scenes and did not have any comedic ability, I was about to turn it off but I wanted to write a review on this one so i persevered.
Once the cast arrived in Tahiti and Rob Schneider appeared and the lead woman had some real acting to do the movie came to life and the plot came together.
Katharine McPhee is a stunningly beautiful actress and was really believable in her part and she and the supporting cast along with Rob pulled the movie along quite nicely, Vinnie Jones is type cast as a hard nut job wanting to kill everyone but he can only overact these days through gritted teeth.
Overall with better scripting and maybe a better lead actor the movie could have provided a base for a true classic but the B movie hall of fame is full of almost classics, if it was ever intended to be a comedy it missed the mark by a mile, but the last 45 minutes had me entertained, Rob Schneider should have been let loose far more in this and he could have carried it along better..
I only managed to watch 6 minutes and 23 seconds but when they are labouring a joke about a guy playing with a dog's balls, I couldn't take any more.
Through some poorly scripted circumstances Brian finds himself in a position where he must marry Masha (Katharine McPhee) the daughter of a crime boss (Ken Davitian) in order for her to obtain her green card.
The poorly conceived plot drags along and then at about 45 minutes into the film, we get the twist and the movie becomes a watchable comedy, formula and all.
There's a reason guy should not write a romantic comedy, because he will turn it into an action movie.
I think it's fair to say guys are into bad jokes, hot girls, gun shoots and actions, which is what this movie is about...
A mixed of everything guys like into a romantic movie, resulting in a complete cracker of a comedy.
Well I think it's hard to call this a rom com because it seems that the main focus of the movie is about the action and jokes instead of the romance between the main characters.
Conclusion: it makes a good passing time movie for a lazy Sunday afternoon, suitable for men who are being forced by their significant other to watch a rom com without suffering too much pain.
This movie is very predictable and is so from early on.
Croatian mafia boss (more on that later) gives man choice to die or marry daughter (who speaks perfect English) to get her a green card.
The End.Now to the Croatian aspect of the movie.
As a Croatian, I didn't have a problem with a mafia boss being from Croatia as their are bad people in all countries but at least the filmmakers could have made a real effort.
The names were all wrong, the accents were all wrong, the music was all wrong, Croatians don't make borscht and the coffee is actually very good.
Half of Europe could tell you the above.If you think of calling your mom first after a legitimate death threat is something you would do and she would suggest you get married because she wants grandchildren would be her answer, then this is the movie for you.