Keith Lemon: The Film

Plot synopsis:
Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis) is an aspiring business entrepreneur from Leeds, who is trying to secure investment for his invention, the Securipole (a metal pole put in the driveway to prevent car theft). He travels to London to present the Securipole at an inventor's convention, putting his friend Dougie (Kevin Bishop) in charge of his business while he is away. Keith's girlfriend Rosie (Laura Aikman) advises that he should start the Securipole business slowly and try to sell some poles in Leeds first, but Keith is too eager for the Securipole to be an overnight success and ignores her.
At the convention, Keith's demonstration of the Securipole fails to attract investors and leaves the public underwhelmed. Keith is devastated by his failure, but is approached by another entrepreneur named Kushvinder (Harish Patel), who offers to give him rights to his own unsuccessful invention, a touch-screen mobile phone without buttons, which Keith reluctantly accepts. In Leeds, a shipment of one million Securipoles arrives at Keith's office, to Rosie and Dougie's dismay. Before going to London, Keith had ordered the Securipoles (his dyscalculia leading him to believe that he had only ordered one thousand), from a benefactor named Evil Steve (Leigh Francis), who is notorious for torturing and even killing clients who fail to pay him. Rosie and Dougie are unable to pay for the poles or contact Keith, so Evil Steve kidnaps Rosie. Before she is taken away, she orders Dougie to travel to London and find Keith.
After Keith is attacked by a group of muggers, a talking satellite navigation app on Kushvinder's phone leads him to the office of Archimedes (Verne Troyer), an advice guru who tries to solve the problems of those in need. Archimedes hears out Keith's plight and manages to get him an appearance on a television chat show hosted by David Hasselhoff (playing an exaggerated version of himself). On the show, Keith tries to promote Kushvinder's phone, but the audience is uninterested. Thinking quickly, he sticks a lemon-shaped sweet on the phone, making it look like it has a lemon on the cover, which immediately impresses the audience. The "Lemon Phone" becomes an overnight success, and Keith is instantly propelled into the life he has always wanted. He becomes a household name, earns billions of pounds from the Lemon Phone, and starts dating Kelly Brook (playing an exaggerated version of herself) who, unbeknownst to Keith, is only dating him so she can divorce him and take his money later. Despite Archimedes' advice however, Keith prefers his new celebrity lifestyle and decides not to return to Leeds, the Securipole business or Rosie.
Keith hosts a toga party at a luxury venue, but during the party he is confronted by Dougie, who tells him Evil Steve has kidnapped Rosie and is going to kill her unless he pays for the Securipoles. Refusing to listen and no longer caring about what he left behind in Leeds, Keith dismisses Dougie and throws him out. This angers Archimedes, who also leaves. Going back to Leeds, Dougie decides to rescue Rosie himself, dressing up as Rambo and storming into Evil Steve's warehouse lair, but his plan fails when he accidentally knocks himself out on a metal bar. Back at the party, as Keith and Kelly take to the stage to sing together, the Lemon Phone is suddenly revealed to have a major technical fault that causes the owner's mouth to sag, giving them a speech impediment. The mouths of everyone who was using the phone immediately sag, including those of Kelly and some of Keith's celebrity friends. Outraged, the crowd at the party turn on Keith and chase him on to the roof of the building. Realising the error of his ways, Keith finds Archimedes and begs for forgiveness, but Kelly and the angry mob force him over the balcony. As he falls to the ground, he is saved by Archimedes, who reveals that he is a guardian angel, and explains that he put Keith through this experience to teach him not to ignore his friends and loved ones in the pursuit of success.
Archimedes flies Keith back to Leeds, dropping him over Evil Steve's lair and proceeding to Heaven. Keith falls through the roof, causing rubble to fall on top of Evil Steve, and rescues Rosie from being lowered into a vat of liquid hot metal. He apologises to his friends for ignoring them, and proposes to Rosie. At first, Rosie is angered by Keith's actions and refuses to forgive him (especially when Keith off-handedly confesses that Kelly Brook was the superior girlfriend), but she soon accepts both his apology and proposal, and with their relationship repaired, Keith, Rosie and Dougie leave the warehouse. During the end credits, Keith explains through a voice-over that he settled down and had a family with Rosie, and converted the Securipoles into water pumps for countries in the "Fourth World".

Tags: comedy

Review:
We walked out after an hour.We are both big fans of Celebrity Juice and were amazed at how bad this was.Don't waste your money on it.Came away feeling like we had been mugged!IMDb says I need to write 10 lines but I really have nothing more to say about this appalling film.
The "jokes", if you can even call them that, were immature and not even slightly clever, just some of the phrases Keith Lemon uses on Celebrity Juice thrown in randomly.My girlfriend and I spent most of the film discussing who would be the one to shoot the other one in the face, before blowing their own brains out.
I think a couple of lucky people actually left during the film.I just hope that I can watch Celebrity Juice again without horrifying flashbacks that will have me rocking back and forth in a pool of my own sick..
Every now and again you get a 0% score on rotten tomatoes but even then it's rare for everyone to actively hate a film in the way that people have hated this one.Like a lot of people on here, I am a massive fan of Celebrity Juice and I just couldn't imagine that it could be that awful.
Not even a 12 year old who might well laugh at some of the more puerile stuff could possibly give it 10 stars.Clicking on smr1-466-127649's profile we see that he has reviewed 2 films, both in the last 2 days, both hilarious revisions of two of the worst movies in the last 5 years.
(Fans of In Bruges will find this very funny.)More worryingly, he seems to demonstrate the kind of misogyny that his character Keith Lemon uses (presumably ironically) with his friends Wiloughby and Cotton on normal members of the viewing public - calling one girl who doesn't like him a "horse".
I'm a big fan of Keith Lemon and went to watch this film with an open mind but could not believe how shocking everything was.The acting was cringe worthy throughout, storyline was even worst, it was like a cheap version of Austin powers with a script an 8 year old had put together at school.We was going to leave cinema 20 minutes into the movie but thought things "might" improve, but unfortunately we were very wrong, the outtakes at the end of movie were better than the actual movie.Be warned!!!!!!.
Keith Lemon The Movie, is the worst piece of "celluloid" I have witnessed.As others have said, Celebrity Juice - Brilliant, but this film could actually lose Leigh Francis fans.
I went into this film with high hopes, and left with the thought in my disappointed mind that I'd never get that hour and a half back.I'm a big fan of Leigh Francis (Keith Lemon) in everything else he does, for example 'Celebrity Juice' and 'Lemon La Vida Loca' so I was extremely surprised at how poor this feature actually was.The plot was simply awful making little to no sense, and I usually find myself when watching 'Celebrity Juice' in an absolute trance of laughter but I must say I only slightly giggled maybe five times tops throughout this film.
It's almost as if this film was made just for the sake of it, with the thought in Francis' mind that Lemon is so popular and successful he may as well try and get a feature film out of it while it lasts, that's exactly what it felt like for me.As much as I love Keith Lemon, I think that this film was just a step too far.
For a movie it appears insultingly cheap from set, prop to cast.And to show how desperate this movie is, they have a PR agency giving it a 'wonderful' review under the account 'thefleece2' It really is a sign of desperation or of bad ego to have your own team to self-review and exaggerate the quality of your own product.What I don't understand is how money gets wasted on projects like this.This is a strong contender for worst British film for this year and perhaps one of the worst of the year entirely..
Keith Lemon: The Film - Thoroughly disappointing.From the opening scenes this "film" lacked comedy and creativity and just when it looked like it would get better it went on to nose dive even further.
The storyline lacked originality and wasn't really in keeping with Lemon's character, and the heavy splashing of celebrities wasn't used to its' full potential.We expected constant laughs, but comedy content was light and generally a repeat of what you see on the telly.
If you like Keith Lemon on the TV your time would be better spent watching Celebrity Juice re-runs on You Tube..
I had low expectations going into this film, yet I was hoping to be surprised as I usually enjoy watching celebrity juice and I know Leigh Francis can be funny.
So the studios must have thought, "what should we do with a massive character on British Telly, I know, have him make a film that every one would empty their wallets to see on the big screen and we'll earn the box office a ton of money".
They were just famous people from British TV, who were either friends with Leigh, or put there, again, to attract more people to see it, and all the people who were actors in this film, (Kelly Brook, David Hasslehoff, Verne Troyer, Laura Aikman) either had a bad day at the office or they simply are not good enough actors to get roles in decent films, so they chose a poorly written, money grabbing film!
Now we move onto the story, a predictable mess of unsatisfactory comedy, that at times I found myself wishing that certain scenes were cut from the movie, these were mainly scenes where we are meant to feel emotional for Keith, but no, I did not give a single care for this character, or any of the others for that matter.
This film to me is a prime example of studios dumbing down films just to make money, and they don't need to because audiences are a lot more clever than they think, and instead of having a clever blockbuster to end the summer season, we get this atrocious mess of a film that has no pay off, no likable characters, awful soundtrack, bad actors, a terrible script, and a predictable story, 85 minutes was too long, please god may there not be a sequel.
He was trying much too hard to build on his already beloved character and just made himself look really quite silly.The only thing I'm pleased about with this film is that my local cinema only charges £2.50 a ticket, so it's not as if I had to break the bank to waste an hour and a half of my life...
Having watched and enjoyed a few episodes of Celebrity Juice and Lemon La Vida Loca, A group of friends and I decided to go to our local cinema and watch 'Keith Lemon: The Film'.
Ever since celebrity juice first started, I thought Keith lemon was funny and looked forward to watching his movie when it was announced.
The writer did not actually attempt to put the film together, rather it was a rabble of cheap gags glued together with celebrities who did not look like they wanted to be there.
I had high hopes for this film but I am extremely disappointed and my opinion of Keith lemon has got me wondering whether I want to watch him when he returns to it2 for his new show.
Bottom line is, there are no laughs, no memorable lines, no interesting scenes but low-brow humour and self-indulgence with a disjointed storyline.I left the cinema wondering how many months training that a monkey would need to write a better script and you will too, if you decide to waste your hard earned money on this 85 minutes of sheer drivel..
I love Celebrity Juice and I love Keith Lemon so I actually chose to see this film over Ted. It was pretty much a recycle of every joke and special appearance made on the show but it being scripted made it lose the hilarity- you know none of the reactions or comebacks are natural.
I referred to "Keith Lemon" specifically as it is the Leigh Francis character that I DO LIKE.
The funniest thing about this movie has to be its trailer, which took all the best lines and scenes from the film, changed their order and context, and portrayed a very different movie to the one you end up watching.The two main problems that I found with this movie is that for one thing, Leigh Francis's character of Keith Lemon is fundamentally unlikeable, and secondly, the entire cornerstone for any humour in it is based on catchphrases and jokes that any fan will already have heard a hundred times before.During one of the many times that my mind wandered away, I wondered what the point of the film was.
Was it meant to springboard the character to an international audience (hence the need to shoehorn in every catchphrase and joke ever uttered on Celebrity Juice to regions that might not have seen or heard them before), or was it a nod to existing fans (seeing as the whole film seemed to be done on a shoestring budget and couldn't possibly be considered a serious international contender).And I still have no idea what the answer is, and therefore have no idea why this film exists at all.The Keith Lemon character has been over-exposed on UK television for some time now, and I'm of the opinion that Leigh Francis is well aware of this fact himself, and decided to wring every last penny out of it rather than to come up with a new character or new material.Seeing this film has only served to put me off Keith Lemon, to the point where the new series of Celebrity Juice (due to begin today) has gone from being a viewing highlight that I was looking forward to, to a case of "I'll give it one chance and if it gets on my nerves like the film did I'll stop watching entirely".There's no need for a spoiler warning in this review because there's no film to spoil.
Its plot possessed a distinct relation to its audience and their lifestyle, refreshing memories of drunken unities on economical holidays abroad with your chums.A year on and next in line to attempt the leap of uncertainty is Leigh Francis, with his ultra-successful character Keith Lemon, that of ITV2's Celebrity Juice.
Short cameos from a number of celebrity faces can be recognised from their attendance on Lemon's TV collection but apart from those bothersome Irish twins, Jedward, the list of others seem too embarrassed to be associated with the movies existence.Celebrity Juice will continue to flourish over the coming years, but once the programme adds itself to the endless list of witty slapstick TV schedule gap fillers, many would doubt Leigh Francis to create another lasting alternative to his current character.
Cannot even begin to describe the awfulness of the acting, the so called 'jokes' and if I had to endure one more close up of Keith Lemon's orange face I might have tried to find some cyanide in a hurry.All in all, please don't waste your money going to see this poor excuse for a film.Instead I would advise you get some popcorn and read all the reviews of this film on here, they made me laugh way more!.
As a fan of Celebrity Juice, I was excited to see Keith Lemon film, that feeling faded after an hour of watching the film, although his usual sexual comedy is still part of the film there isn't enough to fuel the laughs of the audience.
There were a few scenes that were funny but they soon faded into boredom, there was no real storyline to the film and it was pretty predictable.Fans of Keith Lemon's Celebrity Juice will be disappointed with the attempt, as the usual comedy is all wrong.
As much as I would recommend Keith Lemon's Celebrity Juice still exists I would not recommend his poor attempt to break into the film industry....
I love Celebrity Juice and also Lemon Da Vida Loca was quite good, so I really did have high expectation about this film.
I really enjoyed Bo Selecta (even though it clearly wasn't for everyone) and I also like Celebrity Juice - I'm not a die hard fan and haven't seen every single episode, but if it's on then I will watch it.
I have no problem with crude humour, but geez if you're going to go down this road at least make it either funny or original (or preferably both), but Francis seemingly decides to do neither.I'll admit that I was a little bit concerned when we're quickly introduced by his Craig David character from Bo Selecta in a somewhat pointless cameo - it was funny 10 years ago, but it's kind of lost its appeal now.
We also have the same joke repeated regarding the Gary Barlow, Ronan Keating & Simon Pegg confusion - it might have worked a bit better if Simon Pegg would have appeared in the film, but I'm assuming that he had the common sense to steer clear of this mess.Even when Francis plays his 'trump' suit - ie vulgar humour he still manages to get this wrong - there was nothing original, nothing that was funny - pretty much all the gags fell flat.It didn't help that the story made no sense and was completely ridiculous (yes it's a Keith Lemon film so I didn't expect it to be entirely coherent), but come on.
I know this got bad reviews but I thought it was a great laugh and a good time it has celebrity appearances critics need to learn to have fun with silly and enjoyable films.
I never felt so dirty in my life watching the movie it is that Bad of a film and I feel sorry for the people who paid to see this mess of a film.Keith Lemon the film is truly the worse movie I've ever seen in my life..
Now, I'm reliably informed that Keith Lemon (or the guy who plays him - whose name I don't actually know) does other - very popular - shows like Bo Selecta and Celebrity Juice.
Popularly viewed as one of the best British films ever made, the multi- generational comedy Keith Lemon The Movie is a touchstone of cinema: one of the most widely imitated, quoted, and lampooned movies of all time.
I'm a little annoyed by the prissy, stuck up reviews because at the end of the day if you are deliberately going to watch a film with the words "Keith" and "Lemon" in the title, you have to set your expectations accordingly.
Mind you, what do you expect from Leigh Francis?+ His portray of Keith Lemon is sensational, it's such a funny film...
I don't see why everyone says this is the worst film of the whole of 2012,when I went to see it, and now when I watch it on DVD, I always enjoy watching every minute of the whole film, I am a huge fan of Keith lemon and I am always loving watching celebrity juice every single week when its on,when I first went to go and see the film, I had high hopes for it because I always watch celebrity juice and it would be hard to make the film funny as well, but they did it.
I originally did not watch Keith Lemon The Film because of all the bad reviews it has on IMDb. I figured that since they were all bad there must be something to it.
I like Keith Lemon but this movie is just a load of crap!.
Note to Keith Lemon don't make another movie just stick to Celebrity Juice and Through The Key Hole.
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!When I first heard that Keith Lemon was getting his own film, I was quite excited.
Leigh Francis' character Keith Lemon is somewhat of a guilty pleasure, and the excitement for his film was born from my love for ITV2's show Celebrity Juice, which although isn't the most intelligent show on television, it is crudely funny, and I guess something a teenager like myself is supposed to enjoy.
But this wasn't enough to save the film by any stretch of the imagination.Overall, Keith Lemon: The Film was a huge disappointment, they took away the reality and shock from Lemon, the one thing that made him funny, and made Francis act, to a script that must take longer to read than it did to write, which left the character looking awkward and unfunny, and ultimately set the film up to fail.
Before wasting your money on this, perhaps consider other films that are out, especially if you want to be entertained, unless a partially naked Kelly Brook is all you want to see.http://hullfilmreview.webs.com/keith-lemon-the-film.
and Celebrity Juice, but I was put off when I read many negative reviews, saying it was one of the worst films ever made, I eventually decided to watch and see whether I would agree.
About a year ago I remember hearing Keith Lemon say that he was making a movie, at first I thought it was a joke but to see that he's actually gone through with it comes as a bit of a surprise.
Your overall enjoyment comes down to one thing with this movie, whether you like Keith Lemon or not and personally I'm a big fan.
There's no denying that it's a bad film but I found it absolutely hilarious at times and like I said I really enjoyed it.The film follows Keith Lemon's rags to riches story.
Sure the plots weak but it's a film about Keith Lemon what do you expect?