Machete Kills

Plot synopsis:
The film is preceded by a fake trailer for "Machete Kills Again... In Space!", which features the titular hero on an intergalactic mission, starring Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber as a robot named Bleep (which Machete destroys), and Leonardo DiCaprio as "The Man in the Silver Mask" (with the sub-note that the actor playing the role is subject to change).The actual film starts off with a team of military men arriving at the Arizona-Mexico border, where they start unloading crates filled with high-tech weaponry. They're cornered by Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), both of whom are aware that these men are planning on selling weapons to the cartel. Sure enough, the cartel arrive right on cue. They whip out their guns and kill all the military men. Machete and Sartana fight back, with Machete slaughtering them with his machete. The cartel leader prepares to kill Machete, stating that "if a man kills a legend, he becomes a legend himself." That's when three helicopters show up with masked men hopping out and shooting the cartel. Sartana pleads with Machete to help her fight these other men, and she goes around to the back of the military truck to find a large missile in the back. A man in a luchador mask walks up to her and shoots Sartana in the head, killing her. Machete finds her body and falls on his knees in despair, just as he is apprehended by the masked men.Machete is set to be hanged in the office of the racist redneck Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) after being accused of murdering Sartana. Doakes tells his deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis) to kick the stool from beneath Machete's feet, which he does, but Machete doesn't die. Instead, he stares viciously at the two men. The phone rings, and Clebourne answers, then passes it to Doakes, saying it's the President. Doakes answers and then grabs his gun to shoot the noose to free Machete. He takes the phone and growls, "This is Machete."Machete is escorted to Washington DC and to the White House to meet President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen; credited under his birth name Carlos Estevez), who informs Machete that a Mexican cartel member-turned-revolutionary named Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) has a plan to launch a powerful missile at Washington unless Mexico is invaded to put an end to the corruption within that country. Ratchcock orders Machete to find Mendez and kill him. Machete refuses the mission until Rathcock grants him U.S. citizenship and tells him to do this for his country and for the late Sartana.Arriving in San Antonio, Texas, Machete meets his handler, Blanca Vasquez, aka Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard). She shows off her arsenal of guns and blades, including a three-bladed machete that catches Machete's eye. She briefs him on Mendez's plan and tells him to go to Acapulco to find a young woman named Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), as she will lead Machete to Mendez. Miss S.A. then has sex with Machete.Miss S.A. flies Machete to Acapulco, Mexico where he parachutes down to find a brothel run by Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara). She orders her band of prostitutes to make sure they get their earned money from any customer who comes in, then sends them away as Machete comes in. He takes out a picture of Cereza and requests to see her. Desdemona leaves to get her, only to come back with a gun. She fires at Machete, prompting him to run and get shot at by the other prostitutes. He runs into a room to find Cereza, who willingly goes with him. He grabs her and jumps out the window.Machete and Cereza wait at a dock for their ride to see Mendez. She reveals that she is Desdemona's daughter and that Mendez was once a normal man who became insane, earning him the nickname "Mendez the Madman". The two are picked up on a speedboat with a man named Zaror (Marko Zaror) and two revolutionaries. They all board a helicopter to head to Mendez's lair. While they're flying, Zaror says "Mendez sends a message," and he shoots Cereza in the stomach and throws her out of the helicopter to her death.The helicopter arrives at Mendez's lair. True to his reputation, he is a maniacal man who has a very large missile standing in the middle of the room, and the trigger is wired to his heart, so if he dies, the missile launches. He says there are only two people who know how to disarm it. Zaror kills the only doctor in the room, which leaves only one other person who knows, and he is all the way back in the U.S. To make matters worse, Mendez pulls the trigger on his chest, which leaves 24 hours before the missile launches. Thinking quickly, Machete grabs Mendez and takes on his henchmen, using his triple-bladed Machete to slice into Zaror's stomach and make his way out while killing other goons. He knocks Mendez unconscious and runs to the helicopter. Zaror runs out to fight Machete, but he sticks his hand in Zaror's stomach to pull out his intestine and throw it into the helicopter's blades, pulling Zaror up and slicing him to pieces. Machete boards the helicopter with Mendez, then receives a call from Miss S.A. He tells her that he is taking Mendez across the border, leading her to call President Rathcock. Machete informs them both about the missile's trigger being wired to Mendez's heart, so he is going to find the man who sold him the missile, coming from a company called Voz Tech.As the helicopter flies over the ocean, two revolutionaries on a speedboat try to shoot at Machete. He jumps out with Mendez and lands in the boat. He knocks out one revolutionary while fighting the other, then grabbing a grappling hook, shooting it at the helicopter, and sticking it to the man, which pulls him up, shreds him, and causes the helicopter to explode. Machete then steers the boat to the docks, but there are more revolutionaries waiting for them. He sticks the gas in the speedboat on full speed and jumps out with Mendez, right before the boat flips over, crashes into the dock, and kills the men with the boat's turbines.Machete pulls Mendez to land, where Mendez suddenly drops his madman persona and begins to speak to him calmly. He appears to have no recollection of the trigger on his heart and is distraught when Machete tells him that he ordered Cereza to be killed.At a Mexican radio station, a goon enters and orders the host to read off an announcement over the radio: a hit has been issued on Machete and Mendez, offering over $20 million dollars to whoever kills them. This is heard by Machete's ally Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), as well as Doakes and Clebourne.Elsewhere in Mexico, a man (Walton Goggins) enters a bar. He asks for a martini but the bartender tells him they only serve tequila and chango. The man orders the chango and then reveals to the bartender that he is the notorious killer known as El Camaleon, for nobody has ever seen his face. He kills the bartender and the other two men in the bar, then leaves. He pulls off his mask to reveal a new disguise (Cuba Gooding, Jr.). He receives a notice about the hit on Machete, and then kills a tourist couple and takes their car.Machete and Mendez go to a Mexican restaurant where everybody recognizes them and watches them with the intent to kill. A cop named Chepo (Julio Oscar Mechoso) aims his gun at Mendez's head, calling him "loco" ("crazy" in Spanish). This causes Mendez to revert to his madman persona and he begins to punch Chepo's face in, with Machete finally shooting him in the chest. The police arrive to arrest the two, forcing Machete to grab Mendez, kill the restaurant's workers, and cut the gas line to destroy the restaurant.Meanwhile, Desdemona is in her brothel whipping a man tied to a table while telling him why she hates men - her father used to sexually abuse her as a child until she chewed his balls off. She wraps the whip around the man's neck and breaks it. One of the prostitutes, named KillJoy (Alexa Vega) comes in to tell Desdemona about the hit on Machete. She then hands Desdemona a machine gun bra to prepare herself.El Camaleon (Gooding) arrives at a garage and learns that Machete was spotted in Villa Guerrera. He asks the man at the garage for directions, but when he fails to answer him properly, he kills the man. He then notices the camera which has captured his face. He shoots it and removes his mask to become a woman (Lady Gaga).Machete takes Mendez to a clinic after he was shot in the neck at the restaurant. While he's being treated, a prostitute spots them and informs Desdemona and her girls. Machete spots them and puts blood bags in the microwave, causing them explode and spray on the prostitutes. Desdemona opens fire with her machine gun bra, but Machete manages to outrun her. He grabs a defibrillator and uses it on the bra to throw Desdemona several feet away. He once again grabs Mendez and runs.The duo make it to a shop to get a car. There is a man in a wheelchair there who is willing to turn them in as a group of assassins arrive on the scene. Machete shoots the man's oxygen tank, which pushes the wheelchair into plain sight of the assassins, and they open fire on him and launch a rocket at the man. Machete and Mendez get into an armored vehicle and flee. As they continue to make their way to the border, Mendez tells Machete who he used to be - he was never part of the cartel, but rather, he was Mexico's first secret agent who planned to end the corruption in the country, but his supervisor betrayed him and had his wife and daughter beaten and murdered before his eyes. He went crazy and killed the supervisor and his men, leading him to join forces with the man who sold him the missile.With about 13 hours before the missile launches, Machete and Mendez arrive close to the border. However, Desdemona and her prostitutes are following, and El Camaleon (Gaga) is not far behind. Machete throws a blade into Desdemona's vehicle that is set to blow up, forcing her and her girls to jump from the vehicle. With it being stranded, it causes El Camaleon to hit the car and overturn his (or her) car. Desdemona runs out with a crotch gun to fire at Machete, but he outdrives her. Defeated, she and her girls walk away.The wall of the border is too big for Machete to drive through, so Mendez informs him of a wall with graffiti to drive through. It opens to a tunnel and that allows them to burst underground into the U.S. Waiting for them on the other side is Doakes and Clebourne. Doakes aims his gun to kill the two but Mendez throws a blade of his own to cut off Doakes's hand. He then breaks his neck before shooting Clebourne in the head. Not long after, a group of masked men similar to the ones from before arrive. Among them is Zaror himself. He decapitates Mendez while the other masked men pump Machete full of lead.There's a brief campaign ad to re-elect Rathcock for another term, stating his accomplishments with gun laws and legalizing marijuana in 28 states. He then adds "Winning was only the beginning."Machete wakes up in a pool at Voz Tech Industries. Next to him is Mendez's headless corpse. Standing over Machete is Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), president of Voz Tech and the same man who gave Mendez the missile. Voz holds a jar containing Mendez's still-beating heart while the missile's launch countdown is still going. He tells Machete he is lying in a healing pool, and then takes him on a tour of the place in his "Star Wars"-inspired vehicle. Voz explains that he has seen the future where the world has come to an end, so he has built a rocket that will take him and anybody willing to join him up into space. Additionally, he has been manufacturing genetically engineered super soldiers, and unleashes a number of Zaror clones to fight Machete. Machete grabs any weapon that's close to him and he kills all the clones. Voz is impressed before discussing the final part of his plan - including Mendez, he has manipulated people in other countries, including North Korea and Russia, into obtaining missiles to launch all around the world. Machete runs out of there with one of Voz's weapons and hops in the "Star Wars" car. He is followed by Voz's men all the way to an electric fence. The weapon he grabbed is a molecule disabler, which he fires at the goons, causing them to disintegrate. A helicopter arrives, and Machete uses a hook to latch onto the blades to swing around and decapitate the remaining henchmen. He gets into the helicopter which is being flown by Luz.Luz takes Machete back to her hideout with her group, the Network, and tells him that many Mexican laborers have been abducted mysteriously. He tells her about the missile, and she says she knows someone who can disarm it, but he's not gonna like who it is. It's Osiris (Tom Savini), the hitman from the previous film who killed Machete's friend Padre (Cheech Marin). Osiris asks for a chance to redeem himself, remorseful for killing Padre. Machete is then contacted by Miss S.A. who asks him to meet her at a rendezvous point after she's done with her swimsuit competition. Luz knows that Machete had sex with Miss S.A. and says his judgment is clouded.Machete meets Miss S.A. at the rendezvous point with Luz, Osiris, and another guy named Tito following close by. Miss S.A. betrays Machete by saying she offered to bring him back to Voz in exchange for winning the competition to crown her Miss Texas. A gunfight ensues between Voz's goons and Machete's friends. Tito is killed and Machete hops onto the villains' car until one of them shoots him off the roof.Machete wakes up in the desert and walks until a truck driver (Antonio Banderas) stops to pick him up. His Spanish is noticeably awkward and inconsistent, so he gives up and reveals that he is El Camaleon. In his female disguise, he was able to hail the truck's previous driver before assuming another disguise. He takes Machete out of the truck and makes him dig his own grave, but Machete digs up a tunnel where several Mexicans are sneaking past the border. Machete hops in while El Camaleon has his back turned, and he follows soon after he realizes Machete's gone. Unfortunately for him, he runs into a group of border-patrolling rednecks who shoot him to death. Meanwhile, Machete makes it out. He is picked up by Luz's allies and taken back to her hideout. She addresses all of them on Voz's plan to launch his missile and rounds everybody up to help her and Machete fight back.Just barely half an hour is left before the missile launches. Machete, Luz, and the Network infiltrate a party thrown at Voz Tech Industries by disguising themselves as the help. Voz is set to bring all the guests with him into space, complete with their own weird futuristic wardrobe. Machete comes in and tells the crowd that Voz plans to bring the world to an end, prompting the Network and Voz's henchmen to engage in another gunfight. Machete runs after Voz while Miss S.A. shoots out Luz's other eye and kills other Network members.Machete and Osiris find the heart, which Osiris finds too complicated to disarm. Voz enters and shoots the heart, leaving only five minutes left before the launch. He aims his molecule disabler at Machete, but Osiris jumps in and takes the shot to finally redeem himself. Machete comes across a luchador mask, and realizes that Voz was the one who killed Sartana. Voz admits that since Machete got involved, his future visions have become less accurate and clouded. Machete and Voz engage in a duel with their own bladed weapons. Voz gains the upper hand and nearly kills Machete, until Machete uses his hook to pull a flamethrower to spit fire in Voz's face, leaving him horribly disfigured. He stumbles into another room to grab the silver mask seen at the beginning in the fake trailer. At the same time, Luz, now blind, fights Miss S.A. She throws her crown at Luz, but she catches it and throws it back at Miss S.A.'s chest, hitting her heart. Luz finishes her off with a blast to the head.As Machete runs to turn off the missile, Voz succeeds in rounding up the party guests and the Network to bring them with him and the other abducted laborers into his rocket. He also has Luz frozen in carbonite (just as she flips him off). The missile launches with Machete riding it. He cuts the blue wire inside, and the missile falls into a river just as Voz's rocket launches into space. President Rathcock and his men find Machete, and he thanks him for saving the world. He asks where Voz is, and Machete points to the sky. Rathcock says he has a new mission for Machete to go into space to get Voz, and before he says anymore, Machete immediately accepts the mission.In the final shot, Machete goes to the Space X station in an astronaut suit and boards the rocket that will take him up to find Voz and defeat him once and for all, setting the stage for "Machete Kills Again...In Space!" It's also shown that Desdemona and her girls will face off with Machete yet again, leading to a cliffhanger where the masked Voz holds a blade at Luz's neck in front of Machete, swinging the blade before cutting to Rathcock saying he approves this message.After the credits:There's an outtake with Michelle Rodriguez "pussy-punching" Amber Heard, which Heard laughs about, followed by President Rathcock in space, firing his own badass space guns.

Tags: comedy, murder, paranormal, violence, flashback, insanity, absurd, humor, psychedelic, revenge, sadist

Review:
Machete Kills is somehow even more ridiculous than the first one, this time with president Charlie Sheen ordering Machete to go after a lunatic nuclear arms dealer played to perfection by Demian Bichir, and Mel Gibson wants to destroy the world and colonize space.
The first half of the movie focuses more on Machete going after this crazy arms dealer, with random villains like Sofia Vergara with machine gun tits coming after him.
Thus, we have a Bond-style baddie in the form of megalomaniac Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), our hero killing numerous henchmen in a variety of creative ways, some innovative sci-fi weaponry, plenty of cool in-jokes for us movie geeks (I loved the visual reference to Mad Max II) and a bevy of lovely latino babes in sexy gear (including Alexa Vega in PVC and Michelle Rodriguez in tight, cleavage enhancing top).
Hell, Rodriguez is having so much fun that he doesn't even care about the quality of his CGI, which only adds to the gleefully gaudy vibe.It all gets very silly, and with the next sequel featuring Machete in space, it's set to get a whole lot sillier; I for one will make sure I've booked my seat for the ride.7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for being marginally more fun than the first one..
I can honestly say that Machete Kills is the most entertaining thing I have seen at the cinema in years, if not ever (and I'm 47).I enjoyed the first film, but in my eyes this is a rare example of a sequel that eclipses the original.
The only bad thing I can say about Machete Kills is that real life felt somewhat dull & uninspiring in contrast when we walked out of the cinema.With this in mind, I was shocked to see that the film has flopped at the box office so far, and has a meagre 6.4 star rating on IMDb. Ignore the critics & go see it at the cinema while you can - this film deserves to be seen as loud & larger than life as the characters within it.
Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez reprise their timeless roles for this film, and they are joined by acting legends Amber Heard, Carlos Estevez, and Lady Gaga; along with lesser know but talented none the less actors such as Mel Gibson (whom you may remember for his part in a lesser known indie movie about a Scottish folk hero).I shan't spoil this film, to do so would be a grave injustice.
On the set of his movie "Desperado," Robert Rodriguez was introduced to his cousin, Danny Trejo, who had a role as a hit-man in the film.
It all will eventually lead him, however, to Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), whose actions may have serious consequences not just for Mexico or the United States, but for the entire world...Machete Kills is a corny, action- and humor-packed, fun film - just what it is meant to be.
All of these provide for a great time for anyone who likes the films to which the references are made, and certainly a treat to all fans of Robert Rodriguez.The acting, when it's not purposefully bad, is outstanding.
The director, as usually, was involved in many other aspects of filmmaking, such as production, composing the score (which is, as always in his works, fitting and memorable), editing, etc.Overall, Machete Kills is a fun exploitation film.
Machete Kills however is so over the top, so violent, so funny in a very creative Rodriguez way that I don't see how any action movie fan could resist watching it at least once.
So for anyone who loves Danny Trejo, Robert Rodriguez, or action movies in general, I highly recommend you do yourself a favor; ignore the low ratings for this movie and go buy tickets to check out Machete Kills for yourself.
Instead of shining a light on inventive and goofy kills and stunts, it focuses on over done Charlie Sheen gags (credited for the film as his birth name Carlos Estevez), jokes about how crazy Mel Gibson is, and Lady Gaga briefly having a man's voice.
It's a lazy film and a waste of time and if they do intend on making Machete Kills Again In Space like this film claimed they were, let's just hope that it brings back the fun of the original..
Watching this I got exactly what I expected, over the top violence & action, plenty funny jokes and laughs at the many random ways of Machete taking out his opponents, as well as the many cameos in the movie.
It was a great movie, but I cant help but feel by making the movie more ridiculous and funny in that way, the story kinda suffered, compared to the original.Machete (Danny Trejo) finds himself being hired by the US government to stop a missile being launched at Washington.
Its the sort of movie you can pick up & laugh at many times, as opposed to taking anything from it.Trejo's depiction of Machete is really well played, again as the quiet silent type, with some awesome funny lines like "Machete Don't Tweet".
The over-the-top violence and sex is still there, but something still did not feel right as I was watching this film.The movie starts out right as you get an allegedly fake trailer for "Machete Kills Again .
Based on the casting of supporting characters, Rodriguez may have also intended "Machete Kills" more as a second chance for once-prominent actors with now-notorious reputations than a tongue-in-cheek tribute to his love for fun, low-budget cinema.The original "Machete" was no masterpiece, but it was enjoyable to watch because Danny Trejo played an appealing bad-ass, and the narrative was solid.
There's a terrorist who is about to launch a nuclear missile from Mexico to Washington, D.C., and is one of those villains who doesn't know what he wants to do with the world once he takes it over.While Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, and others from the original movie make welcome returns to this sequel, so many characters are added to this story that their presence actually makes the story more confusing.
There's a Miss Texas beauty pageant contestant (Amber Heard) who serves as both a femme fatale and almost an Agent Q to Machete, a brothel owner (Sofia Vergara) with an uninspired bra gun which has been done in countless movies and TV shows before, and a lone assassin who assumes many identities (including Lady Gaga) who wants to kill Machete for reasons the film doesn't seem to explain.If you're going to accommodate that many characters, write a story where every character has more of a useful goal than "Kill the hero", or even "Make a clever cameo".
Nobody's ever winning any awards for this, but Charlie Sheen - I'm sorry, Carlos Estevez - as the president is damn funny, Damian Bichir plays a great psychopath, and Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, Michelle Rodriguez, Lady Gaga, and Alexa Vera all provide enough funny lines and eye candy to keep you happy.
I bought this off of iTunes and I must say, this is the goriest, the bloodiest, and the most insane movie I've ever watched lol, it is so off the charts gory that it makes hansel and gretel: witch hunters look tame, and also, machete 2 is better than the first film, it has more action and more blood, guts, and gore, and the theme song is the best theme song I've ever heard.
When Machete grabs a hold of a man's intestines and throws them onto the spinning blades of a helicopter, all while the intestines are still attached to the man, the feeling of gross absurdity isn't so much a gory little stint of humor but a rehashed gimmick that brings significantly less pleasure to a viewer.Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills is a fine sequel, well-shot, directed with respect to exploitation films of decades past, and plays the kind of instruments you'd expect for this kind of genre piece.
The film begins with a "prevue" for Machete Kills Again...In Space, starring the likes of Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Leonardo DiCaprio (subject to change), which is presented with convincing film-grain, seventies-era cheapness, and pleasantly scuzzy picture quality.
The Machete franchise is at that frightening point in its time where its next film can either make it or let everything it has built up until this point collapse; the sad thing is this is only its second chapter.Starring: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofía Vergara, Amber Heard, Demián Bichir, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Walton Goggins, William Sadler, Alexa Vega, and Mel Gibson.
Building up on the titular character that has been a recurring feature in Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids movie series since 2001, and somersaulting the impassive Danno Trejo into super-stardom, Machete was a thoroughly enjoyable and ridiculously funny, 70s style exploitive cinema, with purposely trashy CGI, comic book style pun spewing dialogs, and caricatures impersonating as heroes and villains.
It is a fan-boy spoof after all, and so featuring in and out are lunatic characters- Charlie Sheen as the rocking President of the US, Amber Heard as a beauty queen/traitorous secret agent, Vanessa Hudgens as a virgin prostitute (incredible, I know!), Sofia Vergara as the mama prostitute with her assets always firing some kind of projectile, Demian Bichir with his multiple split personalities ("How many of you are there"- asks Machete incredulously) along with a bomb connected to his heart, and the best- The Chameleon, a face changing assassin portrayed by Cuba Gooding Jr, Antonio Banderas, Water Goggins, and Lady Gaga, the last avatar a being an showstopper!Machete Kills stays true to the genre -another offering at the altar of the reigning god of Hollywood Mexploitative B movies- Danny Trejo.
And seeing that this one ends as a start to a sequel that heavily borrows from Star Wars, (Machete Kills Again In Space) Robert Rodriguez might be getting carried away like he did with Spy Kids.
Anyone who went into the original MACHETE, developed from a faux trailer created for the Rodriguez/Tarantino GRINDHOUSE collaboration, and felt that the movie didn't quite live up to their expectations should've found everything they could possibly want in the sequel.
A well- timed phone call from the President of the United States saves him from the gallows and puts him on a mission into Mexico to assassinate drug cartel boss Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) who's got a nuclear weapon pointed at Washington, D.C. Machete will face a team of vengeful prostitutes as beautiful as they are deadly, an assassin who can assume any identity, and an army of specially trained clones in his most dangerous assignment yet in which the fate of the entire world is in his hands.If this movie were any more buggin' insane, you'd need antipsychotics just to watch it; based on the horrible reviews it's received, some people probably already believe you'd need them to suffer a single moment of the film.
Sure Danny Trejo is not a great actor but costars like Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Carlos Estevez, Antonio Banderas, and Cuba Gooding Jr. really make this movie an improvement over the last movie.
Rodriguez handles the film very well and the scenes are shot amazingly for the type of film he set out to make here.Having enjoyed Machete in 2010 I must say this film is just above the first movie as the acting is so much better with the help of Mel Gibson.
Absolutely, this movie is a blast thanks to Robert Rodriguez' amazing style and solid direction, the unbelievable cast all of whom are perfect and the nutty nature that takes place from the cartoonish-ly bloody violence, Gaga's awesome debut, super sexy women (especially Vergara and Vega) and the relentless onslaught of hilarious gags..
Machete survives the shoot out and is eventually hired by the president of the US (Charlie Sheen, credited by his real name Carlos Estévez) to go to Mexico to find a terrorist who threatens to launch a missile at Washington D.C. Machete finds this crazy terrorist guy, whose name is Mendez (Demian Bichir), and he tries to bring him to the US while a bunch of mercenaries chase them and try to kill them to collect the bounty that's been put on their heads.There are several ways in which you can create a comedy movie.
Like I said, I think Rodriguez ran out of all of his grindhouse ideas after making his previous movies, and that is fine, but Machete Kills offers nothing but predictable, uninspiring and boring grindhouse jokes.
Rodriguez already created two grindhouse movies, and if he can't come up with more original and quality ideas for more grindhouse comedies anymore, he should have written Machete Kills as a slightly different kind of comedy (let's say, a comedy revolving around a funny premise or funny character) that has a grindhouse feel to it, instead of forcing another pure grindhouse comedy.
You know that you are going to enjoy hilarious plot, short roles of well known actors and actresses (like Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica alba, or Mel Gibson), lots of bullets, lots of knives, lots of blood, and the firm of Robert Rodriguez, making a film in the line of that 70's B series action movies or the more recent Planet Terror or Grindhouse.
The film has very good points, like Michelle Rodriguez (always the perfect action woman, who could kick your ass any moment) or Charlie Sheen as The President.
Continuing my plan to watch every Mel Gibson movie in order, I come to Machete Kills (2013)Plot In A Paragraph: The U.S. government recruits Machete (Danny Trejo) to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer (Gibson) who looks to launch a weapon into space.In nothing more than a glorified cameo (Playing a villain on screen for the first time) Gibson hams it up in full pantomime villain mode, playing essentially a Bond villain.
In 2013, Rodriguez and Trejo teamed up again for a sequel.In "Machete Kills", Trejo is saved from a vigilante sheriff by an almost-too-late phone call from the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen, billed in this film as Carlos Estevez).
Cast list includes Danny, Michelle & Jessica Alba from the previous film but includes some great additions in the form of...Mel Gibson as Voz (Great to see him back on fun form) Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio (Wow she's terrific) ALEXA VEGA as Killjoy (My My has she grown up from the SPY KIDS Films, Mr Rodriguez was rumoured to be making "BARBARELLA" years ago & she would be perfect in the role, I wonder if we'll get a fun spoof in "MACHETE KILLS in SPACE!" with her doing the infamous opening striptease from that film, she's now 26 and Awesome!) Demian Bichir as Mendez (makes the film a joy to watch)Charlie Sheen as Mr President (Well you can't help but smile) Sofia Vergara (Wowzzer a sexy lady & I love the nod to the Ursula Andress film "The 7th Victim with the best Bra EVER!!!) And then we get Lady Gaga (not a fan but surprisingly good), Antonio Banderas (Always good & was an Awesome ZORRO) and Cuba Gooding Jr (who I agree with others looked out of place but I guess that was the point)Add in a fun cameo or two including Vanessa Hudgens and we have a super cast.It's James Bond on acid and I LOVE THAT...some similarities to Moonraker the craziest ever Bond (but God Bless Cubby Broccolli for making it and that 007 outing made a ton of money on the back of the Star Wars film) Crazy mad man & inventor (Gibson) tries to destroy the world and take a group of people to his space station, it's a guys film, no apologies for that...with ray guns, exploding helicopters, fun rides, motorboat chases and fun quips and little winks to the audience.DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY...Get the beers in and you should enjoy it, language is a little salty & adult but this is Grindhouse stuff, surprisingly no nudity but Alexa is a little cheeky.PRAYING the 3rd Film gets made as it looks like the BEST of the Lot.
I wish I would have gone to the theaters so I could have supported it.Action - solidStory - well done andActing - hard press making it any betterMy favorite part about the movie is probably the trailer for Machete kills in space at the beginning and what everything leads to at the end.I really hope they make that one..
The whole budget seems like it went to the high class actors, Mel Gibson sure as hell cannot come cheap.It's certainly more crazier than the first movie, if you're a fan of grindhouse films you owe it yourself to at least watch the movie..
Robert Rodriguez has made some very good movies, but this flick, much like it's predecessor Machete, is not one of them.
Robert Rodriguez's MACHETE KILLS isn't nearly as entertaining as the first film but fans of that movie should find enough humor here to keep you entertained.
The movie is so ironic, you can't watch it and feel it, you will just wait till it ends, i don't even know why i wasted my time.I feel sorry to rate it 2, with the existence of such starts, like Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, Michelle Rodriguez and others.
'MACHETE KILLS': Four and a Half Stars (Out of Five)Director Robert Rodriguez's over-the-top sequel to his 2010 hit exploitation film, based on his popular fake B-movie trailer (which was released with he and director Quentin Tarantino's 'GRINDHOUSE' double feature in 2007).
And the movie really just seems like a way to set up Machete kills again.
Sure, it has its moments, but for the most part there's just something lacking.MACHETE KILLS sees everyone's favourite Mexican B-actor, Danny Trejo, playing a Bond-style character who's sent on a secret mission by the US President (a well-cast Charlie Sheen).