Date Movie

Plot synopsis:
Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) is an obese woman who dreams of marrying Napoleon Dynamite (Josh Meyers), but even in her dreams she is rejected. Writing in her diary, she thinks she will never find her true love. Julia goes outside and dances to impress men on the streets, but is unsuccessful. Julia goes to work at her father Frank's (Eddie Griffin) Greek diner. There she meets Grant Fockyerdoder, with whom she forms an instant attraction. When Frank yells at Julia to get an order, she turns to respond and hits Grant over the head with the coffee pot she is holding, knocking him to the floor. She turns around only to find his table is suddenly empty and figures he ran away. Julia wants help and goes to see a love therapist, Hitch, who rejects her at first but reluctantly agrees to help her. Hitch takes her to a garage where she gets "pimped out" and made slimmer.
She earns a spot on a reality television dating show called The Extreme Bachelor, the bachelor turning out to be Grant, the man she met in the diner. Host Ty Andrews (Scott Speedman) introduces Grant, who greets all the women and is asked to eliminate the losers, which he does by shooting them one by one. Julia is the last woman standing and is rewarded with dinner for two at a restaurant called "A Restaurant". After their meal, Julia and Grant head back to her apartment, where they have sex. Julia takes Grant to meet her parents.
Later, Grant takes Julia to Tiffany & Co., where they turn on the lights to reveal the salespeople ready to let her pick whatever she wants. Grant then confesses he loves her and proposes to her. Julia happily says yes. Julia and Grant go to a wedding planner named Jell-O (Valery Ortiz), who has a big butt. She suggests that they go to a restaurant called Taco Butt (in alternate versions of the movie, she uses her butt as a pencil sharpener and recommends that they use a garbage barge as their wedding location). When they decline, she gets annoyed. When Grant says he has a best man, she shows them what she booked for the entertainment, after which she uses her butt to knock over her desk then rips off her clothes to reveal a gold liquid spandex tight suit. She shows off her dance moves, then twerks and bounce and backs up to the couple with her massive rear for them to scream while she bounces and crushing and suffocate them for them to scream more for the screen to cut to the next scene. The alternate scene is she has backup dancers and she bounces and shows off her dance moves until she shakes her massive booty right to them for them to scream and knocks them over with her right and left buttcheek to end it. Andy helps Julia shop for her wedding dress. At the dress store, Julia hits her head on a power box and finds that she can read people's thoughts. Julia finds from reading Andy's mind that she wants to get back together with Grant and plans to split the two of them up. Julia and Andy fight each other, Kill Bill-style. In one alternate version of the film adaptation, they walk off the screen—presumably to the left—in order to engage in "foot fellatio" to quote Danny (Jack Cortes) verbatim.
She cannot forgive Grant, and agrees to marry Nicky. Once at the altar with Nicky, Julia is regretting it and has flashbacks about her and Grant. They get back together and get married, with Hitch officiating. Andy and Nicky meet at the wedding, and fall in love. Meanwhile, Grant and Julia leave in a horse and carriage. Julia also gets a present from her mother-in-law: a vaginal thermometer which apparently has been in their family for generations and is regarded as good luck when it is not washed.
On their honeymoon, Grant and Julia go to Kong Island and film a woman, Anne (Carmen Electra), tied to two pieces of wood. King Kong comes on and rips off her dress, leaving her clad in a leopard print bikini. King Kong then gropes her, she says "I like hairy guys" and King Kong roars and flattens her.

Tags: bleak, romantic, comedy, stupid, flashback

Review:
Laughs are supposed to ensue Just when you thought Hollywood has reached an all time low comes "Date Movie," a movie that proves that anything can be made into a film in Hollywood and no matter how bad something is people will dish out their hard earned money to see it.
"Date Movie" is by far the worst pile of crap I have seen in several years and can possibly go down in the history of film as being one of the worst movies ever made.This movie contained zero laughs, none of the spoofs were even remotely funny.
All the jokes fell flat and half way through its groundbreaking 75 minute running time I wanted to find a way to end my life so I wouldn't have to sit through another second of this horrid movie.There really isn't a positive thing I can say about this movie.
While "Date Movie" only runs 75 minutes they try to spoof everything they can including Bridget Jones's Diary, Kill Bill, Say Anything, My Best Friend's Wedding, Napoleon Dynamite, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Hitch, The Bachelor, Meet the Parents, Sleepless in Seattle, Rize, King Kong, Wedding Planner and so many more.
You just sit there staring at the screen, losing your brain cells, and wondering how on earth someone got money to produce this pile of garbage.I guess you should know that a movie is really bad when it's not screened for critics and the trailer tries to sell you a movie by saying "from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie" but there is always that small part of me that says it can't be as bad as it looks but in this case it's worse than it looks.
These guys have no right what so ever to make a movie when they put out a movie like "Date Movie." There should be a law in Hollywood that if your movie is hated by both critics and audiences alike that you should be placed in a cell and beaten until you write everyone who watched your film a huge letter of apology.
This is the worst film to come out of Hollywood in years even worse than "Gigli," "Batman and Robin" and "You Got Served." MovieManMenzel's final rating for "Date Movie" is a 0 out of ten.
Well, she's in it, and she makes the most of a thoroughly unchallenging role, but unless you're a total completist, that shouldn't be enough of a reason to waste even 80 minutes of your life on this appalling waste of talent.What the writer/directors seem to have missed is that if you're going to parody or satirise a scene from a decent movie, you actually have to add something.
My friends and I went into this movie expecting something along the lines of a dumb but funny movie like "Scary Movie" or "Not another Teen Movie".Sad to say, this was the worst movie I've seen since the beginning of 2005.
The only thing that kept me watching this movie was Alyson Hannigan herself.Save your money on this one..
My four other friends and I wanted to see a movie that would make us laugh and have a good time.
& Mrs. Smith at My Legally Blonde Best Friend's Big Fat Greek Wedding in Sweet Home Alabama, which was Crashed by King Kong, Shallow Hal, Napoleon Dynamite, and Bridget Jones as Hitch discovered What Women Want: How To Say Anything To Lose A Guy In Ten Days whenever they Meet the Parents and Kill Bill.Hank: What is the long scientific expression of Date Movie's title?Duffyboy: Well done you're doing superb!
Question: It's a series of famous moments from movies that may or may not actually be romantic comedies, and then makes a satire of them as if it were concocted by ten-year olds who had never seen the original pictures.Hank: What is the significant flaw of Date Movie?
I have had a glance at the bad reviews of "Date Movie" in IMDb but as a fan of Alyson Hannigan since she performed Willow in "Buffy", I decided to give a chance to this film.
"Date Movie" is a gross parody of "Bridget Jones's Diary", "Shallow Hall", "Hitch", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", "Meet the Fockers", "When Harry Met Sally", "Kill Bill", "Lord of the Rings", "King Kong" and many other films.
The scenes just made no sense when you watch them all as one movie, they even had movie spoofs of films that came out literally like 6 months ago.
Everything that is bad or over the top is INTENDED to be so, hence, planned and I like it.Alyson Hannigan and Adam Campbell have good chemistry and acting skills and I enjoyed their performances very much.
Also, the cast is full of talented parody performers, like Jennifer Coolidge, Eddie Griffin and Tony Cox.For anyone who doesn't particularly find romantic comedies good, and considers them cheesy and overrated, this is the film.
It's particular 'victims' are precisely romantic comedies, mostly My Best Friend's Wedding, Meet the Fockers, Wedding Planner, Hitch, Bridget Jones' Diary, My Big Fat Greek Wedding and most wedding films.Alyson Hanigan's character is named Julia Jones, parody of Bridget Jones and Julia Roberts, and Adam Campbell plays Grant Fockyourdaughter, parody of Hugh Grant and Fockers.
If You're a 13 Year Old Boy, You Might Like It. A parody of 'Date Movies', this film DATE MOVIE just isn't particularly funny.
'Date Movie' continues the seemingly never ending franchise of comedies intended to lump together every cliché from recently popular films, a trend set off by the 'Scary Movie' series.
I do not think there is a term to describe every joke falling flat and every thing that might have been even enjoyable (even in a "this is so bad its good" sort of way) going to waste.
The romantic figure in the film, the guy with the British accent was a poor man's Topher Grace, and i'm sorry, as an Australian that you were subjected to Sophie Monk (Andy, the best friend) and her lack of acting talent, but in all fairness to her, this movie didn't exactly require good acting.
Date Movie is a movie where once you get thinking about the concept, you realize there's no way it can actually work, mostly because it's trying to make fun of movies that were funny in the first place.
While most parody movies may take a notable line and put a twist to it or in some cases copy the line, Date Movie's approach seems to be to rip out entire scenes from movies, add some lame punchline, and expect you to laugh like they thought of it all themselves and you haven't just seen a scene from a different film for the second time.When I saw/sat through the movie in the theater, sitting behind me were three girls who seemed to be talking the whole time.
It's like the script writers took their favorite moments in a dozen different comedies and patched them out together in one hell of a mess that some people might call "a movie".Among the scenes copied, you will find Jinxer and the toilet flush from "Meet the parents", Jinxer and the Urn from "Meet the parents", The football match from "Meet the Fockers" (they did their best to remind people of famous Ben Stiller movies apparently) mixed with the basket ball scene from "Along came Poly" (in one of the few scenes that tore out a smile out of me), The Greek restaurant scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", The Diary from "Bridget's Jones Diary", The Black dad from "Something about Mary" (they indeed are big on Stiller), The scene about "he lost his virginity with the Maid" from "Meet the Fockers" but with a gay twist, The old lady from "Not another teen movie" (you know they are desperate when they try to spoof a movie that was already a spoof) etc ...In that mess, they threw a bad copy of Napoleon Dynamite "Gosh !", a remake of the Paris Hilton Video, A scene from King Kong, a totally out of place jab at "The Lord of the Rings", and various other "winks" at the audience that make that mess feel even less coherent if it was at all possible.It is not only bad that they try (pitifully) to make fun of actually funny comedies (like "Wedding Crashers") doing it so bad it becomes un-funny, on top of that they go as far as possible in Sleazy and disgusting to keep their PG-13, to be able to (or so they thought) please their male teenage audience.At the end, we have a sorry mumbo jumbo of scenes, that I cannot in good conscience call a movie.Actors are OK, with Mrs Hannigan being really good very often.
When she looked at this script was she actually thinking that this was very funny and a good movie for her followup of American Wedding?
It made fun of the Airport pictures, as well as "The Posidon Adventure," "Earthquake," and "The High and the Mighty," among others.This comedy was followed in quick succession by "Spaceballs," "Amazon Women on the Moon" (which satirized sci-fi movies), the "Naked Gun" films, "Spy Hard," "Mafia" and "Repossessed" (all with Leslie Nielson), "Dracula: Dead and Loving It," "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon I", and the 'Scary Movie" series.Many of these had their own special charm, although none has lived up to the dumb-but-hilarious high mark set by Airplane!
(although Nielson's "Naked Gun" trio, based on the short-lived 1982 TV show, "Police Squad!," probably came the closest).The newest effort, however, "Date Movie" (a send-up of all of those romantic stories we love to hate), attempts to do to those tales what Dick Cheney did to Harry Whittington's face, pepper it with shotgun pellets without hitting anything vital.Making fun of such modern work as "King Kong," "When Harry Met Sally," "Wedding Crashers," "Mr.
This movie makes France's Reign Of Terror seem like an episode of "Rocky & Bullwinkle." I've gotten bigger laughs with MY jokes, and my jokes stink.I think you get my point.The plot (what there is of it) has one of the most untalented individuals ever to appear before a camera (including Al Gore), Adam Campbell as Grant Fonckyerdodder (get it?!), a nebbish idiot who is wooing Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan, "American Wedding," as well as a host of bad TV shows) and the supposed comic misadventures they go through meeting his folks, Jennifer and Fred (Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard, both veterans of the much funnier films, "Waiting For Guffman," "Best Of Show" and "A Mighty Wind").Grant's beautiful ex-girlfriend, Andy (Sophie Monk), however, wants him back.Other embarrassed clowns passing themselves off as celebrities appear in this travesty, wondering around like doomed souls on the deck of the HMS Lusitania just before a German torpedo smashed into her cargo of illegal armaments.
These include the poor man's Wayne Brady, Eddie Griffin (he played the pimp in the "Deuce Bigalow" pictures, so you get an idea of what I'm talking about), Carmen Electra, Michael Brooks, Matt Austin and Michael Jackson impersonator, Edward Moss and, oh, who cares?It really doesn't matter one iota, anyway, you know.With Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer ("Scary Movie") sharing writing and directing chores (much like Loeb and Leopold shared in the killing of Bobby Franks  in fact, even Clarence Darrow wouldn't defend these directors), this will go down as nothing but a dull series of parodies that fails to parodize anything and does not even remotely approach the town of Humor.It just stops at Tedium, spends about 90 minutes (although it seems much longer) and ends.
But not only 13 year old boys liked this movie because my parents went to see this with me and they were crying from laughter.So if you want to have fun I think that you should go see this movie and forget about all of these other comments..
There isn't a single laugh to be had, and the movie feels like a bad high school play.
Generally I am not a very politically correct movie watcher but the scene in which a drunk gets beaten up for no reason whatsoever other than it being "funny", was absolutely nauseating to me, especially when you hear this kind of thing happening on the news every night- there are too many idiots out there who would think that is a cool thing to do, and I feel this is irresponsible film-making taken to the limit.
I really regret going to the movies to see this and playing 12.50 for the tickets so I can see it.All I can say is that I want my money back and the 75 minutes i spent watching this movie which i will never ever get.This movie is absolutely rote and the acting is awful.The parodies they did in this movie were so bad.In the first 10 minutes of the movie I saw 3 people get up and leave.They didn't return.The same happened at 20 and 30 minutes.These were all kids.There wasn't a single laugh in the theater.Hardly anyone stayed at the end.Don't rent this movie at all - it isn't worth the $1 rental price.I really regret ignoring peoples advice that saw the movie "Dont see this movie!
it is awful" Aaron Seltzer who directed the movie really doesn't know how to make movies.I really wanted to give this 0 stars but instead the lowest possible rating is 1 star.Officialy in my top 10 worst movies I ever seen in my life.I don't think Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg should be able to make movies again after Epic Movie,Date movie,Meet the Spartans,Vampires Suck.
This is probably the most reviewed title among those I really felt like writing about, but still I think it can go with yet another mini-essay on how bad it was.Being in a mood for something light and hearing "there's something about a funny fat girl on TV" i sat down to watch.
It is so annoyingly brain numbing (and have I mentioned not funny?) that after wards you will literally want to forget you ever saw it from the great pain it left in your head.Unless you are a fan of ridiculously dragged-out jokes, scene after scene of disgusting bodily function humor, bad acting (even from good actors like Alyson Hannigan), and comedy movies that aren't funny, don't see Date Movie.
Bad acting awful, jokes and disgusting at times it did not have any good parts and looked like a complete rush job.
When I saw all this bad comment I thought the film would be horrible but I had a couple of laugh for sure I thought the joke with the cat was hilarious and some other jokes were funny too.
Anyways me I had a really good times watching this movie and I like absurd humor.
I think Alison Hannigan was really funny in this role.I had prefer scary movies but I had a couple of good laugh watching this one.
Please stay away from this film.I felt sorry for Alyson, she tried her best but the story and the rest of the actors was just so poor, who wants to see a cat take a crap for 15 mins.I just in total shock at how bad this film was, but hey not all doom and gloom, the trailer for scary movie 4 came with this film.Cant wait!.
So all in all, the jokes fall flat, and the movie really missed a chance to create something quite funny, since a parody of date movies, had it been done well, could have been hilarious.
If you like stupid comedy (such as two people on a date beating up a homeless man for no reason) this is a film you'll want to check into.
Date Movie was a movie that I thought would turn out to be hilarious, but yet, it turned out to be incredibly stupid, senseless, and unfunny as possible!!!The only real funny part was at the starting when Alyson Hannigan was trying to be sexy,and that wasn't even all that funny.I think Date Movie was a useless piece of junk that should have never been made, because it hurt's the good name of spoof movies everywhere, basically meaning the Scary Movie series.I thought that Date Movie was one of the grossest, sloppiest movies ever as well.I mean, I can stand some gross humor, but this film went a little to far, and I am ashamed that the people in this film agreed to act in this nonsense, especially Alyson Hannigan.So I warn you, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!It isn't worth spending money or time on..
Besides, writers and directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (yes, "two of the six" writers of "Scary Movie") don't seem to have any grasp of the importance of timing in creating a comedy nor do they pace the film in such a way that makes it an effective parody of the genre it spoofs.In the end, watching this film feels like you're trapped in a restaurant with some annoying loser who talks all evening thinking s/he's funny, and you wish you were at home instead, doing something - anything - else..
I went to see date movie with my friends on my Birthday and like all of you saw the previews and was expecting to be laughing my butt off.
Don't go into this expecting it to be anywhere near the quality of a Scary Movie film, at least those have some funny points..
This movie is so funny my friends and I thought it was the best movie ever the whole cinema was laughing out loud I went to see it another 4 times!!
If you want to watch a good, funny movie then I suggest you watch this movie, it has a lot of parodies and is very enjoyable..
The jokes are very funny, and it does a very good job of spoofing off the other movies.
This movie is a lot like the scary movie series which all people watch.
I just loved this movie and recommend this to people who need a good laugh..