The Thing with Two Heads

Plot synopsis:
A car pulls into a pathway and up to a vast mansion. A driver gets out and walks to the boot to get out a wheelchair. An Orderly comes out to open a rear door. Dr. Maxwell Kirshner (Ray Milland) is helped out of the car and put in a wheelchair. He gets wheeled up the steps and into the mansion.Kirshner asks if his experiment has been a success. He is told by the orderly that it has been. He is wheeled down the stairs into a basement where we see the experiment is in fact a two headed gorilla (Rick Baker) that Dr. Kirshner has in fact made. The experiment is to determine whether another head can survive on one single body. Dr Kirshner has done this because he hasn't got much longer to live and wants to transplant his still living head from his lifeless body and onto a another donor so that he may continue living and get back to working as the world's most successful surgeon. He approaches the bars of the cage that hold his new creature, even when told not to but he is unafraid. He says that the creature understands him and therefore will not hurt him.Dr Kirshner returns to his hospital institute to over look an operation done by his close friend and associate doctor named Phillip Desmond (Roger Perry). An onlooker asks why during the operation why he cant see more blood. He is told that both patients are hooked up to individual heart and lung machines and the blood is easily passed through plastic tubing all the time during the operation. Dr Kirshner returns back to the basement and his two headed gorilla to remove one of the heads from its body. A cage is opened to allow them to get inside from their original cage. The cage has no bottom layer so they use a table to place the cage on. Kirshner orders his assistants to sedate his creature but plans go awry when the creature is upset about the needle and knocks both the cage off of the table and Dr. Kirshner out of his wheelchair, hurting him severely. It then proceeds to smash up the lab and escapes. Kirshner tells the assistant to get the creature back as he doesn't have much time left to live. The creature runs away and into a supermarket where the assistants chase after it. The gorilla is found eating a banana in the fruit section of the supermarket. Kirshner hires a new doctor to help his friend with the transplant. Little does he realize that the new doctor is an African American and Kirshner hates African Americans. He is a bigot and a racist. He tells the new doctor that his services that were about to start are now no longer required because he doesn't want an African American doctor working anywhere near him or with him. He tells the African American doctor that he will be remembursed for his time and the original duration that he was supposed to be working for. The African American doctor whose name is Dr. Fred Williams (Don Marshall) takes great offence to this. Dr. Desmond sticks up for Dr. Williams saying whether he is African American or not, he is a damn good doctor.This disgusts Kirshner and he wheels himself out of the office. He returns once again back to the basement where he successfully removes the 2nd head of the creature. He calls his friend Dr Desmond and Desmond rushes over. He tells him he is ready for his own transplant to a healthy donor. Desmond is not sure about it until Kirshner tells him that the head that is now on the gorilla is in fact the 2nd head he put on. He had successfully removed the original gorillas head and replaced it with the 2nd transplanted one. Meanwhile on death row the convicts are told that if they donated their bodies to science, it will stop them getting the electric chair. One convict is lead to the chair which turns out to be an African American himself, a very big African American named Jack Moss (Roosevelt "Rosey" Gier). Just as they sit him in the chair, he decides to volunteer for the science experiment because he is innocent of the crime he was supposed to have committed and therefore he believes that in 30 days he will have freed himself of the accusation. The police, including Sergeant Hacker (Roger Gentry), escort Jack to the transplant center for this experiment they have been told about. The doctors are surprised to see a large African American being brought before them for this experiment knowing full well that when Kirshner wakes up, he isn't going to like what he sees. However the doctors work around the clock to transplant Dr Kirshner's head onto Jack's body.After the operation Kirshner wakes up and Desmond tells him that the operation was a success. Kirshner says he can feel the breath in his new lungs and that he can move his arm. Desmond tells him that they had no other choice but to transplant his head onto the African American's body. Kirshner says to Desmond "is this part of a joke?" Desmond tells him that he would not have lived another day if they hadn't of operated when they did.At that moment, Jack awakes and is freaked out by the fact that Kirshner's head is on his body. Kirshner tells him to shut up and rest so they can recuperate the energy to test drive his new body and try out his surgical procedures to become the world's greatest doctor again. Jack gets angry and try to get up from the table but Kirshner cries out for someone to sedate the Jack of the body, which Desmond does. Kirshner exhausted, tells Desmond that he couldn't control the Jack side of the body, he can only control the body if Jack is sedated or asleep. Kirshner is worried that Jack could harm his half of the body.Desmond tells him that he will keep the Jack side heavily sedated all the time while Kirshner regains the power to move the body. Leaving Kirshner to rest, Desmond meets up with Dr. Williams again and tells him he needs his help. Williams is reluctant at first because of Dr Kirshner but Desmond reassures him that his beliefs are not the same as Dr. Kirshner's and that his help is very much needed. Although Williams still doesn't know what has been asked of him, he is told by Desmond to go home and get some things together. Williams asks when he will find out what is going on in the room that is keeping Jack and Kirshner. Desmond tells him that he will find out in good time.Meanwhile a nurse (Britt Nilsson) comes to administer a sedation to Jack's side of the body. Jack tricks the nurse and wakes up, giving her the sedation needle instead by stabbing it into her bum. He tricks one of the cops outside the door to come in and knocks him unconscious. Grabbing the cops gun, he beats up the other cop and runs out of the building taking Williams with him/them. Williams drives the car under gunpoint by Jack and Desmond chases after them. Jack asks Williams if he can get rid of Kirshner's head off of his body. He tells Williams that if he won't help him then, as he will kill Kirshner and remove his head himself. Williams warns him that if he did that, he would be killing himself also. He also tells him that Kirshner's head can only be removed surgically if he wants a safe procedure.The police chase after Jack, Kirshner and Williams. Jack takes over driving and accidentally crashes the car and causes a flat tire. Williams sits with Kirshner and Jack beneath a tree and asks why Jack was on Death Row. Jack tells him that he was framed for a stick up that went wrong, a friend of his used a gun that Jack owned to knock off a store and he shot a cop. As the gun was Jack's and his prints were on the gun. Knowing that Jack was arrested for the murder, his friend ran away and Jack took the fall. Kirshner then tries to appeal to Williams by offering him the accolade of the transplant. Williams sees through his ploy and tells him that he insulted him and therefore would not accept his offer as it would mean that he would have to take off Jack's head from the body.All three of them run up a hill and find a motocross track. Jack watches as a motocross rider falls off his bike and Jack takes it and rides off round the motocross track with Kirshner and Williams riding also. Several bikes crash after seeing the two headed horror and soon the police are hot on their trail. Kirshner screams to Jack that he will get them all killed. Jack snaps back that he will get them out of this mess. Kirshner doesn't believe him and the bikes speeds towards a gap, a very deep gap which Jack easily jumps. The police cars chasing them, crash one after the other, some even land on each other. Luckily the cars are wrecked yet the cops are not injured.Jack rides the bike to his wife's house. Lila (Chelsea Brown) isn't that pleased to see him because of Kirshner's head is on his body. Jack asks his wife to kiss him, she almost does but is put off from the intimate moment by Kirshner's head. With a degree of sexual chemistry she then asks if he has two of everything meaning does he have two genitals. Jack laughs at this. Jack lays down to rest and Jack's wife Lila says she is gonna get dinner. Jack asks her to stay and he feels some sexual energy towards her. She is put off about this. Jack tells her that if Kirshner's head is putting her off that he will cover it with a pillow case. That doesn't change her mind and she walks off. Jack turns to Kirshner and tells him for interrupting his sexual activity that he has got to go.While Jack is sleeping Kirshner finds out that he can control the body almost fully. Kirshner is very happy about this. Jack, Kirshner, Williams and Lila sit down for dinner. Jack offers some to Kirshner who tells him he doesn't eat that kind of food. Lila says to Kirshner "What's the matter baby, dont you like soul food?". Kirshner replies with a bigot remark of "What's for pudding? Watermelon?" Jack tells Kirshner not to worry about the food as he is eating it not Kirshner. Lila strikes up a cigarette to which Kirshner asks for a cigarette. Lila gives him one and the smoke ends up coming out of Jack's mouth while he is eating. Disgusted by this, Jack takes the cigarette out of Kirshner's mouth and tells him not to smoke while he is eating. Lila asks what it will take to take Kirshner's head from Jack's body. Kirshner tells her that without a specially crafted surgical team, it is impossible to do the operation and both of them will die. Williams tells Kirshner that he is dead wrong about that, as the removal procedure is easily done without the aid of the surgical team.Williams drives to a medical warehouse to get what he needs for the operation. Frightened by what Williams has told him, Kirshner manages to take over Jack's body and starts playing around with his face. Jack asks him to stop it and Kirshner knocks out Jack by punching him in the face and then knocks over Williams too. Cornered by William, Kirshner calls Desmond for help in removing Jack's head so that he may live. Kirshner manages to get away and drives back to the basement in Kirshner's house, where he made and removed the gorilla's head. Before Kirshner can sedate Jack, Williams comes in and stops Kirshner. Williams then calls Desmond to get over to Kirshners' house as soon as possible. Desmond arrives with a nurse and an associate who find Kirshner detached head lying on the utensil table hooked up to a heart and lung machine which has his blood constantly pumping through the plastic tubes to keep him alive for a while. Kirshner calls to Desmond and begs for him to bring him another body.The film ends with Lila, Jack and Williams driving down the highway singing Oh Happy Day. They turn to each other and smile, they got rid of Kirshner and won the day.

Tags: blaxploitation

Review:
The head of a dying white bigot (Ray Milland) is transplanted onto the body of a black convict on death row (Rosey Grier).*.
The head of a white bigoted doctor (sadly Ray Milland) is attached to the body of a wrongly convicted black man (Rosey Grier) on Death Row. Unfortunately, Grier's head is still attached.
It escapes from a hospital and tries to clear Grier's name while Milland's head tries to take control of the body.Totally ridiculous AIP movie which bears a more than passing resemblance to 1971's "Incredible Two-Headed Transplant".
With the exception of Milland the acting is lousy and the script has howlers that you just can't believe (ex: when Grier's girlfriend first sees him with Milland's head she says, "Honey, I know you don't like answering questions, but HOW did this happen?").
I've seen movies far worse than this offering about a white bigot's head transplanted to a soul brother's body.
Yes, every scene with the "creature" either looks like Rosey Grier with a plastic head on him or Ray Milland uncomfortably close for close-ups.
The chase scene of 14 police cars chasing the two headed man on a motor bike(which last over 15 minutes) is the centerpiece of the film and sets the mood, pace, and credibility of the film.
Everything is here: a no-talent Football star actor (Rosey Grier), Pre-"Smokey and the Bandit" car chases, motorcycles, blaxploitation cliches galore, cheap monsters, no budget, beyond-bad dialogue, a director who thought he was moving up and out of the porno industry, and, of course, the great Ray Milland, star of the incomparable 1970's classic "Frogs".
Classic scenes: Convicted convict Grier comes out of anesthesia and expresses suprise and dismay at finding Ray Milland's head attached to his body.
Grier: "What did you guys do to me?" Milland, sounding petulent: "We transplanted my head onto your body--now shut up!"Grier and Milland (the two heads on Rosey's body, remember) show up at Grier's girlfriend's apartment in search of refuge from the cops: Grier: (noticing his gal's shock at seeing his 2-headed condition) "Don't worry baby, I won't hurt you." Girlfriend (looking unsure): "You get into more s***."The whole film is like this.
Ray Milland (yes, the same Ray Milland who won a Best Actor Oscar for his excellent turn in 1945's THE LOST WEEKEND) is a brilliant-but-racist brain surgeon who is dying, but has perfected a way to live on through head-transplants.
Someone out there decides to teach him a lesson by placing his bigoted noggin on the body of a black convict (former professional football star Rosey Grier).
Try not to laugh watching Grier running around or riding on a motorcycle with a ridiculous-looking fake dummy-head planted on his shoulders.Not to be confused with THE INCREDIBLE TWO HEADED TRANSPLANT (1971) or Andy Milligan's THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS (1972).Score: 5 out of 10 (Though a MUST for camp aficionados!).
This movie pairs Ray Milland as a bigoted doctor who is dying of cancer who has his head transplanted on to the body of wrongly confused death row inmate Rosey Grier.
And, like every great work of art, "The Thing With Two Heads" helps us understand our human condition and question our role in the universe.How could The Academy have overlooked Rosey Grier's performance in this film?
In fact as I gave my friend the plot of the movie I began to laugh as I explained it.I only saw this movie once and for it to stick with me as being a riot for 33 years speaks volumes.I say too bad more movies that the whole family can watch together can't say as much.Rosie Grier and Ray Milland were a great team in this flick, check it out.
But how to find another compatible body for Dr. Kirshner?The Trash "The Thing with Two Heads" is a stupid, racist, cheesy but also very funny dark comedy.
It is a movie that was created, most likely, when some filmmaker friends got drunk one night and started throwing the most absurd ideas they could conjure out on the table.To many, seeing a Hollywood legend (and legitimately great actor) like Ray Milland "reduced" to starring in schlock like this, X-THE MAN WITH X-RAY EYES and FROGS in his later years must be sad, but I don't agree.
I can picture him sitting with his agent and saying, "Hey, I won my Oscar, I'm getting older, I might as well have some fun." While Milland and "Rosey" Grier are far from Abbott & Costello or even Martin & Lewis, the two have a certain odd chemistry that works well, especially since their characters are supposed to be from completely different backgrounds.
Grier is no actor, but that actually works in Milland's favor as virtually his entire performance is from the neck up.The movie does work as a bizarre allegory for racial relations but mostly it works as a goof.
It barrels along at a break-neck pace with subplots involving everything from a two-headed gorilla escaping and going on a rampage to or our hero(s) infiltrating a BMX bike race while being chased by what appears to be the entire LA police department.If you're looking for logic or intelligence keep looking.
If you're looking for a silly good time, THE THING WITH TWO HEADS will do the trick admirably!.
The con, Jack Moss, is also innocent of the crime he's on death row for and intends to use the additional 30 days to prove this, regardless of the fact there's the cranky head of an old racist scientist breathing down his ear.
It's interesting to see how the rich white bigot(Miland) reacts when he learns his head was transplanted onto the body of a black man (Grier).
The heads must "co-exist" on the body until Miland's head adapts and gains control.I guess you can say Transplant Hysteria was all the rage in the 70's and 80's (Max Headroom).If you are a fan of "B cinema", you may like this, but it's not a B-Movie at it's best..
Less straightforward than one might expect for a tale about a racist surgeon whose head is transplanted onto an African American man's body, the vast majority of 'The Thing With Two Heads' is actually played straight (not as a comedy), nor does the surgeon gradually overcome his prejudices as one might expect.
As mentioned, the comedy angle does not take off until rather late in the piece (around halfway in) and it is furthermore a good thirty minutes before the transplant takes place with the film going into glorious detail regarding its head grafting pseudoscience and how host bodies need to learn to accept newly transplanted heads before the original heads can be removed and so on.
It is really only as the comedy angle starts to warm up that the film loses its way with prolonged racing and chase scenes when the better moments are the ones in which the Thing interacts with others, including the African American's girlfriend, curious if he has two of anything else (!).
The Thing With Two Heads is one of those drive-in fodder camp films that is spectacularly bad it ought to be seen and seen again for the sheer scope of audacity the producers had in making this.
So that might not matter with gorillas, but when Milland is hours from death they have to grab the first body available.Which turns out to be Roosevelt Grier on death row and who also says he's innocent.
Nevertheless he's going to take this second chance to prove he's innocent.Most hilariously bad scene in the film is Grier and Milland stealing a motocross bike and wrecking a race and demolishing 14 police cars in the process.
Marshall is really enjoying Milland's predicament, so much so he's agreed to help Grier prove he's innocent.The Thing With Two Heads has to be seen to be believed..
In THE THING WITH TWO HEADS, Ray Milland (X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES, FROGS) is Maxwell Kirshner, the irascible, bigoted head of the Kirshner Transplant Foundation.
First of all, the two men, Ray Milland and Rosey Grier, look like they are sleeping in the same bed and got stuck.
A vehemently racist surgeon- dying from an inoperable heart condition- hires a black doctor as his predecessor...not knowing he was black.When he finds out, he tries to fire the doctor, but the doctor insists on fulfilling his contractual obligations.The dying surgeon wants to prolong his life, by transplanting his head, onto someone else's body- so that his genius can live on.The plan is to get someone from death row to agree to the procedure instead of being executed.And, in some sort of case of divine irony, the only volunteer is a black inmate- on death row for a crime he claims he did not commit.His time is about up...and he wants to use the extra time to prove his innocence.Now, you have a racist white guy's head on a black dude's body...with the plan being to, eventually, cut the black dude's head off, so that the white guy can have his body.The white doctors don't feel qualified to do the job, so they turn to the black doctor for help with the final procedure (ie getting a black dude to cut a black dude's head off a black dude's body so a racist white guy can have it...).But before they have a chance to, the black dude (who still has the most control over his body) escapes- taking the black doctor hostage in the process.Now they are on the lam...with both the black dude and racist white guy's head trying to convince the doctor to amputate the other.As you can tell, this is the blaxploitation version of The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant from the year before.
Particularly in the last bit when the white actor takes control of the body and is driving/walking around.Before that, there's a humorously long dirtbike vs cop cars chase scene in which they crash 14 cop cars (though it seems like a lot more).And the ending all goes down very abruptly.It would have been nice if they had wrapped up the whole he was innocent angle.
But it get's the idea across pretty clearly in an almost light-hearted way.But you are happy to see him get f*cked over in the end.A fun little film of the it's so bad it's good kind.5.5 out of 10..
Almost camp with an anti racism message and a police car chase sequence that reminds you of those Hal Needham/Burt Reynolds films of the 1970s.The early scenes has a remarkable performance by a two headed gorilla.
A 7 time Oscar winner (4 more than Daniel Day Lewis!)However the film features more than just future Oscar talent as it also stars former Best Actor Oscar winner and no stranger to schlock films, Ray Milland as a brilliant surgeon now affected by arthritis and cancer with just days to live.Milland is also a racist and in order to save his live with experimental surgery they transplant his head on the body of a convict on death row.Unsurprisingly Milland is not too happy with the result.
It fails as horror as it's too laughable.It maybe works as a social commentary but it needed zipping up a bit and cut down in length.It sort of meanders and gets a bit dull, even with the prolonged chase sequences.Some of the effects are very good although when both Milland and Rosey Grier try to be together then you can guess one is behind the other.It is campy but the film should had been more of a hoot..
Exactly halfway through the movie the "Thing" wakes up and escapes from the transplant center.As far as I can tell, the black guy didn't know what was going to be done to him and the white guy didn't know they were going to use a black guy, yet neither is surprised at what has happened.
Ray Milland and Rosie Grier on the motorcycle is the funniest scene ever in a movie.
If you only see one really bad, entertaining movie the year make it "The Thing With Two Heads"..
Should be required viewing along with Airplane, Buffalo 66, Anchorman, Napoleon Dynamite, Team America World Police, Sideways, Bad Santa, Windy City Heat, Zoolander, Kingpin, Best In Show, Meet The Parents, Office Space, Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me, This Is Spinal Tap, Raising Arizona, Dr. Strangelove, Kentucy Fried Movie, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Life Of Brian, Meaning Of Life, Vacation, Used Cars, After Hours, Caddyshack, Ed Wood, The Rutles All You Need Is Cash, The Jerk, Fargo, The Big Lebowski, There's Something About Mary, And Now for Something Completely Different, Fletch, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, Hot Shots, Hot Shots Part Deux, Scary Movie 3, Heaven Can Wait, American Psycho, Sixteen Candles, Pee Wees Big Adventure, Top Secret, A Fish Called Wanda, The Naked Gun, Naked Gun 33 1/3, The King Of Comedy, Crumb, The Man With Two Brains, Real Life, High Anxiety, Pink Panther, A Shot In The Dark, Pink Panther Strikes Again, Return Of The Pink Panther, Revenge of the Pink Panther, Bad News Bears, Young Frankenstein, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Blazing Saddles, The Producers, Tommy Boy, The World According To Garp, The Survivors, The Big Lebowski, Dirty Work, Beavis And Butt-Head Do America, Better Off Dead, Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Accidental Tourist, Young Doctors In Love, Bottle Rocket, Johnny Dangerously, Wallace & Gromit in The Wrong Trousers, Wallace & Gromit in A Close Shave, & Kung Pow: Enter the Fist..
The movie starts with a rich doctor named Kirshner (Milland) who's developed a way to transplant the head of another creature, in this case an ape on to another's body and it survives.
The word goes out, and a death row inmate decides to "donate his body to medical science." Jack (Grier) claims he's innocent, but is brought over and put under for the procedure.
In a chase that never seems to end Jack finally gets away from the cops and the brothers decide to get rid of the white mans head.
One thing leads to another and Kirshner ends up with his head ready to be transplanted again while Jack, Marshal, and his girl take off for freedom.
The effects are so bad you can't help but laugh, especially at Milland's head on Grier's body throughout much of the film as they run, ride and elude police.
And the story, Racist white guy gets his head put on black man's body?
Milland's a good actor so I'm surprised he did some of these low budget yarns, somewhat like "Frogs." The rest of the cast did their job, Grier was amusing nothing bad to say just a silly film all together.
This film is bundled on a DVD with THE INCREDIBLE 2-HEADED TRANSPLANT and while they are both very bad, perhaps THE THING WITH TWO HEADS is a bit worse--though this is like comparing cholera to cancer--they're both quite nasty!!
And, sadly, it really does none of these genres very well.It begins with a rich racist doctor (Ray Milland) announcing that he's dying and only has a couple weeks to live.
It begins with Grier/Milland AND a Black doctor jumping on the back of a mountain bike in a race.
But, if you are a bad movie fan, you actually might like it because it's THAT bad--so bad you will laugh along with it--particularly since the film never really takes itself very seriously..
The millionaire's health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate; a large black man from the local prison's death row.
By 1972, roles were proving more difficult to come by, which may explain his involvement in this much derided film.Much of the unease this film seems to have caused revolves around Kirshner's blatant racism – and the fact that his experiments result in his head being transplanted onto the body of a black man.
The film then seems not to know what to do with the twosome, so a car chase ensues, Dukes of Hazzard-style, which goes on far, far too long.In the end, as Moss says, 'he's got to go', and the spare head is removed and Kirshner is last found abandoned, still plugged into the life-sustaining machinery, pleading with his minions to 'find me another body  please.'.
Well now, Milland 27 years after taking home the gold for that classic can be escorted out with the "Boobie Prize" with the audience singing "Somebody Stole His Head!" And it ends up on the body of football legend Rosey Grier!
Just because an educated doctor can do miracles with an ape with two heads (a sight that has to be seen to be believed!) doesn't mean that he's a good guy, and in this case, Milland is despicable.
Grier is an innocent black man on death row who agrees to donate his body to science rather than be electrocuted, and wakes up after the operation to find him snuggling cheek to cheek next to this racist jerk.
A rich but racist man is dying and hatches an elaborate scheme for transplanting his head onto another man's body.His health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man from death row....Total garbage from beginning to end, but one cannot help but love a good car crash movie.
Especially when it features two actors who are out of their comfort zone for more or less the whole duration of the movie.This is blaxploitation/Grindhouse at it's finest, and to top the whole thing off, we get the most hilarious police chase ever seen, a man riding a scrambler with a plastic head on his shoulders, a joy to behold.It's a wonder that any of these actors managed to keep a straight face when making this.
White racist's head transplanted on to black convict's shoulder - say no more.