Rare Exports

Plot synopsis:
At the top of a large hill, an excavation team at the behest of an American has begun to dig deep into its core. When the excavation chief makes a startling discovery of sawdust deep within the mountain, the elder American financing the dig is ecstatic. He requests that the men keep excavating, but also demands that they uphold certain rules that are printed on some cards he gives. The excavation chief laughs at them (which include the caveats "no smoking" and "no cursing"), but the American angrily demands that he is dead-serious that the rules are to be followed.Nearby, two Finnish boys named Pietari (Onni Tommila) and Jusso (Ilmari Järvenpää) are spying on the men. After watching them get back to the excavation, they head back through a hole in a fence down from the mountain that they have cut open. As it is almost Christmas, Pietari turns to talk about Santa Claus, when Jusso explains that Santa doesn't exist. This soon causes Pietari to do some research on his own, and looking through numerous books, finds that ancient legends of Santa Claus paint him as an evil entity that punishes naughty children in sometimes evil ways (some illustrations show a horned figure whipping children, or dunking them in a boiling cauldron).As Christmas approaches, Pietari keeps watch outside his window. One morning, he awakes to see footprints on the shed roof near his second-story window. Certain that they were not caused by his father Rauno (Jorma Tommila), he assumes it must have been Santa, possibly coming to get him.Later on the 23rd of December, Pietari and Rauno go to a round-up area to meet several other villagers who are planning to capture and kill the nearby reindeer. Preparing a pen with electrified fencing, the villagers are shocked when at the appointed hour, only 2 reindeer show up. Pietari, Jusso, their fathers and a third man ride off in the general direction where the reindeer come from, and find them: all laid dead near the fenxing surrounding the nearby mountains. Rauno finds the hole in the fence that Pietari and Jusso cut (though Jusso whispers to Pietari not to say a word about what they did), and assumes this is the work of the persons who have been reported to be working on the nearby mountain range, and that this whole caused nearby wolves to come through and feast on the herd.With their village's livelihood at stake, the men head up to the mountain to demand remunerations for what happened, but find the entire area deserted, along with a gigantic crater in the center of the mountain.The group then goes to Rauno and Pietari's place, where in his room, Pietari shows Jusso an excavation image he found in the deserted shed on the hill. Pietari tells of how an old tribe according to his books, captured Santa years ago, and in order to keep him from getting loose, froze him in the local waters, and then buried him under the mountain that was being excavated. Naturally, Jusso claims that Pietari is overreacting.The next day, Pietari goes outside, and notices that his father's wolf trap has been tripped. The two go to check it out, but upon seeing a bloody hand, Rauno ushers the boy back into the house and calls his friend Piiparinen. Piiparinen comes, and he and Rauno drag the corpse to Rauno's shed. Fearful to have a dead body on their hands, Rauno first thought is to carve it up and get rid of it, but the body of the old man starts to breathe. He is also found to have a coat on, containing a wallet and an American passport in it. As they decide what to do, Rauno catches Pietari spying on them, and rushes out to see Pietari running down the road. Giving chase in his truck, Rauno notices as the local Sheriff picks up Pietari, and continues on his way. Rauno follows close behind, and makes his way to a Jusso's father's place. Jusso's father claims that someone stole all the sacks for his potatoes (though strangely, just left all the potatoes there). The Sheriff also claims that people have been reporting things like ovens and heaters stolen during the night.Pietari goes into the nearby house to talk to Jusso, but instead, finds a straw figure in his bed. Pietari takes it and shows the men, but they just assume that Jusso has run off to do mischief.Pietari then has Jusso's father come back to their house with him, since he knows English. They go into the shed and find that Piiparinen has been attacked by the old man, who is now curled near some lights for warmth. Jusso's father tries to speak English, but the old man doesn't respond. Meanwhile, Pietari has gone back into the house, and called the families of other kids he knows...only to find that their kids are missing too!When Pietari goes into the shed and claims that the old man is Santa Claus, the adults (naturally) don't believe him. When the old man attempts to come at Pietari, the older men chain him up, but are then surprised when a walkie-talkie in the old man's coat begins to squawk. As they listen, the voice on the walkie-talkie claims that he is coming to get Santa Claus, and wants to know if he is ready. Hearing this, the men then arrange for a drop-off point at a nearby small airport.Dressing the old man in Piiparinen's Santa suit, they head to the airport, and the American who was running the excavation appears, arriving in a helicopter. The men demand payment of $85,000 (what they were sure to make from the killing and sale of the reindeer herd), but the American examines the old man, and explains to the men that they are in error: they have not caught Santa Claus, but one of his 'helpers.'A sound nearby is heard as the helicopter pilot is dragged away and killed, and as the men look about, the lights go out, and numerous old men with long white beards appear, coming out of the shadows. When Rauno looks for Pietari, the boy leads them to a nearby hanger. After barricading the doors, they soon come face-to-face with a strange sight. In the center of the hanger, is a large, ice-encased creature with two large horns. Around it are the village's children tied up in potato sacks, and numerous ovens and heaters hooked up, that appear to be melting the ice.The men are unsure what to do when Pietari manages to silence them, and come up with a plan. The 'helpers' are most likely attracted to the children. Piiparinen manages to get out of the hanger, and start up the helicopter. Flying it over a hole in the large hanger, the children are kept in the potato sacks, and lashed to a large net that pulls them out. This causes the 'helpers' to give chase.Nearby, Rauno and Jusso's father find dynamite, and rig the iced creature in order to destroy it, after being sure they have turned off the ovens and heaters.Meanwhile, Pietari has radioed to Piiparinen to fly the helicopter towards the enclosure meant for the reindeer. When they note that the fence is closed, Pietari radios that he will sacrifice himself to open the gate. Dropping to the ground, he opens the gate, and prepares for the 'helpers' to descend upon him.However, just before they do so, Rauno and Jusso's father blow up the ice-encased creature, and the 'helpers' stop, as if coming out of a trance.Having herded them all into the enclosure, Pietari has counted over 198 'helpers.' Soon, the men and Pietari find a silver lining in this.With less than a year to go, the 198 'helpers' are cleaned, groomed, and taught to act like Santa Clauses for Department stores and other festive occasions. The men then call their business venture "Rare Exports," and ship off the 'helpers' in crates to various locations (for a price, naturally).

Tags: comedy

Review: