Frühreifen-Report

Plot synopsis:
A series of morality stories told by a social welfare case worker, centering around the budding sexuality of young teens, similar in vein to the Schoolgirl Report series:(1) 13-year-old Gisela Hoffmeister (Christine von Stratowa) is home alone and enjoying a bath when family friend and architect Werner/Walter Heimbach drops by for a meeting with Gisela's mother, who is out shopping. Werner is lending a helping hand in the bathroom when Gisela's mother returns home. What should she do?(2) Bratty little Kalli /Charlie constantly interrupts his foxy older sister Anita (Judith Fritsch) while she's trying have a "meeting" behind locked doors with "the insurance man". To get rid of Kalli for a few hours, Anita and her companion both attempt to buy him off. But the lad's no fool...(3) 14-year-old Klaus/Hans is caught shoplifting and forced by Mrs. Jäger (Elke Deuringer), the manager, to sign a confession. She then uses the confession to blackmail young Klaus into having sex with her. One day she demands he do it in her own bed while her husband's away on a job -- until he comes home unannounced, and the quick-witted Mrs. Jager accuses Klaus of being a peeping Tom.(4) Two young children, Hansi and Rosi, watch their parents, Fritz and Elise (Marie Luise Lusewitz), having sex through the bedroom keyhole. When the two rascals relate what they saw to their parents over breakfast, Fritz flips out and starts slapping the little tykes around.(5) Carlo the horndog corners cute co-worker Anni Berger in the stockroom and starts groping her breasts. The impending seduction of the 15 year-old is derailed by the arrival of Mrs. Kronhuber, a crafty old woman who helps Anni get revenge on the creepy little Italian.(6) 11 year-old Birgit Seifarth's divorced mother (Marlene Rahn) wants desperately to hold on to her latest boyfriend, Walter, who has become bored with her. When she discovers that her loathsome friend enjoys beating Birgit, she finds every opportunity for him to do so. One day she comes home to find Walter sexually abusing Birgit, but after weighing her options, decides to offer her daughter to Walter in exchange for getting a little something, herself. [This disturbing vignette is cut from the English language version.](7) Edgar, a spoiled rich teen, lusts after his sexy new maid, Erna/Annette (Marisa Feldy). He eventually forces her to having sex with him -- after which she falls madly in love with the wretched boy.(8) Two naked girls (Sonja Embriz - sandy hair) hide in the woods, waiting to see if their friend Topsy (Ulrike Butz) will show up with her sex partner, since they have a bet as to whether she'll take his virginity. Topsy arrives with the nerdy 15 year-old "ball of fire", and they start going at it -- unaware that they're on top of an anthill.(9) To realize her "healthy adolescent dreams", pigtailed milkmaid Resi/Rosie Huber (Sonja Jeannine) sells herself for 20 Marks a pop, blows a shopkeeper for a dress, and eventually accumulates a sufficient nest egg to leave the farm. When the police raid an elderly playboy's estate and find the 13 year-old Resi among the other naked young things, it's off to the reformatory for our slutty little milkmaid.(10) The film concludes with the social welfare worker telling us how Gisela's mother handled the bathtub situation: Mom tiptoes back outside and rings the doorbell to give Gisela and the pedophile Werner time to clean up and "avoid a scene." She then treats her daughter as a young adult, guiding her toward a successful resolution of the awkward business.Note: Some vignettes use different character names in the German and English versions. I've tried to reflect those here.

Tags: pornographic, adult comedy

Review:
Surprisingly Moralising. This episodic film is a close relative of Wolf Hartwig's schoolgirl report movies, made by the same people, in a similar style, around similar topics. However, this one specifically focuses on the coming-of-age aspects, to an extent that it also touches on delicate issues such as paedophilia.The schoolgirl report movies had the habit of occasionally subjecting its audience to some moralising, with the basic message that today's youth was more misunderstood than depraved.  This was typically delivered in a sometimes fairly and sometimes utterly patronising style - in the former case by the reporter and voice-over, and in the latter case by the character "Dr. Bernauer" (alias G&uuml;nther Kieslich).  I always had the impression that this moralising was complete bogus, merely a gimmick to pacify censors or press.Watching this movie though made me think again because the moralising aspects suddenly take centre-stage, to an extent which surely must have annoyed the film's most likely audience - the raincoat brigade. Thus the makers apparently believed in their message after all, even if the message does not come across very convincingly.As a result, some of the episodes are a strange mixture of run-of-the-mill exploitation stuff with issues concerning good or bad parenting.  For example, in one episode Elise (Marie Luise Lusewitz) has Sunday morning sex with her husband, unaware that her young children are already awake and watching them through the bedroom's keyhole; her hubby finds the subsequent inquisition by the kids regarding the technical details of this weird wrestling match too hard to take and reacts in a way that gives the commentator ample opportunity for more moralising criticism.But other episodes are just bizarre.  One episode of rather dubious taste sees a mother (type: loser, white trash) accidentally discovering that spanking her (approximately 11 year old) daughter appears to re-awaken the waning sexual interest of her boyfriend in her - and she exploits that observation like a free Viagra prescription.  When the mother later discovers that his sexual interest extends to the daughter as well she blackmails him into marrying herself.. Unofficial "Schulmädchenreport" entry, quality-wise on par. "Frühreifen-Report" or "14 and Under" or "Early Awakening Report" can be seen as a half-entry to the famous German "Schulmädchen" film series. The director is Ernst Hofbauer and the writer is "Günther Heller" and fittingly both worked on many "School Girl" films. The focus here is on even younger girls than in these other films. And quality-wise, it is approximately on par with the films I already mentioned, maybe slightly better even. Yes the message the film is trying to send is pretty ridiculous once again as always, but there are quotes that actually make sense, for example the question on why we want young people to be smarter at an early age, be able to learn languages at an earlier age, but not accept their sexuality at an earlier age. Of course, you don't see very young children naked in here. All the actresses are considerably older than the characters they portray, at least when they have nude scenes. A bad example of the message I already mentioned is at the very end. The way the conflict is solved between the girl and her mother (about her older sex friend) has really nothing to do with reality and feels fake and rushed in to quickly end the movie on a happy end. But it has absolutely nothing to with realism or convincing story-telling. As a whole, you can check this film out if you like the Schulmädchen films. It's probably unlikely you have not seen any of these and consider seeing this one. But all in all, I definitely five this one a negative verdict. Yes some of the chicks are hot and it's definitely a better watch if you are horny, but completely aside the erotic component, this film has almost nothing to offer. Thumbs down.