Miss March

Plot synopsis:
The movie beings with Eugene Pratt (Zach Cregger) and Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore) as little kids. Tucker wants to go and see Eugene's brother's rare baseball collection so they go inside Eugene's brother's closet and steal the box. Inside, they also find a Playboy magazine. Eugene is disgusted by the sight but Tucker is fascinated and curious, asking questions like "Where do they pee out of?" Tucker leaves the room with the magazine. Three weeks later, Tucker is checking out the ass of another girl and making sexual remarks like a teenage pervert while Eugene looks on in disgust.Fast forward about eight years. Eugene and Tucker are 18 years old and about to graduate. Little has changed though as Tucker continually checks out girls and makes perverted remarks while Eugene is still disgusted and tells Tucker to cut it out as he now has a girlfriend and feels uncomfortable checking out other girls. Candace walks by and Tucker makes a sexual joke about her epilepsy, causing her to beat him up.Eugene goes to speak at an assembly with his girlfriend Cindi Whitehall (Raquel Alessi) while Tucker watches in the crowd. They inform the middle school kids listening that they are abstinent and they are trying to encourage everyone to be abstinent to prevent the spread of STDs. Eugene tells them about his brother who had sex too early and got an STD as a result and then shows them a picture of it, horrifying the kids.Later that night, Eugene climbs up a tree and sits outside Cindi's window and proclaims his love for her. He then suggests they go to a party after prom to have fun. Cindi casually asks if this means that they are finally going to have sex but Eugene firmly states no, saying that he does not want the same thing that happened to his brother to happen to him. Cindi looks disappointed but agrees. Eugene then realizes his mistake and calls her and promises her that they will have sex at the party.As Eugene is getting ready for prom, a limo drives up, courtesy of Tucker. Inside the limo are Horsedick.mpeg (That's the character's name) and his two ladies. Eugene is upset at this, preferring a nice and quiet environment. When Eugene goes to pick up Cindi, her parents look suspiciously at the limo (especially when a naked girl pops out of the roof) but they let the two go.After the prom, the group all heads over to the party. It is a typical after prom party as people are getting drunk, beating each other up, and making out all over the place. Cindi tells Eugene that she will go get the key to the master bedroom and to meet her upstairs in five minutes. As she leaves, Eugene begins to get really nervous. Tucker decides to solve that by getting him totally drunk. Eugene gets really drunk and then shouts that he is going to have sex, only he takes the wrong door and ends up falling down the stairs. A toolbox, followed by a bookshelf, fall on him and he blacks out.Fast forward four years later. Eugene wakes up to Tucker hitting him with a baseball bat. Eugene is furious but Tucker is ecstatic, stating that the baseball bat trick work and he's awake. Eugene is confused so Tucker explains. When Eugene fell down the stairs, he blacked out and fell into a coma for four years. No one expected him to wake up. Eugene then asks why only Tucker has waited for him and demands to know where everyone else is. Tucker states that his family moved away because they thought he was dead while his girlfriend Cindi went off to college and that Tucker lost contact with her. An angry Eugene tries to get out of bed but he falls to the ground and shits himself. The doctor rushes in and explains Eugene has to be careful because although he is healthy, he needs to give his muscles time to get used to physical activity. Eugene thanks Tucker for standing by him, but asks him to leave, saying he needs some time to sort everything out.Tucker now has a job taking photographs of families. One family comes in, and Tucker has the mom pose with her breasts sticking out as though she was a model. His boss later yells at him for this but Tucker turns a deaf ear as his new Playboy magazine has come in. Suddenly Tucker gasps and runs straight for the hospital. He shows Eugene the centerfold of his magazine. Its his girlfriend Cindi who is now Miss March. Eugene is shocked that Cindi would do something like this but Tucker shouts that this is perfect. He tells Eugene that there is the annual Playboy party coming up on Saturday. The two can go the party, Tucker can get laid, and Eugene can profess his undying love for Cindi. The party is on Saturday and today is Thursday, so Tucker tells Eugene he has three days to learn how to walk properly again and learn how to control his bowel movements (he still cant stop himself from shitting). Unfortunately, their plan is cut short when Tucker bursts into the hospital and kidnaps Eugene. On their way out, they run into Tucker's girlfriend Candace (the one he had made fun of earlier in the movie because of her epilepsy) who has blood all over her face and screams out that she wants to kill Tucker. Eugene demands to know what is going on but Tucker can't explain as he forces Eugene into the car and drives off. Unfortunately, they are also being chased by angry firemen because Candace's brother is a fireman. The firemen hose their car and throw axes at it but ultimately the two are able to escape. Tucker then tells his story.Tucker and Candace were on their thirteen month anniversary date. Candace had given Tucker the same pipe Hugh Hefner smokes. In return, Tucker gave Candace a stripper pole. He urges her to try it and do a dance for him and eventually she gets into it. She does a lap dance for him and then bends down to give him head. Tucker enjoys it and then turns on a strobe light to make it kinkier. However, the strobe light triggers Candace's epilepsy and she begins to have a seizure. Since she cant control herself, she bites down on Tucker's dick. Tucker screams loudly but cannot get her off. In desperation, he grabs a fork off the kitchen counter and stabs her with it repeatedly. Eugene is horrified at what Tucker did but Tucker shrugs it off when he hears Horsedick.mpeg on the radio. Apparently Horsedick has become extremely famous as well and still keeps in contact with Tucker. Eugene suggests that they go see Horsedick to help them get into the Playboy mansion and Tucker agrees.As they are driving, Eugene falls asleep and has a horrible nightmare of Cindi being a slut and sleeping with every single guy. Eugene suddenly wakes up, only to see Tucker snoozing. He quickly wakes up Tucker and orders Tucker to stop at a motel so they can get some rest. At the motel, Tucker lights his special pipe, only to accidentally set the whole room on fire. The firemen arrive but one of them recognizes Tucker and chases after them. Eugene and Tucker get away and continue driving.Eugene and Tucker go see Horsedick, who is glad to see them, although he constantly reminds Eugene to call him by his full name, Horsedick.mpeg. They ask for his help and he agrees and they board his bus to go to the Playboy mansion. On the bus, Eugene reveals that he is a virgin, and Horsedick is disgusted. He orders Eugene to go have sex with one of his girlfriends but Eugene refuses. Tucker quickly takes the invitation and goes to the bedroom with the girl, but the bus hits a bump and she falls out the window, much to the horror of Tucker. Meanwhile, Eugene and Horsedick are getting high and Horsedick is lamenting over his failed relationship with one girl, which is why he does not do relationships any more. He mentions that he just bangs girls now, especially all the Playboy ones. Eugene quickly asks if hes done all the Playboy girls and Horsedick smiles and says yes, including Miss March a.k.a. Cindi. Eugene is furious and slaps Horsedick, leading to them getting kicked off the bus. They are then picked up by two hot lesbians who offer them a ride but say they have to drive because they want to have sex in the backseat. Eugene and Tucker gladly agree but crash several times because they are distracted by all the lesbian sex in the backseat.Eugene and Tucker finally arrive at the Playboy mansion, but wonder how they are going to get in. They try and use the lesbians but the bouncers only let the lesbians in and throw the two out. Suddenly the firemen arrive, still looking for Tucker as Candace suggested that Tucker would come to the Playboy mansion. They crash the party, looking for Tucker. The two quickly use this as an opportunity and don firemen outfits and blend in so they can get into the party. Inside the party, Tucker tries to hit on numerous women, with no success. Suddenly the firemen see him and chase after him. Tucker runs into the lesbians and asks for their help in opening the locked door, saying that there are beds and jacuzzis are on the other side. One of the lesbian girls uses her tongue to unlock the door (very resourceful) and the three go inside and lock the door. They are now in the east wing and Tucker runs into another door and finds Hugh Hefner. Tucker is awestruck and states the Hef is his idol and that he uses all of Hefs advice to help him succeed in life. Hef then asks about that success and Tucker relents, stating that he keeps striking out with women but he doesn't know why. Hef sits him down and shows him a picture of a very ugly woman. Hef states that she was his neighbor and that he fell in love with her but she died at 18. Hef says the he'd trade all the women he has been with for one more afternoon with that girl. Tucker is shocked and asks why and Hef explains that its not about the quantity of the relationship but the quality, that there is a bunny inside all girls and that the key is finding that bunny and then holding on to that girl forever. Tucker reflects and then states that he doesn't have to stab Candace with the fork to appreciate her. Hef smiles saying that he is glad Tucker learned something but that he's calling security.Meanwhile Eugene is desperately trying to look for Cindi. He asks a bunch of people, but everyone refuses to tell him, thinking that he is a stalker. He finally sees her walking down the stairs and shouts out her name but suddenly he is grabbed from behind by a security guard. Luckily, Cindi recognizes him and rushes to the room where Eugene is being held and gives him a big hug. However Eugene is angry and humiliated and begins to rant. He asks why she left him, why she decided to pose nude for everyone, and why she decided to have sex with every guy she sees. She tries to explain but Eugene cuts her off, saying he does not want any of her excuses and asks her to think about how she feels if she was in his shoes and if she was abandoned by the one person she loves only to see her go off and pose naked for everyone. Cindi finally gets a word in, and she quietly states, "Everything I've done, I've done for you." Eugene is confused and Cindi asks him how he thinks his four years of hospital bills were paid. She then states how his family had given up on him and refused to pay his bills anymore. Cindi tried to pay his bills with part-time waitressing but she realized that it wouldn't be enough. She then tried modeling and realized that it would pay enough for his bills. She also calls the hospital every Monday to check on Eugene and Eugene realized he woke up on Wednesday and left on Thursday. Eugene is suddenly dragged out by security before either one of them can say anything more.Outside Eugene runs into Tucker, who is also being dragged out. Tucker is then snatched by the firemen and about to be executed. However Tucker screams out to Candace that she is the only one for him. He then tries to deliver a heart felt, sensitive statement professing his love for her but it comes out pretty badly as all he says is that he can put up with her seizures as long as she doesn't chew his dick off. She accepts it however and runs over and kisses him. Meanwhile, Eugene is about to do the same thing to Cindi until Horsedick.mpeg comes over, wanting revenge for Eugene slapping him and shitting on his bus. However Cindi comes running out and then tells everyone that she didn't sleep with Horsedick and that Horsedick tried to seduce her but that he doesn't even have a dick. Horsedick tries to laugh this off until his friends realize they've never actually seen him have sex. They pull off his pants and they see that he has no dick. Horsedick is humiliated and runs off.Eugene goes up to Cindi and apologizes for everything, saying that he still loves her. She says she loves him too and kisses him. They go back inside and she tells him to meet her upstairs in five minutes. Tucker points out that Eugene's first time will be in the Playboy mansion with Miss March. He congratulates him by giving him a drink. He then says that Eugene needs to be ready and should get really drunk. Eugene agrees and downs another shot (uh-oh déjà vu of what happened at the first party perhaps?) as the movie ends.After the credits, the doctor is explaining to his fellow doctors that he has learned that the best way to get someone out of a coma is to hit them with a baseball bat. He hits the patient once, twice, three times, but the patient doesn't respond. Finally after the fourth time it works and the patient gets up. It's the girl from Horsedick's bus, the one who fell out the window while she was seducing Tucker. She screams out, "I hate you Tucker Cleigh" as the scene ends. [D-Man2010]

Tags: absurd, revenge, humor, satire, violence

Review:
They take a cross country trip to the Playboy mansion to win her back.The biggest problem is that the two leads who also co-wrote and co-directed this movie are completely lacking in big screen charisma.
While I'll admit that the movie tended to lean towards gross and raunchy humor at times (especially the sex scenes, the "flasher" scenes, and the lesbian car driver characters) and that it didn't seem to be fit for all tastes or aiming for being a classic, I still enjoyed the movie and thought it was truly hilarious.
Its just what they do, and to be honest, not many could do it better.Yes, this film may not deserve a reputation for anything other than just another Teen movie, but in my books its darn good, and more than anything else, it made me feel a lot happier inside.
Is that a bad thing?Basically, if you are someone who is going to watch this movie without being able to handle sick, crude jokes, then why review it?
Eugene Bell (Zach Cregger) and Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore) have been best friends since they were children.
the story line for this would be giving it more than it deserves.Simply put this is one of those movies that you watch because its kind of like a car accident, you know you shouldn't be looking but you can't look away.
It looked mildly funny and starred The Whitest Kids U Know's Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore.
I know that some people may find it funny and that is fine if you think that way, but in my opinion this was just a complete miss in the comedy genre.
That anybody in Hollywood in charge of writing the cheques for something like this could read the script and think "yeah, this deserves a budget of $XXXX!!!" makes me fear for the future of moviedom.In the interest of fairness (what little this piece of trash deserves), I gave it a two instead of a one because I did chuckle--not a genuine LOL, but a guffaw--at least once in the movie and perhaps as many of three times.
Which answers the question that I often ask when I watch movies like "Dumb and Dumber" and "Wedding Crashers," which is, "If they can't stand each other, why are they even friends?"The movie is oozing originality, which most critics have decided to overlook when they heard the words "two boys" and "road trip." The typical sex comedy usually makes the protagonist the straight man, and his nutty friend tends to have all the bad luck.
It has enough "aww" moments to take your girlfriend or boyfriend to, and enough buddy-buddy moments to take your best friend to as well.I hope after reading this, movie-goers will give the film a chance, and ignore all the thoughtless, inaccurate reviews that completely bash it..
That is, it makes sure, using plenty of noticeable effort, to suck out all the possible fun and humor of pop culture references, physical gags, et cetera--Miss March is like some dead, strange thing, a type of indecipherable, cancerous lump that started out by meeting my already-low expectations and going only down from there.
Miss March is not merely bad, it's sprawling, multi-layered and complex in its boring, plain awfulness, something so fascinatingly stale that it's like a labyrinth of stupidity.It begins as some casual fluff, children playing inside the cleanest, cutest lil' house in the suburb--but it then downgrades with the two boys finding a Playboy magazine.
I don't know why they didn't add Timmy and other guys to the casting/scripting of this movie, but I'm sure hoping they will if they should ever create another one.There were some very good laughs, but overall it felt kinda like 90's movie with Tom and Jerry like jokes(Which doesn't have to be a bad thing when well executed).Also they were going WAY too much for the simple Hollywood recipe and moral story.Whitest Kids You Know rocks 100% :P I sure can't wait to see new stuff from them....maybe my hopes were just too high for this one....
It is crude and sexist, the main characters are absolutely unlikeable, it has several jokes that involve feces, there are homicidal firemen trying to run the main characters' car off the road even though they only have a beef with one of the two occupants - oh, and they can whip up firemen in OTHER states to do the same thing (seriously WHAT?).The protagonist's friend is the most reprehensible person I've ever seen in a movie that wasn't portrayed as a villain.
I've been looking forward to seeing this film for a while, as I know the creators from Whitest Kids You Know, which is one of the best and funniest sketch comedies on at the moment, it is seriously brilliant and off the wall but not in an 'attempting to be python again' kind of way coming into miss march was a bit of a downer, its a film thats more commercially acceptable, but really its just another twist on the 'road trip' genre, it has pretty interesting jokes but nothing really new Definitely worth a watch, but road trip, or American pie have done the same thing so much better, but really, check out whitest kids you know, same guys but absolutely brilliant.
This is likely one of Robinson's worst roles in a movie.Directing/Cinematography/Technical: 4* - After around 30 minutes or so, the film goes haywire and begins to have very little structure.
Too bad the new life it takes on isn't anything but sub-par comedy material.Entertainment Value: 5* - It is slightly entertaining, but that is overshadowed by the fact that the movie has no structure and second rate acting/directing.
the jokes were great, the two lead characters were funny as hell, they reminded me of the characters from basketball, and the story was easy to follow, finally there was a lot of fluff on show for the lads to drool over, they end up in the playboy mansion ;)7.5 recommended..
Its a good rental and I hope Zach and Trevor get to make a whitest kids movie because I know it would be hilarious.
Virgin guy in coma wakes up after 4 years to discover his girlfriend for whom he was saving himself is Playboy's Miss March..
Despite the gross, sex and cruel scenes I would say that this movie clearly has a lot of good laughs.
If you are looking to watch a movie with sex jokes and shocking situations Miss March is clearly the King in the castle of its genre!
If you don't agree then you either don't understand the humor or need to loosen up a lot.In the spirit of other classic sex movies like Animal House and American Pie, it's best to watch Miss March with a few buddies after a lot of beers.
His best buddy, the goofy Tucker Cleigh (nicely played by Trevor Moore), decides to spring Eugene from the hospital where he's undergoing physical therapy and drive across country to the Playboy Mansion to help the recently awakened young man get a second chance with his girl."Miss March," co-written/directed by Cregger and Moore, is another one of those seemingly limitless sophomoric raunch-fests that have been flooding the cineplexes ever since "Animal House" hit the fan back in the late 1970s.
But, at the same time, it was absolutely hilarious.I'm a huge fan of The Whitest Kids U'Know, and was excited to see this movie because of Zach and Trevor writing, directing, and starring in it.
Those who disagreed with the basis of Trevor and Zack's program "The Whitest Kids U Know" and criticized the show are not going to like this film.
If you look at the movie as poorly written with "nothing more" than cheap laughs you are not the person this film was made for.
As far as "Tucker" goes, they very well meant to put the child like personality into Trevor Moore's character in order to reach the younger and/or more darkly humored audience..
Whitest Kids You Know is the comedy troupe modeled after Kids in The Hall that brings you Miss March but instead of being comedic genius it winds up falling flatly into the cheap beer college brand of humor of dick jokes, dorky plot development, one dimensional characters and boring scenes.
The main complaint I had with this movie is that although it has a lot of nudity, it never shows the goods of Miss March, which was a big disappointment.
Also the lesbians that pick them up were funny too.My favorite scene is on the party bus when Tucker is in the back with that girl, she opens the window, and sort of just hops out the window and Tucker is standing there with this priceless look on his face.FINAL VERDICT: A good pick for those that like crude humor..
If you like late night comedies then give this movie a try, it is sure to have you laughing out loud..
miss march, playboy, eugene, tucker, virginal, cindi.
Upon awakening, he finds out that much has changed and his once virginal high school sweetheart, Cindi is now in the centerfold of the March edition of Playboy magazine.Eugene and his best friend Tucker set out to win back Cindi but get into all sorts of hilarious situations along the way.This film, although comedic, is an uplifting tale of finding true love in the most unlikely place or people.
And before miss march, I saw only one truly great, and my favorite, comedy - The Girl Next Door, which not only made me laugh, but was also very smart, visually good, and great story too.
Miss march does not have good story, its simple, most of the laugh you gonna get is more like dialogs along with situation humor, but it's very, very good humor.The Trevor guy, is mazing at what he says and does :) One of my fav comedy actor, and the thing that bugs me the most is that Hollywood rather go with very known actors for comedy instead of the ones that are good at it.
Another good actor would be - Rob Corddry :) he, I believe so, never plays the main character, but more like background to other characters and he's extremely good at it :) I thing right now he's the best comedy actor out there.But now back to miss march, watch it, and just enjoy the dialogs, and the situation humor.
This isn't a smart or witty comedy, but what it does offer is some cheap laughs and a fun time, just make sure to set your brain to off.The main complaint I had with this movie is that although it has a lot of nudity, it never shows the goods of Miss March, which was a big disappointment.
The story is about a guy named Eugene who awakens from a 4 year coma to find out that the love of his life has become a magazine star model, so him and his idiot friend travel to Hollywood in order to win her back.
There are some characters that get annoying after a while like Tucker (Eugene's friend), he was just way too annoying and seemed always drunk and high.
The female characters were also horrid, Tucker's girlfriend Candace was beyond horrible, bad acting and her character was a real b*tch.Honestly this movie could have been so much better, the writers just missed with their script!.
It makes last years Sex Drive look like a family movie.
Which makes me wonder: Why would you see a raunchy teen sex comedy that takes place at the playboy mansion, and was written, directed by, and starring two of the Whitest Kids U'know if you are offended by vulgar humor?
Besides, you kinda gotta give some the two lead actors Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore for both writing, both directing and producing this whole shenanigan even though it probably doesn't take a genius to come up with such a ridiculous tale.It's a teen sex comedy that centers around two best friends, Eugene (Cregger) who is like Jimbo and Tucker (Moore) who is like Stiffler.
Really there's not much originality in this movie, it even has a road trip, a bunch of people that don't look like high school kids still playing high school roles and of course, tons and tons of attractive, drop-dead gorgeous, hot lookin' girls of all kinds.
So these two guys who are behind the hilarious show The Whitest Kids U Know are only doing their contribution to the society the only way they know how and what I enjoy even more is that it's one of the few immature comedy movies out there that's actually consistently funny from beginning to the very end.
I liked some American pie series and so far many comedy movies aped that including some sexy scenes and loads of comedy but failed the reason why American pie worked because it was in late 90s and world was not into that kind of films however the soft-core films were around from 70s & some of the greatest are from the 90s i can say it because i am a fan of the genre but this movie miss march got me tricked i saw the unrated version of the film on DVD but it was way awful,longer & have zero chemistry between the characters plus the comedy scenes try too hard to make someone laugh it just doesn't work.The two main lead guys are stupid specially tucker these guys are trying hard to be playboys but fail hard,the only guy i liked was Dot Mpeg who sings some of the funniest songs ever i laughed hard at the music video where he is dancing with women and lyrics of the song are extremely vulgar but hilarious at same time.The Plot:Eugene & Tucker goes to a cross country trip to find a playboy mansion where Eugene;s former love Cindi Whitehall a.k.a miss march is making an appearance.This is the basic story which drags for no reason Eugene was 4 years in come after the prom night accident when he was about to be intimate with Cindy now he is not sure what will happen Cindi is now a big model he also thinks that she maybe a prostitute now,i have seen plenty of worst films but this take the Oscar award,and who can forget those lesbian chicks in the car sex scene,the script was missing the spark & the flavor of the true comic timing.The Cast:everyone is lame here doing overacting specially Trevor Moore trying to ape Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura,but this lady Raquel Alessi is wasted here she got the looks & can also act wonder why she signed this movie up.Overall Miss March 2009 should be missed but if you like to see Raquel Alessi do watch this at your own risk my rating is 3/10.Skipp It. Why Do They Still Make Such Terrible Movies?.
And I laughed a lot more in Van Wilder 3 (which I found not to be that good) than I did in this excuse for a movie.Eugene Bell (Zach Cregger) is a high school student who believes that one has to abstain from sex till they find their soul-mate.
People call this a "bad" movie, but I feel that if a genre succeeds in its purpose (in the case of comedy = laughs), it is good.
Anyone who has watched Moore and Cregger's "Whitest Kids U Know" sketches know that the two end many of their skits by breaking the fourth wall, saying something like "we didn't know how to end this skit." Miss March is much more about the laughs and gags than the plot.
Tucker is a sex-crazed guy who never gets laid, and he's also trying to help Eugene after waking up from his coma, but ends up messing up his life.
Trevor is trying to help Eugene get back his high-school girlfriend, who hence the title of the movie, has become Playboy's Miss March centerfold.
So if you're willing to leave your brain at the door for 90 minutes, and just have some good old dumb fun at the movies, then it is urgent that you go see Miss March..
Cregger's Eugene is laid up in the hospital because, after prom, before he was about to lose his virginity to his girlfriend, he allows the asinine Tucker, (directing cohort Moore), to get him drunk, causing him to fall down the stairs and have all sorts of things fall on his head.
The only likable character is our lead played by Zach Cregger, and he is made to look like a dork.Eugene and Tucker are 18 years old high school students and best friends, about to graduate.
I had high hopes because when I started watching the movie I got a couple of chuckles, but as soon as Tucker woke Eugene out of his coma with a bat, I think that was more of a metaphor for what the director wanted to do to his audience, I lost all respect for this movie.
Raquel Alessi is Miss March herself, the old high school girlfriend of Cregger's Eugene.
Craig Robinson is ridiculous but sometimes admittedly funny as horsedick.MPEG (yes that's his name) a rapper who hits it big while Eugene is in his coma.This is how Miss March gets made.
A bunch of young stupid stoners (in this case none other than our two poor stars Zach Cregger, and Trevor Moore) who watch stupid comedies like Harold and Kumar, National Lampoons anything, etc.
I just watched this movie and I thought it was incredibly funny and was a lot better than I had expected.
Eugene discovers that his high school sweetheart, Cindi(Raquel Alessi)is Playboy bunny, Miss March, and Tucker thinks it's a good idea to drive cross country to Hef's Los Angeles' Playboy Mansion to confront her.
When Eugene awakens from a four year coma he discovers that his high school girlfriend is the March centerfold in Playboy.