Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire
Tags: psychedelic, satire

Plot synopsis:
Billy the Kid is a young, up-and-coming snooker player. His manager, T.O. (The One), a compulsive gambler, falls into debt with psychopathic loanshark the Wednesday Man, who offers to cancel T.O's debt if he can arrange a 17-frame grudge snooker match between Billy and the reigning world champion Maxwell Randall (popularly known as the Green Baize Vampire).
To ensure that both players will agree to the match, T.O hires a journalist, Miss Sullivan, to stir up trouble between them. She interviews Billy and the Vampire separately, asks them leading questions intended to elicit angry responses and provoke enmity, then prints the results. The match is set.
Unknown to T.O., the Wednesday Man has hidden motives regarding the match. The sinister loanshark has engineered a clause in the game's legal documentation to the effect that the loser will agree to never play professional snooker again. Though the Vampire is close to retirement, Billy is young, and such a clause—if he loses—would greatly disadvantage him. T.O. only agrees when the Wednesday Man suggests that the Vampire will "not be at his best"; a clear insinuation that he will be bribed, or threatened. It is only later that T.O. discovers that this is a lie and that the Wednesday Man is plotting with the Vampire, hates both him and Billy, and wishes to see them suffer.
The match goes very badly for Billy, but when T.O. finally confesses, during a break, of his underhand dealings with the Wednesday Man (and the Vampire himself) he manages to pull himself together and eventually win the match.

Review: I've never gone back to comment on a film for a second time before.
However, having finally managed to see BTK & the GBV on the big screen (never in a million years did I think I'd get that opportunity) I just had to say a few more words.I long ago lost count of how often I've seen this film but I was amazed at how much detail is lost when viewing it on a TV screen.
I didn't mention him in my first review but Stephen Singleton did a brilliant job as editor and it's not surprising to find that he's been such a fixture in the work of various members of the production team.When the National Film Theatre announced that they were doing a 'Focus on Alan Clarke' season, I didn't think for one moment that his most obscure movie would be included in the line-up.
As one of the twenty or so people in that cinema, I sat there with a big grin on my face from beginning to end.
I just couldn't believe my luck.This really is surreal film making at its very best and a fine testimony to the brilliance of the late Alan Clarke..
I've been wanting to see this movie for years, and just caught a very rare screening at the National Film Theatre.
Whatever about that, those of us who made it had a good time.
This is one of the strangest and most entertaining British films, certainly of the Eighties, and probably of the entire twentieth century.
You may be reminded of other movies (I thought of Ken Russell's wild set designs, and also Eraserhead) but there really is nothing to compare it to...
Phil Daniels is as good as ever, but I was especially impressed by Bruce Payne (a new name to me) who does a great job with the least defined role in the movie, 'T.O.', Billy's manager, the weak link in the chain, the craven gambling addict whose need puts Billy in danger of losing his career (but whose eye for the main chance is the reason he has a career at all...) The songs are kind of a mixed bag, bit when they're good (as they are through all of the outlandishly gripping final snooker game) they're much better than 'Tommy', for instance, and Phil Daniel's final stream-of-consciousness number, foreseeing his bright but banal future, wouldn't sound out of place on a Blur CD....
It looks unlikely that this is ever going to come out on video let alone DVD, but if any freakish chance allows you the opportunity to see it, then do.
The plot is simple enough: Maxwell Randall (the Green Baize Vampire) is six times world snooker champion and Billy Kid is the cocky young upstart looking to steal his crown.
(The One), Billy's wide boy manager, the Wednesday Man, to whom T.O. owes a large gambling debt, and Miss Sullivan, a trouble making journalist, and there you have it (apart from two sets of hangers on who make up the chorus).
Basically, Maxwell wants to set up a grudge match (the loser will never play professional snooker again), the Wednesday Man tricks T.O. into accepting the challenge by assuring him that Maxwell will not be "at his best", and Billy finds that he has been set up to lose.What makes this peculiar film work is the stark, to-the-point direction of Alan Clarke (responsible for such hard hitting productions as "Scum" and "The Firm") the rock/opera influenced music of the highly respected composer George Fenton ("The Madness of King George", "Cry Freedom", "Gandhi" etc.) and the clever scripting and original lyrics of Trevor Preston.
Take into account three wonderfully tongue-in-cheek central performances from Phil Daniels (Billy), Alun Armstrong (Maxwell) and Bruce Payne (T.O.) and you have the ingredients for what I am quite happy to admit is my all time favourite film.
There are those who may say that Clarke, Fenton, Daniels, Armstrong and Payne must have taken leave of their senses to agree to do such a downright weird project in the first place (I have a feeling that at least one of the above might even agree with those detractors) but I can't see anything wrong with a musical about snooker that includes references to Bela Lugosi and arcade games, has characters tangoing about and shooting snooker balls into pockets with the help of a revolver and basically, sends itself up with obvious glee.I'd be the first to admit that the three lead actors have all done a great deal more admirable work than this.
I've seen Alun Armstrong in countless stage productions and he never fails to impress.
Bruce Payne was nothing short of breathtaking in Steven Berkoff's "Greek" and Phil Daniels as Alex in the RSC's "A Clockwork Orange" is still one of the most outstanding performances I've ever seen from any actor, on any stage, anywhere.
However, I will always remain particularly fond of the off-the-wall characters that the three brought to life in this wonderful film and I don't care what anyone else says, I think it's just great.If you haven't already seen "Billy the Kid & the Green Baize Vampire" you'll be extremely lucky if you ever do.
Zenith Productions sold the rights (or whatever it is they do) some time ago and, search as I may, I've been unable to locate it.
I'm just grateful that I had the forethought to tape it when Channel Four showed it all those years ago and only hope that my VCR never gets hungry and chews it up!My enthusiasm for this film probably does no more than give it a one woman cult following but if there are any more odd little "BTK..." fans out there, please add your comments; it'd be comforting to know that I'm not alone..
How utterly amazing to discover other fans of this iconic musical - OK, maybe a little OTT, but nonetheless, a worthy description.
I drifted off to sleep that night with all these bizarre images floating through my head and for many years, hoped I would once again be able to watch this odd little film.
Lady luck clearly didn't like any of us, though, did she?Thus began my quest (and a deep blossoming love of Bruce Payne, receding hairline unnoticed)but without the delights of the internet and technology not on my side, I sat in hope with fading memories of BTK, beginning to wonder if I didn't imagine the whole thing.Several years later, I forget when exactly, Channel 4 deemed to give us all a repeat performance - thank god for my Saisho VCR (it had cost me £250, earned through a long, hot summer slaving in a cafe at 15) and thereby began my plugging for this wonderful film.Years on, my copy was just about had it, particularly around 'green stamps', 'wednesday man' and 'the one' (oh how I love TO's fake cockney accent....
let's face it, he was quite posh in that Wesley Snipes movie)from constant reviewing.
The VCR did actually out-live the tape.Whenever asked that ever-popular getting-to-know-you question of 'what's your fave movie?' my reply was always the same.
No one else had ever even heard of BTK, let alone seen it.Imagine my supreme delight on checking my e-mail one day a couple of years ago, to discover an e-mail from a friend, informing me that BTK was to be shown on Film Four the following week.
With no ad breaks!!!!!To this day, I am still trying to educate the masses with the odd little home-screenings and I think we're finally getting through.
The indescribable fabulousness of the final credits track has turned me into one of those annoying people who refuses to leave the cinema until the VERY end.
Well,  I never will.And, as a final note, how tragic that when you try and explain who Phil Daniels is, the only way people know is when you tell them he did the voiceover on Blur's Parklife.
My mates laughed in my face when I mentioned a film called 'Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire'.
I showed them the IMDb listing and the laughing stopped but I've never been able to show them the film itself.
Indeed I've not seen the film for at least 15 years.
I taped it from Channel 4 in a top-loading VHS recorder.
I used to tape loads of films.
I remember its unique quirky style - its odd songs and that character that undoubtedly was a nod to Ray Readon the classic 'vampire' snooker player.Alas through the years it was taped over - no doubt with a bond movie and I've not seen it since.
But what a lovely off-beat film.
I'd love to see it again."Green stamps...." (Spooky)Cheers Phil.
I am a transplanted Brit, and I saw B.T.K. the time it aired on the brand new channel four.
I have been in America for years and even the most fiendish film fans I've met here have neither seen nor heard of this film.
At it's time of making, Snooker Tournaments were big pullers for TV audiances in the UK so it is suprising that this film didn't make it to the cult status that it might have made if repeat showings had taken place.
I made an off-air copy onto a Video-8 tape which still plays via a digital camcorder (thank you Mr Sony) though I'm not sure whether it picks up the PCM digital soundtrack.
I generally like watching any roles that Phil Daniels played, this may be zany, but it is still good.
I've got to be honest, but I've not seen this film for a good few years.
However the first time I saw it ( on a new-ish Channel 4 and about the time it was very fashionable to be able to run a list of the top snooker players of the time as well as know the juicy bits of gossip behind each name) it bewildered and amazed.
Bewildered in the sense that someone had made a Musical about Snooker and Amazed that it blimmin well worked so cool and despite not seeing it for so long I can't watch Jimmy White without seeing Phil Daniels.
Although the whole film is a blast I particularly remember the closing sequences of the tournament play-off itself specially the music track for the whole sequence (having played and rewound that umpteen times)(Yeah I recorded it, just wish I could find that tape).
I was intrigued to know how many of the community knew about this gem and pleased to find that those who do liked it.
Pity it`s not avaliable (yet) on VHS or DVD.
A strange film that didn't go far enough with the absurd..
A strange little film that never made it at all.
It deserved, perhaps, to develop something of a cult following, but this hasn't happened and the film will now, perhaps, slowly vanish from view forever.Based on a strange and sometimes bewildering snooker match, this musical was never going to make it in the US.
Well, they don't play much snooker in the States for a start but more to the point the film's two main characters are based on Ray Reardon and Jimmie White.
These names are very familiar in the UK thanks to extensive snooker coverage on the television, but totally unknown in the USA.I don't think Clarke was ever really at home directing this movie.
It just isn't really his thing - a musical about snooker.
He attempted to work in many more optical special effects but most of these were taken out in the final cut - a pity as some were so tongue in cheek that they might just have given the film a better chance of gaining a cult following.
Clarke seemed, in the end, to err on the side of caution which is, perhaps, the failing of this film..
As a long time snooker fan I'd heard whispers about this film for years and it was only recently after months of searching that I finally managed to get hold of a copy.
It's true that only Channel 4 in its early days could throw up something as bizarre as Billy the Kid and The Green Baize Vampire.
By the same token snooker was the most popular sport in Britain in the mid-80's so making a film about it and its rivalries (players, managers, fans and everything that they stood for) was perhaps less of a risk then compared to how it might now seem.As sports films go it's not bad but neither is it great.
Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about the film is that the real snooker world was throwing up its own unparalleled sporting drama at the time, be it the black ball finish in the 1985 World Championship between Dennis Taylor and Steve Davis or, more to the point, the riveting rivalry between Davis and Alex Higgins who really were like chalk and cheese.
The rivalry between Maxwell and Billy or indeed the players they are based on (Dracula look-alike Ray Reardon and new kid on the block Jimmy White) could never evoke the same passions and even then Phil Daniels and Alun Armstrong, talented as they are, are slightly unconvincing here.
Like most young upstarts Daniels (resembling Dexy's Kevin Rowland more than Jimmy White) reels off a few cocky taunts but he's far from the booze fuelled, authority-hating and downright rude figure that Higgins was.
The whole thing feels like little more than your token pre-match jibing session and it's not helped by the fact that the humour is laboured as well.
Granted, the idea of both players having completely different sets of followers and standing for completely different ideals and generations is well handled but even then a far better illustration of this would be to witness the audience reaction when Higgins and Davis crossed cues in front of 3,000 people in the 1985 Masters at the Wembley Conference Centre.
In saying all this I think it's important to appreciate how difficult an obscure project like this must have been to tackle and those who did so obviously weren't afraid of trying something different.
Furthermore even though this film ends up being something of a failure it does nevertheless contain enough flashes of brilliance to convince you that there is a really unique talent behind it all and one that has done or probably could do a lot better.
Despite being entirely studio bound and having a limited budget, the whole thing is shot with real class and looks wonderfully expensive.
I love the dimly lit snooker halls, Maxwell's creepy pad really brings those fantasy images of Reardon to life, there are a few memorable quotes and the costume department do a good job here too.
It's also worth noting that there is none of that dodgy editing, typical of sports movies, whereby a player hits a ball a mile away from the pocket and yet it miraculously manages to reach its intended target.
As for the music, well, it's a little bit uninspired and at times feels like it's fleshing out a script lacking in ideas but the film does open with an excellent jaunty sax sore, evoking shades of Francis Monkman's score for The Long Good Friday, and Billy launches his comeback near the end to the strains of a catchy little piece called 'The Fame Game'.
Alan Clarke was, of course, the man behind it all and while this is ultimately one of his less memorable moments it was nonetheless an interesting little venture/ indulgence..
I too loved this film, originally done as part of the Film Four franchise I believe.
But after I'd seen it once, it sank without trace and seriously was beginning to believe after 13 years that I'd dreamed it all.
I loved the absurd *idea* of a musical about snooker, I loved the songs, I loved Don Henderson's Wednesday Man..
marvellous film.
Like most of the other comments on this film, mine is not going to be a 'review'.
People wanting to know what BTK is 'about' won't get much from the next few paragraphs.
Rather, this is a personal tribute - a trip down memory lane and a celebration of a film that meant a lot to me in its time.Because Yep. I'm another one!
I was a teenage snooker addict of the 80s, greedily watching every shot broadcast (and so many were in those days) who couldn't believe my luck when this film came out.
And I remember sitting up bleary-eyed to watch it on Channel 4 that late night sometime in 1986 or 87.
I too taped it on my family's old VHS video recorder....
Well that video has long gone - but believe it or not I still have that audio tape....
The lyrics and sounds are seared into my memory, so many times did listen to it back then!) And yes, how fantastic it is to come on here and see so many good friends talking of their similar experience.
Perhaps it's best that it wasn't submerged in an internet community as films are today.
It's been a long time to wait.
But this board has proved that, to the small number of us who saw it in the mid 80s, this film will always remain a truly unforgettable little gem, with some of the most outrageously delicious dialogue I've ever heard: "This location is not capricious." Superb!
(At last I can bin my beta-max tape.)I tried a few years ago to put together a stage version of BTK&GBV but it was quite some task trying to work out who held the performance rights.
Obviously I was disheartened not get any further with the project but worse still is that the film print seemed to have disappeared as well.
Thank goodness the DVD has now appeared.The cast is an interesting selection of talent, mostly seen on British TV rather than the movies.
Never the less, an highly original musical - performed with GUSTO!