Cooties
Tags: violence, satire

Plot synopsis:
In the township of Ft. Chicken, Illinois, a fourth grade student at Ft. Chicken Elementary, Shelly Linker (Sunny May Allison), consumes a tainted mutant black-dotted chicken nugget. Elsewhere, wannabe horror writer Clint Hadson (Elijah Wood) substitutes at Ft. Chicken Elementary, where he reunites with his former high school crush, Lucy McCormick, (Alison Pill), but discovers she is dating Wade Johnson (Rainn Wilson), the PE teacher.
During class, Shelly, who had been experiencing numerous symptoms, brutally attacks her classmate, Patriot (Cooper Roth) after he tugs on one of her pigtails only to have it torn out of her scalp. She bites his cheek, infecting him with the virus; she also claws Clint, but he appears to show no symptoms. Though she tries to escape the school ground before she fully turns, Shelly turns feral and passes the virus to Dink (Miles Elliot), another bully, who spreads the virus throughout the playground by scraching the rest of the children, resulting in the other children becoming infected and attacking the school staff; Mr. Pederson, Miss Nash, Mrs. Gordon, Nurse Rhonda, Vice Principal Simms and Mr. Henderson are all killed by the children. The few surviving staff members, consisting of Clint, Lucy, Wade, Tracy Lacey (Jack McBrayer), Rebbekah Halverson (Nasim Pedrad), Doug (Leigh Whannell), and Mrs. Birk (Tammie Baird), hide in the faculty lounge but are attacked by Patriot who tackles Mrs. Birk into a cupboard and mauls her to death (Tracy, apparently unaware of her real name, screams "Who is that lady?!" when this happens).
After escaping with an uninfected student, Calvin which they find him in the library studying for his test, the staff barricade themselves in the music room, but are discovered by Shelly. A police officer (Matt Jones) arrives at the scene to calm down the children, not realizing that they are beyond help, but has two fingers bitten off and is then mauled by Shelly as she escapes the playground and hides in his car. Wade notices Clint has been infected by Shelly and quarantines him and they see that Clint is severely vomiting , but Doug deduces that the virus doesn't affect him like it does the children. The staff decide to wait until the parents arrive to pick up the children, but this plan fails when Racer Dopkins, son of the local PTA president, infects his baby brother and the zombified baby attacks and kills his oblivious mother. They manage to rescue another child, Tamra (Morgan Lily) by pulling on Tracey on the leg to escape the zombified kids, but discover she has also been infected.
The staff are attacked by the children again, and Wade kills Dink by beating him to death with a fire extinguisher. Doug analyzes his brain, which has turned black and rotten due to decomposition, and realizes that the virus is only dangerous to the prepubescent (not going through puberty), which is why Clint and Tamra didn't turn feral as they had passed that stage. The staff and uninfected children unite with the janitor Mr. Hitachi (Peter Kwong), but Calvin passes out due to diabetic shock. The group opts to send Clint through the ventilation system to gather a chocolate bar for Calvin, Wade's truck keys, and their cellphones. Lucy joins Clint and the two confess their feelings to each other while trapped in the library. Wade also apologizes for his behavior over a walky-talky. Though they discover the cellphones to have been destroyed by Patriot, they manage to secure a chocolate bar and revive Calvin. The group then reunites after Clint knocks out several children with drugs and, utilizing various tools in the school as weapons, battles the children on the playground and manages to escape. However, Mr. Hitachi and Wade are seemingly killed by the children.
After killing a stowaway Patriot by crushing him against a tree, the group arrive in the nearby town of Danville, only to discover it has been similarly overrun by the infected children. The group realizes that the infection has spread across the United States, with schools burning to the ground and reports of violence and destruction caused by children, and they are attacked by a horde of infected children. They barricade themselves inside a funhouse and manage to retrieve a chicken nugget contaminated with the virus, which Doug will use to possibly make a vaccination for the virus, but discover that the infected children, including Shelly, are inside the funhouse. However, Wade and Mr. Hitachi arrive and rescue the group, setting the infected children on fire with gasoline. They then escape in crossing guard Rick's (Jorge Garcia) van, driving out of the town to "someplace kids don't wanna go". They are briefly pursued by a flaming Shelly, but she falls down and burns to death.
In the post-credits scene, the janitor is shown sitting down, wielding a machete and finishes the frog and caterpillar story.
Alternate Ending
After killing Patriot, they realize they are out of gas. They venture on foot and eventually find a deserted campsite. They enjoy themselves. Clint throws his novel in the fire and tells Lucy that he is not a writer and says he is actually a teacher, living in Fort Chicken. Clint has a strong feeling of dread and tells the others to join him. They find the leader's dead body, and the other infected children find them. Then you see infected Boy Scouts, led by Shelly, looking even worse than ever; her eyes are hollow black with more blisters. It's unknown what happened to everyone after the encounter.
Carnival music begins playing as three managers from an amusement park, a theater and a family fun center, respectively, get the chicken nugget boxes out of a truck carrying them. Because this ending was never shown, it is possible that the nuggets were also infected with the virus and is responsible for the outbreak.

Review: How cool is that?Though the idea that the chicken nuggets they feed you in public school are actually made of chicken is totally unrealistic, the metaphor of a girl who eats these nuggets spreading a zombie apocalypse like the cooties is brilliant I've seen my share of Zombie movies and I never seen this particular premise.
Rainn Wilson was Boss with a capital B in this film, and added to the 1980s homage of horror and action I was vibing on all over this film.The best part is that the movie is rated R which means nothing gets held back as these teachers beat the crap out of their undead students.Cooties is an action comedy horror movie that keeps your interest for all 90mins, never a dull moment and just so much fun from beginning to end.
It wasn't a bad movie by any means but it did let me down a little bit.First off the main thing that killed my buzz with this was how unlikable Elijah Wood's character was, I get that they were doing this on purpose but the scenes with him in them just made me get more and more irritated with his character.
I think the main thing that really kept this movie from being great is that the Horror concept of it kind of gets put on the back burner to the comedy in too many scenes.
And this one was entertaining, just like Bloodsucking bastards I saw yesterday.I enjoyed the movie because of its unusual setting - elementary school and kids as zombies.
On the positive side, Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Alison Pill, Jack McBrayer, Nasim Pedrad and Jorge García bring good performances in their roles, and co-directors Jonathan Millot and Cary Murnion find the adequate balance to make us laugh during scenes which would seems tasteless in a more serious movie.
Excellently gross start and plot setup fades into more of a pure action, scream and gore/gross-out horror film, though there's enough ongoing comedy to keep it amusing.While it may be too much for Hobbit fans to handle, the little half-ling actor pulls off his roll well.
It seemed like a sure-fire recipe to make a really wild and entertaining twist on the whole zombie genre with maybe some subtle social commentary on the education system, how we treat/view children, etc.But then the movie started and everything about it was just so flat and terrible.
Worst of all, the comedy has no real edge or bite to it at all.So to sum it up--"Cooties" is a movie with a great premise and setting, but tedious storytelling, unmemorable characters, and, most disappointing of all, attempts at humor and comedy that miss the mark so badly, you come to fear the next joke more than the next zombie attack..
If COOTIES was the last movie I saw before I died and came back as a flesh-eating reanimated corpse, I would be OK with that.One of my many reasons for wanting to see this film, aside from its crazy concept and the fact that I'm a huge zombie fan, is that it's co-written by Leigh Whannell, one of the guys who gave us those "Insidious" movies.
And Leigh himself is one of the stars of this film, playing a rather nerdy but also very clueless teacher who figures out how the infection works.Directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, the story is set in an elementary school, Elijah Wood plays a temp who wants to be a novelist, Alison Pill plays the fellow teacher Elijah's character is crushing on, but she's dating Rainn Wilson's gym teacher character who is essentially this story's alpha male.Suddenly all hell breaks loose, a mysterious virus hits the place, and kids become flesh eating creatures hunting down their teachers.
Cooties overall feels like it's handling an unfinished script of a potential cult classic.After the opening credits that reveals the source of this virus, the movie spends most of the time establishing its characters.
While there is still some nice thrills, inspired horror movie moments and even sense of humor having these awkward unlikable comedy movie characters stuck in this darker genre, the film never becomes satisfying.
"Cooties" marks yet another rare exception of the "most horror-comedies suck" rule, joining the ranks of other such classics like "Shaun of the Dead" and "Zombieland." Why all three are zombie-themed is beyond me, but I suppose the natural tension of sneaking through and surviving a zombie infestation makes for some exasperated laughs.Elijah Wood plays a 30-something elementary school teacher who we like because his character, apart from being a typical improbable hero, genuinely enjoys teaching and working with his students.
As you see in plot,it's a zombie movie.In a school there was a child who's eating fort chicken and got sick,then she turns into zombie and eating a boy in class.so the virus spread to all over the town and also there were teachers who were trying to survive from the infected children.So the movie was quiet and just escaping from the zombie children and it worked.Basically,zombie movies like there were always survivors who were trying to escape like that in this movie also while the children were chasing the teachers they were escaping from them and kind of entertaining between the conversations.Finally,the movie was quite interesting and little bit comedy in there.So just give it a shot because it's ZOMBIE Movie.Completely Worth watch it....
The teacher and aspirant writer Clint Hadson (Elijah Wood) returns from New York to the house of his mother in Ft. Chicken, Illinois, to write a horror novel and work as substitute in the local elementary school.
However during the last fifteen minutes or so the film picked up and the finale of the film sets itself up for a sequel film.Elijah Wood is a great favorite of mine with films like Forever Young (1992), Radio Flyer (1992), The Adventures Of Huck Finn(1993) and The Good Son(1993), Flipper (1996), Deep Impact and The Faculty (both 1998).Leigh Whannell the writer of some of the most horror and survival horror films like Insidious(3 films), Dead Silence and Saw(7 films in total), makes a starring role in the film.
In comedy/horror movie Cooties, the term is used to describe a very real and very virulent virus stemming from a batch of tainted chicken nuggets, infecting only pre-pubescent children, turning them into bloodthirsty savages.When the virus breaks out in the small town of Fort Chicken, Illinois, a group of teachers find themselves trapped in their school, surrounded by flesh-eating brats; in order to survive, they must fight their natural instincts and kick some serious kiddie butt.Children aside, Cooties doesn't offer very much in terms of originality, employing the generic 'siege/fight for survival/escape' set-up used by countless other similar zombie/infected films.
It does, however, deliver a likable collection of kooky characters, lots of absurd comedy (the majority of which works very well), and plenty of entertaining gore (can't beat the sight of a little girl using intestines as a skipping rope), all the while breaking that still rather taboo subject, violence against children, the kids getting crushed, sliced, beaten, kicked and set on fire.Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood heads up the cast as supply teacher Clint, proving that he has a great sense of humour and is willing to take a risk; solid support comes from Rainn Wilson as insecure gym teacher Wade, Leigh Whannell (the movie's writer) as weird science teacher Doug, Alison Pill as Lucy, the love interest for both Clint and Wade, and Peter Kwong as karate janitor Mr. Hitachi.Cooties does suffer from a rushed ending that leaves the viewer wondering whether they might have blacked out and missed a chunk of the action, but on the whole this is a very enjoyable addition to the comedy zombie genre..
Again, the whole cooties zombie thing isn't that funny after a while, once the film descends into a stereotypical zombie movie, but some of the fight sequences and the portrayal of the infected kids is quite cool, making for some degree of excitement in the story.On the whole, the concept is hugely bizarre, and I don't really think it works out the way it's intended to.
However, it's the complete insanity of the premise that does keep this movie alive throughout.Ultimately, looking at this as a stupid comedy more than a zombie flick, there is some good fun to be had, even though it may not be the most exhilarating or pleasant thing to watch..
The audience thinks, "okay, this is what I was expecting, I mean, elementary school kids are about to attack their teachers, so this better be quirky." The characters are unique and odd, but not quite archetypes of the stereotypes you remember from your childhood, which is what you were hoping.The children are almost too bratty and mean in a crass way, lacking any charm and are perhaps deliberately unlikable so audience members can palate their inevitable bloody demise.
The film shifts focus to a free for all odd-ball gore session and an unnecessary romantic sub-plot that should have been gutted from the final cut.It's not even that Cooties is too serious, it just lacks the harmonious balance between horror and comedy and its characters are completely missing that special spark that engages audience members to films of this caliber.
Once considered horror films zombie movies have transitioned to comedy, perhaps originally in the recent era thanks to Pegg and Frost's brilliant 'Sean of the Dead.' However Cooties fails as both a horror movie and as a horror comedy.Elijah Wood looks very much like Frodo Baggins after a haircut and the rest of the cast are nobodies who don't lend much to an already thin plot line.
Cooties was directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion and stars Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, and Alison Pill.When a struggling horror author substitutes at a local elementary school, a mysterious virus breaks out among the students.
The virus turns the children into blood thirsty monsters, trapping all the teachers inside the school.This film falls under the risky Horror Comedy genre.
However when the story tried to develop the character, it was in a deep way that didn't suit this movie at all.Rainn Wilson played Wade: the school's gym teacher.
Cooties is a interesting movie i mean you got black goo going inside a chicken nugget infecting every kid that hasn't gone through puberty and they end up getting what is called cooties and thats where the invasion start this movie is not great its not good its not okay its not bad its not terrible its not awful and its not painful to watch the humor in the
are funny enjoyble silly and creepy at the same time the plot is about zombie kids trying to kill their teachers in a school
is not like the another zombie movies that i watch but the this movie is interesting i will give this movie a 5/10 because the plot is interesting the cast are funny the soundtrack are amazing and the humor in this movie are not that funny to me cooties is not a great movie but it's not bad either because the whole thing in the movie are interesting.
Working as a relief teacher at his old primary school proves unexpectedly challenging for an aspiring writer when a viral disease turns the students into zombie-like creatures in this amusing horror- comedy.
While there is a lot of interest in the notion of adults having to kill children to survive, 'Cooties' is actually at its best in the moments before it turns into a full-blown horror film.
The movie starts out well enough as it establishes some characters, but it quickly delves into the action and the stuff that us zombie aficionados crave and hunger for - pardon the pun.Storywise, then I only knew that it was about some kind of virus infecting children in a school, but aside from that then I had no idea of what to expect from directors Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion.
Be warned, you will most probably be looking away from the screen heaving, however it's a title that definitely sets up the film to a strong start and explains the plague origin quickly.With what seems to be Elijah Wood continuing a streak of horror films, he stars in Cooties as Clint, a pretentious would-be novelist who returns home to Fort Chicken (I know, right?) from New York City to take on a much more terrifying role - a substitute teacher at his old school.
Romero's 'Night of the Living Dead', however Cooties is taken place in a world where only children are susceptible to the outbreak, in a clever and amusing spin on the imaginary playground legend.The initial idea of setting a zombie film in a elementary school is incredibly ballsy, as it inevitably means that at some point you are going to be shown a bunch of kids being killed, or violently killing others, however the material never really comes across as tasteless, as the film has a outrageous sense of humour filled with slapstick gore that adds relief.
The child zombies are delightfully horrific, delivering ghoulish grins and guttural snarls as they are shown in montages of mayhem playing with intestines for jump rope and decapitated heads for ball games, which can be surprisingly downright hilarious in some scenes.The film runs at a brisk and easy 90 minutes long and although it mostly hits all the right notes in the humour and gore departments, the same tired plot of characters trying to make an escape from near death has been played so much, it runs a little thin at times, especially during the middle act.
Cooties is a horror/action comedy that takes place in a town where a virus has transformed only the kids into zombie-like killing machines and it is up to a bunch of teachers including; Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, and Leigh Whannell, to survive the onslaught of those little devils.
I really liked Elijah Wood in this film, i thought he played a very likable character, was funny, and you are always rooting for this guy to come out on top.
For a movie about a vicious zombie like virus spread through the consumption of chicken nuggets, Cooties is certainly a lot more enjoyable than it really has a right to be thanks to some fun and self-parodying acting turns and a pace that suggests the directors of this violent horror/comedy knew their welcome would only last so long.Co-written by Saw co-creator and Australian ex-pat Leigh Whannell (who also stars as socially awkward teacher Doug) and directed by first time feature length filmmakers Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, Cooties rushes by to a barely past 80 minute run time that keeps the grizzly bits of dark comedy and blood splattered nugget lead carnage coming thick and fast, so much so that we can barely even notice all of the films glaring flaws, like a stodgy script, hamming it up acting and non-plausible character decisions.These flaws however are all to be expected from such a tale the revels in its B grade nature and it's great sometimes for films like Cooties to just accept what they are and not try and turn that around into something serious or something filled with social commentary.
Led by the ever young looking Elijah Wood (who even gets a few Lord of the Rings jokes thrown his way) the cast's main ensemble of Wood, Alison Pill and Rainn Wilson all have a blast and dispatch cootie ridden children with glee as the film flaunts along at a rollicking pace that culminates in the scariest indoor playground your're likely to stumble across.Set up for a sequel that may or may not ever eventuate on the back of poor financial returns, Cooties is a lot of fun when watched in the right state of mind even if it's premise is more intriguing than its final product but Cooties is a horror/comedy that's not afraid to spill the claret and poke fun at itself.The perfect pizza and film night candidate for those lazy rainy nights, Cooties is one recent times dumbest yet enjoyable tales, despite all its cinematic failings.3 imaginary giraffe co-passengers out of 5.
An horror movie set in an elementary school with a cast of comedians (and Elijah Wood) fighting child zombies.
The scenes are so disgusting (but so real) that you will think twice before touching one again.This low quality processed food goes of course to the kitchen of an elementary school were kids delightfully consume it; setting the base for the coming horrors.Elijah Wood plays a frustrated writer / teacher as most of the usually funny cast.
He plays Clint a struggling author who has come back to live with his mom and substitutes as a teacher at the local school.At least he has a memorable first day as a mysterious virus grips the schoolkids turning them into blood crazed monsters as the teachers are trapped inside.Cooties is supposed to be a comedy horror but it is a poorly structured film, a lot of the action is in the dark in order to save on the budget.
Arriving for work at an elementary school, a substitute teacher finds himself and the other teachers on staff trapped in the school by the children who've been turned into ravenous zombie by a food- based virus and must find a way of getting out of the school alive.For the most part this one here wasn't all that bad of a horror/comedy.
While it might be easy to dismiss this movie out of hand as just another zombie-comedy (which to a degree, it is), this one proves itself to be worth the watch.Starting strong with a great cast, Cooties stars Elijah Wood (Maniac), Rainn Wilson (Super), Alison Pill (Snowpiercer), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock), Leigh Whannell (Insidious Chapter 3), and Jorge Garcia (Lost) among the most recognizable actors, and they lot of them are a whole hell of a lot of fun.