On behalf of actualized psychics around the globe, we congratulate Senator Faircloth for his progressive policies and vision. It is increasingly clear to us that use of the Internet, by any person, eventually leads to mental degradation and random crime. Once again, however, we are dismayed at the proposed legislation's timidity.
Sexual degenerates seem a strange group to protect.
Most have been irremediably warped by exposure to the Internet's fields of psychic rupture, and electronic brain rot. We suggest amendments to this bill, criminalizing Internet access by children, schoolteachers, police officials, women below the age of 70, susceptible minorities, political leaders, authors, musicians, indeed, all but trained psychics with power to resist the Internet's seductive wiles. Its provisions for punishment of Internet access by affected groups are quite vague. We advocate a mandatory minimum period of solitary confinement, not less than fifteen years for first offenses, with escalating punishment for repeat offenders. Nonetheless, we congratulate Senator Faircloth on his courage and moral rectitude in the face of CIA obfuscation.