Friends should make themselves available for companionship and for conversation about the child. An overwhelming number of grieving family members say that in the aftermath of such a loss, many friends, in an effort perhaps to spare the family additional pain, do not talk about the child and act as though he or she didn't exist. The despair in the physical absence of children is compounded when memory of them seems gone as well. They think that causing tears is upsetting. But it is not.
Tears are very cleansing and healing.
Sending a birthday card on the child's birthday, acknowledging special anniversaries and dates all help to celebrate the child's life. Friends must understand that parents may not be in their best form on those days, Will says. So if a parent suddenly can't come to the typical Christmas dinner or show up at some event, it is not a personal thing. It is their grief. As with all other grieving family members, acknowledge the loss.