I think the official that gave you the initial response was telling you how it gets called by most officials most of the time. That is my observation as well. If the officials are doing that then they are doing their job. Without going into the other situations you raise, I just don't feel there's any excuse for officials being all over the board on something that the rules make this clear. And the choked wrestlers that I see are tomato red in seconds, never blue faced.
Wrestling is rough.
That would be the ref making the big bucks. The refs I work with know that any hold involving the neck, mouth, or nose can cause problems and so they get on it early. That sounds like a WWF definition. So is any hold that puts pressure on the nose or mouth or restricts breathing. What I do know is that an official that interpreted the rule literally would not last long in the area that I work.