You think of many answers that you don t say. If shopping seems to be too much, have your relatives or a close friend help you. Consider shopping through a catalogue. Some find it helpful to be involved in the activity of preparing a large meal. Try attending religious services at a different time or church or synagogue.
Some people fear crying in public, especially at religious services.
It is usually better not to push the tears down any time. You should be gentle with yourself and not expect too much of yourself. Worrying about crying is an additional burden. If you let go and cry, you probably will feel better. It should not ruin the day for other family members, but will provide them with the same freedom.