In earlier years, we lectured ourselves, we used our youthful energy, we avoided the feeling, we papered it over. We developed unconscious defenses against the things that hurt. Now, those things must be healed. They can be sought in a therapeutic process with a counselor. God intends the inner healing of all persons, and the Holy Spirit is precisely that spirit which leads us to find that healing.
Spiritual guidance can help.
Healing prayer can be a most wonderful and soothing part of the process of healing the inner wound. The Gospels are about healing. It is terrible, this healing. It often involves facing our own pain at a level never before faced. But it also comes only when it can come.