Doherty sees other opposition. They are afraid these programs will keep women trapped in abusive marriages. Yet Ms. Sollee defends these courses. If you learn new behaviors together and you start treating each other differently, the feelings come back. People switch partners and find there will be 10 different irreconcilable differences in the next marriage.
Second marriages have higher divorce rates than first marriages.
Another marriage educator, Sherod Miller of Littleton, Colo., teamed up with his wife, Phyllis, to develop a four-week course, Couple Communication. Certified instructors teach six skills in talking and five in listening. We do so little to learn how to live together. But unless they also teach you the process for being able to figure out things on your own, they're building in dependency. They're not empowering the couple to develop and manage their own lives together.