With a little bit more time in each paragraph he will have a good, strong paper. An additional sheet should be attached to show were he received his nonoppiniated information. There are a few very small grammatical problems located in the body paragraphs. One small problem is word usage. It can be seen by carefully reading over the paper and listening closely to what is being said.
Some sentences are a little confusing while others are very strong.
In the third and forth paragraphs the paper seems to switch tenses. It goes from past to present tense. Basically, with one careful examination you would find the small flaws and be able to easily change them to make your paper better. His one main weakness is its lack of fairness to the other side. It doesn t include any qualifiers or conditioned rebuttals in the essay.