With improvement came an increase in the number of people who watched her play. She began to experience panic attacks in front of these crowds. Analysis revealed that during childhood she was expected to exhibit herself in front of her parents and their friends by showing off her body. This experience was both exciting for her and it also instilled shame. The adulation was a reminder of her childhood experiences and it produced a feeling that these crowds knew of her past abuse.
Some athletes carry a dread of winning because it means that they are superior to others.
Superiority, for some, means greed and selfishness. We all see this amply displayed by some professional athletes. The dread of success is especially felt in female athletes, some of whom are raised to think aggression is not nice. For many children raised religiously winning implies selfish striving which is considered sinful. Occasionally a child raised in the lower class who later becomes a star with great fame and wealth has a sense of dread that they are leaving their families behind.