You struggle with a vague feeling of insubstantiality and may feel, at times, that you could suddenly vanish. You may cling to relationships in a desperate attempt to maintain a frame of reference for your own identity. Identity is a blend of enduring features and the growing collage of experience that we accumulate through life. It is virtually a trademark of BPD although it sometimes occurs in other conditions. Self-mutiliation may be a simple as superficial scratches on the skin with fingernails or a blunt instrument, or as tragic and complicated as the surgical excision of a body part.
Some injuries are visible to all while others are well hidden.
Some are inflicted with elaborate ritual, while others convey special meaning that can be diciphered by the knowledgeable observer like the heiroglyphics in an ancient tomb. These injuries are often mistaken for suicide attempts. Whether burns or cuts or penetrating wounds, these self-inflicted injuries are the products of compulsion. Like other compulsions, a buildup of tension leads to an irresistible urge, and the tension is discharged by the act. This compulsion to repeat earlier traumatic events has been recognized since Freud and may represent an unconscious attempt to create a new, happier ending to a painful memory.