The transitions between paragraphs are for the most part smooth, the sentence structures pleasingly varied. Occasionally, it even shows distinctiveness - i.e., finesse and memorability. The actual information it delivers, however, seems thin and commonplace. Its treatment and development of the subject are as yet only rudimentary. While organization is present, it is neither clear nor effective.
Sentences are frequently awkward, ambiguous, and marred by serious mechanical errors.
Evidence of careful proof-reading is scanty, or nonexistent. The whole piece, in fact, often gives the impression of having been conceived and written in haste. Mechanical errors are frequent. In short, the ideas, organization, and style fall far below what is acceptable college writing. Revising an essay will not only improve your skills, but will also probably result in a higher grade, gained from averaging grades on the original and the revision.