When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions. If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on. As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered. Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed. Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown . If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three. The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs. The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.