Often it is from an expression or sentence in the essay. If the reason for the title is not immediately clear to you, ponder the material in the essay until you understand it. Look for things that are repeated. If you find them, that's a clue that the author is emphasizing them. Sometimes the connections are subtle.
Strong language is always a clue that the author is saying something important.
Try to relate these to other things in the essay. You may not be able to do so immediately, but it's crucial that you come back to these and try to understand them. When you arrive at statements you don't understand, you are at the boundaries of your knowledge, you are confronting your ignorance. It simply means that you have the opportunity to grow in your understanding. Unless the essay is poorly written, you WILL be able to make sense of the apparent contradictions.