If the parent lets the school have all the power, the child will loose. Therefore a middle ground must be found. Do your homework Before any parent attends an IEP meeting they need to do their homework. All reports and testing that the school has done needs to be in the hands of the parents two weeks prior to the meeting. Usually the school will resist, saying that they will go over the tests at the meeting or they will not have time to get them to you before the meeting.
Teachers have very fragile egos.
Those that are very young and who have never had children truly do not understand how a parent feels. They usually feel that they know more about the child than the parent. With this being said, the parent explains, very nicely, that it is important that she read the reports and has time to digest the information, so that she will be able to ask meaningful questions at the meeting. The parent should also say that it is fine to postpone the meeting to a later time so that the respective experts can have time to finish their reports without feeling they are being rushed. The parent needs to appear to be overly solicitous.