Whitman's guarantees that chocolates are the way to her heart. Every florist in town will tell you that it's the flowers that always seal the deal. Things were so much easier back then. They wooed their lady loves with original songs or poetry, a picnic under the stars, or a full day of indentured servitude. Even the classic staple gift of Necco conversation hearts is scrambling to stay number one by updating their messages.
Truth be told, there is NO gift adequate enough for some people.
I plan on hiding in my apartment until the sappy crap is safely behind us. To go outside means to subject yourself to disgusting displays of affection. There are two compilations that always comfort me on that day. I highly recommend them both. So, now I invite you to join my friends, myself, and singles worldwide in giving this cursed holiday the finger whole-heartedly and with BOTH hands.