The ticket sales will be phenomenal, not to mention the profit that we'll make off pay per view. Aquarium of Death Whales are offensive and boring. They float around in their Vancouver Aquarium tank indignantly, acting like they'd rather be somewhere else. That attitude is exactly what's hurting our economy. I recommend that we fire the whales and get someone in there who can do the job.
Sharks are ambitious.
When they're not swallowing a piece of meat, they're looking for one. Let's give them a chance. After being demonized by the public, for so long, they'll appreciate an opportunity to perform. Many sea urchin divers have been unemployed recently due to the mismanagement of fisheries. The aquarium of death will give them a shot at a new career.