Solemn politicians greet overdressed notables at the door. BIack-veiled ladies hand out lit white tapers. Ushers hang oversize tickets like bibs around patrons' necks and stuff white silk handkerchieves down their throats to enforce silence. Curtain opens on an exact duplicate of the house and a cast identical to the audience, also gagged, ticketed and holding candles. Fidgeting in the house, fidgeting on stage.
Someone rernoves a soggy handkerchief to cough.
Everyone in the cast mimicks him. Now the rest of the audience imitates the cast. Volleys of coughs are exchanged for 15 minutes. Murmurs through the house. Cast boos and send a wave of candles into the house.