The phenomenon of conspicuous consumption is fueled by the cultural thinking error that flaunting wealth is a testimony of a person's worth. Although this may sometimes be the case, genuine generosity is not an ego display. My father was the first Native American to be ordained as an Episcopal priest on the Rosebud Reservation. His parishioners lived in 1 of the 10 poorest counties in the United States. Just as he avoided making a show of his generosity, so also the recipient did not have to fawn in obeisance.
Sharing is just what relatives do.
We were in South Africa a few years ago, just as the apartheid laws were being lifted, to speak at one of the first interracial youth worker conferences in that country. The attendees were several hundred youth professionals, and it was obvious that one of the White participants was distressed at being required to listen to a person of color speaking from a position of authority. Her racial discomfort was telegraphed by periodic, critical comments about the ideas we were sharing. The Lakota earrings I was wearing were the ones my parents had given me as I was leaving on this trip because they were terrified that I was going to a nation that had abused people of color. The conference participants were obviously deeply embarrassed by the woman's statement.