I have no desire to read and find it almost impossible to do so. I become afraid of doing anything, even getting on a bus. To be alone causes complete panic. I rush to person after person begging for help. My sleep becomes even more broken.
Tears come easily and all seems dark.
Finally I not only feel suicidal but think of ways to end my life. And all these experiences seem so irrational because I have not suffered any particular crisis. When I reveal to the psychiatrist the intensity of my thoughts of suicide, he takes action and says that I must be hospitalized. In hospital I will be compelled to take the medication that he believes will start a healing process. To avoid going into hospital, I agree to take antidepressants, first in small doses and then gradually increased to a therapeutic level.