If people saw me without my makeup, they would laugh at me. I'm so dirty now that if I washed, the drain would clog. Cats, dogs, and chickens never wash, and they are happy all the time. Prehistoric humans were happy all the time until the first soap salesman made them feel guilty. If I start washing again, my friends will think I am trying to conform to middle-class standards.
Washing is for women and children.
Washing is for people much dirtier than I am. I will wash when I find the bathroom that is exactly right for me. I only believe in things I can see, and I can't see bacteria. Children need to see that it is OK to be different. Children need to see a few bad examples.