Feuding begins with placing blame, resentment or venting hostility on your spouse. Seek to be a support and harbor for your spouse rather than becoming a storm they need to seek shelter from. Express your feelings, for your spouse has no extra energy to guess at what you might be feeling. Everyone needs love but men and women interpret love differently. Generally speaking men feel loved when they know they are respected and their sexual needs are met.
Women feel loved through tenderness and understanding.
Touching, holding, cuddling are important even though she may have little desire for sex. Fear of repeating the same excruciating pain of loss often makes a woman want to refrain from sex while in grief. Many women feel sex is wrong when their precious child has just died, whereas sex reassures men that they are loved, needed, and that their wife really cares about them. Men usually relate first sexually, then verbally. Sexual intimacy nurtures the husband's emotional needs.