In this lonely night, Jacob confronts the idea of dealing with Esau. As he looks back over his past dealings with Esau, Jacob faces the painful realization of his own imperfections. Looking honestly at oneself sometimes leaves one wounded, limping. The next day, Jacob brings his entire family with him, despite the danger, and greets Esau as his respected elder brother. The actual meeting with Esau turns out peaceful, almost anticlimactic.
Some adversaries deserve to be confronted honestly.
We must have the courage to face these, to persist with integrity and to allow them the same dignity. Israel gets his name from the moment he does this. If this lesson applies in our relations with Esau, then it applies more strongly in our relations with other Jews. No matter how deep or real our disagreements, we should refrain from intemperate rhetoric in dealing with each other. The writer is rabbi at Congregation Beth Israel in Berkeley.