If there is substance along with form, these rituals can be very powerful for the initiates. However, fewer families are actively affiliated with organized religions, leaving many teenagers with a whole lot of unchannelled angst and energy. It s a provocative consideration. If we don t want our teenagers to be at the mercy of their peers, and the values that the media bring into our homes, then we must unplug our children s Walkmans and our televisions and start sharing ourselves, our values and our experiences. There s a catch, though.
Teenagers have an unerring ability to sniff out hypocrisy.
The only way that our children will allow us to have any say over their actions is to know that their parents walk their talk. If we want our children to be responsible and mature, then we must be also. I believe that how I parent them each and every day, starting from Day One, will determine how well-equipped they will be to handle their teenage years. I believe that my job as parent is to provide them with sane boundaries and logical consequences for inappropriate or unsafe actions, to give them responsibility as they are ready for it, to admit it when I make mistakes and to shower them with my love and attention with no strings attached. The Quest for Contemporary Rites of Passage , edited by Michael Mead et al, Open Court, 1996.