Ward Tuyamutha had been born blind. He married Piukwen Yusier at age 27. Ward took the news of his ugly hag's repulsiveness rather hard. Tuyamutha explained at a press conference late yesterday. In a shocking turn of events today, the U.S. Surgeon Specific announced what many scientists had long feared.
Water causes cancer.
Over the course of the twenty years that we followed these people, roughly 78,000 of them developed some form of cancer. The studies were conducted by some of the nation's most talented scientists and engineers, mainly graduates from DeVry and Oral Roberts University. Dr. Wilby tried to combat possible skepticism that the scientists had arrived at their conclusion improperly. Although Mr. Miyagi's performance on the job had always been suspect, the latest incident sparked the actual firing. Tapes of Mr. Miyagi's conversations with an injured man provided ample evidence.