And that's assuming the best of intentions. It may not be all that easy to define the difference between BDSM and abuse, but if it's happening to you the difference is intuitively clear. This is a good starting point. The world does not owe you a submissive. Don't try to Top cats.
Submission is a gift.
Don't take it for granted. Chrome-plated assholes lose all functional relevance. The world does not owe you a Dominant. Don't try to suck up to cats. Submission is a gift, not a loan.