When we refuse to accept a transition, when the fear of what lies ahead prevents us from moving forward, we appear to stand still on life's busy road while life speeds past. Squarely face the old business and take care of unresolved feelings and needs. Relate old experiences to similar present experiences. For example, a woman who never felt appreciated by her late father visualizes her father able to express appreciation. This enables her to ask for and accept appreciation from others.
Unfinished feelings can be positive or negative.
Another man fondly remembers his eighth-grade teacher and repeatedly wishes he could tell her how much he appreciates all she taught him. While positive memories are one of life's special joys, dwelling too much in the past, or wishing we had done something differently, prevents us from fully living and loving in the present. The goal is not to discard cherished memories, but to address and resolve unfinished business. When too much unfinished business accumulates, we lose the sparkle and optimism which is every human being's birthright. On the other hand, the ability to make transitions successfully frees up precious energy for living more fully in the here and how.