Do try to be sensitive the wishes of all survivors, and let them be the final arbiters of information to be included in or omitted from the obituary. It will be necessary, in any case, to speak to as many of the immediate family has possible in order to assure accuracy and completeness of all information obtained. In addition, gathering anecdotes from family members may clue you in to aspects of the deceased about which you have no personal knowledge. Family members may tell you things not appropriate for publication, or even repetition. Do not break a trust nor publish anything that might embarrass the person were they here to read the notice.
Speed is another consideration when writing the obituary notice.
Many times, an obituary is the only method the family has to announce the funeral services. To allow for appropriate planning, the more advance notice you can give the attendees, the better. Funerals are usually planned for three to five days following the date of death. To prepare an obituary allowing two days notice for attendees, the ad will often need to be delivered to the newspaper a full day before publication. This can mean that an obituary needs to be prepared and hand delivered to a newspaper within a day following the date of death.