But too often dads who are uncomfortable with their daughters adolescent development use this conventional wisdom as an excuse. I never went through this, a dad decides. And so I can t help. The disappearing dad Research confirms that many fathers retreat emotionally and physically when their daughters enter puberty. Around the time a girl buys her first bra and indulges in her first full-scale adolescent sulk, her father tends to withdraw from her.
Studies show that fathers generally spend less time with their daughters after they enter puberty.
They talk with girls less and criticize them more. Yet girls need their fathers more than ever during adolescence. It is during these years that the culture tends to teach a girl that her appearance is her most useful attribute, that her ideas and opinions are less interesting than her jean size. A father or stepfather who stays close and supportive can help a girl fend off those harmful messages. He can affirm his daughter s femininity and her individuality by complimenting the color of her eyes, listening when she talks, and reminding her that he has high expectations for her algebra grades.