They vacillate more often between conflicting loyalties to friends and families. Some of the unusual problems siblings of children with special health needs often experience include overidentification with the sick or disabled child. They may even fantasize they were the cause of their brother or sister's illness. They wonder when they will get sick themselves, or when they get married whether their children will become ill. They might secretly wish they were the sick or disabled one, particularly if they see their brother or sister getting so much attention.
Siblings often have concerns about the future.
Perhaps foolish concerns to adults, but not to children. There is often resentment about the time and energy that go to the special needs family member. They resent that they are often asked to pick up much of the caretaking chores themselves. Daughters are sometimes asked to be surrogate mothers. They begrudge that often there is pressure to achieve, to make up for what the sick child cannot accomplish.