I grabbed her by the neck and held her against the house. There is no typical abuser, say those who study domestic violence. The problem cuts across race, religion and economic strata. Men who witness or experience violence at home as children are at higher risk than others of becoming abusers. Alcohol and drug abuse can increase the severity of violence but is not considered a cause.
Stress is also a trigger, upping the ante for domestic violence during the holidays.
Batterers have trouble identifying their feelings and expressing them clearly, says Jeff Edleson, a professor of social work and director of the Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse. They often are insecure about their ability to keep a romantic partner. They exhibit jealousy and sometimes try to isolate the victim. They tend to minimize or deny their abusive behavior. Most significant in research findings, says Edleson, is that the behavior is learned and can be unlearned.