Our personal histories and past experiences are part of who we are, and so of course they have an influence on our partnerships. But when we become a couple our new relationship should have no history, only a present and a potential future. Part of what we do in living the relationship, in fact, is to create a history for it together. It focuses them on it as separate from us, and this point of view is crucial to the health and well-being of the partnership. Intimacy Is Needed F or example, we have found that most women use the word intimacy to describe what is most important to them sexually.
Women relate it to the heart or the soul more than to the brain or the genitals.
Although when true sexual intimacy does occur, sexual passion is its by-product. This seems to be true in all areas, not just sex. When intimacy is missing, it's hard for many women to feel passionate or to be satisfied, and the more deficient in intimacy a relationship becomes, the more dispassionate and dissatisfied the woman feels. F or most men, however, the word intimacy conveys something very different. Because to them the words sexual intimacy mean intercourse.