It is hard to be sad around bendy straws, Mr. Bubble, and grandfathers who pull Starbursts out of your ear. Invite only as many guests to your birthday party as you are willing to write thank-you notes to. It's a good thing I can't, because if I could, I would put my child's entire soft body in my mouth. Whether you've got five minutes or five hours until you have to be out the door, once you're a parent, you'll always be late. You're only as happy as your least happy child.
World peace is a lofty goal, considering the diplomatic challenges of backseat peace.
Pout only for as long as you can stand playing by yourself. If someone is in a bad mood, tickling only makes it worse. Grown-ups are people who like mustard, who would for some reason rather stay at the table and talk than be excused, and who always want to stop for coffee. Sundays from 3 p.m. to bedtime last forever, as do the ten minutes your child is late, but the rest of it goes reeeeally fast. Be at peace with death.