Although people were prefacing their remarks with conversational niceties, I could feel the underlying tension. On one end of the spectrum, my luncheon partners advocated structure and control at the expense of everything else. To raise an obedient child is the most important thing. On the other end, they advocated love over structure. Having a child feel loved and secure in love is primary.
Structure plays a secondary role.
Then there were those who emphasized the sinfulness of children. According to them, if you didn t seize every opportunity to focus on getting control of the little sinners, you would lose them for sure. Still others emphasized the inherent goodness and innocence of children, feeling that they only sin when they have been first mistreated by the outside world. The tone of their voices and the expressions on their faces revealed that each saw the other side as a villain. I thought to myself.