Another reason concerns the radical and enormous changes that are required in the client's repertoire of interpersonal functioning as she moves out of abuse schemas and begins identifying and experimenting with healthier interpersonal behaviors. These changes also entail a reorganization of a sense of self, of self-esteem and of different choice points. The client in this transition is in a fragile state. Additional stressors that occur when the client enters a new job situation or a new nonabusive relationship may overwhelm the client. She may literally not know what to say, do or feel in these new situations.
Some clients report literally losing sight of what they want and who they think they are.
In this state, it easy to fall back into abusive relationships and behaviors, not because they feel good, but because they are familiar, predictable, and controllable, all of which brings relief from what is nothing less than an existential crisis. Therapists should help structure and link changing behaviors and attitudes in the client's life. Lastly, therapists and client should take set-backs in stride. All of the issues raised above require that the therapist be aware of his or her own reactions to the client in what are the beginning to middle stages of recovery work. Supervision in the difficult moments, either by a mentor or peers, is key.