Things aren't as rich as they seem. Even in families with plenty of material resources and amicable relations among all the parents and stepparents, the first family can feel disenfranchised. Though Barkauskas and his second wife have made their Vermont home constantly available to the two older children, invite them along on overseas vacations, and recently gave one a substantial sum toward a house down payment, the issue of Barkauskas' will is still a sore point. Currently, his affairs are arranged so that, if he and his wife die, the two younger children will each get more than the two older ones, who also stand to inherit from their biological mother. But right now, the younger ones are in a much more vulnerable position.
Tensions erupt over how dads divide their time among the two families, as well.
If they're a long ways off, there's frequently jealousy. Life insurance, too-lots and lots of life insurance. Berkeley professor Sonnenschein says he's not willing to give up his aspiration to travel frequently-he just brings his wife and young daughter along. Martin Carnoy is teaching his daughter how to ski, though he also notes that a common complaint among his circle of older dads is that they don't have many relatives up to the task of babysitting. So if the dads are to be addressed by advertisers, it's likely to be done obliquely, as part of a big, happy family with a whole spectrum of kids of different ages.