If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish. If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher. After the sixth day, God created Loehmann's. No one looks good in a yarmulke. The optimist sees the bagel, the pessimist sees the hole.
WASPs leave and never say good-bye.
Jews say good-bye and never leave. Wine needs to breathe, so don't rush through the kiddush. Remember, even Sandy Koufax didn't play ball on Yom Kippur. The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana. Always whisper the names of diseases.