In wake of the recent shooting near Boston, and the high incidence of civilian fatalities in American schools, churches, and workplaces, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization will be sending peacekeeping troops to the United States. Everybody s shooting everybody over there.
Troops are due early next month.
Commander in Chief Clinton is naming the bombs he s dropping on Iraq. The ruling Taliban of Afghanistan have decreed that in accordance with the rules of Islam, the burka, the veil covering a woman head to foot, is not sufficient covering to protect women from lustful gazes and bad intentions. Women appearing in public must now insert themselves into rolling tubes of cement. The fact that a woman traveling about alone is illegal is not something Mr. Ishaq wished to comment on. In an attempt to bolster attendance and keep up with the times, the New York City Ballet is performing a new version of Swan Lake that features graphic violence and lots of cleavage.