Despite its popularity, many people, even some who have attended Tantra workshops , are mystified about what Tantra really is. Furthermore, while Tantra ultimately addresses All and Everything and is intended to lead to indescribable peak experiences, most Americans are primarily interested in the sexual aspects of Tantra. In light of this discrepancy, it's most illuminating to focus on Tantra as an attitude toward life in general and toward sex in particular. I've adapted the following expression of the Tantric attitude specifically for contemporary Westerners. Sex is for bonding.
Sex is for communing with spirit and with each other and sensing our place in the whole of creation.
Sexual union, sometimes in a ritual context, is meant to bond the society, not just the mating pair, together. It becomes a divisive force only when we impose artificial limits on its expression, particularly for women, and turn sex into a scarce commodity. This is much healthier than the sex negative approach because it promotes self-acceptance, but it still does not completely heal the split between sex and spirit. Sexual loving relationships are a tool for spiritual development. We must realize that, when we join with another sexually and spiritually, we create an enduring linkage which lasts till the end of time.