When talking to children, it is effective to bend down to their level or sit at a table with them in order to make level eye contact. Adults who talk 'at' children often believe the child incapable of carrying on a conversation at an adult level. But no one, including children, likes to be talked 'at'. Kind words give your child more confidence which helps them behave better, try with more effort and ultimately experience more positive achievements. Kind words communicate respect and create an atmosphere for open communication.
Unkind words tear a child down and cut off a willingness to communicate.
I' messages are statements of personal feelings and are an effective way of letting children know how you feel about them and their behavior. You' messages make anyone they are directed at feel defensive and uncooperative. Mary's mother interrupted Mary, rudely and at great length, to scold her for going to Ann's house without permission. Mary immediately lost interest in sharing her feelings with her mother. Listening is the most important communication skill.