But it can be more than that. Our relationships need ceremonial moments, time to reflect on what we mean to each other, opportunities to affirm our desire and commitment. Such moments are treasures. While it is true that most of us don't know how to use a special occasion such as Valentine's Day, it is important that we learn. The first thing a couple must do is talk to each other about what they can realistically expect of each other on Valentine's Day.
Some people expect too much of their mate.
Others may try to do something wonderful for their partner and the relationship, but they may try too hard. A partner may make a lot of expensive elaborate plans, only to discover that the other partner did not really want to get dressed up and go to an expensive restaurant on the night before a demanding work day. Making Valentine's Day into a part of your relationship's art requires the work of both people. My friend Jean tells this Valentine story about herself and her husband, Fred. Fred is an engineer type.