Few are allowed to express their understanding of death. Very few are followed for the first critical year. Many are ignored, even undetected. Other child survivors are simply labeled Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depressed, suicidal, dissociative pathology, psychosomatic disorder, or anxiety disorder as if their reaction is a disease and not a reasonable response to an unreasonable event. Infants and toddlers are dismissed as too young for intervention.
Some families receive support for the funeral, visiting the grave, and reactions that follow.
Others are left alone with baby furniture, clothes, toys, and lost daily rituals of touching holding and listening to baby sounds. Friends, family and neighbors withdraw, not knowing what to do. Almost no intervention is provided to professionals and volunteer service providers who are affected by such a death. An exception may be a Critical Incident Debriefing in one agency, or a supervisor who can balance the employees need for empathy and protection with the need to feel competent and to continue work. Peer support is generally only a concept, not a reality.