Think success, prosperity, usefulness. You can destroy the body, but the you who suffers in mind and spirit will suffer still, and live still. You will only change your location from one state to another. You did not make yourself, you cannot unmake yourself. You can merely put yourself among the spiritual tramps who hang about the earth's borders, because they have not prepared a better place for themselves.
Suicide is cheap, vulgar and cowardly.
Because you have made a wreck of a portion of this life, do not make a wreck of the next. Mend up your broken life here, go along bravely and with sympathy and love in your heart, determined to help everybody you can, and to better your condition as soon as possible. Men have done this after fifty, and lived thirty good years to enjoy the results. Do not feel hurt by the people who slight you, or who refer to your erring past. Be sorry for them.