A dress that makes a girl look slim often makes others look 'round. True love means sleeping in the wet spot. A woman drove me to drink. I never properly thanked her. Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
Virginity is curable if caught early enough.
Taking your wife to Paris is like taking a sandwich to a banquet. I'm a sensitive person, especially my inner thighs. The best way to fill out a pink slip is with a beautiful body. A man is as good as he has to be, a woman as bad as she dares. Objects under T-shirt are larger than they appear.