Couples should make absolutely sure that the semen donor has abandoned any rights he may have, and that he has done so in writing. Again, sperm banks should take care of this, but if you have any doubts, get a qualified attorney to help you. The expense involved in preparing a waiver for the donor to sign is minimal compared to the cost of a lengthy custody dispute after the child is born. Using a donor you know can be legally risky. Sometimes everyone gets along well and your relationships work out beautifully.
Unforeseen differences can lead to long, painful court battles.
No court will intrude on your life unless someone asks it to. But if your donor demands more contact with the child than you think is right, for instance, or if you apply for food stamps or other state benefits and the social worker learns there's a known biological father, a court may be asked to assign paternity rights to the donor. Nearly every state's court system prefers to assign to each child a legal mother and a legal father, if possible. For heterosexually married women, that father is almost always her husband at the time she gives birth. But if you are legally unmarried, courts may look to the donor.