Perhaps this is the final stage for me, the leaving behind of worldly pleasure to become a patriarch of bad column writing. Sex is interference, and a waste of time when I have to supply the hungry reader with twenty five inches of humor. It comes down to priorities and evolution. Scientists believe that we became smarter when we started eating meat. We could become geniuses for four years if we were celibate.
Sexual frustration leads to creativity according to many psychologists.
By that logic, Tolstoy must have never even been in the company of women. The university must nod its head in agreement that such a popular figure such as myself would come out to condone the importance of celibacy. It could lead to higher GPAs and stronger test scores. And according to US News and World Report, he higher the test scores the better the school. Celibacy could be the university policy that vaults NYU into the top five colleges in the United States.