Another finding that was surprising had to do with the parent-child relationship. This overprotection or cushioning of children by parents seemed to interfere with the development of assertive social skills. We found that children who come from families that are stressed in some way, either economically stressed or have experienced stressful life events, struggle more in school. These children have a harder time forming a relationship with the teacher that is close. As I mentioned earlier, the teacher relationship matters in many ways.
Some families nurture children's social skills before they begin kindergarten.
They invite friends over and arrange for children to join in group play with other children. They talk to their child about what it means to be a host and how to look out for the other child's needs, which helps children learn empathy and prosocial behavior. We noticed that some parents would intervene when problems arose in play groups and would talk to their child about fairness, turn taking, sharing, resolving dilemmas through compromise and discussion. Parents also help their children when they provide experiences with negotiation and turn taking. The group size in most preschools and child care programs is small relative to many kindergarten classes.