But they must understand empowerment first. The abusive person expects that the victim take care of them. The victim is happy to oblige. When the victim inevitably fails in care taking, the abuser gets mad or resentful. Here's a quick guide to the abuser's treatment.
Some abusers are simply out for blood.
These people are probably antisocial personality disordered. Even antisocial types who really really want to turn it around - can. Once they own it, most abusive individuals are horrified by their behavior. They are not horrible people. They are hurt people who are married to their egos and have little or no clue as to who they are.