In my bunker with a periscope I observed them scraping and scrabbling through the wind-swept streets like neurotic crustacea, waiting for the End. Everyone remembered how, a few years ago, fiery balls fell out of the sky onto the Karoo, narrowly missing the sheep and doleful squeaky windmills.
Space travel is entirely disgusting.
Arriving home, in search of a cold tinny, you open the door only to be met with the horrendous sight of alien forms of life sending out their evil tendrils over the jelly and custard, the bloated kidney pie, the Bulgarian yoghurt - even the vermilion kipper you were so looking forward to nibbling. As for the appalling niff, you might as well go diving in a cesspool. Essentially, you have to live in your own poo for months on end. The fungus got up there because it was rocketed aloft in and on the sweaty bodies of astronauts. The procedures for waste elimination on orbital toilets are primitive, and no-one baths or brushes their teeth.