High self-esteem equals happy, emotionally healthy young adults. The key is the parent-child relationship. Basically, a child's inner happiness is linked to primary and secondary happiness. If a child's needs are not met, if his parents do not display love and caring, the child becomes frustrated, feels deprived, and learns to cause himself unhappiness because he links unhappiness to what his parents want for him. Secondary happiness begins in the second year and should be stable by the end of adolescence.
Secondary happiness is linked to the enjoyment of intellectual, social and physical pursuits.
The authors explain how these two types of happiness are necessary for a child to become confident and independent. Anyone raised in the 1950s and 1960s has undoubtedly struggled to become a positive, self-reliant adult. Of course, we all want to do a better job than our parents, and the Smart Love approach does make sense. Even so, this book illuminates what your child must be feeling in difficult situations and shows parents how to guide the child to making the best choice. The chapters geared to adolescent children will provide plenty of ideas of dealing with your teenaged child, including how to work on correcting inner unhappiness.