I'll set about you with a nine pound hammer, by God. Sit down, shut up, and unpick the stitching of your pillow-like minds as I stuff you with the feathers of information. Being something of a specialist in the finer intricacies of the protocol and oft having admired the devious mechanics I feel it is only right and proper to pass that wealth of information on. Right, that's enough of the tantalising foreplay, let's rip off those undergarments and get stuck in.
Sex is as sex does.
And sex will do it with anyone, even you. Mother Nature, you see, is a yoyo-knickered Jezebel who'll let you put your hand up her jumper at a bus stop if it means the fruitful propagation of the species. TO DO SEX Ok, for all you virginal innocents, I think it's only fair to give you a few pointers. If you think that a hand-job is slang for a manicure, then read on. If, however, you popped your cherry before you learnt to ride a bike then you might find some of this a little tame.