Both need help. The husband must be patient with his wife who is not providing him with the affection he is used to. He has to realize he is in competition with her for the affection she is giving to the children. The hard part for the husband is that he must show extraordinary love for his wife, and extra love means he must be willing to pay for his love. True love is willing to suffer for the one it loves.
True love is willing to suffer from the one it loves.
The wife, whose deepest desire as a woman is to love, to give herself, must learn to give and give and give. The deepest need of a woman is to love, and the deepest need of a man is to be loved. There is no substitute for man on this earth than to experience selfless love toward him. A woman must know how to encourage and support her husband, to help him over discouragement, worry, and anxiety. Catholic spouses need to rediscover the practice of selfless charity, and to do this we need to recover our Christian mentality.