Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope like hell you have enough Vaseline to get you through it. The Machine Gun Dump - You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The Sound Effect Dump - You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit.
Timing is obviously very important here.
Flush the toilet 2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem 3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor. One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. You're getting impatient.