Sometimes moving through it isn't easy for those around us. Friends and loved ones who care often argue that we must not give in to self-pity. They define self pity as sadness that is centered on yourself. Yet there's a good bit of wisdom in the comment one older widow shared. There's no good reason why you can't feel sad for you.
Women are often caregivers and as such tend to feel remorse whenever anything goes wrong.
It won't work. Yet you may need to discover that it won't work on your own. Some of this wrestling with remorse is part of the process of grief, so wrestle for a while and then let it go. Anger is another troublesome emotion. It must be acknowledged, ventilated and then turned loose.