The wounded partner should pay attention to what's happening in order to make wise decisions. Don't medicate yourself. The partner who strayed will have new rules to follow. They need to be where they're supposed to be, attend what they're supposed to attend, because they need to build that trust back. Fontana says the wounded partner may want to know every intimate detail.
Some therapists say answer the questions.
Doing so will de-mystify the relationship and ultimately help restore trust. Others, including Fontana, draw a firmer line. Some people will want to know every intimate detail. Therapists say end it and surprisingly, don't confess. Go to therapy, get your issues resolved and put the past behind you.