Michelob wants us to put a little weekend in our week. Of course, relief is spelled Rolaids. In conclusion, I'd like to say that advertising influences the way everybody lives. The cars we drive, the clothes we wear, and the food we eat are all a result of advertising. The opening paragraph has no introduction, merely the thesis divided into two sentences, and the conclusion is a gratuitous restatement of the opening.
Transitional phrases are either non-existent or uninspired.
The essay rates above a 2 because it has clear organization, adequate development, and parallel structure. Details are vivid, occasionally novel, and the point of view and tone are generally consistent, the latter being lightly ironic. Grammatically the essay is altogether sound. People of all ages, shapes, sizes, financial statuses, and interests pour, in vast numbers each year into such amusement parks as Disney World and Six Flags. Each individual has his own reason, but there are a few common to all.