Grandparents may experience all of this twice, once for the grandchild who died and then for the parents who have their own guilt, anger and pain, and who appear inconsolable. Because grandparents love their children, they often are torn between this love and the fear of loving too much, lest they then lose another grandchild or child. Grief of a previous death may return. Often, as in the multiple losses that may occur from an accident, the grandparents are grieving not only the loss of a grandchild but also the death of a child in the same tragedy. Guilt may occur because they live on, while the young ones died.
Some depression is a very real part of grief.
It may be overwhelming to bereaved grandparents who may fear that they are going crazy. Bereaved grandparents also worry about the sanity of their grieving child. Friends may burden them further by voicing their concern in this respect. If thoughts of suicide occur, professional counseling may be indicated. During grief, which lasts much longer than our society is yet able to admit, talking with those who have had the same experience is useful.