If I'm sad or upset, I'll go to bed and there'll be a note next to my pillow. I'm worried that I'm making her grow up too fast. I'm trying to slow that down. Benedict believes parents can help their children avoid the devastating effects of divorce. And, she cautions people against blanket conclusions.
Some kids do just great.
I think it has to with how well their parents do. When parents are angry with each other and continue to be angry for years, the children don't do as well. Parents who respect each other and work hard to care for the children stand a better chance of avoiding long-term problems, Benedict says. Even children who have gone away to college suffer when their parents, perhaps empty-nesters, choose to divorce, says Benedict, who saw her children go through that experience. This is when people are beginning to have their first serious relationship.