The fighting never stops and the stress of his neediness has become so bad that her hair has begun falling out in clumps. Shana has no intention of breaking up with her boyfriend, though. Besides, Andy would just die if I broke up with him. He really doesn't have anyone else in his life. According to Mosher, the basics of co-dependency are guilt and shame.
Sufferers feel severely flawed and therefore fear opening their defective selves up to others.
This self-isolation leads to deep emptiness. Mosher explains that co-dependency takes root in one's relationship with his or her parents. Children that lack this kind of unconditional love grow up thinking that something is wrong with them, says Mosher. Then they develop shame and lose their true selves. People try to fill the hole with addictive behaviors such as drugs, work, sex, exercise, gambling or even religion.