In the first few months and as the special occasions pass no two days are ever the same, yes you do laugh occasionally but mostly your heart just aches and your eyes are continually running along with your nose, you are numb. As I have gone through this journey and the good days started to out number the bad ones, as I am able to laugh more and think more clearly, I have been wondering what has helped me get through these past eight months. It has been difficult after being an at home Mom for 25 years and a single parent for the past twelve of those when, very suddenly and unexpectedly, one of the most important people in your life dies. I feel that this web site is probably one of the best support systems anyone with this chronic illness could have at their fingertips. I thank those that keep it up and running and the people that respond, it has been a saving grace for me.
Today is an especially bittersweet day.
There was such jubilation on that very long awaited day, Lauren did so well on Flolan, initially had a few side affects which diminished and would reappear with another increase. I thought it was the beginning of a whole new life for Lauren and our family, little did I know she would be dead within four months. Today was also the day we finally had Lauren s headstone placed on her grave at our church cemetery. Lauren s ashes had been interred on December 26 when my oldest daughter had been home from school. My other three children and I wanted Lauren s headstone to be just right, so we ordered it especially.