Simply find the entry that most fits the person you're trying to give to, and read across to find what you should give. Please note that Toxic Custard will not be held liable for any injury or death, insult or cutting-off from inheritance that may occur as a result of taking this chart seriously. S. M. Claus of Cheltenham. Bugger off, I'm just a distant cousin. But before he hung up in disgust, he did give us the right number.
Some presents are complete crud.