I don't think pro-lifers have been careful here to articulate a sensible response, so they get stuck in this dilemma. But there is another aspect of this issue. The whole objection hinges on whether or not abortion takes the life of an innocent human being or not. This is the issue that is almost never addressed. It only causes more trouble.
Silence is certainly one solution.
Empty, inflammatory rhetoric causes unnecessary problems. If that's all pro-lifers are doing, then they should stop. The real solution then is to stop the killing, not stop the objections. The pro-life view is that sensible people are being aroused for a good reason. Of course, that's the rub.