One way to avoid problems is to schedule short visits and leave before you feel yourself falling back on less mature attitudes, said Candyce Russell, professor of family studies and human services at K-State. It's not at all uncommon for arguments to begin to surface after three days of a family being together. I don't know what's magical about the three-day mark, but the rule seems to hold true in many cases. It might be wise to stay at a hotel rather than everyone staying at one home, but Jurich said each individual has to know their family's rules. He said people need to know whether attempts like these, good intentions or not, are going to be misinterpreted or accepted.
Tension can also develop around the children in the household.
With multiple generations of parents in one place, habit may lead people to discipline children who are not theirs, said Jurich. Then toes aren't stepped on. Disciplining children is an area where adults have to get out of the frame of mind that there's one right way to do it and let the child's parents deal with it in the way they see fit. Bringing many different family units together can also cause conflicts about what traditions to practice. The couples have to decide ahead of time what traditions they want to share with the family and what they want to do separately.