They are overly cautious about providing appropriate home stimulation for fear that neighbors, friends, and relatives will perceive their child's advancement as the result of their pressuring and overinvestment. She did it on her own when I wasn't looking. As a society, we are quick to blame parents, but we are not as good at recognizing and acknowledging good parenting. Parents of gifted children have been placed in a no-win situation. If they try to develop their children's abilities to the fullest, they often find themselves in an adversarial position with the schools.
Schools can have a different agenda.
It is the squeaky wheel that gets oiled. These children are too young to advocate for themselves. In as polite and cooperative a manner as possible, parents need to continue to inform the schools of the needs of their children and to monitor to make sure those needs are being met. They need to get together with other parents so that they don't feel as vulnerable. Strong parent advocacy groups can often accomplish more than a single family.