To say that you ought to be ashamed is like saying that you ought to feel something about your genuine guilt. It's like saying that if we can get rid of the symptoms that sickness causes, then we can get rid of sickness, too. If we can take away the pain that causes the sickness, the sickness is gone. It doesn't work that way. I just don't get a comment like that coming from a pastor.
Shame has no redemptive quality whatsoever.
It's just a negative stigma. In order to redeem a bad condition to some better condition you must acknowledge the bad condition you need redemption from. So shame could be very redemptive. If you realize you've got a problem, you are going to seek a solution. There's an interesting statistic, according to Newsweek .