The abuser can become sensitive to anyone outside of the relationship who finds out about the abuse, which is why they act different and turn on the charm when they are around other people. But as soon as he gets behinds closed doors, the charm turns off and the abuse turns on. Very often intelligent women are drawn in by abusive men. Of course they do not start out being abusive, but eventually their true colors will show. Love doesn't create this behavior, dominance does.
Women start to believe what they are being told by their abuser.
All this abuse eventually takes its toll. Many times, verbal abuse is always followed by physical abuse. That is why it is very important for each woman to take a look at her relationship and recognize the signs of a verbally abusive relationship before it turns dangerous. To leave an abuser, you must recognize the abuse and understand that it is wrong and that you haven't done anything to deserve it. If you have any questions about how to recognize an abusive relationship or how to get out of one, please feel free to stop by the Office of Collegiate Support and Counseling Services located on the first floor of Sullivan Hall.