While there is no guarantee that sex within a monogamous relationship moves beyond that, anonymous sex is patriarchal sex and, I believe, incompatible with resistance to patriarchy and the search for a deeper connection to ourselves and each other. People often press me to explain exactly what sexual practices can create this connection, but I do not think the task is to write a manual. This is more about our relationship to each other than about specific acts. If sexuality is about invention and creation, then a metaphor may be of more help. She's hot, he's hot, we had hot sex.
Sex produces heat.
Sex is hot. If the goal is knowing ourselves and each other like that, then what we need is not heat but light to illuminate the path. I am not always sure. Sunlight is better than light generated by fossil fuels. Light that draws its power from rechargeable solar cells is better than light that draws on throw-away batteries.