The release becomes like an evil orgasm. I know this from my own past. I so often felt. I saw the ugliest ,worst parts of me,the parts I never wanted anyone else to see,the parts that even now I find hard to admit to. Violence is addictive,like the worst drug.
Violence does breed violence.
Stopping it in yourseft takes courage-to face the ugliest parts of yourseft. And it takes a willingness to sacrifice the high of that release. My own battle with this seems to be over. It 's been many years since I exploded in rage,so long ago that my son does't even remember. I am so incredibly grateful that I was able to stop it in time,that he does not share the same legacy that lies in me still ,dormant,ready,waiting.