I can only hold on to being detached long enough to write it down. And then the moment slips behind me. Ebbs away from me a little at a time. Its absence hardly noticed. A small part of reality resurfaces.
Subjective behavior settles in.
I fall closer and closer into my situation. My vision, my decision, everything about me is obstructed with the closeness of it all. No belonging and no total isolation. Without much struggling, I have let myself become absorbed.