Back to the bathroom, blade in hand, turning the shower on quite hot. He felt a pulse in his ears, cauterizing the flow of forevers. Suicide attempts create a sense of freedom in those who long for escape. In these moments, when, like Abraham and Isaac combined, one is poised at teh altar as both executor and sacrifice, one expereinces a heightened state of awareness. At this point people report being able to disidentify from the world of suffering and enter a new world that is smaller, less complex, and manageable.
Suicide promises to eliminate the possibility of continued hurt.
In a series of perhaps inalterable moments, a person can sever his or her relationship with the world, declare an end, and feel relief that the war is over. He or she suddenly senses the serenity of nature or expereinces a clarity of perspective. One man I interviewed said, 'Everything came together. I finally felt clear. On Robert's final walk to the hanging rope in the garage, although nervous, he felt filled with 'tranquility and peace'.