Our Mainland Chinese friends are providing the US military with an unbeatable deal on new headgear for our soldiers. Hainan Island Infested By Plane Eating Bacteria US military officials are worried that if the Chinese do not allow the return of the EP3 Spy Plane soon, there may not be any plane left to return.
Satellite imagery shows a strange growth engulfing the side of the craft.
Traces of GOO-k1 were found in the uniforms of all the returning detainees. GOO-k1 is known to disassemble and consume military aircraft at an alarming rate. Pentagon scientists estimate that the entire EP-3 aircraft could be completely consumed within the next two weeks, if the bacteria continues at the current rate. The Chinese military had quarantined the island in hopes of containing the bacterium. The US servicemen were the first people to leave since the bacterium was discovered.