In the same way that diamonds seem precious while the pure water we need in order to survive doesn't, we take love for granted and strain after the impossibly beautiful substitute our ego offers in its stead. Infatuation ravishes our senses, and seems to promise gratification beyond our wildest dreams. Unfortunately, when we mistake it for the genuine article, we slowly starve for love even as we seem to gorge ourselves on it. Real love is actually a pretty pedestrian affair, characterized by simple virtues like patience, forgiveness, tolerance, humor, gentleness, empathy, tact, honesty, discipline, and practical support. It is not heralded by a state of breathless exaltation, but by a sense of peaceful contentment.
Special relationships are all about how love is supposed to be.
In pursuit of them, we do our best to achieve a union where everything looks perfect, regardless of the way it feels . A suitably romantic courtship, during which both parties do a flawless portrayal of people in love, culminates in a fairy-tale perfect wedding. Unfortunately, concern with the outward appearance of a relationship always comes at the expense of content. Both know that they are valued only for the act they can put on, and that any attempt to reveal their true selves will be regarded as a breach of contract. As the Course points out, the special relationship is a very impressive frame, but the picture it holds is dark and depressing.