You are not alone in noting the importance of perception and credibility in foreign policy and national security.
Soft power is the ability to achieve goals through attraction rather than coercion.
Through soft power, a state can achieve desired outcomes due to the appeal of its ideas or culture or its ability to set the agenda. Positive perception and credibility are necessary for soft power to work. If others perceive the United States as arrogant and belligerent, its power of persuasion will be weak. And as you note, legitimacy and credibility are key in the information age. Nye argues that reputation has become more important as a result, and therefore governments need to establish reputations for credibility.