It's time that parents and professionals acknowledge that specific preparation techniques, transition strategies, and special parenting approaches are needed to help toddlers adjust to their new families. Most toddlers have acquired a sense of humor and rudimentary communication skills. The developmentally normal toddler displays an emerging sense of autonomy and has acquired an impressive array of physical skills. However, many also arrive with an array of challenging behaviors caused by early neglect, abuse, or multiple disruptions in caregivers. But unlike older children, toddlers are unable to participate in the preparation, transition, and therapeutic strategies typically used with older, more advanced children.
Toddlers are a bundle of contradictions.
Many keep their adoptive parents at bay through their anger, grief, and natural urge toward independence. Encouraging a newly adopted toddler's dependence and trust while supporting his emerging independence is a confounding task for both the child and parent. Communication skills often suffer a setback, and may be forever affected by changes in a child's primary language. Even domestically adopted toddlers must adjust to different communication styles and expectations. Comfortable routines, all-important to the toddler's sense of security, often disappear with an adoption.