Parents deserved respect simply because they were your parents. It was thought that if you make people obey, that will make them strong. And then duty will produce love. And that hurts. . And the old idea that a high degree of self-esteem is harmful.
Tenderness is harmful.
This is an old model. Lots and lots of people have changed that. But it still exists to some degree. It sounds like what you're talking about is the new paradigms for sharing and caring these days need to apply to households and the child rearing also. John Goleman has just written a book on developing emotional intelligence in your children.