The Plaintiff must file a complaint for divorce in District Court. The Defendant has 30 days from the date of service of the summons and complaint to file an answer or request an extension of time. The North Carolina General Statutes state that all material allegations in the Divorce complaint are deemed to be denied by the Defendant. Thus, one of the parties must appear before the Judge for a testimonial divorce, or a summary judgment motion can be filed which allows a party, or usually an attorney for the party to appear before the Judge to present the documents and obtain the divorce on behalf of the Plaintiff. The person who brings the case first gets to talk first.
Some lawyers swear that there is an advantage to being first.
Others say it doesn't really matter. There is no negative connotation attributable to the spouse who brings the action or to the person who responds to the action. If family violence has been a part of your life, you need to take immediate action. It is more credible for a victim of family violence to bring the action first. Nearly all of them.