Unresolved anger or hurt, issues that may have begun with a parent, can stop us from jumping in with both feet. In this case we want to exert control over the relationship and not leave ourselves vulnerable to hurt again. So we look for the partner who will not upset our lives in any way, but will instead make life easy as well as happy. I talked to my friends and found that men and women seem to covet different kinds of fantasy attachments. I've asked my partner Leonard to join me in writing this in order to offer you a male perspective.
Women tend toward the romantic vision of relationship.
We are bombarded with images of romance from TV, movies, books and magazines. We complete questionnaires, read self-help books and look for the partner who romances us with flare, with everything we've ever dreamed about, someone who brings out our best, someone to get us out of this boring life. We just want to be loved and the proof lies in the doing. We want the fantasy because it looks so good, so easy-kind of like winning the lottery. The fantasy is so much better than the reality of having to deal with the less than perfect man.