You cannot force someone to want to get better nor can you force them to accept help. Upon discovering that a family member or friend has an eating disorder, you will probably experience many different feelings and emotions such as confusion, anger, guilt and fear. You may feel confused about why it happened, what to do next, where to go for help and how to approach this person. The best way to deal with confusion is to educate yourself about eating disorders. Read books, talk to a professional who knows about eating disorders, talk with people who are in a good recovery or who have recovered from their eating disorder, and try to speak with other families who are experiencing what you are.
Some people find themselves feeling angry towards themselves or the person suffering.
You may be angry with yourself for not knowing about the problem sooner, for not preventing it from developing, and for not being able to fix the problem immediately. You may also feel angry with the person for not being able to stop the eating disorder behaviors and for continuing to abuse themselves. You may feel angry with the person for causing you pain and you may believe the person is doing this to hurt you. It is important that you find a way to deal with that anger. Remind yourself that the person is not doing this to hurt you, they are doing this to themselves.