From infancy on, we depend on the vital connect ion of love and trust with those most important to us. When the tie with these idols is broken by harsh words, neglect, or abuse, we blame ourselves. Another source of our shame for women stems from the culture in which we are raised. Many of us learn that as females we are too dependent and too emotional, too flighty to be capable of serious thinking. White males, on the other hand, have enjoyed rights and privileges that establish them as superior, and they are encouraged to expand and achieve.
Women lack power and status and feel ashamed because they arewomen.
Either way, they lose. Because our role has been to be passive and defer to men, we struggle with shame for being competitive and for being successful. Most people in our society believe our role as females is to take care of others,especially males. We are trained as caretakers, and we come to believe our worth depends on performing this monumental task. Our identity is based on our ability t o form and maintain relationships.