I realize this is probably because I don't accept myself. The need for acceptance from others is a natural human tendency. It stems from the way we interacted with our family members, siblings, and friends as a young person. Accepting yourself is an act of spiritual empowerment because it allows you to understand that you didn't come here to be perfect. You can absolve yourself of your deficiencies and promise to try harder in the future, and you can accept your successes and your strengths.
Security comes from feeling connected to all things.
It is beyond the intellect, the personality, and the mind. It's an inner sense of knowing, which only comes once you've managed to control the mind. So, once you see yourself from an infinite perspective and don't need to win people's acceptance, you can be kinder and more gentle toward yourself. I find I have to do this every day in the business world. I work in advertising and find that my career is all about trying to impress others.