Consequently, a husband or a wife must be sensitive to this and try to give their spouse what their heart is set on, whenever possible. Another explanation could be that Yelta was insulted when she heard from Ula that her whole success depended on her husband. This seemed to imply that she was somehow less important and therefore aroused her anger. Our Sages are teaching us that we must not tell women things which they will perceive as insulting. We must be careful to tell them things that will make them feel important.
Skillful diplomacy is necessary when speaking to our wives.
The idea of breaking wine barrels is explained as follows by the Maharsha. By smashing wine barrels, Yelta was showing that she was not at all interested in the drinking of the wine, but rather was only interested in receiving the blessing. The way she demonstrated this was by spilling out masses of wine. Your Wife's Feelings Yelta did not accept the second cup, since she felt that it was not coming from her husband with sincerity. A woman has a special talent to read her husband's mind and to know his true thoughts.