Sven wanted a summary of the replies I got to my rhamphochromis query. He was also interested in Pat Chefalo's question about Archocentrus. I suspect Pat got just as much feedback as i did. He mentions Bussing's 1976 work re the San Juan ichthyofauna. The issue is not whether its hard-wired or not, but wether it is likely to be of phylogenetic value.
Some species flip mating systems from monogamy to polygyny, dump fry if their parter deserts etc.
While they may be hard-wired within species, they may sometimes change too fast to have any phylogenetic value e.g. blue and black vertical stripes in male Ps. Its hard to tell, a priori. The fine details of behaviour might be of phylogenetic value. Whether a fish waggles its tail or just its pelvic fins while fanning. Or erects soft and spiny dorsal while submitting or just spiny dorsal, or neither.