In order to succeed, you have to be able to have those kinds of complex relationships. You have to realize that this is not a war. It's not about destroying people. It's about negotiating settlements. Never do for people what they can do for themselves.
Smart leaders know that what they're trying to do is develop people's capacity to act.
Mentoring has got to be about getting them to understand their own interests and to develop a habit of inquiry so that they can move from being your proteges to being people who can be your mentors. What I'm trying to do is build something that is beyond anything that I can do as one person or as one leader. My job is to get out of the center of things. Because if I'm the one with all of the relationships, then once I go away, the organization collapses. I'm not here to serve as a charismatic leader.