And let me tell you how much safer I feel knowing a gun-obsessed kid isn't going to get an education even if he wants one. I'm sure our chances of survival went way up now that he's at home watching Gi Joe and Jerry Springer. Anti-drug policies have gotten so strict that dozens of kids are getting kicked out of school for bringing cold medicine and aspirin to class. I say catch the custodian right after he's done cleaning up vomit. That's when you're guaranteed a bullshit-free analysis.
Someone mopping up puke has no illusions.
He can look at a kid and figure out that he brought the two Advil to school to fix his headache and not start a drug ring. I'm not saying the finger pointing is worse or better than taking legal medicines to cure common diseases. It's just different. Kids are going to do rude, self-destructive, and stupid things. But they're not starting a contest, teachers.