But that isn't the full story. Codependency is caring run amuck . Not exactly angels of mercy. They have lost control of their lives. They don't see the choices they have made.
Some theorists say shame is the basic cause for addictions and for codependency.
Detachment from another person does not involve rejecting the person, it is rejecting your feeling responsible for them. To become detached from another person requires a clear notion of who we are, what our purposes are, and what limits we place on our involvement in another person's life. It is a matter of trying to control someone else's life. If you are a codependent and overly involved in running someone else's life, you need to withdraw and detach yourself. Explain to the person you have been worrying that you have done all you can, that they must now care for themselves, that they probably need professional help as well as a support group, that you have, do, and will love them deeply, but you want to make the best of your own life.