You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station because this ones just too icky.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the damn time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.