But significant differences, unique issues and deceptive myths are just as much part of the phenomenon. Perhaps the most significant difference is the community's invalidation. Unlike the mainstream's recognition and response to battered women, the gay community has responded to its battered gay men with denial and silence. Of all the differences between heterosexual and homosexual abuse, this silent denial of the community is the most detrimental factor as it perpetuates abuse, suffocates potential funding and services and removes support, protection and validation from the victim. Gay socialization processes often include secrecy, isolation and fears of abandonment which compound this isolative community silence.
Studies indicate a correlation between levels of co-dependency and jealousy and rates of abuse.
This potentially raises the abuse benchmark and prolongs cohabitation further into the abuse cycle. Although claims of mutual abuse are common in heterosexual domestics, gay male batterers who counter their victims' charges build upon and manipulate the myth that abuse or violence between two men is normal, 'just fighting', or actively initiated by or participated in by both parties. As a result it is difficult for men to identify themselves as victims yet easy for perpetrators to extract validation from socialized competition, aggression and power-seeking messages. In traversing the relationship continuum from healthy to dysfunctional to abusive, it is difficult for gay men to identify their relationship's location given the labyrinth of myths and misplaced landmarks. If this were not enough, gay men also face abuse in the form of homophobia and re-victimization.