It takes time and practice. The first step is to identify how you feel and what you need. Identify and label the feeling you are experiencing. It may be difficult at first to identify and label your feelings if you are accustomed to pushing feelings away. Select the primary emotion that you feel.
Some emotions mask other, deeper emotions.
For example, some people will feel angry at the surface, but feel hurt or scared underneath. Accurately identify the intensity of the emotion you feel. For example, anger can be felt on a continuum from irritation to mad to furious. Identify what you need from someone. The next step is to express your feelings and needs to someone else.