But it certainly complicates their lives. Self-tests at the beginning of The Highly Sensitive Person in Love allow individuals and couples to see how they rank on both traits. Even though temperament is invisible, it is very real. I have found many couples in which one person answered every question true on one of these self-tests, the other, false. The problems are special for male HSPs.
Women love to be friends with male HSPs, but want to date and marry non-HSPs.
One goal of The Highly Sensitive Person in Love is to help HSP women realize their mistake and HSP men to feel less to blame for their situation. Another goal is to explore the different ways that HSPs and sensation seekers approach intimacy. HSPs are naturally cautious and reflective before committing. I provide a self-assessment of eight fears about deep love, then suggests what to do about each. Most important, this book tailors all those relationship self-help books to meet an HSP's needs.