But young children often quickly transfer their attachment to the new caregivers. Those adopting from Kazakhstan, where extensive visitation is required before the court hearing, have reported fewer initial problems than those who have taken custody of young children they barely know. Many report that children ages 4 to 5 years have the most difficult time adjusting. Kids this age may feel like they were kidnapped by aliens. A long plane trip, people who can t speak their language, and a whole new world this is frightening rather than desirable.
Temper tantrums are a common response.
She would growl and scare all of us that we had brought home an incredibly unstable child. It really took about 6-8 months before we saw her true personality of being a strong willed and very loving child. Though an older child may have the unrealistic idea that adoption means a rich family, trips to Disneyland, and everything good they ever saw on TV, at least they are more likely to understand that being a member of a family is a good move for them. It may still be a frightening experience for them. When my girls are older, I ll tell them how brave I think they were to become part of a new family and a new life.