They are thinking about their own selfish pleasure or trying to forget their own sorrows. They think how unfair a wonderful person like them could be stuck with such a body. If they really hated themselves, they would be happy that they look like they do because that is what such a rotten scoundrel would deserve. The one who is de pressed because of a lack of friends is thinking about their own loneliness. If they really hated themselves they would be glad that no one wants to be around them.
Suicide is said to be the greatest expression of self hate.
It is certainly not those to whom they have responsibili ties. Even if their thinking is not being logical, their primary concern is still with self. They are concerned about their problems, how everything is being unfair to them and how they are going to escape by leaving all their problems behind. He is saying for us to be concerned about other people's needs and desires like we are already concerned about ours. He is instructing all husbands to be concerned about their wives welfare in the same manner they are already concerned about their own.