Even if you don't consider yourself the Emily Post type, you're undoubtedly concerned about proper etiquette now that you're planning a wedding. The truth is, we live differently than in the past, and etiquette comes from a time when social structure was far more formal than today. What you need to be more sensitive to now is the fact that etiquette fluctuates from one region of the country to another, from country to country and from social level to social level. Telling parents in person is always preferable to doing it over the phone. The manner in which you make your announcement is actually a matter of personal style.
Some couples share the news over a meal at a favorite restaurant.
Others are more comfortable talking casually over a cup of coffee in the kitchen. In the real world, you may have to talk to everyone by phone first. The totally wrong way to go is for everyone to meet for the first time on the wedding day. There are just too many demands on everyone at that time. The Guest List Whoever pays for the wedding usually casts the deciding vote on the actual size of the guest list.