Being in mortal form with personalities and egos, opinions and sexes, as well as a strong bent toward living in large groups and developing cultures, we humans are different, one from the other. Conflict itself is a neutral term, like power or energy. If you sit down with a clean sheet of paper and on one side write a list of what is positive in conflict and on the other side make a list of that which is negative, your two lists will be about the same length. Conflict can promote intimacy, cause growth, be a vehicle for self-awareness, promote trade, heighten sexual interest, increase knowledge of the world, encourage cultural exchange. It is our beliefs about conflict and our methods of handling it that cause the problems.
Violence is the ultimate form of disconnection and alienation.
It is non-problem solving behavior carried to its logical conclusion. As such, violence is the result of personal or cultural values which require behaviors of extreme submission or passivity on the one hand, or extreme dominance and need to conquer on the other. Both of these are role choices in a dispute situation, not problem-solving choices. Violence does not come from healthy aggression and assertiveness, nor does it automatically result from conflict over differences. What we are talking about here is the conflict management styles and behaviors on the part of individuals in a culture, or of the culture itself.