This cycle of conflict then continues on and on without either person ever noticing his or her role in the problem. Sides get drawn and issues become something to fight over rather than something to resolve. Walls of protection get fortified and distance grows. The experience of love quickly fades away. We hurt each other over and over again, feeling fully justified for everything we do.
Serious damage is done, and none of it is necessary.
Two people are required in order to create and maintain this cycle of conflict. Only one is needed to end it. If you want to heal your relationship and be free of the suffering, you need to end this cycle. To do this, you need to interact in a way that puts water on the fire instead of more fuel. You need to put the focus on healing your relationship, not necessarily as husband and wife, but as one human being to another.