Perhaps this is because most people anticipate that they will be HIV-positive. I thought I was going to die. It's morbid, I know, but I wanted it to be right, especially the music. I did this because I felt that when I walked into the office for the results I wanted to be ready to fight the HIV and not think about dying. I even came out to my parents, because if I was positive I didn't want to tell them at the same time that I was gay and HIV-positive.
Some people go further than others.
They start writing their will, planning who should take care of their children, getting their travel brochures out, all that kind of stuff. That's all they can see, and that's all they think about the whole week. They feel it's a bad omen and that there's going to be a bad answer when they come in. Alice told me this ominous thinking was most problematic for people who did not have support from friends during the testing process. They're going to have help from someone.