When they are disrespectful and disobedient, we sometimes retort with a heated tirade because our authority and self-esteem are threatened. When they are unmannerly before our friends, we scold them indignantly because our reputations are at stake. We know our actions are unloving and selfish, damaging to the children, and deadening to the warm affection and happy atmosphere we want to pervade our homes. But we cannot seem to help ourselves. We may subconsciously try to prove our love by compensating for our unloving actions.
Some parents become overindulgent.
They give their child practically everything he wants. He becomes lazy, irresponsible, and ungrateful, harboring the strange notion that the world owes him everything while he has no obligation to anyone. That certainly isn't love. Other parents become overprotective. They shield their child from every unpleasant problem and difficult decision in life.