The numbers were nearly equal for men and women, countering the widely accepted view that an overwhelming majority of cybersex participants are men. The lure of cybersex, speakers at the conference said, is its anonymity. Shy women, closeted gay men and image-conscious corporate executives believe acting out fantasies online is safe.
Women are more auditory.
The danger is that partners in relationships often think of cybersex as within the rules - more morally acceptable than acting out fantasies in real life or renting porn videotapes, let alone having sex outside the relationship. That leads to a growing wall of secrecy between partners, Cooper said. Partners may lie to each other about which sites they visit or even wait until the middle of the night to surf for sex. For gay men, hesitant to date openly or too young to be sure of their sexuality, the Internet provides an outlet for sexual exploration, said psychologist Ron Burg, who worked with Cooper on the study. But that desire often drives homosexuals to cybersex compulsion, he said.