Tell your child what you are feeling when their behavior is upsetting to you. By using a direct approach when communicating, you can protect your child from the guilt and shame that they may internalize because of your unspoken, non-verbal behavior. When your child throws tantrums, prefers one parent over the other, or says 'no' continually it may be wiser to ignore their behavior rather than to 'tangle' with it, 'engage' with it or to try to use discipline. These 'storms' often disappear as children become more confident and secure about being a separate person from their parents and having their own identity - usually by the age of four. Invest extra time to allow your child to try to do things on their own.
Toddlers love to experiment with putting on clothing, pouring the juice, housecleaning, etc.
Use feeling words to strengthen your intimacy with your child and their capacity to be intimate with others. An easy way to form strong bonds with others is to share your feelings and reactions with them. Role model this skill for your child. Consider investing in counseling for yourself. If you are irritable, bitter, or anxious, your child is likely to walk in your footsteps and to become stuck in the same emotional pot holes that you are stuck in.