The answer is different for every individual, so it's no wonder that nearly every two people find they have some difference of opinion when it comes to the frequency of intercourse. Of all the areas of tension in marital sexuality, this difference in desired frequency is the most troublesome. It's simply not an easily compromised issue. One reason for the tension is that sex is exclusive and mutual.
Sexual frequency is a two-person decision.
Whichever spouse has the higher desire feels the most frustration. And the difference is not something that could be anticipated from your dating days. In the excitement and romance of courtship, both partners show an intense need for physical affection. Both partners seem motivated to express their love sexually, whether or not they waited for marriage for intercourse. Another reason for tension is that our sense of adequacy is connected with sexual performance.