Writing is a process.
Memorable writing comes more from rewriting than it does from the first draft. If you skimp on the rewriting process, you significantly reduce the chances that your essay will be as good as it could be. Once you have taken a break from your essay, come back and read it through one time with a fresh perspective. Consider reordering your supporting details, delete irrelevant sections, and make clear the broader implications of your experiences. Allow your more important arguments to come to the foreground.