An inner resolve not to take abuse can actually help ward it off. Has little to do with cruelty and meanness. People who hit their partners generally do so because they feel frustrated and helpless. While it's no excuse, many hitters do feel remorse and are not sadistic. Has something to do with culture.
Some cultures accept and justify domestic violence more than others.
Unfortunately, cultural distinctions don't make a violent situation any easier to handle. Has something, but not everything, to do with gender. While males usually identify with the role of the hitter and females with the victim role, it can be the other way around. In either case, gender can make little or no difference as to the damage done. Has much to do with skill in communicating.