The ed doesn't have to control you. The reality is that being doesn't make you happy. It makes your ed happy. Eating is a fact of life. It's hard for some of us because of what we've led ourselves to believe.
Some people have to eat more that others.
Some people are naturally larget framed than others. Acceptance is hard but it would definitely help. What I'm trying to get across is that you're only as miserable as you'll let yourself be. Think positive, and maybe you're day will go a little better. No one can heal you but yourself.