The stages may occur in any order, and some people may deal with the issues more than once. Children also experience the grief process when parents separate or divorce. In the beginning, parents may find it hard to believe that the relationship is over. Denial protects against shock. It insulates from fear about the loss of the relationship and the feelings of rejection, loneliness and depression.
Some people react by becoming withdrawn and isolated.
Others become highly active to block out the pain. Denial of the divorce is the child's attempt at trying to control a situation in which they have no control. They will deny the divorce to themselves, with their parents, at school, with friends, etc. Denial serves to defend against intolerable pain until it can be tolerated bit by bit. A parent may ask the other parent to become involved in counseling, to stop engaging in some behavior or to participate in activities together.