Ignorance and unconciousness make us lose our way and cause great suffering to ourselves and others. Sex, as we know, can lead to pregnancy. Failure to consider the gestative potential of sexuality can result in suffering for the lifetime of many lives over multiple generations. Women who have had abortions are sometimes haunted for decades afterwards. Each of those who attend our ceremonies has suffered the death of one or more small beings.
Strangers assemble with their grief and unresolved dismay.
Over time I have been struck by how successfully the ceremony has provided a container for the process of acknowledging what is so, for encompassing what is difficult, and for bringing about resolution and healing. When I initially performed the Buddhist Memorial Ceremony, I followed a quite traditional form. Slowly I have modified and added to it in a way that seems to work better for Americans. Our commitment is to listen to those who wish to talk without attempting to give advice or comfort. Some of know from twelve-step meetings of the important practice of simply listening.