I can't believe that was an experience sent by God. When a beloved partner dies suddenly and prematurely, I don't believe it's because God has decided the time was right. I think it's more likely that medical science hasn't yet discovered all the answers, and that in future years, many of today's premature deaths will be prevented. If times of difficulty aren't sent by God, then it follows that we might conceivably be tested beyond our endurance. And clearly, some people are.
Some people have breakdowns of one sort or another, often many years after the precipitating event.
A policeman has recently been awarded compensation by the courts for post-traumatic stress, following the Hillsborough disaster. But the signs of that stress didn't really manifest themselves for about nine years. I think the difference for Christians is not that they won't have illnesses or trauma just like anyone else, but that they have God to help them through their difficulties. St Paul describes Jesus as the rock which produces the water of life, and which is always present. If we are able, despite times of extreme stress and trouble, to hang onto that rock and drink deeply of that water which Christ offers, then although we may suffer terribly, through him we will at least emerge from the trouble in time.