As a psychologist and a marriage-counselor team, we ve worked with over 5,000 couples, in addition to leading workshops and giving lectures to thousands more, and we have learned to measure intimacy by asking the questions above. There are no right or wrong answers. But if you re disappointed or dissatisfied with your answers, if you wish more of them were often or often enough, then consider this a sign that your marriage needs reviving. For example, you may work harder and harder or faster and faster in order to get everything done. Perhaps you re the type of person who can do two things at once.
Some people have enormous reserves of energy and stamina to call on.
Others take charge and manage stressful situations by trying to control others. You might in fact be a terrific manager of people. One of the hallmark characteristics of exceptional copers is the capacity to go numb when stressed and keep on going. Because they have so much to do and feel it s important to accomplish every little thing, many great copers become easily frustrated, irritable and sometimes hostile and cynical. If you lead a busy life, you probably spend considerable time preoccupied with your own anxieties, needs and wants.