I feel so many things at one time and try to find comfort in so many things. I have so many questions that a doctor can never answer. Will I be trying to replace my sweet Victor. I want so bad to know that God is a wonderful being but its so hard when he gave me so much pain. I want someone to blame.
Some days are good.
Some are bad. I will never be able to hold my darling Victor in my arms, only in my heart which is where he will always be. I guess it's because I know he isn't there. He is with the Lord making him smile. I don't fear death anymore.