Eventually, he recognized that his wife's affair and his feelings of loss and abandonment were a trigger for past, unresolved feelings about his father's violent way of leaving him. All survivors need to receive a clear message that, unlike in traumatic events, they are now in safe situations where they have more choices. They can choose to forgive themselves and others. They can work to resolve hurtful feelings by discussing the trauma in detail and by learning new coping strategies. Whether you are interacting as a nurse or a therapist, successful collaboration is achieved through building a trusting, therapeutic relationship.
Several steps can help.
Clarify your role and establish boundaries. The first step in forming a therapeutic relationship is to have a clear notion of your role as a supportive and helping caregiver. Effective, comfortable therapists know in advance what they can and can't do for these individuals. For example, you can't substitute good parenting for the abusive experiences victims may have had as children. You can gently point out counterproductive aspects of victims' behaviors, such as when they become overly dependent or angry.