Network like crazy. Every society has rites of passage between childhood and adulthood. Tailor them to your child. Keep lines of communication open, knowing that you can't make your kids talk until and unless they are ready. Your willingness to talk may be more welcome by kids other than your own.
School is a child's society.
If there is teamwork between home and school, the child is the winner. The most valuable partnership possible is the one between school and parents. Supporting your children doesn't always mean agreeing with them. Challenging perceptions is part of our adult role. Be honest with yourself in acknowledging the need to turn to an objective professional.