The authors believe that the majority of couples that split up are not that unhappy. The ones I talked to were desparate. She points out the defining influence of divorce on children and how their needs can get short shrift as parents struggle to reconfigure their lives. I know worry a great deal about this very issue. They make a point of reassuring the kids that they are loved and always will be.
Some parents spend more time with their children after the divorce.
Wallerstein concludes that a bad marriage is better for children than a divorce. Stick it out for the children. I interviewed many people who did just that. They endured years of abuse and alienation to stay together for the children. The children leave the nest, there's a job change, or a major illness, or an affair.