These are powerful needs and when they're met, people usually fall in love. But when these Internet lovers try to live together, they find themselves faced with a problem they did not anticipate. And the replacement does not work as well. And when they live with each other, they discover that the countless adjustments that must be made in daily living turn out to be a bigger challenge than they had ever imagined. It's similar to telephone romance, where lovers can talk for hours with each other, meeting some of each other's most important emotional needs.
Undivided attention is the key to the advantage of the Internet and the telephone.
There are very few distractions when communicating on the Internet or by telephone, and most emotional needs can be met only when you give your undivided attention. Dating also limits distractions, especially when just you and your date go out to dinner or go for a walk. But even an evening of conversation in front of the fireplace is often not quite as effective in meeting emotional needs as an evening on the Internet. For years now, I've encouraged couples to spend a minimum of fifteen hours a week giving each other their undivided attention. That's because it takes time to meet emotional needs , and it also takes undivided attention.