After we've worn each other out with storytelling, the tree gets planted later. For both of us, remembering a greatgrandmother who saw Napoleon is part of our differing sexual sensibilities, yet part of our shared sense of time. For many gay people, I think, healing ourselves as self-acknowledged homosexuals must include that effort to recapture and rekindle ceremony in our lives. It's no accident that holidays prompt sadness, sometimes suicide, for people who suddenly feel a vast void in their lives at this time of year. Older people often feel this void keenly, because our community's youth culture has marginalized them to such an extreme.
Young people feel the void too.
Yes, it is true that some ceremonies must be done alone, face to face with the Universe. For young people, these life-ceremonies include becoming economically independent, finding a direction in life, discovering their true selves. But the holiday ceremonies are ones that we need to do with others. For those who face the void, there are ways to fill it. Like Scrooge in the Dickens tale, we can step out of the loneliness.