On another note, lack of ejaculatory control is probably the most common male problem. It's like, it happens when it happens, usually quickly and seeming to sneak up on you. This problem is more common among younger men, although some men in their thirties, forties and fifties have premature ejaculation. While ejaculation is a reflex and can't be controlled perfectly, a man who has developed control can enjoy high levels of sexual arousal, whether from manual or oral stimulation or intercourse, without coming, and he usually has a choice about when to ejaculate. Lack of ejaculatory control manifests itself in many ways, as do the erection difficulties.
Some men have very little control regardless of activity.
Others are Ok with themselves, but not with a partner, as in your case. Still others, probably the largest group, are fine except for intercourse. Since many of the exercises for developing better control require an erection, men with both problems should not attempt to work on gaining ejaculatory control until the erection problem is resolved. Now, ejaculatory problems are almost always due to a lack of knowledge, skill, or attention. Abstinence also hampers control.