Emotionally, physically and psychologically it is draining. You need every bit of strength. One possibility for the first year may be to visit relatives, friends or even go away on vacation. You may think of MANY answers that you don't verbalize. Preparing a large meal and activities and get your mind busy.
Some people fear crying in public.
Try not to push the tears down. Be gentle with yourself and try not to set high expections of yourself. Let go and cry, the release will feel better. It should not ruin the day for the other family members - in fact it will probably provide them with the same freedom. Share your concerns, feelings, apprehensions, etc. as the holiday approaches with a friend or relative.