No substitutes In an ideal world, Jean Valjean's story would be our story. We would easily recognize true forgiveness and be so moved that we'd turn around and do likewise. When we can't afford the pain and emotion that accompany genuine forgiveness, we often settle for apathy, denial, tolerance or revenge. We have gotten so used to the substitutes, that we have a difficult time recognizing genuine forgiveness. The recent surge of research and media interest in forgiveness reminds us that that our society craves genuine forgiveness.
Some proponents see forgiveness as a self-help elixir for our depression, stress and anger.
Others say forgiveness could prevent social ills such as divorce, school violence and road rage. Still others go so far as to say that forgiveness may be the missing link in healing the ethnic and racial hatred that divides nations. But forgiving is counter-instinctual. While we long to love and forgive, and to be loved and be forgiven, we are by nature prone to settle for less. We would rather hold a grudge than be a doormat.