You will then have a smooth-running household. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.
Some people say cats never have to be bathed.
They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away. I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.