If a parent can t tolerate aggression then a child may become passive and believe they have no anger or aggression inside them. If a parent despises generosity then that child may abandon their natural tendency to share with others. They feel the need to suppress those parts of themselves that might get them rejected from their families. Ironically, they believe they can only belong to the human race by eliminating some of their humanness. I m a loser.
Shame also has a Doing component.
Deeply shamed people feel weak and inadequate. They feel ineffective, unable to do things well. This shame may affect only a small area of their lives, or it may hinder almost everything they try to do. At its worst, Doing shame may almost completely paralyze people. Overwhelmed by their sense of incompetence, they cannot even imagine starting any task.