Other changes are of our making, such as marriage, retirement, geographic relocation, and career retreading. No matter how the change occurs, it is an event. We know it has happened, we can name it, and we can clearly define its ramifications. These feelings are part of a process called transition. Transition involves the psychological work of grieving the loss of the old reality and adjusting to the new situation until it can be embraced and eventually incorporated into one's identity.
Transition takes a long time because there are many parts to it.
William Bridges, author of several books on transition, delineated three stages that people in transition experience. First comes the Ending , a clear completion of an old way of being or doing. Since our culture doesn't allow for much time out between endings and new beginnings, most of us struggle through the neutral zone without even knowing why we're feeling such grief. The third stage, then, is the New Beginning , the new focus, the sense of new energy marking a new chapter in our lives. Because most people are not educated as to the transition process, they often jump too quickly into a new beginning without allowing enough time to grieve and recover from the loss of the old way of being.