Some people define self-esteem in terms of the difference between what you would like to be and who you feel you really are. I use a broader definition. I believe self-esteem includes the feelings and thoughts that we have about ourselves, how competent we feel, and how optimistic we are that we can succeed. Self-esteem also involves the extent to which we believe we can make even a small difference in our world, the courage we have to confront rather than flee from challenges, the capacity to learn from both successes and mistakes, and our ability to treat ourselves and others with dignity and respect. How youngsters show low self-esteem varies from one child to the next.
Some children are very direct in voicing feelings of low self-esteem.
The more obvious forms of these self-defeating behaviors are acting as class clown, cheating, bullying others, blaming the teacher or parent, avoiding or quitting games, and denying the importance of certain tasks. Experts in the field of motivation have emphasized that the extent to which people feel competent, capable, and believe they can succeed at a task will play a large role in determining how motivated they are and whether or not they will attempt and persevere at this task. A number of clinicians and researchers have highlighted the central role of self-esteem in promoting resilience. Also, many studies have emphasized the importance of having at least one adult in your life when you were a child who believed in yoand offered encouragement and hope. If children are to feel loved, we must accept their unique qualities and learning styles and make appropriate accommodations.