Throughout the course of each day, remind yourself to be gentle and then make a concerted effort to do so. You must literally train yourself to think differently. Whether you feel hatred for yourself, general unworthiness, or deeply undeserving, changing the way you talk to yourself will begin to transform those feelings. Using written and verbal reminders and affirmations will help turn your harsh feelings into ones that are more kind. Reminding yourself to 'be gentle' will help you to stop being cruel to yourself.
Visualization is a powerful tool in any kind of metamorphosis.
As vividly as you possibly can, imagine caring about yourself as much as you care about your friends. Picture what a day would look and feel like. Take some time to scrutinize your feelings and beliefs about these questions. You may wish to devote a therapy session or two to exploring them. Use writing, artwork, or talking with a confidant to explore what it will mean when you have a positive relationship with yourself.