This is a typical thing for someone who wants to say something to say, but it places a tremendous amount of pressure on the person. The poor child was carrying her own and her parent s grief, because of a silly sentence, which had been repeated over and over again. Such expectations merely contribute to delaying the grief process. The teenager is strong, does not cry, and then, years later, suddenly experiences a tremendous amount of grief and sadness, and no one understands it. Someone has died.
Tears are appropriate.
It is important in any grieving process to be allowed to explore the depth of your feelings. As a friend, help the person by going with them to the place of death if they ask you to, listen to the person tell the same stories over and over. But the most important thing to remember is that this is a unique person you are dealing with. He has his way of coping with grief. Allow him to find it, and support him here.