Write them down. Look at the situations from the past and tell yourself how people who want to build your self esteem and confidence could have responded to you. Write these responses down and repeat these positive statements. With these thoughts in mind, try to bring yourself to deal with speaking situations a little at a time. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a speaking class, where you can gradually expose yourself to speaking experiences without the pressure of performing in front of people you know.
Toastmasters is an excellent example of such a class.
They are found in many cities nationwide. If you gradually expose yourself to increasingly more difficult speaking experiences over time, your anxiety will decrease and you'll perform more effectively. You will begin recognizing that your internal messages will have changed, from expecting critical reactions to expecting positive, accepting reactions. Your self-image will have changed from one of reacting as the child you had once been, to the adult you truly can be today with a little practice in a safe environment. Best Good Fair Poor Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years.