This story is a lovely blending of dream and reality. You have an extensive vocabulary that helps tremendously in creating the images that are in your mind. She looked behind her and saw translucent wings of pale iridescence leaving a trail of glittering dust behind. Young writers are often criticized for using sentence fragments. Groups of words lacking a subject or a verb.
Sentence fragments can be a problem if they are the result of a writer's carelessness.
Meaning is often fuzzy then, and readers waste energy trying to figure out what the writer is trying to say, or else give up in frustration. Maybe just the memories of her fantasy world she so longed to be real. You can look at that paragraph, and decide if you want to go farther than that in cutting, or not. Watch for consistency of verb tense. You play around with this nicely, but be careful not to make switches mid-paragraph.