We want the other person to pay, so we withhold mercy and let anger simmer. Deny moral absolutes. Deny that our actions have moral consequences. Deny that anything is wrong. Forgiveness and justice should travel together, says researcher Robert Enright.
True forgiveness recognizes the seriousness of the offense.
If we strive for justice while we're angry, it will be a less satisfying justice. However, if we keep an eye on mercy as we try to sort out injustices, we will discover a much more satisfying solution. Our inclination as humans, however, is to seek justice first, and then consider forgiveness. Toward reconciliation One very public experience of forgiveness involved TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford and her struggle to forgive her broadcaster husband, Frank, after his affair in 1997. Frank and Kathie Lee went through typical feelings of guilt and betrayal.