A good rule of thumb is to write what you are comfortable with and what you hope your birth relative will, in turn, share with you. This introductory letter should be non-identifying, using just first names and leaving out surnames, addresses or other information that would identify you or others you are writing about. You may wish to include a photograph of yourself or yourself and your family. This can help focus the dream of a reunion into a reality. It may take some time for you and your birth relative to exchange letters and photographs.
Some people respond quickly and write as soon as they learn of the match on the register.
Others need to take more time to think through the experience, talk to friends and family and prepare themselves emotionally. Still others find that they need to take time out from their busy lives, and this may require taking some vacation from work, delegating responsibilities at home or finding some time and space to dedicate to this important milestone in their lives. Everyone's experience is different, and selecting your own comfort level at each step of your journey is important. The final step to a reunion is arranging how direct contact will take place. When the adoptee and birth family member feel that they have a realistic picture of each other, and know what they may expect from a reunion, agreement can be reached about the manner in which direct contact will take place.