What was accepted as normal and good is now looked at askance. There will be denial, anger, an attempt to bargain for some other interpretation of the facts, a period of despair when reality sinks in, and finally either acceptance that in fact their partner is transsexual, or a hasty escape from what has become an intolerable situation. I could tell many heartbreaking stories and a few wonderful stories. What I hope is that we can eventually even out that ratio. But a crisis can lead to strength and to change that is good for both of you.
Transsexual people look for the same things in partners as does everyone else.
Your partner was attracted to you and fell in love with you. Because you would have run away screaming, of course. In a sense you were tricked, but I would lay the blame at the feet of a culture that forces an artificial conformity of sex, gender, and sexuality, and then makes it taboo to talk about the people who cannot fit into this scheme. And your trans partner may have tricked hirself into believing that sie could ignore the tumult within and lead the life expected by the culture. Crossdressers and drag queens and kings and female and male impersonators are not necessarily transsexual.