Thoughts of the end. Flash-'forwards' of death. Images of suicide. I tried to shrug them away, thinking it must be the queasiness twisting my thoughts. But since then, those thoughts have stuck to the back of my mind like gum.
Teenage suicides are common.
Maybe too common. A lot of my friends talk about it as if it is some kind of morbid joke, like some sardonic mockery of life. Even just reading through the messages left on the Mogenic Forum, you can tell that people are thinking about, talking about it, imagining it, all the time like an over-zealous obsession, and attraction, with death. A whole myriad of reasons lead me to feel like that school, family, friends, prospects of the future, memories of the past and until recently, a new addition to my ever extending shopping list of problems being gay. It's difficult enough as it is being a teenager, you know, that transition from the fantasies of childhood to the realities and responsibilities of adolescence.