If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to be vulnerable., All these and other factors combined, if the circumstances are right, can teach and can lead to rebirth. But there is no simple formula, or swift way out, no comfort or easy acceptance of suffering. But it's useless. Courage is a first step, but simply to bear the blow bravely is not enough.
Stoicism is courageous, but it is only a halfway house on the long road.
It is a shield, permissible for a short time only. In the end one hasto discard shields and remain open and vulnerable. Otherwise, scar tissue will seal off the wound and no growth will follow. To grow, to be reborn, one must remain vulnerable - open to love but also hideously open to the possibility of more suffering. That golden yield Split sod once, overflowed an August field, Threshed out in pain upon September's floor, Now hoarded high in barns, a sterile store.