Perception and reality may not agree. You really should talk to the pastor about this. Jesus does ask the church to come to judgment about sins. One cannot bring a person to repentance without coming to judgment that he or she has lied or physically harmed another person or murdered them or sinned in some other way. Suicide is murder of self without opportunity to repent of the sin.
Suicide is like all sins of murder.
It is a refusal to trust God's providential care which He exercises in love and wisdom and a refusal to acknowledge that God is the Lord of life. If he truly was depressed and the physicians did not suggest treatment for depression, perhaps the family needs to redirect their concern from the pastor who could not help the man to the physicians who could have helped him, but did not. That is always a wise thing to do. It certainly is a proactive thing to do when when we know the pain and fear our loved one must be experiencing. They may very well feel despair.