This is indeed the genuine article, known throughout the western hemisphere as interestus kayakus extremis , a dreadful scourge of once content citizens. Regrettably, there is no known cure once infected. The only effective protocol is to succumb to the base temptations visited upon the patient. The obvious concern for those of us afflicted with this modern-day pestilence is how to keep the disease contained. Alas, this fickle disease presents more challenges than clinical answers.
Some patients require little more than two or three summertime paddle sessions per year.
Remember this is a new disease. Proper wildlife etiquette demands that we respect all species we encounter while afloat.