Even as teenagers our children sometimes deliver words that are very different from their intended meaning. It's an astute parent who can get past the words being said to the intended meaning. We sometimes find it hard to do this because we get caught up in our child's tone of voice or manner of speaking. Or we make up our minds quickly as we assume the conversation will be a copy of past experiences. Its a smart parent who will try to get beyond simply listening and move toward understanding.
Several things happen when a parent is doing more listening and understanding.
One clear benefit is that your children begin to talk to you about the important things in their lives without fear of judgement or criticism. They become much more honest and open, giving you an opportunity to share your thoughts and values in a nonthreatening environment. In addition, when you begin to see your child with new eyes you'll like what you see, you'll feel more love for your child, and you'll be a happier parent. Today my child told me something I didn't know. Today I looked into my child's eyes as I listened.