Speech is notoriously wordy. It's easier to edit tight copy. Pronouns are a common problem spot for writers. There are plenty of tricks, but nothing takes the place of understanding the grammar of pronouns in the first place. A bad Zimmerman is boring, strained or off the point.
Trendy expression leads.
There are lots of specific examples of boring and predictable leads in my book. We need fewer direct quotes in stories than we commonly suppose. The paraphrase is the intelligent, precise and interesting writer's best friend. After all, a writer or reporter is a thinking medium, not a tape recorder. Okay, let's tackle a common grammar issue.