You may not want to approach your minister because of the intimacy of the problem. I do not always recommend telling friends and asking advice, because it will be difficult for their, to remain objective. Seek out a professional marriage and family counselor. These should be professionally trained and should be sanctioned either by the American Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, or your physician, who is in a position to know about them. The Family and Children's Service is found in many cities and is generally staffed by competent personnel and is supported by the United Givers Funds.
Some churches sponsor counseling centers and some educational institutions have counseling services.
When you do seek help, do not hesitate to ask something about the qualifications and the training of the counselor if you are not acquainted with them, or if you do not have confidence in the one who made the referral. The success rate for those who seek counseling is high. Even if your spouse will not go, YOU should go on by yourself. There is so much that can be done even when you deal with only -one person. If the answer is NO, start changing here, and you can have a better marriage.