Instead of seeing their own need for control and insistence on having things their way, the other person becomes the enemy. Psychologist Neil Jacobson and his colleagues have identified the most common differences between couples that set up most of the fights. These differences stem from basic value differences and world outlook. I need my space, don't bother me. We must be a logical and rational.
Sex is okay once in a while.
We must live in a neat, clean house. You must be here for the family or you don't love me. I'll go on the offensive and go after you. These differences in values reflect different ways of looking at the world and living one's life. Some couples see their partner s flaws but have deep commitment to remaining in the relationship.