It is very focused and directed. The tongue is much more dexterous than the penis, so what you need to work with her on is what is called bridging the orgasm from one type of stimulation to another. A therapist could probably help you with this in one session. It is either your problem that you are keeping it alive or it is your girlfriend's problem that she is keeping it alive. It is hard to predict if a cyber affair is going to lead to a real affair.
Some couples think it is a real betrayal and others feel it was a stupid event.
Understand what she was seeking from the cyber affair and what she got and see what is missing from your relationship. I've never been married. I seem to get the wrong women and they are mostly very large women. I can't stand these women. They don't turn me on, but I can't get the ones that do.