Back to index While occasional mild jealousy is part of loving, frequent or dramatic jealousy can make a relationship miserable and even destroy it. Get the facts before you get upset. From soap operas to Shakespeare, we all know stories about minor misunderstandings or misperceptions that led to disaster. And remember, it can be extremely hard to prove actual innocence.
Suspicion can make almost anything look, well, suspicious.
If slow dancing or phone sex is clearly out of bounds, by all means bust a partner who's been doing them. If you've never discussed such things, or haven't been able to agree on a policy about them, you can fret, but you have no right to be accusatory. Jealousy indicates that someone feels threatened. Put another way, the threat may come from your partner's behavior, or from your own insecurity. Since it's embarrassing to feel insecure, many people prefer to yell and accuse rather than quietly admit how they feel.