Each of you has your own story. We think that happiness comes from a perfect childhood and avoiding mistakes. We don't like that patched up feeling that comes with each survival. We would like to be seamless, with no patches. Cherish your hard-won depth and understanding.
Some pain is required for the journey.
Pain is a great teacher, but most of us would rather learn some other way. There are patches in my heart from our suffering, most particularly for yours, but I believe in our strength too. Ashley Brilliant is right about yesterday. The past is fixed and we can't forget it, or perhaps, forgive it. What we can do is accept it, and separate from it, until the grief loses its power over today.