A positive attitude can mean very little without the means to live independently. She will often feel that having a father is more important than anything she can offer her children. She is unsure of her ability to keep her children and support them on her own. In fact, her spouse may often threaten to take the children away if she attempts to leave. She often assumes the blame for the abuse and will expend energy uselessly trying to determine how to avoid provoking her batterer.
Societal factors tend to hold women responsible for the well-being of the family members.
Thus, she feels responsible for holding the family together in times of crisis. She often still loves him and wants very badly for her relationship, marriage, life to be successful. If he will change, she does not have to face the responsibility to make a change. She often has no experience in independent decision-making or in being responsible for herself. Her spouse has reinforced this dependent relationship as a means of retaining control of her so that she is available to abuse.