This isn't about weddings, and it's not about editorial pretension, and it may not even be about cover letters. It is about special occasions, and as an IP you have plenty of those. For example, every time you make a pitch to a potential client, or give an important presentation to a current one, that's a Special Occasion. Notice that I specified your normal best technique. Special occasions almost by definition mean there's no margin of error.
Special occasions are precisely when results are most critical and there's no time for mistakes.
Special occasions are also when you're probably so nervous that your normal analytical faculties are a bit unreliable. That's not the time to experiment. By the way, I hope my making fun of that imaginary job-applicant's letter won't intimidate you into not writing to me. I love to get letters, especially when there's hard cash enclosed. Just don't enclose an invitation to your wedding.