Next day he received a hundred letters. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. An expensive way to get laundry done for free. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Both of them. They don't have time. They won't stop to ask directions. He buys two cases of beer.