Acknowledge that you are sad, fearful or hurt. In the process, the anger will diminish. Make an effort to slow down. Become a better observer and create a disconnect of the automatic anger response. Defuse your anger by jumping on and challenging the thoughts that trigger your first infusion of anger.
Timing is crucial.
The anger response can be short-circuited early on with ameliorating appraisal of the situation. Do this before acting on your anger and you ll successfully avoid potentially destructive or humiliating consequences. Allow yourself both physical and temporal distance from a provocation by leaving the situation or tabling the discussion, allowing you the necessary time to calm down. Be in a controlled state of mind as you approach the person or situation. Appreciate the fact that physiologically you are under the influence of powerful chemicals, where cognitive agility is lowered and judgment is clouded.