It doesn't mean I have to be ruled by these impulses. For heterosexual women it's evolved into a recognition that we're all dependent on each other just as sure as we're all dependent on the earth to survive. This reaction against the 'dependent woman' is typical of the sort of feminist dictum that says you should be ashamed of your irrational, obsessive, chaotic, pathetic impulses. There has to be room to make those impulses gender neutral in the human condition. We'll reach gender equality when we get a world where everything isn't reinforcing men's power to create perfect women.
Women have to stop policing each other's appearance and each other's sexuality.
I had the extraordinary experience of getting out there to protest men judging women's appearance and sexuality only to find women do it to each other on an equally destructive level. Women can't ask that the dominant forces in society stop treating us a certain way if we don't stop treating each other in that way. Roseanne wearing a red leather bustier is one. She really is beautiful, even though when she dresses up she is a parody of what was traditionally considered beautiful. They choose their clothing, they're having fun.