Holly threatened her with her eyes, verbally ignoring Sue s facetious comment. If you say so. I liked the dialoge. As a metter of fact that's how I gathered most information about the plot. You have to watch out, though to keep their sentences short and simple.
Teenagers use a TV variation language.
The descriptive part is impecable, but not for me. I have a flaw - I cannot imagine surroundings and detales very well. If the writer serves me too many - I skip them. I think you should cut descriptions by half. They are not vital to the plot anyway.