You've Joined a Cheap HMO Pedal-powered dialysis machines. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape. Annual breast exam conducted at hooters. Exam room has a tip jar. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep. Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket. Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana. The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.