Seeing those myths shattered is painful because it means admitting that we are no better than anyone else. In our own homes, in Jewish families and lesbian couples, college educated people in wealthy neighborhoods, gay men and transgendered people. In any one of those homes there could be an abuser. In any one of them there could be victims. Those myths, which are powerful even when we are aware that they are not true, are part of what allows the cycles of abuse and violence in our communities to continue.
Words can be powerful.
Words can shatter the myths that surround domestic violence. The words of victims, of survivors. Jewish families are exceptionally close-knit, with loving fathers and doting husbands. A victim's words can dispel this myth. He blackmailed me into not seeking a separation by reminding me that his family's history includes violence for disloyalty.