I ended up depressed, burned out, and guilt-ridden. At the time my husband really needed me, I fell apart. My weakness was frustrating to both of us. Despite our unfailing commitment to one another, we fell apart to the point that my parents needed to come into our home and care for us for six weeks because Jan and I had become incapable of doing it ourselves. But we do know that cancer is difficult for everyone in the family and that each member s response has a dramatic impact on the other members.
Some people are able to pull together and work through the process.
Jan and I experienced. Other families are just like us and have to deal with difficult, often ugly, issues. And in some families the crisis is so great that the marriage doesn t survive. We certainly don t have all the answers. We don t offer a formula of dos and don ts when cancer comes home.