Information leaked to the Benchmark by an unknown source hints that the beeping noise emanates from a transponder linked to an alien battleship from the star cluster Beta Centauri, approximately 4.25 light years from Earth. The transponder in Room 2125 signals the craft s arrival in our solar system, and will guide it to a docking place next to our area s other famous alien craft, the University of Illinois Assembly Hall. Why the alien creatures have chosen our University for their landing spot remains mysterious, but the news leaks hint that it may have something to do with cheese. CEE students are strongly urged to report any missing or stolen cheeses to the University Police Department s missing dairy items bureau. This was an innovative creation of a friend of the Benchmark.
Statements are hard to write.
Don t let this happen to you. Also, take heart, most likely none of you actually fit this category. Upon entering my junior year, it became clear to me why I was at this university. The classes finally started to have some meaning to them, it was no longer just meaningless calculus ad physics. Finally I reached the point where the classes actually applied to real world situations.