They phone a London number or my own number, and have usually become aware of the service through a magazine, newspaper, or radio programme, the NCT, or their health visitor. We do not give advice. Instead we offer reflective listening. The caller is given the number of another member of the Network who is nearer her whom she can also ring, and can ring me back if she wishes. All members of the Birth Crisis Network have attended at least one workshop in my home to learn how to listen.
Some women ring within a few weeks of giving birth.
But usually it is later. For some it is months or years. Some are pregnant again. Another pregnancy often brings feelings of dread as to whether it is all going to happen again and emotions they hoped they had laid to rest become threatening. Many women who are suffering from having been disempowered in birth are treated by GPs with anti-depressant drugs, when what they really need is to be able to talk with someone who understands, who does not try to explain or justify the treatment they received, or to criticise them and the way they feel about what happened to them, and who knows how to listen reflectively.