Love and limits are the two essential dimensions of parenting, needed at every step of development. High levels of affection and parental warmth combined with firm, consistent structure, produce children who are better able to master the challenges of the middle years. Parents who provide high levels of warmth but not consistent limits have a permissive style of parenting. This style makes few demands on children or allows children to negotiate their own rules. While children during the middle years may be more independent, they still need parents to set limits on their behaviors.
Some discussion is acceptable and healthy.
Too much discussion and children begin to control the parents rather than the other way around. Parents who provide high levels of structure but low levels of warmth or interaction have an authoritarian style of parenting. This style place value on obedience and respect. Children often feel resentful and angry under this style of parenting taking their feelings out on younger siblings or friends. Parents learn their styles of parenting from their own parents and have no choice but to repeat these same styles unless new learning takes place.