In my last column I wrote about the cultural roots of our ambivalence about pleasure. Now I'd like to talk about putting more pleasure in your sexuality. That's true in a life in general, and it's also true about sex. Erection, orgasm and ejaculation. In fact, the urge toward these goals is so powerful that they replace pleasure itself.
Sex becomes something to accomplish - even a chore, at worst.
Erections take on a mystical quality in man-sex. And in the rest of life. And so it goes. Depending on which survey you believe, the average length of heterosexual intercourse is 3-10 minutes. No one has surveyed Gay men, but I bet the data would be more similar than different.