Kids challenge the most benign statements and requests as a way of asserting their independence, and minor skirmishes become the new way of life. As tiresome as this process can be, the goal that teens struggle toward is crucial. Achieving a measure of independence is the necessary prerequisite for adolescents to be able to do so many other critical things later in life. They need to have a positive image of themselves as capable and separate in order to have good self esteem, a healthy sense of identity, and mature relationships with peers and significant others. It's a long process, though, and kids cover a lot of emotional ground as they negotiate this course toward autonomy.
Young children are dependent on their family for everything.
Then, during their early teen years, they twist, squirm and just about take up arms to be on their own. Along the way it seems like they reject parents, their family's values and traditions, and everything else that smacks of convention and the established social order. And just when parents think they've reached the end of their frayed ropes, the older adolescent settles in to a new inter dependent relationship with the family. He can do this precisely because he's finally got confidence in his ability to be independent. This new and surprisingly pleasant creature isn't dependent on the family anymore for rigid rules on how to behave, think, and make decisions, but neither does he have to reject parental opinions outright.