Work with the student to clarify what she or he perceives to be the costs and benefits of other options for handling the problem. Avoid judging, evaluating, or criticizing unless the student specifically asks for your opinion. Such behavior is apt to close the student off from you and from getting the help needed. It is important to respect the student's value system, which may be undergoing challenges or change, even if you do not agree with it. In these situations, it is important to refer to another College office.
Some people accept a referral for professional help more easily than others.
It is often reassuring to students to hear that you respect their willingness to talk to you, and that you want to support them in getting the assistance they need. When proposing a referral, it is best to do so in a direct and positive manner. There are many kinds of referrals. The best one is the kind to which a particular student will respond. Depending on the situation, have the student consider friends, clergy, family members, community agencies, and campus offices, especially those in the Division of Student Affairs.