The narcissist is sadistic because he was forced into expressing his own guilt and self-reproach in this manner. Externalising these internal traits is a way of alleviating internal conflicts and fears generated by this inner turmoil. The narcissist projects his civil war and drags everyone around him into a swirl of bitterness, suspiciousness, meanness, aggression and pettiness. He feels compelled to do unto others what he perpetrates unto himself. He gradually transforms all around him into shadowy replicas of his conflictive, punishing personality structures.
Some narcissists are more subtle than others.
They disguise their sadism. Its effect is to erode the subject, to humiliate, to create dependence, to intimidate, to restrain, to control, to paralyse. The victim internalises the endless preaching and criticism and makes them his own. She begins to see justice where there is only twisted logic based on crooked assumptions. Other Narcissists are less sophisticated and they use all manner of abuse to domesticate their kin and partners in life.