Naturally, the drive for independence and the drive for connection are at odds with each other so disconnection between men and women is inevitable. Men can be afraid that if they get too deeply involved in a relationship, they may lose themselves or their identity. As women yearn for a deeper connection, men can be filled with a sense of dread. Women are more afraid of being abandoned and men are more afraid of being sucked into a merged oneness. When it comes to the emotions we express, there is little doubt that conditioning plays a role.
Women feel less permission to know the sides of themselves that are angry and competitive.
Men are more in touch with this impassioned part, which is a powerful part of all of our emotional lives. Men have a difficult time expressing their empathic side, and women have a lot of permission to do that. We live in different parts of ourselves. In spite of our differences, at the core of each human being is a genuine yearning for connection. In this way, we begin to bridge the divide that separates us and change the patterns that drive us apart.