There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars and you follow them until you find better brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others becomes a predictable certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people.
Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce or be seduced is irresistible.
Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria now pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Madness carves its own reality. Credit cards revoked, bounced checks to cover, explanations due at work, apologies to make, friendships gone or drained, a ruined marriage.