I know exactly where you're coming from Rosebud1. My poor mother was suffering from breast cancer at the exact same time as Monica was. So you can imagine how difficult it was for me to watch those scenes during that terrible, terrible time. I do not have trouble telling the difference between fiction and reality. To me that is reality.
Soaps are fiction an easy way to escape from real life for a short time.
I agree that soaps are fiction and an escape from reality. But I don't need to be reminded of reality ever time I turn my soap on. During the very same time that Stefan was presumed drowned my family was reeling from learning about a tragic accident in which my uncle lost his life at sea. That said, tragedies will always happen in life and it would be impossible for the soaps to avoid them all. Truly, life is sometimes stranger than fiction, and the viewer must decide what he or she can handle.