I suggest that you focus on what you want him to do instead, and try to figure out what he s getting out of it. The trick is to find some other way to help him experience what he needs. Many children seem to need to hold something, and they use it to touch themselves and others. For some, it s like they have been told don t touch so often that they distance themselves from objects out there with a toy or a stick. And their need to do something with their hands leads them to grab what s available.
Some children twiddle their hair, or pull their ear lobes, or rub one finger until it is almost raw.
I would hope, too, that at a calm time when nothing much is happening, you talk with him about the difference between family and out in public. Tell him what the family places are, and tell him what out in public means to you, where the public places are. And see if he knows things you do in the family that he wouldn t want to do in public, or wouldn t want you to do like talk about him to a stranger, or mention to a friend a mistake that he has made. He may even hate it when you brag on him to a friend, though he thinks it s neat in the family. Just leave it that you have heard him, and if he tells you things he doesn t want you to do in public, assure him that you will try to honor his feelings.