Running is NOT an enjoyable activity. The inventor of the full retreat could not have been a guard member at the time. Sitting on the sidelines is incredibly frustrating. Stubbornness can be a good thing. Avoid spinning your metal pole during a lightning storm.
Wasting time is an art form in itself.
There are endless possible positions in which to sleep on a bus. Clothing is an option. Pain is a normal part of life. A five minute break in guard time usually means 2.5 minutes real time. Do not toss a flag in school hallways.