The previous scene is the sort of fiction produced by many beginning horror writers, those who haven't actually read much in the genre and instead base their stories on umpty-leven viewings of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street flicks. Slasher films and their ilk rely primarily on shock. And shock is a Jaycee-sponsored Halloween Haunted House sort of thing. Such effects are nearly impossible to create on the page. It's an extremely limited technique.
Shock is a quick, easy scare.
Empty, and to the audience, ultimately unsatisfying. They want horror that disturbs them, shakes them up, that reaches into their guts with cold bony fingers and stirs their wet parts around. As author and critic Douglas Winter has pointed out, horror isn't a genre, but rather an emotion. As Aristotle said, the only way to get to the universal is through the particular. Begin with your childhood.