Any help you could give would be wonderful. Dear Heartbroken, There's no accounting for love. And this guy sounds like he has so many problems you don't want to deal with - he has no green card, files no taxes, drinks and smokes pot daily, has no money and doesn't contribute at all. That'd be hard to explain to your children. Plus you don't want to support him forever.
Some guys are great to have affairs with, but horrible people to live real life with.
Your boyfriend sounds like one of those. However that doesn't mean that you won't yearn for him, mostly to escape the horrible situation with your husband. Of course someone will love you again, but you have to get away from the controlling boring husband whom you no longer love before you'll find someone to have a healthy relationship with. Staying with your husband for security is a sad life and you'll be ready to jump into the arms of the next sexy loser who shows up, just to get away from your unhappy marriage. Staying with a hot-tempered husband who's no fun will get worse and worse, and you'll be driven to even worse losers than the flaky Brit.