In marriage, people struggle with balancing two basic life forces, the drive for individuality and the drive for togetherness. About maintaining one's own course without pulling away or losing oneself in another. Our ability to do this results from how well a person, our parents and grandparents succeeded in becoming well-developed individuals while remaining emotionally in contact with family. Others may provide support on occasions for our individuation, however that strength and energy must primarily come from within each of us. Fusion is not intimacy, it is dependency.
Women often say they want intimacy with their men.
Intimacy is about showing another person your real feelings and inner-self, it requires vulnerability. So being intimate is a great challenge. It is complicated by the fact that in order to cope, many boys learned to put their hurts and vulnerable feelings far, far away. You may have to look deep inside to answer this, or it may help to look at your father and ask how you are different. Truth is not absolute but relative.