It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father. It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. The best thing to spend on your children is time. If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just start talking on the phone. Pictures and sound files are welcome, too. All jokes have been submitted by our users.