When he says he didn't want or mean to hurt her, he's telling a lie that he believes and wants her to believe. Another client of mine is dating a man who claims to love her and wants to marry her. Yet this man consistently operates as a solo act and shows almost no ability to plan his life with the woman he loves. Judge and evaluate people by their acts, not by their words. Words are cheap, acts are definitive.
Words mean nothing, and actions mean everything.
This applies to most interpersonal relationships in life, not merely to couples trying to negotiate a life together. A client of mine who really struggles to build his life up in therapy often misses sessions. He does this whenever we're getting close to material he finds painful. I just forgot. It was totally unconscious.