Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire. Topping a 2-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
Sand is alive.
Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse. A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent-or some similar combination. A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty. The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.