As the addiction progresses, sexual arousal becomes intensified by the risks, danger, and even violence, all of which increases the unmanageability. To call chronic addictive behavior just immoral is to ignore the cry for help of those who suffer but are no longer able to stop of their own free will. Doing this ignores the need for compassion by hardening our hearts. The codependency of others has as serious an effect on individuals as does addiction itself. It is very important not to minimize the seriousness of codependency and its disease aspects.
Spouses often blame themselves for the addict's behavior, seeing themselves as undesirable.
The difficulty in admitting their powerlessness over.the sex addict often leads to the codependents degrading or abusing themselves in attempts to maintain a sense of control. Many times the husband or wife feels as if they are going insane trying to cope with a sense of abandonment which is often felt even when the addict is still in the home. The codependent will often spend excessive amounts of time and energy looking for clues that the addict has been acting out, checking on amounts of money spent by the addict, or checking on where the addict has been. Progression for the codependent is seen in the break down of family and social relationships. Accidents or dangerous situations are often the result of preoccupation with the sex addict.