The full effect of incest or sexual abuse may not appear until a crisis related to the person's sexuality brings it to light. Adult abusive behavior is seen in relationships plagued by alcoholism and wife beating. The abused partner may not want to be touched by the other, although she may tolerate abuse and degradation for years before speaking out because she has invested so much of her life in the marriage. The irony is that the perpetrator is usually the one who complains that there is not enough touching in the relationship. We need to explore the basis on which we have made decisions in our lives regarding touching and being touched.
Sex can be powerful.
Partners need to communicate their needs and desires to each other. Conflict arises when we attempt to impose our assumptions and preferences on others. One difficulty many people face is realizing that sexual behavior unacceptable for them as teenagers may be acceptable in committed adult relationships. As adults we must learn that sexual communication is natural and need not be difficult. The skin is the most overlooked and underemployed sex organ of the human body.