I express my upset to the person who harmed me. I do it with compassion and allow them to be responsible for the consequences of their actions. To do anything less diminishes the other person and allows them to escape the consequences of their own karma to their spiritual detriment and our own. We have the mistaken belief that to be a spiritual person means we must always be sweet, nice and polite. While this might be possible, if we didn't have a very human side to us, it isn't realistic in this dimension of living.
Some people measure how spiritual they are by how much they suffer.
Their life, in this dimension, may not be very fulfilling but with humble arrogance they can say to themselves with pride, look how spiritual I am, look how much I have suffered. To put it plainly, as precious son's and daughter's of God, we weren't put on this earth to suffer. We were put on this earth to rejoice and celebrate our humanness with each other and to learn how to harmonize our differences so we can be there for each other without being a victim or martyr. In order for that to happen, we have to give up looking good and become authentically honest with each other. We all have a human side and a divine side.