For a while I hadn't been able to live with this hard awareness. It's paradoxical how we may lose ourselves seeking ourselves. Ron, too, hungers for freedom. He will go on and on with it, fated to fail, and, rich and powerful, he will remain trapped in his own device more securely than any of his followers. The price for both giver and receiver in this transaction is costlier than any money involved.
Truth exists elsewise, in simpler things.
To be with life as it is. Life in the wog world is often disheartening. We try one substitute after another for the magic of childhood. Science fiction writers, including L. Ron Hubbard, have depicted, along with outer worlds, our own sense of alienation. I will feel sadness at parting from my delusions and facing what I tried so hard to escape.