Two sisters who both suffered abuse at the hands of a grandfather but who never spoke about it until many years later. The experience of abuse is not restricted to one sex and indeed abusers are not invariably male. Back to top The Victim's Experience at the Time of Abuse Victims report feeling very alone with the experience of abuse. Often they are afraid of telling, because of fear of retribution or the consequences for the family. Victims frequently feel they will not be believed or taken seriously if they tell of what has happened, and this fear can be confirmed when they do try to raise the matter.
Victims frequently feel guilty.
The abuser may suggest they are to blame for the abuse or they may take responsibility upon themselves. Children naturally tend to assume responsibility for events that are not of their making, and this is particularly true in the case of abuse. The guilt is increased if the child has found any aspect of the abuse gratifying. Victims commonly report feeling extremely scared and confused by the abusive experience. Sometimes the experience of abuse appears to be wholly or partially forgotten for some years while the survivor continues with their life.