You're always right. This couple just went nowhere. And finally, watch the body language. Rolling eyes, looking out the window or turning your back on your partner are instances of rejection and hostility. You're not going to get anywhere until the source of the hostility is uncovered and dealt with.
Time outs are okay.
Even for adults. Rather than have tempers get out of control, take a break. Go for a walk and give yourselves a rest. You're not going to make much progress if you feel like you're on emotional overload. Sometimes, you can't get a situation resolved on one talk-through.