Though my Irish heritage, Catholic upbringing, and Notre Dame undergraduate experience pain me to say so, Knute Rocken got it wrong when he said a good loser is a failure. Good losers are winners for a variety of reasons. For example, they're winners because they tend not to get mired in self-defeating attitudes. It's hard to generalize what it takes to be a good loser. Every person is different.
Some people are naturally better losers than others.
Coming to grips with that fact enables us to better deal with those defeats and disappointments that just shouldn't be. Say for example, an overly litigious deposition or settlement negotiation with an unreasonable opponent. When I asked him how he did it, he explained that just about the time he was ready to explode, he'd excuse himself from the room, take a deep breath and calm himself down. After you've gotten some fresh air or used my counting trick, trust me, your better sense is likely to kick into gear. Though I'm not sure what allowed me to put aside my negative feelings for the lawyer, not to mention my honest belief that his client was guilty as sin, I made it a point to congratulate him and to wish his client the best.