No matter what you do, your partner has choices. They are trying to make sense out of a senseless act. Even with abuse, there can be a lot to lose if they leave, so victims are more likely to shoulder the blame in hopes that things will improve. But self defense is not the same as abuse. The truth is that while many people can provoke anger in another, they do not provoke violence.
Violence is one behavioral choice out of many a person can make when provoked.
Access the federal Office of Crime Victim Services, National Institute of Justice and the Violence Against Women office from the US Office of Justice Programs site. Increasing my safety in the relationship I will write down important phone numbers for myself and my children. Important Phone Numbers Police . Support Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I will find a person or place where I can leave extra money, car keys, clothes and copies of documents.