This is a myth, invented by persons during the so-called sexual revolution to justify their immoral actions and promiscuous behavior. When the past is examined in detail, when diaries are read and letters are perused, it becomes clear that Victorian couples enjoyed sex and sexuality. Our view of sex, however, was different from your own. In the twentieth century, the body of a woman went from being a precious treasure to be protected and cherished to an object to be gauked at, used, and discarded. Consider that now women who respect themselves, their families, and their future children enough to wait to have sex until marriage are scorned.
Sex is the method of conceiving life, of making children.
While those in your time deny this reality, we Victorians accepted this as a fact. Many of my fellow ladies desired to wait to have children until they had a good husband, a steady life, and a secure future. Passion arises from a shy glance, a flick of a fan. Passion is about desiring the other person, but it is also about giving those feelings time to linger and grow. Passion takes the feelings of lust and longing and amplifies them, making all experiences between a couple more meaningful and important.