Abusers expect children to serve their needs rather than fulfilling their own responsibility as adult caregivers for children. All children are harmed when they witness abusive relationships, whether or not they are directly assaulted. A nonviolent partner strives to use appropriate discipline and works to care for and protect children and animals. A batterer who admits past violence will probably blame their partner for causing it. One particular relationship does not suddenly create an abusive personality.
Violence tends to be taught by one generation to the next.
Batterers are much more likely to have experienced past abuse than are the people who enter into a relationship with them. A nonviolent partner works to stop the cycle of violence in his or her relationships. Suicide threats can be more dangerous to the partner than to the batterer because batterers commonly injure or kill their partner, children, or other family members before deciding to actually harm themselves. Take all threats seriously. The batterer may try to excuse the threats by saying that everyone talks like that.