Stevens found difficulty communicating musically with Miss Hsu. Her music contained too many Chinese elements to meet with his approval so her doctorate was stalled until he no longer had the veto power to prevent it. Even the best composers do not face an easy recognition in the United States. Many enter European contests for a performance opportunity. As with any of the arts, the public is the final judge.
Some composers forget to write for the audience and write only for themselves.
Without an audience, even at the family level, and the encouragement both can give, any musical career becomes increasingly complex. Your complaints are redundant and self-defeating. Fame has to be earned, or sometimes bought, take your choice. It is one way to obtain either a permanent visa or American citizenship. Contrary to what many believe, U.S. Immigration does not endorse marriage to an American citizen as valid justification for citizenship.