If we try to ignore or suppress anger, sometimes it comes out when we least expect it, then we feel guilty. Dislike for a spouse or partner whose personality has changed in response to illness is another feeling which creates guilt. Some formerly outgoing and social personalities become more reserved and withdrawn, while the person who used to be quiet and introverted may suddenly become very talkative, express emotions and act more social. A caregiver may miss his or her partner as they used to be, and feel guilty for disliking or feeling uncomfortable around them now. Families can help each other acknowledge the real changes that are happening and talk with each other privately for mutual support.
Support groups are also an invaluable help to caregivers who want to talk confidentially.
It is normal to have difficulty accepting the changes in the personality and abilities of our loved ones. Spouses, families, or partners giving care may feel that they should not go out socially or spend time for their own enjoyment while their loved ones have less freedom because of Alzheimer's disease. They often bear an unrelenting sense that they should be doing more for the other person, despite their inability to think of what else could possibly be helpful. Perhaps there is guilt related to past conflicts in the relationship, and the caregiver feels tied to taking care of their partner in repayment for these past hurts and pains. When someone sees their task of care as a punishment, it is usually detrimental for both persons.