If your partner just wants to have his sexual fantasies delivered on a silver platter, he's going to have to do some serious thinking about how realistic such a scenario really is. A bit of honest discussion might go a long way toward helping create a more workable and balanced set of expectations between the two of you. Then there's also the issue of the expectations you seem to have of yourself, which seem to be drawn in no small part from your readings of BDSM porn. It's a very very different thing than going through those experiences in the actual physical fact. Things which appeal to you at the arm's length of fiction might be terribly unpleasant or quite simply boring were you to do them in real life.
Sexual fiction is no different.
Of course, in fiction, the world is what you make it. Things that wouldn't necessarily ever occur to most folks in the process of actually having real-life sex are allowed to seem like second nature to a particular set of fictional characters. You could conceivably add those things in to your sex life at some point if you wanted to, but you sure don't have to use the things you like to read about in porn as a checklist for your own personal sex life. In sum, it's high time to unload some of this guilt, my confused and scared friend. It's time to own your own desires and let the chips fall where they may.