Older or more experienced children may need less intervention in their peaceful conflict resolution. A teacher can and should have the same expectations for all the children in the classroom. If it is not all right for one child to hit, it is not all right for any child to hit - even if, for example, the child hitting is under stress because parents are divorcing. Teachers can and should have very different responses to individual children. By knowing children well, a teacher knows if a firm response is needed or if a gentle reminder will suffice.
Teachers have choices about how to interact.
Sensitive interactions are based on what teachers know about children's needs. The following diagram shows the relationship between verbal and physical strategies and an individual child's peaceful conflict resolution needs. It is crucial that during conflict, teachers at a minimum, observe in order to assure that the situation remains physically and psychologically safe for all children. When a child's individuality is honored during the daily classroom experience, each child is connected to the teacher through an on-going, individual, meaningful, supportive, and compassionate relationship. When teachers know children well, they can provide the level of support each child needs in order to feel safe and learn during and outside of conflict.