It seems to be even more of a problem when one person suffers from pain and fatigue. So often there is some kind of tension or conflict in the relationship, and unless it's addressed directly, it seems to come out in the bedroom. You're right PatsKevin. It sometimes helps to do massage, or soak in a hot tub together, before trying to participate in sexual closeness. Connie O'Reilly Jerry, you're absolutely right.
Women seem to get an easier job in some ways.
But, it's important to remember, there are lots of ways to pleasure your partner other than intercourse. Ask you partner what is arousing and pleasuring. And experiment with new activities, such as manual or oral sex. You may want to print a piece of this one and share it. And it sometimes helps to get what you want tby giving it first.