In my case, my father was smart enough to know that name calling wasn't needed, or that name calling would have crossed a line that my mother wouldn't have allowed. But she did allow the other forms of verbal abuse, so aside from being a victim, she was also an enabler. She helped set the boundaries in which the abuse was allowed to happen. This is how people, and families, interacted. They are like oil and water.
Unhealthy people associate with unhealthy people, healthy associate with healthy.
But if we did know anyone healthy, THEY seemed unhealthy. From the time I was little, I swore I would never be like that, or that I would never allow myself to be like that. Yes, it happened. And it happened when I wasn't paying attention. I guess you operate within the parameters in which you were taught.