First, it's important to distinguish between necessary and unnecessary losses. Unnecessary losses are those which can be avoided, often by making accommodations or allowing for some range of choice. In later years sometimes the choices may entail decisions such as what bureau to take when moving to a smaller residence or even a choice as basic as whether to have either potatoes or rice for dinner. Recently an elderly woman confided that her family never asked her about any of her preferences. Instead they talked around her and she felt like a piece of furniture, or worse yet, like she was invisible.
Small accommodations increase the sense of personal autonomy.
And then there are the losses that can't be escaped. One way is to identify a gain that comes with the loss. Sometimes, as one ages the gains are harder to discern but they are there. The challenge is to discover and embrace them. Koenig states that successful aging involves having a purpose in life, having goals, a reason to live, a reason to get up in the morning.