This time, he had the necessary enquiries made, met the girl and after a few meetings got engaged to her. Yankel s parents now wish to pay the shadchan s fee, but they are not sure whether the original shadchan is also entitled to a share of the money. Answer Let us first define the work of a shadchan . If two matchmakers are involved, one making the suggestion and the other conducting the negotiations, they share the fee. The same principle would apply if Shadchan A persuaded the boy and girl to meet a few times, but it needed the intervention of Super Shadchan B to get them to continue till they got engaged.
Similar rules apply to real-estate agents fees.
The answer is that there could be a difference in the level of the fee. If the parties approach the shadchan , they are deemed to be employing him as their worker. However, if he took the initiative, he is at a disadvantage and can only insist on the minimum fee. In practical terms, this rule is only invoked if the shadchan only made the suggestion but did not conduct the negotiations. If he also brought the match to a successful conclusion, the custom is to pay him the higher fee, if he asks for it.