Windows has an ugly user interface. Trolls live under bridges. Bill sells you the proverbial bridge every time you buy something from him. Trolls tend to have huge pot bellies. Windows is insanely bloated.
Trolls jealously hoard their treasures.
Windows jealously hoards system resources. Trolls don't play well with others. Windows doesn't run other programs very well. Trolls hate competition and throw rocks at it. Microsoft hates competition and throws lawyers at it.