At the heart of the story we tell, at the deeper and deeper levels of meaning that we mediate in our tradition are these stories, the product of an active and holy imagination. Survivors have the ability to see clues about the future, and to take action based on it. People with a diagnosis look back, or are obsessed about the label. People who survive, look ahead. They refuse, in other words, to be controlled by arbitrary standards of society, yet they choose to abide by those standards most of the time for others' sakes.
Survivors avoid empty gestures.
The more empty gestures you invest yourself in, the less energy you have to live and love and be healthy. A cooperative non-conformist. I don't need it, but let's do it, and get on with the more important things. They convert what others consider accidents or misfortunes into something they can use. And they feel smarter as they get older, the ultimate wisdom.