With more men, the pressures are less, the expectations more reasonable. There is a great deal of theorising about why the church fails to attract men. But maybe part of the problem lies in the kind of church they are being asked to join. If the moment a man sets his foot through the door he is laden with a bundle of expectations and pressures he is hardly likely to stay around for long. It has to be said that it is mostly those in their late twenties and early thirties who really feel this pressure.
Younger men are more relaxed, less sensitive.
But the older the single man gets, the heavier the expectation. Because we have taken one choice and turned it into the only choice. In turn, this emphasis puts intolerable pressures on relationships. The older the man and woman are, the more pressure they feel to make this one count, to discover Mr. or Miss Right. What is needed, I think, is for the church to turn the pressure off.