Definitely troubling, more because of its nebulousness. Then there were times I felt a little guilty about tackling certain situations in a less than positive way. The realization and the words to express it in came gradually with a lot of help from outside. Something happens to you when you, your innermost being, your feelings are rejected, ignored, mocked, teased or diminished . Such diminishing or disparagement is Invalidation .
Some individuals know it better than others do.
Perhaps being a woman or member of a certain ethnic group can compound the problem. Invalidation is egalitarian, it distinguishes between neither gender nor age but Hein warns that the young, sensitive victim of invalidation starts mistrusting his own emotions. Violence in adolescents has been shown to have its roots in emotional pain born of rejection, put-downs and distressing criticism. Psychiatrist James Gilligan of Harvard Medical points out that emotional education for all adolescents is shamefully neglected by parents and schools, but it is needed today more than ever. OK so a little bit of reading convinces me I am not dueling windmills in my mind.