In her rape fantasy, the woman has complete control the rapist does whatever she wants him to do. In contrast, she has no control and lots of fear in a real rape. No woman can be raped against her will. This makes rape seem impossible in the minds of many people. In addition, not all rapes involve penis-vagina intercourse.
Some rapists insert foreign objects into the vagina.
Others may have oral or anal sex, or masturbate while abusing a woman. Sadistic rapists get their gratification solely by inflicting pain on their victims. The notion that women cause their own rape is partially related to the gender roles promoted by our culture. Women are taught to be attractive and seductive. On the surface, these restrictions are logical, but they would not avoid all rapes.