Thank You for your response. There have been many questions answered in this forum about lap dancing and HIV transmission. This is a crucial factor in evaluating your risk. Ultimately, what you call the activity you engage in isn't nearly as important as what actually happens.
Sexual transmission occurs through anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
You can come up with all sorts of scenarios, but if these factors aren't met, then infection can't happen. It sounds like you are obssessing with details and possibilities. This may be a sign that you have some negative feelings about the lap dancing activity you engage in. Ask yourself how you feel about getting lap dances. There is nothing wrong with getting a lap dance.