Show me a Friend who has never been driven to the edge of exasperation by our slow ways of decision-making, and I will introduce you to a newcomer to the Religious Society of Friends. Having a memorial meeting after the manner of Friends usually reveals Quaker faith and practice at their best and most helpful. The other experience is based on what our family felt and treasured at the time Nancy died the week before Christmas in 1998. The memorial meeting held for her honored Nancy as a special human being, spoke to the grief and loss our family shared, and was a testimony to the faith and support of West Richmond Friends Meeting. Again and again, I have witnessed other Friends as they were sustained and blessed by the way Quakers say goodbye to their loved ones.
Traditional funerals help, to be sure, but they are handicapped by certain inherent limitations.
Years ago I attended the funeral service for the father of a close friend. He was a man I knew well and admired, a leader in his congregation, and a man whose passing saddened many. It was orthodox and stated clearly basic Christian beliefs about hope and resurrection. But it could have been preached about a thousand other persons with my friend's father's name merely inserted in the blanks. As such, the sermon and service of which it was a part did no harm.