Deaf children, even more than hearing children must have clearly defined, stable expectations. If restrictions are continually changing, deaf children will become confused, and eventually their social and emotional growth may be restricted. Too often parents are initially excited and supportive, but later become discouraged and apathetic. An important choice that parents of deaf children face is between oralism and total communication. Oralism allows only speech, lip-reading, and amplification by hearing aids.
Total communication adds sign language and finger spelling to the skills of the child.
This is probably one of the most controversial areas in the field of deafness. Children taught by the oral method are forced to look at the person talking to them and, hopefully, will learn to read the lips. This practice is often frustrating to the deaf children as they do not understand what the person is saying. This method forces anyone dealing with the deaf person to communicate from a straightforward position, which can be very frustrating to the hearing person. These are the realistic limits of oralism.