The children only need begin a conflict, and there is the possibility of coming out on top. You win some, you lose some. Sometimes the game is played for recognition. Give me your attention. Love me more.
Some children learn to manipulate their parents better than others.
Deb and I were visiting in a home where this was so vividly played out. I try to appear to be listening to the adults, but I am usually observing the children. The little girl, having awakened bright and cheerful, was sitting at the table full of playful mischief. The mother awakened the little boy and carried him to the kitchen table, still sluggish with sleep and cuddled in his mother s lap. Seeing the entrance of her brother, the little girl s contentment disappeared and was replaced by a sleepy whimper, as if she were full of scary emotions.