In 1976, an estimated 669,000 abused children were reported to child protective services. The rage that parents can feel toward children, even and especially helpless and innocent infants, can be frightening. It's a feeling that bursts from some inky place within when a child is being impossible, as children can be. The malevolent impulses that come to the surface strip the mystery from child abuse.
Shame comes along and makes things worse.
This only happens to poor or stupid people. Yet a big step in quelling the impulses before they become action is realizing that virtually all parents know them. Research director Deborah Daro of the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse says that occasional frustration and anger are virtually universal and need not lead to harm. Not even the best of parents can soothe every infant or quickly solve every problem, and sometimes the best thing to do is leave the child alone. Then remember you are the adult.