People react to a difficult person. That allows a difficult person to manipulate, control, and influence, even if the reactions are negative. In a sense, the difficult person is creating those reactions, and there lies the reinforcement. It s kind of like parents and children. Once children know what the parents don t want them to do, they have the exact information they need to get the parents attention.
Some people really are control freaks and want power over others.
Most people want something that s less problematic some sense that they are in control of their own destiny and not hurtling out of control. Interestingly, there are also some people who are comfortable not being in control because they believe that no matter what they do, others are going to determine what happens to them. It s a psychological reward. Even if bad things happen to a person who is difficult, they have created them, and that has, at least for some people, a sense of being in control. If you are an old baseball fan you might recall that Reggie Jackson, who played for the Oakland Athletics and the New York Yankees, described himself as the straw that stirs the drink.