Men who never become obsessive or jealous become obsessive and jealous when presented with actual thought processes. Keep 'em guessing. Ask them about Linux near climax. This is particularly entertaining with computer geeks. Whining is not restricted to men.
Women just pick different topics.
The headlights in front of you are quite literally an oncoming train. That's a fucking train. Never tell sailors or paramedics their sexual behavior is risky. Anyone who demands to be handcuffed and whines when the key is lost deserves their lot. Spaghetti can be amusing as a toy, but was not intended for this.