The first thing you should do is to stop and slow yourself down and take stock of things. It's important to note that people in cyber affairs are generally very unrealistic about the person that they hardly know and often compare them to the one that they are living with that has all of the day to day difficulties that comes with marriage. Talk to your friends or see a therapist, but don't hesitate to get help. Often there is a trade off between what is best for the children and what is best for one or both of the parents. I would begin by trying to resolve the marital problem.
Verbal abuse can be awful, but it is possible to eliminate it.
If you can't move forward on your own, find a therapist. I am a woman who loves too much. He just keeps saying, this is the way I am. If your husband will not go to a therapist with you, I suggest you see one on your own. Therapy is an excellent setting to help you make a decision, like divorce.