It would also mean he wouldn t need to keep those young friends of his around. On the other hand, Smart Drawers would force baseball players to find another activity so they can stretch a half-hour game into the requisite three hours so the TV networks can sell plenty of advertising and Americans can get lots of naps. Zippers, shoelaces, Velcro, buttons we can all handle them. I can fumble with one for hours, all the time feeling like a complete dolt and the Anti-Casanova. Then, if she s stuck around through all that, the woman will reach behind her back with one hand, smile knowingly, and flip it open in a millisecond without having to look.
Women are truly wonderful creatures.
My only fear is that some scientist will get it in his or her head that the Smart Bra just isn t quite smart enough. Another amazing thing women can do is take a bra off without removing their shirt. I find this endlessly fascinating, not just because it s efficient, or that they do it without taking their eyes off the TV, or that they do it completely oblivious to the fact that they re defying the laws of physics, mathematics, and common sense. Hell, I can t even get one off with the lights on and an instruction video running. Assuming I get the opportunity, that is.