Try incorporating quotes from the passage to back up your claims. Up to this point quotes have not been used or cited. Organization and Style 11. The organization is good. Yes readers will understand the claim, but try to relate the evidence to the claim in a little bit clearer manner in body paragraphs.
Transitions are good.
The style is appropriate and suited to the subject. The weakest sentence is the wordy sentence third paragraph. The paragraphs are not too skimpy, however maybe the introductory paragraph should not be so long to avoid overpowering the other three body paragraphs. None seem dull, vague, unclear, or inappropriate. Spelling, Punctuation, Mechanics, Documentation, Format 18.