Visit the Web's top relationship sites . You can change someone's opinion, but not their philosophy or personal style. When arguing is necessary, it's not a bad thing. Successful couples devise their own rules of combat. According to John Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, people in healthy relationships vary greatly in their conflict tolerance.
Some pairs are volatile.
Others seldom clash, except when it is absolutely necessary. For many, that's a great rule. But some healthy couples rarely choose their battles because they don't mind little skirmishes that may lead to progress in the relationship. Many success stories, Gottman explains, are based on the idea that couples can argue a whole lot in the early days, and come to a greater understanding about who they are and how they fight. Copyright 1999-2001 MyPrimeTime, All Rights Reserved.