It all happens very quickly and can often be quite conclusive in impact. Type A people have difficulty finding friends. As relationships develop, the same questions pertain. Only those open with information about their thoughts, feelings, ideas, and sharing of facts earn high levels of trust in relationships from loving to managing. Being open earns commitments from others to integrate with your thoughts, feelings and the problems you see.
Transparency is the first step in earning leadership credentials.
This is one of the key battlegrounds between Anglos and Asians, as it is between males and females. Motivation relevant to our age and the future is not a matter of manipulation through use of fear or punishment, obligation and guilt, arranging contingencies for extrinsic reinforcers, or persuasive manipulations appealing to part-logics of personal interest. Only on a very short-term and dysfunctional basis is anyone able to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Motivation is the experience of alignment between personal growth and task challenges of the situation. Constructive flows of trusting living are non-hierarchical and presume a modicum of equality of status and interpersonal respect.