Thanks for hearing me out. However, we have to ask why anyone would want to wear white jeans in the first place. Blue or black, these are the color of the denim rainbow. Should one wear another color, endless heckling and taunting are called for. Never walk too close behind a fat lady after it has snowed and it is damn slippery unless you have a very good insurance policy.
Winter is by far the most delicious season.
Everything is covered in salt. More than once this winter I have had the skin ripped from my tongue from my overwhelming instant salt gratification. You may think I am weird, but I know you have enjoyed the salt in secret. Maybe you've licked one of your gloves when nobody was looking. I see through you all.