Pastoral care and counseling is one of several helping mechanisms that can be used to help victims gain control of their lives as well as to facilitate personal safety and wholeness. It is behavior used to establish the abuser's control and dominance in intimate relationships. Battering behavior is not caused by character flaws, mental illness, stress, substance abuse, prior experiences of abuse, the inability to express anger, or the provocation by female partners. Abusive men are deliberate in their violence deciding where, when, under what circumstances, in what way, and by whom they will act violently. Abusive men prosper from the violence because they obtain the obedience and loyalty of their partners, they are guaranteed of winning all marital disputes, they can maintain the status quo in their relationships, and they decrease the likelihood of having their partners leave.
Victims change their behavior in an effort to accommodate to their abusers.
Victims experience considerable physical and psychological trauma, including the loss of a sense of safety, the lack of respect for her privacy, feelings of isolation, loss of self-esteem and ability to trust others, increased isolation from others. Diminishment of feelings of hope, goodness, joy, love, and intimacy. Ministers are often the first people approached in times of crisis and trauma. The church may be the only social outlet that has not been restricted by the partner. The trauma may provoke spiritual crises that are not addressed by secular resources.