Any love interest will always be possessed by a demon. Size of shoulder pads indicates power. The more evil you are the more likely you are to laugh. Sharing a drink with another is like getting a secondhand kiss. You CAN have too many women.
Smart people wear glasses.
Music foreshadows plot. The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you'll get. Inversely, the harder you try, the less you'll get. When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence. Snow means love.