One more thing that I would like to add is that you need to find a bible believing church to attend. Many people shy away from church because they fear all kinds of things. But I urge you to find a church to attend. In my opinion, church is a place where people go to learn about God and His word, to praise the Lord, and also to rejoice in the fellowship of one another. It's about learning about God.
Salvation is a very personal thing.
It is a precious, precious gift from God. Jesus loves you. This I state with the utmost certainty. He is holding out his hand for you to take, all you have to do is be willing. Please do not be afraid to talk with your Lord.