I smile confidently, trying to act like I don't care, like I am strong and proud to be straight. In the months before this, I began to think about the possibility of being gay. I rolled the idea around in my head, decided to let it sit peacefully, keeping myself open. For now, I am straight. Straight as an arrow, not deviant, like the many short-haired women around me.
Suede is voluptuous.
She is just as huge on stage as she is up close. She waves at my family. Thankfully, feeling privileged, we wave back. She tells jokes between each song. They are the same jokes that she will tell at every performance I will come to see her at in the future.