Protecting ourselves from feeling rejected becomes a primary mission in life because we will not risk experiencing that kind of hurt again. Yet at the same time, we keep expecting rejection just around the corner. Yes, we expend great amounts of energy protecting ourselves from the possibility of pain. In order to do this we muster every coping skill we can, often building armor or erecting walks. Frequently we invent ways to dull pain by shutting off feelings.
Some people use drugs or alcohol or work.
Some people use Chap Stick. All of these ways can help us to emotionally survive when the environment doesn t feel safe. Expecting the Pain Not only do we protect ourselves by presuming rejection is out there waiting to happen, but sometimes by magnifying the drama of it as well. Perhaps if we worry about it we won t be caught off guard. Maybe by expecting the worst, whatever happens won t seem so bad.