These conversations about what men should do were very useful - as men should worry less about what women are and aren't doing and think more about what they as men are and aren't doing. The women in the group are just as capable, just as responsible, just as intelligent, once men stop occupying all of the space and learn to share power. Men worrying less about appeasing women and more about ending sexism is what must happen. This is how we need to think about racism. Too often I hear white activists talk about why more people of color aren't in the group - as opposed to whether or not we really have an understanding of how deeply racism impacts the issues we're working on and whether or not there are organizations and activists of color already working on these issues so that we can form working relationships.
White supremacy is a system of power.
The definition of white supremacy that I use comes from Sharon Martinas and the Challenging White Supremacy Workshop. All the while, white supremacy, maintains real power for the ruling class who control the major institutions of society. The impact white supremacy has on white folks is rarely looked at, especially in relationship to activism and organizing. White privilege means that white people don't have to think about racism. White privilege means that white people can think of themselves as normal and generalize universally that what they experience is the standard.