I bustle and hurry through life too much to step back and appreciate the fact that it's an enormous gift. That the fact that the sky is blue, that cats sit in our laps, that the moon can make the ground look like silver at midnight isn't something that I should take for granted. Every once in a while, I wish I had a burning faith in something. I think if I could just come home from a day that's beaten me up, or turn away from a thought that's about to eat me whole, and have that one thing to fall back on, it'd be a lot easier. I'm not sure how it happens, though.
Some people find faith through trauma.
Some pursue it by climbing mountains and fasting and seeking out teachers of wisdom. I have no idea what it would take for me to suddenly wake up and be utterly certain of something that could hold me through the good times and the bad. I sure would like it, though. I guess it's a wish to be a different type of person. If I could be the wide-eyed pilgrim, showing up on the monastary steps at the bottom of a deep valley.