They can also be instrumental in facilitating healthy grieving and healing. It is helpful to consider the following important aspects of a relinquishing mother's situation. Making the Decision Deciding to relinquish a child for adoption is a difficult one. In the past, when a girl became pregnant out of wedlock, it was almost a foregone conclusion that she would give her baby up for adoption. The pregnancy was usually kept secret.
Today there is a much greater social acceptance of unwed mothers and their children.
In fact, it is the girl considering adoption who meets with criticism. The decision to adopt is usually made only after great soul searching. The girl most often has a genuine concern for her child's welfare. Thoughtless or negative comments about adoption only make her decision more difficult and compound her feelings of guilt. While a girl cannot be completely sheltered from these comments, the shepherding family parents can take steps to minimize them.