It's free and easy. Ask your banker and broker. If you own your house jointly, don't assume that Judith will get if you die. A greedy relative and a homophobic judge may block your intentions. Since you have a son, the best legal protection are two legal parents.
Some states allow second-parent adoptions.
All states accept out of state adoptions. If adoption or moving to adopt is not an option, consider a joint custody agreement. More homes are lost to disability than death. Review your disability insurance for both of you. Life insurance products today offer tax-free accumulation in mutual funds under the umbrella of your life insurance.