This is not at all the case between the caregiver and the person requiring care. The relationship between a husband and a wife is defined by our culture, and we all participate in various forms of that same set of behaviors and expectations. You are going to be making this up as you go. And some are going to do this creation really well, and some are going to flounder. I have no brilliant skills or strategies to impart to resolve all of these difficult issues.
Turmoil is a constant.
It is a one-person operation. But when you are in a relationship, you become a part of the dynamic that the other person has to relate to and adapt to as a part of their dealing with all of the turmoil. How that process is negotiated and balanced is an important factor in how relationships are maintained or destroyed. You can let each other into the process and grow from it, or you can cut each other out and be pulled apart from it. And with all else in the relationship, you influence each other even in this process.