The Apostle James also wrote to the church explaining why the Christians in his day were having so much strife. Self-seeking is what causes this instability and disorder in all relationships. Envy is equally self-oriented because it is only concerned with getting for itself what another has. Every conflict you have and every evil thing begins with a concentration on self. First of all, self-seeking is completely contrary to love.
Scripture makes it clear that love is always more concerned about others' well-being.
Therefore, love and selfishness cannot co-exist. They are like oil and water that can never mix. Selfishness has many faces, all of which are ugly. Sometimes self is seen in a very bold and aggressive way when a person will verbally insist on having his or her own way. It's the straightforward demand of me first.