I was a widow but my mourning clothes hadn't arrived. Hospitals being the ordered places they are, fit nicely into the scheme of things at the time of death. They have processes and protocols that are instigated the second the life support machines are turned off. This was indeed a welcome relief. Finally something that was taken out of my hands.
Sudden death adds another dimension to the process- that of autopsy.
I again rationalized that this was out of my hands. In reality I was weak and fragile and not up to the confrontation. I took the trade off and besides, I wanted to know why he died. I needed a reason. I have never asked for or seen the full pathology report.