Matt you are dumb shit that has no life, no backbone, and a delusional sense of humanity. I hate being me. Oh, sure, you think it would be a cushy job, just hanging around all day, occasionally getting to entertain the ladies. Yeah, that would be the life, all right. If only it were so.
Some penises have it good.
Sure, some of them get mashed up in those leather pants, but man, those groupie girls make it worth it. I wouldn't mind a piece of that action, if you know what I mean. Hell, I'd be content being attached to some successful businessman or jock. I'm stuck with a short, hairy computer geek who lives in Ugly Chick Central. And even the ugly chicks won't sleep with him.