I used to be a 'fixer' and finally saw the light on that, you can become totally drained trying to 'fix' a situation from only one side. So now I am left with, either continue to stick around while H draws tighter and tighter within himself, leave or continue hoping that somehow I will find the answer. Well, there is always hope. I have to remind myself of that because sometimes it certainly seems like there isn't. Let this formerly selfish man tell you something about selfishness.
Selfishness is a killer of relationships.
Unless the selfish person is made to wake up, see clearly what he or she is doing, own it as a destructive thing and make a firm resolve to turn things around, ship wreck is certain. I don't know what it will take to get your husband to open up. It's different things for different people, but in general it takes something that knocks the wind out of their sails and makes them feel helpless. Now that they are humbled they are ready to look at things afresh. That's it in a nutsehll.