I did not blame or point fingers. At the time he seemed open to what I had to say. My request was that he be evaluated by a CD therapist. Today he is resentful, angry and refuses to see anyone. I told him I would check with him in a week or so. .
Young adults are different than teens.
We, as parents, cant make decisions for them. I feel like I have a strong professional support system guiding me through this hell, but I would like support from those that have walked this road. He was close to death 9 years ago, now lives a peaceful, productive life. It sounds like you have a good support system, but no mention of Al-Anon, which has been the biggest help to me over the years. Both of my children went through very self-destructive painful adolescences, and I forced both of them out of my house, in a loving way, when they were 19.