You don't need to take a child's bicycle away for three months. Such punishments are not only unnecessary but likely to be ineffective for the child and frustrating for the parents. An even higher ratio is better, he says, adding that you should spend most of your time rewarding the behavior you want. For example, if you want a child to learn to clean her room, begin by praising her for putting a few toys in the toy box. The next time, reward the child for picking up all toys and hanging up some clothes, thereby encouraging her to complete a little more of the task each time.
Studies show that varying the forms of punishment is more effective, notes the psychologist.
Consequences need to be immediate, and discipline needs to be consistent, says Professor Kazdin. You will find more opportunities to teach your child the desired behavior if your child feels comfortable and safe around you. Reward that positive behavior consistently. They also adapt quickly to punishment, which means spanking and yelling might work the first few times, but are less effective with repeated use. Most parents can testify to that reality.