The matted mess is common. The easiest way to find a 'friend' to do your daughter's hair is to look for some other kid with great looking extensions, say in the store, or at school, and then talk to her mother. Ask her where she got her daughter's hair done. Ask if she thinks that person would be willing to do your daughter's hair. And as for cutting her hair cuz you would have if she were white, please try not to feel too bad, you can't go with what you don't know.
White culture finds short hair cute.
It's that simple.