We reward kids for doing what we want instead of punishing them for disobeying. It is so pervasive that few of us pause to question its effects. In fact, I strongly believe that rewards and punishments really aren't opposites at all. They are two sides of the same coin, and the coin doesn't buy very much. What they can never do, however, is help children become responsible, ethical, decent people.
Studies conclude that rewards are ineffective.
In the process of writing a book on the subject, I've found hundreds of studies showing that rewards are strikingly ineffective at producing lasting change in attitudes or behaviors. Once the rewards run out, people go right back to acting the way they did. And no wonder. Consider the questions that children may ask themselves. In the short term, a sufficiently appealing carrot will usually work.