She firmly believed that, in spite of what many people think, couples today do have a sense of commitment, and do make every effort to save the relationship. True, many more marriages are breaking down, but in her opinion, only a tiny minority on their wedding day feel they are not making a commitment. But because of the pressures of life today marriages are under stress and breaking down. Often at the end of a day, after coping with work, traffic, children, homework and housework, couples have little energy left for maintaining their relationship. Turning to communication, Ms Missen spoke about gender difference and the impact it can have on a relationship.
Women talk to think, men think to talk .
Each gender needs to learn to appreciate the difference in their ways of communicating feelings, so that neither is left feeling powerless. Ms Missen concluded that, in her experience, couples today are much more clear in their minds about the whole concept of equal partnership and this makes her optimistic even though marriage may be going through an unstable period. The keynote addresses were followed by workshops on Cohabitation, Interchurch Marriage, Marriage Nurture, Separation and Breakdown and Second Relationships. A full report of the keynote addresses and the results of the workshops can be consulted in the RCB Library. This was sent to all clergy in June 2000 as an appendix to their marriage preparation pack Towards Marriage .