And if you have, and if he has accepted you and loved you for the past 18 years the way you described, how could you not believe that the Church would also accept you and want you back. That's important to remember. A good example of this working the way it should was when the Archbishop of New Orleans ex-communicated members of his archdiocese who practiced and promoted school segregation in the early 1960's. The Church has always taught that all sin, though personally committed, has communal consequences.
Some sins have a greater affect on society than other sins.
One such sin the Church judges in this way is abortion. Nevertheless, the Church wants to personally reach out to you and embrace you - it has already done so through your husband, your children, and your family. That is certainly sufficient for God, and it should be sufficient to your confessor also. Sadly, if you would run into a confessor who might be non-understanding, then it is your confessor who is sinning and not you. God is more merciful than even the Church, and God's love and forgiveness go well beyond the confessional box.