Some times it's the result of their choices other times the result of choices others made. I talk to them about learning what God says about their situation. Every time you strap yourself into a airliner you can be sure the pilots know their emergency procedures like the back of their hands. If an engine fails on take-off, their eyes know immediately which gauges to focus on, instinctively their fingers start flipping switches, their hands and feet adjust the controls. These are things they habitually review when the engines are humming and everything is running tickeddy boo.
Wise people learn the skills of self-encouragement in life's green pastures when the sun is shining.
Learning emotional survival skills in the heat of life's pressure cookers is difficult. Learn the skills of self-encouragement because your future is influenced by the encouragement you receive today. But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. One way we encourage others is by speaking words of acceptance and praise to them. Deep inside us is a bucket labelled, praise and acceptance and its essential to our emotional well-being that this bucket be filled.