The soul is the aspect of who we are that is most lasting. When the soul is attracted to someone and recognized as a mate, then with that person, when we experience a soul chemistry, the physical, emotional, and mental chemistry can also be sustained. Lasting physical attraction must find its source in our souls. This usually happens when you are not really looking, but you are ready for your soul mate to appear. You need to know yourself and be content and confident on who you are before you can open up to a soul mate.
Soul mates are never perfect.
They will be missing some of the ideal qualities you have in mind. They may not look the way you thought they would look and have flaws and baggage that you don't like very much. But when your heart is open and you get to know them, they are somehow perfect for you. What Dr. Gray says about the stages is that both partners need to go through them simultaneously. There is no real time frame for all the stages.