When the alien career counselor first went online, I could basically go off and mock anyone who wrote in. Now the questions are legitimately serious. Personal bankruptcy must make it awfully difficult to find work in financial services. I hate to shirk my fake counseling duties, but it sounds like you could use the help of someone who actually knows what they're doing. Employment offices are full of highly educated people who should be able to give you a push in the right direction.
Some evil corporations are busy designing marketing propaganda disguised as learning material.
They're hiring teachers, but most educators have ethical standards. It's amazing how short you can make a question when you stop using real sentences. We did an article last year about artsy jobs requiring no talent. Remarkably, it generated no mail from angry talentless people. I'd steer you toward design of some kind.