Unfortunately, Joe froze stiff, and while the local rescue crew was digging him out, the surveyor's stick got lost in the snow. It is probably deeper by now, though no further measurements have been attempted. You will be relieved to learn, however, that Joe froze so quickly he didn't have time to suffocate. So he was carried down to the Bloated Goat where, with liberal ministrations by Drs. Jim Beam and Jose Cuervo, he is recovering rapidly.
Whiskey is six dollars a shot.
Tourists are recommended to bring their own firearms as rentals go fast, especially when the weather keeps everyone in. A round on the house will be provided to anyone who brings up some new bar stools or tables as there is a severe shortage of furniture since the big blizzard the week before Christmas. On the sunny slope, in the meantime, daffodils and grape hyacinths are blooming again, and the first crop of salad greens is almost ready for harvest. Several attempts have been made to erect a greenhouse so tropical fruit could be grown, but falling boulders have always shattered the glass thus far. The road is usually plowed after storms in time for the mail to come in.