Ono didn't release the tape until after the decision by Attica State Parole Board had been made public. It is not easy for me to write this letter to you since it is still painful for me to think of what happened that night and verbalize my thoughts logically. At first, I had refused to acknowledge John's death. I was screaming inside myself. I realized then that it was not a time for me to simply wallow in my own pain.
Violence begets violence.
If it is at all possible, I would like us not to create a situation which may bring further madness and tragedy to the world. Chapman said he read comments by Ono over the summer in which she said she began shaking uncontrollably after he shot Lennon to death as the couple were about to enter their Manhattan apartment building in 1980. I mean, here's a person that can't control their body, and that really hit home. I felt her pain then, and I can honestly say I didn't even want to feel it up until then. It's a horrible thing to, you know, realize what you've done.