Whatever you do, don t show up at the polls tomorrow. Big time, added Bush running mate Dick Cheney. Members of the African American community reacted favorably to Bush s unexpected attention. You know, I thought he was going to ignore us totally, said Linda Waters of Miami, and I was just going to vote for Gore. But that slimy cokehead Bush was right.
Voting is stupid.
Count me out. Then again, Bush made sure to point out that if he had been president, I couldn t have aborted my other seven potential children. Leslie Aaron is a true American Hero, just like the gazillions of young men who died in Vietnam in 1923, Bush remarked with decidedly non-fuzzy arithmetic. I recommend that all affluent women aged 30-55 not visit schools or any other polling establishment in November. Bush concluded that if a soccer mom feels she must violate her civic duty not to vote, she should choose a third party candidate unlikely to win.