All of us find ourselves in disagreement with others sooner or later. I ve had conflicts with my husband and children, conflicts at work, and occasionally conflicts with strangers. Some of them remain painfully unresolved. I have lost relationships, good friends, because we were unable to resolve differences, or at least learn to live with them. In her new book, The Argument Culture, sociologist Deborah Tannen describes how our society has grown increasingly contentious in the last few decades.
War metaphors pervade our public discourse.
We hear of the War on Drugs, the Battle against Cancer, the Campaign for Better Schools. In war, there are only two sides, and the goal is to win. Our constant use of war metaphors increases our tendency to polarize issues. There seems to be some underlying assumption that we get to the truth through opposition. You re either for us or against us, and only one of us can be right, can have the truth.