Oranges make excellent biceps and a well-placed banana or two can dramatically improve the line of your crotch. Of course, an alert girl will probably spot the deception if you get her into bed, but by then it'll be too late. I think there's a rule that if you manage to trick a woman into going to bed with you, she's not allowed to change her mind once she sees what you look like without your clothes on. So remember, chaps, no undressing until she's got both those feet up. If you've tried all of the above and still can't get a woman to go out with you, you might want to try one of the following tricks as a last resort.
Women often fantasize about seducing a Catholic priest.
And getting a grip of a priest is probably a woman's equivalent of that. You'd better not try and seduce me, though, what with me being a priest. A woman would have to be really fit to go to hell for. Oh yes, we priests don't put out for just anyone, you know. Then casually hum the Thorn Birds theme and wait for her to rip your clothes off.