It is not honoring to the Lord Jesus Christ or to the dead in Christ to become abnormal in one's grief or to perpetuate one's sorrow to the point of mental disorders. When you have disaster and trial and heartache what is needed is the reflection on application of doctrine, not pity from others. Your source of comfort in time of grief and sorrow must come from the Lord, i.e., from the metabolized doctrine circulating in the right lobe of your own soul. In the status of self pity there is no hope and no doctrine. It's your own volition which puts you into self pity and it's that same volition that must decide to exit the self pity game.
Self pity leads the weak believer into a false sense of self importance.
People who are full of self pity are arrogant though they seem to be humble and broken in spirit. They are in reality very much stuck on themselves and quite arrogant. If they weren't stuck on themselves they would make others feel good rather than try to elicit pity from others by making them feel bad. Sorrow from a fragrance of memories concerning a lost one is okay but don't expect others to share your loss. Your grief and sorrow should be between you and the Lord.