Suggesting that a restaurant offer peanuts in individual serving bags is a legitimate request. There's less opportunity for accidental contamination. You are NOT the only person in your town that has to worry about these things. You may be the most alert, and your efforts to remove potential dangers may be the one thing that prevents another child from having a fatal reaction. You don't have to make your entire household suffer because one person in the house has an allergy.
Simple precautions are very effective.
Some families completely removed any peanut product from their house, but you can accomplish a safe environment without doing this. Remember that it is your child's life you are dealing with. No precaution should be consider too much. If your child is just starting school, sit down with the teacher and have a very thorough talk about the situation your child is in. Even if the teacher has dealt with peanut allergies before, you have the right to voice your concerns and make special rules for your child.