But he is always allowed to fail you. This whole mess sets you up for failure, for feeling like a failure, for believing that you deserve to be abandoned, if you can't deal with him and his disease. You may even start to feel terrified when he decides to get sober. All he's done is remove the booze. True sobriety does not behave like that.
Sober people are sane people .
They don't threaten their families with abandonment just because they have stopped drinking. Because you have lived with his sickness, his distortions of reality for so long, that you have come to believe them as truth. He is the one who is playing Russian roulette with his life. A person can't go on for long, treating only one-third of the disease of alcoholism, and stay sober. You have nothing to lose .