Children feel that same urgent desire to be with their dads in a close, caring relationship. They yearn for male guidance and leadership, but too often it isn't there, so many children are forced to go on playing the game of life with that desperate, all-consuming thirst. But those only provide temporary relief and soon make the thirst even more severe. The only truly satisfying drink comes from a father actively and purposefully pouring his life into his children. Other studies have concluded that the children from these households face a much greater likelihood of problematic behaviors such as dropping out of school, being sexually promiscuous, giving in to peer pressure, engaging in drug and alcohol abuse and committing delinquent acts and crime.
Urban fathers have some special challenges and barriers to overcome.
Because of the high rate of fatherlessness and lack of male role models, many urban communities are mother-focused. Moms have courageously stepped up and taken responsibilities that men have ignored, so children have very strong attachments to their mothers. That can be a healthy situation, but often it creates another barrier for the father as he seeks to connect with his children. The mother is used to being in charge of the child, and she doesn't want to give up any control to a man who hasn't proven himself trustworthy. It's important to encourage the dads to respect their children's mother, work as a team with her, and over time, win back her trust.