The important issue here is to expand your desires within your primary relationship. Go out on a date together at least once a week. Plan a special rendezvous at least once a month. Think of your past romantic times together, share your new fantasies, and let the mood become erotic. Your question about sexual addiction may relate to this search for intensity.
Sexual addiction is behavior that is out of control and compulsive.
Sometimes one feels undeserving of his spouse and unconsciously ruins the relationship. It's important for you to make a decision about your marriage. You seem motivated to get some help. This is a situation in which therapy would be ideal. Susan Rabens, LCSW, a psychotherapist, has had a private practice in San Francisco and Berkeley, Calif., for 26 years.