Maybe it is the so-called 'tone' that they are using, or the 'tone' that the reader is inserting at reading time. I've been accused of arrogance and using 'tone'. I think if my name were Joseph I would be able to get away with even less. That's my own gender bias, but self-applied only, I swear. Then there is the notion that a person reading a post from a female reads with a female voice in their head.
Some people find female voices non-intimidating.
Some find them relaxing, and often begin to ignore, because the voice sounds uninformative to them. Now that's gender bias, appled after the post is made, and completely out of our control. I have always been very direct. N. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue. Josephine, I have seen women post messages like you describe.