During the middle school-age years, kids begin to wrestle with their sexual orientation. So we have the roller coaster ride of burgeoning sexual orientation and a homophobic culture combining to make your son's life very confusing and frightening. You are correct in stating that same-sex attractions and crushes are common at this age and stage of development. You are also correct in observing that much more attention is spent on worrying about these attractions today as opposed to when we were young. Adolescents today are bombarded by mass media stories of gay and bisexual entertainment stars.
Sexual orientation is much more blurred for today's adolescents.
Nowadays it's hard for a child your son's age not to interpret a passing same-sex attraction as proof that he's gay. Same-sex attractions do not automatically mean that you are a homosexual. Admiring someone of the same gender is not the same as being gay. You and your husband need to let your boy know that homosexuality means having a consistent attraction to and preference for having sexual relations with a member of the same sex. The continuing desire to have sexual experiences with a member of the same sex is very different than having an occasional attraction to members of the same sex.