Even after those Crips jumped me and beat my head to a bloody pulp I was only mad enough to rate one and a half K's. Sad to say, it was the highlight of my year so far. Most people don't know this, but February is also Fat History Month. You know, your problem is you're always selling yourself short. No, my problem is I sell myself large.
Subtle humor is the best.
Ah yes, the big V.D., Valentine's Day, that lovely romantic holiday I can't stand. As you can imagine, St. Valentine isn't a good friend of mine. Wear pink heart-shaped glasses and matching pocket protector. Make out with photograph of Heather Locklear. Buy giant box of chocolates.