Each comes in turn according to the timing of the life. We can become quiet inside and turn things over to our Higher Power. There are greater gifts waiting for you here. Forgiveness is detachment from how we insist things must be. The act of release comes only when the energies of the issue have played themself through and there is surrender to the greater understanding of things.
Self forgiveness is sometimes the hardest.
There must be a full understanding and acceptance of the murky darkness of our nature before release come. Forgiveness is accepting the unacceptable in ourselves and seeing it in a new light. It is to know that all that is within us is of human nature. Forgiveness is to go past the hurt of the little self into the connection with the greater Self. To forgive is to surrender.