Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't give a hoot if someone notices your new haircut. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.