But avoidance of ceremonies like funerals or refusing to discuss a traumatic incident only delay the beginning of the healing process. And that's fine. As long as the behavior isn't inappropriate, the form of the expression doesn't matter. These beliefs could include one's sense of invulnerability, expectations of sense and order in one's life, even religious and philosophical convictions. When fate intervenes, upending a person's worldview, new beliefs have to be created that incorporate the trauma and make sense of the world in a new, meaningful way.
Survivors are initially unable to devote attention to any other aspect of their lives.
People working through this process can often feel numb, isolated, or fear reconnecting with others. Rando states that in this final stage, survivors are able to transcend the experience precisely because they've developed a deeper and more meaningful understanding of life and their place in the world. The crisis becomes a chapter in your life, one you've learned from-and you can move on. No one seeks out crisis and tragedy in life. But at 83, Douglas knows that setbacks are inevitable.