Before marriage a couple is not in an irrevocable covenant of personal self-giving. A conjugal act that expresses only a temporary commitment is not conjugal at all. In other words, the act in the bedroom has no sacred meaning unless it is an expression of the marital sacrament celebrated and forged at the altar. Cohabiting couples can never elevate their act in a sacred way to make it meaningful because they have not entered their lives into the sacred bond of marriage. All is not lost, however.
Some couples see the pitfalls of cohabitation and are living chastely before marriage.
They learn how to integrate their sexuality within their whole person and direct it according to God's loving plan and thereby act according to its divine-given meaning. They grow in the virtues of temperance and free themselves from their own whims and self-gratifying desires. Some cohabiting couples have broken their living arrangements in order to carry on a true courtship with each other which respects the sacred meaning of sexual intimacy and marriage. The philosopher Paul Tillich has said that while the anxiety of ancient times was death and that of the Middle Ages was condemnation, the chief anxiety of the modern epoch is meaninglessness. The modern's anxiety can be placated with regards to the meaning of sex by following God's plan.