Many people think domestic violence is a problem with the relationship and seek couples counseling or individual therapy. Unfortunately, experience has shown that couples counseling can increase the danger to the victim and give the batterer dangerous support for blaming the victim for the violence. Substance abuse does not cause domestic violence. Some people are abusive when they are drinking or drugging, but others are not. Getting clean and sober will solve the substance abuse problem but not the violence problem.
Victims often report that even when their partner became clean and sober, the abuse continued.
In the past, it was thought that domestic violence was about problematic anger. It is now known to be about the abuser's desire to control a partner using whatever behaviors are necessary. Many abusers are not angry when they use a control tactic. Abusers in treatment often say they used their expression of anger as a way to intimidate and control their partners. Anger management programs are not designed to address the fundamental causes of domestic violence or safety and accountability issues.