Not a simple task. And certainly not simple when brain damage impairs the brain's integrity. We are forced to deal with both the practical and the spiritual, and reconcile perspiration with inspiration. To be able to reconcile the gift and curse of brain damage, we must have a deep commitment to integrity and the challenge we face in moving back and forth between the body and the soul, reconciling the loss and the gain of brain damage, without denying or exaggerating either. Common practice often dictates keeping a stiff upper lip and with stoic courage we are to resist allowing ourselves to feel the pain, and the discouragement, even the despair, of tragedy.
Vulnerability is feared as a sign of weakness or as a danger to functioning.
Denial of the cost is often held out as a strength and, therefore, our integrity is violated by this denial, and paradox is not only not reconciled, rather we attempt to eliminate it. On the other hand, we can become victims of the emotional toll that tragedy exacts. Overcome by the pain and anger, fear and loss, depression and despair, our integrity is again violated by denial. Our refusal to acknowledge the strength, hope and gift that is still available to us. Rather than reconciling the paradox of the gift and curse of tragedy, victims are swallowed by the curse.