Indeed, adultery and divorce are present in every human society every known. The reality is that the course of relationships between two people has never been a simple one. People enter relationships with expectations, and the partner in the relationship is not always prepared to fulfill all those expectations. In fact, it is a virtual certainty that they never can because many of those expectations are not reasonable. But when, after a while, the woman does not continue to live up to their phantastic expectations, conflicts and resentments start to develop.
Women can, of course, have just as unrealistic expectations of men.
Someone who meets his criteria for having a healthy affair is hardly likely, in my experience, to have any interest in having one. There was a time when marriage was seen as a social arrangement that had little to do with romance. I doubt if there are any of us who would want to buy into that today. For us, entering into a committed relationship is finding a life partner who excites us, who helps us experience life more fully, a person who knows us and appreciates us, a person who stirs our soul, and a person for whom we can do all of the above. The dream is that we can have a relationship which is so perfect that we will never experience frustration in it and will never be tempted to go outside it to seek the things that should be part of it.