University of Toronto Psychiatric Services. Dr. Zener urged me to have myself hospitalized. The implication that I was sick was validating, but suicide would be cleaner than hospitalization.
Suicide is finite and private.
Hospitalization is indefinite and public. I would live in failure. I sat through countless lectures fearing and hating everyone in sight. Weakness was a betrayal of my moral high-ground. Now I hate with even less justification.