We cannot turn our lives into some sort of fortress as a means of self-defense. We cannot continue protecting ourselves against hurts and insults and injustices by reacting in the same spirit. The love of God in our hearts is God's kind of security. That is how Christ faced the opposition and the hostility of men. We do not need anything more than that.
Selfishness is always defensive.
Love is outgoing and puts first the welfare of the other person. We are not here to save face, position, or prestige. Pride will not accomplish that. Rejection will not do it. The spontaneous love of Christ in our hearts makes us aware of the deep needs of others.