Now you'll smell like a genuine undead creature, fresh from the grave, and your breath will be redolent with the charming odor of old, stale blood. The shock is harmless, but you'll soon pick up a deep subconscious terror of the cross. Pop one right away and tell yourself you'll turn into a bat. And it's a good thing that vampires love the taste of blood, because the undead body no longer needs food. And don't complain about the funny taste it leaves in your mouth, or the way it stains your teeth, or how all that salt makes you thirsty.
Vampires love that taste, and thirst just naturally gors with the territory.
This marvel of science contains large amounts of delta-aminolevulinic acid, porphobilinogen, coproporphyrin, uroporphyrin and protoporphyrin, which will make you hypersensitive to the sun. Now you'll have to exert yourself at avoiding daylight. Now I know you've been wondering why the Vampire Training Kit came in such a big crate. Take a shovel and line its bottom with several inches of fresh, damp earth. Then open the bag of Graveyard Goodies and sprinkle its contents over the soil.