This is the nature and essence of human Free Will, and now I know it. Well, I have spent the last few days crying my eyes out, since my divorce is becoming finalized. I never understood why. It never worked. It is not something you learn.
Science knows that now .
I did learn to fake it - to fix a car, do karate, to earn a living, haggle with insurance salesmen, and such. I felt uncomfortable and wrong somehow very, very deeply inside. I am warm. I care about feelings. Now I know why.