Perimenopausal symptoms can occur years before the period stops. When women go to the doctor they will likely be told they are not menopausal. Without understanding that the difficulties they are experiencing have a physical cause they may determine their relationship is the explanation for their discomfort and loss of well being. Midlife is an excellent and appropriate ime for reevaluating one's priorities but making rash long-term decisions while in the midst of it is not always wise. A husband can also struggle with the anger and unhappiness his wife experiences.
Sex causes a great deal of difficulty.
A temporary loss of libido is common for about half of midlife women. It may be due to vaginal fragility and dryness, which is easily corrected. Or, it may due to the shift in hormones. Sometimes the addition of testosterone to a natural or synthetic hormone regime is helpful. Increasing the dose of estrogen can have a reverse effect.