I try sick guy, stumble in the office coughing, clothes rumpled, sleepless look of imminent death on my face. So I start hitting on Lily, the mall-haired brunette who sits across from Val, hanging around her desk, bringing her coffee and bagels in the morning, with three separate tubs of flavored cream cheese, which I place in a little pyramid on top of her monitor so Val can see how interest in my new friend extends to the cutest details. But Val remains calm, regards me as she would an empty office chair. Then one afternoon as I'm tearing out my nails over what to try next she wanders by and casually asks me if I know anything about replacing windows. A branch fell from a tree in her yard and took out a few panes of glass and all the repairmen she called are booked for weeks.
Windows look good as new.
I've been dreaming about. We both call in sick the next day and spend it in bed testing the limits of our desire, arranging our bodies in ways that redefine what it means to sin. I forget myself for what seems like months, pledge to be Val's one and only for as long as she'll have me. To my unending surprise, she returns the sentiment and before I know it we're in front of the judge making it stick. The thing about decks is you've got to keep after them.