He smokes, and he drinks about 15 to 20 cups of coffee a day. As Cochran goes through several days of meetings with students, faculty, and local ministers, he leaves all his meals half-finished. Again and again during the days I spend with him in Mississippi, Cochran returns to that pivotal moment when Jones told him his son should be euthanized. He would still be in the movement, he says, if this had not happened. I'm not so sure.
Testimonials sound better with dramatic turning points, but life is usually more complicated.
At least as important to Cochran's change, I suspect, is the paradox that at Aryan Nations he had found his vocation. One night I was doing guard duty. It was 1 o'clock, and a taxicab pulls up to the gate. Aryan Nations is 10 miles from the nearest town, so it's not like taxis are cruising by all the time. A man gets out and says he wants to see Pastor Butler.