Now our sweet little friend has had a new adventure and she's anxious for you to hear about her very first day at school. Mummy took me to school today.
School is a big building, bigger than the whole of French, and filled with lots of children.
Their Mummies and Daddies send them to be head-ucated by teachers, teachers are just like Mummy and Daddy but three hundred feet tall, with ugly spectacles and pongy breath. Daddy said they should bring back the rod for late comers, as it never did him any harm. Mummy said if he was such a shining speci-men why did he sleep with a book in his underpants. I don't know what Mummy said then because she put her hands over my ears. We walked all the hundreds of miles to school, and I met my teacher, but she didn't drink tea or look like a chair.