Family dynamics are, at best, a tinderbox situation. Brutal honesty lights the fuse that fires the flames. Resentments expressed turn into bonfires of rage, shattering children and adults in its uncontrollable path. Minds become cluttered with alternating fantasies of revenge and reunion. Separation and individuation are normal and healthy phases of infancy psychological processes, which are begun in the second year of life and are reworked throughout childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
Separation relates to personal autonomy, independence, self assertion, and freedom of choice.
Individuation relates to identity, uniqueness, having your own interests, points of view , interests, likes and dislikes. It is also an inborn striving for children and like separation can either be aided and fostered by parents or thwarted and considered BAD by parents. Dysfunctional families need to punish both these struggles in their children. Often those who choose separation and individuation are seen as traitors to the family. Autonomy and health are seen in these families as moving too far away.