Doris Deloris is important to this story, but we'll get to her later. Anyway, some people think Doris Deloris wanted a vampire lover so badly, she made one up. This is incorrect.
Vampires do exist.
They hold important offices in our corporations, governments, and duck farms. Vampires have always been essential to our economy. Barry, the Vampire, however, was an exception. All great geniuses are. Shortly before this story begins, Barry, the Vampire had decided to retire and enjoy a little peace and quiet.