F or this reason, our own Office for Separated and Divorced tries to get a message to divorced people that their parish involvement is still welcomed and needed. In the Twin Cities, we are fortunate. Ministering to the separated and divorced, however, can be particularly awkward. Members of this population are not about to go around telling everyone that they are newly separated or are in the process of divorce. Unlike a person about to have cancer surgery, those in troubled marriages or on the verge of divorce frequently do not know whom to trust.
W elcoming parishes where people know each other, though, have an edge.
They establish an attitude from the beginning that all individuals can count on a faith community that cares about them personally. Further, everyone can benefit from a parish education program that teaches how the Church looks upon divorce, remarriage, and the myths that surround these topics. When, for instance, a parish says it is going to have a family Mass, a family picnic, a family dance, or a family fun day, most divorced members will exclude themselves automatically. Parishes can find ways to include the single parent as well as the widowed, the never married, the childless, the Catholic partner in an interfaith marriage, and others. But doing so may well mean redefining what people usually think of as family.