It wasn't a gift. Gifts don't create good self-esteem. Gifts don't promote learning and good behavior. The only way to have good self-esteem is to be the best you are capable of being. Parents need to balance their treatment of their children.
Teens are in training for the real world.
If you praise poor behavior, you will get poor behavior. However, you cannot simply ignore behavior you don't like. Teens are fully capable of manipulation. If you aren't going to correct bad behavior, they will either assume you approve of or accept it, or they will decide they can get away with murder-and so they will. People like rules and guidelines.