Often abused individuals will self mutilate because the flow of endorphins mimics that sensation one feels when they are loved. This, in turn causes one to confuse abuse with love, self abuse with self love. Many people wonder why an abused individual will constantly be drawn into relationships that are just as abusive as the one from which they left or were rescued from. The main reason is that it has become very difficult for the abused individual to distinguish between abuse and love until it is too late, until major, life threatening abuses occur. Abuse has been a way of life, it has been etched upon the core of their being, and so, often they gravitate to it, unconsciously, for it is familiar.
Self mutilation is born out of the same distortion.
It makes one feel alive, it gives a sense of self. When an abused individual is suffering flashbacks, it assists in bringing them back to the present. Suicidal ideation and self mutilation are tools, developed by the severely abused to cope with past abuse, flashbacks and emotional pain. Nevertheless, there are healthier tools with which to meet these needs. I found those healthier tools within the 12 step program, and through working the steps.