I promised a lot of things that seemed to make sense at the time. As life moved on and my life experience and education changed, I realized that to hang on to the old vows didn't make sense. I saw others following vows they no longer believed. I saw others, like me, turn away from old vows. What I didn't want was to carry a load of guilt to be like the brother of the schizophrenic, unable to leave behind a vow that was not binding.
Some people seem to exit their vows nicely.
They divorce successfully. They laugh at their childhood vows in the sanctuary. They move on. For others, the old vows are dragged along like an anchor. Psychiatrists attempt to untie the knots that hold on.