Take note of the words honor , esteem , deference , courtesy . Respect is something that is displayed by the way we treat our husbands. Even if we feel it, we must not stop there but go on to show it. And if we do not feel it, we are still commanded to show it. Oftentimes those wives who disrespect their husbands are the same ones who are complaining about the lack of leadership they see in their men.
Wives underestimate the impact they have, both for good and ill.
They do not realize that their lack of respect is tearing their husbands down. The more they disrespect, the more they see to criticize. Soon it seems there is nothing respectable about their husbands at all. They want their husbands to be obedient Christians who exercise godly, loving headship, but they refuse to be respectful wives. I have talked with women who were miserable because of the shortcomings they saw in their husbands.