Yes, you're probably trying too hard for his attention. And yes, this could be a lot of worry for nothing. As we often say to couples, there are two ways to change how you feel about your relationship. Don't expect too much passion after 17 years. Work for it, but don't get too attached to it.
Some couples do manage to pull it off, but they are a small exception to the rule.
Also, the harder you try, the more likely you are to push him away. So lower your expectations and get your needs met in other ways. We're not talking affairs here, but rather your women friends, exercise, perhaps your career, and your friendship with your husband. Become more alive and attractive yourself, both physically and emotionally, and he may take a second look. Could Be Waiting for You.