Should you choose to say no you now can say it in such a way you have a better chance of her accepting your response. This puts you in more control, which helps eliminate stress. The fifth way is to provide structure at family gatherings. It was Benjamin Franklin who stated, idle hands are the devils workshop . Having structure creates security.
Structure lets everyone know what to expect and when to expect it.
Create structure by setting times and limiting activities. If everyone is coming to your house for dinner, let him or her know what time it starts and what time it ends. The rule of thumb here is to keep it short and sweet .