Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do. You know you're a Redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest. You know you're a Redneck if you do your serious Christmas shopping at the Flying J truck stop. You know you're a Redneck if you ever named a child after a dog. You know you're a Redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.