Many women are afraid of performing oral sex because they are afraid they might not do it well. Most of the sex we see depicted in movies is sex with someone other than your spouse. There is little depiction of good monogamous marital sex in movies. The message is you have to be sexy and be desired, which is a fairly vapid cultural principle. When you are young, there is much more sexual experimentation and many believe that more is better, but when people get into their 30s, they usually slow down a little and they are able to go the distance.
Sex is a lifetime growth process and some women just grow into boundless sexual energy.
If you have a man with premature ejaculation, it is sad he is not seeking treatment because it is about 90 percent treatable. Extramarital sex as a way of coping with a bad marriage is never a good idea. If you want to keep a moral sense about yourself, you should either say we will go to therapy or leave. Because phone or cyber sex is such a new entity, it depends on how your spouse feels about it. I have seen too many marriages rocked and even destroyed because a spouse sees it as a betrayal.