I suppose I was gearing up the courage to just ask him and gauge his reaction. I'd told him I loved him and he never responded once before, when he was sick. About 3 days before I could have this talk, he died suddenly of a hemorrhage related to his throat cancer. I picked out Jill's message to respond to because a wise friend advised me that, as I had suspected, maybe he really was incapable of love. He just did the best he could, and it didn't have to do with me.
Some people just have their limitations.
He raised his kids as some people tend to a business. And we made it, each in our own way.