Finding the Monk Within Joseph Dispenza spent eight years living in a monastery studying spirituality firsthand and developing the foundation of his spiritual life. Start with some daily spiritual reading the writings of Thomas Merton, for instance, or Kathleen Norris or Thomas Moore. Then slowly incorporate a short period of silence into a daily schedule. Even 15 minutes of silent alone time every day will prepare the way for a larger spiritual experience. Everyone is different.
Some people can get a great deal from a one-day or a weekend retreat.
Others need longer time to reflect, contemplate, and quiet themselves. When that happens, no matter how long or short the retreat, the purpose has been accomplished. That's what we take back with us to our life in the world. This depends entirely on the person. On the other hand, those who are usually reserved might want to enter more fully into the identification with the monks as a way of quickening their spiritual understanding.