We're either complying with the sexual messages our parents gave us or defying them in adolescent ways. Of course all our former lovers are hovering over the bed as well. Also present are all the other carriers of sexual messages, such as our peers, teachers, clergy and the media. Unfinished business from the past can have a huge dampening effect on our love lives. This leads to loneliness, terrible conflict and divorce.
Some people are angry with their parents for things that happened decades ago.
We have to remember that just as we'll always be a child to our parents, the parents of our childhood live on in our heads and hearts. We may love them today, but as children we may have been shamed, intimidated, forced into roles that were unsuitable for us or taught us faulty life lessons. That's why it's vital to make peace with the parents of your childhood. Otherwise, your relationship with them in the present will be constantly disturbed because as soon as you're together the old roles and tapes start playing once again. We can and must make peace with parents, whether they're alive or not.