The mediator helps the parties peel off emotional overlays to arrive at reality, revealing any disparate assumptions that have the potential to breed conflict. None of the other planning professionals including attorneys, accountants, and financial advisors can fill the need to speak separately and confidentially with each interested party. In sum, mediators assist attorneys in collecting all the pieces of the puzzle couched within family dynamics. An ideal mediator does not represent anyone, has no allegiance to any party, gives no advice, makes no decisions, and has no conflicts of interest. There are no constraints on the mediator s ability to speak in confidence with each person.
Many people mistakenly think of a mediator as an arbitrator.
Attorneys should explain to their clients that a mediator is a facilitator, not a fact finder or decision-maker. It is dangerous to assume that a happily married couple is communicating well about the division of their estate. It is more dangerous to assume a couple about to be married has discussed the terms of a prenuptial agreement in more than a cursory way. People with close relationships may have a great reluctance to bring up sensitive topics between or among themselves. Plus, most planning cases will not even include heirs as active participants.