They want to learn, and even if they don't, they can be complimented on their effort. They play hard, and when they're successful, some notice of it goes a long, long way. Assume these children want to be good. Because they do. They just don't have innate ways to notice other people's behavior, bad or good, and they are like the weathervane that turns with whatever breeze strikes it.
Punishment is a time-honored failure at teaching social skills to ADD kids.
Stop removing these children from every situation that gave them trouble. Sending them home doesn't work. Suspensions don't work. These just remove the children from the environment they need to learn to manage. Use the child's strengths.