These questions correspond closely with the difference between affectional orientation and gender identity. This is the heart of the transgender issue. An alternative is to pick one as the primary, but to cherish the other. When the primary is also the gender of birth, the person is a cross-dresser. A person who self-identifies as androgynous gives approximately equal weight to the two.
Many transsexuals find it difficult to think or feel anything good about their gender of birth.
The body can become a prison, a mockery of the person the transsexual wants to be. I have considered suicide, accepted it, planned it, but not attempted it. If I cannot cherish my maleness, I can and must acknowledge it. It is my history, and that history will remain a part of me for the rest of my life. It is a history that I will never share as a common bridge with another woman, except for those transsexuals who join me in choosing to become a woman.