I suggest you approach your pain by writing around it. The process is difficult, but it can be healing. In the workshops, I have repeatedly seen participants discover that it takes more energy to avoid a memory than to write about it. Doing research and interviews will either corroborate or correct your memory. Drawing on other sources also widens your perspective and gives your stories authentic detail.
Quick printers can do hardcover single copies at low cost.
When you include photographs, maps, photocopies of documents, newspaper articles, etc., your lifestory becomes an heirloom for your children and a very special gift to your local historical society or library. But I caution writers not to be in a hurry to see that final product. After all that work, what a disappointment it would be to see, too late, what you left out, or could do differently. I always advise lingering with the work, putting it away for a while and then re-reading it as a reader, not a writer. A few lifewriters I've worked with have had truly unique stories and sought professional publication.