Your teenager will often need to talk about the divorce in order to understand, accept, and mourn the loss of family. This may sound as if he or she will be just waiting anxiously to pour out questions and feelings.
Most adolescents develop techniques to cope with all the changes.
They develop and cling to a style that works for them, that saves them pain. These coping processes are often done subconsciously, so the child is usually unaware of how he or she copes. Perhaps as you have been reading about these common coping mechanisms of children you may recognize ones you yourself use to help you deal with difficult, painful problems. They must not be allowed to go on forever, however, and you as a parent have an obligation to help your children recognize and break through them. Create an open atmosphere and eventually your children will feel free to share the important losses with you.