It is ultimately an action of the heart, which opens and accepts, honors, and makes sacred. Learning to love the deepest places of our being requires creating a new relationship with ourselves that embraces all we are and all we have ever been. For most of us, this process involves changing old thinking and beliefs that have effectively squelched ideas about self-love. These characteristics are poor imitations of the real thing. A person who is egotistical is hiding feelings of inadequacy under a mask of conceit.
Selfishness is defined as seeking one s own advantage without regard for others.
This kind of attitude is born from fear that there is not enough of what ever is wanted or desired. As a result, the person clings desperately to whatever they have for fear it will be lost. Self-love is not boastful or desperate. These feelings, and the actions that result are based in fear, not in love for the self. Loving one s self is not about taking care of one s self at the expense of another.