Some of us are able to acknowledge that we have sabotaged many relationships. While we have the intellectual awareness that we are the common denominator in the sabotages, we find ourselves unable to change our behavior. If the intellect were the key to successful recovery then we would be able to think ourselves well. We would be able to understand ourselves into better actions. Clearly that does not work.
Unresolved grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative.
Unresolved grief creates incomplete relationships. I ncomplete relationships can cause us to limit our lives, can induce us to sabotage good relationships, can encourage us to keep choosing poorly. Unresolved grief becomes a relationship to ourselves as unworthy of happiness. We must learn how to grieve and complete relationships that have ended or changed. It may sound simple, and it is simple.