Sometimes it is best to step back and allow them to battle it out. Don't allow a lot of negative energy into your mind and soul. This is one of the most difficult things a stepmom can accomplish. The trick is to find out what issues to detach from, you detach from issues, not people. If you can do this, you are certainly well on your way to success as a stepmom.
Physical energy is also another sacrifice, especially for stepmoms with younger children.
If you are a stay at home stepmom, you probably have a lot of responsibility when it comes to housework. If you have help from the children and your husband, you are in luck. There are stepmoms who actually contribute to child support, child support for children that they did not bring into this world. My hat is definitely off to stepmoms such as these. Of course, if you bring in any kind of an income, you probably help out within the family with expenses.