Children, in their tender years, are impressionable and easily shaped. When setting up the social form of restitution, parents must walk the child through the steps of social graces, asking the child to repeat back the parent's words. Sometimes a parent will ask a child to hug or caress the child they have hurt, to illustrate the principle physically. When Hannah and Josh refused to act out my script for restitution, I didn't chastise them or force them to go through it again, I merely acting it out for them. I put my hand on their shoulder and told them I am sorry that this situation happened, keeping it impersonal.
Shame is never a beneficent tool for parents.
I them instructed them to play together in a way that minimized the risk of further aggression. I set the forms that would make the foundation of this little person's character. When children do comply with a parent's request for restitution, be sure to reward it. Don't give your tot money. This actively models the lesson for the day.