The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. Chamfort Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam. Biology is the only science in which multiplication mean the same thing as division.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery. Growing old is not growing up. Doug Horton Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.