However, some women do stay because they have been threatened with worse harm if they leave or because they are economically dependent on their partner. Others have lost confidence and feel powerless to change the situation while some believe their partner's promise that he will change. Battering does not always end when the woman leaves. Some of the most tragic assaults in Massachusetts have been committed by ex-husbands and former boyfriends. Many will use drinking as an excuse just as a doctor who batters may blame pressure on the job, or an unemployed person may blame his joblessness.
Violence is the sole responsibility of the violent person.
No one deserves to beaten. Marriage counseling has not proven effective in ending abuse. It conveys the message that the batterer's violence is both partners' responsibility, which it is not. Also, as long as the abuser is violent, it is unsafe for the woman to be with him. The safest approach is for a woman to separate from a violent partner.