When parents separate, they must find a way to make sense of the flood of emotions caused by the breakup that can range from euphoria to sheer terror. Decisions parents make at this time tend to be reactive and not in anyone's best interest. If there were no children, this could be accomplished without too much difficulty. However, when the spouse is a parent, this perceived need to be away from the other parent is in direct conflict with a child's need to have two parents who love and care for him or her. Countless children have lost a parent due to this very serious problem.
Planning is the first priority.
The custody plans that are put in place right after the separation are likely to set a precedent that cannot easily be changed. The difficulty is that we are expected to be our most logical at precisely the time that we are the most emotionally upset. The coolest, smartest, most accomplished among us can easily become blithering idiots with the enormity of the changes and when fear takes over. It is rare that parents make formal plans for their children's future when the situation is normal. Plans evolve, day by day, month by month and year by year as the need arises.