You seem to be forgetting the reasons you're not together any more. The other side of the coin is that there had to be many reasons why you decided to marry your new husband. Perhaps he's handsomer, more communicative, a better provider, nicer to you. Remind yourself of the differences between these two men, and why you are currently married to one and not the other. Only then can we move on to the sexual issues.
Some couples are more naturally compatible in the bedroom than others.
However, couples who are compatible in other ways have the most opportunities to make their sex life sparkle. While you mentioned that you asked your husband for oral sex, it's not clear when or how. Start by complimenting your partner. When I first met you, I thought you were the sexiest man I'd seen in a long time. Only then move into a discussion of what's missing.