I know that, as well. When I lost my own mother, it made me very sad, and it took a good bit of time to get over it. Even then, you're not over it completely.
Suicide is never a worthwhile answer to sadness and depression.
Your mother wants you to be happy, and she wants the best for you. I want to assure you of my prayers during this time of loneliness. No matter how bad you feel, remember that God loves you and wants you to work through your sadness. Most of us can't get through the loss of a parent alone. Perhaps you have a friend with whom you can share your thoughts.