On the other hand, anticipatory griefhas the potential for causing misunderstandings. When intimate family members grieve with the dying person, they may reach acceptance before those members who live some distance away do. When the death occurs, the distant relatives might judge the closer ones critically for expressing little emotion. At the time of the funeral, they may think the others are cold and uncaring because they appear so totally in control of their emotions, so unaffected by the death. At the time of the death, perhaps family members could share personal feelings so that each will know the grief the others experienced in advance of the death.
Problems can occur too, when health professionals still hope to cure the patient.
Elderly people dying in an institution are the people most negatively affected by this type of conflict. As family members learn to accept the death, their emotional involvement can change and become diffuse. The medical staff may become closer emotionally to dying people. Then they may grieve not only for their own death but also for the seeming loss of the family's love. Dying people are better served when friends and family make a team effort to help give meaning in this final period before death.