We usually do it indirectly, by telling stories about what's happened to us, how we felt, and what it meant to us. Somebody else sees this part of life from your angle. Or they share feelings provoked by something that hap-pened to them, and you dare to believe they will understand what's happened to you. You no longer feel so much like the Lone Ranger. If people don't exactly understand everything I've experienced, they still give me room to share what's happened to me without looking at me cross-eyed.
Stories can heal.
We feel more connected to others. And there may be actual physical benefits as well. This primal need to tell our story came home to me vividly as I visited an aged woman in the late stages of cancer. What flowed in a rapid monotone chatter from her lips, non-stop for over an hour, was the entire story of her life. And then my mother died, and then I had to take care of my young brother, and then . . .