He has to maintain his support by educating himself and remembering that he married you for better or worse and it sound like you are saying this is the worse. Stress on a marriage during menopause will only create real problems if there are already underlying problems that you have not been paying attention to. He's totally scared of committment. You're probably scaring him even more by acting like there is nothing to be scared of. Try telling him the things you are afraid of also so he can feel that you understand him and out of that the trust will slowly grow.
Some people love the drama, tension that comes from combat in a relationship.
Although this is a very toxic habit. My belief is that you cannot change a behavior until you understand and heal it's underlying cause. And you are acting out some old fear and resentment. My husband of 20 yrs. We've talked about it, but can't seem to resolve.