Bereavement makes us very self-centered at the exact time our spouse needs us for support. Your loss may represent a different meaning for each of you. Women because they're nurturers. Marriage can be strengthened deeply by shared sorrow, but it requires Work to bring about the strengthening. Men usually talk for practical reasons whereas women tend to talk for recreation.
Men talk about something, come to a solution, then go on.
Women just want to talk about what has happened. Men often think more about the overall picture while women are concerned with the event's details. Men usually are more caught up in work outside the home but women are intricately intertwined with their homes and families to the extent that they perceive them as part of their personality or worth. This probably is one reason grief generally lasts longer for women. Men need to know they've succeeded which is vital for their self esteem.