But then I am not as convinced as you are that the long lasting relationships you mention require reflectiveness. Primates certainly have the ability to re-identify, and track, individuals, and to form preferences. That doesn't require high levels of reflectiveness. There may be some further, more sophisticated thing they can do that you are alluding to, but I haven't yet seen the evidence for it. If humans are any model, there would be dire consequences.
Mind amuses itself in strange ways.
I agree with you that in all likelihood, any artificial or otherwise radically different form of intelligence would share our susceptibilities, our tendencies to overreact, to engage in unwittingly self-destructive behavior, to misjudge threats and opportunities, and probabilities.