First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen s rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he d still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
Men don t answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a bowl full of jelly. Men aren t interested in stockings unless somebody s wearing them. Having to do the Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. Cupid flies around exposing himself and carrying weapons.