You are only 29 years old and it would be much easier to begin to make different choices now than when you have lost your marriage and other support systems. Under the influence, whether you are addicted or not, you can cause an accident were you and your daughter get hurt or worse. This would leave you with another loss to use over. I would suggest that you deal with two perhaps three things at the same time. First, the problem with pain from the past surgeries if that is still an issue.
Many patients find that once they stop taking the medication the pain goes away.
You must begin to use your doctor as a resource to figure these things out rather than as a your drug pusher. This question was answered by by Thomas H Schear . Dr. Schear has over 20 years experience as a front line counselor, clinical supervisor, program director and college instructor. Currently he provides online and telephone counseling service as well as home-study and online course for the helping professional from his website.