One can be fairly certain the goal is attention seeking when the parent feels annoyed, bothered and irritated. When attention is given, the child temporarily stops the irritating behavior, but it soon returns when the attention is taken away. The second goal is that of power. This behavior is recognized when the child resists doing what is asked or does the opposite. Temper tantrums are not unusual when they decide they are the boss.
Parents feel threatened or provoked or even intimidated.
A common feeling is one of losing control which often initiates a determination to gain control of the child's behavior. Revenge is the third goal wherein the child attempts to get even with the parent. This child may be defiant, sullen, hostile, or vindictive. Typically the parent is deeply hurt which may be experienced as anger, resentment or even hatred. Usually the parent responds to this behavior by punishing the child, anything from verbally berating to physically striking out.