There are successful marriages and failed marriages. And the terms are not arbitrary. Failure and success are real. We have standards of acceptability. None of us would wish for just any well-intentioned person to be admitted to the bar or licenced to practice medicine.
Most social groups have a standard of acceptability.
We need standards and law and order. But at the heart of them all lies a great grief. For the standard that pronounces some people acceptable, judges others unacceptable. Standards I may admire mean that I am rejected by the school I apply to or the woman I propose to. The bottom line which indicates my neighbor s business is successful, shows mine to be a failure.