Burleson studies the effects of what people say. People know that talking about problems helps, but they may not know why. He says knowing how people become distressed is key to understanding how they are comforted. Rather people become upset when they believe events are in conflict with their personal goals and well-being. Thus, he says, overcoming distress requires re-evaluating circumstances in a more positive or realistic light.
People mistakenly believe that if they say the right words, they can make others feel better.
He says that when people talk about the things that are troubling them it helps clarify the situation to themselves as well as others. Burleson's research shows that denying or ignoring painful feelings does little to alleviate them. Conversations must take place in areas where people feel secure and comfortable about doing so. Trust in one another must be evident. He says trust can be developed both by words and actions, such as speaking in soothing tones.