They believe in a judgement in which they will face their life record, and this fills them with despair. They have convinced themselves that they are lost, and although they have tried again and again, they don t think they can be good enough to please God. Nothing satisfies, nothing matters, nothing has meaning. On the outside these people may appear successful, or at least content. Inside, however, where only the heart can see, the sadness, the deep sense of being alone in a teeming world of humanity will not go away.
Nights are fitful.
Rest is but a dream. Some ease their frustrations with drink, drugs, parties, or some hidden intimacy. But these also prove false, leaving them in greater pain and embarrassment than when they began. Others merely trudge on, hoping for a change they fear will never come. It does to me.