Your child will let you know by clarifying their feelings to you. Afterall, this is our goal, to help them recognize their own feelings. This turns children off, especially older children. Practice listening for about a month. Give your self time to develop and use this communication tool.
New habits take time and practice.
Disclosures are one of nature's little known laws of communication. Walking the fine line of vulnerability can be risky. In order to keep your balance, here are a few disclosure techniques to get you to the other side of closer relationships. Me-too's area way of letting your child know that you too have felt the same way they are feeling or you too have gone through a similar experience. Next, tell them very specifically when and how you felt the same way or experience a similar situation.