It was all just too embarrassing. I was not a tough guy. I was just dealing with an ugly situation as quickly and quietly as possible. Fists don't explode across flesh the way they do in the movies. Real fights are silent, save for the shuffling of feet, heavy breathing and the occasional, high-pitched grunt.
Real fights are ugly, sloppy, messy, ungainly things.
It's not cheating, because there are no rules. You simply do what's necessary. And I don't exactly know why this is, but most men, I've found, are completely helpless if you grab hold of their testicles. I looked at him hard, a little puzzled, just to see if he was joking. Something so obvious, he must be joking.