Put me on a beautiful young woman. I want to relive the Miss Brahms years. I'll make it worth your while. I have contacts. Tonight, events that have happened during the day, including the sad death of the Queen Mother, if it happens, and the toppling of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, if that happens too.
Regional horoscopes follow.
Harrowing documentary about a group of teenage mothers afflicted by Myalgic Encephalomyelitis who have somehow arranged a day trip to Hunstanton. The camera shares their weariness as they become irritated by their toddling charges, feel too tired to smack them, and then lapse into near-comas that leave them feeling none the better six hours later. The highlight sees one of the sleepy parents fall face first into her baby's pram and roll blindly down the middle of a main road, narrowly avoiding a huge pane of glass being carried across the street by two workmen. Narrated by Tim Brooke-Taylor. It was shit.