Parents benefit from an understanding of the stages of grief so that they may help their children process their emotions. As parents are able to understand that the grief is normal and has nothing to do with their parenting, they are better able to validate the child. This validation allows the child to further express his feelings. The outcome is enhanced communication within the family and a trust that adoption issues are truly open to discussion even when they are difficult. This is a good time to have physical contact with the child by hugging or holding him.
Physical contact leads to emotional contact.
The more our children feel protected, loved and under- stood, the more they will travel through the grief to a greater degree of resolution. Sometimes parents worry about showing emotions such as crying during these times. Again, it is important to convey to our children that we feel their feelings and therefore may cry. Taking it one step further, it is desirable to say that though we may cry, we still want to talk about it. The reason for this elaboration is that children assume a tremendous amount of responsibility for their parents' feelings.