I feel I would like to be released from this communication thing, especially all this talking about myself. Sexual intercourse appears in your work all the time. Oh yes, more than anything in the whole world. But you have to be in love and you can't do it gratuitously. When you are having sex you lose yourself completely and become part of the other person.
Nothing can ever beat that feeling.
Now, sometimes, I begin to think I may never have it again. I knew what it was just to shag around and to love sex just for that physical thing. But now that I am older I don't want that. You seem in some way to reflect the dystopia side of Virginia Woolf, as she expressed the need for a woman to have a room of her own, and your life takes its meaning when you expose it to the public scrutiny of the world. Also, writing is such a major part of your art.