Acceptance of shame as a useful technique is based upon the acceptance of systemic addiction in our society. When Society Becomes an Addict. She describes an addictive society as one in which social problems are denied, the majority of the population are not able to achieve personal fulfillment, individual lack of success is regarded as a personal flaw, the importance of feelings is denied, and unsuccessful people are shamed. All of society operates within the addictive paradigm and holographically the components mirror each other as well as the larger system and its relations with other societies and the universe. This results in individuals, families, organizations and the entire society all operating addictively.
Shame is necessary within an addictive system.
Nothing is clear. I cannot hear anything that is said. My mind goes blank. All my attention is riveted on hiding my deficiency. At that point, all I know is that I must hide.