You may find you have to struggle in order to be more conscious. Despite wonderful benefits close at hand, you will nevertheless find yourself fighting what seems at times a tedious, uphill battle.
Old tendencies are very powerful.
Your habits will almost always win. It's not a question of sincerity, either. Of course you'd like to be a more loving, creative person. Certainly it would be wonderful to contact your higher consciousness with its thrilling insight and inner power. No question it's a worthwhile endeavor.