Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet. Real Programmers will defend to the death the virtues of a certain piece of peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, the terminal. Real Programmers never use hard copy terminals, they never use terminals that run at less than 9600 baud, they never use a terminal at less than its maximum practical speed. Real Programmers think they know the answers to your problems, and will happily tell them to you rather than answer your questions.
Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear sandals.
When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals. Real Programmers don't think that they should get paid at all for their work, but they know that they're worth every penny that they do make. Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between. Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the illerate's form of documentation.