I loved to swim, to dance and walk around the Marin headlands all day. I can't deny that somehow behind the horror of this catastrophe, I wanted to die. I understood then that my mind was excited by this new terrain yet my body was kicking and screaming resisting every second. Bodies don't want to die. You only have to observe an ant in trouble to realise that.
Minds can look at death as some different type of vacation.
Nothing to pay for an eternity of bliss if you played your cards right in this lifetime. My body was singing all the while a very different tune. It wanted to be hugged and caressed and told everything would be all right. The body ceases to exist when it is abandoned by the mind. Perhaps it is the ultimate abandonment.