Georgetown deploys its heralded no-huddle wishbone offense. New quarterback Alana Goldblatt takes the snap from center Kendall Ken Fukiyaki. Play action fake to running back Miriam Schnur, who breaks a fingernail on the play. Goldblatt drifts back, circles right, hops sideways, jumps twice, sneezes violently, stomps her foot and sobs, then watches in horror as all players from both teams dash off the field and into the stands. A balcony in the stands has collapsed.
Total chaos erupts.
Students, teachers, alumni, librarians and beer vendors rush to the scene with retainers, bouquets, crullers and concert tickets in hand, hoping to sign up victims. Others focus on the victims spouses. Still others, mostly first year students, work on the victims friends, betraying a complete misunderstanding of the concept of loss of consortium. No one stops them. In fact, one tort professor from BC actually encourages them, mouthing off some drivel about a logical extension of existing legal principles and a case of first impression.