Memory loss has a reason Memory loss occurs for many reasons. We may have been so young when abused that we were unable to form thoughts or put our feelings into words. If we could talk, we may have lacked a vocabulary for the adult types of sexual activities that went on. It's harder to remember an event when we have no words available to describe it. Similarily abuse can be hard to recall if it occurred when we were unconscious, asleep, or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.
Memory loss can be an important way of coping with abuse.
If dad is doing something we feel strange about, something that might change the way we think of him, we may unconsciously decide it's better to forget the abuse. Victims of extremely violent and bizarre abuse may suffer traumatic amnesia, in which the shocking, violent nature of the abuse causes absolute memory loss of the event. Memory loss protects us from overwhelming or continuous psychological strain after the experience. Sexual abuse is often confususing, painful, upsetting, shame inducing, and humiliating. We may have no one with whom we can talk openly about it and no opportunity to resolve our emotional feelings.