Whether or not I feel like I have anything to say, or anything to contribute. Waiting to feel good about myself isn't going to get me anywhere if I don't take any sort of action. Few people that I admire spend their time waiting for things. I like dynamic people who go after what they want, even if they're not quite sure of their goals. People in constant motion, who don't wait for inspiration to hit, they just do it.
Reasons can be a trap.
When someone stops you and asks you to explain yourself, they're just getting in the way. August felt right. This journal feels right. The question isn't why am I sitting here, alone, waiting for him to call me. And there's no good answer.