This would probably involve debriefing you about past abuses and improving current relationships. Sometimes, too, there is an underlying clinical depression, which may require treatment. Individual or family therapy would be helpful here. This is not an excuse, but a fact - just as it is harder for some people to excel at sports, understand calculus or sing on pitch than it is for others. It is possible, therefore, that you have a genetic predisposition to gain and retain weight.
People respond differently to stress, as well.
When under significant strain, some people's stomachs are so upset that they have no appetite and lose a lot of weight. You will probably have to reduce the stress in your life before you can find the energy to focus on your all-out weight loss campaign. The place to start is with a decision about what to do with your vow-shattered marriage to the abusive father of your children. Questions and answers may be edited.