It would be the difference between one chef s asking another to taste a food in the kitchen and say whether it might need adjusting, and a guest s murmuring that dinner was lovely, even if it wasn t particularly. Or between telling your friend that a dress isn t particularly flattering to her while she is debating buying it, and telling her she looks great when she is about to go out. In social manners, it is rude to offer criticism. What is obviously needed is the kind of generalized approval that helps us all get through life because it distracts us from wondering nervously what others think of us at every moment. People who are trying to please should not be told that they failed.
Professional criticism is something different.
The hard part is then having to accept it gracefully. I want to express my sorrow and support, but I don't quite know how. Because I was so shocked, to me it is as if it just happened, but she has spent the last two decades dealing with this. Thank you for any insight you may provide. The Authoritative Manual for Every Civilized Household, However Harried .