You may define incapacity. Click here for more details on POAs . Without a Nomination of Conservator, the closest blood relative will be appointed. Having a notarized document nominating your preferred Conservator makes it much more likely that your wishes will be respected. In fact, it is the only way in which your wishes will even be known.
Probate is public.
In open Court, after notice to family members, the Judge asks if any person has any objection to the Will. Unhappy family members may easily start a Will contest, even without a lawyer. If your assets are greater or if you are concerned about people contesting the Will, a Living Trust is more appropriate. The most important tool for estate planning is a Living Trust. A Living Trust is advisable for anyone with an estate which would otherwise need to be Probated.