Let your children know that they have permission to be sad that things are different. By giving them permission to grieve, they are in a better position to begin to accept new traditions. Avoid setting your expectations too high. Newly formed stepfamilies are already turbulent. Add the highly charged expectations of the holiday season and you can almost guarantee that something will go wrong.
Nothing can wear a relationship down more than constant conflict.
By giving yourselves a chance to recharge, you are better equipped to cope with the potential difficulties. Schedule quiet times throughout the holidays. Nothing can lead to frayed tempers more quickly than being over-involved in Christmas activities. Consider adding one or two new family traditions that everyone has input into, like going skating on Christmas Eve, or making Christmas wreaths as a family. These activities can go a long way towards building family ties without pressure and expectation.