But the fact is, your chances improve if you make a consistent, concerted effort to meet more people as often as you can. Here's what experts advise to get you started. Chat yourself up. Prophecies like this tend to undercut your self-esteem, Dr. Anderson observes. So instead of blaming yourself and predicting failure, give yourself a pep talk.
Research shows it works.
A study of lonely college students found that those who went on to establish satisfying relationships had a higher self-esteem and were less likely to assume that their loneliness was the result of some irreparable personal flaw. Do what you like. Since everyone knows the sole purpose is to meet people, that can make a lot of us very self-conscious, says Dr. Perlman. A less stressful, more natural way to meet people is to join a group that's involved with something that interests you. If you join a bridge group or an investment group, you have something to do.