When former subordinate-superordinate roles are continued by both parents and the adult child, there is no way to reach filial maturity. In some research in progress at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, one of our students interviewed some upper middle class adults about what it was that they wanted to do when their parents got too old to take care of themselves. None of the sons said this. In that way, there will be a great many problems between the parents and the children, purely because the daughter took on more than she should have. In summary, there are two avenues to moral maturity.
Women tend to use the avenue of the ethic of care because they've been socialized that way.
Men tend to use the avenue of the ethic of justice because they've been socialized that way. But these are two parts of the dialectic of moral maturity. Both are needed in order for us to rear nurturing daughters and nurturing sons.