When Lilly probed with questions, I simply lost my ability to lie. The first confession came in early 1996 as the Williamses drove to the mountains near Santa Fe, N.M., to go skiing. Jack had spoken the previous weekend at a men's prayer breakfast, and Lilly asked him the topic of his message. Lilly was incredulous. Until that moment, she had no inkling of Jack's secret life.
Shame causes a person to hide.
It's at the core of all addictions, of one's basic belief. He thinks, If someone sees the real me, they'll see me so flawed, so damaged, so defective, they'll have no choice but to walk out. I'm bare, broken, naked, yet I am loved. Whenever a person is hiding, isolated or withdrawn, he's experiencing shame. He had even been solicited by other married men at porn shops and succumbed.