It's prabably true that sending your husband to jail would be viewed as an outrage in most communities. With regard to choice in marriage, the agreement of the girl is supposed to be obtained. Among the Nandi and among the Massai, a kinswoman is assigned to make sure that the girl is really willing, and without her say-so, the marriage is not supposed to go forward. This obviously does not mean that there cannot be abuses, in which girls are pressured into marriages they really don't want. But those events should be viewed as abuses.
Most parents take their children's wishes intoconsideration in making marriage arrangements.
I am not arguing that these societies are not patriarchal.