The thought of opening up to strangers was mortifying. Desperate to save their marriages, these four men overcame their fear of feelings. Men's movements such as Promise Keepers and the Million Man March have issued a public call for rebuilding relationships and families. But even their organizers say the real work takes place after the crowds break up and men return home to face their own lives. That work is high on intensity and low on glamour, but these four say the payoff is worth it.
Organizers say one of the toughest parts is getting the husbands to take part.
When they went through Retrouvaille, couples had to be brought in from out of state to lead the sessions. Now these men and their wives will be the ones to face a roomful of tense spouses and share their stories. Conventional wisdom holds that women love talking about relationships, while men would rather step barefoot on a slug. Although that's an oversimplification, it holds a lot of truth, many experts say. Women view conversation as a chance to bond, while men use it to establish positions of power, Tannen writes.