When I ask her to wear those sexy nighties, she says she feels uncomfortable in them because she's too fat. But I think she looks as sexy as can be. You are not alone in your confusion about this topic. Many men ask similar questions. It seems women's views of themselves are a lot harsher than the views of the men who love them.
Women feel a lot of pressure to conform to society's idea of beautiful.
As girls enter their late teens and 20s, they feel even more pressure from ads on TV and in magazines. They begin to compare themselves to the women in the magazines, and the boys are comparing them to women in Playboy , etc. In addition, they hear boys talk about certain body parts that they find sexy. Seldom do they hear positive comments about women who are a little heavy or very thin. Consequently, all this adds up to a society of women who often feel bad about how they look.