They were first time visitors to the church. Everybody is not ready to hear that God's love and freedom in Christ includes Gay, Lesbian, Trans, and Bisexual people. My own battles with codependency are described in my web site and book. I recommend it to you. Control issues are part of all human relationships.
Many people try to build their own sense of self-worth by controlling others.
Life for many people becomes a constant struggle for independence and freedom, which they never achieve. Where the Spirit of Christ is, there is liberty. We are facing old problems with new faces. Jesus challenged and defeated sick religion, and so will we.