Scissors aren't really an acceptable substitute for wire cutters. Band promoters simply cannot be trusted. The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission is the IRS of alcohol. Twenty bucks can buy an inordinate amount of porn if you know where to shop. NOD isn't always a valid reason for not doing your work.
Police officers make great friends.
The day the film crew shows up to interview you will undoubtedly be the day you choose a hat over a shower. Packing tape doesn't really stick to plastic drop cloths, no matter what indications it may give to the contrary. Never leave the house without a copy of your tax-exempt form. Stressing over the content of your comments to reporters is useless as you won't be able to recognize anything you said in the published article anyway. If you feed them, they will come.