For most people sexuality is a very intimate area of their personal life which they do not wish to share with other people with the exception, perhaps, of a few very close persons. On the other hand, other peoples' sex life is of great interest to a large part of the population as evidenced by the huge market for sex-oriented films, magazines and similar products. Often, this interest in other peoples' sex life has to do with one's own deep personal problems in this area. I do not want to oversimplify the issue but I have the impression that experts on disabled peoples' sexuality who are mainly concerned with topics such as erective and ejaculatory capability, positions or sexual technical aids may have little knowledge of our every-day lives. In this short comment I would like to draw attention to a few obvious but nevertheless often forgotten difficulties that many of us face who have more extensive disabilities.
Sexuality is a form of communication, of expressing one's own personality to another person.
The way I present myself will largely depend on how I see myself. Society constantly bombards us with outright and indirect messages that our lives are worthless, that we are helpless, hopeless cripples. The most important task we face is to build up our own value system independent of our surroundings. Only then can we reach the point where we appreciate our personal resources and our uniqueness as human beings. To reach this position is nearly impossible, if each of us had to do it by himself or herself.