The Trouble with Grudges If we slow down and reflect a few moments, each of us will come to admit that a grudge is an awful blot on our soul. If so, think about these consequences of a grudge. Grudges don't work. When someone hurts us, we are inclined to settle the score, get even. If we do not forgive the offender the choice remaining is to try revenge, or decide to hold a grudge.
Revenge is an outward attempt to even the score.
A grudge is revenge turned inward. But a grudge doesn't work. The person who hurt us may not even know how angry and bitter we feel. In fact, they may go on their merry way, completely oblivious to our feelings of resentment. They are happy.