Parents may try to make decisions for others and sometimes, there are unresolved issues that adult children have been annoyed or angry about but because of the distance never dealt with the issues. Guilt is also an issue. Watson said adults sometimes feel guilty about the relationships they have with parents which may come from not doing enough and not staying in contact as expected. Some conflict comes from not dealing with that guilt. Other guilty feelings come from the adult children looking forward to their parents leaving.
Parents know how to push our buttons.
If there is enough space for them to feel comfortable, things will go better. Keep clear in your mind what your relationship is today. Don't get pulled into the old structure. I don't like to feel that way. Both parties should also be willing to forgive each other to help resolve issues.