This can be productive in a healthy relationship because it brings differences and concerns to the surface where they can be talked about and resolved. Following the tension building, relationships go through a 'honeymoon' period where you feel like you are falling in love all over again. The abusive relationship has cycles too. The tension-building period does not lead to a healthy discussion of problems. The abuser may call you names, make threats, or in other ways attempt to make you feel badly about yourself.
Many violent relationships start with verbal abuse and progress into physical abuse.
Following the 'explosion' the abuser is extremely sorry and promises never to behave that way again. The behavior will continue without the abuser getting help to understand their problem and to make changes. You Can Not make the abuser change. We sometimes feel if we just love the person enough, or change ourselves enough, they will be different. Often teens feel they must handle these problems themselves.