The CoMamas Misc. Why the Stepparent Gets Stepped On by Lynne Crowder People who have never been involved in a stepfamily, or who have had an unusually smooth transition to the role of stepparent, are often confused by listening to those of us who have had less than an easy time of it. The stepparent is in a tremendously difficult situation from the very start. How his or her path travels from there depends on many, many factors, including all the personalities involved. You don't automatically like everyone you meet and you shouldn't expect the kids to automatically warm up to you, either.
Relationships take time.
You're an easy target. Kids know how to play their parents against each other, and as a stepparent, you're in a perfect position to become the scapegoat on just about everything if it means they can get their way. Chances are, at least one parent doesn't like you. The ex probably has trouble accepting you in his or her kids' lives, and if the ex communicates that to the kids, then that gives the kids an even better reason to dislike you. Your partner is in the middle of it all.