It is very difficult to change someone's values. No one changes them as the result of an argument with a spouse. People decide to get divorced because they learn over time that their ideas on a wide variety of matters are significantly different from those of their spouse and because they can find no mutually acceptable way to reconcile or respectfully accept these differences. Children are often caught in this conflict both before and after the divorce. They can understand these differences, however, without being forced to side with either parent.
Many marriages end in divorce when one of the partners falls in love with another person.
When this happens the partner who has been left usually feels devastated. When one partner falls in love with someone else, it is usually because there were already considerable personality and value differences in the marriage. For at least one spouse, the relationship was already dead. Children can learn to accept this, even if it is difficult for them to understand at their age. What they do not need is for one parent to use them as a weapon to punish the other.