Both bullies and their victims have psychological and social problems that must be addressed, says Nansel. Those kids may be other bullies, but they have some sort of social group. Youth who were bullies as kids are more likely to have criminal arrests in young adulthood. Most often, their child is being bullied. It's also important to understand the psychology of bullies.
Shame is one of the worst feelings to experience.
Effective discipline is within the context of a loving relationship, not in the context of trying to shame your kid into some kind of obedience. Shaming creates a terribly vicious cycle. Kids feel compelled to take it out on somebody else. The rules are made very clear, very explicit. Nobody makes fun of anybody, nobody calls anybody else names, there's no sexual teasing.