I would think distractions are more welcomed. My mind wanders more now since we have a 3-year old to take care of, but I don't feel like I could blame being a mother for my lack of libido. Yes, it's compromised even more so, but the initial problem is not because of the baby. I certainly did nothing to change that. Mary Dear Mary, You are making the solution to your problem much more difficult than it needs to be.
Men tend to think about sex much of the time because of testosterone.
The thinking about sex doesn't prepare them for sex, it's the testosterone that does it. To be in the mood for sex, a woman does not need to think of her husband all day long. But she does need to be away from her children and with her husband long enough to connect emotionally with him. My experience is that two or three hours are usually enough, but the formula varies with each woman. You say that your passion for your husband never was very high, but that may be due to what you did together, even when you were dating.