If you let us watch your characters interact at key moments, you won t need a narrator. It is important for the audience to care about your characters and want them to succeed. You must find something to love or respect about your characters so we can as well. Make sure that each character is well developed. Many times this means using fewer characters.
Plays are about people and their struggle to achieve their desires.
Wanting them to succeed or fail is what keeps us interested. Written English and spoken English are two very different creatures. Listen to your friends speak they will use sentence fragments, repeat themselves and start speaking in the middle of someone else s sentence. Plays are meant to be spoken. Feel free to break the rules of written English and use spoken English when writing your play.