The truth is that I understand full well the rationale for these dinners, and they are often invaluable in raising funds for wonderful and worthy causes. But there is no law that says that Jews only give money by way of annual dinners. We saved Soviet Jews and Syrian Jews and Ethiopian Jews without dining out. We believed in the cause and we sent our checks. You can't convince me that most people who attend these dinners do so out of anything other than a sense of obligation.
Tonight's the shul dinner.
Perhaps we admire the sponsoring institution or synagogue or cause and feel too guilty to lend our support financially and not physically. No one likes planning these evenings, either. We may volunteer for altruistic reasons and are soon reduced to calling the caterer every day to update the menu and attendance list. And then there are the honorees, those who fuel the engine of these events by not only contributing their money but their entire personal and professional mailing lists, obligating all who know them to show up and pay them homage. The deserving honorees feel awkward, at best, about the limelight, and the undeserving ones cheapen the whole enterprise.