Technique is vital to playing the drums well. Find four or five phone books and set them around you on the floor if playing around the drum set is what you wish to do. Playing around these books will help you get around any drum set easily. Use one of the many electronic drum sets available with headphone capabilities to hear actual drum sounds when you practice. Get drum and cymbal practice pads for your acoustic drum set.
Most drum stores carry sets of pads that also muffle sounds.
Employ the oldest trick in the book. Set up some pillows and bang away. Even your mother won't be disturbed by this. Each of these steps is meant for players with different needs and abilities. Don't waste your time trying to deal with all of them.