Men are afraid of their inexperience, that they will perform badly. Some have lingering guilt feelings. These problems may result in impotence or premature ejaculation in men and in vaginal pain or lack of orgasm in women. First experiences can greatly help or hinder confidence. A caring, tolerant partner is crucial, particularly for women, who often fear they will be abandoned after the man is satisfied.
Some women only become orgasmic in their thirties or forties.
Many men learn orgasm control by delaying orgasm in masturbation, a method prescribed by sex therapists. Sexual maturity does not begin and end with the achievement of orgasm control in men and orgasmic capacity in women. In the first years of marriage sexual activity is often high and pleasure intense. One later danger is that married sex may become a routine that is boring to both partners. Now the challenge is to keep sex alive in marriage.