Wife concedes in advance that it isn't Husband's fault, even though he turned right or left only when he felt like it. Husband acknowledges that he can ask a gas station attendant for directions without looking like a weenie. In the event Husband and Wife manage to reach their destination before the end of the weekend, they agree to resume speaking as soon as they've unpacked. Wife shall be entitled to one gourmet meal per day, which she hereby designates to be dinner. In consideration of same, Wife agrees that lunch shall consist of muffins, butter, and breadsticks stuffed into Wife's pocketbook during breakfast.
Wife agrees to accompany husband on one hike during the course of the weekend.
The steepness of the trail shall be subject to further negotiations. In exchange for the hike, Husband agrees to attend an art auction. Wife promises not to purchase or explain any of the paintings, and Husband need not pretend to like them. The trip home shall be conducted in a manner consistent with Paragraphs 6 through 9, except that Husband shall navigate and Wife shall drive, and both shall be authorized to get even. All Rights Reserved.