Dissension in the ranks. Tried to send a communique back to headquarters detailing recent victories, but message never arrived. Wonder if message was cancelled by same moron that cancelled last one. Begin wondering whether the Anti-Spammers are actually any better or morally superior to the Spammers.
War is hell.
Attempting to send list of recent battlefield victories to headquarters again. Will delete all references to actual original spam in hopes our overzealous anti-spam killer robots will stop launching bombs at it. Cracker supplies low. Send more salted-tops. Yes I have received your message.