All indentifying information had been removed from this letter. Sometimes this works better. I worry too much. Let's start here. It really is unproductive.
Planning is similar to worry, except it is productive.
Try to keep that distinction in mind. I would like to feel more happiness. If you need more time, put it in a money market account at first to give yourself time to study different investments. I don't have what it takes. It would certainly be hard to trust a man after what your husband did.