In Berkeley, I feel it's understood that you'll get there eventually, and if you don't, you will enjoy your way there. They'd quickly launch into an apology for their existence in Berkeley and how less edgy they've become. But the apartment situation there is . . . I actually worked on landlord-tenant stuff this past summer. People are evicted solely because there are no protective laws in certain jurisdictions definitely not a mellow vibe.
People are pretty desperate.
I have a friend, Bonnie, who was looking for a housemate situation. There might have been some necking. In the end, when he offered her the room, she said, I don't feel comfortable living with people who are interested in me. He said, if you don't want to rent the room, I'd still like to date you. She didn't do either.