It is my attitude about someone bringing me my slippers, not the act itself that makes me feel happy or sad. It is easy to see how someone could feel that events or other people control our emotions. Especially when you consider how much failure nontraditional families have experienced relationally. Bad marriages appear to create bad feelings. Abandonment appears to leave behind hurt and anxiety.
Traumatic events appear to result in anger and depression.
Members of nontraditional families often express feeling out of control of their lives as others have hurt or even abused them. I have seen numerous children who were abused by parents, go to live with loving and nurturing parents and they still feel angry. I have witnessed abusive marriages end in divorce and members move on to new relationships with caring people and they still feel depressed. A warm and caring environment or relationship is helpful but it still requires that one work on oneself to achieve lasting happiness. Another expectation that is closely related to making people feel happy and content is the belief that parents will love biological and nonbiological children instantly and to the same degree.