No matter how you involve the children, the estate is yours and ultimately the decision regarding who gets what, falls on you and your spouse's lap. Maintaining Family Goodwill Estate planning has many emotional implications for the people involved and can often result in family disagreements and feelings of unfair treatment. Probably everyone has heard bitter stories of hopes and promises being crushed when the will was finally read. One key to maintaining family goodwill is that no family member be surprised. This can be accomplished by open family discussion of all plans.
Parents have to decide for themselves what they owe their children.
Some believe they should give away everything. What is equal, is our love.