You have to let go of all that to get to the other side. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. Pain is meant to wake us up.
People try to hide their pain.
But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters.