Tries to get user who submitted the most recent job fired. Runs it once a hour from cron . Well, it's upgrade time. Should take a few hours. Hacks kernel to implement file locking.
Rewrites sendmail in assembly.
Locks accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem. I've got my boots and backpack. Users want phone list application. Users give up and go back to post-it notes.