Buy a rewinder, like the ones in the video store. This wears down from rewinding. Also, when recording, if you use OCR to two hours, it will stop the tape before it automatically rewinds. If you can, go to a pawn shop and buy an older VCR that uses a manual dial for the tracking. Your package will be stacked under several hundred pounds of books and crushed.
Priority mail is the standard for video trading.
When shipping internationally, make sure to give it a value of zero and note that it's a gift. I've never had anything seized, but even Canada will charge a huge tarriff. I've found that the more obscure the material, the less likely you are to be ripped off. Most rip-offs are for porn or screeners. It's a good idea to check the email address of a person on Deja News - you might not find complaints, but if you find a lot of spam or chain letters, it's better to steer clear.