The University of Washington's Gottman has tracked 650 couples for up to 14 years. Gottman finds that despite what many marital therapists teach, communicating well and learning how to solve conflicts are not the keys to preserving marriage. Instead, it is a profound friendship that keeps marriages strong. That theme is echoed in the work of Christensen and Jacobson. They are testing their integrative or acceptance-based couples therapy against more traditional help.
Most experts stress that couples therapy can be effective for many.
No one marital therapist or researcher has all the answers. But more are asking questions.