Even if children feel temporarily left out, it can foster their own sense of independence and autonomy. Life, marriage and family are stressful. To think the neighbors have a wonderful effortless marriage is not only an illusion, it can prevent you from acknowledging the strengths within your own relationship. Take time for yourself. Do not just skip over this as you may have done in the past.
Parents often feel selfish thinking about their own needs.
You can not effectively give to others if you are not taking care of yourself. Find activities that reduce stress. Take time to be together. A scheduled appointment sounds ridiculous, but might be the only way to insure time together. This may feel artificial at first because parents often see their primary role as being part of a family rather than being part of a couple.