Now consider our five-step approach that has demonstrated its ability to motivate people to want to change. Describe your feelings Edit accusations that might make people feel put down. By becoming accountable for our own emotions, by owning our feelings, our communication becomes less threatening to other people. Avoid general patterns and accusations. Even if a problem occurs repeatedly, describe a specific example.
Most people are willing to concede that on one occasion they made a mistake.
Pinpointing details means accurately describing observable behaviors without evaluating or interpreting them. Two of our best people are filing harassment charges. Acknowledge your part in the problem Remember that every issue has two sides. When we describe how we contributed, even unintentionally, to the problem, this allows people to gain some distance from their mistakes. Their self-esteem remains intact, and it encourages us to see the world from their point of view.