This theory blames the woman for the violence rather than holding the abuser responsible. The fact that the woman is trying to avoid being hurt is ignored. Because of the prevalence of violence against women and children in this society, many women have been taught to expect violence in their relationships. And periods of being showered with affection and attention make it hard for the woman to leave. It's not the violence a battered woman wants to preserve - it's the relationship.
Many women do leave.
However, some women stay because they have been threatened with worse harm if they leave or because they are economically dependent on their partners. The social and economic controls which a batterer places on a woman and the process of trying to tear down her spirit can immobilize her. What this theory fails to address is the large number of batterers who come from nonviolent families and battered women who come from nonviolent families but become trapped in violent relationships. There is no question that observing violence towards their mother has a tremendous impact on children. But this does not mean that every child of a battered woman will batter or be battered as an adult.