The child does not learn how to achieve desires in an acceptable manner. The good news is there are several positive options. With these options parents can exchange the 5 R's of shame for 5 A's. Instead of a resentful child, the child is guided to be agreeable. A resistant child is exchanged for an assisting child.
Revenge is replaced with accountability.
The 5 A's The 5 A's, agreeable, assisting, amenable, adaptable, and accountable are characteristic of responsibility. It is responsibility that is the ultimate goal for our children. For lasting moral behavior they must react out of intrinsic motivation. They must act because they believe their actions are right and moral, and because they comprehend and take responsibility for the consequences of their actions upon others. The most effective method to help children gain a sense of responsibility for their behavior is to engage them in problem-solving.