Neil felt out of place. Neil represents many unchurched people who are searching spiritually but aren't being reached by the church. They stay away mainly because their needs aren't being met, says Robert Hoyt, director for program and new congregations, ELCA Division for Outreach. Also, unmarried couples living together may feel condemned by the church. Inskeep says roughly two-thirds of singles stay away.
Many singles put their energies into their education and careers.
The absence from church reflects a trend of detachedness. We're even bowling alone. For example, some congregations where members have busy schedules and expendable income may hire a youth pastor rather than have people join the youth board. While the statistics seem bleak, leaders say they are encouraged because interest in spirituality is at a high. At the same time, we can welcome them and extend God's grace.