If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. School lunches stick to the wall. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.