Kids who are rejected again and again tend to avoid their parents, while children with neglectful parents are clingy and angry. Constant hostility can whither a child. Moms and dads who repeatedly berate and belittle their children instill low self-esteem, making them more vulnerable to depression and stress. Kids who are treated poorly by their parents, researchers report, are more likely to misread others' emotions. What's most troubling is that once a kid slips into a negative self-image, it sticks like superglue.
Recent research suggests that the bond between fathers and daughters is especially vulnerable.
In one study, fathers in less happy marriages were more negative toward their daughters than fathers in happy marriages. Psychologist Patricia Kerig suggests that as fathers withdraw emotionally from their wives they may do the same with their daughters. This may impair later relationships with adult men. All of the bad things we've been talking about don't have to happen. It's not that parents fight that is so distressing to children, it's how they fight.