In an effort to gain new insights into additional methods of exploration of ourselves and ways to further the healing process, Joe Soll had asked several group facilitators to share with him their ideas or practices they use of ways to try to help encourage and support its members in their efforts to learn to effectively deal with their emotions and feelings about our unique situation. As members of the triad, the way we experience the world is quite different in many ways from everyone else's experience of it, and, therefore, if we can all learn from each other, maybe our healing can be just a bit easier. In response to Joe's request, the Kalamazoo Birthparent Support Group wrote back and suggested a special activity which they believe to be quite helpful during any gift giving holiday or celebration. The following is an excerpt from the December Birthparent meeting letter sent to their members just prior to Christmas. It was written by Carol Gray.
Rituals can be tremendously effective in the healing process.
Most birthmothers want to give something of significance to their son or daughter. Often we don't know what would be appropriate and not overwhelming, or what would be well received and accepted. What we want to give is what we were not able to give during the years of separation. This is, under most circumstances, impossible or unrealistic. In December, we will be doing an exercise that will entail bringing a gift for your son or daughter, talking about it's significance , and wrapping it.