In the background sounds the pulsing beat of techno music. The music and image fade, to reveal a man, perfect in form and appearance, every hair in place, wearing a jet black suit and a dark, sparkling tie. He leans forward slightly, as the camera focuses in on him. Good morning, and I would like to extend a warm and personal welcome to each and every one of you from those of us at the Church of the Holy Television.
Music begins to play, and the screen shows a woman holding a microphone.
She is wearing a long dress of the whitest white, the color traditionally symbolic of goodness and purity, which somehow manages not to conceal her unnaturally large breasts. The camera slowly focuses in as she begins to sing. Just call out to Jesus, and he'll make them go away. Just call out to Jesus, and he'll make them go away. As the music fades, the camera returns to the man.