Part of what makes it hard is getting children to do what we want them to do and to stop doing what we don't like, and to do this without damaging the relationship. Parents need tools that help them succeed in this most challenging of occupations. To thrive, children need to feel their parents love. But they also need firm guidance to develop the discipline it takes to become strong, caring and competent young adults. To foster good behavior, we can provide rewards for actions we like and sanctions for those we don't.
Most experts agree that it's important to do both.
Here are two strategies suggested by research. Use a point chart to encourage good behavior. It's good to recognize and praise our children for doing well. But praise usually isn't enough. To make a point chart, get a sheet of paper or large index card and place the name of the child at the top.