This, like all feelings, needs talking and working through so that it doesn t become an additional stress. And then there are the resentments that come with all that has to be done, especially for a demanding baby and other family members, with no time left over for you. Well-meaning visitors, including health care professionals, may put their attention into your new baby and it can be a shock to feel relatively unimportant after a pregnancy where you were made to feel special. You may feel angry at things that went wrong during or after the birth, especially if your baby needed medical attention. It can be hard to come to terms with the intensity of love and anger that can well up at the same time.
New mothers can wake in fright at night wondering whether their babies are still breathing.
It is common to find thinking and concentrating difficult, to become absent-minded and forgetful. There is such a high expectation to have strong feelings that it can be a shock to feel relatively little, especially towards the baby. This surfaces when too many other feelings come at once, when the demands on your time and energy are overwhelming, when you feel that you just can t cope. Women wonder whether life will ever feel normal, and ask themselves how they will ever manage to do simple, ordinary things like washing their hair and cooking a simple meal again. A difficult birth followed by post-natal stress and a demanding baby may leave you feeling shipwrecked and drive a wedge between you and your partner that is difficult to heal.