No matter how short the duration in the red zone, a ticket will appear whenever you take a nap. The day the alarm system is turned off is the day the car gets ripped off. Every bird within sight will consider your car an appropriate pit stop. No matter where your car is initially parked, it will be scratched when you return. At the end of a particularly hard day, your battery will be dead.
Most cars are compacts, regardless of whether they can fit into a compact space.
When parking, bicycle riders become the most envied people on campus. The sudden occurrence of tunnel vision increases exponentially with the sudden appearance of a parking spot. The likelihood of jail time increases exponentially with the sudden appearance of a parking spot. I don't guarantee that you'll make it home any sooner, but at least you'll know why you're stewing in the middle of a traffic jam on the 405 or the 10. Praise will also be accepted.