To improve your aim, improve yourself. If you suspect you are deceiving yourself in one or more of these instances, it is important to face the situation squarely. Think about your possible underlying motives. Don't continue deceiving yourself and, most importantly, don't continue to be inconsiderate of others without realizing the harm you are doing. We can surely find better ways to reduce our tension than by lying to ourselves and to others.
Many therapists believe that conflicts with others account for most stress.
According to these writers, insight helps us change. Even if interpersonal stress is not a cause of a problem, other people can often help with the solution. It is usually especially reassuring to talk with people who have had the same problems as you have had. These support groups include the famous Alcoholics Anonymous and hundreds of other specialized groups for dieting, Parents Without Partners, parents of children with terminal illnesses, ex-psychotics, unemployed, abusive parents, people going through divorce, etc. etc. Call your Mental Health Center to locate the self-help group of interest to you.