I believe we all have sexual urges and no I don't believe they need to be fulfilled by looking at all the bodies we see.
Women also have sexual urges.
The parts of a car are installed at the factory by the car maker. Likewise, the sexual urges we have were installed at the factory by our maker-God. He knows we have these urges, He's the One that put them there. He also knows that any good thing He has created has been defiled by sin and satan turning their intended uses into the addictions that we read about and want deliverence from here on this site. That sounds exactly like what the people told you and your husband.