I'm talking, of course, about the tragedy of slicked-down hair. There's something positively immoral about a grown man like Trent Lott walking around in public with a head that looks like it's been dipped in two coats of shellac. This isn't a conclusion I've come to in haste, I can assure you. God's own breezes can't muss him. God's own raindrops can't rumple him.
Some people have problems with alcohol.
Other people have a sex addiction. Other people are kleptomaniacs. I'd put slicked-down hair in that same category. I'd be happy to read you all the biblical verses that support my position on this question, just as soon as I come up with them. Now, I'm not saying we should mistreat slicked-down people, or treat them as outcasts, no matter how disgusting we might find their behavior.