In fact, we often pride ourselves in our ability to process this information into a rapid retort. Resistance is a buying signal - welcome it. The result is that we communicate internally, from our own perspective, often trying to solve the wrong problem with incomplete data. Our counterpart provides content, but the focus of the discussion is typically our understanding of them and our understanding of ourselves. The challenge is to break free of self-contained conversation.
Real communication involves hearing more than words.
We have to actively discover what our counterpart intends to say and not make assumptions as to the meaning of their statements. Think about what you do naturally when you're trying to convey genuine empathy, and use these skills in negotiations. Anything that communicates a genuine effort to understand, whether we call it active listening, empathic listening, or reflective consideration, qualifies as effective negotiating. The core skill involved is giving feedback. Feedback involves taking a thoughtful guess at your counterpart's underlying thoughts, feelings and motivations.