By Helene Brun , MFT We all live in separate bodies, but our physical boundaries don't end at our skin. Each of us has a space around us that we also consider personal. Everyone has their own comfortable distances with family, friends and strangers that they try to maintain, usually unconsciously. The culture and the family in which we were raised largely determine our comfort zones.
Most people automatically adjust their distances to suit their immediate situation.
For example, we may accept the temporary closeness of other bodies while standing in line for a movie. Yet once inside the theater, we spread out from strangers if we can. Of course, there are also times when we cross each other's boundaries by mutual agreement, as with a lover or during a visit to the dentist. The many faces of abusers As a couples counselor, I sometimes get calls from people who hit one another. I believe a person in an abusive relationship should be prepared to leave it.