Parents must ensure that the transitions between the two parents' homes are free of parental arguing and tension. Three to five year-olds are attached to their regular caregivers and separation may cause them to be uncomfortable and anxious. Three to five year-olds may show increased discomfort when moving between parents' homes. They may become very upset at these times. This behavior does not necessarily mean that the other parent is not a good parent or that the child does not want to be with the other parent.
Parents can make exchanges easier for children by following predictable schedules.
Three to five year-olds may benefit from structured time with children their own age, away from parents. This time helps them to develop social skills and to learn that they can be safe and happy away from both parents. Children are more likely to resist going to the other parent if the parents are tense, hostile or argue with each other at the exchange. If tension is present, the child might become difficult to manage or might display a variety of behaviors consistent with emotional problems. If parents cannot be pleasant, or at least neutral, they should limit communication at these exchanges.