Even as you allow yourself to feel sad, you will also hold on to the belief that you can eventually move forward. Do not say good-bye to goals or dreams, but factor in that life can and does disappoint. Don't Be Ashamed to Hurt. The inability to forgive often exists in direct proportion to the tendency to hold on to unnecessary shame or embarrassment. Shame can keep you from being honest about your pain.
Shame belongs only in incidents in which no repentance or remorse is registered.
If you know yourself to be conscientious and growing, shame has no place in your life. Commit to an End to Your Grief. Your grief will be intense at first, then you will still have recurrences of sadness, but they start to spread out. The inability to forgive is often driven by pessimism that life will never progress beyond the current grief. Knowing that the pain will decrease and feeling like it will are two seperate matters.