Up, You're being had if you think your boyfriend's wife was totally at fault in their split. He was having an affair with you, and probably being verbally abusive to her in the bargain. Now you are beginning to see how he can really is, now that you're together as a couple. I'd suggest you call his ex, ask her out to lunch, and get the real story on how he can behave when angered. In the meantime, stop ignoring his abusive behavior.
Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, sometimes even worse.
Putting up with that and constant criticism is destructive to your self-esteem and to your relationship as well. And simply calling him on it and telling him to stop isn't enough either. Obviously, it's not working or you wouldn't be writing me. Bad behavior has to have repercussions. In other words, there has to be a punishment for a boyfriend who is verbally abusive.