Let the kids know The best approach is to tell your children, now, how the money will be divided and why. Even unequal division of property can be perceived as fair, if all the children agree. You might minimize friction by dividing the heirlooms equally, or give more of them to the children who will otherwise inherit less. Heirlooms matter a lot, including those of purely sentimental value. Families can fall out as much over little things as big ones.
Wise parents talk with their children, over months or years, about which heirloom each wants most.
That doesn't always guarantee peace, but it helps a lot. Parents should be especially clear in families where there's a second spouse and stepchildren. So think about leaving those children some money in trust. Getting rid of a home Think twice, no, thrice, before leaving two or more children a share of a vacation home. Inevitably, they won't agree on how to manage the property.