After all, a lot of people unhappily married do not have affairs. Usually, therapists say, it is a combination of factors that culminate in an affair. For many couples that decide to stay together after an affair, restoring trust is a key issue. Therapists point out that honest and open communication is a place to start. That may mean learning new skills and changing expectations of what a marriage can realistically provide to both spouses.
Physical attractions are normal.
But we go about it backwards and address all of those feelings and issues after the crises. Start talking now. Start from day one of the marriage. And the open communication must be ongoing. In the aftermath of an affair, people waste time focusing on blame rather than healing and understanding, she says.