What may begin as normal adolescent sexuality gets escalated because mother, and father too, get invested in trying to control the girl. They ground her, they listen to her phone calls, they read her diary, they try to limit who she can associate with. The family soon spends all its time worrying about the daughter's sexuality and the parents never have to worry about their own. You can take the same scenario we've been talking about with girls, moms, and sex, and apply it to boys, dads, and aggression. The harder the family tries to control the kid, the more his antisocial behavior escalates.
Marriage starts in a projection.
We endow the person we love with the magical ability to make us happy. The more emotionally mature we are, the quicker we realize that no one else really has that power. Then we have to deal with the effect of that disappointment on the relationship. Every marriage faces a series of such disappointments, as new developmental tasks make us wish again for some magical solution. These destructive marriages are patterns of responses to disappointment.