Preschoolers tend to yell more, be more irritable, stutter, shake, rock, have nightmares and other sleep disturbances. Children under 10 years tend to blame themselves and believe that they are the cause of the violence. In general, young children who witness wife abuse are less able to solve personal problems in assertive and healthy ways. Adolescents Boys may become abusive in their own dating relationships. Girls may accept abuse from boys as a normal part of having a boyfriend.
Teens frequently assume parenting roles in their family and assume the role of protector.
Children 11 years and up don't usually blame themselves for the violence, but they don't necessarily assign responsibility to the abuser either. They may well excuse him and may side with him because he has the power in the family. They may feel angry with Mom for not protecting herself. When the parents separate or Dad stops his violence When the children begin to feel safe, they will often talk about the abuse or draw pictures of it. This is their way of dealing with it and making sense of it.