Parents who remember to talk to their children as they talk to their friends discover that their children pay closer attention to what they say. Tell them what you want. Children respond better to being told what to do rather than what not to do. A few necessary, clear, and reasonable limits that are enforced consistently give children the security that parents are helping them behave. Too many rules set everyone up for failure because they cannot be remembered and they cannot be enforced with consistency.
Rules are for protecting the health, safety, and property rights of the child and others.
Give chances to choose. Giving a child choices allows him some appropriate power over his life and encourages decision making. The choices offered must be within acceptable limits and the child's developmental and temperamental abilities. The parent may say the rule and then the choice. As children grow older, they may be offered a wider variety of choices and allowed to accept the consequences of their choices.