Initially, both kids, conditioned by years of school, had waited for me to set the pace, to make decisions, and, if effect, to entertain them. It did NOT happen overnight. Through trial and error, though, we eventually discovered several family attitudes and practices that encourage self-directed learning. Here they are, in no particular order. Some techniques work better in some families than others.
Some teenagers respond better, some worse, to certain approaches.
Encourage and support any self-directed activity. Self-directed activity is an activity the kid will do on his own, without your urging. It is what he does when nobody is telling him what to do. Get rid of, turn off, or restrict TV and mindless video games. My first choice was to get rid of the tube.