Dr Cotton recalls a female client who had become highly stressed while undergoing a performance appraisal at work. She had been dumping on her partner to the point that that was all she could talk about. Her partner moved out because he couldn't stand it any more. Mr Collins says this can be a particular problem for lesbian couples as women tend to listen longer before reaching breaking point than men do. Dr Cotton and Mr Collins also discussed the problems caused by the male tendency to keep quiet about their problems.
Men are more inwardly focused.
Gay and lesbian couples are also more likely to have similar jobs with similar demands. The relative status of jobs and how stress is dealt with is less easily managed in same-sex couples. Dr Cotton offers an Employee Assistance Program from his Brisbane practice and says that relationship issues, particularly one or more partners bringing stress home, is the reason many people attend. He recommends learning to segregate office and home and cultivating the skill of switching off. Developing genuine interests away from work is also important, as is dealing with lifestyle issues such as sleep and diet.