The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens. The state treats you like shit. Secular-Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation. The shit that happens is not the true shit. There's only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want.
Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number.
It's logically impossible for shit to happen. There's a full lotus shit happening. This shit has happened before. If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. If shit happens, you deserve it.