Anyway, this wasn't some fire-breathing mutt, this was a little gray and white, cute, soft and cuddly cat. I am not an animal person. Don't get me wrong, I like animals. They're an essential part of our ecosystem and are an integral part of life. They can be very beautiful on Animal Planet or behind bars.
Some animals are especially nice covered in honey barbecue sauce with a side order of curly fries.
I like animals. They just have no place living in my house. If I wanted to share my space with an animal, I'd move into a fucking gopher hole or bird's nest, thank you very much. Now, I live with three girls. I knew that eventually I would lose and we'd have a pet.