You have no control over what you experience emotionally. You can only choose how to express those emotions. There are no wrong feelings. Your feelings are as much a part of you as your arms and legs. Accept them, recognize them, and learn to deal with them to reduce stress and tension.
Relaxation techniques are effective in reducing tension.
Recognizing tension is the first step. Knowing how to reduce tension is a learned skill. Taking some of the responsibility for your own recovery involves learning how to recognize tension and using your relaxation skills to reduce tension and decrease pain. Not only is relaxation an effective means to reduce pain but it is within your control. Pain is a frightening thing.