In a second marriage with children, it is also about being united as a couple, but we will leave that subject to another time. The husband gets what he wants in a second marriage by giving his wife what she wants. The wife gets what she wants in a second marriage by giving her husband what he wants. Marriage partners provide mutual support and help each other with mundane problems. They compliment each other and both contribute to the marriage, often by compromise.
Real marriages take place in the everyday world.
And second marriages with children are ever-so real. When you want a fantasy, you dream up a prince or princess, all wonderful. No person or relationship can live up to that dream. Add a few children such as his, hers, and ours, and you have more reciprocity and compromise than bliss and fantasy. When they return, you can expect more reciprocity and compromise than bliss and fantasy.