Shared, responsible decision making begins with good communication. A foundation of good communication skills helps strengthen mutual respect and trust in a family. Careful listening may help develop a smoother relationship. Adolescents try to test new types of freedom and ideas. Research shows that younger teens tend to push and exaggerate differences with their parents as a way to establish their own identities.
Older teens see themselves as more similar to their parents.
Because they are becoming more independent, teens tend to react negatively to parents' telling them what to do. Encouraging them to talk to you often about their ideas and feelings may help. One way to help them establish a sense of independence is to develop rules in your family for curfews, chores, money, visitors, homework, and other issues. When you work together to develop these rules, it helps establish a positive relationship. Acknowledge his or her feelings.