Over time, spanking actually makes parenting more difficult because it reduces the ability of parents to influence children, especially in adolescence. Children are more likely to do what parents want when there is a strong bond of affection and trust with the parent. Spanking chips away at this important bond. Many parents believe that if they don t spank, children will run wild and be uncontrollable. The alternative to spanking isn t to ignore misbehavior or to replace spanking with verbal attacks.
Many parents already know and use other, non-violent ways of teaching and controlling behavior.
Non-spanking parents also pay more attention to their children s behavior, both good and bad, than parents who spank do. Contrary to myth, most parents who spank tend to use it for almost any misbehavior. Many parents spank before trying other methods. Daily spanking is not uncommon, and parents who spank often don't realize how often they are hitting their children. Because violence is so common in our culture, many parents believe they need to prepare their children for the violence-filled real world by toughening them up.