If you are in one, you probably come for a difficult family situation, in which your emotional needs were not met. Maybe there was alcoholism or divorce or physical abuse. Or maybe there was just a lot of fighting or neglect or competition. Since we first learn about relationships at home, we may not acquire the skills necessary for loving more appropriately. We may choose our partners and our style of loving in an effort to cope with a painful or difficult childhood.
Women often become care givers, trying to gain love by taking care of others.
Men may learn to avoid closeness, becoming over involved in work or sports or substance abuse. All of us have, or will at one time in our lives, love too much. The problem arises when we move from one painful relationship to the next, or stay in a negative relationship far too long because we're afraid to get out. Because this situation relates back to childhood patterns, it is often difficult to battle alone. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship, the first step is deciding your deserve something better and committing yourself to getting it.