As children react to their less than secure home lives with distress and anger, discipline may become more harsh and inconsistent as the mother tries to recapture control. Fathers who see their children only occasionally are apt to be more permissive and lenient, which often conflicts with the mother's style of parenting and makes her task of managing the children on a day to day basis more difficult. The cognitive immaturity of preschool age children often makes it hard for them to understand the reasons behind their parents' separation. They tend to blame themselves and look at marital breakup as abandonment. They may cling to the parent they live with, displaying intense separation anxiety.
Older children are better able to understand the reasons behind their parents' divorce.
They recognize that strong differences and lack of caring for one and other are responsible for the break up. The ability to accurately assign blame helps to alleviate some of the pain children experience from a family break up. Girls will sometimes show internalizing reactions, such as crying, self-criticism, and withdrawal. They are more likely to display demanding, attention getting behavior. Boys may experience more adjustment difficulties than girls.