This device will be able to swivel, spin, vibrate, or tilt a person's chair to simulate earthquakes, clothes dryers, and other moving experiences. Young web page designers are most excited about the tag that is rumored to be in the works. This tag will cause the user's screen to emit brilliant white flashes at regular intervals, like a strobe-light in a disco. The strobe effect will continue for 30 seconds and cannot be stopped, except by re-booting the computer. Of course, it will make the text on the screen illegible, but we are opposed to the use of text on web pages anyway.
Text is boring.
Text has a tendency to contain information, and that's not what we're here for. Let's try to keep that in mind.