We have to take those sorts of things seriously. You will be found and you will be arrested. Just don't do it. A waiting time of 6 months is not unheard of. Response times range from 2 weeks to 1 year.
Many guides list average response times from various publishers.
If you don't hear anything for a couple of months, write a polite note. If you don't hear anything for a year, call or write and ask politely. It's possible that the editor you sent your manuscript to has moved to another house and your manuscript is sitting at the bottom of a new, very large pile. If you call during those times, expect either a phone machine, or a polite refusal to discuss business at that time. Anyway I'd be pleased to write back, but you may have to wait a week or more, when I surface from whatever my current project is.