Always swim with a buddy, because beautiful lifeguards come running in pairs. Sharks are afraid of jet skis. If you ever have to choose between being a lifeguard and keeping your job as an attorney at a prestigious law firm, start your own practice. People who are trapped underwater in an airplane should conserve their oxygen and wait for lifeguards to arrive with the underwater arc welder. Avoid all marine life, even the spongy ones who look as cuddly and soft as Traci Bingham's ample bosom.
Water is some dangerous shit, yo.
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