They think if they had behaved better, their parents would have stayed together. Preschoolers may feel responsible. When being punished, perhaps the child wished one parent would go away and now that parent is gone. The child may believe that the wish is what made the parent leave. Preschoolers often become very angry, which they show by attacking the parent they blame or by turning their anger inward and becoming depressed or withdrawn.
Parents can encourage their child to share questions and concerns about the separation or divorce.
They can encourage their child to express feelings, including anger, through talking, physical activity, or art work. Parents can set aside time daily to reassure their child that both parents understand and love him or her. They can tell their child, repeatedly if needed, that he or she isn't responsible for the divorce. Elementary school children begin to understand what divorce means. They believe that their parents don't love each other and know they won't be living together any longer.