More often than not, these are real experiences of pain or discomfort generated in this case by anxiety and not physical pathology. There are children who cope with a sibling's illness or injury by becoming surrogate parents either through self-appointment or a parent's more or less explicit request. These are natural and sometimes necessary requests in a family focused around one child's pain. Often, a healthy sibling will want some part of helping a sick brother or sister but when this role becomes part of the child's identity, problems can arise. When parentification cheats a child out of her childhood, forces her to make decisions and carry responsibilities prematurely, it is one path to later unhappiness.
Silence is golden.
The silent sibling, the child who conveniently fades into the woodwork, who sits by passively, withdrawn or isolated or scared, may seem conveniently out of the way. But the disappearing act comes with a price. Even more so than the parentified child, the silent sibling is burying her strong feelings, feelings that will inevitably come back to haunt her later. She feels like an invisible non- member of the family. The silent child's silence is as much a plea for attention as the acting out child's disruptiveness, albeit without the oil-getting squeak.