The love we expressed has been limited. Both partners have been projecting their illusions onto each other. We have been using the person as an object to meet our personal needs. Sometimes the illusions remain in place and we feel as though we have won. Other times the illusion slips away and we lose.
True love has no object.
It is a warm, caring, kind attention that is given without expectation of any return. When we have expectations, we are bound to be disappointed. When we have expectations we are not able to receive what is there. We are too focused on what we want. To some it may seem unrealistic, being able to give without expecting anything in return.