By working together in mediation to develop a parenting plan, parents can avoid the battles which are so damaging in an adversarial process, and can include their children in the decision-making in a way that empowers them in a healthy way. When parents use mediation and develop a parenting plan on their own, their children will be able to avoid loyalty conflicts and are less likely to feel the stress of battling parents. When children are included in the decision-making process, they benefit because they can express their feelings and know that their parents are listening to them. Mediation gives children a much greater sense that they have a say in their lives and a freedom to contribute to the decisions that affect their lives. Courts that offer mediation services do their clients a big service.
Research shows that mediation can reduce litigation over custody.
Parents are usually much more satisfied with mediation than with litigation. Most important, however, if parents use mediation, they will have control over the parenting plan, whereas in adversarial litigation, the judge determines how parents will spend time with their children. With the improved satisfaction, the increased mutual decision-making, and the decreased hostility, mediation is clearly a healthier alternative than litigation. For those parents who live in an area where court-connected mediation is not available, private mediation services are usually available and are typically well worth the investment, especially in comparison to the alternative of litigation. Parents will probably save money and have more control over the outcome if they use mediation.