We believe even daily behaviors should change only when necessary and agreed upon in advance. Yet our period of courting has been a time of great deception. We exaggerated our virtues and strongpoints. We understated or sometimes even concealed many of our faults and weakpoints. We took an interest in activities and subjects that had never been interesting before just to please our partners.
Men do it and women do it.
We were convincing someone to share our lives. We wanted their respect, trust, love, and affection. In short, we were selling ourselves. And our partner was doing the same. Because partners feel angry when these unconscious agreements are broken, courtship assumptions should be laid on the table and discussed.