I'm afraid that something will happen to them, and I won't know. When Emily died, not only was she in Costa Rica, but I was on spring break in France at the time. All in all, as a way to find out, it could definitely be improved. The point is, now I've got a fear that I didn't have before. I'm wearing black because of the occasion, but I don't feel it.
Today is just a day.
I don't miss Emily particularly, at least not just because of the date, and I think she would want it that way. Sometimes I miss her intensely. About five weeks ago I stormed and cried and raged and howled at the snow and sky which, mute, chanted to me at every moment that Emily was not there, was not anywhere. I felt like my heart was bursting, and I couldn't contain the pieces. I hadn't cried anywhere near that hard since Emily's memorial service.