I used luke warm water. After a few repitiions, they chose the latter. They are not at fault, it is natural for them. Doing so will only make them more likely to bite or defend themselves more agressively. Accept the fact that you will eventually get bit, and be prepared for it.
Monitors are carnivores.
Feeding should be done every few days for adults, more for young monitors. Though care must be taken not to overfeed. Many monitors will eat any time they can. This can lead to obese monitors, which like in humans, is unhealthy. Mice and rodents will be required, and in great quantities.