It lingers like a ghost that haunts us in so many of our interactions. We start to worry about being powerful enough, and about staying in control no matter what happens. Often many of us will seek out sex in the hopes of finding a kind of safe haven from the world of fear or competition in the arms of a woman, but low and behold, the ghost of male violence is there too, urging us to stay in control, to get our way at all costs, to perform like a feelingless machine. The ghost reminds us to be tough and to stay on our guard, and to mistrust women because they might expose our soft side, our achilles heel, the soft spot through which the threat of violence might get to us. Unfortunately, we all pay a high price.
Women bear the brunt of the abuse.
As you may know, every 2-3 minutes a woman is raped in the United States. 1 in 3 females are sexually abused before age 18, and 1 in 2.5 women are victims of a sexual assault sometime in their lifetimes. The way things are set up right now, women can't even trust men who are close to them, the ones who they have been led to believe will be their protectors, if they submit to their control and direction. Needless to say, it can be psychologically devastating to be abused by someone who you thought could be trusted. We must not forget that men pay a price too, though.