Some confusion comes because we do not separate essence from function. The Trinity sets the pattern for all God-ordained institutions and structures of authority. The home, human, government, and church have their pattern for function set in the Trinity. When we understand the difference between essence and function everything else comes into crisp focus. There is the Ontological Trinity and the Economical Trinity.
Ontology is the study of essence, and economy is the study of function.
Jesus Christ surrendered no divine essence to take on the function of a man. If He surrendered essence and authority to become a servant, then we have no hope. Thankfully, He did not. Christ is the head of the man, man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ. In essence He maintained His Deity and authority.