The violence of a car crash or the swift death caused by a heart attack gives the individual no time to know what is happening. Even death that occurs a day or two after an accident, operation, or acute illness is too entangled with the treatment of the condition for the patient to realize that he or she is dying. There is little time for the physician to discuss the matter with the family, other than to warn them of the possibility. The patient rarely suffers, but the family is left unprepared and appalled by the disaster. The family needs expert help from the physician, the nurses, and the clergy.
Medical help can soften the initial grief.
The children and relatives can help each other. The very fact that they are being constructive produces an unexpected strength to cope with funeral arrangements, lawyers, and the hospital. Friends and neighbors can help the bereaved family in a practical way by helping with the shopping and other domestic chores. Adjusting to life after the sudden death of a loved one is difficult. The surviving relative needs a chance to talk over the death.