Looking at some of the personal gains and losses associated with two negative roles can offer some insight. Obvious drawbacks include fines, incarceration, and other penalties. What might begin as frequent absences from school can later evolve into a full-blown disorder. Excessive drinking and drug use are also sometimes used to establish a role of someone who is not quite well or not fully in control, and who therefore needs special consideration. As self-destructive as these roles are, people are often reluctant to give them up because they do not know any other way to live.
Personal gain includes positive attention and avoiding responsibilities when sick.
In most cases, self-defeating reputations are not as extreme as these two examples. First, find the courage to discover how others perceive you and what you are doing to cause people to perceive you as they do. Those who can move beyond this fear can begin by taking a personality test designed to describe how other people see you. If you decide to take it, discuss your results with trusted people who know you well to confirm the portrait painted by the test. It is physically impossible to observe yourself in the same way that others observe you.