I can't speak for my partner, but I find the foreplay stage much more exciting and stimulating, enjoyable if you will, than the actual intercourse. I pretty much have an explanation for his roughness though. The reason he was kind of rough with me during his orgasm was because he wanted me to be rough with him. To put it simply, I like to be teased, I like taking things slowly in the foreplay stage, I like being gently licked up my stomach to my breasts. I guess that's what does it, because I love to flex those muscles during sex.
Nipples are very important.
I can reach orgasm buy gentle sucking on them alone, with no direct contact to any other part of my body. I get the easier it is for me to achieve orgasm. It's just become a lot easier to tell my partners what I want and how I want it. On the other hand, it's also become less important whether we achieve orgasm. I like long-term lovers that I can take my time and study the way my body and his body react.