Gentle Reader, How fortunate it is for the young lady you are employing that your own experience as a bartender has made you eager to have her properly tipped. This is because the amount of her tip is entirely within your control. You are the one who gets to do all the tipping. All of it. Miss Manners keeps trying to explain that there is a difference between being a host and running a public accommodation, and between being a guest and being a customer, but it's an uphill battle.
People keep trying to think of their social lives as business.
Let's start with the fact that hosts do not charge their guests. Whatever refreshment and service hosts choose to provide, they provide it. If you can't afford to hire help, which includes proper tipping, then you must find a cheaper way to entertain. Dear Miss Manners, Recently, the husband of a friend of my grandmother, and also of mine, died. She has always displayed her lack of loving feelings toward him, and often expressed hatred of him.