To let her know she has nothing to hide, ask to see the scar or reconstruction while she's still hospitalized, Glass says. If you're afraid you'll be horrified by her appearance, privately ask the doctor to see sample pictures of a mastectomy or reconstruction ahead of time. When you react to her new body, don't lie, says Janet Osuch, M.D., a surgical oncologist and professor at Michigan State University. Telling a woman she looks great can make her feel disoriented and distrustful. She wants to feel loved and wanted.
Some men give gifts to help their mates feel better.
Wellisch remembers one man who bought his wife two fur coats after her mastectomy. Irritated, the woman felt he was treating the loss of her breast superficially. Though she might be uninterested in sex initially, she'll still crave affection. Most men don't understand that she doesn't feel sexual anymore. If she is open to sex, don't necessarily interpret vaginal dryness as lack of libido.