Your first reaction is to evaluate based solely on your own frame of reference and your first action is to try to fix the problem by presenting a solution. Another typical example can be found in a sales meeting. The overwhelming likelihood is that you will evaluate whether you agree or disagree and follow that up with some judgment about the beliefs of the other person. We interpret others' behavior, what we see, what we hear and feel, and then based on a quick analysis, plan a response. In fact, we often pride ourselves in our ability to process this information into a rapid retort.
Resistance is a buying signal - welcome it.
The result is that we communicate internally, from our own perspective, often trying to solve the wrong problem with incomplete data. Our counterpart provides content, but the focus of the discussion is typically our understanding of them and our understanding of ourselves. The challenge is to break free of self-contained conversation. Real communication involves hearing more than words. We have to actively discover what our counterpart intends to say and not make assumptions as to the meaning of their statements.