They quickly learn how to manipulate people to obtain the results they desire. There is probably a different answer for this question for every child identified as oppositional. However, some general explanations seem to apply to most oppositional children. First and foremost is that their oppositional behavior pays off in some type of reward. Most often the children are not even aware of their own intentions.
Most parents express that they don t have a clue as to what is happening.
To understand this more clearly we need to examine the focus of both the parents and child. Winning does not necessarily mean the outcome of the argument leads to desired objects or activities. Power can be demonstrated in a number of ways. For example, power can be demonstrated if the child is able to make the parent angry, cause an argument between mother and father, delay going to an appointment, or simply increase tension within the household. After recovering from the initial shock they come to realize that they are the primary target of their child's wrath.