We want to have the freedom to ignore 'no' or have our own 'no' ignored. My silence about lesbian sadomasochism ended when I saw two anti Semitic sadomasochists at a women's festival. When I protested, the woman in leather politely listened and agreed to remove her own Nazi insignia and her captive's yarmulke. Racism seems to be more acceptable to them if it is eroticized. Somehow, if eroticized, the humiliation, sadism and torture of racism and anti Semitism become acceptable.
Torture always has a sexual component to it.
The whole issue of censorship is used to intimidate us and silence critical dialogue about sadomasochism. I do not think so. The ability of words to hurt should not be underestimated. The threat of rape is backed up by words, weapons which define us as objects and which tell us we deserve whatever we get. Women's self-hate arises as much from verbal assault as from physical assault.