I really had to summon all of my programming skills to produce an unobfuscated program. The judges in the contest learned that many programmers don't understand the meaning of 'unobfuscated perl'. Participants were supposed to produce code that could actually be understood by somebody other than a ten-year Perl veteran. Instead, we get an implementation of a Java Virtual Machine. And a version of the Linux kernel ported to Win32 Perl.
Program contains zero comments.
Please start using them or else a representative from the nearest Perl Mongers group will come to your house and beat you over the head with a cluestick. Code at line 412 indicates that programmer is an idiot. Please correct error between chair and monitor. To Do It, your method at line 523 is particularly stupid. Please try again.