I remember thinking that I hate this spider and that I was still a little scared of it. Well, I guess the spider magically jumped to the top of the table, even though I didn't see it, where I started to pound it with the chair leg till its greenish-gray guts were splattered on the gray walls. I wasn't scared of it anymore. I really need help interpreting what the spider actually is. Ever since I met Mike, I have not been sad and nothing has let me down.
Spiders are creepy creatures.
They also trap their prey in invisible webs of elaborate design. I am impressed by your maturity in managing your emotions and relationships. It is hard to end relationships with people that previously we cared a great deal for - but your trip to Hawaii, as you said, was an awakening for you. On that trip you realized that your relationship with your ex was not healthy - that you were with him for security instead of love. You trusted your inner voice, and as you said, it did not let you down.