There is no smoking allowed on this flight. Our washrooms are equipped with electric zappers in the toilet seats that will automatically fry your butt if you even so much as think about lighting up in there. Occasionally, we throw the switch at random just for fun. We d never do that. With the introduction of this new monopolistic airline to the unregulated and highly profitable skies over Canada, we d also like to tell you about our new Air Miles program.
Passengers traveling on standby have to pay eighteen cents per kilometer.
For those of you hoping to make a connection in Toronto to go somewhere else on one of our other flights - forget about it. It isn t gonna happen. So you re going to Toronto today, period. Deal with it. In conclusion, I d once again like to thank you for flying with us today.