A good mediator knows how to control upset, calm fears, equalize the bargaining power, and keep you focused on needs and interests. A mediator can help you get unstuck by shedding new light and bringing in new ideas and options. In order to mediate, both spouses have to be willing to make full disclosure of all facts. You have to trust that your spouse will not be lying or concealing anything important. One of the few disadvantages of mediation compared to court battle is that information cannot be taken under oath.
Mediators are usually lawyers or family counselors.
A family law attorney who is also trained in mediation is ideal but any mediator with extensive training in family law can do the job. Your mediator has to be able to deal with the whole divorce and all the legal and emotional issues at one time. Lawyer-mediators will probably know more about laws, likely outcomes of cases, and legal aspects of settlement agreements. Lawyers will usually tend to be more practical, more business-like. Team mediation is very effective although more expensive.