Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.