WHY it should happen, only the certain knowledge that there is a compulsion to behave in a way which is totally unacceptable to family, friends and peers. Little wonder that the subject will believe that if he declares himself before marriage, his chosen partner will reject him. Why some women seem to have little difficulty in accepting cross-dressing in their partner while others suffer terribly is another question which crops up regularly. Often the answer lies in the cross-dresser himself. If he has an easy, uncomplicated and generous nature he will be far less threatening to his partner than if he is introverted, secretive and moody with a self indulgent side which rejects his wife in terms of her importance as an individual.
Total acceptance can be fluid though.
A wife or partner may find the whole experience exhilarating and fun during courtship and the honeymoon period but reject the entire concept when children come along. There can be a dramatic swing from category three to category one by new mothers who crave the 'clean nest' in which to bring up their children. The period of infancy can be a trying and turbulent time for both parents. Mother rejecting the 'wild and hedonistic' past pleasures for a more conservative life while banishing 'her' to the loft for the duration. The confused father, far from accepting this dramatic turnaround in his wife's attention often feels compelled to dress more, sometimes fantasising that he is a mother too but is sidelined by the reality of the situation.