Otherwise the musicians will avoid you during their breaks. The trombone is known for its pleading, voice-like quality. Trombonists like to play fast, because their notes become indistinguishable and thus immune to criticism. Most trombonists played trumpet in their early years, then decided they didn't want to walk around with a strange indentation on their lips. Now they hate trumpet players, who somehow get all the women despite this disfigurement.
Trombonists are usually tall and lean, with forlorn faces.
They don't eat much. They have to be very friendly, because nobody really needs a trombonist. Can also be achieved by ineptitude. Filters out popular cover songs. Stores and plays back your favorite riffs forever.