The first paragraph is a summary of what the release is about. This is a fairly routine lead. Coronado National Memorial in Arizona. Too much for one sentence. Put them into two sentences.
News releases have short paragraphs just like newspapers.
Use this check list. Most of these rules make sense. There is a rule about numbers that you should follow. Spell out the numbers one through nine except for dates, time, ages or money. Wire services do not use courtesy titles with full names.