The child with the neatest room, cleanest hands, unsoiledclothes, gets the gold star. From early on we train our children to functionin the world where being compulsive and perfect pays off. Schools further reinforce these values. Schools make it difficult for a child to make a mistake. Conformity is the goal and in many schools, and controlling the children takes a higher prioritythan learning and discovery.
Perfect children are quiet children.
When the child lives in a world where there is considerable criticism forerrors, mistakes, and omissions the child feels anxious, fearing loss of approvaland love. The child then begins to criticize himself for not performing up to the internalized parental standard. Perfectionism becomes ingrained in the very fabric of a person's personality. Because it is continuously reinforced in our workplace, and in society in general, it is very difficult to relinquish. The payoffs are considerable.