This is not an act of malice. Please forgive and forget. You don't understand why we can't appreciate the virtues of cats. We don't understand why you can't appreciate the humor of flatulence. Let's just agree to disagree.
Men think about sex once every seven seconds.
The time in-between we consider wasted. No, that dress you are wearing does not make you look fat. And if it did make you look fat, we would rather have our nose hairs ripped out one by one with rusty gardening shears than admit it. We know it's the less painful option. Men must mark their territory.