Helping family members live through life's daily and unexpected little crises means being available. This is an issue of quantity, not just quality. Thus, ultimately, the issue of spending more time with the family requires the lawyer to re-evaluate his or her true values. Unfortunately, lawyers live in a professional world in which they experience much cynicism about human nature and consider paranoia to be a necessary survival skill. Being a lawyer, or being married to one, requires constant vigilance to prevent negative events at the office from bleeding into the relationship.
Perfectionists tend to be people who like to be in control and have trouble being spontaneous.
In addition, they tend to be critical and demanding. Not only are these traits harmful to relationships at work, but they are exceedingly unhealthy in the context of a marriage. In fact, another major sign of a troubled home life is a spouse and children who feel that they are constantly being criticized and that nothing they do is good enough. Again, it behooves lawyers to work on leaving their perfectionism at the courtroom steps. They sometimes feel that their spirits have been wounded and that there is no sense in having such discussions in the future.