Real programmers know where to buy junk food at all hours. Bear in mind that some real programmers are health food freaks. Ask discreet questions about diet. Today, this is not necessarily true. Never hire anyone who likes fourth generation languages.
Real programmers play video games.
Fake programmers don't. The best programmers you can hire will be hot stuff at Defender and Marble Madness. Always ask candidates what working hours they prefer. Anyone who specifies daylight hours hasn't written more than 30 lines of code at one time. Real programmers still work around the clock.