Tries to get xtrek freaks fired. Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and waits for connections to time out. Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance, often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form. Stupid user questions.
Recruits user to system administration team.
Process accounting management. Crippled on System V boxes. Balky printer daemons. Calls customer support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get user who submitted the most recent job fired.