And happiness, like other emotions, comes in different strengths - from mild contentment to ecstatic joy. Instead of enjoying whatever strength of happiness they feel, though, some people destroy this feeling by worrying that they ought to be happier. They forget that we cannot physically sustain any strong emotion for any length of time, and that a lasting sense of mild contentment makes life so much easier. Equally, whenever we get angry or frightened, or hate someone, or feel shame or guilt, it is extremely important to ask ourselves whether the strength of the emotion we feel is an appropriate response to what has happened. Getting wildly angry over something you would ordinarily find mildly irritating shows that there is something amiss in your life.
Many people are confused about unhappiness.
Unhappiness, like happiness, is an emotion, and it arises from how we interpret an event. Fearing unhappiness, many people fail to recognise that there are losses that we can never get over completely, even though the pain might lessen with time. These are losses for which there can be no replacement or recompense, and to which unhappiness is an entirely rational response. We can replace a television set or even a flooded house, but we cannot replace someone we love who has died. I have heard a professor of psychiatry declare that the appropriate length of time to mourn one's parents is two years.