Here you seem to be asking for someone to take a psychoanalytic approach to your marriage, as opposed to a behavioral approach. I think you are smart enough to realize that your interchange with K has been a healthly one. I think you also realize that sometimes we have to be challenged or become angry to be able to see things from a different angle. This is all good. Time does not equal wisdom, wisdom is just as much emotional as it is intellectual.
Wisdom comes with experience.
You are doing this, keep going, keep challenging. Thank you for your reply on my other thread. I'll reply in greater length when I have more time. It's probably time for me to cut back my participation at this site again. Work and home has been very, very busy as of late, and I may be paying for too much time spent on these boards.