You cannot coerce someone to love you. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. War is when two nations are attempting to coerce each other. Use of deadly force is destructive, and leads to chaos. Coercion involves pain, and involves the discounting of feeling.
Obligation is forced relationships.
Control breeds the need for more control, which is then used to justify the use of control. Freedom is the opposite of coercion. Paradoxically, we must limit our freedoms in order to gain freedom. For example, we limit our freedom and all agree to drive on one side of the road. We write this rule down in a book, it is called a law.