Research has shown that it is not the divorce which causes the long-term scars on children, but the acrimony surrounding the divorce. Often, well-meaning parents unwittingly use their children as tools of revenge and place their children in the middle of their war. Mediators point out that the parents are going to need to be in the contact with one another for the rest of their children's lives and that they need to learn to communicate and cooperate with one another. Mediation relies on brainstorming and creating alternatives to resolve a particular dispute. There is no need to adhere to a fixed solution which is the only option available in a court-rendered divorce.
Mediation focuses on flexible solutions tailored to meet the specific concerns of both parties.
When parties spend the time and energy to craft their own settlement, it is more likely that they will follow the terms of that agreement. The settlement was not imposed on them. This makes it easier for the parties to go on with their lives.