Some furniture makers make their own customed colors as a trade mark, but generally Minwax can be pretty close if not, on the button. In most cases I sand my wood down to 150 grit, and its pretty much the standard throughout the industry. In some cases I go down to 220, and in one such case is in the illustrated project. Its Red Oak by Minwax and a gorgeous color, but 150 grit makes it seem dirty, and 220 brings everything right out. 220 in a normal project, tends to lighten the true color so bear this in mind as you sand.
Stain adds color to intensify and bring out the beauty of the wood and grains.
To much sanding, the wood will lighten and almost make it harder to notice the grain patterns. Its important to have gloves for doing staining. Eventhough clean up is with mineral spirits or paint thinners, the stain gets under nails, and stays embedded there for quite sometime. I prefer surgical latex gloves, fitted for my hand. They can be obtained at a pharmacy.