Basically, it s someone whose life has been affected by the alcoholism of a parent. My feeling is that if someone feels that alcohol is a problem, then it is a problem. I wouldn t get too caught up with whether or not the parent is actually alcoholic by the definition of the American Medical Association. If people felt a lot of tension focused on drinking, as far as I m concerned they have the feelings common to ACoAs. ACoAs have identical experiences.
Some people grow up with a parent who is a violent, obnoxious drunk.
Others grow up with quiet, closet drinkers. If the alcoholic is now sober, there s probably going to be a lot less tension than if he s still drinking. However, the alcoholic behaviors may still be there, especially if the drinker grew up with an alcoholic parent himself. Those don t go away even with sobriety, so those alcoholics are going to be more problematic to their families than those who can just quit drinking and be fairly healthy. That dual diagnosis can be tougher for the kids genetically and behaviorally.