I got an e-mail the next day telling me how many times I hurt her and that I throw things in her face, etc. Your advice is greatly appreciated, and I hope I didn't run on too much. A therapist I know uses this image to explain how to handle your situation. Now picture your friend holding the dumbbell. Now picture your friend tossing the dumbbell through the air right at you.
Most people try to catch the dumbbell when it is tossed their way.
Only thing wrong with this solution is that the dumbbell is rather heavy and when you catch it, it weighs you down. Your friend's habit of being miserable makes her heavy like a dumbbell. When you two get together, you receive her misery as though she is tossing it to you. You catch it and get weighed down. You don't need to go away from her, or avoid her on the phone or anything like that.