It is not an impulse born of consciousness and compassion. For if compassion were in charge, we would never want our beloved to suffer, even if they d hurt us. We would know that they had already suffered mightily in this life, and that their hurtful behavior was probably some remnant of that suffering. We all need to learn to be more conscious, more sensitive. None of us needs to be punished.
Punishment only begets more punitive behavior.
Ask for change, suggest new behavior, teach by example. Never punish love. Enough grief and suffering to make us stop Wishing anything more on them. As I change, I help society change. Personal relationships are the blueprint for all other aspects of society.