It may be beneficial to invite the other party or family member in for a conjoint session. Healing occurs in reunion relationships. No matter what people find, knowing is better than not knowing. Adoptees feel like the missing pieces of the puzzle have been found. Birthparents can sleep better at night knowing where their son or daughter is.
Reunions are honesty in action.
Search and reunion break down the wall of secrecy that has been pervasive in adoption. As therapists we know how damaging family secrets are to all the family members. Honesty and openness eliminates the need for search and reunion in adoption. Until that honesty is a reality, we as therapists will need to know how to help adoption triad members process their search and reunion issues. I went to support group meetings and met a lot of adoptees and birthparents.