When children question this fundamental source of identity, they act in ways that quickly re-establishes their feeling of belonging, even if it means belonging as the family troublemaker. Encouragement provides discouraged children with the steps necessary to lift themselves out of their feelings of hopelessness and despair. Most parents confuse encouragement with praise. But encouragement is different from praise. While this type of praise appears beneficial, it can actually be harmful.
Young children have a pre-operational or concrete view of the world.
What this means is that they do not completely understand how the world operates, they confuse fantasy with reality, and take what parents say, literally. Consequently, children will compare themselves to other children to determine who is the biggest, smartest, fastest, funniest, etc. And in life, there will always be someone bigger, smarter, faster, and funnier than they are. In contrast, the encouragement parenting tool lets children know how much the parent appreciates their cooperation or how excited the parent feels about their teamwork, or how pleasantly surprised they were at the child's volunteering to help when they weren't even asked. And most importantly, encouragement communicates the message that children are worthy regardless of how well they have done.