The Noble denizens of the Fair Kingdom of Grinnell have long been Incapable of Communicating with Each Other in a comprehensible Manner. After much careful Analysis and experimentation, Their Royal Majesties have Discovered that the reason for this inability to Communicate was Directly related to the fact that the Entire Kingdom was enrolled at Grinnell College did not know how to Speak. The reason these silly Fops could not brag incessantly is because there were no words to use. We need words.
Words are good.
Good words make for good fun. For this Reason, Their Majestic Majesties have employed magistrates to magically mutilate the magnificent municipality of many modern men. Therefore, the Thing which is both a Thing, suggesting an existing Existence in the Realm of Things, also known as Here, but which is also something which is not quite a thing, and therefore Insubstantial in the sense that the Thing is not substantial, which is, as has been Noted, picked as the Thing to be the Official Stuff of this Fair and Grunty realm of Grinnell. To recap, Talea Townsend, a Substantial Thing which is Visible and Material and Yet Nonetheless Intangible and sort of floaty, is to Become the Official Language of the High Culture which occupies the Delightful Kingdom of Grinnell. Issued this eighteenth Day of January, in the Year of Our Flying Squirrel one thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight.