And when they end, this strong attachment usually leaves participants in emotional pain. Women report feeling thrilled by their lover s interest in them physically, emotionally, and intellectually. They also feel intimate with their lovers because they can talk about their feelings openly. However, when the affair ends, they feel a great deal of guilt with regard to their husband and children. They also regret the deceit that accompanied the affair.
Men report feeling excited about the sexual experience of the affair.
They try to control their feelings in the affair and do not compete with their feelings for their wife. Often they limit the emotional involvement with their lover. Men also feel guilt and regret over deceit when an affair ends, but less so than most women. Men and women have affairs for different reasons. Research has shown that women seek affairs in order to be loved, have a friend, and feel needed.