Your effectiveness as a mediator depends on your impartiality. By the same token, avoid reassuring or sympathizing. As well-meaning as your actions may be, they can be interpreted as a vote of confidence for the adversary's position. Because you accept a person's perception of a situation doesn't mean that you personally agree with it. It is not necessary to identify reality to resolve the conflict, but it is crucial for each party to hear how the other views the problem.
People make decisions and act upon their perception of the world.right or wrong.
When you question or evaluate someone's story, you negate his or her perception of the dispute. And when people are judged, they tend to edit out parts of their story that make them look bad, and exaggerate aspects that make them look good. However, if the disputants don't like your decision, they will thwart your attempts to handle the problem, then blame you for failing to resolve the conflict. Even when disagreements are grounded in substantive issues, there is a layer of emotion that can obscure the basic conflict. In the dispute between Collin and Stacey, there was personal antagonism underlying the clash over the computer.