He was raised to be the strong silent male and has worked to overcome that pattern. I was programmed to be the people-pleasing female and used to talk too much, verbalizing before I had crystallized my thoughts. When Charlie expresses his emotions, as he does more easily now, his words are gifts of understanding for our relationship. We can release the old reaction pattern of dancing away by staying present, processing through our impasse. T he greatest challenge in sex talk and in relationships is to stay out of polarity.
Polarity is the feeling of separateness, symbolized by the conflict between the sexes.
That same conflict is a mirror of the inner conflict between our masculine and feminine energies. When we feel polarized, we become fearful and defensive and our ego takes control of our emotions. We create walls that separate us from the one we love the most. Many relationships die because the partners wait too long to communicate their feelings, particularly about their sex life. We can allow ourselves to be vulnerable, particularly in our sex talk.