The same interpersonal dynamics apply to both relationships. Furthermore, in not putting a stop to verbal abuse may enable it to escalate into physical violence. These people come to treatment to relieve feelings of depression, anxiety, inferiority, guilt, self-recrimination, and the like. The abused individual is more or less convinced that personal and marital problems are somehow their fault . Perversely, they are responsible - but not in any way the victimized person can yet fathom.
Victims have to come out of denial and then take their power.
In almost all cases, the abused partner is codependent. See codependence-related articles here . Patricia Evans expertly and comprehensively articulates the phenomenon in her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship , required reading for both partners in my practice. I never cease to be amazed when an abused partner tells me they had difficulty reading the Evan's book. When I run into this phenomenon, I understand I am dealing with an individual who has allowed themselves to become so victimized, they have completely bought into the abuser's world view that the partner is to blame.