As the child gets older, he or she is capable of making more decisions. Effective discipline involves knowing when a child is capable of more independence. A characteristic of a troubled relationship, in addition to the issues of availability and discipline that I mentioned above, is poor communication. It is critical for parents to establish honest, open, and frequent communication early with their children, before adolescence. Once things get off track, it is very hard to reestablish lines of communication.
Some children are temperamentally difficult to communicate with.
These are the children whose parents have difficulty when children are 3 and 4 years of age. There are also cases where communication improves during adolescence. Some parents report having a positive experience of suddenly being able to talk to their adolescent about issues they hadn't been able to discuss earlier. Their adolescent becomes a good conversational partner. Genetics plays a large role.