As we progress in life - our narrative changes. Parts of it are fulfilled and this increases our self-confidence, self worth and self esteem and makes us feel fulfilled, satisfied, makes us feel good and at peace with ourselves. Instead of realistic guidelines, therefore, the Narcissist has a Grandiose Fantasy. The latter cannot be effectively pursued. It is an elusive, ever receding target.
Narcissism is a healthy thing.
It has gradations. But Narcissists have NO or very little personality. That's why they need others, dependent on them for their very self definition. Narcissism is an exaggeration, a malignancy of a healthy phenomenon. Self Love helps us survival.