In Western culture, macho meant don't betray your emotions. In Northern Manhattan, six Reform Jewish men met recently over soda and chips to discuss the meaning of circumcision. I know boys should be encouraged to show their feelings, and I don't want to stop him, but out there in the world, people still don't want to see him cry. In one meeting, a discussion of Cain and Abel turned into an exploration of whether the participants wanted to kill their brothers. Two winters ago, Rabbi Addison led an all-male retreat in the frigid Georgia wilderness at which some 50 Jewish men listened to a beating drum and sat around a campfire recounting their peak spiritual experiences.
Most groups are decidedly less ambitious about breaking new ground.
Eventually, his rabbi, David Booth, conferred with Mr. Neulander about adding Jewish content to his gatherings. Eight to 10 men met on Mondays after work to talk for an hour about Jewish views of sexual ethics and their own sexuality. Then they settled back to watch the game. The following year, Rabbi Booth led another Monday night series on male role models. But we're not running a self-help group.