The old saying, 'Happy the bride the sun shines on' is what we all hope for on the Big Day, but the fact is, the thought of a family wedding can strike a chill in many hearts, says psychotherapist and author, Jill Curtis. Different family tensions may well make themselves felt if not ironed out beforehand. If there is some kind of rift, it s not good enough to cross your fingers and hope it ll be alright on the day, or assume that people will bury their grievances and be on best behaviour unfortunately, particularly after a few drinks, it doesn t work like that.
Successful peacekeeping can only come from facing up to potential problems early on.
It is surprising how many bridal couples will spend hours planning the menu or colour schemes, not noticing the dark clouds gathering over who will pay for what or who will sit where, issues which just aren t being discussed. Life was simpler when it was taken for granted that the father of the bride would give his daughter away and pick up all the bills. There were traditional guidelines. Now the two families tend to split the costs and extended families make the division of financial responsibility even more complicated. There are also more second weddings and many couples, who are independent and high earners and who want to pay for and organise everything themselves.