The ancients gazed up into the incomprehensible depths of the night and contemplated the impenetrable mystery and infinite grandeur of the cosmos. Then they got bored, so they connected the dots into pretty little pictures that they eventually used to classify all the variegated splendor of humanity into twelve basic types. Any Moron can tell you that astrology is a lot of crap. Not just crap, but complicated crap.
Moronic astrology is better.
Moronic signs don't begin on the twentieth or twenty-first, they begin on the first. And they end on the last. Because it doesn't matter what the sign is or where it comes from or how it's assigned. He's slow, plodding, and about as bright as a wet sock. The turtle often withdraws into himself, and God only knows what he does in that shell.