I'm a fairly intelligent man, I thought as my eyes went up and down the listing of shops. Surely I can think of the perfect gift for the most important woman in my life. Buffalo Bob's Outdoor Emporium. The cavemen had it right. There was no return policy in one billion, BC, my friends.
Men are easy to buy for.
Even though they are the basic building blocks of every man's wardrobe, we men never buy socks and underwear because we believe the socks and underwear we currently have will never wear out. We'll wear a pair of drawers until there's nothing left but an elastic waistband and one leg hole. And we'll wear a pair of socks until all that remains is the ring that fits around our ankles. Ask any man and he'll tell you, if it wasn't for Christmas and birthdays, most of us guys would be running around au natural. I get socks and underwear every Christmas, always from my eighty year old aunt who long ago staked the claim to purchasing such items for the men in the family.