We should consciously raise our expectations for care. Comfort should be a given, beyond symptom management we should ensure that our patients, loved ones and neighbors are honored, and even celebrated, in their passing. A utopian notion I have is of people being born into the welcoming arms of community and dying from the reluctant arms of community. While I live and practice in the real world, my hospice experience over the years makes me believe that through professional commitment and skilled volunteerism we can realize that dream. Dying is never fun and it is rarely easy.
Most people experience a time of discomfort and personal struggle in the process of dying.
But the arduous nature of the experience should not obscure its potential value. Many, many people have told me that the last part of their life has been among the most wonderful times of their life. This phenomenon of human experience is largely ignored in public discussions despite its relative frequency. I believe that the phrase is misleading. I do know something about the process and experience of dying, simply because I have asked my patients about their experience, listened carefully, and observed as carefully as possible.