It your child wants to crawl under your shirt and pretend over and over again that she grows in your tummy and that you give birth to her, do as she directs. If you feel the need to comment, you could share your own wish that she grew in your tummy too. For adoptive parents whose relationship to loss is different from their child's, it can be painful to play the role of the lost kitten without trying to push the game toward a happy ending. Watkins and Fisher explain that parents need to listen not only to the ways a child's understanding is similar to their own, but also for the ways in which it is differ-ent. These differences aren't simply efforts to be corrected, but can also be expressions of how adoption is experienced by the individual.
Many parents try too much to control the play or conversation during floor time.
Adults can be uncomfortable with silent moments, filling them in with too many questions. Many parents find the first few weeks of floor time rocky because they can't resist slipping into the control mode. Greenspan says if you have clear and accurate expectations of what your child will do or say next, you are probably being too directive. Your floor time sessions should be full of surmises as your child pursues new directions, fresh solutions to problems, different resolutions to old stories. If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then sit back and listen more.