The University chooses to teach us things such as algebra. We spend a semester racking our brains to solve for x, only to forget the simplest of equations in a year's time. Meanwhile, we aren't taught practical things like how to file taxes or read a standard insurance policy. Since the University decided not to consult me when they updated the liberal arts and science core, students graduating years from now still will not know how to function in the real world. But on the other hand, professors can't teach us about the real world because they simply don't live in it.
Most professors are completely out of touch with reality.
All that time they spend thinking has destroyed their concept of logic. I'm even convinced that some of my English professors are extraterrestrial beings who have come to cause confusion and disarray among naive earthling students, and I'm sure other professors are just as bad. Math professors spend their lives solving essentially meaningless equations while the rest of the world, frankly, doesn't give a damn about mathematics. But I digress. My third piece of exceptional wisdom is that students who have 4.0 GPAs are boring creatures who have had the life sucked out of them by the vampire professors I just described.