Poor mate selection can lead to marital discord, which in turn can lead to a higher risk of psychiatric disorders, such as depression, alcohol or drug abuse and anxiety disorders, says Elbaum, who also is a social work clinical manager at the Edward Hines Jr. Veterans Affairs Hospital. Marital discord occurs when couples engage in negative criticism or in contempt, which occurs when one person attacks the other's self-esteem and the other becomes defensive. In fact, research indicates that 42 percent of patients who seek mental health services have psychiatric problems, such as anxiety, depression and substance abuse related to marital problems. Women, in particular, are at risk for depression if marriage problems surface. In reality, for many people, these problems continue to exist or get worse as the marriage progresses.
Research indicates that half of the U.S. marriages end in seven years.
The first two years are the most critical in a marriage with divorce peaking in the second year. Elbaum notes that research conducted by John Gottman, professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, has shown that extreme personality traits, such as aggressiveness, volatility or antisocial behavior, can negatively impact a relationship. In fact, healthy marriages can serve as buffers against stress because individuals in successful relationships are better able to manage other problems and issues in their lives, says Elbaum.