This will give your partner a chance to change his or her present behavior. The fourth and final rule is to be specific. Be specific about what you are feeling, why you are feeling it, and what your partner can do to help alleviate those feelings, and resolve the conflict. For example, telling your partner he or she is lazy, or unloving is not specific. If you think about it, you will find that you are upset by a specific behavior.
People involved in intimate relationships know a lot about each other.
You know your partners weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and sensitive areas, and an argument is not the place to exploit them. Exploiting your partners weaknesses will only serve to cloud the issues, and it will hinder the resolution of the conflict. Ensure that you listen to what your partner is saying, make sure you are both talking about the same issue, and remember that when you have an argument with someone close to you, there are no winners or losers, only compromise.