He could have helped me see that Satan tries to thwart the kingdom of God by undermining and destroying relationships. He could have explained that conflict is no surprise to God. God expects it, and so should we. In fact, when handled in a godly way, conflict is the unlikely gateway to the committed, satisfying relationships of true Christian community. Light in the darkness This truth is hidden from us because we usually see conflict handled in ungodly ways, according to the principles of the kingdom of darkness.
People explode, accuse, get back and abuse.
They destroy and cripple one another. Ignoring conflict out of shame or fear, like I did, merely allows the sin to develop underground. Usually one or both people start gossiping to gain sympathy. Then their alienation from each other grows, and they start causing division in their group. Grievances may collect and pressure may build until somebody explodes, blowing bits of relationship to the wind.