Becoming numb she further separates from her real self acting instead of being. Since the child is rarely able to have her own feelings, she believes love is found outside herself and with someone else. As the child becomes an adult, the unfulfilled needs drive her to seek substitute gratification through symbolic behaviour in hopes of finding someone to make her feel and let her know who she is. Those who have struggled homosexually have been caught up in this denial of reality. Our unfulfilled needs drive us to unconsciously find that caring, interested, warm same sex parent in all our relationships.
Sex is the most potent emotional expression there is.
We finally have our own feelings. Having to act most of the time while growing up trying to meet our parents' expectations rather than just being has confused our identity. We are searching to find ourselves. We can find our real selves in reality. Reality is in feeling the pain of our neediness, acknowledging that our same sex parent never did nor could meet our needs.