A man may be more open to talking about and dealing with the loss of his child in the context of abortion. That loss has affected him dramatically. However, he may not yet be aware that it is the root-cause of his problems. It may be helpful to talk about the symptoms commonly experienced by other men after an abortion decision. When he realizes that he shares many of those symptoms, he is more apt to look at the cause for his problems in a new light.
Most experienced counselors advocate a gentle but direct approach.
This is no time for subtlety. Tell him it' s OK to grieve for the baby he will never see or hold in his arms. Let him cry for his profound loss. Let him cry as much and as often as he needs to. He needs to grieve the loss and shame.