Narcissists have difficulty activating the real feeling self. Unable to sustain and maintain emotion and intimacy, they project their inadequacies onto others through rage and demands for perfect performance. Due to a lack of parental connectedness from early childhood, the narcissist is left to struggle and seek perfect connectedness with others. Close, intimate relationships are limited and few in number, while certain relationships are antagonistic due to negative parental introjects. Hence, the narcissist feels alone and unaffiliated.
Narcissists ultimately blame their partners for problems in a relationship.
At the beginning, these couples bask in their mutual glow but it does not last. Eventually, disappointment sets in. Narcissists rarely take action for change while continuing to tolerate that about which they complain. The narcissist, as well as the borderline, engages in betrayal behaviors which serve to destabilize and destroy relationships while threatening the critical emotion of trust that is so vital for maintaining healthy relationship bonds. Thus, narcissist and borderline people share a trust killing propensity.