There is no question that this is ideal for children for adults to sit down and make a thoughtful plan and a loving decision about it. It can take years. The couple has to determine if they have the financial resources and if they are united in how they envision raising the kid. Lesbian families, for example, don't always consist of only two women and the child. Some women want the father or some other male to play a consistent role in the child's development, while others do not.
Most sperm banks offer only anonymous donors.
Two California-based banks give the option to the child, at maturity, to contact the donor. Since the nature of the lesbian-parented family is different than what most people are used to, Martin says, it takes a lot of psychological work to bolster self confidence and address the possibility of stigmitization. The thought of people not accepting our family is difficult. It takes a high degree of independence and spirit and experience with support in the gay and heterosexual community to do it. In Martin's experience, most families accept their lesbian children having their own children.