If you're too stupid to break in and create your own account, I don't want you on the system. Root disk fails. Usually is able to repair filesystem from boot monitor. Lets it run over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing. Refuses to fix system until culprit is identified and charged for the equipment.
Rips drive from system, uses sledgehammer to smash same to flinders.
Calls manufacturer, threatens pets. Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets. Poor network response. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.