Autocratic choices are choices are choices that are so narrow the child senses no freedom at all. Young children benefit from having some choices narrowed, but try to give broad and open-ended choices whenever possible. Choices should not represent a punishment as one alternative. Part Two of Dealing with Power Struggles will be in next months issue. Karan Sims is an instructor for the International Network for Children and Families.
Punishment is used for the purposes of controlling and retribution.
Young children do not commit crimes. Their mistakes call for a corrective disciplinary response. A study on the moral development of children found that children who feared punishment tended to have less guilt, were less willing to accept responsibility, were less resistant to temptation and had fewer internal controls than children who were not punished. Children may then conclude that it is OK to misbehave if they can avoid getting caught or if they are willing to accept the consequences. Discipline teaches children a misbehavior is bad because it violates the social order, thus promoting the development of internal controls.