Even the eminent pharmacologist Joe Graedon, of The People s Pharmacy, read part of my column aloud on his and his wife s TV show, as controversial proof that the dinosaurs became extinct when a gigantic sphere of VapoRub struck the Yucatan Peninsula. The general subject here is home remedies, which can be defined as the indiscriminate use of any substance in your bathroom, kitchen or crawl space to either alleviate pain or magnify it.
Many fools are bigger.
One reader, whom I ll identify only as Martie Murray, since that s his name, claimed that a home remedy he heard of was women using Preparation H to relieve puffy eyes. To learn if that works, I got a grant from the National Science Foundation to tape suppositories under my eyes. Well, not the cockpit, really. I forget the military term for butt. THAT 6 o clock.