They sometimes act in ways totally uncharacteristic and this is why they feel they must be going mad. They are no longer themselves. I have also learned that there is no such thing as a time-table for grieving nor is there such a thing as the proper way to grieve. The most that can be said is that there is a general pattern, a broad outline, but within these contours each person finds his or her own way. What is true is that for many the amount of time grief takes to work itself through is far longer than outsiders realize.
People tend to get impatient with the bereaved.
But when there has been a profound loss, patience and understanding are often the most important things to be had. I think there are two ultimate sources of comfort for the bereaved. The first is the recognition that the great mystery is not death but birth, not that someone loved is now gone but that the person was here at all. The great gift is life and loving and being loved in return. In this way love is stronger than death.