The latest was the murder-suicide deaths Wednesday night of Ewa residents Allan and Andrea Dequito. Police said Allan Dequito shot a police officer with a .45-caliber handgun and then fatally shot his wife, before turning the gun on himself at the couple's home on Keonekapu Place in the Ewa by Gentry subdivision. It's the worst possible outcome of a domestic violence situation to have a woman killed and a suicide to follow. She said the most lethal time in an abusive relationship is when the victim is trying to end the relationship.
Many women stay because they are afraid to leave.
The Dequitos, according to family and court records, displayed many of the warning signs of potential domestic violence, including unrealistic expectations, controlling behaviors, past battering and threats of violence. Other signs of abusive relationships include a push for quick involvement, jealousy, isolation, blaming others for problems and mistakes, making everyone else responsible for feelings, hypersensitivity, cruelty to animals and children, playful use of force during sex, verbal abuse, rigid sex roles and sudden mood swings. People who have controlling behaviors. If a woman is facing a crisis, she should call 911. The Joint Military Family Abuse Shelter's hot line is 533-7125.