On learning that their child may have a disability, most parents react in ways that have been shared by all parents before them who have also been faced with this disappointment and with this enormous challenge. Denial rapidly merges with anger, which may be directed toward the medical personnel who were involved in providing the information about the child's problem. Anger can also color communication between husband and wife or with grandparents or significant others in the family. Early on, it seems that the anger is so intense that it touches almost anyone, because it is triggered by the feelings of grief and inexplicable loss that one does not know how to explain or deal with. Fear is another immediate response.
People often fear the unknown more than they fear the known.
Having the complete diagnosis and some knowledge of the child's future prospects can be easier than uncertainty. Other unknowns also inspire fear. Parents fear that the child's condition will be the very worst it possibly could be. Over the years, I have spoken with so many parents who said that their first thoughts were totally bleak. One expects the worst.