In the story of Mokuren, he saw his mother suffering and wanted to help her. The Buddha's instructions to Mokuren were to care for his fellow monks and community, and in so doing was able to free his mother and himself. Mokuren was not a beginner. He was recognized as a leading disciple of the Buddha, yet when his mother died, his life was thrown into turmoil. Mountains are no longer mountains, rivers are no longer rivers and trees are no longer trees.
Mountains are mountains, rivers are rivers and trees are trees.
The difference of course is the middle. But it is a most important difference. As we become aware of our true self, not the one we have cultivated and come to admire, but the self that is fundamentally blind and ignorant, without pretense, the self that is true and real, our everyday mind may be turned upside down with disorder, confusion and chaos in its wake. If we are able to embrace this disorderly self, we might emerge with a deeper appreciation and understanding of who we are as human beings. The difficulties we experience is not a matter of choice.