Okay look, here's the thing. Husbands don't have beards.
Men have beards.
The real estate of a man's face is sovereign territory, and any attempt to go there without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is tantamount to trespassing. Okay, granted, she's standing over me with a sharp implement and asking a pointed question, but I could still take her. Her elbow is right in my bite-line and her shins are vulnerable. Trim a man's beard. Okay, granted, it's a little wiry.