Unfortunately, you also sound like you are under the Law. It can happen to anyone. I've been rescued from the works bag lots of times. We all have a tendency to forget that the flesh loves to be religious. I know you don't believe you are being a legalist in regard to the baby issue because you say salvation is up to God.
Mind set is an interesting idea.
It may seem that when we are attempting to resist a favorite sin that we are doing good. Resting in Christ is hard to do. It gets harder as one ages. Now reconsider, while at rest, the eternal life of infants. Ted, I am afraid you have misunderstood me.