I was forced to become responsible. In many ways it forced me to accomplish things in my life I might not have otherwise done. But I have spent my life trying to run away from this problem. Feeling guilty and helpless, the unending sorrow for not being able to help. I have not felt entitled to be happy most of my adult life.
Mental illness has a pervasive impact on offspring during their early years.
I had many difficult times and often have a great deal of anxiety. As the illness consumes their family's energy, young family members may feel that their own needs have been neglected or that they have grown up too quickly. Their family relationships are also affected, and offspring may assume a parentified role that places heavy responsibilities on their immature shoulders. In addition, there may adverse effects on their academic life and peer relationships. I had trouble concentrating in school, was afraid Dad would appear at the school grounds when he was sick.