I become free and powerful when I realize that my anger is a desire to take from people their right to choose. It's a hideously selfish thing to do and awful to see, but when I do see it, I can then choose to change. I can't change what I can't see. My lies about other people being responsible for my anger guarantee me staying angry and unhappy. Without that understanding, I am a prisoner to other people and to my anger forever.
Men are greatly inconvenienced, and even die, because of the choices of other men.
That's painful, but unavoidable. Eliminating mistakes would mean the end of learning and joy. I've learned much at the expense of others, and they have the right to learn at my expense. The price of me getting to make my own choices is that others get to make theirs, too. When I remember that, my anger disappears.