Nuts, Bolts and Sex I am sure many read and appreciated Rose Pike's article about Pepper Schwartz Sex, Truths and Videotape . Alarms sounded, however, when I read of her studies on relationships. The first alarm rang with her apparent singular praise of the egalitarian relationship. Let me illustrate a marriage as the union of a nut and a bolt. There is quality of importance but not equality of strengths and weaknesses.
Marriage is a oneness that can only be achieved when complementary parts are joined.
On the other hand, two bolts have the same design. Bolts are important, but two bolts cannot fasten anything together because they are alike, not complementary. Egalitarian relationships in same-sex couples are more easily achieved because of the similarity of the two parts that make up the couple. To hastily throw away traditional roles, and use the egalitarian relationship as the ideal, can frustrate the marriage relationship as much as using traditional roles as an excuse for abuse. The second alarm sounded when the concern was raised about a boyfriend's love-making style.