This is not simply a vicious cycle, or a question of the chicken or the egg. It is organized machinery. It is the underpinning of patriarchy, of male supremacy. Women don't want to name the gender of violence because we see men's humanity first and foremost. We want to see their humanity first and foremost.
Men are our loved ones.
They are part of our families and communities. They are diverse, we can see. Not all of them are violent, and the ones who direcly act with violence are often not violent at all. We don't want to make men violent, or even more violent, especially not against us, by identifying their organized violence,the maleness of their organized violence, and hold them accountable, insist that they dismantle the man-made, male supremacist machine. But herein lies women's violence.