Suriname's tropical ease and slow pace called for one set of responses, and the chilly formality and urban vibrancy of the Netherlands call for another. You have to change. Here, you don't have time for friends and they don't have time for you. After 6 o'clock, you cannot visit people in Holland. Everyone is inside.
People live inside.
I recall her mother asking me if I wouldn't have problems because of dating her daughter. The pillars have largely broken down, but much of their spirit remains, according to Muus and others. Native-born Dutch understand almost instinctively how the remnants of the system come into play in a given situation. Immigrants, even the Surinamese, do not. But if they want to feel at home, they have to try to learn.