Both of these techniques have been very effective. So basically I would like to see some realism and common sense introduced into sex education. Learn to communicate what you like and what you need in order to feel safe and open and loving, and practice being able to hear that from other people. For women there's a tremendous temptation to pretend you're having a better time than you're having, because women warm up so slow and men warm up so fast. There is a tendency for men to get impatient with the half-hour or hour it takes to really warm a woman up, because men can practically be hot from one breath to the next.
Men are kind of overwhelmed by how quickly they get turned on, and so just want to do it right away.
It's the difference between fast food and fine dining. For most women the only true sexual fast food is a vibrator. Having sex with a partner and trying have a quickie and getting much sexual satisfaction really isn't possible for most women. Women just aren't built for quickies. It's helpful to think of sex just as the way that adults play.