Anger is a momentum which gives energy for change. Use it to get off dead center and invest it in making a difference. Go to Divorce Recovery classes or anger management counseling. You only get one chance in the raising of your child. The childhood years cannot be taken back and redone.
Professional help is available.
There are agencies that have a sliding scale for counseling to fit your circumstances. Even if it costs some money, get help. Money is not the object here. Your child's success in life is the important thing. You are worth it.