Most people are much too hard on themselves. They have bought into our cultural madness of competition and success. They feel that they are only as good as what they do and how much money they make from it. If their parents were conditional with their love, critical and controlling, the problem is even worse. Behavioral perfection is then substituted for spontaneity and conformity replaces individuality.
Most people are sensitive to minor slights or hurts.
They feel that they would never be so insensitive and are very critical of others who are insensitive. Sometimes they are upset because the others are getting away with things they couldn't do for either personal or societal reasons. We also dislike people that have qualities we have had to repress. For example, if we have had to repress our anger, we may dislike angry people. We fear that we may be angry like them.