As their children marry, parents need to respect the primacy of their son's or daughter's allegiance with their spouse and new family as the center of their emotional lives. Family gatherings, holidays and visits are planned with respect for the children's agenda and needs. They take pleasure in their children's successes - even if those successes take their children out of the parental orbit. They engage in a respectful negotiation process to work out differences. The task of letting go is easier when parents fill their own lives with purpose and social support without demanding or needing their adult children to play a role in their happiness.
Parents continue to nourish their own friendships.
As parents, they are self-sufficient. They don't depend on adult children to solve their life problems for them. The relationship between families is voluntary based on mutual love and respect. As they can, they share their lives and get together to celebrate holidays and special occasions. Through letters, e-mail or phone calls, they keep one another informed on developments in their lives.