The decline of the family dinner suggests the growing disconnectedness of parents and children, author William Doherty says. According to Dr. Doherty, an Intentional Family is one whose members create a working plan to stay connected. The plan is centred on rituals such as family meals, holiday celebrations and special occasions such as weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. In the face of the obstacles and distractions of modern life, Intentional Families find a way to use meals to feed their souls along with their bodies. Parents have lost too much confidence in themselves to insist that the importance of rituals may outweigh this right to choice, he says.
Parents see themselves as service providers to children.
For instance, the microwave oven allows everyone to prepare their own separate meals. Some people lose a focus on what do we need to do as a family to maintain our ties with each other. I think it's a real problem. Increasingly, with our very busy families, dinner is likely to be the only opportunity for everyone to be together having a conversation. The importance of family rituals has grown as religion and community have faded, author John Gillis says.