Answers them when he gets a chance, often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form. Screams at users until they go away. French until user gives up and goes away. Locks user's account until user can present documentation demonstrating their qualification to use the machine. Answers all questions to best of his knowledge.
Recruits user to system administration team.
Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting. Crippled on System V boxes. Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS processes run quickly. Balky printer daemons. Puts printer use policy in motd.