Good questions allow people to communicate with mutual understanding.
Poor questions are offensive, create a defensive attitude, and shut down understanding.
First, consider your intent. Your intent, which shows in your eyes, voice inflection, and body posture, will probably reach the person before your words do. Second, look at the type of question you are asking because it will give you clues as to your intent. This question amuses me now, but it didn't when I had children spilling milk. Another type of problem question is the question that contains the answer.