On a deep level, this creates a split, a chronic chasm between self and others. Our armor becomes forged around the theme of not letting others penetrate into our inner being. Our survival feels dependent upon disguising our true needs, our true self. A chronic sense of loneliness and alienation begins to permeate our relationships. Our relationships become a cycle of power and control in which we are either bound to submission or to dominance.
Residents learn how to break the chains of submission and dominance.
They experience how external relationships can provide a rich medium for self-discovery and personal enrichment. Residents learn how to create relationships based on intimacy and freedom of choice. The central task of each child is to prepare oneself to survive when the external environment is at its worst, the most withholding, capricious, and punitive. Consequently, our basic attachments are naturally, in part, trauma based. These attachments become the core of our inner support.