Very often this neglect is the result of anger, even rage. Poor communication becomes a vehicle for paying back parents for actual or perceived failure on the part of one or both their parents when they were kids. In all candor, some parents have probably earned that kind of treatment from their children. However, these attitudes usually won t stand up to close scrutiny when weighed on fair scales. I ve counseled with children who were inundated with Christmas presents - presents which often indebted their parents until the next Christmas.
Presents often take the place of personal expressions of love and affection.
It takes a lot more creative energy and effort to express, I love you throughout the year. A small gift, shared unexpectedly, for no apparent reason, can often speak volumes to a child, parent, friend, or spouse. A single red rose, for instance, can convey a powerful message when shared with someone for no particular reason . Offering thanksgiving to the Lord for His bountiful provision one day a year seems woefully inadequate. I ve observed the annual outpouring of concern for the hungry, underclothed, destitute people of a community at Thanksgiving and Christmas.