Forgiveness is hard to give because it hurts to extend it to undeserving and hard-hearted ones. To release a wrong-doer instead of exacting a just penalty requires that we reach out in love, rejecting the temptation to hold bitterness and resentment. We can forget the anger and hurt we felt, but the act is branded in our minds. Anger must be dealt with openly and honestly, not denied or ignored. Either it must be vented in retaliation or the injured party must accept his own anger, bear the burden of it, and confess it in prayer to release himself and to set the other party free.
Revenge always hurts the revenger far more than the one at whom it is leveled.
In other words , our pattern must be the grievous and substitutionary death of Christ. One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit's work in a life is the quality of meekness. It is a quality which is nurtured and abetted by practicing forgiveness. This highly prized quality will cause us to be able to accept God's dealings with us as good, without disputing or resisting them. Because unforgiveness, and the resentment and bitterness it generates is so deadly, it is not optional, but necessary that it be dealt with.