Similarly, if existing family members refuse to offer assistance to or accommodate the differences of the in-law entering the relationship, or if they try to remake the person in their own image, again, assimilation is blocked. When children come into the world they have no opinions, prejudices, tastes, habits or personalities. The newborn is gradually socialized, or molded, in conformance with the family's world view and style. Introducing the new person into the system can upset the family's equilibrium, at least for a while. Whatever hinders the process is probably worth avoiding.
People learn to make compromises in their family of origin.
Possibilities for growth and positive change are limited when differing styles or role expectations are not accommodated. Complementarity refers to the roles of family members as they correspond to each other. Difficulties arise when these roles become so rigid, so narrowly defined, or so stereotyped that they no longer complement. When a family takes on a new member, whether through marriage or birth, it is important to hold onto the sense of balance that existed in the family before. Doing this means expectations and behavior may have to change.