I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. It begins when you sink into his arms and ends with your arms in the sink. Man is incomplete until he is married.
Marriage is much like communism, it works best in theory.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends. Needing a man is like needing a parachute.