Once in a while I'll write a column composed of bogus news stories.
Problem is, satire is becoming an increasingly redundant sport when it comes to headlines.
There will be no sharing of police files or extradition of individual sought by the court. Now that's funny, at least it is if you take your humour black. Smashing through a window, he tosses a concussion grenade into a quorum of black robes, sending powdered wigs flying. Julia Roberts, playing a wrongly accused Navy Seal, falls into his arms. Panning along a stenographer's body, the camera lingers on a bloodied newspaper bearing a photo of a frowning Helms.