And, neither is seriously considering divorce. Yet, they feel trapped, disillusioned, resentful, and sometimes hopeless. They show the characteristics of a marriage in jeopardy. While Dave and Nancy's problems may be caused by different stresses, they are characteristic of couples in their 40s and 50s. Women, particularly if they have stayed home to raise children, view the middle years as their last opportunity, and want to pursue the dream of achievement.
Men often become painfully aware of their own mortality and start to examine their lives.
The result is often a marriage role reversal. The husband, tired of work, comes home for solace only to find his wife eager for professional success. Now when I finally do come home, you're not there. Both feel they've poured more into the marriage than they've gotten back and that their most important needs aren't being met. While a marital power shift is typical of working couples in mid-life and of couples after retirement, other hazards can afflict all age groups.