Children may not be allowed to sell lemonade, pray, be rescued, take their baby teeth home, or play the guitar next to a lake, but government regulators are working to insure that they'll be able to eat all the clean dirt they can handle. Unfortunately, these kids will find out soon enough that the rules don't get any less bizarre when they get older. Under a new no-ogling policy in Minneapolis, it's a firing offense for a city construction worker to stare too long at a passing female. A city agency in Los Angeles closed the Odd Ball Cabaret, a strip joint, under the Americans with Disabilities Act because a shower stall on stage wasn't accessible to strippers in wheelchairs. After the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission declared obesity to be a protected job disability, a 410-pound applicant for the job of subway train conductor dragged the New York City Transit Authority into court.
Nothing is too small to become a federal case.
Under OSHA rules, the smoking and gum chewing by America's roofers are matters of national labor policy, while a Florida business was cited for failing to place a warning label on a bottle of Joy dishwashing liquid. For a shoeshine stand in the courthouse lobby, Bergen County in New Jersey issued a full 18 pages of regulations. The smock, only burgundy or dark brown, must be knee length and wrap around, with pockets. Someone has too much time on his hands. It was mice and the federal government in California who thwarted John Thorpe's plans to develop the upland portion of his property.