Unfortunately, all too often the very qualities that once appeared so appealing, over time become traits that you or your partner believes needs changing. Sometimes the dynamics can be reverse. Think about it. As an example, if you are someone who requires an orderly home and therefore spent all your time cleaning and you married a partner just like yourself, both of you would spend your lives doing nothing but sweeping the floor or dusting the furniture or paying bills. The honeymoon is over, there are children to take care of, jobs to go to, food and clothing to be bought, communication goes, love gets buried, sex is all but forgotten and loneliness, discord or icy anger has replaced the passion and love you once shared.
Marriage is hard work, daily hard work.
Few individuals grow up knowing how to communicate and work at what may be the most complex task of their lives. So, to get back to my initial point. If your marriage isn't going well, get good professional help and learn why and how to change it. Learn about the myths, illusions, and shoulds you each bring with you from your own family history. If after learning, changing and working at the relationship, you still can't make your marriage work, then it is time to consider whether or not you simply made a mistake.