HBO did a segment on my masturbation workshop, ran Annie Sprinkle's performance where she actually used a vibrator on-stage, and also ran a piece on peep show masturbation with Carol Queen. Even Hollywood's gotten into the act with a great masturbation scene from Shirley MacLain in the movie Being There . After her daughter told her she was giving up on men, Cyril told her she'd better go buy Sex for One by Betty Dodson. The controversial firing of Dr. Jocelyn Elders in 1995 got the word masturbation on every TV network and in every newspaper. The old political ploy of bait and switch.
Most women desire a combination of both for their orgasms.
Some women want oral sex only. There are women who come with electric massagers, some who are into anal eroticism, and other women who want it all. More couples both gay and straight include the sharing of masturbation in their sexual repertoire. According to the mail I get from heterosexual men, most are relieved when their partners learn how to masturbate and become more responsible for their own orgasms. A few men resent vibrators, and the women living with them have to hide their pleasure appliances, but one woman's husband routinely checks to see if her electric massager is warm when he comes home because if it is, that means she'll be interested in having sex with him later.