In this process, meeting couples who have been together for a long time, for twenty five years, is so powerful for me. As a teenager, growing up in New Hampshire, I wouldn t have thought there were gay couples in long-term relationships, and it s such a thrill to find out that there are. I think it would be a lot easier for people to come out, to live happy and productive lives if they were welcome. For me personally, it s not so much about finances. To me, it s about a basic equality, a basic right, and people knowing that we re married.
People can recognize what is, and can no longer turn away from it.
In terms of bottom line things that concern me, it has to do with being seen as a couple by the culture. If Peter were sick and I needed to be with him in the hospital, I wouldn t have to show legal papers and go through all of this stuff that some couples have had to go through, or be denied access to each other. I think it s more that the coupling is different in the queer world. My sense is that it s not stuck in a patriarchal mode, that it s very much a choice, and that division and equality and flexibility is there. We can define our roles within that institution much more equally.