This is a lie and therefore hurtful to both them and yourself. Claim your sovereignty, that you alone are the creator of your reality, your perception thereof, and your states of feeling thereabout. Give up blame and punishment of others because they are in their sovereignty rather than being for you what you want or need them to be. We have no right to define for another what is real, valid, important, meaningful or true. The only thing which is actually real for yourself is that we exist only in this moment, and contained within this moment are all possibilities, from which we choose which to make real and manifest, no matter how much we deny that choice and power.
Many people operate with very warped definitions of love.
Our first responsibility to the the health of yourself and the health of our relationships with others is to be harmless. You cannot live in a friendly loving world if you go around hurting others. We hurt another whenever we lie to them, covertly manipulate them, or overtly control them. Honesty is the only non-hurtful policy. We must accept others exactly the way they are, without judgment, giving them the right of sovereignty over their own lives, the absolute right of free-will choice over their own lives.