That these two portly interventions occurred within a few days of each other was no coincidence. They were cries for help from the disenfranchised. Nowadays you can pay to have your child act as team mascot for the day but for some reason you cannot buy the same excitement for yourself. No wonder Karl Power took matters into his own hands in the Olympic stadium. In the past decade football has gone out of its way to alienate the paunchy, middle-aged fan.
Modern players are so lean and fit their skin looks like shrink-wrap.
With the honourable exceptions of such as Dean Windass and Andy Morrison, there is simply no one for the larger spectator to identify with anymore. Once upon a time men like Bobby Murdoch, Dave Mackay and Frannie Lee, all three of whom looked infinitely more likely to down a six-pack than to own one, bestrode the pitch. Stars like Mick Quinn looked as if they had stepped straight out of the pub and on to the field. They were heroes because they allowed all of us to dream. If only I had had a bit more skill, you thought, I could have been him.