The result is that either the nanny leaves and the employer is back at square one, or the nanny stays and the employer is not entirely happy with her performance. A little more communication and thought could help to prevent this. There is much at stake for both of you if you get it wrong but it is sometimes hard to remember tact and compassion when emotions are running high. If it is that you are dying to get something off your chest, fancy giving her a piece of your mind, or just feel that a telling off once in a while re-establishes your authority, then you are best biting your tongue. On the other hand, concern for your child s welfare, a genuine desire to help your nanny improve in her job or a chance to put right a misunderstanding are all laudable reasons for giving feedback or broaching a problem.
Most nannies tend to view all feedback as criticism.
Sadly it may have meant just that for them until now. It has to be different with you. If she seems to act defensively the minute you open your mouth, go carefully. Don t duck out of dealing with a problem, but do take it gently. It is best not to stack up a whole list of problems and divulge them in one hit.