F or all of you who write me in a panic about an abusive spouse, problems with your ex's new husband or wife or a problem with your kids or step kids, think about the difference between feeling awful and a genuine crisis. When life is tough, don't hesitate to get help. But, remember, you owe it to your self to take time to get the right help for you.
Real crises are few and far between.
Incidents involving life or death such as serious illness, an accident or a suicide attempt are crises that must be dealt with in the moment. An out of control alcoholic spouse, a physically abusive parent, your child swallowing poison, the aftermath of rape, these are all crises that require immediate attention. You must take action, now. Almost all other situations such as a divorce or your child becoming a behavior problem just make you feel bad as if you must do something this second. You want to do almost anything to stop the pain and make it go away.