The few times that they are, upon experiencing the tyranny of such an environment, they leave. They didn t need conflict management. They needed conflict resolution. Churches that are alive with the Spirit, filled with love, and focused on carrying out the Great Commission always attract people. People are attracted to loving, caring congregations who live in the present instead of the past.
People avoid lifeless congregations oriented to the past.
A counselor's job is to lead people to change their behaviors. If they are not willing to risk changing something, then the results will never be different. The same thing is true in the church. A lot of people want different results in our church. Almost everybody I talk to wants this church to grow and be filled with young, enthusiastic families.