Never string the reader on with pages of meaningless technobabble. For a book, you can make the language less obvious. If you like, you can include a glossary at the end. If you can't invent any language, check out hacker jargon files. Don't be afraid to experiment.
Nobody remembers a copycat.
Pacing Pacing is tricky to master. When you write the story, you can't have a story that doesn't let up on the fighting. There are supposed to be little breaks in the action where the reader can catch his breath. My big mistake when I started writing was forcing the reader to jump into my brain. I had nothing but action, no breaks, not even room for imagery.