But unless marriage as a positive good to be sought is drilled into boys heads at an early age, their tendency will be to follow the line of least resistance and simply prolong a decision about marriage. In my fourteen years of ministering to twenty-somethings I have seen a marked increase of fear among men with respect to relating to women. Men need help in moving towards women in learning how to initiate and to take bold risks, squarely facing the fear of rejection. Older Christian men can encourage younger men here. The overwhelming popularity of Promise Keepers shows the growing need men have for role models and reinforcement in their masculinity.
Most godly women appreciate being pursued by a Christian gentleman.
Third, both single men and single women should be encouraged not to look at dating as an individualistic exercise. The entire process from finding compatible people to date, to dating, to preparing for marriage should be more of a community affair. The fact is that arranged marriages were the norm until only recently. It s easy to make fun of matchmaking but this can be done sensitively and in a way that still leaves the final decision up to the couple. The current crisis in dating ought to shake all of us up so that we rethink the process of how singles move into marriage today.