A lover becomes selfish and unaffectionalte because he or she no longer cares for you. A son or daughter is hostile and unmanageable because they've gotten involved with a group of wild kids. A mother or father is irritable and complaining because you have neglected them. It's defining characteristic is loss of self-esteem. Demoralization is underlaid with feelings of resentment toward the person with the illness who, despite your best efforts to help him or her, acts a though everything is your fault.
Resentment grows and often becomes anger.
By now you have placed the blame squarely on the depressive, not on his or her illness. When They're Depressed offers advice on both recognizing depression fallout and on how you can cope with it. The information provided on this site is based on Anne's personal experience and interviews with those with first hand experience with depression fallout including leading professionals in the field. Please refer to the book for a complete bibliography. Anne is not a doctor and the advice on this site is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice.