Describe your feelings Edit accusations that might make people feel put down. By becoming accountable for our own emotions, by owning our feelings, our communication becomes less threatening to other people. Rather than saying, You can't let your brother keep dominating you the way he is. Avoid general patterns and accusations. Even if a problem occurs repeatedly, describe a specific example.
Most people are willing to concede that on one occasion they made a mistake.
Pinpointing details means accurately describing observable behaviors without evaluating or interpreting them. Rather than saying, Your Neanderthal brother is totally ruining the morale of everyone on the staff. Two of our best people are filing harassment charges. Acknowledge your part in the problem Remember that every issue has two sides. When we describe how we contributed, even unintentionally, to the problem, this allows people to gain some distance from their mistakes.