Anger and fighting is our second line of defense. If we can't win the battle, we usually get depressed. In each defense, the person wraps the self in a hard exterior to protect a wounded heart. Depression is our third line of defense. Lots of events.
Prayer is another.
It usually isn't easy to empathize with a person who has hurt us, a person we might be afraid will hurt us again, a person we might be angry at, a person whom we see as the cause of our depression. But empathy is truly a key to forgiveness. We have shown this in rigorous research on forgiveness, but I have also experienced it in my own life in dealing with the murder of my mother. However, forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. A woman or child who has been repeatedly abused might forgive from the heart and yet might not choose to reconcile with the abuser.