Be that as it may, when someone tells me about their problem, the first thing I want to do is change the actual situation. I immediately identify with the person having the problem, and I feel constricted and confronted with it - pained, to some degree. I want to avoid feeling limited and powerless, I think. Men aren't supposed to be as in touch with their feelings as women are, so striving to change their feelings without changing the situation isn't generally a man's first choice. What works for men is quite often different from what works for women.
Men get more points for actively overcoming obstacles, for rising above pain.
Men aren't as comfortable with their feelings because the whole culture isn't as comfortable with men's feelings. It's a learned thing. The absurd part is that it has been so easy to get men to act as though we are more independent because little boys, just like little girls, are so incredibly dependent, and will do whatever looks necessary to get through with as little pain as possible. Maybe women have historically had less power over their lives and have found other ways of dealing with it. Maybe women are more nurturing and interdependent, or at least see themselves, and are seen that way, so that it's more possible for them to gain satisfaction from helping someone cope with a problem, instead of actively changing the situation.