The last few vacations you've had have been around Taiwan on company outings. You've used up more than one phone card on local calls. Locals are surprised to find out you can't vote in the upcoming election. Your pets are bilingual. Pizza just doesn't taste right unless there's corn on it.
Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles.
You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds. Your job title has more than three words. You think the service in the resturants isn't THAT bad. You serve Shaoshing wine at home. You start cutting off the gravel trucks.