We sometimes remind ourselves not to hang on to negative experiences. Adults may hang on to something said to them 10 years ago. Offensive words can only echo in one's ears if a person listens. She told me how badly she was hurt from untruths in the letter. She also said she got the letter out and read it every once in a while.
People have the choice to listen to positive or negative reinforcement.
What someone says is his or her responsibility. What we decide to remember is ours. Others can hurt us only if we let them. Offensive words or hurts are like arrows. Pull the arrow out of your back or side or heart, break the arrow over your knee and throw its pieces in the garbage.