He can't hurt you because you expect nothing else. Besides, he is a fool about the real nature of what has happened, a pawn, a hick who has just been gulled out of his zipper and conned out of his spunk. Historically, rough sex was part of a cultural matrix that created the possibility of masculinity for gay men. The stereotype of masculine behavior, especially in the sexual realm, is that of aggression, selfishness, and brutality. But here's what takes this paradigm beyond the aping of the polarized male-female dyad.
Rough sex is an affirmation of butch identity for both male partners.
You have to be tough enough to dish it out and tough enough to take it. Thus we have the Tom of Finland icons whose huge nipples and bubble butts denote them as queers and bottoms but nonetheless manly men. Eventually even orifices, which would seem to be inextricably linked to girliness, could aspire to butch status. This hardihood was manifested by an ability to tolerate extreme penetration. It's not surprising that these harsh and convoluted coping mechanisms have been transformed by activism into something more humane and direct.