Real Developers' programs never work right the first time. Real Developers never work 9 to 5. Real Developers don't play tennis, or any other sport which requires a change of clothes. Mountain Climbing is acceptable. Real Developers wear climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
Real Developers disdain structured programming.
Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were permanently toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk. Real Developers don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course they are the chief programmer. Real Developers never write memos on paper.