Exchange rate makes Canadian runs worth more. They don't bother to use actual Canadians. Those damn mountie umpires. Team's idea of a double play - bourbon with a beer chaser. Home games played in parking lot of local bowling alley.
Players refuse to slide for fear of ruining their manicure.
Manager in excellent shape from walking out to the mound after every pitch. Team uniforms made from duct tape and bedspreads. When team takes the field, more than a few are carrying folding chairs. On pop fouls, catcher takes off his mask, jersey, socks, and pants. Instead of tobacco, players chew asbestos.