If you can, it may be helpful to tell them this at a time when you are not feeling quite so angry, or if you find that difficult, perhaps you could show them this section of the booklet. If you are finding it difficult to talk to your family it may help to discuss the situation with a trained counsellor or psychotherapist. Sometimes people blame themselves or other people for their illness, trying to find reasons for why it should have happened to them. This may be because we often feel better if we know why something has happened, but since doctors rarely know what has caused an individual's cancer, there's no reason for you to blame yourself. Similar feelings of resentment may crop up from time to time during the course of your illness and treatment for a variety of reasons.
Relatives too can sometimes resent the changes that the patient's illness makes to their lives.
It is usually helpful to bring these feelings out in the open so that they can be aired and discussed. Bottling up resentment can make everyone feel angry and guilty. This can be hard for your family and friends who want to share this difficult time with you. It will make it easier for them to cope, however, if you reassure them that, although you may not feel like discussing your illness at the moment, you will talk to them about it when you are ready. Sometimes depression can stop you wanting to talk.