Improve it to where there is somehow a connection between the paragraphs. The style is a little disorganized. It's a little too casual for me. It states your claim clearly. The underlined part of the sentence sounds funny to me.
Paragraphs are effective.
Just organize it better. Some might be too skimpy. Spelling, Punctuation, Mechanics, Documentation, Format 1. You should two spaces after a period. Your citations are appropriate.