Pardon me, Reb Yid, but you look familiar. I used to study at the local monastery here. I wanted to become a priest. But you changed my mind and I became a Jew instead. I really must thank you.
Nothing can be farther from the truth.
I have never influenced anyone to become Jewish. You spoke about the laws of the Jews and how they even have laws to govern them in the toilet, which hand to wipe their bottoms. Well, it is simple enough. I entered the monastery because I wanted to become close to G-d. I saw that the influence of G-d on one's live was sorely limited.