Between seven and nine months, infants seem to identify more strongly with some adults in their world. The adults with whom they have caring, supportive relationships are a source of comfort and security and they measure their new experiences against these relationships. Families can prepare for the change a new baby will bring to the household by discussing what changes are likely, how they will feel about these changes, and how they will support one another as they adapt to having a new baby. An excellent book on this is When Couples Become Parents by Cowan and Cowan, Basic Books, 1992. The physical closeness of breastfeeding helps mothers bond with their infants and get to know them.
Relaxed parents are more able to be involved with their babies.
Families can develop strategies to support one another and take the time needed to get to know the baby. Talk about the father's role and how he can become involved with the baby. Community initiatives that help parents to understand the needs of their babies and to feel comfortable and confident caring for their babies help them to establish warm and responsive relationships. While some parents actively seek information and opportunities to learn about parenting new infants, seeking help beyond immediate friends and family is not the norm in our society. The process of reaching out to new parents is important.