The truth is in there. In the beans. And I'm going to find it. It's just a can of beans. I'll spare you the gruesome details, but I've been collecting reports on this phenomeon dating back to the Potato Famine.
People everywhere canned beans are extant have reported it.
All kinds of people, Scully, from bachelors sick of TV dinners to housewives to college students. I think I found it. You KNOW something. This is the city. It's sleeping now, but sometimes it wakes into violence, flatulence, and need.