But no one ever tells you that you're doing a good job, so you have to find your rewards in seeing the kids grow up and in knowing that you're the one who's there providing the bulk of their nurturing. Other women see work as an integral part of their identity. My husband and I had talks about this before we even got married. We both have ambition and love our jobs as teachers. Plus, I feel that what I do is important, that I make a difference in the lives of five hundred kids every day.
Research shows that relationship roles can change profoundly when one spouse stops working.
Some women feel less willing to speak up. Many women don't feel as entitled to voice an opinion or make family decisions when they're not contributing financially. She suspects that this is why she and other researchers have found that dual-earner couples who value each other's careers have happier marriages. But there are two important exceptions to this rule. The first is when a working woman winds up doing a second shift at home without much help from her partner.