We disagree on everything. The mutual friends start moving towards one pole or the other, the pets are clingy, the furniture starts disappearing into storage at night when we both think the other isn't looking. The relationship eventually fails. We drift apart. It's very sad really, but you can't let it get you down.
People grow apart.
You move on, you grow, you meet new challenges and new people, you lose 30 pounds and buy suits in colours you never would have dreamed of wearing back when you were still together. You meet new men, exciting men with stationary hairlines, cars with less than eight seats, and actual wine racks in their actual stylish apartments. You begin to wonder why you ever used Geocities in the first place. You begin to regret only the time you wasted. Without you I am nothing.