One thing I have learned is that we can't make anyone other than ourselves do the work of healing and growing and changing. It is a hard thing to accept and women have spent zillions of hours and years of time tyring to get gusy to see the light and face the truth and grow into their best selves, only to feel frustrated or blamed for the pressure of their control.
People do things for reasons.
His choice to stay connected to his past or to hold onto the anger is serving him in some way. Since I'm not talking to him, I have no idea of his reasons. It sounds like you are pretty clear that his attachment to the past is having a negative impact on your relationship. Many times people will use veiled boundaries as threats as opposed to real boundaires. I can't be specific.