Parents create rivalry problems by comparison and favoritism. They have to see their kids as separate individuals, and not compare them. The parents have to make sure that comparisons do not lead to them buying one thing for a child s need, and then buying the same item for the other child even though he does not need it. Children may feel resentful when parents push them into each other s turf, reports Kathy Thorburg, Ph. When a parent compares two siblings, it puts pressure in sports, school, and any other aspects of life on the younger child .
Parents inadvertently play favorites with their children.
The favorite child may not always be the cutest, smartest, kindest, or most thoughtful. It is not humanly possible for a parent to love each child the same. Children can cause their own rivalry without any input from parents. Fighting is not rivalry, but is sometimes caused by it. Sometimes children pick fights with their sibs because they are mad at themselves and there is no one else to take out their anger on.