And still you cry. Eventually I'd dunk her in Kath's arms and sprint to the fridge to fetch a beer. By the time I get back Harriet is fast asleep. A dagger slides into her father's heart. Sometimes, only mummy will do.
New parents are never short of unsolicited advice.
You swiftly learn to filter out the good from the barkingly mad. You also learn to modify your own values. Before Harriet arrived, no child of ours was going to get plonked in front of the telly to keep her amused while we had dinner. That lasted about a fortnight. People ask if fatherhood has changed me.