First, our embassy won't be a ramshackled, Unabomber-designed trailer. In the Republic of West U., our embassy will be an overpriced, two-story Georgian brick house. It will be tastefully furnished, too. OK, the backyard is tiny, but we're close to the Palace bowling alley, home of the finest greasy hamburgers in Houston. West U. is a sitting duck for a separatist takeover.
Nobody cares who runs the joint.
They just canceled city elections because all the candidates were running unopposed. The current mayor won't know what hit him. He's leaving, anyway. There's only one problem with West University splitting from the United States. Property taxes in West U. are so high, I'm afraid Washington would let us leave, and then hit us up for foreign aid.