Never ask people who have been in a fight what happened. You ll get their interpretation, their opinion, their version of what occurred. Then you get perceptions that are much closer to facts, not merely opinions. Facts help clarify perceptions, which is basic to conflict dissolution. Develop a sense of forgiveness.
Reconciliation is impossible without it.
Many people are willing to bury the hatchet, but they insist on remembering exactly where they buried it in case they need it for the next battle. Learn to listen actively. Take the first step toward reconciliation by being willing to listen with the intention to understand, and by being willing to listen first. Purify your heart. You can t get conflict and violence out of other people without first getting it out of your own soul.