Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Then he is finished. That happens in every country, son. The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener.