It could not have been more perfect unless he were also in the priesthood. Dear Committed, You're doing fine. Although there is a certain pleasure in ritualistically parading your latest trophy into the bedroom every night, there are some who enjoy the chase more than the actual capture. Nothing wrong with that. For years, you have honed a sixth sense for men who can run, who know how to scatter before your burning lust.
Pursuit is an art form, and sometimes failure is the perfect ending.
I mean, despite the intensity of your longing, you must have noticed a certain lack of emotional connectedness, a certain lack of satisfying sex in your interactions with the desired one. That would make sense, since this general lack of who knows what is exactly what makes your boy such excellent quarry. But the people we pursue are not necessarily the ones we stay with. That's why GQ keeps changing its front cover. You sound like you're looking for something else these days, so give yourself a chance to recalibrate your radar to an unfamiliar frequency.