So, if you're a thirteen year old boy about to do it to yourself, next time you get the urge, give Tom a call and he'll come running with his cameras to up the ante for Freddy 2 . No, we take that back. There's no man walking the face of the earth carrying a bigger package than the elephant Green polishes off for the climax of his movie. To keep things sexually fair, he suckles on a cow for dessert. We didn't think anything could be as stupid as the bits pulled for the television commercial but damned if we weren't wrong about that, too.
Nothing is sacred when it comes to comedy.
And nothing Green does is funny in this movie. Less than Zero. The one laugh we got came from the message on a protest sign carried by an extra. On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Freddie Got Fingered , he would have paid . . .