This can raise the issue of meeting that parent's special needs while ensuring that there are sufficient resources for the surviving mother or father. It is, after all, the parents' needs and wishes that should be paramount. At some point, whether to get the conversation going initially or to mediate differences that may arise, the family may need to call in a professional for help. An elder-law attorney can guide a family through the legal thickets of benefit eligibility and draw up wills, trusts, and other legal instruments that may be needed. A qualified geriatric-care manager can devise a care plan and estimate its costs.
Professionals can also serve as facilitators to help family members reconcile grievances.
The paper chase Before you can decide on any plan for your parent's care, you'll need to gather and organize key financial and legal documents. You'll also need copies of deeds for the parent's primary residence and any other property owned individually or jointly with others. And if a parent does not have a will or living trust drawn up in conformity to the rules of the state where he or she resides, have an attorney prepare one immediately. As a precaution in the event of an emergency, create an inventory of all key records, including the names of financial institutions, account numbers, phone numbers, and addresses. One or more of the adult children should keep copies of this list, with a backup turned over to the parent's attorney or conservator.