Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair. Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class. Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders. Master teachers can eat faster than that. Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Real teachers know the best end of the semester lesson plans can come from Blockbuster.
Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, and what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day. Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot. Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil at Costco. Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school. Real teachers know the rules don't really apply to them.