Real engineers get narcotics during labor, not for the pain, but to stop them from taking the fetal distress monitor apart. Real engineers don't shave their legs above the hemline, in the interest of efficiency. Also in the interest of efficiency, real engineers buy convertibles so they can blow-dry their hair on the way to work in the morning. Real engineers only buy purses big enough to fit their laptops in. Real engineers keep getting thrown out of Victoria's Secret because they insist on knowing the exact tensile strength of their bras before buying them.
Real Engineers carry a set of matched screwdrivers in their purses.
Real Engineers figure out how to nurse and fix the toaster at the same time. Real Engineers fix the runs in their pantyhose with duct tape. Real Engineers figure out algorithms to minimize thread usage when doing counted cross stitch. Real engineers keep their key chains and pen pocket protectors on even during labor. Real Engineers look on having a baby as an opportunity to brush up on biomedical and structural engineering in preparation for taking the PE exam.