When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently just disappear into the cosmos for no reason. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work. Don't use online help.
Online help is for wimps.
If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for you and all your coworkers. When you have a tech fixing your computer at a quarter past one, eat your lunch in his or her face. We function better when slightly dizzy. Don't ever thank us. When a tech asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie.