It is hard to distinguish between his violence and his explosive temper, his careless behavior and his irresponsibility or his insensitive comments and his self-centeredness. Claiming to love the person and hate the behavior seems like a feeble attempt to twist words in order to hold onto the notion of unconditional love. When needs conflict Marriage demands give and take. In a healthy marriage, partners work together to try to meet the needs of both. This means accommodation and compromise, but not total sacrifice to a point where one person has to commit identity suicide.
Marital love requires self respect, self-esteem, and a sense of personal boundaries and limits.
Marital love is not unconditional love, but next to a parent's love for a child, it is probably as close as we are going to get in our down to earth, human relationships. All rights reserved.