Defense mechanisms are viruses. They have no genetic material of their own. They infiltrate your cells and make use of YOUR DNA and use YOU for food. Hurt, pain, temperature, spasms, tears. It has little to do with the real world.
Reality is made of hurtful and joyous things.
If you are capable of noticing only the hurtful things - this is because you are using an emotional filter. It is a membrane generated by the slow death of your defense mechanisms, it is scar tissue as your wounds are healing. I'm glad to be journeying down this road with you. You are not. This is a journey no one can take with you.