The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot missile, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goesdown after the act. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Next day he received a hundred letters. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.