This means parents need to be alert for natural, appropriate times to talk about adoption. While parents might be more comfortable talking about adoption in the privacy of their own home, sometimes the natural, appropriate place to discuss adoption is while walking through the shopping mall or driving in the car. Parents can also overdo discussions of adoption, going into more detail than children need or can handle at that time. When that happens, children may change the subject or walk away. It is one way a child says he is overwhelmed by the information and needs time to process it.
Parents sometimes report that their daughters are more interested in adoption than their sons.
While there is little empirical evidence on this question, search groups often say that female adoptees are more commonly involved in searching for birth relatives than male adoptees. While some might argue that women are simply more curious than men, the more likely explanation is that it is more acceptable for women to express their feelings and vulnerabilities. While both male and female adoptees may feel they were rejected by their birth mothers when they were placed for adoption, the idea of being rejected by a woman has a different connotation for a male than for a female. As a result, boys may have a more difficult time admitting that they care about their birth mother or expressing an interest in her. The more parents can do to communicate to their sons that it is all right for them to express their feelings, to need nurturing, and to be powerless, the more able they may be to express their thoughts about adoption.