Once engaged, they want to win. This means not admitting any wrongdoing, and by no means apologizing. Women, on the other hand, want to be listened to and understood. They also want a fight to end with an apology. I know I cannot get past a disagreement without one, whether it's from me or the other person.
Research shows that the apology is a huge point of contention between the sexes.
Tannen agrees it is a good tool to end a fight. But insisting on it can also make things worse. Men, however, don't think an apology is necessary, and often view the mere request as a humiliation tactic or power play. That doesn't mean men can't change. I grew up in a household where my mom expected an apology, and my dad, king of the castle, always complied.