As fast as you want if you're a diplomat. And after passing the written test, you have to demonstrate a number of advanced driving skills, including yielding, slowing down and parallel parking. To get a gun, all you do is complete an application and wait a few days. You don't even have to pass a test on the common art of holding up a bank. Of course, as the NRA likes to say, guns don't kill people.
People kill people.
Guns just make it a whole lot easier. Melvin Durai, a graduate of Towson State University and a former Baltimorean, is a humor columnist at the Chambersburg, Pa., Public Opinion.