Yalom, a senior scholar at Stanford University's Institute for Women and Gender, traces the history of the institution, from biblical times to the present, utilizing diaries, literature, anecdotes, ancient court documents and records. Procreation was of prime importance, along with economic and social gain for which wives were the means. Roman men used marriage and divorce to advance themselves socially and politically, for example. Given short life expectancies, though, most marriages only lasted 10 to 15 years, so remarriages were commonplace. The notion of romantic love emerges at this time, but the idea of marrying for love did not become important until much later.
Marriage now is supposed to be for love and mutual respect, a relationship based on equality.
This relatively new concept is already under attack. Advice-giver John Gray has built a cottage industry on the idea that not only are men and women from different spheres, but from different planets. Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider rewrote The Rules , hearkening back to the courtship rituals of the 1950s. Marriage is still evolving, she concludes. Just ask Ellen Fein, whose latest book co-written with Sherrie Schneider, The Rules for Marriage, comes out in May. Fein and her husband, Paul Feingertz, announced they were divorcing.