Ordering the pinot noir, and trying so hard to pronounce it correctly, and then asking for it medium rare. It doesn't matter, honey. I don't care for linguini with arugula and rock shrimp either. I want my pasta the way it was made to be eaten - with a lot of red stuff on top. A nice tomato sauce.
Nothing beats good old ketchup.
With all its natural mellowing agents that help combat feelings of inadequacy. But when you've got ketchup, you've got what you need. For the good times.