Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them. They last forever, largely because nobody ever eats them. Unfortunately, the whole person shows up. A man gets up to speak and says nothing.
Nobody listens and then everybody disagrees.
Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.