Instead, fidgeting nervously in the quiet theater, she yanked the tab off her soda can. Without much thought, she pressed its sharp edge deep into the flesh of her thumb. The pain and blood that followed made her feel, for the first time, as if she were in control. What self-injurers have in common, says Levenkron, is that they are often children of divorce, and as many as 90 percent grew up in homes where communication between parents and child was lacking and where messy problems were ignored, avoided and ultimately left in silence. This kind of nonverbal expression of anger and frustration is common, says Levenkron.
Many cutters simply lack the language skills to express their emotions.
Instead, they feel only self-loathing, alienation and an intense desire to do themselves harm. Self-injurers turn to cutting as a way to avoid feelings of worthlessness, numbness and detachment. At the heart of self-injury is control, says Lader. As with eating disorders, self-abuse is a way to take charge of your body. It's a way to control parents and friends whose attention you want, or who are worried about you.