In addition, an Institute spokesperson said, most respondents reported moments of uncontrollable shivering and palsy when players gripped towels in their teeth, saying it was a lot like watching somebody chew tin foil. Following a long pause while the media watched to see if the Vice President had just told a joke, Gore also admitted to having created spark plugs, nachos grande and the flea collar. You can't create something that isn't really there. It's not a thing. It's like telephones.
Nobody knows how that stuff works.
Not one to be left out of the fray, former presidential candidate Bob Dole revealed that he, too, has left his mark on America by creating erectile dysfunction. Extensive tests have shown that the weed has potent medicinal value, but thus far has had to be administered out of sight of the law. Clinical trials of the non-intoxicating strain were conducted on 500 volunteers across the country over the past two years. One test patient was found not to have glaucoma at all, but merely suffered severe eyestrain from being stoned for twenty years. If legalized, the new marijuana variety is expected to cause a downturn in small aircraft sales and devastate the market for the little cardboard deodorizers made to hang from rear view mirrors.