Good self-esteem is possible. Most of us blame others. A second thinking pattern commonly encountered in this culture is one resulting from the belief that you and I are really the same. But I intend no judgment about the relative value of these three thinking patterns. Togetherness and joining become important values for mature thinkers.
Relationships are often rich and filled with empathy and understanding.
Another plus for such mature thinkers is their willingness to find out what is right and wrong for themselves instead of just acquiring another's ideas without testing. The minuses often associated with this thinking pattern are enmeshments in unsatisfactory relationships, also anger, bewilderment and lack of understanding when people are really different. For example, if a mature thinking person with lots of idealism meets someone steeped in cynicism, understanding of the cynic will probably prove to be elusive. As there were for stuck young thinkers, there are two possibilities for stuck mature thinkers. One possibility is that the mature thinker can come to believe that in some ways we are very different, which is part of the old thinking pattern.