Elizabeth Kubler-Ross describes the stages related to the death of a loved one as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I remember one morning when my son was fixing breakfast at the stove, as I sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Although the stages described here apply to most people, they are not an absolute progression for everyone. Some pregress through the stages in three months, others take years. In any case, the initial feeling is usually one of loss.
Most parents think they know and understand their children from the day of their birth.
They lose the perception they once had of their child and don't yet know if they will like the real person who is replacing that idea. Those who experience the biggest shock when their child comes out probably are those who suffer the greatest feeling of loss and rejection. It's not that they separate from the child as much as it is that they feel their child has willfully separated from them. It's a traumatic discovery. With understanding and patience from all parties, that relationship can be restored.