In relationships, many ACA's find that, as a result of the traumatic bonding with our sick parents, we are now drawn to relationships with alcoholics or addicts of one sort or another. We become addicted to these dysfunctional people to the point that our own lives revolve around the addict, to our own detriment. We have lived our lives focused on significant others in our lives rather than living from our own beingness, adapting to the wants and needs of others rather than from our own agenda. We learn to love ourselves. We grieve our losses and become the ones we are, rather than what someone else tried to make us.
Recovery is a process.
Most of us feel that once you have come to ACA and have identified with the symptoms or issues we have in common the process has begun. Having begun, your life will begin to change, though it may not always be immediately apparent. Be forewarned, that it is not always a pleasant road. While each case is different, the experts generally feel that on average, it may take three to five years before things begin to level out for you. But the rewards are worth the effort.