This happens when the experiences appear as inconsistent with the self-structure. There is a need for the actual and the perceived self to be congruent, otherwise tension builds, causing anxiety and uncertainty. Rogers looked at the way in which evaluations of others impede or facilitate self-actualization. He was aware of the tendency's dependence on genetics, but also knew it was subject to environmental influences. A child has two basic needs, that is, positive regard from others, and positive self-regard.
Positive regard means being loved and accepted for who one is.
Unconditional positive regard is being loved no matter what he or she does and is ideal for developing a good perception of the self. Conditional positive regard applies conditions of worth on the child. Only if the child behaves and feels certain ways will he or she deserve the parents' love. There has to be a distinction between feelings and actions, though. Feelings just happen but there are certain actions that are not appropriate.