Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot. Real teachers have never heard an original excuse. Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil at Sam's. Real teachers never plan discussions for the first of the day or cooperative groups for the end of the day, or during an evaluation. Real teachers have the assistant principals' and counselors' home phone numbers.
Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school.
Real teachers know the rules don't really apply to them. Since our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. I would not allow this student to breed. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.