Infants cannot survive without care and feeding by their parents. They do not know the meaning of the word love. But they must experience relief when their hunger is sated, when a wet diaper is changed, when a warm blanket is provided. Often the kindness is relief from discomfort and pain. Kristin denied that Olafson, her captor, was the source of her pain.
Many hostages deny or repress or forget that fact.
They do realize, consciously and deep inside, that someone with the power to take their life is not killing them. On the contrary, this powerful person gives them food and blankets and permission to speak and the right to use a toilet. The hostage feels grateful and attached. Scores of ex-hostages have described this phenomenon to me. Only when the feeling of attachment has faded, sometimes years later, do they fully appreciate what occurred and arrive at a reasonable explanation.