In light of this dire reality, a reality just about everyone with a vague attraction to males eventually has to accept, I made an executive decision to return to the erotic roots of my childhood. Barring catastrophe, I thereby declared myself bisexual forever and ever. Michelangelo knew it. Plato knew it. Calvin Klein knows it.
Men are just prettier.
It's a realm of sexual paradox, encompassing busty porn stars and chic Audrey Hepburn-types alike. Desperate for answers, I turned to Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet advises us that poetry and sexiness are the way to a woman's heart. This limericks never go anywhere knightly, and rarely impress women. It had sparkles in it.