Today in Ireland we operate under a Marriage Act 1844, which allows the Church of Ireland, among other churches and institutions, to officiate at marriages that the State is prepared to recognise as true marriages. Perhaps it is because Church and State have combined to operate a system which is apparently seamless between the civil and ecclesiastical aspects of marriage, that the belief has built up steadily through the nineteenth and into the twentieth century that a church marriage was the only real marriage in the sight of God. The belief of the Christian Church through well over half of its existence has been otherwise . In her address Ms Missen said that Marriage had changed, but in her view it was for the better, both for men and for women. She defined a happy marriage, as quite simply being respected and cherished , and went on to say that in a modern marriage couples see themselves as equal partners where neither holds the greater power.
Mutuality is the key word, and the key to being respected and cherished.
She firmly believed that, in spite of what many people think, couples today do have a sense of commitment, and do make every effort to save the relationship. True, many more marriages are breaking down, but in her opinion, only a tiny minority on their wedding day feel they are not making a commitment. But because of the pressures of life today marriages are under stress and breaking down. Often at the end of a day, after coping with work, traffic, children, homework and housework, couples have little energy left for maintaining their relationship. Turning to communication, Ms Missen spoke about gender difference and the impact it can have on a relationship.