I understood and believed in the ethic of not pushing one's education down the throat of one's significant other. Dear Heartbroken, There's always a problem in a relationship when one person grows in one direction and the other goes in another direction or fails to grow as fast. The fast grower, you, always gets annoyed at the slow grower, your fiance. You think that because you love someone they will grow in exactly the same way you do and at the same speed. That's just not true, especially when you're young.
Relationships are hard enough without having an even bigger gulf to bridge.
You probably grew apart, and that happens. Insisting that the other person grow at the same speed that you do would only lead to conflict. You just can't make someone else grow at your speed. As for dysfunctional patters of relating under stress, well, anyone can relate functionally when there's no stress. Stress brings out the worst in people, and they often revert to the dysfunctional patterns of behavior they learned in their families.