Fortunately, most of us won t have the opportunity to ever find out. But sometimes we feel as though that is what has happened when a loved one dies, when your child has been in a major car accident and is lying in intensive care, when a natural disaster strikes. The feeling of shock and helplessness often stays with us for a while.
People basically have two ways of dealing with such emergencies.
Fight or flight. Some people go into a highly efficient mode, in which they concentrate on making arrangements for the funeral, calling up friends and relatives, seeing to their needs while ignoring their own. Eventually, they hope the pain will dull, or a big hole will continue to gape open in their hearts. Other people flee the situation by withdrawing and becoming helpless. They sit alone and cry all day, grieving and unable to function properly.