Most of what we've said about the middle-school years can be said again, underlined, then highlighted, for the years when kids are in high school.
Older teens are even more mobile and increasingly immersed in their own peer society.
And when they are home, they may spend time barricaded in their rooms, shut off from the family by closed doors and a wall of loud music. Your ability at this point to shape your teenager's life in a positive direction depends to an immense degree on the foundation of good will, respect, and trust you've built your relationship on. And whether you like it or not, their ability to emerge as independent, competent adults depends on your willingness to let them make choices increasingly independent of you. There's suddenly much about your teen's life that you'll know for sure only if they're willing to tell you. Trying to establish whether or not you're being told the truth can be futile and can even create further conflict.