I thanked her, took my bag, and walked out to my car. I had convinced myself that during my three and a half hours in this company, I had been found out at my office at the university, and I didn't have another job to go to. So I drove back there. I surprised my boss and everyone else by waltzing in and making up an elaborate story about a family emergency that had happened, which unfortunately took me away for the morning, but now I just wanted to get back to work and take my mind off things. Yes, I'm sure I did.
People tend to look bad when they've just done something enormously stupid.
Wanting to leave my job isn't the wrong thing. I'm unsuited for it, and it's not where I should be. But I ran. I tucked tail and booked out of there without any thought. Or rather, I did the kind of circular thinking that I've become so good at lately.