Mediation training, however, is available to anyone, and parties may select a mediator who is neither an attorney nor a mental health professional. Ethical standards prevent an attorney mediator from providing legal advice to mediation clients and prevent a mental health professional from providing therapy to mediation clients. If parenting and financial issues are decided in mediation, parties may meet with a mediator from four to ten times for about two hours each session. If only custody and visitation issues are mediated, two to four sessions will probably suffice. The complexity of issues and work done by the parties and their attorneys outside mediation will affect the time needed.
Mediators usually charge hourly fees which are shared by the parties.
Arrangements for payment should be made in advance between the parties and with the mediator. Negotiation in mediation is usually less expensive than negotiation through attorneys and requires more time and work from parties. Mediation is not appropriate if the parties cannot speak honestly and freely to each other, with the mediator's assistance, because of the emotional instability, intimidation, or lack of ability to understand the process of either party. A history of physical abuse or substance abuse during the marriage should be disclosed to the mediator and may cause the parties or the mediator to decide that mediation will not work well. The children who adjust best to divorce are those who have substantial continuing contact with both parents and whose parents provide a healthy model for resolving conflicts.