Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line. Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class. Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders. Master teachers can eat faster than that. Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.
Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.
Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office. Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day. Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest. Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot. Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.