It doesn't take great wisdom to see that when a dominant spouse begins using words to habitually control and attack, a critical line has been crossed. When the line between normal marital conflict and severe verbal abuse is increasingly crossed, the relationship becomes oppressive. Partners stand less and less on equal ground. One spouse doesn't have the freedom to say no or to express his or her views and opinions. The Bible doesn't take any kind of selfish domination lightly.
Oppression is a terrible experience in any context, but especially in marriage.
Instead, it's more like a dictatorship, one spouse lording authority over the other. To reinforce control, spouses with the most power may try to isolate their mates from family and friends. Behind closed doors they may also use a pattern of physical, emotional, financial, and even sexual control. Experience and research tell us that husbands are usually the ones who are verbally controlling, but many wives are guilty as well. While husbands commit most of the physical abuse that occurs in marriage, both husbands and wives have the potential to dominate their spouses with their words.