Although I probably will be a little more watchful for nastiness in my toddler, what really bothers me about this study is not that he might be turning into an obnoxious brat because he has been spending his days with Ms. Brenda, Ms. Judy and Ms. Kathye. In fact, I'm fairly certain these exceptional women have done things for him, both emotionally and intellectually, that I couldn't have done. No, I'm concerned that the debate over the findings of this study will reverse whatever progress we've made in supporting mothers to live balanced, economically feasible lives, and send us hurtling back in time. I heard someone say in the bookstore after the story broke. Or even extending parental leave options and part-time work, as one of the study's investigators suggested, although that would certainly help some parents a lot.
Many women literally have no choice about whether to get someone else to take care of their kids.
And don't forget women who are trying to get off welfare. Getting someone else to watch their kids, even if it's a dangerous, corrupt day care provider, is essentially their only choice. Economics aside, some mothers find that taking care of kids full time is great, the best thing they could do. But for some of us, it isn't. Instead of trying to make this complex, emotional issue about right and wrong, good and bad, let's talk about it in a different way.