Whenever possible, let your kids decide how or when to follow your directions. Again, giving your child some say in what procedures she's to follow can often prevent power struggles. Be careful, however, not to use words implying that not doing the task is one of the options, notes Windell. She's likely to argue with you, because in her mind, the answer is yes, she would mind taking the garbage out and would rather have somebody else do it. If you want to offer her a choice, make it clear that what she gets to decide is when to do the job, not whether to do it.
Many parents give directions that are too broad and open to misinterpretation.
Ask young, easily distracted kids to repeat your directions silently to themselves several times. Offer older kids a written checklist or, better still, have them write down the information themselves. Create positive and negative consequences. Offering a reward for following your directions, and a penalty for disregarding them, has two important advantages, Windell says. First, you'll provide motivation for your child to mind you when you tell her that if she finishes her homework by six, she'll have time to watch her favorite TV show.