The last 5 minutes will be stretched out for 20 minutes with commercials. In case of emergency, speak in cliches. 95 pound women in tight skirts can throw around 300 pound muscle- bound men. Fist-fights don't result in bruises. Helicopters are attracted to mountains.
People normally wake up in the morning with make-up on.
There are no really ugly women, only really ugly men. If a women is running away from someone she will trip and fall. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength. Haunted houses are never locked.