Abrasion is loosely defined as rubbing the surface of a fabric. In normal wear and in washing and drying fibers in fabrics wear against other surfaces and against each other. In so doing, they literally rub each other out. The softening treatments attack the fibers and make them more vulnerable to the usual abrasion of washing and tumble drying. The first evidence of abrasive wear is often a fuzz-ball or pill on the surface of a fabric.
Modern detergents have enzymes added to eat away the pill and leave the surface of fabrics smooth.
So, laundering and care is a source of abrasion that can lead to the first thread break that begins to form a hole. You can't really analyze a hole to determine the chemical to blame as there is nothing in the hole to analyze, so many holes in clothing remain a puzzle. Family experience tells me that mothers often do not get the full story about how clothing gets holes and meets its ultimate unwearable fate.