I'm getting depressed. I'm 19 and he's 21. I love him and want to be as happy as I once was with his constant attention and affection. Whatever it is, whatever vacancy you're looking for this guy to fill, is one you need to deal with on your own. If it's this guy, or some other guy down the road, you're putting everything on something that one day may be gone.
People leave and people die.
The only thing you can count on in your life is yourself. If you, on your own, can't produce something that makes your life worth living and keeping you from getting depressed, then you're going to feel empty. This is something you've got to think about. I realize how little I know and am reminded every day. I do see certain trends, and the saddest of them has to be loneliness and isolation.