Our view of sex and marriage depends on how we define adultery. Jesus told us to interpret each of these questions in the light of loving God and loving our neighbor. If in doubt, we should do as we would be done by. Once families have learned to discuss these questions honestly at home, church going should offer deeper spiritual insight from the Word of God, and a framework of moral guidance. A preacher should learn do that without nagging judgmentalism, and the message should be sweetened with great compassion.
Nobody wants to go home more riddled with guilt than when they came.
We also need to know how God intends to change us and perfect us for heaven. The third area of longing was for a community that will welcome us and our family and friends, warts and all, in sickness and in health, even when we are depressed and our faith is about non-existent. Evidently that is a tall order, and very few congregations know to meet such demands. So it is time to shift focus from our sense of need to the Lord of the church. Jesus came from heaven and told that He came to meet exactly the three strands of longings we have outlined.