Use fewer notes rather than play every beat. Leave spaces in your playing so that other drummers will have space to play in. Using fewer notes will help you keep up speed with the other drummers and dancers, and also allows you to be more creative. It is all right to get lost. If you do, stop playing for a while, listen for the basic pulse, and join in with it.
Repetition is an important and integral part of drumming.
Use your eyes as well as your ears to understand what is happening. Pay attention, look and listen while you play. If you are an experienced or lead drummer, be responsible. Listening is even more important when you are the glue holding the rhythm together. Be aware of the energy of the group.