I feel angry about that. Sometimes I just feel a great sense of distress. I go into their room and something will trigger off a memory. It's then very hard to come to terms with the fact that they are not in our lives any more. I regret the smacking and it feels like the worst thing I have ever done in my life.
Nothing comes close.
We wouldn't be fighting to get our children back if we didn't believe we have a lot to offer as parents. I can't believe that, after 10 years of wanting to be a family, we will never be one. Mary and Joe have made an official complaint and an independent investigator has compiled a 46-page report. It also states that none of the staff felt they were dealing with a child protection matter and says the department needed to work at reuniting the boys with us before considering other options. But Mary is not hopeful that the boys will be returned.