It is his battle and I have to let him fight it. He has at least agreed to read and is VERY Aware of what this does to me, and is starting to see what is does to her. I hope she becomes a pest. Ergo, continued contact causes comparisons in his mind that threaten understanding and compassion between us. He need a BIG AH HAh moment.
Prayers go a long way too.
I may still have to issue a threat to the OW, It is a good fantasy anyway. Then I guess, back off. I'm trying hard to take this same advice myself. I just spent the entire session with my counsellor talking about my h instead of my childhood abuse. Don't know if you've read my threads, but it seems we've fallen back to being roommates, though we get along very well.