On the Print Preview toolbar, click Shrink to Fit. Click Print to print the document. Have your whole site in one page, then you won't have to bother with navigation buttons. Put a huge graphic on the entry page, before the content of your site. It's not your fault if visitors have slow modems.
Nobody minds the odd broken link.
Use animated GIFs liberally. These are very amusing. Have the site in at least three frames. Web sites without background wallpaper are dull. Use lots of different fonts.