What I learned most is that each situation is indeed unique and a parent, knowing the child best, is the ultimate judge of what to say. It is just a piece of the issue based on my experience with certain families. I admittedly leave out the entire discussion of telling HIV-infected children about their own illness as this was not the subject of the project. Only one parent I met reported no conflict in telling. We've got to pray and get busy.
Most parents however spend a lot of time in conflict about what to do.
A big concern is that knowing a parent's diagnosis will rob a child of his or her childhood. He worried that David wouldn't want to go out with his friends anymore, that he would cling to his dad's side and not want to play baseball, his favorite activity. He feared David would have nightmares and no longer sleep peacefully, burdened with the knowledge that his dad was sick. Parents struggle with the fear that their children will hate them or abandon them once they learn the news. Many parents have not been able to care for their children for years due to addictions, financial problems, or other prohibiting circumstances.