My synagogue treats me like I am divorced. It is likely that ALL of us would call ourselves crazy to some extent or on one issue or another. The things I have done to myself were so terrible that if someone else had done them to me I would have had them arrested. I am not sure that religion is always the answer.
Religion is different from a synagogue.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive them one day. But for now, just hold on. Keep going to Ala-non meetings and stick with the winners.