I have been working with a large group of relatives to help them come out of denial. We are making slow but steady progress, using the strategies of educational approach and trust relationship that you mentioned before. Another mother called me yesterday to find out how to test. Aware that VHL is in their family tree, but it hasn't hit them yet. It's good for the patient and for the family at large.
Prevention is the theme.
I like to remind people that wearing a seatbelt is a prevention exercise that can reduce harm. It's a small effort to reduce risks. Using examples like this helps. But different people are ready to listen at different times. Assessing readiness is key, and is the craft of a wise person.