The consequence of this is that some men have not shed a tear in years. This suppression of crying in men may be partly responsible for the fact that men are more prone than women to stress-related illnesses and die at an earlier age. It could also help explain why more men than women commit violent acts. When painful emotions are repeatedly repressed, they can become distorted and show up later as violence towards others. Parents naturally want their children to be happy, and feel it is their job to make their children happy, often failing to realize that happiness will return spontaneously after the crying outburst has run its course.
Many parents quickly lose confidence and feel they are incompetent when their children cry.
It helps to remember that when children cry, the hurt has usually already happened. Crying is not the hurt, but the process of becoming unhurt. A child's tears or tantrums are not an indication of an incompetent parent. On the contrary, crying indicates that the child feels safe enough to bring up painful feelings, and is not afraid of being rejected. First of all, parents can take preventive measures by attempting to reduce frustrations, disappointments, and overstimulation.