It takes experience of the people you want to talk to and develop a relationship with. This starts with respect for the ways of the community you are visiting. Watch, listen and learn about the different ways of different nations. Relationships that are possible are deep and fundamental. True respect cannot be built on a foundation of half-truths, of glossing over our differences and difficulties for the sake of some illusory harmony.
Reality is too complex, and the urgency of the tasks at hand too pressing.
To fight oppression we need all our strengths, all of our varied truths, all of our creativity, all our courage, all our caring. When we lovingly challenge a sister or brother on something they have said or done, it is because we want the connections among us to be strong and durable, and that can only happen if they are based on truth. The poor record of environmentalists in building alliances with First Nations, as often results from people either not bothering to consult with, or not even realising that a local community would even have opinions and concerns on activities planned and undertaken. They never even knew to head to first base. Once headed in the general direction of first base bring your skills of an open heart and open mind.