I took it out on him even though I promised myself I wouldn't. This led to an interesting discussion about the difference between psychological work and spiritual work. Many of our psychological needs or problems are exactly the same as our spiritual needs or problems, so the work is the same. But every now and then, the psychological level of our experience can be very different from the spiritual level, and so the work may be entirely opposite. We must bear in mind that the goal of psychological work is to have a healthy and happy life, while the goal of spiritual work is to know God.
Psychological work is about the individual in relationship to others.
Spiritual work is about transcending that individual self in union with God. God-realized people are not merely psychologically healthy human beings. That is not the case. Take a bubble bath, treat yourself to a massage or a weekend at a spa, tell your husband to take care of his own stiff neck. A person can only handle so much.