At the other extreme, the partner may find the behaviour pattern intriguing, perhaps even stimulating. The majority probably fall in between these two extremes and form some sort of compromise and tolerance without necessarily approval. A transvestite who indulges in cross-dressing at the expense of time spent with wife and family, and at the cost of purchasing a double wardrobe, risks alienating both wife and family. If the couple can work together in mutual acceptance of feelings, and to support the partnership, there is a real possibility that the marriage may be strengthened and enhanced. Such transvestites may have developed a better understanding of the opposite sex.
Many partners lack knowledge and assume that cross-dressing equates with homosexuality.
They may also fear the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. A transvestite is no more at risk in this than any other member of the public. More commonly a partner may feel inadequate and believe that somehow she must have failed her husband as a woman. Often the most damaging is the feeling of being deceived and that the secret has gone unshared despite the intimate life which they otherwise have. Like the transvestite himself the partner may fear adverse reaction from parents, relatives, friends, and particularly the children of the marriage.