If you sometimes say hurtful things and regret saying them later, you may be guilty of throwing the baby out with the bath water. This last statement gets the message across and isn't something you have to apologize for later. Cooling off time Try a cooling off time if arguments get heated. In my own experience, there have been so many times that if my husband had left me alone for a few minutes to collect myself, our arguments would have been toned down a few decibels. Breaking old habits It can be difficult to put some of these strategies into play because when we are upset or feeling vulnerable we sometimes protect ourselves with the same defense mechanism over and over again until it just becomes habit.
People tend to act the same or say the same things every time they argue.
An other aspect of difficulty in trying a new approach has to do with the fact that arguing is irrational and deciding to not participate in a potential argument the usual way is rational and most times, effective. Habits, especially old ones, are hard to break. Best Good Fair Poor Christine Longmore is a writer and has also had a career as an Employment Specialist for people with disabilities. Most recently, she has provided counsulting services and produced a sucessful series of seminars for other Employment Specialists. Although every effort is made to present accurate information, security is imperfect and unintended errors or mischievous material may be present.