Sometimes the answers begin to come and are, because of accident or illness, abruptly cut short. Years later it hangs with you. So many of you know that. Not only in the grief of bereavement. Also in the horrific nightmare of abuse and torture.
Parents greatest instinct is to protect their children.
Speak ill of their child within earshot. Treat the child badly. Lay a hand on the youngster. You experienced it, hour after long dark hour. Ripped so from your arms.