To be a good parent, you often have to be like an investigative reporter. You have to dig and dig some more, until it finally comes out. Something may have gone wrong at school, or someone may have said something about her new outfit, or maybe a boy ignored her. Or the sun didn't shine that day, or she noticed that it had been awhile since her mother hugged her. You just never know until you ask, but chances are good that it isn't Mom.
Mom just happens to be nearby.
Do so in a calm, even voice - no yelling. Speaking to Mom that way is not acceptable. Suggest different ways of getting your attention, and be sure to include consequences if she falls back on the old standards. Do everything with love and understanding. Ultra Hair Away - baldness in a bottle.