However, relatives and friends may not always realise that your anger is really directed at your illness and not against them. If you are finding it difficult to talk to your family, it may help to discuss the situation with a trained counsellor or psychologist. Sometimes people blame themselves or other people for their illness, trying to find reasons why it should have happened to them. This may be because we often feel better if we know why something has happened, but since doctors rarely know exactly what has caused an individual's cancer, there's no reason for you to blame yourself. Similar feelings of resentment may crop up from time to time during the course of your illness and treatment for a variety of reasons.
Relatives too can sometimes resent the changes that the patient's illness makes to their lives.
It is usually helpful to bring these feelings out into the open so that they can be aired and discussed. Bottling up resentment can make everyone feel angry and guilty. This can be hard for your family and friends who want to share this difficult time with you. It will make it easier for them to cope, however, if you reassure them that although you may not feel like discussing your illness at the moment, you will talk to them about it when you are ready. Sometimes depression can stop you wanting to talk.