Many adversarial lawyers have little or no experience with the non-adversarial approach used in mediation. Some even disapprove of mediation, arguing that divorcing spouses should not negotiate on their own but only through lawyers. This is slowly changing, as divorce lawyers become more aware of mediation and its benefits for their clients. In mediation, the mediator decides what's fair. The mediator's job is to help the spouses negotiate an agreement that each of them considers fair enough to accept.
Mediation is always the best option for every divorcing couple.
As long as both spouses are able to speak up for what's important to them, and can behave themselves appropriately in mediation, the process can work for them. On the other hand, mediation may not offer enough protection and structure for some couples. For example, a couple with domestic violence or substance abuse issues may need to have lawyers speak for them instead of trying to negotiate directly. In addition, some spouses may prefer to assume the risks and cost of adversarial litigation in order to make a point or assert a legal right rather than compromise in a settlement. Splitting property underlies nearly every divorce, be it real property, investments, retirement accounts and debts.