Different people have different ways of reacting to an experience which will not only have been painful and terrifying, but which will probably have affected their whole life by taking away her feelings of safety and trust. They may be too shocked to face up to what has happened, or they may be forcing their feelings under the surface because they are afraid of losing control completely once they let the feelings out. So it is important to take them seriously, to believe what they tell you and to be prepared to hear shocking and upsetting details. Don t cast doubt on what you are told, the person needs to be listened to by someone who can accept the truth of what they are saying. It is important to be accepting of the way they are reacting, the way they are reacting may not be what you were expecting.
Many people develop difficulties in their lives.
They might find it impossible to go to work, for instance, or find it hard to deal with their children. It is best to get rid of any ideas you may have of how a person who has been raped should behave, and to accept their reactions as normal. However, there are some reactions, which are very common. Survivors often feel guilty about being raped and feel that they could, and should, have done something to stop it happening. It is easy to say what we would do if we were attacked, but it is quiet different when it happens.