Please, say it to their face. Self defence is not violence. Even though violence is wrong, there is nothing more precious in this world than life, your life, my life, anyone's life. That's not true. One's beliefs are more precious.
People prove that to be the case every day - or at least they prove that they believe it.
IF I can save myself by breaking an arm or two, so be it. No second chances. But I don't agree that the best way to preserve oneself is through violence. It might be one way to save one's life, but it might not be the best way to preserve oneself. I commend mine to God everyday.