Baptism is for believers only. Baby dedication should not be confused with salvation. Baptism should always follow salvation. What baptism symbolizes is directly connected to the method by which a person is baptized. Fear should not keep you from baptism.
Refusal is disobedience.
Baptism is not part of the salvation experience. You do not have to be baptized to be saved. Jesus commanded us to be baptized. It is a public confession of our faith. It identifies us with the body of Christ.