I'm a football.
Many great concepts owe their origins to the pre-historic.
Happily however, successive millennium witnessed my social ascension, as fledgling man, awakened by the spit of rain on skin drawn tight over tough weary muscles, discovered himself distinct from the trees and the hills and the people around him, and emerging from his former nebulous existence invented the concept of competition. Shaped by antagonistic forces, a past-time of once aimless tomfoolery rapidly developed into a sophisticated game with a clearly defined set of rules. Rarely has an inanimate object enjoyed the attention of so many people at the same time. I soon found myself being driven from one end of the pitch to the other in an exhausting display of physical exertion and mental rapacity, and rammed savagely into the net by man's deep desire to defeat. One thing is sure, compared to my offspring the object footballs, I spend a far higher percentage of my time scoring goals or flying into the open arms of a heroic goalie than I do stashed away in some dusty cupboard.