When we try to change someone, they resist. The more we try, the more they resist, and the more the differences become entrenched. The solution is love. When we love and appreciate our partners, they relax into a more positive mode. We are all much more motivated to really listen to and accommodate someone who truly cares about and respects us.
Real love is about continuing to be affectionate and supportive even in the face of differences.
Tearing down another person will begin to tear down the relationship. It is an uphill climb to rebuild trust after cruel, judgmental words are spoken. The natural response to such negativity is to pull back, and put less of oneself into the relationship. Love, acceptance and understanding, on the other hand, result in a heart opening, and a willingness to share and work together. So it's not surprising then, that the way to a more loving relationship is to be more loving ourselves.