It is hurtful and a disappointment, but if this has been a consistent part of your friend's character or something tolerated by the group members it is unlikely that it will suddenly change. No one is perfect. I'm not telling you to put up or shut up about habits that are abusive in friendships, I'm just stating that more than likely these personality flaws in your friends may have always been there. Viewing your friendships as 'friends for life' or as a 'family' may sound ideal, but it may be somewhat unrealistic. Throughout our life as we continue to change and grow, so do our relationships.
Nothing stays the same forever.
That goes for just about everything including our friendships, our interests and our viewpoints. Although you are saddened by this situation try to consider your friends viewpoints and how they may feel, it may help you to develop a stronger level of tolerance. Your HIV status coupled with your viewpoints toward friendship may have placed extra demands and emotional burdens on your friendships that they may have chosen to reject or felt they could not meet. You want a higher level in friendship but remember your friendships were created on a past situational foundation of going out to bars. You maybe demanding something more, which may or may not be possible for these people.