The man should should show the wife that he values her and the concept 'us' over 'him'. He should take the initiative to turn off the game and talk. Traditonal marriage counselors have a low rate of success. The therapies they use have been shown over time to be ineffective. I hear you saying I'm a lazy fat hog.
Most folks stop hearing and start cussing somewhere around the word lazy.
He says marriages with patterns of physical abuse generally shouldn't be saved, because it's very difficult to change these habits and patterns. So if a man hits you the popular wisdom of kicking him to the curb remains the most sound. Gottman says to dwell on what made you marry your partner in the first place. Fan the embers of remembered passion, adoration and love. Know your partner.