The same kind of examination during a week-end away with her would be adulterous. When a couple can agree that adultery is always wrong, it is also easier to work at the difficult problems of looking and lusting in Chapter 6 and sexual fantasy in Appendix E . And when there are possibilities on the borderline it is important for a husband to discuss them with his wife, and let her decide for example whether or not she would be happy if he took a business partner to lunch. Then when the time comes she would appreciate a telephone call mentioning her name and the time and place of the engagement. An hour talking at the office could be acceptable, but an hour sitting talking on her bed in her apartment would be adulterous even if no physical intimacy took place.
Many couples find sex and sexual feelings and sexual longings very hard to share with one another.
Some also find it hard to get on the wavelength of their children. So one purpose of this book has been to provide materials to open up the conversation, and that is the most important part of love and intimacy. For that purpose situation ethics does not seem to help at all. If we agree about the absolute part of each of the ten commandments, we begin with an agreed basis for creative moral discussion about their particular application in the complex problems of our lives.