The best choice is to set up a QTIP trust, naming your kids as the final beneficiaries. In this case, the money goes into your wife's estate, but when she dies, the cash goes where you want it to go. So even if a QTIP trust puts your spouse over the current estate tax limit, if he or she lives long enough, the limit will rise beyond the size of the estate. No tax bill. However, before setting up a QTIP trust, keep in mind that your kids won't see the money until your spouse dies.
People know they're going to die eventually.
N.Y. The trouble is, if you die suddenly without a will, you'll be sticking your family with a lot of unneeded confusion at what couldn't be a more difficult time. It must name an executor. It must name a guardian, if you have minor children. And to prevent the possibility of your estate being drained by legal bills, it absolutely must spell out how you want your property distributed as specifically as possible. The more vague the instructions, the more likely your descendants will have reason to quibble.