To be talked to in a polite manner, to have one's thoughts and feelings acknowledged and respected, to be liked as a human being are all powerful healing experiences. Traumatic violence leaves the victim feeling powerless and helpless. Therefore, healing requires that the victim regain a measure of personal control in her life. It is the patient who decides who to talk to and how much to say. Clinicians should ask the victim how it feels to talk about the abuse.
Many victims are ambivalent about telling their story.
They worry that others may question their character or cast doubt on the authenticity of their story. Clinicians also should ask how it feels to accept help from others. Our society makes a virtue of self-reliance. Patients should be reassured that there is no shame in needing support from others. Healthcare providers should avoid clinical neutrality.