Females were passive. Today, female orgasm is often the goal in sexual encounters. We are supposed to be that way, we are told by most sexual experts. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not opposed to oral sex, vibrators, mutual masturbation or anything else that gives satisfaction to both partners in the sex act.
Outside stimuli can be fun.
If you have lost hope that a man can find the magic button and know what to do with it when he does, remember there is someone who can go right to it and know immediately what to do. Though its nice to have a skillful partner, it is important to know that it isn't necessary for orgasm to take place. Giving ourselves an orgasm is the sexual equivalent of being able to change a flat tire or support our kids. Hutchins proposes that a faster response by women can save relationships. She feels that women AND men need to stop worrying about proper performance and concentrate on their own pleasure.