Sometimes it had more to do with a sexualised obsession with her. Both these patterns are common for men in heterosexual relationships. Critical reflection I'VE moved a long way since that time eight years ago. At the time, I was already worried about my sexual behaviour. But the crucial step was to acknowlege that I'd done some coercive and sleazy things to Jane.
Rape is fucked.
It's totally unacceptable. The second crucial element in stopping my behaviour is to find out how it's experienced by the woman. As well as acknowledging that we men have coerced women into sex, we must realise how this is unacceptable, abusive and oppressive. That is, men must appreciate the emotional and political horror of rape. I don't feel that I've now got everything worked out.