Mistaking their academic career as a sprint rather than a marathon, these students run too strong a race at the beginning, only to stumble and fall as they near the finish line. Believing they have to be perfect, some Tech students never introduce themselves to others they find attractive, fearing that they might make a social blunder and would not be able to bear the assumed embarrassment, humiliation and social rejection. Some Tech students, believing they have to be approved of completely by every person they meet, avoid joining any campus groups or extracurricular activities, anxious that they would not be in a leadership role right from the start, which they tell themselves goes with being perfect. Other MTU students, believing they must always be approved of by those people they see as important to them, never speak up or stand their ground during a disagreement or simple daily conflict. As a result, they invite controlling or exploitive people into their lives, or subtly maneuver their well-meaning friends into taking advantage of them.
Perfectionism is actually one expression of an underlying fear of rejection.
The person who tells him or herself that it is absolutely vital to do everything perfectly inwardly believes that he or she is basically inadequite and unlovable. The self-esteem of the person subscribing to perfectionism is usually quite low. He or she deeply believes that others will automatically reject or criticize him or her unless he or she performs perfectly. If there are no errors or mistakes, there is nothing to reject or criticize. It is important in understanding perfectionism that making an error, being criticized or getting rejected by another person is simply an unfortunate and unpleasant experience.