Most fathers I know wish it were really that easy. But aside from learning the truth about life with children, I have learned that it is absolutely essential to hold onto something from that near-forgotten former life. The most difficult part of childrearing is its relentless nature. This is a demand that Darcy is physically incapable of satisfying and therefore falls to me. I accommodate, but it is only the first in a series of demands by Keiran the Incorrigible that continue until nightfall.
Men wonder why their wives begin to narrate their lives after having children.
Children want continuous running commentary on everything that is going on and the minute you break contact to have a thought of your own, your toddler is tucking into a bar of soap or scaling the stereo cabinet. Have a child and never be alone again. Then do it 900 times in a row. Now nod your head as the motivations of mass murderers start to make more and more sense. This is a luxury we could have done without, but Dylan the Dynamic cannot be stopped.