Let me offer a few hints. You describe having sex with male friends when drinking. Your story also suggests sexual hang-ups. In other words, if you drink to have sex with male friends, one solution is to figure out which males you would enjoy being with and try to make this happen. Your relationship with old friends is likewise a potential double-edged sword.
Old friends are great.
You do enter into relationships. Perhaps your sexual reticence colors all that you do. In other words, you could put yourself in charge of your social-sexual life, which does not seem to be the case now. You seem to be skilled at gathering information and enacting plans. But taking it to the point where you feel taken advantage of suggests passivity, not strength.