Some people are bottomless pits of neediness and we think this means we are in need of closeness. It would be helpful if you are looking at your needs and at how much you are expecting others to fill your needs. It is your job to fill your own needs so that the people who love you can do so out of choice and not your sense that they owe you. I am not syaing you are doing this. I am asking that you look at where you are in this area.
People can make love in so many ways.
I am no expert on sexual function. I think you need to decide what your expectations are for a relationship and look at waht you have versus what you want and what is healthy in a relationship. It is a powerful book about the relationship between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. I am just getting through it and it is a real thought provoker. So is Heart Centered Marriage by Sue Patton Thoele and Enchanted Love by Marianne Williamson.