Chazal have instructed us concerning how to best deal with this nature. The Vilna Gaon explains that attempting to stop an argument by arguing is the same as trying to wash one's face in one's filth. The more one washes, the more he sullies himself. During the divorce process, as in any conflict, adversity only breeds adversity. Barring extreme circumstances and individuals, parties should seek an alternative approach, one which foresees an end to the current turmoil.
Mediation presents such an opportunity.
Shalom , as mentioned above, should be the prime objective in resolving disputes. The Torah is more concerned with restoring social harmony than with arbitrating legal issues. We are advised by Hillel to be of the students of Aaron, not only to love peace, but to pursue peace. Even if peace is not easy, even in the midst of disagreement, even if we may not love or like a person as we used to, peace should still be the goal to which to aspire and pursue. Goals for Our Community For divorcing couples, our community should encourage an alternative course to the one handed to us by the adversarial system.