And between 15 percent and 20 percent of American Jews are thought to face fertility problems. A growing number are choosing adoption. Thirteen percent of Jewish couples who were thinking of having children were considering adoption, according to the study, and more than 165,000 Jewish couples had sought help with adoption. Those numbers are now a decade old, and they are expected to increase when new data is compiled for the National Jewish Population Study 2000. One-quarter of those adopted were born abroad, a percentage that experts say is rising.
Most couples adopt only after years of painful and expensive battles against infertility.
Many find that they encounter ambivalence - within themselves and from their families and communities. Some people who are very secular and non-observant suddenly find themselves having the most cloistered and even chauvinistic ideas of what it is to be Jewish. Yet while the road to adoption is mined with painful experiences, the result for most is joyful. Many find support and encouragement in their Jewish communities. They couldn't have been more supportive.