But people try it, just the same. Forgiving and forgetting doesn't work. And pretending something didn't happen doesn't work, either. Those two things are cheap substitutes for authentic forgiveness. They are ersatz versions of the real thing.
Real forgiveness has to do with recognizing the reality of what has happened.
It involves acknowledging the pain that a mistake or an intentional action has caused. It includes setting things right, as far as possible. And it means restoring the relationship, if that can be done. I want us to take a detailed look at the process of forgiveness and reconciliation. A lot of the time, we try to short-circuit the process, and we miss out on some of the steps.