Most of us model our behavior after some version of our what we saw with our parents or some other significant adult. The first relationship we are faced with is that which occurs between our parents, and the first relationship we have is with our mother. Hence, a great deal of how we relate to women will be based on our relationship with our mother, the type of model our father presented and how we perceived our parents. In addition, our attitudes and values are shaped by our peers. There must have been something that attracted you and your wife to one another.
Marriage is work.
It can be the most frustrating of relationships and the most blissful. It is always a challenge. Since you have not demonstrated your commitment to the marriage, it will be up to you to show that you are serious about the marriage through the actions you take. Your words will not be enough. You must demonstrate your willingness to change.