You can't cheat with God. As you talk about the love of God you see the shell melting. The lay leader teaches that there are two kinds of forgiveness. In two-way forgiveness, the offender confesses to the offended, seeks forgiveness and is pardoned. Then there is unilateral or one-way forgiveness in which you forgive the one who has wronged you, even if he shows no remorse.
Many offenders deny any wrongdoing.
While you may have a right to hate, you deprive yourself of an opportunity to heal if you don't forgive. It eats you up. Many observers felt the church in Rwanda could have done more to prevent the genocide. It is often afraid of tackling critical issues until it is too late. It happens everywhere.