I would give anything if I felt differently and were not putting my family and myself though all of this hell. That is not exactly true, though, I would give almost anything. So maybe all of this crap is worth it after all, if we can make it better for both of us. If so much time has past, i would give your spouse a specific date that something has to change by or its over. I totally agree with you Nancy.
Partners sometimes feel too safe in the relationship.
They feel safe to let their anger, bitterness, and resentment against life and therefore, us, be seen and felt by the other. There comes a time when you must let that partner know it is no longer SAFE, that you are nearing the breaking point in how much you can take. I am not suggesting a definit time for the breaking point, just that we need to let them know that point is fast appraching. My h was treating me very badly for three years. After making excuses for him for a very long time, I realized I could not take it anymore.