The Conference would be the last public speaking engagement for Cathy. Soon after, in a cruel irony, her voice was taken from her as nodes in her throat were irradiated. Though part of me expected never to hear her voice again, she surprised me with continued raspy calls filled more now with resignation than with optimism, but always with a disdainful laugh for this journey we call life. One of the side effects of the drug was skin blemishes. She saw the ridiculousness of her own concern for acne when her life was in the balance.
People often comment to cancer patients that they look good.
Many of us consider our appearance an act of defiance. We stare openly at our mortality and refuse to grant our illness this measure of control. We will not look as sick as we are. We cling to the reflection of ourselves in the mirror. Above all, we want to look well.