Focus on the issues, not on personalities or on the past. Focus on the interests underlying the issues, not on positions. Focus on mutual interests and helping to satisfy the other party's interests as well as your own. Judge options with standards rather than power or leverage. Solutions that satisfy mutual interests are more durable and have significant long term benefit.
Mutual gain is possible.
Decisions based on standards replace the need to rely on power. The importance of following the cycle is twofold. First, it lays out a natural problem solving sequence. Discuss interests based on a written interest statement. Measure the options against the criteria.