I feel a fraud. It's as if I'm still in my mid-teens, which is when my life changed radically, slowly coming to a standstill over the course of a year. This awful diagnosis meant that I had to leave school at the age of fifteen and be mainly bed-bound for years. Now that sounds melodramatic because I am so much improved, and eleven years later M.E. is just something I live with. And I HAVE improved.
Research helps, though.
It is now the focus of international researchers and medical conferences. When you've got it, you've got it. It was frightening, not knowing, especially since none of the doctors could diagnose anything then and I was allergic to all their drugs. Of course the ideal is an early diagnosis and immediate convalescence. Not knowing any better, I pushed myself hard when I first got sick to completely disprove the accusation of 'malinger'.