To cushion us from the succession of blows that follow any major loss. They struggle to find innocent explanations for what has been reported. They refuse to believe that trusted friends - relatives or even strangers could do such a thing to their child. Parents are usually slow to accept they have mistakenly trusted someone who was trustworthy, for acceptance implies that they cannot rely on their own judgement. This is not so.
Most parents trust other adults and think that their families are safe.
Parents do their best to protect their children given their experiences, upbringing and the knowledge available to them at the time. The fact is that most abusers go to great lengths to gain the parents trust. When we feel badly about ourselves, another defence mechanism is to find a scapegoat. Sometimes, as a way of coping with the stress of the event, parents blame the other partner or the child for letting the abuse happen. Blame is futile, the important thing is to help each other to be strong for the sake of the child.