Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office. Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day. Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest. Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot. Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.
Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school.