Several previously enthusiastic health-care professionals turned evasive when discussing the need for men s support. Frank McGrath, psychologist and director of Hillhurst Counselling Centre, offers this insight. Most men who are horribly abusive think they are abused. It s critical to distinguish between blaming and who is really abusive. They ll say things like, She was hurting my feelings and that s why I threw her down the stairs.
Most men feel they are emotionally abused.
The key element, he says, is fear. It s crucial to distinguish between the frightened man and the blaming man. But that still does not justify hurting her back. Chris Berry of the Men s Domestic Conflict Help Line helps broaden the view. It s abuse if you continually feel disrespected, if you continually feel put down and devalued.