Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair. Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class. Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders. Master teachers can eat faster than that. Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.
Real teachers volunteer for hall duty on days faculty meetings are scheduled.
Real teachers never teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders. Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission. Real teachers know the best end of semester lesson plans can come from Blockbuster. Real teachers never take grades after Wednesday of the last week of the six weeks. Real teachers never assign research papers on the last six weeks or essays on final exams.