Both partners will react in order to bring the relationship back into stability. These reactions may be very maladaptive and inappropriate, causing more strife in the relationship. When people are not able to verbalize this kind of expression clearly, then they will opt to manipulation. Being manipulative in order to fulfill needs, creates alienation and distrust in the other partner and the relationship will ultimately be threatened. It seems that not only is reciprocity and confirmation important in a relationship but so is mutual problem solving and commitment.
Reciprocity is necessary in a relationship if it is to grow and mature.
Once a couple enters the real nits and grits of relating, in which family history arises and enmeshment is possible, they will need that reciprocity in problem solving areas in order to facilitate the growth of their relationship to more stable stages. I think most young people today entering into relation-ships have not been exposed to healthy elements of relationship making. They also bring their family history with them. They may be trying to get needs satisfied with one another that were never satisfied in their own family of origin. If they are not clear and straight with these needs, then they will try to get them met symbolically by indirect ways.