You have not 'failed' if you or your partner has not had an orgasm. When the penis and the clitoris are sufficiently stimulated, orgasm will occur. An orgasm consists of a series of muscular contractions in the sex organs. These are felt as a throbbing or pulsating sensation, which spreads through the whole body, causing a feeling of intense pleasure followed by one of relaxation. At the moment of the man's peak excitement, semen will come out of his penis.
Most women can reach orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris alone.
Very few can reach it without the clitoris being aroused. Women also have orgasms through vaginal stimulation. One partner may reach orgasm before the other and orgasm may not occur every time you have sex. The brain plays as much a part in our sexual lives as our bodies. This explains how our thoughts and feelings, fantasies and desires contribute to our sexual excitement.