They may have no choice. They may feel they have nothing to give the child themselves by active mothering, so they give up their child to the possibility of a good life, pe rhaps a better life than they had. Coming To The Decision Decision to Adopt . With women who become mothers through adoption, the decision to have a child is made years before the decision to adopt. Pregnancy and birth are given another place - not a second place, but a different place.
Most women come to adoption through various set-backs in having their own child.
The women talk of their grief and disappointment and of coming to terms with not being able, for whatever reason, to birth their child. The decision to adopt, to bring any child into the place of my child is a big one. It is the decision to make a child my own child. Decision to Place . The reality of the placing mother is the disparity between the picture of what she wants for her child and what she can give her child.