This was a remarkable, transformational event. I could decide to make my divorce the center of my life, or I could shake it off with no more concern than a stubbed toe. It was up to me. From this experience I gained one of the greatest gifts in my life, and there have been many, many. Our society is obsessed with the idea that we have no control over ourselves.
Murderers have a murderer gene.
Rapists are the victims. You simply cannot watch one single movie or TV show where you are not asked to have sympathy for the criminal. Even in the Church we are regularly told we cannot control how we feel, or what we think. Often we are told we cannot help what we do. All of this is wrong.