A strong self image helps a child feel BOTH lovable and capable. A child's self esteem is strongest when parents nurture BOTH love ability and capability. You help a child feel lovable by praising things that are intrinsic or unique to your child's personality, like his sense of humor, friendliness, persistence, or creativity. Feeling capable means that the child feels strong and competent, and proud of his or her ability to do or achieve things. Teach him how and why he is unique.
Praise is only valuable when it is genuine and descriptive.
Use meaningful praise that describes what you notice, like, or approve. When children are allowed to do as many things for themselves as possible, they feel proud and competent. Ms. Petersen's nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week.