His wife, Anne, had been the outgoing member of their marriage. Not only was he suffering her loss, but also Anne had acted as social organizer and catalyst for conversation when they were with other people. When I asked Lyle how he spent his time on planes he said he buried his head in paperwork so he wouldn't have to talk to the person next to him. From now on, every time you're sitting next to someone on a plane, you're to talk to them for ten minutes. You'll learn to ask questions.
Most people like to talk about themselves.
Just think of it as adding to your stockpile of information. Take it slowly, and if they give cues that they don't want to talk, just let it go. But I think you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be. And once you get good at that, you'll find it flows over naturally into other social occasions. At our next meeting Lyle was beaming.