Increase load times by gorging the site with huge graphics and animated images. The last thing you want are any of those primitive dial-up modem users coming to your site. One dancing Quake guy is cute and may make people come back to your page, but 75 of the little buggers all dancing in unison and pushing your page size up over 300,000 bytes will keep those icky modem users at arm's length. This also has the added advantage of distracting people from the fact that you have no real content. Popup quizzes that make no sense and are really irritating are also great.
Nothing can ruin a web page like formatting.
You need to communicate that your guests of your gaming greatness and that they should hang on your every word, so you don't want it to look like you spend all your time making things nice and neat. That's for people who don't spend their time kicking ass on online games. Here's a few suggestions to get you started, along with links to REAL wanker web pages to give you good examples. Use HUGE text, at least 24 point font. As has been said before, your page should be legible from across the room or from a stationary orbit high over the planet.