But the point is, I learned a great deal about why one should not make rash resolutions just by making that one. We do, indeed, learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. And if that is true, judging just by the hundreds of absurd resolutions I ve made over the past few decades, I believe you d have to agree that my hard drive is chock full of billions of megabytes of useless information by now. I firmly resolve never to use the word chad again, either in the hanging, dangling, dimpled, pregnant, or deeply emotionally traumatized sense. I resolve to never again refer to the voters of Florida s Palm Beach County as perfect morons.
Nobody s perfect.
I resolve to refrain from commenting on just how inordinately long it is taking that nitwit Alec Baldwin to keep his word, pack his little wife and his little bags and head for Cameroon following Bush s election. I resolve never to use the punch line but Gore demanded a recount when referring to things like previous Iron Bowl games, Time s Man of the Year selections, or the most recent Dow Jones market loss. And most importantly, I resolve to never, ever again wax sentimental about White Christmases, just like the ones I used to know. That is because I was raised in Michigan, in the middle of White Christmas country. And while I remember all of the fun winter stuff, the recent cold snap in Alabama has brought to mind the other side of that White Christmas coin.