When possible, I attend his preschool ceremonies and struggle mightily to coordinate 4 year old kid games at his birthday party. Most nights, I end up putting him to bed. Despite all this, I am not his primary parent-the parent with whom he has established his primary emotional bond. That distinction goes to his mother. His mother, after all, nursed him through his first year of life, stayed home to nurture him through toddlerhood and beyond, and remains more available to share his time as a preschooler.
Marriage is, after all, a union of equals.
That includes equal responsibilities in child rearing and equal rights to emotional primacy with the children. True Parenting Equality For fathers, being an equal parent means having the right to establish a primary emotional relationship with his child. If the mother nurses, the father still has the right to bottle feed one half of the time. Parenting equality means equal opportunity for the father to spend time with, shop for, play with, feed, bathe, and diaper his child. It means giving him the time, skills and knowledge to develop his abilities as a nurturer.