After exploring the past, come up with a plan, a possible budget and short and long-term goals for saving and spending. This could begin the process of building the trust necessary to proceed down the marital path. If using these suggestions brings up heated arguments that do not resolve, consult a counselor for couples' work focused on resolving your differences. Also consider the benefit that consultation with a financial planner might provide. Take it slowly and pay serious attention to developing trust along the lines of agreed on goals you can achieve together.
Power struggles over money are about power and control.
Intimacy is based on working out solutions through relating, not controlling your partner. Solving problems through relating is based on trust and love. Seeking control as an answer to problems is rooted in fear and intimidation. Return to Previous Page Gayle Peterson, MSSW, LCSW, PhD is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development. Her articles on family relationships appear in professional journals and she is an oft-quoted expert in popular magazines such as Woman's Day , Mothering and Parenting .