All children act in annoying, obnoxious, or hurtful ways at times, and they don't always cooperate with our requests. Before dealing with inappropriate behavior in children, it is useful to know why they act the way they do. Once we know this, it is easier to be effective problem-solvers. Almost all unacceptable behavior in children can be explained by one of the following three factors. Children have many needs that are not always met, even with the best of parenting.
Obvious needs are for food, clothing, shelter, and love.
Additional needs are for physical closeness, individual attention, an intellectually stimulating environment, meaningful activities, and respect. When children's needs are not filled, they do whatever will get our attention. A child who is hungry for dinner may slap repeatedly at the newspaper father is reading to get his attention. A child who is feeling bored waiting in line at the bank or post office may begin to provide more interesting stimulation for himself by running around. It is unrealistic to expect young children to behave well when they are hungry or bored.