The Serpent told them they would NOT die, but become like God, who admitted this in Genesis, I,22. Since the Bible is the story of Adam and Eve and their descendants and their special relationship with Yaweh, it follows that this is NOT the story of the REST of us. Not being born into sin, we have no need of salvation, and neither Heaven or Hell is our destination in the afterlife. A SubGenius must have this above all other things. You all were born with Original Slack.
Primitive gods demand sacrificial victims.
Disturbingly, the word Holocaust means just that, a blood sacrifice. Ask about how YOU can get YOUR ticket, even more exclusive than a Burning Man ticket.