I think anger is a message that something is threatening us and we feel helpless. Conflict is not the threat, although how we handle it can be. It can be either energizing or debilitating. Conflict can be a significant teacher. Through it we may come to reconciliation.
Reconciliation is the bringing together of that which has been sundered, set apart.
First we need to understand that there is often a deep fear of exposing differences and admitting conflict. The admission of differences and conflict in a relationship often shakes our comfortable assumptions. A common response to feeling hurt, rejected, or ignored is to continue in an uncomfortable denial, doggedly proceeding without resolution, smothering feelings, seeking to make things right by being nice. Often we peace people are so disturbed at being angry that we refuse to acknowledge conflict and try to appease. It does not work.