Being in recovery means being honest with ourselves about who we really are and acceptiing that. We learn who we really are by acknowledging and expressing our true feelings. If we attempt to hide them or fail to express them fully, we hide our identity and rob ourselves of our human-ness. We do much the same damage when we do not allow ourselves to feel grief and our other emotions. The closeness and directness of continued contact often becomes unbearable.
People find ways to dillute it, to avoid it.
Sometimes one party owns one while the other owns the other. Often, we trade partners as the dance continues. Expressing and sharing our joys comes much more naturally. To be truly intimate, however, we must also voice our fears and resentments. We have to share our inner turmoil.