When I spoke to parent groups, mothers would nod and smile and fathers would sit with crossed arms and question marks on their faces. One father came up to me after a presentation and told me about his son who had won all kinds of awards as a scholar at Stanford University, but he, too, was certain his son wasn't gifted. That was when the light bulb went on for me. I realized that mothers and fathers were defining giftedness differently. The more I thought about it, the clearer it seemed that the male writers in the field tended to view giftedness very much like the fathers I had run across and most female writers seemed to share the perspective of the mothers.
Men equate giftedness with achievement.
If a Mom sees that her daughter is asking names of objects at 11 months, and memorizing books at 17 months, and asking complex questions before she's two years old, she gets very anxious. I don't want them to think I'm another 'pushy parent'. Developing faster than other children makes a child vulnerable, and mothers are keenly aware of this vulnerability. The eminent child in school is the winner of the competition for grades and awards. And the child is expected to keep up the hard work throughout life, performing, producing, achieving.