Teens will test their environment. They will practice their social skills. They flirt, date, send messages out to other teens around them and adjust to the messages they receive back. The differences in the messages a teen receives from the environment versus the family during the time of differentiation are critical. The first step in a child's security is the clarity and honesty parents have of who they are and who their children are.
Parents teach cultural identity to their kids.
The gap between a cultural identity taught by parents, and the cultural identity learned through the interaction with environment during teen years, can be the source of much insecurity and pain. The narrower the gap, the greater the potential for security and stability. The wider the gap, the greater the potential for culture shock when he or she returns to the culture the parents called home. Some kids are able to withstand greater shocks than others. Here are ways I have found that parents can either close the identity gap, or strengthen their child to deal with the gap.