Tragically, one of her identical twin boys died over two years ago when a child's dresser fell on top of him. After the accident, Lucas wouldn't eat or sleep, and he constantly searched in rooms and under beds for his twin. You can do this by displaying some photographs of the deceased child around the house, and talking about your family's loss when occasions arise, such as while looking in a family photo album. Be careful not to create a shrine for idealizing the deceased, and avoid comparing the survivor and the deceased. Around age 2 or 3, children may wonder why a sibling died, and as they grow, they may blame themselves.
Professional counseling can also help.
You can find a therapist through your local hospital, a professional mental health organization or a bereavement group. A counselor can also help if you are having marriage difficulties, as often happens following a loss of a child. Men and women mourn differently, say the experts, and not understanding each other's differences can pull couples apart. When Pam and Jim Schachter, of Summit, New Jersey, lost their twin daughter, Leah, Jim postponed his grief while taking care of Pam. All rights reserved.