To be an effective family leader a father needs, first of all, to develop goals. He must decide what his goals are for his children's education, for their character development, for their financial situation when he releases them, for their future spouses. He must set goals for the running of his household year by year, week by week, and day by day. He is the one who is designed to stand before his family with his finger pointing out the direction they all need to go. Secondly, a father needs to take initiative.
Most men tend to be reactive rather than proactive.
We will solve a problem if our wives set it in our laps. We should instead be the ones looking ahead for problems and planning what is best for the family welfare. A leader makes things happen, he doesn't wait for them to happen. Thirdly, to be an effective family leader, a father must accept the burden of making decisions. Making decisions he can be held accountable for may be distasteful to a father, but it is the essence of leadership.