You are getting old when your back goes out more often than you do. The trouble with opportunity is that it's always more recognizable going than coming. The perfect age is when children are too old to cry at night and too young to borrow the car. Neurotics build air castles. Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent.
A pun is a form of humor that causes everyone to groan and is meant to punish the hearers. The loudest snorer is always the first one to get to sleep. Social tact is making your company feel at home even though you wish they were. Smoking a cigarette won't send you to hell. It just makes you smell like you've been there.