The idea is to add a bit of fuel, pump the bellows so it's well alight, add more, pump more and so on. Put the final ration of fuel in and shut the lid. Pump every now and again when using it and refuel as necessary. Sometimes it helps to stir or pierce the fuel with a hive tool to ensure an airflow. When you want to put it out lay it on its side and put a cork in the nozzle.
Needles are easier to find in a small haystack.
Go looking for queens when there are fewer bees, in the spring or when most are out foraging in the middle of the day. Move the colony and in its place put a spare box, or the supers, and fly off most of the adult bees. Then go and find the queen in the 'nuc'.