There is a great deal of promise in this thread. Unfortunately I'm about to unplug my computer, and put it in a box for a week. I'll miss alot. Steve, you have challenged some of the basic definitions in memetics, and given that these terms already have established meanings, it probably isn't useful to go changing them.
Memes are parasitic.
They often benefit us and improve not only our ability to survive but they make possible many of the things which are most important to us. Language is one example. Other memes however are counterproductive, destructive, and even deadly. We do not choose them. We get programmed with them in a variety of ways.