It's a movie in which we experience what others felt in response to our treatment of them. While watching the movie of our lives, we feel from the inside out what it was like to be the recipient of our own attitudes and actions. We also feel what it was like to be the people who loved us and harmed us. It is the ultimate experience in mutual empathy. The only drawback about putting all this resolution work off until we die means that we miss out on experiencing the joy, freedom, and healing that comes from doing this work sooner rather than later.
Many people choose to park unresolved, painful experiences in some part of their body.
This can then cause the demise of that part of their body. This can get so bad that sometimes the wear and tear can cause us to get sick and die. Frederick Buechner in his book, Telling Secrets , has written one of the best explanations for why doing memory work matters as much as it does. After his teenage daughter nearly died from her anorexia, Buechner finally began to come to terms with how his father's suicide had impacted his life. Buechner learned first-hand that once you adopt the practice of burying painful experiences, pretending they have had no impact on your life, dealing courageously and honestly with all those that follow is almost impossible.