The nanny should never allow it. The mother looked so relieved. It's part of my job, as I see it, to reinforce and support the family, and focusing the child on an absent parent's love is a natural part of that. A child realizes quickly who the parent is, but parents don't necessarily get over it that quickly a second child may make the difference. Most nannies make it a point to reinforce the parent's role She's coming home soon, see her car, we're excited to see Mommy, and make a show when she comes into the house.
Mature nannies are pretty savvy.
They ll say gently, I'm your nanny, not your mom. They don't want that confusion or the accompanying guilt. They re very objective about their job. Actually, if a child is not attached to Nanny, Nanny's doing something wrong. It s not meant to replace the parent, but a child knows, this is the person who is with me all day.