Parents have a potential for both rational, realistic thinking and irrational, unrealistic thinking. They are fallible and must accept themselves as creatures who will continue to make mistakes yet at the same time learn to live more at peace with themselves, as parents, and with their children. Parents condition themselves to feel unbalanced and helpless. Parents have the capacity to change their cognitive, emotive, and behavioral processes. They can choose to react differently from their usual patterns, refuse to allow themselves to become upset, and train themselves so that they can eventually remain minimally disturbed for the rest of their life.
Parents actively reinforce false beliefs by the processes of autosuggestion and self-repetition.
Blame is the core of most emotional disturbances. They need to learn to accept themselves in spite of their imperfections. I am too irresponsible and too immature and so I must be a rotten parents and deserve to suffer this anxiety. Parents do not need to be loved or accepted by their children and others. While this is desirable, it is not necessary.