I really appreciate his honesty in saying that the field had a dreadful record of saving marriages and he sought to do better. So, turn on your giver. You trust that he loves you, but gets too angry and doesn't know how it hurts you. Use the power of that poorly expressed love. A derailed locomotive still has a lot of power.
Nothing is gained in fighting except that more is learned in pain than in pleasure.
Pain is pleasure resisted. Do you remember when you are hurting that you analyse every little thing to find out what went wrong, how it happened etc. You expel so much energy in working and dwelling on the hurt and pain you feel and forget about the good times. It only over time when the pain has gone and our partner has left that we only look at the good times. Analyse the good days and find out what happened and dwell on that.