I think you learn who are genuine friends and family. Several people have found that helping others is a big part of their recovery. Most of it deals with genetic counseling and education. My husband has VHL and he seems to be in denial. We just found out this year, and he has had all the screening done, but he doesn't seem to pay much attention to the results.
Men are uncomfortable with emotion.
But they love to DO something. Talking, for most men, is awkward. For example, having him talk to an expert using diagrams or other graphics or models, illustrating how the disease process works. It takes a while to absorb all this new information, to adjust and cope. I am not surprised at his reaction.