They eat Twinkies. And Szechwan food. Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If they are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
Real Programmers can take the scissors off the phone cord.
Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport which requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and Real Programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the computer room. Real Programmers don't do documentation. Documentation is for simps who can't figure out the listing. Strong typing is for people with weak memories.