The most important relationship you will ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. You must get right with you first before you will ever have a chance of being successful in a relationship with someone else. At the present time, you seem to be motivated by the safety of avoidance rather than the fulfillment of companionship. Ask yourself what you're so afraid of. And more importantly, answer the question.
Monsters live in the dark.
If you will get real about what you're afraid of, you will find that it's not nearly as bad as you thought it was. I always knew that I was, but never knew what to do about it. Now that I have tried to change things, I feel like I'm being walked all over. I know that I want us to be able to reach the medium of give and take, but I don't know where to start. Require that standard in all your relationships but stop short of exercising your individual editorial preference on everything.