This process is neither reliance on concensus-building, nor a resort to being autocratic. A self-differentiated leader promotes healthy differentiation in others. The project leader calls to the community for input, requiring from others clearly stated responses that include both end-use and technical concerns. Specific deadlines are attached to specific requests for input. Post results to a web site to let the seul-edu community and others know about it.
Project leaders stay focused on their vision and the process.
They aren't trying to make everyone happy. Their own feeling states are not central to their goals. It is the recursive open source process, working through differentiated leadership, which keeps the whole thing focused, productive and honest. Positive criticism can strengthen both working relationships and the project. Intense criticism is a manifestation of dependency.