But there are less obvious danger signals too, and these often involve lack of energy or interest in the world. A child with high self-esteem is curious, eager to know, and confident of her ability to understand. One who gives away little personal information may just be reserved - but may feel she has nothing of interest to say. A child who cries frequently when faced with new or difficult tasks is likely to anticipate her own failure and be anxious about her own abilities. One who acts impulsively, or behaves inconsistently, may believe she has no control over the outcome of her actions.
Parents can help.
First, they can listen, key into what the child says, and accept her own statements about how she feels and what she thinks. Acceptance of her own emotions, and awareness of her parents' genuine wish to understand are important foundations of self-esteem. Secondly, parents can ease anxiety about performance by showing the child that she does have power to extend her skills and knowledge. The important message is that one's abilities and behaviour can improve with effort. The first replies show a belief in failure as permanent and inevitable.