Dr. Menahem, I want to thank you for taking the time to share your wise and gentle perspective on what I believe is often a very complicated and difficult issue for many people, that of forgiveness. It is my pleasure to share my thoughts on this difficult and highly charged topic. It has been my experience that many people have trouble letting go of old grudges, even when they realize it is hurting them more than the other person. Much of my work is centered on helping people to let go and forgive.
Most people are much too hard on themselves.
They have bought into our cultural madness of competition and success. They feel that they are only as good as what they do and how much money they make from it. If their parents were conditional with their love, critical and controlling, the problem is even worse. Behavioral perfection is then substituted for spontaneity and conformity replaces individuality. Most people are sensitive to minor slights or hurts.