Verbal messages share feelings more directly. An effective way to share our feelings is to use I-statements. I-statements describe a thought, feeling, or other experience in the first person singular. Feelings expressed as You-statements, on the other hand, are characterized by blaming and lack of ownership. It's easy and natural to lash out at others, get even, blow off steam and yell or hit things.
Most research suggests relationships benefit when negative emotions are expressed helpfully.
Check out the time of day, distractions, noise, privacy, outside pressures, etc. Intense feelings will interfere in ways you may not even recognize. Therefore, you will need to find out where you are emotionally. You need to go and vent your feelings first if they are strong enough to get in the way. Ask yourself whether your partner is defensive, preoccupied, tired or overworked.