As selective memory matures, good times or justified discipline will be remembered and hurts will be forgotten. A person can select what he or she wants to remember. One can savor words or memories whether positive or negative. We sometimes remind ourselves not to hang on to negative experiences. Adults may hang on to something said to them 10 years ago.
Offensive words can only echo in one's ears if a person listens.
She told me how badly she was hurt from untruths in the letter. She also said she got the letter out and read it every once in a while. People have the choice to listen to positive or negative reinforcement. What someone says is his or her responsibility. What we decide to remember is ours.