When parents begin to have faith that their children can behave in a responsible way, while allowing them to do so, the children will assume their own responsibilities. Over-responsible parents often produce irresponsible children. Parents who take on the responsibility of the child by reminding or doing for him, encourage the child to be irresponsible. Distinguish between positive and negative attention if you want to influence children's behavior. Feeling unable to gain positive attention, and regarding indifference as intolerable, children resort to activities which get them negative attention.
Negative attention is the evidence that they have succeeded in accomplishing their goal.
Understand the child's goal. Every action of a child has a purpose. His basic aim is to have significance and his place in the group. A well-adjusted child has found his way toward social acceptance by cooperating with the requirements of the group and by making his own useful contribution to it. The misbehaving child is still trying, in a mistaken way, to feel important in his own world.