Evaluating Consider the following exchange. This is stupid and spineless. The effect of the conversation is to create a guilt trip. The child will not come back to his or her father with another problem. The child feels unaccepted and unvalued.
People join gangs because they are accepted by the members.
The above four items get in the way of acceptance. Consider this exchange. At this point, you can ask clarifying , not probing questions. Later, it may be okay to ask probing questions. It's probably never appropriate to use interpretation or evaluation during the communication process.