In recent months, I have been experiencing a transition in how I approach the conflict between these two aspects of my personality. What follows is an honest account of what has been happening in my life as I seek to live my faith with honesty and integrity. When I first began to deal with my sexuality, I believed that if certain things in my life changed, my sexuality would also. I knew that I might always experience some degree of temptation, but believed the core of my sexuality would be altered. In many ways, this has not happened.
Many good things have.
I have been blessed with significant healing in my emotions, my character and relationships. I have been challenged and have grown spiritually through facing this difficult aspect of my life. However, I haven't observed a great deal of change in the core of my sexuality. Several months ago, I realized that I was angry at God about this. I had worked at this, doing all I knew to conform more to who I believed God created me to be and trusting Him to change the things I couldn't.