General deterrence seeing others get nailed doesn t work with these guys. What works is what happens to them personally. As he strongly believes, do treatment programs. Bonnie Agnew suggests that, in numerous ways, all of us, as friends and neighbors, need to maintain vigilance on a daily basis. Men should make a point of finding out whether their male friends are beating their wives, she says, and Allan Sheps agrees.
Men don t talk to one another enough about their feelings toward the women in their lives.
As well, says Agnew, Neighbors can know and do know. They can put two and two together, and they must intervene. We all underestimate, adds Lakeman, the power that public censure can have right after the event. Whatever else we do, we should be withdrawing prestige and status from these men. Women must also force themselves to stop believing the seemingly heartfelt apologies of the serial batterer s inevitable contrition phase, Dutton says.