Others aren't so lucky. Some women attempt to lovingly educate their husbands, or encourage them to read the literature concerning unassisted birth. If that approach doesn't work, some women acquiesce to their husband's desires and hire a midwife or go to the hospital. There are women, however, who simply proceed with their plans for an unassisted birth, either enlisting the help of family and friends, or giving birth alone. Often, however, a non-supportive husband is simply mirroring his wife's unresolved fears.
Many women find that as they work through their own fears, their husbands start to come around.
Nine months is a long time, and many husbands who start out fearful, end up being enthusiastic about unassisted birth by the time the baby arrives. Most of the emotional problems women encounter in labor are due to fear. The other reason birth can be emotionally draining stems from the fact that laboring women are often told to go against their instincts. They may be told to lie down when they really feel like walking, or they may be forced to submit to numerous tests and examinations when they really want to be left alone. When a woman is at home with only her husband, she is in charge of her labor.