One monument of this campus that has been the bane of every pledge with a paintbrush has to be the Senior Bench. Rumored to have over 60 coats of paint that can only be removed with a chain saw or a shark with a frikin' laser beam in its head, one source informed us that this beloved symbol was originally made of recycled plastic and rubber edging. Now it is probably strong enough to survive an ensuing nuclear fallout. In any event, it's a good place to stop with a girl on your way back from an all-campus party. Just be sure the paint is dry, unless you'd rather not see her again.
Nobody likes paint on their back.
Many Phi Delts and I-House dwellers may not know what we're talking about, but anyone who has set foot in the library has seen this wonder before. Although aesthetically pleasing, Eli's head has another, more important function. An interview with President Ford at Tommy's revealed that the interior of the head contains a .357 Magnum with hollow-point ammo. Part of the library's budget was allotted to purchase this after the recent rash of library vandalism. Sooner or later.