The most effective way to behave is to accommodate all styles. It's an approach that's sensitive to emotion and unconcerned about whether everything makes perfect sense. Evolution seems to explain the difference. We're all schooled from birth to distinguish warm, safe things from cold, threatening things. It's always on duty, spontaneously evaluating each situation and personal interaction for threat or safety.
Men seem particularly geared toward recognizing and responding to threat.
They orient their style toward controlling their environment and dominating events perceived as threatening. Courtesy of testosterone, men focus their most pronounced distinguishing characteristic, physical strength, on external challenges. As adults, they've been further socialized to exercise and communicate control. If the rules change from one situation to another, they can't tell who's winning or measure accomplishments and expertise. And if they collaborate, they won't know who's strongest.