Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely. No matter which side of the door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side. Once, I thought I was wrong - but I was mistaken. We must look busy. Open your ears before your mouth.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs built the Ark. Roses smell better than onions but make bad soup. Secrecy at my job prevents me from knowing what I do. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Since I've used all of my sick days, I'm calling in dead.