But using these reference points as a way to build self-esteem is not smart, because it makes you dependent. Plus, it's human nature to compare yourself to people either steps above or below you, depending on your ego need of that day. It's pointless really. Better to come up with your own measures of who you are and how you're doing. Stop setting yourself up and start making life easy on you.
Many people do.
They either need the stress to create adrenaline or they think peace and boredom is a bad thing. There are probably a couple of people, projects, activities, goals or shoulds. Pick one of these and take it down several more levels and come to understand what motivated you in the first place to set yourself up. Get to know that part of yourself really well. Because to become really Attractive, you'll need to make peace with it and come to respect it as a very powerful force in your life instead of trying to control it and spending your time dealing with the problems that it will create for you for a very long time.