Don t minimize what happened. Saying At least you weren t killed does not help the survivor. All sexual abuse is serious, even if the abuse occurred only once or if it never went beyond fondling. All sexual abuse is a violation of God s law. Don t imply that the survivor is to blame for the abuse.
Nothing is justification for abuse.
Don t excuse the abuser. Whatever the abuser s problems, they are never a mandate for abuse. Don t react with visible shock, horror, or disgust. Don t be afraid of anger and grief. Such feelings will be intense.