Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck. Real programmers don't write in Pascal, or Bliss, or Ada, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories. Real programmers know better than the users what they need.
Real programmers think structured programming is a communist plot.
Real programmers don't use schedules. Schedules are for manager's toadies. Real programmers like to keep their manager in suspense. Real programmers think better when playing adventure. Real programmers don't use APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line.