When we first meet narcissistic people, we are drawn to them. We often experience them as independent, well put together and articulate. At the first sign of such a threat, the narcissist will become irritated or enraged, taking personally even the most innocent of slights. Recovery, however, comes easily and fast. As soon as the narcissist regains his or her footing, he or she will begin to draw people back into favor.
Narcissists are generally highly charismatic people, and they move easily into positions of power.
However, they are really terrified, defenseless people who depend on the favor of others to create an illusion of self-esteem. Terrified people in positions of power, of course, are dangerous. We see them in the political figure who lies and distorts, the teacher who insists that students adopt his or her system of beliefs, and the therapist who abuses power and exploits the trust of clients. Personality disorders show up when people are possessed by negative character traits, rigidly and inflexibly arrested in the capacity to learn and to grow. Daphne Stevens, Ph.D., LCSW, is a psychotherapist who lives and works in Macon.