They wanted a new way heathenize everyone. Mr. Pibb was the solution. I have found that the only thing that can counteract the effects of Mr. Pibb is a good, cold Dr Pepper. However, this is only effective if applied immediately after ingesting, touching, smelling, or looking at the Mr. Pibb. Otherwise, the results can be tragic.
Paralysis is the most common effect.
It is also important to note that scientific studies have proven that Dr. Pepper and Mr Pibb naturally repel each other. I hope that through reading this you have been able to have a better grasp of the dangers of drinking Mr. Pibb, the short-fallings of most softdrinks, and the pure dominance of the one and only Dr. Pepper. Please remember to write your congressman and lobby for Dr. Pepper and against Mr. Pibb. Fellow Americans, I thank you for your time and support.