Humor Now that I'm married, fat and middle-aged, I've finally figured out how to meet women. It's too late for me to use this information, but not for you lonely guys out there. You can't face the bar scene and compete with fraternity boys, and meeting babes on the Internet hasn't really panned out either. I say give it up and bake a pie.
Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven.
I'm going to show you how to make a pie and maybe meet a woman in the process. I don't make crust, neither did my mother. She uses lard in her crust, and it's worth bypass surgery just to have a second helping. But going to the trouble of rolling out crust from scratch in this instance will defeat your purpose. Instead, go to a large supermarket.