I know about depression, anger and fear created by the disease. It is my constant enemy but it has also become a teacher. My lymphoma began a long time before the diagnosis, perhaps years. Anyone could have my lymphoma right now and not know it. We don't know what causes it, so prevention is not directly possible.
Good health is an illusion and outside our direct control.
The abyss is deeper than I ever could have imagined. I weathered 3 divorces, unemployment and Mom's death prior to my diagnosis. I felt a lot of pain in my 48 years, but nothing prepared me for a life threatening illness that brought me face to face with death. The 24 hours after the diagnosis was the worst day of my life. Alone in the hospital room that first night, I could find no emotional relief, nothing to hold on to.