In this approach there are no bad feelings, there are only bad actions. A big part of counseling is teaching people to make that distinction. In fact, the more people can acknowledge their feelings, the less they need to blindly act them out. And to encourage the new skills and all the little moments of honesty that help a person toward a deeper truthfulness. There s a direct link between skill and awareness at work here.
People are reluctant to acknowledge problems they feel they can t do anything about.
As counseling conversations help a person to feel more confident about being able to talk things over and talk things out, a person may become more willing to face and confront conflicts and problems. As we realize that the counselor accepts us warts and all, clumsy coping maneuvers and all, we start to accept ourselves more. We are not angels and we are not devils. We are just ordinary human beings trying to figure how to get through life. There is a lot of trial and error along the way and that is nothing to be ashamed of.