As well as shock, grief or numbness, people often feel guilt or anger. The feelings can be numerous and contradictory and emerge when least expected. It is often this that causes confusion and distress. We may think we hear, see or even smell the mother or father we have lost, or be reminded of them at unpredictable moments. All this can be alarming and lead us to question our sanity, but for most of us these experiences will pass in time.
Many people feel lost after the death of a mother or father.
Suddenly finding ourselves feeling like an abandoned child, even though we are adults with jobs, families and lives of our own, can be one of the more surprising features of the grief we experience. The death of a parent can bring home the inevitability of our own death, and perhaps make it seem nearer than it was before. The balance of generations changes. While our parents were alive, we could assume that we probably had plenty of life ahead. Other relationships are affected too If we have children, we may have to cope with their questions and reactions to the loss of a grandparent, as well as our own grief.