It is his fingers, his penis, his actions, his choice. We must hold the offender accountable, and expect others to do the same. Rape is an intentional act, an act against our will, without our consent. If something is with our consent it means we want it, we agree to it, we are willing, it is mutual. The reality, however, is that the overwhelming majority of sexual assaults do not result in serious bodily injury or involve weapons.
Offenders have other means at their disposal to intimidate.
The offender takes advantage of some power imbalance, such as age, size, strength, development, knowledge, status, etc. to humiliate, violate and control the victim. Sexual assault is the most committed, and least reported of all violent crime. Rape crisis centers report that only 1 in 100 of the people they work with report to law enforcement. Because victims are blamed and offenders excused, many survivors are hesitant to disclose or to even believe what happened to them was a crime. It is an unfortunate fact that in the aftermath of sexual assault, survivors and their loved ones believe many of the myths outlined above.