Then there are the wannabes, those who hang out around the popular clique, seeking even temporary membership. And finally, there is a small group of true outsiders, isolated kids who eat alone in the lunchroom and risk the lowest self-esteem. Shannon Valley would disagree that some kids are totally alone. Virtually everyone will belong to a group eventually, she says. There are the preps, the cheerleaders, the goths, punks, ravers, gay cliques, racial cliques, the freaks, headbangers, the smart cliques, the whole bohemian type.
Nobody is totally alone.
Being popular usually involves different traits for boys and girls. The number one requirement for young boys is athletic ability, Patricia Adler says. And there is a coolness, a toughness, a need to model this macho masculinity to prove themselves. The breakout mirrors traditional gender roles, she says. Men are socialized to achieve, and girls to catch a man.