As well, try to structure the process so that there is sufficient time between sessions for the parties to think about and assimilate the information. Explain why you prefer the use of that language to clients when either of them use those words. In difficult cases, the family hierarchy breaks down and the parents will often triangulate or form alliances with the children. Children will often say what they sense a parent wants to hear. Adult children are also strongly affected by parental divorce.
Parents tend to functionally neglect children in divorce.
How parents parent is often more a reflection of spousal relationship than a response to childrens' needs, e.g., if one parent is strict, other is likely to overcompensate by being permissive.