Its purpose is really to ask questions, satisfy curiousity. If you have a problem, talk about it. But there's a way to work through this step positively. You don't attack your partner. John and Julie Gottman, who actually study marriage as a science, force feuding couples they counsel to cool off.
Many couples are afraid to fight.
They believe their anger is bad. But, the Gottmans say suppressed anger is extremely corrosive, and can even cause ulcers and cancer. The trick is getting it out without harming the marriage. Building a life together. Building a future together.