If someone puts you down, they have a big dipper in your bucket. That bucket refills slowly. It takes about ten positive dips to repair the damage of one negative dip. Many unhappy families have bucket and dipper problems. Spouses can't seem to say anything good about each other.
Parents criticize and belittle children.
Strong families have learned how to keep each others buckets filled with appreciation and affection. As a pebble dropped in a pond causes ripples all around, so pebbles of appreciation cause ripples that carry into other facets of life. Strong families have learned that appreciation helps family members grow and flourish as self-esteem is boosted. Appreciation helps to keep the atmosphere pleasant and positive. We all prefer to spend time with people who make us feel good about ourselves.