In most marriages each person changes from day to day, sometimes being very loving but irritated at other times, sometimes being the leader but the follower at other times. However, some couples become frozen into one role. When problems occur in our marriage, we blame the partner. This is Shostrom and Kavanaugh's key to helping failing marriages. They teach couples to experience all their emotions, to develop all parts of their personality, to avoid destructive games, and to meet their own needs rather than depending on or blaming the partner.
Givers feel loved when they are giving and have trouble taking.
Unfortunately, givers eventually become resentful of doing so much for the taker and getting so little in return. Giver Taker 1. I am more jealous than my lover. I am quieter than my lover. My partners have done mean things to me.