If you want to visit her, you can offer to do that. This increases the suffering of the patient who, no matter how ill, still wants to be considered among the living. For a masterful and harrowing description of emotional distancing with a dying person, read Tolstoy's story, The Death of Ivan Ilyich . Some people might want to talk about their illness and suffering, some not. There are no special words of wisdom or consolation you have to offer.
People often underestimate how helpful simply staying in touch can be to a gravely ill person.
Dr. Arnold Lieber has the answer. Post-traumatic stress disorder. Shop O2 . All Rights Reserved.