This wasn't the first time this had happened. Sometimes, in the middle of intercourse, he'd lose his erection and we'd have to stop. Any woman who has tried to have intercourse with an impotent man can identify with Ellen's feelings. It isn't just men who experience frustration and disappointment. Women do too.
Many couples maintain a conspiracy of silence surrounding the problem of impotence.
Ellen and Paul both knew that there was a problem, but typically were reluctant to talk about it. Paul didn't want to accept the reality of his impotence, and neither did Ellen. They were caught in a double bind. If they openly addressed the issue, much anxiety and stress would be generated. If they chose to ignore the problem, opportunities for emotional and sexual closeness were lost.