But if we listened to the next argument, about who left the tuna salad uncovered in the refrigerator, and then the next about who left some smelly garbage in the kitchen all day, we might be able to generalize to the idea that there are some expectations about carrying through on tasks, and that the couple hasn't come to a metting of the minds about that carrythrough. Theory permits us to step back from the actual situation and look for patterns, which often cannot be found in the words exchanged. We have to generalize. We would like you to recognize that although we are dealing with the same issues at each level, as we move from theory to practice we are dealing with increasing detail, increasing focus on specific people and specific situations. As we move from practice to theory we are increasing the critical distance between the problem and our thoughts about it.
Policy is written in calm, quiet rooms with no one hurt by that policy in plain view.
We increase the critical distance from the real-world problem once again as we move from policy to theory. Theory describes the interrelationships between the many factors contributing to the problem and being manipulated to handle the problem. Moving a discussion from a practice level to a policy or theoretical level means removing some of the affect associated with the situatedness of the practice. When you're angry about the toothpaste that just got all over you, it's harder to have a rational discussion about the need for follow through so that someone else won't have to come along and pick up behind you. But if you can move the discussion to that level, to a discussion of expectations for follow through, you're far less likely to end up by squirting each other with the toothpaste.