The six geese a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one. The seven swans a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative.
Mechanical swans are on order.
The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.