I just wonder sometimes. I shall overspend when high - I always do. I'll also drink far too much and smoke like a chimney. If I know all this, why do I still carry on doing the same things, making the same mistakes - repeating the same pattern. I ask myself as I rise.
Every day is different, every day a surprise.
I could be high and wake early, eager to start the day. I might well clean my flat from top to bottom before seven in the morning, and then do my washing, before setting off for work at eight. I do a full day at work and then play a game or two of squash, go for a drink or go for a meal with one friend , and then arrange to meet someone else later in a different pub. I might get to bed before one a.m., and then be awake again at four or five, ready to start another overactive day. This will go on for about ten to twelve days before I suddenly slump and need to sleep for two solid days to catch up.