Placed in a strange situation, the extremely shy child of 2 or 3 is hyperactive, irritable, nervous, cries a lot, has a fast heart rate, etc. These shy children were also more likely to be colicky, allergy-prone infants, and by age 7 or 8 had more fears about speaking in class, going to camp, being in the dark, etc. Shy girls are less likely to have careers when they grow up. Yet, we are not slaves to our genes. Two thirds of us, including the shy, continue to think that shyness is caused by family experiences, overprotective or critical parents, abuse by peers, etc., i.e. by experience.
Research assigns more blame to innate factors, which can be modified by experience.
Hopefully, knowing that genes partly determine shyness will not discourage shy people or parents, teachers, and other helpers of shy kids. Clearly shyness can be changed because it does change over the years. He advises parents to face the problem, protect the children from trauma, such as family fights, pushy older siblings, criticism or demands for excellence, etc., help them with social skills, and gently nudge them into social contacts. Seeing painfully shy children and adults as victims of their genes may help us be more sympathetic and spur the schools and helping professions to find better ways to cope with shyness. To do this, they force themselves to interact, to think positively, and to relax while interacting by using drugs and alcohol.