A simple solution to the gay-marriage debate. In the debate over whether to legalize gay marriage, both sides are missing the point. Proponents of gay marriage see it as a civil-rights issue. One is to take the state completely out of it. If couples want to cement their relationship with a ceremony or ritual, they are free to do so.
Religious institutions are free to sanction such relationships under any rules they choose.
When children or large sums of money are involved, an enforceable contract spelling out the parties' respective rights and obligations is probably advisable. But the existence and details of such an agreement should be up to the parties. And privatizing marriage would, incidentally, solve the gay-marriage problem. It would put gay relationships on the same footing as straight ones, without implying official government sanction. For those without property, it was a private contract between two individuals, enforced by the community sense of what was right.