But to adopted children, it sounds as though adults don't listen when they try to communicate their grief and their loss. And even when adults do listen well, adopted children can't be fully comforted because they don't yet fully understand their own feelings. So anger and frustration, or sadness and anxiety result. Other kids may not want to spend time with these children. Parents and siblings may have trouble falling in love and staying in love with some adopted children because of the behaviors those feelings cause.
Loss is at the core of adoption.
It sounds wonderful then. But by the time they get to grade school, they've become more analytical about their world. Adopted children may feel rejected and depressed, or have temper tantrums. For them, anger is often better than feeling overwhelmed and helpless, especially in front of their friends and classmates. Grownups come to this knowledge when something devastating happens in their adult lives.