If it was really that bad, they would leave. Most victims actually minimize the abuse because of self blame, guilt or shame. Victims considering leaving their abusers are faced with the very real possibility of continued threats and harassment, severe physical injury and even death. Domestic violence is the only crime in which the victim, in order to escape the dangers, has to leave home, friends, family, economic security, pets, belongings and sometimes the city behind for a safer, more peaceful life. People consistently place responsibility for violence and abuse on the perpetrator.
Most people blame the victim of domestic violence for the crime, some without realizing it.
They expect the victim to stop the violence and repeatedly analyze their motivations for not leaving, rather than questioning why the abuser continues the abuse, and why the community tolerates and allows it. Drinking, stress and poor impulse control cause domestic violence. Many people under stress do not batter or abuse. Perpetrators who are stressed at work do not assault their co-workers or bosses because of the consequences their actions might bring . Victims are usually abused in private, and when beaten, are often hit on parts of their bodies where bruises will not show.