I did not feel at all bound by a promise that I felt had been coerced from me to keep her from stealing my H. She then told her Barbie and Ken version of their EA to some of the same people who readily forgave her. People who haven't been on the receiving end of betrayal have no clue what it's like. They don't understand the threat, the insecurity, the total loss of self esteem, the physical pain, or any of it. It is beyond their grasp that you can't just put it aside and move on. The callousness of scheduling the party across from you strikes me both from the ow and the mutual friends.
People are fickle in their allegiences.
Your distancing yourself from mutual friends was probably something you needed to do, but they probably just don't get it. When you do decide to venture out again, you may find that they just didn't know what to say or do. Some of our mutual friends were quiet when they first learned of the affair. When I did start getting out again, however, they were very supportive, and ow acted like she had the adulterer's A branded right in the middle of her forhead. Even H, who has lived with me through the craziness of recovery, just doesn't understand how difficult it is.