Your first and most aggressive option is the purest of facial growths, the untrimmed, untainted, full beard. In time, be you well-enough endowed with growing power, your full beard will obscure your appearance completely. Your head will double in size, gaining an accessory for pensive stroking. You will tell the world through this potent tangle of follicles that you are no longer bound to the shackles of hygiene. And your company will be stout in prestige, for only those untouchable in their fields dare pull off such a look.
Pedantic professors sport the full beard, cozy in the snugness of tenure.
Fidel Castro wears it, flaunting his unparalleled job security. Even those whose faces are their livelihood, the stars of motion pictures, occasionally wield follicular fullness in boast of their prowess. We hear Tom Hanks quit shaving a few weeks into the shooting of his last film, Cast Away , just to show Hollywood that he could. Bravo, Brother Hanks. Perhaps you prefer a bit of sculpt to your facial hair.