When I train adults and older children to be optimistic, I teach them to recognize and dispute their own negative thinking. However, very young children do not yet have the cognitive skills to do this. For preschool children, parents must use age-appropriate methods gently and lovingly sow the seeds of optimism. The three crucial building blocks of optimism are mastery, positivity, and explanatory style. It appears that when nothing you do can affect an outcome, you learn to give up and feel sad.
Opportunities abound for parents to help their children develop mastery.
For instance, when a child faces a daunting new task, you can break the challenge down into small, achievable steps, starting with a level she can easily control. That's how we taught our daughter Lara to help with the grocery shopping. At 3, she had her own little toy cart that she wheeled around the store. We put a few groceries in it, which she placed on the counter herself. Later on, she helped us write our shopping list and took more of the items in her cart.