I was even ready to start dating again. I'm not a professional counselor, but I certainly am long-winded. Also, get an individual counselor. This whole deal has probably affected you in ways you don't even realize yet, and the individual work will help you ferret that out. The couples counselor will help you two talk to each other again, and also might teach you how to fight constructively - assuming you're not doing so now.
Divorce IS easier.
I'm being honest here, divorce in my book is walking away from a problem instead of solving it. That's not to say it isn't a bad thing to walk away. Sometimes that is necessary. What I am saying, is that an affair doesn't have to end the marriage. My wife had one during the worst part of our problems about four months ago, and it almost killed me when I found out.