Real programmers know better than the users what they need. Real programmers think structured programming is a communist plot. Real programmers don't use schedules. Schedules are for manager's toadies. Real programmers like to keep their manager in suspense.
Real programmers think better when playing adventure.
Real programmers don't use APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code. Real programmers disdain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive, prematurely toilet-trained neurotics who wear neckties and carefully line up sharpened pencils on an otherwise uncluttered desk. Real programmers don't like the team programming concept.