Well, it sure didn't help me on my math final. You'd have to ask Mr. or Mrs. Rock to be sure, but I think either Chris or Kid was adopted. If you think about it, it really wouldn't be that special to have a dog that talked, because that dog would no doubt go out and teach other dogs to talk, and soon every dog in the world would know how to talk. Then it would be cooler to have a dog that just barked. Sometimes I think I've totally wasted my life.
Mothers are great that way.
I don't think of myself as lactose intolerant, just a little lactose irreverent. Procrastination and masturbation are similar. Sure, both are fun for a while, but in the end you're just screwing yourself. If I had four arms, I'd probably be a kick-ass juggler. Back when I was young, Mom used to cook TV dinners for dad.