I always try to respond in kind to the turkey. For instance, if he is really roaring, I come back at him just as aggressively. However, if he is less than hot, I subdue my calling in both style and volume. If he continues to play hard to get, I might throw in some aggressive calling like cutting or the fighting purr to crank him up. If that doesn't do it, I drop back to very conservative calling.
Hens are much the same.
To call hens, which is always a good idea in case there is a silent gobbler with them, simply imitate them. If they are calling softly, you do the same using the same calls. If there is a real loud mouth among them, chances are she's a dominant hen. Give her some raucous cutting and cacking to challenge her. The main thing is to try different calls until you find what works.