Also many people are uncomfortable with strong emotions, including their own. They may feel that they will cause you more pain by bringing it up, however wrong that may be. The only support they can give is to try to accept and love your child, which is a great gift to the child, even if they never fully understand them. One way is to work towards acceptance and understanding of others reactions. Maybe the whole situation is too overwhelming for them, even now.
Many people have a problem facing mortality - in others and in themselves.
Try to let go of your expectations - your family can't give more than they have. She has been involved in support for preemie parents since the birth of her son in 1988. Allison Martin is the listowner of Preemie Child, a support email list for parents of older children born premature, where the discussion in this article took place.