They are everything. This is something we learn from our Indigenous brothers and sisters here in Australia.
Relationships are everything.
I suspect it is useful to move away from the idea of healing ourselves or healing an individual for its own sake. But we have to keep watch where it isolates us and keeps us unchallenged. We need to stay human warrior and face our own internal challenges in relationship. While it makes sense to pick and choose people to some extent we will need to figure out how to live and work closely with lots of different people who all illuminate our internal challenges in different ways. It meant that some established people never had to deal with some of their stuff that contributed to a relationship not working out.