Anxiety evolves and an automatic action is taken. He believes that the brain makes a cognitive appraisal followed by an action in which we are aware and responsible of. He goes on further to explain that we are not responsible for the anger itself, but we are responsible for the actions which take place because of the anger. These same responses can be traced back to our ancestors and are visible in animals today. Marriage is a relationship in which anger is very evident and destructive.
Marriage creates frustration which leads to anger.
This frustration is the result of the sharing of each others life together. Couples have a hard time adjusting to the duty of bringing in anothers wishes, requests, and preferences. Sharing of time, money and household duties can also lead to frustration. Mace believes that love can be destroyed by this anger if it isn't taken care of properly. He addresses this in the second part of the book.