These are feelings about ourselves that begin at birth and are continually shaped by our life experiences. Persons who have low self-esteem feel low levels of competence, confidence, and connectedness. Perhaps who have high self-esteem feel high levels. Connectedness is especially valued. The single most important predictor of an adolescent positively weathering stress and attacks on self-esteem is connectedness to at least one competent adult.
Numerous studies describe girls' loss of self-esteem at adolescence.
The dichotomy between what girls perceive as real and what we tell them is real causes great confusion. When daughters learn to deny vital information-giving parts of themselves, they begin to doubt their own knowing. This doubt festers and spreads, eating away at healthy self-esteem. Around adolescence, phrases such as 'I don' t know' and 'what do you think' creep into their conversations, as they look to others to fill in the missing information they learned to deny .