For many the worst time is several months after the divorce. It is important to stay socially active and seek out friends. This is tempting but usually foolish and unrealistic because it frequently doesn't work out, it just prolongs the pain. It is usually better to get on with building a new life. We may not realize the problems we face alone or with a new partner.
Many people have little hope of improving the relationship.
It would be hard to chose to continue living with an unloving, hateful, uninterested partner for another 40 or 50 years. In our fantasy, as we saw above, it is so easy to find a new exciting infatuation, so easy to dream of a wonderful future with an ideal partner. If so, the same process is likely to reoccur in 4-7 years with another spouse. See the next section. It is so hard to know ourselves, especially when we are in an emotional turmoil.