Your training includes a dozen Dairy Queen Blizzards per day. You're down to a couple of packs a day, but just can't seem to quit. Spandex only stretches so far. You can't even win regular size fries at McDonald's. Mom insists you wear floaties for the 100-meter freestyle.
Muscles ache after a vigorous game of foosball.
Less than two weeks to go, and your butt is still glued to the couch. The only clapping you hear when you run is the sound of your thighs banging into one another. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.