Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. Beer unusually pale and tasteless. Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. You have fallen over backward. Have yourself leashed to bar.
Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. Find out if you are being taken to another bar. Room seems unusually dark.