There is a need to check out with a possible partner not only the ability to meet your desires, but that person s willingness to meet your desires. It is not possible for one person to meet all of another adult person preferences. So it is important to establish what is most desired in a relationship, to define what desires are high priorities, and what is desired from the relationship to help to develop oneself. You may need to make some compromises because no one person is going to be able to meet all of your wishes. For instance, if you are looking for both financial security and affection, and your partner can provide only one of these at a time, it will be important to be able to compromise.
Healthy relationships have room for compromise and negotiations.
However, there is a limit to how much you can compromise and still be happy. Only you can determine that for yourself by knowing yourself and being honest about what you truly want. It is important to have respect for each other s right to be different. To help you check out some of these things with your partner, we are suggesting that each of you independently make a list of five or six of the most important desires that you have for a relationship those things that you absolutely don't feel that you want to do without in your relationship. Then get together and check out your lists with each other to see what the other person is going to be capable or willing to do to help you satisfy these desires.