Often, mediation is the first opportunity each spouse has to fully explain his or her story and, in turn, truly listen to the other person's side. Spouses usually need to say how hurt they are and how wronged they feel before they can truly begin the process of dissolving their marriage. Mediation allows them to display anger in a controlled forum with a neutral third person present. However, if one or both so stuck in their anger or hurt that communication is non-existent, mediation must be terminated. And, if the anger escalates and leads to physical and emotional abuse, the mediator can and will end the mediation.
Mediation offers a cooperative, nonadverarial approach to problem-solving .
Mediation is a collaborative process that guides the couple towards a solution they can live with and trust. In mediation, the spouses focus on the future. The past is only important in understanding the underlying issues. Given the past, the mediator asks what each spouse can do from this point forward to ensure that thorny issues do not arise again. The focus of litigation is to impose the law rather than solve the problem.