The reason for this is that values are largely unconscious. Parents are seldom aware of the values they learned as a child. Consequently, parenting partners rarely share these values with one another consciously although they pop up frequently when deciding how to balance love and limits. They will gravitate toward other parents who share their values and move away from those who do not. They will choose partners who appear to share their values or at least complement them and avoid partners who do not.
Parents expect certain behaviors or responses from their partners or their children.
Making their values conscious will be the first, most important step a parent will take in changing their relationships with their partners and their child. The most important aspect about values and parenting is that values can change over time. Most of the values a parent held when they were a child will be different from their values as an adult. As their goals, self-image, heroes, education, and experiences change, so will their values. Older children make conscious choices to hold different values than their parents.