An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. The function is primarily decorative.
Mechanical swans are on order.
The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.