People get dizzy just watching you. You've worn the finish off your coffee table. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.