They have already shared with the parents in the growth and development of the unborn child, have seen the ultrasound pictures and have felt the baby move and kick. Some may have offered to loan cribs and baby clothes, offered to baby-sit, begun to knit a blanket or sweater, or have offered to share their toys and even their room. Over the years f have found that people strive to be independent, capable, and self-sufficient and want to be so considered by others especially in times of crisis. How do you explain the passing of a baby to a youngster eagerly awaiting its arrival. Although in the midst of their own grief, parents are concerned about the other children at home, who want to know that mommy is OK and when the baby is coming home.
Parents have to continue in the role of caregiver while requiring care themselves.
Parents generally want to discuss these questions and are open to suggestions. Often the family pediatrician who is familiar with the child can be very helpful in framing answers to the questions children inevitably ask. Continuing the flow out from the center, you next encounter neighbors, coworkers, classmates, the people from your congregation, local shopkeepers, etc. A whole new set of concerns arises. They don't want to upset, ignore, or anger parents by anything they might say or do.