Real grass, not that artificial crap they have at Giants Stadium.
Real men know how important a soft expanse of lawn can be.
Imagine, if you will, a fine summer day. There's half a steer slowly roasting on the grill. The kids are off climbing trees on the edge of that lawn. Your wife has the cordless phone pre-programmed to dial 911 in case any of the kids fall, when potential disaster strikes. The bottle of Bud you just grabbed from the cooler, that ice cold frosty bottle, just slides right out of your hands.