In fact, it is probably only by being part of an ongoing gay community that anyone can learn about and internalize regulative principles for gay sexual interaction. The sexual morality we have is not act-specific but offers guidelines on how to conduct ourselves, how we should treat other people and conditions under which we should engage in sexual activities. Most of us realize in the first place that this requires a degree of self-reliance, personal responsibility and continuous alertness. People should not put themselves in situations they cannot get out of. People should not drink or drug themselves into a state where they cannot make rational assessments.
Prudence is a cardinal virtue.
A great deal of wisdom resides in those three words. Both parties have to agree voluntarily and unreservedly. They have to be clear-headed, alert and attentive to the other's responses. And there must be no lingering physical or emotional damage. That may not be all there is to sexual morality, but it is an excellent start for everyone.