Who cares whether or not she is a victim or an abuser, so to speak. I don't really know if the therapist is right for me, but it's a start. I still don't know if I caused our breakup, if I am or she is the abuser who caused this painful tear, but I am dealing with ME and MY issues because that's all I have left to move forward with. Don't worry about who caused the breakup. Don't worry about who was abuser and who was victim.
Most people have both parts inside.
Look instead at why you place more value on another person than you do on yourself. Learn to recognize your internal rudder, that part of you that felt so hurt by her pushing away. Learn to understand that no person, place or thing is worth burning your hand over. You are too precious for that. In a nutshell, you violated her boundaries when you disregarded your own signals and sold your integrity down the river.