Cacciatore also has some advice for those struggling with what to say to bereaved parents. Parents would rather have their children on Earth. Children are not interchangeable. Say you understand how they feel unless you have been through the same experience. Suggest the care given the child was inadequate.
Parents already feel guilty.
Listen quietly and uncritically. Say you are sorry. Admit your own helplessness and frustration. Allow parents to talk about their feelings honestly and as much as they need to. Give special attention to siblings.