If not, the imminent death of a relative may be to your advantage. But you may have to actually obtain one by other means. Every municipality has something called bulk trash day, usually about three or four times a year, where any size item put out at the curb will be picked up by sanitation trucks. And speaking of competition, how about one of the last bastions of pure, unfiltered capitalism, the auction. You've got a sofa, but no tools.
More adventure is imminent.
When purchasing upholstery supplies, we prefer the establishment with the nastiest help in the worst neighborhood. And if Lester waits on you, ask him to do his Billy Crystal impression. Oh, wait, he's already doing it. The key to fabric attachment is the order in which each fabric panel is attached. Removing these panels, you will find that they are attached so that each successive panel covers the staples and ratty ends of the preceding panel.