The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase. The bigger they are , the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and bite. If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions. Coffee machines only brake down on the graveyard shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy. Shatterproof flashlights seldom are. You will remain in perfect health until your days off. Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you. No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and will never have a full tank of gas.