Kindness is the best present you can give yourself during a rough time. If holiday gaiety is unbearable, you needn't feel guilty about excusing yourself, with as much or as little explanation as you're comfortable with. Then, rather than dwelling on your negative thoughts, do something you find sustaining such as listening to music, talking quietly with a friend or having a massage. Prayer, meditation or journal writing may turn the season into one of renewal instead of despair. With planning, next year's special days can become models of sensible enjoyment.
Planning is the key.
Decide well ahead of time how much travel, money and activity will make your holidays bright but not to the point of burnout. Out of that list, maybe take five things that the family agrees are really important. Your plan should include time for rest, exercise, relaxation and healthy eating. Schedule personal assistants, home health care aides and babysitters well in advance, and have a backup plan in case they cancel. Get your support system in place, and know what you'll do in case of illness, fatigue, allergies or depression.