They are threatened by their partner's desire for tenderness. They would rather show their love by thoughtfully opening the door or brining home big paychecks and lavish gifts. The Denial Mask. Some people simply never look at their own problem with intimacy at all. The Sex Mask.
People sometimes go after sex when what they really want is caring and closeness.
Sexual prowess, flirting or seducing is acceptable behavior, and they know how to do this, but they don't know how to express a need for real intimacy. The Peacock Mask. Many people relate to others by trying to be impressive. They surround themselves with tangible evidences of their self-worth, or they talk about their achievements. The defense is designed to make you feel you are with someone special.