Real programmers don't drive clapped-out Mavericks. They prefer BMWs, Lincolns, pickup trucks with floor shifts or 140mph Taurus SHOs. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded. Real programmers don't believe in schedules. Planners make schedules.
Real programmers ignore schedules.
Real programmers like vending-machine popcorn. Coders pop it in the microwave oven. They can tell which jobs are running just by listening to the rate of popping. Real programmers don't bring brown-bag lunches. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it.