I don't know if you heal. A lot of it is class hatred, which is the same thing as self-hatred. You tell yourself you're just as good as anyone else, but you're always uncomfortable with where you live and the sort of things you don't know about. It's just nuts and those people who've been there know it. You studied history at Rutgers.
History is everything, really.
It's the only thing. You are your history. You can understand that it isn't you who are failing but history put you in this place. But then you can see how some people stepped aside and accomplished a different thing. They stepped out and made a better life.