There is no blame here. Just acceptance of whatever shit the universe is throwing at me. I hope you are in there in fighting mood. Listen to all our messages, seriously. Do not give in.
Many scientists believe it can be triggered by stress.
And you sure do not need any more stress at this point. Please do it. We are what we are and all the behavioral modification and drugs in the world will not change it. It's an attitude, a world view. Maybe we stay away from those who are different, ala the narcissist vs. the self-effacing.