Huffington denies appropriation of Gabor persona. To settle dispute, A.H. suggests three-round boxing match with dowager celebrity. Networks immediately agree to televise it live and in prime time. James Carville and Bob Novak to guest-ref. Henceforth, they will be known as the Ooglie booglies.
Protesters angrily deny sellout.
We took stock options instead. They are unharmed. Surprised to learn the convention is over, they announce plans to depart for home as soon as the Huffington-Gabor fight is over. Match scheduled for 9 p.m. Saturday. Place your bets.