The child longs for closeness with the mother and father. If there is rejection or love withdrawal from the parent, the child is left with intense, painful emotions. Anna Freud described these experiences as happening before the child develops language and therefore are not remembered. Experiences that cause shame alter the child's basic trust of others and are at the heart of dysfunctional behavior. Shame and Guilt Children often feel guilty as well as ashamed.
Guilt is an emotion that rises after a transgression of one's own or cultural values.
The purpose of guilt is to stop behavior that violates a self, family or societal standard. Guilt keeps score on excesses or deficits of behavior deemed undesirable and is expressed in regret and remorse. Guilt can be tied to perfectionism and setting goals either too high or too low. Engaging in behavior that causes one to feel guilty can lead to deep shame. The typical shame response is a heightened degree of arousal and self consciousness.