In 1995, Chani and her physician husband were having marital problems, including domestic violence, and Chani sought counseling with the rabbi of her congregation, Rabbi Flaum of Congregation Knesseth Israel, Far Rockaway, New York. She also sought counseling with Rabbi David Weinberger of Temple Sha'ary Tefila in Lawrence, New York. Despite marital counseling, the problems continued and in 1996, when Chani, a nurse, filed for custody of her four young children in the civil divorce proceeding, she discovered that the two rabbis had submitted affidavits on behalf of her husband's opposing petition in which they revealed what Chani had told them during the counseling sessions. Temporary custody was granted to Dr. Lightman, and Chani filed a claim for damages against the two rabbis for violating their duty not to reveal her confidences. The rabbis had contended that they were compelled by Jewish Law to reveal the woman's confidences to her husband, his attorney, and the court for the protection of the husband and the children.
People expect their disclosures to clergy members to be kept in confidence.
Should the rabbis be required to pay substantial money damages to Chani Lightman, this case will affect rabbis worldwide who do not respect the confidentiality of information divulged to them by women seeking marital counseling. Chayie, mother of two grown children, separated from her husband in 1995. She hired a well-known expert on Jewish Law, Rabbi Moshe Tendler, to be her rabbinical arbitrator in the negotiation and another rabbi to act as her rabbinical pleader. Arguing that her husband requested the permit in order to avoid division of the marital assets in a fair manner, Chayie claimed that the permit would be used to blackmail her into giving up financial benefits to which she was entitled under New York civil law. As a businesswoman who owns and manages nursing homes in Brooklyn, Chayie claims that the rabbis published the permit which contained false and insulting information about her, thus shaming and embarrassing her in the close-knit community of Borough Park where she lives and does business.