If you live far away from your parents, and you know a friend or relative who is going to see them shortly, contact that person before and after the visit to get their feedback, says Loverde. Once you ve identified the problems, you ll have to approach your parent to discuss solutions. I find it s better to ask questions than to make statements, says Loverde, a Chicago-area resident with an elderly mother living in Florida. If your parent does not respond immediately, or changes the subject, at least he or she knows that you re watching out for their best interests, Loverde says. Communicating with your loved one about eldercare issues usually takes more than one attempt.
Family members make a lot of mistakes about taking over their parents lives.
They want to maintain control over their own lives for as long as possible. It s best to divide eldercare responsibilities among family members instead of putting the burden on only one or two people, says Loverde. The post office can have someone contact you if the mail carrier notices an unusual accumulation of mail. Social day care. Community centers and churches often provide group meals, recreation and trips for senior citizens.