Part of getting through the loss is finding ways to memorialize the child. Jessica Hall keeps a memory box full of mementos, including a quilt she was piecing together when her daughter died. Pam and Tom create a memorial in their backyard, and also have Abrianna's name placed on a memorial wall in Tucson dedicated to the children who have died, regardless of how they died. Pam Magi, perinatal bereavement coordinator at Good Samaritan Hospital in Suffern, New York, has also seen that parents always remember their losses. She runs a number of support groups for parents in different stages of grief, and her hospital has set up a walkway, with bricks engraved with the names of children who've died.
Most couples experiencing the loss of pregnancy go on to get pregnant again.
Women may be cautioned to wait a few months until their bodies are stronger, and longer to make sure they are emotionally ready. Most wait just a few months, but Pam and Tom waited a year. She opted to alternate visits between the midwives and Dr. Reinhart, who delivered Abrianna. They discuss how long and difficult this pregnancy will be, emotionally, how Pam will be concerned, particularly around her 30th week, when she lost Abrianna. But the first thing Pam experiences is exhaustion.