Even if you did not have that kind of dad, become that kind of dad. We tend to become what the most important person in our lives thinks we'll become. It takes 50 words of encouragement to undue 1 word of criticism. My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. There is power in praise and encouragement.
Open rebuke is better than secret love.
It is holding someone accountable. It is a spirit of submission. The point is always to restore. Elders should always have the right of appeal. We should trust them and we should unconditionally accept and submit to their final direction.