Building self-confidence in coping with problems will reduce the unproductive fretting. Also, see the next chapter for a discussion of perfectionistic worrying. Shyness Shyness is very common and it can be very handicapping, but it does not gain you much sympathy. Getting over it isn't easy. If you try to avoid being embarrassed and nervous by not interacting, you run the risk of being seen as snobbish, bored, unfriendly, or weak.
Most researchers agree that half or more of American adults are a little shy.
So, it is one of the most common human problems. We shy people find it hard to start a relationship. Occasionally, if the withdrawal or rejection seems unnecessarily cruel to us, we may get angry and start to feel superior and want revenge. Most of the time we just believe we are not very interesting and stay by ourselves. We often long for intimacy and if we gain it with one or two people, we feel and do just fine.