Although these behaviors create a struggle between child and parent, they should be expected and planned for them. Independence is an emotion to be encouraged during the early preschool years. The alternative is shame and doubt. In responding to a child's misuse of language or accidents when toileting, parents and caregivers should be sensitive to avoid using guilt and punishments for what are most likely normal acts of development. Once children learn to handle independence, they are ready to develop a healthy sense of initiative.
Initiative means starting activities, creating, and working.
Children who learn to start their own activities lay the groundwork for positive and productive school experiences. Again, explorations, questions, and investigations play major roles in development. From the time they begin school until around age 12, children are in middle childhood, when learning skills become better defined. Children at this stage have higher-order thinking skills and can use them to make more complex decisions. As children they have always believed what adults say as basically true, but they now begin to question the pedestal upon which they have placed adults.