When they're detached from a caring communion and spiritual family, they lose much of their distinctive richness. The church context for weddings and funerals is not the sanctuary, but the people, people who have prayed with you and laughed with you and cried with you and cared for you and worked with you and confronted you and journeyed with you through time. On the other hand, weddings and funerals are where a lot of people first connect with the church. Weddings and funerals are interesting events. Feelings run high.
People feel pressure.
Memories float thick in the air. At weddings and funerals all the old skeletons dance out of their closets. You never fail to see a person or two who are there, but not really connecting with the proceedings, looking like they would rather be climbing Mount Everest with a cross eyed Sherpa guide than hanging out with their own family. And almost always something strange happens. I've performed many a service where a family was knotted with anxiety that a certain person might or might not show up.