Masochism is the experience of suffering accompanied by pleasure.
The connection between the pain and the pleasure is hidden in the unconscious. The sufferers bemoan their fate but feel martyred. She says she is doing it for the marriage, the family, the children and he can't let down his buddies, the company or the cause. This is what psychoanalysts call moral masochism, humiliation and failure which doesn't involve physical pain like being beaten to achieve a sexual climax. The ego is besieged with guilt from a punishing superego or conscience and the solution to this dilemma is to be punished by life.