He won't even say the word. Real Cops polish their badges, but only when they know an inspection is coming up. Real Cops don't wear shooting badges. They wear notches on their guns. A Real Cop won't have anything to do with fruit, and he sure as hell doesn't want it in his shorts.
Real Cops have mustaches.
They wear their sideburns squared off, with no taper. Real Cops don't own blow dryers, fro combs, or rat-tailed brushes. A Real Cop's hair is too short to be affected by any of these things. Off-duty Real Cops stay in good shape. Real Cops never get involved in trendy sports like racquetball or roller disco.