They have to let go physically, which may be the easiest part. They have to let go emotionally, which is often the toughest part. Parents who have been long-term caregivers for their children often become their child's primary companions, also. And for some parents, their child with a disability becomes the parents' main companion and friend. Letting go after years of non-separating experiences makes the prospect of an adolescent or adult child with a disability moving out of the home a very difficult change.
Many parents feel a sense of impending loss and grief, and even guilt.
No one else may be able to read subtle cues that signal hunger, or irritation, or stubbornness. No one else will automatically know that she likes coffee with a level teaspoon of sugar. No one else may know that she doesn't like blue towels. It's a hard balance to achieve when there has been an absence of separating experiences through the years. But it's an essential balance, one which requires the parents and new caregivers, in the case of moving from home to a residential setting, to work together to ease the transition and make it a positive experience.