Never subtract so many strokes on any one hole that you wind up with the honor on the next hole. The statute of limitations on forgotten strokes is two holes. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts. It's not a gimme if you're still away. Always limp with the same leg for the whole round.
Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. It's often necessary to hit a second drive to really appreciate the first one. A stroke does not occur unless it is observed by more than one golfer. If your ball disappears in the fairway of a blind hole, it's probably because it rolled into an anti-divot and vaporized. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.