As my friend noted, there is grave danger in thinking of making this poor, sad, man love you and so helping him flower and be happy. There are certainly men who have suffered trauma from their family, from war, from crimes against them and from abuse by a previous woman partner. Such men deserve support and need extra care. This raises the question of how fixed this personality quality is. I expect it is relatively fixed, but not absolutely unchangeable.
People can make conscious choices to reverse past patterns of behaviour and thinking.
A person who was previously short-sighted, selfish and destructive can get wise and change themselves for the better. As a mother of your future children, you need to see real, substantial, positive change in someone with a bad history before considering him as a potential father for your brood. Men who have been traumatised Some men have been traumatised by women partners, emotionally, physically, financially and in terms of their custody of and relationship with their children. The courts and wider society may be complicit in this traumatisation and destruction of what should have been a good life. Such men may become angry, bitter and twisted - at least in respect of women.