Please keep in mind that I'm trying to do this without ever having actually seen you, your dog, and most importantly, how you interact. I have a background in Obedience Training. I showed my dog in Canine Good Citizen, Obedience and in Agility. He was a registered Therapy Dog. My theory of dog training is pretty simple.
Dogs are pack animals.
Most dogs like to be a pack member, and prefer not to be in charge, but it's in them to test the limits that you set. They expect, as in a pack, to be corrected, and put back in their place. Correction is not harsh or abusive. For training purposes, correction is an attention-getter or distraction. It may be a quick pop and release on the collar, or a loud noise, or a spray of water.