How one deals with a clogged sugar dispenser tells the story of white racism. Like your friend, I was raised by my parents to believe that it was important to consider the sensibilities of others when in public. I, too, would be reluctant to bang a sugar container on the table. My mother, with her coarse black hair, high cheekbones and copper colored skin showing an especially strong resemblance to her Native American great-grandmother, wasn't teaching me generally accepted rules of conduct. Ask 10 people how they would handle this situation and why they would do it that way, and you'd get 10 answers, from type of restaurant to concern about disruption versus willingness to be self-reliant.
People handle things differently for a whole lot of reasons.
There's no evidence of racism here, only evidence of attributing to others one's own preconceptions. With a common everyday occurrence such as this one, those looking to feel aggrieved and victimized find evidence of rampant and pervasive racism. It's a sad thing . . . Tom Jensen lives in Southeast Portland.