What should evolve from the dual obligation of the husband and wife to honor and respect one another is a situation of escalating respectfulness, in which each one of the partners accords respect, elicits via that honor and respectfulness the respect of the other, and so helps to create a syndrome of escalating honor and respect. Neither should wait for the other to start lest no one begin. Let them both initiate the honor syndrome. Should they trip over each other in the rush, it will be a profound meeting. To Be Avoided Honor, the mode of expression that is most desirable in marriage, is underlined by the ability to communicate with genuine concern for the situation and needs of the other.
Honor is humane considerateness.
Anger is on the other side of the spectrum. It is communication without concern for the other. It is a form of letting loose rather than a form of communication. Husband and wife, in an atmosphere of shalom bayit, merit that the G-dly presence reside with them. G-d feels welcome and at home in a harmonious atmosphere.