Look up to someone and take note of what traits you admire. Scrutinize your family. See what you like, see what you don't like and see which ungainly mannerisms you've been saddled with by genes and osmosis and time. Look, hard, at the breakdowns of relationships past. See a therapist then, if your problems are tired, painful reruns and you don't understand why.
People think it's an admission of failure to seek outside help.
Find the recurring nightmare, face it, file it. Just don't foist it on us.