The trick wasn't really in my body language, although that helped. It was not in my words, although they were soothing. And people too. Both see your lips move, but they never really understand a word that you are saying. You have to rely on other forms of communication that go beyond language.
People are intimate strangers to one another.
It's scary how little human contact depends on content, clarity, and meaning. That's because we are animals. We are always alert to the possibility for violence. In organizations, this means demeaning comments, unfair criticism, blame, not being heard or respected, and sometimes just plain getting screwed. We don't listen.