Real teachers never take grades after Wednesday of the last week of the six weeks. Real teachers never assign research papers on the last six weeks or essays on final exams. Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office. Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day. Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.
Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.
Real teachers have never heard an original excuse. Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil at Sam's. Real teachers have the assistant principals' and counselors' home phone numbers. Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school. Real teachers know the rules don't really apply to them.