Next, lean toward the person. Really give him or her your complete attention. Speak with your body language. You might lean forward and look directly in the person's eyes but be a thousand miles away. People know this.
People can tell what's going on.
Empty yourself of your pride and ego, and consider the other person to be more important. As I've said before, life doesn't give you what you need, but what you earn. A farmer might say he needs a good crop of corn. But, if he's not willing to plow the fields, fertilize, nurture, water, and everything else, he's not going to get it. It has to be real.