This old favorite needs no description, but one professor's class established what must be a world's record when 14 out of 250 students reported their grandmothers dead just before the final. I can't take the exam on Monday because my mom is getting married on Sunday and I'll be too drunk to drive back to school. Chocolate doesn't expect you to call the next day. You don't have to tell your Baby Ruth about all the Paydays and Almond Joys in your past, and if you did, it wouldn't get jealous. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
Good chocolate is easy to find.
You don't have to feel guilty for imagining that your Eskimo Pie is a Dove Bar. The pharmacist doesn't smirk when you buy a Milky Way. And so a new contest was born. My Honors kid left a pair of forceps in your kid, on purpose. I is not an Honors student.