You know that if you want to see the reflection smile, you must smile first. There is no way to change the reflection without you smiling first, but you can also, conversely, understand that when you decide to smile, the reflection has no choice but to return the smile, because it doesn't have a mind of its own. The idea to understand is that when you make choices, your choices are based on your motivation and your motivation is based on your definitions. This is the other way to explain the three-part process. So anytime you are making a choice it is always because you have been motivated to make that choice.
Motivation only has two parts to it, that is all there is to motivation.
You will always, in every single case, you will always choose what you perceive to be the choice that is closest to pleasure and furthest from pain. That's why it is so powerful to get in touch with what your belief systems are. Because, when you find out why you may be defining something as pleasurable or painful and you change the definition, you will instantly change your motivation, and you will instantly change the choices that you make. It's just a matter of where you are placing your trust and what definitions you are motivated to act upon. That's all there is to it.