The bonds change, and it takes courage to accept this. Parenting after divorce involves re-bonding with your child. Re-bonding or reconnecting may be considered a new concept, but it has happened throughout time. The easiest and more clear way to see this is to notice how as an adult you re-bond or reconnect with your nieces and nephews when you see each other after a long period apart, or recall how you felt when your favorite relatives or teachers bonded with you as a child. It takes different periods of time for each of you.
Humans heal from horrible situations over time.
Healing takes time, energy and commitment to yourself and to your children. Making a decision to start a new beginning comes immediately for some. Some of them may be rather long, so remember you can always print them and read the off-line another time. How you parent after separation or divorce will forever effect the lives of your children. It doesn't have to.