Remember, you aren't silly, you are refined. Ignore the giggles you get when you ask to see MacDonald's finest chardonnay. Those hippie kids are probably all on the drugs anyway. Incredulously glare down your nose at the other people on the bus who stare at you because you neatly placed a single white handkerchief under you before you sat. I suggest wearing a monocle at all times.
Nothing says upper crust like that dignified little lens.
Red and yellow are popular this year. If you get it prescription strength, the vertigo that results from uneven vision provides a cheap alternative to alcohol. Your name has now changed. You are no longer John Doe. You are John Doe, wealthy hundredaire.