The commencement speaker at LCCC is Charlie Daniels. Folks in Parsons have personal checks with pictures of dogs fightin'. Safe sex means putting on the emergency brake. Too many cars have more than one exhaust pipe. Everything some people ever won at the Bloomsburg Fair is hanging from their rearview mirror.
People get into fistfights at the laundromat over a dryer.
Their won't be any school on the day John Cougar Mellencamp plays the arena. Nor will there be any work, though it'll still be OK to hunt possum. It ain't Thanksgiving dinner unless it's served on the ping pong table. A formal dinner at the Woodlands means you can wear your jacket with the Newport logo. Judges put restraining orders on peoples pets.