I am trying to forget. I think about the future and pray that we will never have to go through another recurrence. Deep in my soul I know how insidious cancer is. You can not let your guard down. And you subconsciously await for the next occurrence, hoping it will never come.
Metastatic cancer is different.
Sharon can't escape the reality of cancer, and as a spouse, neither can I. But I don't live with it as she does. I read books that take my mind in different directions. But there is seldom a day that we don't talk about cancer, and I have to accept the very understandable fact that Sharon does not engage as deeply as she once did in my intellectual interests. We really must understand each other's needs. Perhaps we are even sometimes using coping mechanisms, though I lack the skills at penetrating the subconscious to know.