Try to have a delay time of 10 seconds between each subsequent access. And always identify yourself to the site. Also, make sure your spider knows how to handle graphics and postscript documents that your spider may encounter. However, that does not mean you cannot exclude spiders. There is a new standard for using HTML META tags just for that purpose.
Most search engines provide services for users to add their HTML pages to the database.
There are some services on the Web that will submit your site to many search engines for a couple of hundred bucks. You can go to those pages, fill out the requested information and submit the request. Web spiders are good tools for indexing static HTML documents. That is, documents that do not change so often. However, the idea of having a Web spider as an automated information discovery tool is starting to break down due to the fact that these spiders cannot keep their massive database up to date.