You've been having trouble with this relationship for between five and ten years. Relationships are like business deals. They either get better or they get worse, and once they've started in that downward spiral, it's almost impossible to turn them around. You've been in a downward spiral with this woman for so long, I doubt if it can turn itself around. She's not going to stop being critical, and criticism is a relationship killer.
Nobody wants to be criticized.
Everyone wants to be appreciated. This has nothing to do with your past memories. It has more to do with a woman who doesn't know how to be nice to someone who loves her. Your history is yours to treasure and relish and relive, although sexual details might best be kept to yourself. On the other hand, a woman who can't find anything good about you to appreciate will destroy your self-esteem and make you miserable.