Fill the syringe with water and squirt it out. Do this three times. Some activities are definitely high risk for HIV infection. Anal, oral or vaginal sex without a condom is very risky for both partners, top and bottom. There is a lot more to safer sex than just condoms.
Many sexual practices are totally safe.
Massage is not just foreplay. Touching can be warm and affectionate or erotic and exciting. Or watch porn together and talk about what turns you on. Try different lubricants for a different feeling. Oral sex doesn't have to be limited to genitals.