Do whatever is necessary to lessen your hostility. Whether it's exercising, going to a therapist, or going to a support group, get the help you need to get over your anger and get on with the rest of your life. It's certainly well documented that women are, as a group, less likely to do well financially in the years following a divorce. Financially, women often end up in a much worse financial position than men after divorce. The one thing that astonishes me continually is how little women know and understand about their financial lives, and what the finances look like in a marriage.
Every person needs to know what is coming in and out of the household finances.
How much do you pay each month for housing and utilities and taxes. Many women do not know what their husbands own. Ignorance is one sure way to lose your standard of living after divorce. Not knowing what is jointly in your portfolio is unacceptable. Women especially need to understand how much is necessary to earn if they are contemplating going back to work.