Firestone has found we learn to deny our death as children. Children form defenses against separation and deprivation early in life before they are aware of death. But these defenses are intensified and critically reinforced when they become aware not only that their parents will die, but that they cannot sustain their own lives. Although these defenses are adaptive for vulnerable children, Firestone suggests, they can cripple us as adults if we continue to deny our feelings about our mortality. And they are unnecessary.
People can choose to be less defended in the face of death, and thus to live more fully.
Most critical is to feel our feelings about our mortality, share them with others, and choose to use an honest and poignant appreciation of life's preciousness to embrace and invest in life and relationships rather than withdrawing from them. Dr. Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett began the evening with an analysis and reading from an unpublished essay by Dr. Robert Firestone. They then illustrated their ideas with unusual excerpts from Glendon videos. One part demonstrated how children learn about and deal with death. Another showed adults talking openly and honestly about their sadness about their mortality, and how they use this sadness to give them a greater appreciation for life, and to live more fully than they might otherwise.