You have to decide whose house to live in. The first marriage can be like a ghost hanging over you. The new pattern is probably different from the first marriage, though. I am much more independent, more into living my own life now. It's a shock when that starts.
Holidays are the sticking point for many melded families.
For Father's Day, I rent a park and we have a potluck picnic. I have to reserve the park virtually at dawn on January 2, to be sure to get it, but it has plenty of play equipment and things to do, as well as grills if we want them. On Easter Sunday we all have brunch somewhere. Christmas Eve is for his kids and Christmas Day is for mine. Mine have farther to come.