I didn't actually get glasses until third grade, I think it was, but I can't remember that long-ago time before my view of the world was framed. The clear view has always been the one that is straight ahead, with blurred boundaries above, below and on either side. There was an initial foolishness, during which time I thought it would be great to wear glasses because my friend Leigh did. Each new and stronger prescription meant at least a week of adjustment, feeling as if I were walking high above my feet, with all my surroundings distorted and far away. Because my eyes changed so drastically each year, I feared going blind, or that my nose and face would not be able to bear the weight of increasingly heavy glasses.
Old photographs show a small girl with big glasses, thick and brown and ugly.
For several years in early high school and then again in early college, I wore contact lenses. I breathed a sigh of relief when, at around 20, my eyes began to stabilize and the worst I could expect was a slight change in my astigmatism. I was resolved. I would wear glasses forever and, actually, I could think about it in terms of thankfulness. My life would have literally been one big headache, a pounding in my skull and eyes from never being able to focus on anything.