People of both sexes claim to learn courtship skills online. And, more broadly, people interviewed by Suler say they use online exploration to develop new aspects of self, such as altruism or a sense of humor. It gets you out of that box you're confined to in the real world. And another psychologist who's written on the psychology of the Internet, the University of Maryland's Patricia Wallace, PhD, points out that students afraid to talk in class often relax more and speak up online. However, says Gackenbach, use can be pathological if it interferes with those areas.
Most psychologists agree that much hinges on one's personal approach.
For example, the man who is comfortably homosexual online but uncomfortably heterosexual offline is forever conflicted. And the person who becomes mired in secret cybersex may miss out on real-life intimacy. Instead of making new ones, the girl spent her time chatting online, playing out different personas such as warrior or seductress. She became so immersed in online characters that she lost touch with her real-world social life. To draw attention and spur responses from others, they often make more provocative, one-sided statements than they would offline, says Reid Steere.