The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, that he could hardly speak. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the monsignor how he could relax.
Next time sip rather than gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Last, but not least, next week there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffies. Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he didn't pass water. Eat it, for it is my body.