Speed it up. Put down the chair. However, if you're having no luck with the nifty Secret Stuff, there is help. All about how to get to the secret characters, and some tips on making them eat ball. Generally, having one of these guides will probably help you figure out the other two.
Registration is easy.
CompuServ, Delphi, American Online, even most WWIVnet and FidoNet BBSi. I'll mail it off. No funny mailing for all three with separate mail, I keep track. Gather two friends with access if you want them that badly. Now, those of you without Internet mail are gonna have a problem.