This diminished sense of self is a blessing. As stutterers, we have an overworked sense of our own importance. We believe that everyone is enthralled by our utterances and that every syllable is important to those around us. Therefore if we make a mistake, it is highly visible to those who must be hanging on our every word. We feel that our speech must be perfect to match our own self-image.
Fluency is the Holy Grail, with no tolerance for imperfection.
Our demands, particularly on ourselves, are unreasonable as we set ourselves up for inevitable failure. Life soon brings us to reality. Your listener during the incident has no memory of it - had forgotten it 30 seconds after it happened. Your scar is self-inflicted. You may remember some of them, but no one else does.