Those are times when the body being hurt does not look or feel to be your own. It is hard to stop. If searching for self-punishment or pain, ice cubes held until completely melted sometimes greatly relieves these urges. Professional care is advised. He hurt as much or more than I did, yet he stayed by my side all the way.
Many divorces arise from such trauma.
He was always caring, but expected me to try harder each day. A great partner to my other treatments. I often feel suicidal, but I never feel like just hurting myself. I've tried to tell people I need help, but no one will believe me. And when doctors see my records, they always base their opinions off of them.