Professor Lanham recommends a technique for making flatness both visible and audible. First open a file in your word processing program. Cut and paste into it what you ve written. Read each sentence aloud and hear where the phrases begin and end. Drop in a forward slash between each phrase and stack them up like bricks.
Phrases tend to be of equal length, and read aloud, the sentence sounds monotonous.
Here the phrases have a variety of lengths, which sound more like the rhythms of human speech and are less likely to produce monotony. The writer achieves this effect by reducing the number of prepositional phrases, keeping action in the verbs, and going for brevity. To the customer reading this, probably not.