The passive voice is to be avoided. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Profanity is for assholes.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas. Tell me what you know. Puns are for children, not for groan readers. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.