I did everything. For four years, John had what he calls sporadic sobriety until he finally crashed and burned, staying clean for good after an arrest on charges of marijuana possession and a fifth stay at a recovery house. He started accepting the fact that he couldn't control his impulses. Because anonymity is a valued tenet of recovery programs, John and others like him asked that only their first names be used when telling their stories. That's what we deal with every day.
Most relapses happen after three months, one year and five years of being clean.
After that, relapses are less common, but the risk rises again after 15 and 20 years of sobriety. But I know if I stop going to meetings, stop praying and start hanging out with old friends, I know I'd be using again. Without groups like Narcotics Anonymous, Kathy says she would still be smoking pot and shooting heroin, a habit that made her subject to a restraining order, barring Kathy from seeing her children. Like John, almost losing her children made her get help and has kept her clean. But when I go to NA meetings, I hear the truth, and the truth is there is hope, and we can restore the wreckage we've created.