The overemphasis on this contrast has been unfortunate. It has prevented most writers on ethics from recognizing that both manners and morals rest on the same underlying principle. That principle is sympathy, kindness, consideration for others. It is true that a part of any code of manners is merely conventional and arbitrary, like knowing which fork to use for the salad, but the heart of every code of manners lies much deeper. The extent to which it does this is the test of any code of manners.
Manners are minor morals.
Manners are to morals as the final sand papering, rubbing, and polishing on a fine piece of furniture are to the selection of the wood, the sawing, chiseling, and fitting. They are the finishing touch. Emerson is one of the few modern writers who have explicitly recognized the ethical basis of manners. Let us pursue this aspect of manners a little further. Manners, as we have seen, consist in consideration for others.