When we think of the death of Jesus, we automatically associate it with our salvation. We remember that Jesus died for us. We remember that He died for our sins. Most of us can associate with the feeling of being betrayed, of losing a friend. One's trust is broken.
Friendship comes to an end.
As soon as we get a sliver in one of our fingers, we complain of the pain. No, none of them could have imagined the extreme abuse that Jesus endured for each and everyone of us. In fact, they must have all felt helpless against the Romans who were being manipulated by the religious elders. They must have been scared as Peter was scared when he denied knowing Jesus. Deep within, they must have been terribly hurt.