Each year in Australia there are around 52,000 divorces and 70,000 separations - a figure which includes couples living in long term de facto relationships. According to Geoff Price, of the NSW Men's Health and Wellbeing Association, an organisation which aims to improve the health and wellbeing of men and boys in the community, this adds up to large numbers of men who aren't coping with the aftermath of separation. According to research by the Family Court of Australia, many men are still struggling with problems related to separation ten years after the event. This doesn't mean men have a worse experience than women, he's quick to add. But their experience is different.
Many men are also unprepared for the break up of their relationship.
After separation, it's normal for partners to feel many emotions including loneliness, confusion, guilt, anger, or feeling worthless. But whereas women can often unburden their feelings by talking to friends, many men keep their emotions locked inside, says Geoff who works as a counsellor specialising in men's relationship issues. It takes courage for men to speak out about their feelings. Sometimes this violence is turned upon their former partner, and sometimes it's turned upon themselves - for every female suicide associated with separation, there are 12 male suicides. But there's also evidence that men who are able to talk about their feelings at the time of separation cope better than those who don't.