Mostly, the mother. If the mother herself is the dependent, Narcissistic type - the growth prospects of the child are, indeed, dim. Another strategy is to treat the child as an extension of the mother or, conversely, to treat herself as an extension of the child. In the latter case, the adult's ability to interact with members of the opposite sex will be gravely impaired and the mother will be perceived as envious of any feminine influence other than hers. The latter tactic is a pernicious variant of the guilt-related species.
Guilt is a prime mover in the perverted relationships of such mothers and their children.
The death of the mother is, therefore, both a devastating shock and a deliverance. The reactions are ambiguous, to say the least. The typical adult who mourns his dead mother usually is exposed to such emotional duality. This ambiguity is the source of our guilt feelings. He is glad to be liberated and feels guilty and punishable because of it.