But with gentle pressure applied relentlessly, change will happen. Look at the above diagram. Thus far this fact sheet has discussed what change is, how control enters into it, and change as a process. With this background information, it is time to understand how to break through the real-world barriers that get in the way of cooperation and change. The first barrier lies within you.
Human beings are reaction machines.
When you're under stress, or when you encounter a NO, or feel you are being attacked, you naturally feel like striking back. Usually this just perpetuates the action-reaction cycle that leaves both sides losers. Or, you may react by impulsively giving in just to end the negotiation and preserve the relationship. You lose and, having demonstrated your weakness, you expose yourself to be bullied by others. The problem you thus face in negotiation is not only the other side's difficult behavior but your own reaction, which can easily perpetuate that behavior.