I smiled and nodded, but still struggled with the idea that in a few short months, I would be the mother of a boy. Maybe it was wrong, even cruel or sick, but although I wanted another child and knew I would love him dearly, he was less than I had hoped for when I got pregnant. Those were my feelings. And no matter what the reason or lack thereof, they were real. Like most disturbing emotions, I soon found that I was not alone in the world in having them.
Entire cultures have preferences for one sex or the other.
Within the lesbian community alone, I found scores of women in real life and on the internet who shared my strong desire for daughters, along with emotions ranging from apathy to despair at the notion of having sons. There were also many lesbians who felt much the same prior to having sons. Many assured me that, once he was born, I would be just as happy as I was having had a daughter. I knew they meant well, and pretended to them and to myself that they were right, but I didn't believe they truly knew what I was going through. I held on to one last hope the ultrasound was wrong.