Our first obligation is to think about how these words are being used. Students are typically expected to follow the rules regardless of whether the rules are reasonable and to respect authority regardless of whether that respect has been earned. Given these connotations, I would argue that the most pressing question is not how we can make children more respectful or responsible, but whether these, as currently defined, are even legitimate goals. But let's assume we have in mind a more reasonable, less autocratic understanding of respect and responsibility. Once again, we find ourselves facing the limits of a skills-based approach.
Most students know how to treat someone respectfully.
What we want to find out is why they sometimes fail to do so, Apart from simple carelessness, one logical explanation is that they do not feet respected themselves. It is widely understood that people learn by example. But adults who are respectful of children are not just modeling a skill or behavior, they are meeting the emotional needs of those children, thereby helping to create the psychological conditions for children to treat others respectfully. I once visited a kindergarten classroom where the teacher, about to begin a class meeting, paused to ask whether it was OK to erase a childish scrawl on the blackboard. His response was to ask when they would be ready, and after some discussion they decided to take the test the following Wednesday.