One of the most rewarding relationships is when a mother steps forward to mentor her daughter's best friend. Some cities have organized mentoring programs for girls. If you want your daughter to emerge from the crisis years as a healthy, well-adjusted adult, you need to reach out to another woman. At nine or ten years of age, girls begin to focus powerfully on their need to be independent. Privacy becomes a concern, and often an obsession.
Girls have an underlying desire to establish control.
As parents, we have complex emotional relationships with our daughters. Many of them are frightened of disappointing us or challenging our belief system. Often, it's hard for us to give advice that doesn't sound like a lecture. The most important thing a mentor can do is to listen and to lead by example. She isn't there to judge, punish or condemn.