The opening clause and beginning part of the main clause of the sentence are in the past tense . The quoted material, however, is in the present tense of the story. This mixture of tenses makes the student writer's sentence ungrammatical. To correct this verb tense problem , the writer needs to make the tenses consistent. She can make them all present tense or all past tense.
Present tense is preferable when writing about literature.
The verbs are all now past tense. All in present tense. 6b Make sure that the sentence is a complete thought. This sentence is a fragment, or incomplete thought. Be especially careful that your sentences are complete thoughts when you incorporate quoted material into them.