It is because personal realization of truth is needed to reach the end of suffering that meditation assumes a position of such crucial importance in the Buddhist formulation of the liberating path. Meditation, for Buddhism, is the means of generating the inner understanding required for deliverance from suffering. So try to make it still and radiant, because the heart has long lain buried in the mud. As soon as you can see the harm of the mud and grow tired of it, you should urgently wake up, take notice and exert yourself till you can manage to make your way free. Nibbana is holding its hand out, waiting for you.
Rebelliousness is simply distraction.
The end of rebelliousness is stillness. When the heart is still, it's at ease. If it's not still, it's as hot as fire. Wherever you are, everything is hot and troubled. So make the heart cool with the practice, because the heat and trouble lie with the heart.