He's willing to wait for her, but in the meantime, he's still in my home. He said things have not been good in our marriage for five or six years now. I think he looked for things to be wrong to make himself feel better about the affair. I think it's a mid-life crisis he needs to get over. I do believe, however, that if communication has broken down enough in a marriage, it is possible for one person to think things are fine and the other to be discontent.
People have affairs for all different reasons.
In your husband's case, it sounds like he's escaping from problems in your marriage he couldn't or wouldn't express. So, instead of working things out with you, he turned to another woman to console himself. Know that in over 85 percent of these scenarios, the second relationship doesn't work out. This is because the people involved haven't resolved their relationship problems the first time around, so they simply rise up again in the new relationship. It sounds like you're feeling out of control right now.