Effective listening requires more concentration than any other form of communication. If you are thinking about anything other than what the person is saying, you are defeating your ability to understand. Thinking about what you plan to say while the other person is speaking prevents you from understanding what that person is saying. Attending to distractions makes you appear uninterested, unfocused, and rude. A pleasant manner will encourage people to trust you and tell you more.
Negative behavior conveys weakness, insecurity, and fear.
Anger will frighten people into avoiding you. Appearing interested, asking questions, and treating others with respect will facilitate open communication. Talking about what you want is more forceful than talking about what you don't want, won't do, or can't do. If you seek approval, culprits, or excuses, you will discourage communication. The golden rule in reverse implies that you will be treated the way that you treat others.