But at other times it can be a message that something is wrong, that you have to pay attention to something you have been ignoring. The intensity of pain during divorce can be frightening, but you mustn't run from it or try to block it out or avoid it. Endure your suffering, accept your pain and listen to it. The major challenge in any divorce is to deal constructively with your fear. Fear of pain, fear of hurt, fear of the future, fear of your ability to take care of yourself and your children, fear of losing self-respect, fear of fear.
Fear is the root source of anger.
Anger is the flip-side of fear. Anger turned inward is depression. Learning how to use anger constructively is one of the most important lessons to be gained from your divorce. Anger is a potent source of energy and a very useful emotion if you know how to use it. Anger helps get you through the first and most painful stages of divorce by providing an outlet for inexpressible emotions and it helps break the bonds of affection and attachment.