A man may have the same concern about his erection. Most men by age 40 experience impotency at various times. He is very discouraged as a man when the woman reaches down and finds his soft, mushy mass instead of the constantly erect strong hard-on his masculinity demands. But you can help each other achieve one. For a woman, she has to get to a place where her orgasm is likely to happen and her partner can help her.
Most women know how to do it for themselves more reliably and efficiently than with men.
The goal is to have men want to help women, not just thrust and get themselves off. For a great many women, a penis is the least effective way to provide the stimulation needed to push a woman's erotic reflexes over the edge into the screaming climaxes they crave. For this task men need more sophisticated tools - tongues and hands. Orgasm in the female requires intense concentration and relaxation at the same time. Too many men see foreplay as just something they have to do to get a woman to agree to have sex.