Every elder, every deacon, every Christian ought to strive for that kind of character. Christians are a people of compassion, and happiness, peace and patience, kindness and goodness, faithfulness and meekness, humility and gentleness. The answer is prayer and effort. The fruits of the spirit are not things that just happpen. We must consciously work for them.
People pay big bucks looking for answers to that question.
I am going to give you the answer for free. Prayer and Practice. I realize that this is not the kind of message that people want to hear, but it is true anyway. We work for something like self-control just like we work for anything else. There is no free lunch.