But it doesn't have to be this way. When Anna, a journalist from London, married Guy three years ago, the reception was held at Guy's family home. She helped Anna find a local marquee company, produced a cousin who ran a catering company and offered the flowers in her garden for the wedding. Sue Barnston, co-owner of Perfect Day, a company which organises weddings, suggests that a good way to involve the parents of the groom is to arrange for them to take responsibility for some concrete aspect of the day. This can range from the mother of the groom offering to bake the cake, to the groom's parents offering to pay for some aspect of the reception as a present to the couple, be it the drink, the music or the venue.
People like to take responsibility for something specific.
In fact, rather than resenting the new burden, many groom's parents are only too happy to pitch in. Advertising executive Ben is set to marry his long-term girlfriend Lucy in September. Lucy's family situation is complicated by divorce and a falling-out with her father, so the wedding will take place close to Ben's family home. Of course, they would never have interfered if Lucy had wanted it differently, but they were delighted when we asked for their help. Some couples feel reluctant to ask the groom's parents for financial help, but would still like them to be involved.