Our imago is a composite image of the positive and negative traits of your parents and you probably are attracted to older women because they remind you of your mother, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just enjoy it and don't let people tease you about it. If you are very young, you might like older women because you want to learn about sex. It's so very hard to find someone with high morals and still be able to have some fun. I hope you are doing it because of morals or religious reasons rather than for fear.
Physical intimacy is the closest one can get.
If you are saving yourself, a lot of times it is a smoke screen of getting close to someone. It is not that you're crazy. You just might have a reserve against getting close to someone. You might want to see a therapist about this. We used to have sex everyday, but now it is only like once a week.