Desire is at the foundation of sexuality and mating. The desires of one sex determine which tactics of attraction should be used by the opposite sex. The fulfillment of desires within a relationship helps fulfill effective mate retention tactics. Effective mate retention then can produce harmony between the sexes. Men and women both have short and long term strategies in their choosing who to mate with.
Preferences shift according to what strategy they are trying to pursue.
Both sexes show as desiring mates that are kind, intelligent, dependable, and healthy, suggesting that sex differences only show up where different preferences might make a difference in terms of ability to pass along genes. Whatever qualities lead to success in same-sex competitions can evolve because of the reproductive advantage that accrues to the victor through increasing sexual access. Within relationships, violations of desires constitute key causes of conjugal dissolution. For instance, if men violated women's preferences of good financial prospects, or cues that lead to resources such as ambition, industriousness, and social status, conjugal dissolution may occur. The same goes for men's preferences of physical attractiveness and youth, both known cues to a woman's fertility and reproductive value.