The next time this happened, I suggested that we give him time to come up with his own answer. Five minutes went by and then almost ten. And then he spoke up. He proceeded to speak from his heart in a way that astounded his wife. We all learned that he was capable of finding his heart-he just needed more time.
Men seem to have different mental processors for feelings.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a 286, it's just slower. Give men a chance, give them time. One way to give men more time is to write to them rather than talk to them. By writing a note, you give the man the freedom to read it more than once, to take it with him to work or the john, and, importantly, to respond in his own time. I know couples who have a terrible time in talking about their grief but when they start writing notes to each other, they gain a greater understanding.