A gigolo only screws one person at a time. A vampire only sucks blood at night. Two lawyers were shipwrecked on a desert island. After several weeks, they saw a beautiful mermaid swim by. One lawyer says to the other, Hey, let's screw her.
Lawyers sometimes tell the truth - they'll do anything to win a case.
Every day for the next two weeks the same man called back, and the same exchange occurred. One's a bottom dwelling scum sucker and the other's a fish. A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he's had enough.