The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke. If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction. Coffee machines only brake down on the graveyard shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town. To error is human, to forgive is against department policy. Shatterproof flashlights seldom are. You will remain in perfect health until your days off. Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.