There's got to be a better way. So I walked into a private club and asked for an application form. They thought I wanted a job. And there were dress codes telling me how far my shorts can be from my kneecaps. At the public golf course, you don't have to worry if your clothes are legal and golfers are dressed to mow the lawn in cutoffs and T-shirts.
Rules are a little more lenient.
I've been searching in vain for someone I can beat. I've tried playing children and little old ladies. I even entered a blind golfers' tournament and couldn't win. Then I heard about the Bad Golfers Association Tournament in Kansas City. I did quite poorly but, alas, didn't win there either.