Place your right hand over a hot mug of joe and recite the following words. Swear that they are true, and you will feel better. At least for a couple of minutes, anyway.
Instant coffee is surely the devil's handiwork.
I promise I will not drink in haste. But if I must, I will ceremoniously take a quick swig and then swear out loud when my break is over. I promise to clean my coffee machines regularly and dutifully follow my product maintenance agreement. I hereby declare that Cream is ok. Let it be known that these are the ground rules by which I must abide.