Real Teacher develop tics in their eyes around March or April. Real Teachers are really surprised by surprise parties. Real Teachers are ditto machine mechanics in disguise. Real Teachers know all the words to the Pledge of Allegiance, The Star Spangled Banner, and the Alma Mater. Real Teachers give credible James Bond performances when confronted by the 240 pound bully in the third row.
Real Teachers memorize the names of each new wave of rock stars.
Real Teachers don't volunteer for lunch duty. Real Teachers can't find their hall passes. Real Teachers don't wash chalkboards. Real Teachers never have a pencil even though the undergraduates in the School for Real Teachers do. Real Teachers take Excedrin before show and tell time.