Relationships Department Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. I am newly married to a man who loves me, but I have trouble believing that he can truly love me despite my being 25 pounds over my ideal weight. I have difficulty accepting that he would want me as is. Your husband loved you enough to marry you despite or perhaps because of your being over your ideal weight.
Many men actually prefer a woman with some meat on their bones.
What I get from your question is that you don't love you very much and probably wouldn't have married yourself because of your weight. This seems to be an example of how your own beliefs about yourself can be projected onto someone else. It appears to be hard for you to accept that someone could have a different perception than your own and could love you even when you do not love yourself. Most frequently we learn to love ourselves because we felt the love and adoration from people around us during the early years of life and internalized it. If it was missing, or insufficient, we feel a sense of longing or craving.