Sometimes the one abused was their mother, who passively suffered at the hands of their father, and they developed a contempt for the feminine which they perceived as inherent weakness. That the source of their vulnerability goes back to relationships with men is not surprising. All women, because of man's greater physical strength and fallen nature, are potential victims of male control and domination. The ultimate expression of this is rape, but other forms of abuse are all around us. Our observation has been that at the root of most lesbianism lies a terrible wounding which has taken a fear that most women have, and expanded it to life dominating proportions.
Safety is equated with control.
This spirit of control is most evident in the lesbian woman's relationship with men, but it carries over into relationships with other women. Most women who come to us reveal stories of highly controlling relationships. Manipulation, jealousy, co-dependency all seem to characterize these relationships. The great emotional needs flowing out of such a woman's woundedness, may demand that she meet these needs by controlling another woman. This is not an unusual form of human behavior.