There are many reasons that children lose out. What children lose when their parents split is their family. It is a fallacy to think of divorce as something that happens between a husband and wife. What was once the basis of security and protection for the children no longer exists. A child of divorce has his very foundation pulled from beneath him with no say in the matter.
Parents move away, sometimes siblings get split up, intensely loyal family members take sides.
The family structure disappears into thin air when a marriage dissolves. The vast majority of these adults described their reactions to the divorce as a pain or emptiness that never goes away, a pain that continues to affect many aspects of their adult lives. The divorce of my parents has left a hole in my heart. What is particularly striking is the freshness of the memories despite the distance time placed between those interviewed and their parents' divorce. It may be welcomed.