A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem. A modem doesn't require any foreplay - just an initialization command. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
Modems come with an instruction manual.
You can enjoy beer all month long. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.