For example it is common for men to grieve miscarriage differently than women. Acceptance of the range and differences in feelings promotes healing. The power of rituals to carry the pain and grief are impactful for working through this stage of healing. Research on families of holocaust victims revealed to us that it was the families who talked about the past that were capable of transforming deep levels of despair into future capacity for coping, living and loving. Children who came from families in which their parents did not express and continue to process the tragedy as it came up in family life, experienced greater degrees of dysfunction, particularly depression.
Repression breeds depression.
Expression is the antidote to dysfunction following trauma. Do not be afraid or condemn yourself for your son's emotionality. The fact that he is showing it to you means he feels safe to let down his guard. Because, at first our experience may be too deep for words. Putting poetry, drawings, gardening or music to our feelings can help us cope with them.