Very tasty little particles you can order by phone. Particles that cheating physicists make up to balance a tricky equation. Particle track that cheating physicists glue onto a bubble chamber photograph to make it look as if something new is happening. Look like real sub-atomic particles, but on closer inspection are completely bogus and worthless. The most attractive particles in the universe.
Gravity is entirely due to the action of the little suckers.
Slow moving particles that seem to have trouble catching their breath. Sweet little particles with a light dusting of sugar. Good time parties that move in jiving sort of path. The Big Bang. Contrary to popular belief, Space is not huge.