A thermostat works by warming or cooling the room a little bit then checking for feedback . It measures the new room temperature against the desired temperature and corrects the temperature based on that feedback. Temperature controls without feedback mechanisms, like the ones in most automobiles, are far less accurate and require constant tweaking by the user. Likewise, I can be much more effective in the way I interact with the world if I learn how to use feedback. Useful feedback consists of accurate data in how I effect those around me.
Most people like to give advice rather than feedback.
Advice is less useful in most cases, because it goes through a level of interpretation and filtering through someone else s worldview and agenda before it gets to me. The kind of feedback that is most useful is the raw perceptions, interpretations, and feelings directly experienced by a person. When you asked for my help in reviewing your book, I felt excited and honored, and a little bit nervous. I had the thought that I might not be up to the challenge, but I was definitely motivated to help. That s good feedback.