The child reasons if one can parent can leave, then the other parent might leave too. The child needs steady reassurance that the child will not be abandoned. Hopefully, the reassurance can come from both parents, including through substantial contact with both parents. Young children also are concerned that the parent who is moving out will not be taken care of or will not have a place to stay. Some of those concerns can be alleviated by promptly showing the child where the departing dad or mom will live.
Many children feel powerless and vulnerable in the period during and following a divorce.
Assuming the child liked both parents, the child wants to stop the divorce, but cannot. Children often blame themselves for the divorce and think if they had done something different that their parents would not be divorcing. Although nothing takes all the pain out of divorce for a child, Dr. Wallerstein notes that the manner in which children are told about a divorce will have a lasting effect on them. Telling the child that the divorce will not make a difference also is unwise. Obviously, the divorce will make a difference.