His actions during those 35 years were not hypocrisy. It was training. Similarly we can pray for those who we feel we cannot love. God is divine, we are human. God, although divine, can live in me to such an extent that His love can act in me, can transform my human love with His divine love.
Love is the path to eternity.
It is like the pain that comes from learning to use a limb after an injury. The paralyzed person comes to think of his condition as normal. The pain that one must pass through in overcoming paralysis feels like death. Sometimes saints, because they are willing to suffer the pain of love, are described as masochists. But self-giving love is not a psychological illness, no more than the mother who responds to her child's needs is ill because she lives for another.