Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.