Here I have a beaker full of lye that is ready and willing to eat through my paper, and a beaker of hydrochloric acid that is equally willing to perform the same deed. In this case, simple table salt. I poured the beaker of hydrochloric acid into the beaker of sodium hydroxide, then proudly dropped my paper into the mixture, where it did NOT disintegrate. I cheered to myself. I reached into the salt water I had created, retrieved the paper, and handed it to Dr. Sawyer.
Re-type it and hand it in tomorrow.
It was going to be a long four years.