For Fingerman's children, the opposite is true. When our daughter was small, people used to ask me where she got her blonde hair. Once their daughter was old enough to answer such questions herself, Fingerman and her husband helped her develop responses she felt comfortable with. They also pointed out traits she shared with them and other family members. All things considered, Fingerman says raising an adopted child is pretty much the same as raising a biological child.
Parents have to talk to their kids about all sorts of issues as they grow up.
When one of your children is adopted, adoption is just one more issue to discuss. Fingerman adds that parenting has been different the second time around for her mainly because her children are unique individuals with different personalities and needs, not because one is biological and the other adopted. The same holds true for Cecilia and Stan. Adoption Connection often refers new parents to support groups offered through Parents Place, a family resource center located downstairs from Adoption Connection. They also put clients in touch with other adoptive parents who want to start their own support groups.