When parents are hurried and tense, babies are often fussy and uncooperative. When parents are more relaxed and can focus their attention on the baby rather than on the task to be done, a feeling of warmth and security is shared. Parents who play with their infants and respond quickly to their needs, give them a message that they are important. Positive self esteem does not come from allowing children to do whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it. As children grow, they need to believe in themselves and to know that they have some freedom to make choices and to take responsibility for the decisions they make.
Good communication is another goal of effective parenting.
But good communication is more than just words. Often the words a child says do not tell parents how the child is feeling. Parents need to listen hard for the feelings and explore them with the child. To communicate effectively with the child, the parent must first explore the feeling behind the words, second, accept the child's feelings without saying they shouldn't feel that way, and lastly work on some different solutions to the problem together. These statements let the child know what the parent is feeling, thinking, or intending.