Great and useful as they all are, they all substitute for family time, and many create competition rather than cooperation among and between family members. Furthermore, many of these teams, clubs, guilds, camps, and societies become the identity or self-image or pride of individuals more than do their own families and in this sense they become substitutes for family and pull away our allegiance and our attention as well as our time. So many of these recreational, social, and cultural things happen during hours that traditionally have been family time. Instead of rushing from work to home, we rush from work to bowling leagues or to the spa or to the concert or to the bridge club. Instead of a family dinner we re-fuel on the run at McDonald's.
Many parents consider the games and the camps and the clubs as their family time.
They are with their kids, taking them places, watching them. But these are poor substitutes for the old traditional kinds of family time. There is little interaction between and about family members. Attention is focused on competition and comparing rather than on cooperation and communication, and the logistics and expenses of getting to everything, outfitting for everything, paying for everything creates its share of stress and family tensions. Few of us would like to do away with the recreational and social opportunities that these elements of society give us, but most all parents, when they think about it, recognize the need to limit and govern and think about their families' involvement and the tradeoffs and sacrifices that are involved.