Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam's. Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher's lounge. Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks have been seen grading in church. Real teachers know that sixth graders get hormones from Santa at Christmas. Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a school day.
Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.
Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line. Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair. Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning around. Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their bladders and kidneys. Real teachers wear glasses from trying to read the fine print in the teacher's manual.