Using spirit in mediation means discovering what the conflict means at a deep level, exploring what lies beneath its surface. It means turning inward, letting go, and discovering what it feels like to be on the other side. It means acting on values and integrity, finding common ground, resolving the reasons that led to the dispute, and reaching forgiveness and reconciliation. It means authenticity, wholeness, and transformation. Spiritually, mediation is an effort to escape false dichotomies of self and others that are reflected in a seemingly endless game of victory and de-feat, sympathy and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, characteristic of chronic conflicts.
Most people respond to conflict out of fear, anger and shame.
They become frightened that something terrible will happen if they drop their defenses or invite their conflicts in. Yet doing so frees them of fear, releases their anger, and makes them unashamed. I have a much better view of the moon. We operate under a mistaken assumption that what we do when we are in conflict is more important than who we are. But we are not reducible to our actions any more than to our thoughts, emotions, and senses.