Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and a guy couldn t possibly pull it off. Men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve, and when they do, the first things that come to mind are product names like Craftsman, Chia, and Clapper. Men don t read their mail, much less respond to it. Men would not have reindeer pulling the sleigh, but shot dead and strapped to its rear bumper. A man couldn t possibly deliver all of those gifts because sooner or later he d get lost and have to stop and ask for directions.
Men can t pack a bag to save their lives.
A man wouldn t get caught dead wearing red velvet. Men aren t interested in stockings unless a pretty woman is wearing them. Being seen with all of those elves would threaten a man s masculinity too much. Being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. They would have asked directions.