I know that is easier said than done. I know if you're one of the people who have a crazy Ex Wife to deal with that this will be doubly hard for you. But if you force yourself not to react to her you'll live a happier life and prolong your marriage. Get caller ID and don't pick up the phone when it's her unless you have to. If you train yourself not to react to her eventually it will become second nature and she will give up her games.
Games are only fun if everyone is participating.
If there are legal issues let your lawyer and her lawyer deal with it. Don't enter into the fray there is no point in it. It will only make things worse. You don't need to know everything there is to know about his Ex. It will only cause you to think about her more than you already do.