It's disenfranchised grief. The day the divorce is finalized may pass unnoticed. Family and friends aren't bringing food and casseroles. From society's viewpoint, you couldn't make the marriage work, or you weren't right together anyway. So expressions of grief are somehow unacceptable.
Friends grow impatient.
If a man has been successful solving problems in his job but can't control his marriage, he's thrown by it. All this works against a man when he feels inside that he has a lot to cry about. H usbands who are betrayed frequently claim that a wife's death would have been easier to absorb than the reality of her leaving for another man or in search of freedom. Men feel abandoned. There's no other message when a wife leaves a husband.