Most of your working hours are at work. Your job as a leader is to go around with a pump and pump self-confidence into people so they can be the best they can be. They're not just victims. Don't ever be a victim. Part of your process is this brutal honesty.
False kindness is the cruelest form of management.
Give somebody a nice appraisal, tell them they're doing fine, but don't give them a great raise knowing they're not very good. Let the next guy take care of him, fire him. People would get to their 50s, when their obligations are at their highest. Kids in school, options limited, because they're older. I've got 20 years of nice appraisals.