I'd be just as happy to stay right here. If that sounds bitter, I have a right to be. We got elected, Socks. I understand That even though the place is grand, The White House and the White House grounds Have long been used as a home for hounds, Big hairy dogs, great fithy louts With muddy feet and drippy snouts. Before this cat strolls through the door, Every room and every floor Must be cleaned and steamed and swept and sanded, And all the backyard be replanted.
Dogs are brutes, they just squat and do it.
I may be criticized, I may be vilified, But that White House must be deMilliefied. No one will have access to me. When his approval ratings drop, Or run alongside as he jogs on the beach Or smiles adoringly during a speech. Let me say planly, as life is my teacher, A cat is not a political creature. I don't press the flesh or get with the plan.