Naming a trustee is a business decision just like any other business decision. Because a trustee is charged with so many responsibilities, it should not be a position that you give to somebody out of love. Unfortunately, many people put a lot of time and effort into creating the plan, but don't really consider the role of the successor trustee. An alternative to naming a person as your trustee is to select a corporate trustee. Choosing a corporate trustee saves your family members from a lot of responsibilities, and the more dollars involved, the greater those responsibilities are.
Many people choose to name a family member as cotrustee with a corporate trustee.
The role of a trustee is so multifaceted that there are going to be a number of costs associated with it, regardless of who's serving in the role. Let's assume you name your son or daughter to be your trustee. Upon your death, he or she will have to hire somebody to do tax returns, the custodial functions, the recordkeeping, the collection of all principal and income from the investments in the trust, and the proper allocations among principal and income accounts. Somebody has to do the document review to ensure the estate plan you created is still in compliance with federal and state laws. The individual trustee will be hiring an accountant, an attorney, and probably a financial institution to be custodian of the assets.