You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract - therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn't help.
Judgments only hold the patterns in place.
Just do your best. Your answers lie inside you. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust. Your will forget all this.