The Ten Worst High Tech Gadgets has some good suggestions. You might want to consider gouging out your eyes. Indian scientists added insult to injury by blinding impotent gerbils. Apparently, this made five of the eight gerbils start boffing for the first time in their lives. More details at Blinded gerbils' sex drive is boosted .
Romanian soldiers are the rudest in the world.
They salute by giving one another the finger. Check out Error instructs soldiers to give obscene salute for the proof. It's that arc you see everywhere. That partial ellipse. That space-age boomerang.