They always find someone else to blame for anything they perceive is wrong. No matter what efforts others make to help them and make them feel better, the person with martyrdom is unhappy and unappreciative. Other people start to avoid them because they are so unpleasant to be around. How Martyrdom Develops Parents may force a child to be compliant at all costs. Parent shame, humiliate or severely punish the child if they do not do what they are told.
Parents are very dominating and controlling.
As adults, the person grows up feeling they must be good, but they suppress their own rage and hatred, because they feel they are not worthy of expressing their true feelings. They create a life for themselves that looks like they are victims. They will not and cannot allow anyone to help. Their friends leave them and they fulfill their fear of abandonment. People with martyrdom will defeat any attempts to help them.