Some blame their abuse on booze or on their lousy childhood. Others deny it ever happened or minimize the incident to the point where it barely qualifies as abuse at all. The fight erupted because dinner wasn't ready when the man arrived home from work. Experts say many men relentlessly denigrate their partners to justify their abuse. In any case, the beating is for her own good - to make her shape up and fly right.
Many men justify their violence by portraying themselves as the victim.
Whatever the justification, most batterers truly don't view themselves as the bad guy. A lot of the men are genuinely shocked when they're arrested. The man claims to be cursed with a hair-trigger temper and insists his partner should have known better than to contradict him when he was angry. Anger is not an excuse because anger itself, does not necessarily lead to violence, Martin Luther King was an angry man, but he channeled that anger into fighting injustice. Because most men are very much in control, they often present a very different face to the community than they do at home.