My feeling is that when two people are as old as we are, we have a history. I should not be afraid of relating that histroy consistent with the context and mood of the ongoing conversation. This event happened between my exwife and I over 20 years ago. I do not speak of exlovers by name nor do I dwell on or frequently bring up old loves. You've been having trouble with this relationship for between five and ten years.
Relationships are like business deals.
They either get better or they get worse, and once they've started in that downward spiral, it's almost impossible to turn them around. You've been in a downward spiral with this woman for so long, I doubt if it can turn itself around. She's not going to stop being critical, and criticism is a relationship killer. Nobody wants to be criticized. Everyone wants to be appreciated.