In a press release today, the Archbishop of Canterbury announced that as of today the Church of England would be taking radical new steps to streamline its business. This will include the immediate demolition of all mediaeval church buildings. Not to mention the precious land that these rather old and outdated buildings are occupying. The first thing I want to do is take down those awkward chancel steps and chisel off the carvings on the old round font so I can use it to flatten my bowling green.
Goodness knows why.
The villagers will be handsomely paid off. The new scheme will be given its first trial in Suffolk. All rights reserved.