This takes time. See chapter 15. Don't get uptight about exploring your psyche. It would be unwise to dwell on your unconscious, but even more foolish to not consider these factors at all. Think of it as an adventure, have fun.
Every mind is fascinating.
What a shame that many people never explore their unconscious at all. Avoid the stressful situation or person, change your environment. Seek support from friends, counselors, self-help groups, etc. Observe and model a person successfully handling the scary situation. Recognize that faulty thinking may be the cause of your stress.