Emotional pain ensues. Change causes insecurity and uncertainty and punctures past memories and feelings. Because of the pain, the sufferer searches for an anesthetic to dull the agony of the crashing dominoes. In searching for a way to cope with the pain, people look for something that will anesthetize it, even for a short time. They start with becoming preoccupied with the addictive agent.
Preoccupation creates a desire to act out the thoughts.
Before acting out can occur, some planning is necessary. This is called the ritual. Rituals may take 5 minutes or 5 hours or 5 years. Just like the fantasies in the preoccupation stage, the ritual may itself be exciting. Sex addicts must learn that this is really not the case.