We think it is fair to say a lot of awareness is to be gained by tackling a prenuptial agreement with eyes open. The process of gaining that awareness that might be painful at the moment of discovery but if partners demonstrate the fortitude to work it through early on, their relationship stands a much better chance of going more smoothly over the long run. Boundaries established early make for less conflict later on. Though pre-nups can be helpful for starting couples in their life together, very definite costs are incurred as years go by. In ordinary circumstances a couple grows together with the intent of forming a whole, a unit with two equal individuals operating together.
Prenuptial agreements have a tendency to perpetuate imbalances and inequity.
And while a pre-nup is in place there is no incentive or need to work on building the trust that it takes to create that whole unit. As one partner controls more assets, he or she, always has more power and control in the relationship. Over a period of years, the partner with fewer assets begins to feel as if he or she is committing everything, whereas the holder of the agreement is not. If you are going to work this through successfully, you are going to have to be very understanding and be willing to negotiate. If you are determined to pursue a contractual arrangement, and you ultimately desire a relationship between two equal, fully cooperating partners, we suggest that you will probably need to include some kind of sunset clause in the contract.