Football players soon learn, though, that being in touch with their feelings is dysfunctional that acknowledging his pain would lead to him leaving the game. And then the cheerleader would no longer cheer for him. She would cheer for his replaceable part. Our sons need love and approval too much to look underneath the cheering that her cheering is not for who he is, but for his willingness to deny his feelings. Our sons are still learning to receive love by sacrificing their bodies.
Few parents protest.
Our daughters are still giving their love to men who perform, and watching mothers do the same. Few of our sons have castles to offer. When these fantasies of security become the trauma of divorce, our daughters demonize the men who failed to save them. They join First Wives' Clubs. Their fantasy of being swept away has been swept away.