There is an intimacy and a depth of knowing that allows us to be at one with it, and with ourselves, in such a way that it is God-like. At that moment, and perhaps, at that stage, we are at essence, one with essence, essentially one. There can be no scurrying, no searching, no doing, just stillness and being that provide the silence for knowing. Encephalitis has freed you up to go inward in a way you've never gone. To reclaim your brain you've had to listen to it, work with it, focus on its every message, and respect its every need.
Nothing is more introspective, and nothing is more integrated.
The messages are as thoughts, as emotions, as electrical currents, as muscle spasms, as memory lapses, as inability to sequence or focus, as inability to stay awake or to sleep at night, as racing energy and no energy. The list is endless. Every aspect of your being is affected and lets you know it, if you will listen and attend, and you do. As a result, you have transcended to the highest level of knowing as it takes you to its depths. You are experiencing the awesome magnitude of knowing.