It was of an abusive smelly old man violating me in the baptismal tank as he beat my head against it's wall while calling me queer and condemning me to hell. It is of a father who would rather beat his child then hug him. It is of adults who look upon their children as toys to be played with and then later discarded as unwanted liabilities. All this in the name of Christ, this is my stepping off point.
Experiences often fail.
All to often it is the experiences themselves that are the cause of the nightmares. However, I also started to attend the Metropolitan Community Church here in Sioux Falls to support other gay Christians in their struggles of faith. During one evening's offering of the sacraments I nearly ran from the Cathedral. I was overwhelmed with fear. An uncontrollable image bombarded my senses.