All because Sam and Steve had different automatic thoughts. What they see through their different core beliefs appear like entirely different situations. But in the field of mental health, depression and sadness are not the same thing at all. If the loss is big enough, sadness may be very painful and intense, also called grief. But even that's not depression.
Sadness is one ingredient in the sickening stew of depression.
Gay men and Lesbians don't have to be stuck with the same negative core beliefs learned as children from unhealthy families and an oppressive society. Cognitive therapy teaches people to change their automatic thoughts and core beliefs to more accurately reflect reality. The author, a psychotherapist in private practice in D.C., coordinates volunteers who lead Whitman-Walker support groups for Lesbians and Gay men. Some people may benefit more with the help of professional cognitive therapy in individual or group sessions.