You have to walk a fine line here. Genuine respect, caring, and a hefty interest in what they are all about is critical. You must create it. Detail by detail. Years ago, Dr. Roger Levin gave us a terrific definition of marketing.
Marketing is forty simultaneous, consistent, positive messages.
Perception is reality. In order to create their reality, we must painstakingly orchestrate a symphony of perception. Every little detail counts. Now that's easy. Even before the first phone call.