Pat was a married mother who suffered from years of binge eating and starving. She had no control over either habit. Before going into their individual stories, I would first like to elaborate on the question of why self help advice and will power fail to help many people overcome their weight problems in spite of successes they may have in solving other problems in their life. The solution to any problem first requires discovering the underlying cause. But unfortunately the causes of their problems remained hidden.
Most people say yes.
Because they think that the knowledge they have now would enable them to escape their parents' worst flaws. Instead of assuming that their parent's bad behavior was a result of something they did, they would understand that their parent's behavior is just their behavior and has nothing to do with them. You think there is something inherently wrong with them because your experience in life has taught you that their offensive behavior is independent of you. The unfriendly waiter is just unfriendly. Therefore, since it is not your fault, you do not become personally affected by this person's bad behavior.