In this case each misinterpreted the other's desires and was more concerned about the other's needs than his or her own. Their lack of communication and understanding added to their stress and hampered their choice of a mutually satisfying treatment program. When Bryan and Debbie began to share their feelings, they became happier and even more committed to finding a happy ending that was right for them. Comparing your test responses to your spouse's will help you see what is important to each of you instead of trying to outguess one another, as this couple had been doing. Believing that your marriage cannot survive without children is not unusual for an infertile couple.
Marriages actually do survive without children.
In fact, population statistics indicate that marriages sometimes become less stable when children are introduced The highest incidence of divorce occurs soon after the birth of the first child. I don't state this to frighten you, but to offer you some perspective. Children may add stress to a relationship because of their demands and impact on the couplets lifestyle. Moreover, the birth of a child will not stabilize an already rocky relationship. As with Michael and Shelley, the foundation of your marriage may be stronger than you think.