Part of our focus is recognizing and supporting things that work in our community. The special meeting was an excellent opportunity to do so. Unfortunately, once you know what the signs are, you see affected people all around you. Ending domestic violence requires each of us to start looking at the issue differently and making commitments to be a part of the change versus the problem. One method of doing so is recognizing that divorces and other life altering events involving families affected by domestic violence cannot be handled as routine family legal interventions.
Safety is an important concern throughout the proceedings.
Referral of victims to local domestic violence centers is imperative for adequate safety planning. Filing for divorce, filing for an injunction for protection, leaving the home, or making any other move toward independence is interpreted by the abuser as a loss of control and therefore dangerous in this relationship. Similarly, mediation is inappropriate due to the power imbalance in the relationship. Victims may not be able to articulate their fear or concern of entering into this kind of meeting and will go along with the idea of mediation in hopes that everything will be okay. They rarely are, no matter how proficient the mediator is.