Furthermore we have to give the relationship a significance of its own. Our relationship is not me and it is not him, but us. Sometimes what is good for me or good for him is not good for us. Or rather, what is good for us may be better than what is good for either of us alone. Research demonstrates that people in relationship are generally happier over the course of their lives than people living alone.
Relationships give meaning to life.
Sharing our lives with someone else makes life s events matter more. Learning to accept that we cannot always get what we want in or out of relationship is a sign of maturity when balanced with also being able to hold onto what is important to us as individuals and not giving up on it when our partner doesn t agree. The key is learning to trust that the relationship can hold this tension. If we simply accede to our partner s view and give up our own, we both lose. At some level, giving up on what we want without staying in process and continuing to talk it through, leads to resentment, withdrawal, hostility or other negative relational aspects.