Don't be in a rush. If you have been impatient in the past with a child who you think is too easily crushed by setbacks, this strategy may enable him to move on more quickly. A good rule of thumb is to wait until he's no longer furious or crying. Crying, Dacey adds, is something parents should encourage, even for boys. Tears are literally loaded with adrenaline.
Physical activity helps, too.
The last step is to empower a child by helping him see he has choices still available. Leave it to him to come up with actual solutions, though. The more thoughts on the table, the more in control a child begins to feel. For Ben Flaim, two things helped him almost immediately. After he read his rejection letter, he took the train from his home in Queens, N.Y., back to school in Manhattan to tell his guidance counselor.