They are not afraid. YOU are afraid, and people don't understand why. They tell you that you need rest, but you say you are frightened. They try to comfort you by saying they will be here when you wake up. You aren't afraid you won't wake up, the fear comes from the fact that you might wake up.
Nothing makes any sense any more.
You struggle to figure out how to fight and then you fight for them. There are no precedent rules here. The system teaches you to work in a group and tells you that's the way it will be in the real world. When the stakes get higher than the system's comfort level, it turns its back on your and leaves you to think for yourself. It's not morbid or suicidal, that would be intentionally killing yourself.