I just need to find out what that is. Incidentally, I am 39 years old. Maybe you are trying to force yourself to lead a life that is not yours, therfore you suffer. I decided to make this move to be closer to them both geographically and spiritually. I got the geography but still have not received the spirituality part of it.
Nothing seems to click.
I have had 4 jobs that either I've quit or gotten asked to leave. I left an area that I loved, the ocean and people that I knew and felt comfortable with to make this major transition. I have a habit of moving around and really am trying to settle in. But there is a part of me that cannot call any place home. I have sought meditation and yoga and am grateful for both of those.