As important as it is to be able to lovingly confront your mate when you have a conflict, it's also important not to be judgmental. It's essential that you don't just see your spouse's flaws while ignoring your own. Check your motivation.
Prayer is a good barometer of motivation.
When you take your situation to God you can usually see your motivation for what it is. Check your attitude. I respect you and I want you to respect me. I want you to know how I feel, but I want to know how you feel, too. Don't hop on your bulldozer and run your partner down.