Ask him to contribute to problem solving related to your deep desires that need expression at this time. Ask him what he sees as his and the children's needs in the family. If you feel that the last twelve years of the marriage have meant far more sacrifice for you than for him, your intimacy is already at risk. Intimacy and mutual love flourishes under a sense of fairness and equality. If your husband is able to see his way clear to supporting your deepest desire through problem solving and compromise, he will benefit from the growth of affection you will have for him.
Marriage is a contract between two people.
Communication is essential to problem solving. If your husband continues to sabotage you by telling your friends not to vote for you, he is undermining the marriage. Such undermining and inability to communicate, discuss and solve problems is the major reason couples divorce. Take your feelings seriously. Seek professional counseling if necessary to clearly get the message across to your husband that his method of thwarting you is destructive to everyone.