When playing sports, cheat if the opponent is ignorant. Only adjust yourself when no one is looking. Blow your nose in the shower. Wheat bread is better than white. Always carry a number 2 pencil in your book bag.
Peanuts is a horrible comic strip.
Buy an answering machine that works. Learn how to iron correctly. Write things on your hands that you don t want to forget. Always choose Nacho Cheese Doritos over the Cool Ranch. When you fart, deny it at all costs and blame it on a friend nearby.