The all-pervasive, engulfing melancholy of somnolence. I wake up sinking, converging on a black hole of screams and pain. I withdraw in horror. I don't want to go there. I cannot go there.
People often mistake depression for emotion.
And this is wrong. True, depression is a big component in a narcissist's emotional make-up. But it mostly has to do with the absence of narcissistic supply. It mostly has to do with nostalgia to more plentiful days, full of adoration and attention and applause. Some narcissists even cry - but they cry exclusively for themselves and for their lost paradise.