Speak up about your own thoughts and feelings, but offer positive suggestions for what you want changed, rather than only complaints about what is wrong. Let him know that you are confused by his alternating sweetness and sarcasm. Ask him if he understands what it is that bothers you. Seriously consider the likelihood that there are many issues which have no doubt built up over the years and reflect on whether there have been recent changes in your lives which could be exacerbating the unresolved tensions between you. It is also possible that after 23 years, you are the one who is changing.
Marriage is a vessel for nurturing the growth and development of two individuals over time.
Changes over the life cycle requires major shifts in the marital container in order to adjust to ever-changing needs and circumstances. Perhaps it is time for you and your husband to review the past, take stock of the present and envision the future. Your current situation could be an invitation to embark upon a true discovery of who you each are at this point in your life cycle. Invite your husband to reinvent your marriage with you. Do not shy away from getting professional consultation individually, or with your husband if your confusion does not clear.