Some events are out of order, or more time clues are needed. Some events aren't necessary to tell this story. I've included some details, but I need more. My voice could be stronger. The ending seems unfinished.
Mistakes sometimes make the story hard to read.
There's no real beginning. The story starts abruptly. The order of events is confusing. I've left out important information or included unimportant details. The story is too general.