Torture changes a person for life. Survivors are profoundly affected physically, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually by unimaginably cruel acts,such as having one's head forced repeatedly into a barrel of filthy liquids to the point of near drowning, being forced to drink a gallon of gasoline, or being forced to watch a child be tortured. Sometimes what may sound to us as less traumatizing experiences than these are reported by a survivor as being intolerable to the point of madness, such as living for years in a small cell packed with sixty people, suffering from fleas, insect bites, hot, stagnant air, and the stench of excrement from the hole in the floor. The sequelae of torture are profound and can be disabling if the survivor does not have appropriate treatment. Severe sleep disturbances are common.
Many survivors report being able to sleep only an hour every night.
Nightmares and flashbacks make the torture a reality again, and always there are the memories, intruding when least expected. A torture survivor's sense of self-worth is deeply affected, his ability to trust is shattered, and his sense of a safe world is obliterated. Many survivors report startling easily and being hypervigilant, constantly on the alert for danger. One survivor nearly put his fist through my wall when a colleague slammed a file cabinet drawer in the next room. Torture can destroy a person's ability to feel joy.