I'm not as certain. My daughters were not welcoming to him, and that is a huge concern for him. He very firmly brought to my attention that the girls are my highest priority. Something that in my codependency can fade from my awareness. I am not anywhere near as healthy as I had hoped I was.
Recovery happens in stages.
But my being able to see these things, I think, is probably monumental in itself in my recovery. Most lessons learned in life are learned through the living and feeling of joys and sorrows, and of finding someplace in between for solace and comfort. The hardest lesson may well be that the solace must come from within. How many times I have read or heard that sage advice. I know not how to find the answers for my hungry heart without grasping and holding moments closely.