The shame is mine and I'm not afraid to own it, yet it speaks to something that is much larger. If you're a high-profile athlete in the United States, in contrast, you are expected to appear feminine and sensual when not on the playing field. Lesbians who don't follow these guidelines often don't get their due, either in news media attention or in public or private acceptance. Whether an athlete or coach is heterosexual or homosexual, the cliche negates the true degree of power, strength and knowledge of women in sports. Except at some small, liberal, Division III colleges, and an occasional university, lesbian coach is a negative identity in American society.
Lesbian athletes fare no better.
And to be a successful female coach or athlete in mainstream America means one has to denounce, hide or ignore one's lesbianism. I can't stand this bias, but I have to admit I've allowed it to influence my own relationship to sports and coaching. I wonder if I will ever choose to be a coach again since the identity feels both restrictive and binding. I still identify myself as an athlete. But I've lost part of my childhood's pure love for sports.