However, cancer also can strain a relationship already stressed by other serious problems. Sometimes the sexual relationship becomes the barometer of a marriage. In a mature relationship, sex is an expression of love, affection, and respect-not the basis for it. I contend this is an excuse not to have sexual relations or to seek a new, more exciting partner. The real reasons for problems were there before the surgery, just as the cancer was there before the diagnosis.
Most people find ways to face and overcome the stresses cancer places on their relationship.
They find strength in each other, and they work together to establish a new and comfortable routine. Sharing their feelings with each other usually has been their first step toward finding effective solutions. Sometimes a trained counselor can help you understand ways in which you can begin helping each other. Family therapists or licensed clinical social workers sometimes should be included in the personal cancer treatment team. Support groups of other couples dealing with cancer can be helpful, even in dealing with intimate problems.