His impulsivity and bad behavior prevent him from being a loving, unselfish, emotionally giving interdependent partner. The caring is one-sided if he behaves impulsively and badly. My walls are up high, however. You seem to love him as a child you wish would grow up into a partner. You seem to love the potential inside of him - which he has not realized.
Partnership is about trust.
We are in the final stage of divorce - he only needs to sign the paper, but pleads with me to give him some hope that we can work it out. Tell him you want him to get serious about recovery. On my side, my self esteem is pretty good. I've had a brief and very positive transitional relationship and got out with the first signs of abusiveness. It's too early for you to be dating.