For people whose loss has just happened, their grief is still in disbelief and any good memories are bittersweet. The fourth Christmas after my husband's death was the hardest for me. Lefty, planning ahead is really important. Putting on a happy face when you are unhappy is exhausting. Small doses of it only.
People worry about ruining other people s holidays.
You are only responsible for your own. When you don't talk about it it becomes the elephant in the room. He deserves to be spoken of. I really have to start doing that. I think about him all the time.