And when you imagine yourself in a Hugh Grant-Colin Firth sandwich, you don't have jowls. So she looks a little ropy, a little drawn. She was just dumped by her boyfriend. I've been on both sides of those 20 pounds and I know. And if you have, so do you.
Life is completely different on either side.
And if you don't believe me, imagine 80 McDonald's Quarter Pounders stuck to your body and try again. So everyone should back off and let her take her jeans off without unbuttoning them for a while. Let her feel like she just had a peek up God's left nostril. Leave her alone. Carina Chocano is a senior writer for Salon People.