Without grandparents, uncles and aunts on hand to help with childcare and household duties, it's up to the father alone to hold up half the sky at home. Sometimes the father is the only one available to help with the babies, and it's often his help that means the most to the babies' mother. Eight out of ten mothers of month-old twins interviewed in the Anderson study said that they appreciated their husbands' help with baby care more than any other help they received. But in most families the father's time and energy are divided between home and work. To further increase the burden, the high cost of childcare for twins often makes the mother's return to work economically impractical.
Paternity leave is rare, if it exists at all, and maternity leave is usually unpaid.
People in general and employers in particular do not tend to be sympathetic to the needs of fathers or of multiple birth families. Even experienced fathers with other singleton children undergo twinshock. Adjustment co multiples may be especially stressful for this group, because they have been parents before and are stunned by how much harder it is with twins, especially during the infant stage. This initial guilt reaction can set the stage for either the father's further involvement with, or disassociation from, his family as a coparent. I would come home from work every night to find the house a mess and my wife in tears, and have two screaming babies thrust into my arms.