Sitting with those seven women gave me the strength to remain in the room as offenders, non-offending spouses, and AMACs expressed themselves and responded to each others' comments and questions. The discussions that take place can be painful and may spark anger from survivors and non-offending spouses. I've learned that many of the offenders fear the anger in these meetings most of all. Although the meeting's structure and the chapter's facilitators help to ensure that no member attacks another either physically or verbally, it can be very frightening to those of us who have trouble being in the same room with an angry person. It is this dynamic that sets Parents United apart from other groups.
Offenders get an opportunity to see the pain, anger, and devastation that sexual child abuse causes.
Although gaining such knowledge doesn't constitute rehabilitation, it is one of the necessary steps. Occasionally, I even have the sense that some offenders actually begin to understand the pervasive, lifelong effects of the crimes they've committed. I learned a great deal by participating when I did. Often the things I learned were very painful. For example, at one meeting I asked how the offenders viewed their victims while they were abusing them.