I need something weighty, pretentious and impenetrable. A big, leathery beefsteak of prose. I must confess to some lingering resentment toward the visual arts, based on my visits to Washington to lobby in Congress for the NEA in the wake of a big outcry over photographs of men with whips up their butts and so forth, but never mind about that. That's all urine under the crucifix now. As for the A.S., no mystery about it.
Jurors like to hear the defendant testify, that's all.
They sit in a committee room, wading through big envelopes of slides and prints, and their eyeballs glaze over and they'd like the bozo who committed all this art to say a word or two. I mean, you can learn so much more about a person that way. Painting is all very nice if you're into decoration and home furnishings and so on, but it's the use of language that separates the men from the boys. So sharpen your pencil and sit down and do it. You don't need to explain your work, just put forth a few lines that suggest, in a serious but not pretentious way, what is new and different about you and your work, your ethos, your sensibility.