For many years I wondered where all this fear and guilt was coming from. In the '80s while researching the parenting literature for my own book, I found an article by Arlene Skolnick pointing out that Americans are obsessed with, anxious and guilt-ridden about parenting. On the one hand the Freudians warned us that the child is vulnerable , kids are delicate, easily damaged creatures. On the other hand, the behaviorists told us that children are malleable , kids are blank slates with nothing written on them until they are molded by their parents. Parents must do the right thing at the right time or their children will not become happy and successful adults.
Parents can, if they only follow our advice, raise superior children who turn into superior adults.
All of the advice based on these theories is part of the nurture assumption and completely overlooks two very important points. Judith Rich Harris has done parents a great service. Guilt and worry are exhausting emotions that undercut the joy of parenting. Than You Think and Peers Matter More. After living in Tucson from age 2 to 6, Harris and her family moved to New York until she was 12, when the family returned here.