But nothing really ever lasts, good things or bad. I get frustrated dealing with ups and downs so frequently, but it's better than before when I was always low, always on the floor. Get on that horse again is what the old saying says. I think this horse may die of old age before I ever get into a canter, so I've decided to take up walking. Walking back towards school, towards a social life, towards things I love.
Every day is a struggle.
It's that time of day when the sun is neither up nor down and the breeze is neither hot or cold. It's that smell of birthday candles on the cake after they've been blown out by a friend. It's picking up the phone and recognizing the voice on the other end, and being glad that you do. I've been told that this may be something that stays with me at some degree for the rest of my life, but I just think that others have to live with cancer or AIDS, and I've decided that I may die with depression, but I refuse to die because of it. Thinking that no matter how many times I stand up I'll end up on the ground will be the end of me, not the end of the depression.