They wanted to charm her with sweet nothings. She was terror-stricken with each such 'condolence' visit. They attempted to touch her arms and shoulders. A considerate man would send his wife or daughter to console the widow. He would not park himself on her sofa late in the evening.
Most widows have a horror of being touched by male friends and acquaintances.
Mourning makes a widow an untouchable entity. Remembering is a solitary activity. She ought not to be distracted or disturbed while the process goes on. It is like a honeymoon repeated, but without a visible mate or his physicality. Each memory is fondled and the whole marriage is a film rewound.