Often adoptive parents need to be educated about the needs of the searching adoptee and to be assured that pursuit of a reunion is a normal, natural outcome of adoption. They are likely to feel anxious at the time of the reunion and worry that their relationship with their adopted son or daughter will suffer as a result. Communication is very important. Recognizing these complex thoughts and feelings and discussing them openly is not always easy, so be sure to approach your reunion counsellor for help and support with these important issues. Adoption reunions are complex, not only because they bring together two families, but also because there are no rules or conventions for these new relationships.
Open discussion is an important part of discovering new ways of relating to one another.
Exchanging information If you choose a reunion, the first step is to exchange information with your birth relative by writing to them. A letter is a good way of getting to know the person you are going to meet. Your birth relative will be interested in learning in a general way about your life, including your reasons for pursuing a reunion and your expectations of it. They will be interested in knowing whether you wish to pursue an ongoing friendship or are primarily interested in having some questions answered and learning more about your biological heritage. Either outcome can lead to a joyful and satisfying reunion.