You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room . . . Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift. You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are. No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas. The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you. Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.