I married a Vermonter, and Vermonters, I've learned, feel deeply but rarely express those feelings. A counselor friend has helped me see the difference between personal and impersonal expressions of caring. Those florist's flowers and spoken words are personal expressions. Putting up my bird feeder and waiting patiently in the car while I choose pansies for my garden are impersonal but nonetheless genuine expressions. Whenever I've needed Sandy, he's been right there.
Marriage is too serious to be fun.
Sometimes Sandy and I are overcome with guilt when we take time to relax. Then, when crises come that need immediate attention, there may be no energy to meet them. I remind myself that Jesus' mission was world-changing. As much in love you might be, this isn't always true. Yet a relationship that at first falls short may, with time, patience, and openness, become deeply fulfilling.