It's called the future, folks, and it will be foretold. Check your local listings - many of them will be televised. ABC agrees to devote 20 minutes to Gen. Colin Powell's appearance before delegates. Huffington denies appropriation of Gabor persona. To settle dispute, A.H. suggests three-round boxing match with dowager celebrity.
Networks immediately agree to televise it live and in prime time.
James Carville and Bob Novak to guest-ref. Henceforth, they will be known as the Ooglie booglies. Protesters angrily deny sellout. We took stock options instead. They are unharmed.