At the same time, Mom was gently rubbing my sisters cheek with her finger. This memory is very strong and I suspect several subconscious decisions were made by myself at that time. So, I guess that was either the birth of envy or the reinforcement of the feeling of it from an earlier time. Feeling special, different. Perhaps even feeling like a misfit.
Feelings seem to be what is real about experience.
Fours are in touch with the suffering and emotions of others, sometimes experiencing the emotions of another as if such emotions were there own. Feelings are felt intensely, both high and low feelings. The high's and low's are the preferred experience. The ordinary is to be avoided. It's more desirable to 'long for' than to have.