We can give up. We can fake it. We can become superficial and coast on glib. We can grudgingly plod along. The after effects of herpes simplex encephalitis force you to choose every day.
Memory alone complicates the choice.
Each day is new. Each approach that day is like a re-discovery of what is being asked and how you will respond. There is a stamina in your determination that defies the odds. It's not in your physicality. It is in your spirit and your strong desire for an intimte life of integrity.