We call her Shulamith. In her name is the word shaleim which means wholeness. This imaginary baby was singularly beautiful with a shiny star on his forehead and seemed to live in the back of her mind. At times she felt guilty about this, at times she felt intense pain and longing for her starbaby. As time passed she realized that this was her dream and her own fantasies that she needed to bury in order to fully accept a treasure - her own real child .
Genuine acceptance means the favorable reception of G-ds gift.
It also means taking upon ourselves the duties and responsibilities as they come with this child. We need to subordinate our will to Hashems will and find happiness in this in spite of the suffering. While we are unable to know Hashem's intentions, we are able to transcend ourselves and we can find positive meaning in the fact that G-d chose us to be the guardian parents of this child . Acceptance does not mean fatalism and complacency. As Jewish parents we want to explore all avenues of helping our disabled child.