You may want to read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricial Evans. She identifies many types of abuse and how to respond to them. Remember, responding to the abuse won't make it stop, and may even make it increase. And you have to be certain you don't become abusive, too. That just puts you on their level and anything you say will be ignored.
Helps explain the different perspectives of the victim and the abuser.
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