There is never any sense of not fitting in or not being welcome. They are willing to share experiences and give advice. There is a place for you out there in the romance market. You might have to be willing to work with what's available right now. You might even have to write under another name.
Many authors do write under a pseudonym, even when they're women writing romance.
The sacrifice isn't worth it otherwise. Besides, you've got to spill your guts everyday. You've got to be a little crazy to want to do that. As any writer will tell you, that about says it all. She currently writes a romantic travel newsletter as well as a website and newsletter for alternative medicine.