Thank you for your attention to this matter. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Entries must be received on or before Monday, March 8. Winners will be announced three weeks from today.
Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness.
No purchase necessary. No One Needs was written by Jonathan M. Kaye of Washington. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes. That's good stuff, man. Better a country a eunuch'll head.