When a client observes that I look like I've had a hard day, and I deny that I have, when the truth is that the day has been extremely difficult, I've become a liar to someone whose trust is extremely important. This doesn't mean that I should proceed to describe my day to the client, but that I merely acknowledge that the client's observation is a perceptive and accurate one. While it is excepted that the therapist knows more in terms of psychology, the client knows herself better. That knowledge is as critical as the therapist's skills in developing a successful therapeutic relationship. The feminist therapist focuses on the enhancement of women's strengths rather than remediation of their weaknesses.
Feminist therapists accept and validate their clients' feelings.
This limited reciprocity is a feminist goal that is believed to enhance the relationship. Milton Erikson spoke often of the importance of joining with our clients. It's difficult from my perspective to accomplish this if we're placed somewhere above our clients and often out of their reach. Perhaps, in part, the distance is recommended, because it's not possible to observe imperfections and vulnerabilities close up without risking our own being exposed from time to time. Such individuals have been told what to do very often for much of their lives, and voluntarily surrendering now to the mandates of yet another feels uncomfortably familiar.