All writing improves with pruning. If your word processor will count words, do so. Even better, cut a third. The people listening to you as you read your protocol on Faulkner will have just finished reading exactly the same work of Faulkner. Remember that every story starts as a blank sheet of paper.
Every sentence begins with a capital letter and ends with a period.
Between every beginning and every ending lie countless trillions of decisions. Every word, every object, every movement, every detail of dress and speech, every slightest mark of punctuation is a decision. Make the harmless experiment of deciding differently, and see what happens. Change the details. Imagine what Faulkner might have written, but do so only as a means of focussing on what he did write.