For some people, the first attack is so mild that it goes unnoticed. For others, the first attack causes visible sores and flulike symptoms. In either case, the virus eventually retreats to the nervous system and lies dormant there. With each recurrence, your body is more prepared to fight off the infection, so there is usually fewer sores, they heal faster, and the outbreak is less painful. The flulike symptoms of the first outbreak are seldom present during subsequent outbreaks.
Herpes affects each person differently.
Your worries about transmission are understandable. Sexual contact poses a risk for transmitting herpes from the time the first symptoms of itching, tingling, or other skin sensations are noticeable, until the area is completely healed. However, people tend to have sex more often when they have no sores, which increases the risk of transmission. The virus can become active and transmitted without any detectable symptoms. During this time, the virus travels along the nerves to skin and mucous membrane sites.