We all need to do that, betrayers and the betrayed. God Bless you. The one thing I am sure of though is that God has forgiven me. In the Bible, God did not separate sin. We are ALL sinner saved by grace.
Grace is such a powerful concept.
I have fallen to my knees in tears asking God to forgive me, and I believe He has. I haven't been a very good Christian lately, preferring to drown my sorrows in beer and cigarettes rather than church and the Bible. But God still hasn't given up on me. Sometimes that moral obligation is enough to pull us together when our hearts are broken and we feel like giving up. When you can't forgive yourself, look to God.