Our wives are our companions, helpers, and sisters in Christ. First of all, men have no business teaching women to be obedient to their husbands. That is a job for the older women. Parents can command their children to do something and discipline them if they don't, but that is not God's plan for a husband and wife. Godly submission is the willing choice to defer to another.
Husbands have no authority to command submission.
Only God has that authority. The only leverage biblical headship has is the leverage of love. One of the first things we learn by observing Jesus is that He Himself recognized the divine order and submitted to it. He acknowledged the headship of His heavenly Father. Man is the head of woman by divine appointment.