I'm trying to get myself to love my stepchild. It's very hard for me. I don't know why. We end up fighting over this issue about the kids and take sides. Please help me.
Love takes time to develop.
You have not experienced the effects of living and caring for this child as your spouse has. Your attachment must grow naturally and without undue pressure if you are to experience the affection for your stepchild that you desire. It is also likely that your acculturation as a woman contributes to the feeling that it is your job to step in to fill the emotional needs of all family members. No doubt your stepchild already has a mother. Start by becoming a friend with limited adult care-taking responsibilities.