With the growing number of people getting involved in BDSM, many of them for the first time and all too many of them driven by their hormones and fantasies rather than solid information and guidance from reliable sources, it's not surprising that we are seeing more and more problems arise. Chief among them is profound confusion among submissives about where to draw the line between consensual SM and abuse.
Dominance is no excuse for laziness or mental cruelty.
In fact, one sure-fire way to tell the TRUE dominant from someone who's just getting his or her rocks off at your expense is that person's willingness to work with you to make the relationship as mutually rewarding and joyful as possible. The following statement on domestic abuse was issued a couple of years ago by the National Leather Association. I'm republishing it here to help you decide for yourself if your SM relationship is in trouble. Please read it carefully. As soon as they have agreed on a final form, I will get a copy of the newly organized statement on this site.