Dogs like beer. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer. Dogs love long car trips. Dogs love red meat. Dogs never criticize.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs never want foot-rubs. Dogs seldom outlive you. Dogs think you sing great. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be wanted. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.