Boys' emotional ignorance clearly imposes on others, but it costs them dearly, too. Perhaps because men enjoy so much power and prestige in society, there is a tendency to view boys as shoo-ins for future success and to diminish the importance of any problems they might experience in childhood. There is a tendency to presume that a boy is self-reliant, confident, and successful, not emotional and needy. People often see in boys signs of strength where there are none, and they ignore often mountainous evidence that they are hurting. We have to come to grips with the fact that every boy has an inner life, that their hearts are full.
Every boy is sensitive, and every boy suffers.
This is a scary idea for many adults who, consciously or unconsciously, don't want to acknowledge a boy's emotional vulnerability. But when we do acknowledge it, and use this understanding to advance our own emotional education as parents and teachers of boys, we can help them meet the shadows in their lives with a more meaningful light. If we teach our sons to honor and value their emotional lives, if we can give boys an emotional vocabulary and the encouragement to use it, they will unclench their hearts.