I couldn't read it because my parents forgot to pay the gravity bill. If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it. Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them. I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. I need more money.
Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction. If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. Reality continues to ruin my life. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse.