Failure to Control Children Failure to Control Children is not a Sign of Bad Parenting When my children were preschoolers, it was difficult sometimes to take them out in public, not so much because of the way they behaved, because they acted like normal kids do, but more so because of the looks and expectations of others. When my kids got out of their seat at a restaurant, dropped food on the floor, or had a tantrum, the looks of other adults conveyed a definite message. As I thought about this message, I scanned my personal library of parenting books. The titles jumped out at me. The obvious intent of these titles and the chapters inside the covers is to convey the same message.
Good parents control their kids.
Bad parents aren't in charge of their children. Well, the fact is that as a parent, I wasn't in conrol of my kids, especially when they were toddlers and preschoolers. They made many of their own choices, although they were not necessarily the choices I would have wanted them to make. This notion that parents are bad unless they are in conrol of their kids isn't helpful to anyone. It's not helpful to parents and it's not helpful to children.