You might need to sort out conflicting emotions before you can express them. Or, you might find yourself lashing out, wishing to find a target for anger and frustration. Often it is those closest who bear the brunt of these outbursts. You don't want to hurt them, but you may be angry that they will live and you might die. Perhaps you assume that they will understand and endure the rage.
Family members have feelings, too.
They may lash back, expressing their own anger and hurt at your outbursts, at the possibility of losing you, at the burden of new responsibilities or at their powerlessness to change the reality of the disease. As you express your own feelings, try to remember that others need the same release. The period following diagnosis is a difficult time of adjustment for family members. Each has to deal with individual feelings, while trying to be sensitive to those of the person who has cancer. Being part of the family doesn't mean you can make people talk about their feelings before they are ready, but you need outlets, too.