I encourage you to use the Magic Words. Try them in any situation, where you think they might help. They can't hurt, that's for sure. First, a few words of advise. Don't say it if you don't mean it.
Kids know when they are being played.
It is the sincerity of the Magic Words that gives them their power. Also, say it like you mean it. Intention is everything. Then, and this is most important, listen to what they have to say. Encourage suggestions from them.