There are always choices. I have learned that some people choose to let life slide by with no motivation. And you cannot give someone that desire no matter how hard you try. They have to want it for themselves. I have learned that there are emotional takers and givers in relationships.
Givers give life to the takers and the takers take life from the givers.
Happiness comes from your soul. I have learned that I have never been so happy being so poor. And you CAN live on love. I have learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.