Once they develop a relationship with a partner however, they become more and more abusive. A batterer covers up his violence by denying, minimizing, and blaming the victim. He often convinces his partner that the abuse is less serious than it is, or that it is her fault. Victims of abuse do not cause violence. The batterer is responsible for every act of abuse committed .
Domestic violence is a learned behavior.
Personality disorders, mental illness, and other problems may compound domestic violence, but the abusive behavior must be addressed separately. Many men blame their violence on the effects of drug and alcohol use. Alcohol abuse is present in about 50 percent of battering relationships. Research shows that alcohol and other drug abuse is commonly a symptom of an abusive personality, not the cause. Men often blame their intoxication for the abuse, or use it as an excuse to use violence.