Dogs miss you when you're gone. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with. Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. No dog ever voted to confirm Clarence Thomas. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for.