I think you both know what she needs to do. This is the environmental group that I belonged to in the past. That means no money to go to conferences. I miss them terribly but cannot afford them. Your wife fits the mold perfectly.
Healing is obviously a different phenomonon, but there are parallels.
Once you heal, you generally stop looking for things to try. In auto repair, usually the cheapest, easiest to replace parts get replaced first, just in case that solves the problem. Perhaps people do it the same way. Either way, it's not good or helpful. Perhaps later it works out ok, but in the short-term, it is uncomfortable for all involved.