I am not naive to the danger of fear. It can wreak havoc on human relationships and human activity. Thank God the young man at the DMV office had no idea of the cauldron of mixed emotions I felt last week as I compliantly recited alphabet letters flashed across a screen. Thirty years ago, when I lashed out in fear at my grandmother, I am sure I astonished and hurt her. In Grace Paley's story, the fear that propelled Ruthy to flee from the dog endangered her friend.
Fear is the motivating emotional experience which stimulates fight or flight behavior.
Today, in my work as a therapist, I watch as some individuals and couples struggle with fear. In Grace Paley's story, Edie and Ruthy turn back to one another, and sit on the front stoop, arms around each other, crying. Years later they tell each other one more time it could have been either one of them who leaned against the door and kept the other from safety and human connection. By now, however, they can tell one another about their fears and turn to each other for support and comfort. After all, they are not alone, although they will still, periodically, be afraid.