When young, Opening to beauty. The opening is my volition, the rest is like being the crest of a great wave. A beautiful sound. No pretensions to enlightenment here. While I still experience fear, anger, loathing it becomes harder and harder to hang onto these because I have less and less success in remembering the separateness of the folks whose actions I'm reacting to.
Language is always such a difficulty.
Nor is it possible to get away from the tyranny of exclusionary pronouns. This said, I don't think unitive experience depend upon becoming first loving, pure or humble. I don't think unitive experience depend upon any particular effort we make. Which brings me to notions of expressing unitive experience in terms of sensory experience, and image. Sensory experience is what we've got.