If possible, ask the individual what term he or she prefers. If not possible, partner is generally acceptable. Otherwise it's ambiguous whether reference is to killer or victim. If it's not a closeted world, it's not a secret. Anyone can walk into a gay bar.
Many bars are community institutions.
Gay woman Use instead of lesbian if preferred by the person interviewed. Ghetto Avoid its use. Better to name the neighborhood. What California was called by Chinese who came to the state in the 1850s searching for gold. They intended to return to China with their new-found riches.