Apply Band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbour's garden shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Call a furniture shop on the way home to order new table.