Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. Beer is never late.
Hangovers go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. After you've had a beer the bottle is still worth a dime.