If you have not had an orgasm with your mate by any circumstance, then you should give attention to this. If you have never had an orgasm at all, even by yourself, then that is called primary orgasmic dysfunction. That would probably be best treated with a therapist. If you can give yourself an orgasm but can't have one with a partner, then that is called secondary orgasmic dysfunction, which is even easier to treat, but again is best treated with a therapist. This reflects sexual inexperience with their bodies.
Good sex requires time, energy, experience, familiarity and knowledge.
It's not something we innately know. That is probably the most common cause of friction between couples. Many learn to find a compromise, point of frequency or they have to find that maybe some of that sexual desire can be met by just companionship activities. Too often, sex becomes the only avenue of affection. It's important to have affection without sex.