Everyone has a grid system built into them during childhood which affects the way you act and react.
Every man has a little boy inside and every woman has a little girl inside.
Many marriage problems are the result of not identifying the things that bind, govern or dominate a person's life. Identify a response you often have that you don't want to have. Own this response as your own and not blame someone else for it. Trace it back to the source and see who programmed this into you. Forgive the person you think is responsible for the way you think and feel.