The idea that emotions might be rule following is counter-intuitive for most of us. We usually think about rules as law-like directives that tell us what to do or not to do in particular situations. Thus, we often contrast rules defined as rational and behavior-oriented with emotions which we treat as nonrational feelings. The logic of this position goes something like this. While it is possible to hold people accountable to rational behavioral rules, it is unrealistic to try to strictly control people s feelings.
Feelings just happen, they are natural.
We might learn to better manage our emotions, but it is absurd to tell people when they can feel sadness, love, frustration or optimism. But there is a sense in which we do tell people how to feel in situations. Consider, for example, the differing outward criteria of emotions that we associate with funerals and holiday festivities. These examples provide us with a beginning for thinking about emotions as rule following. The rules at issue are not so formalized as official laws, although we do teach them to others and we sometimes write about them in etiquette books.