Actually, Adam and I do pretty good together. But the truth is that all stepmothers are evil. It is the nature of the relationship. It is, as far as I can tell, an unavoidable fact of step relationships. These maps are approximate at best, dangerously misleading at worst.
Dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional families.
Abuse is handed down from generation to generation. That it's all the stuff of 12 Step programs and talk shows doesn't make it any less true or any less profound. The map of step parenting is one of the worst, because it is based on a lie. The lie is that you will be mom or you will be dad. If you've got custody of the child, you're going to raise it.