Sex becomes a ritual, and often only about getting an orgasm. So women like the other sexual aspects of caring, and you should to. I often recommend that couples have no-sex makeout sessions to rediscover the thrill. Or it could be that she needs her toys to have and orgasm. It's important that the two of you be able to talk about this openly, rather than trying to guess what's going on .
Good sex is about communication.
During that time I slept with another women. I felt I did this because I felt alone. I hid it from my girlfriend when we got back together. She finally found out. It took a while for her to come to grips with it.