Smith advises students who want to come out to their families to try to first figure out how their parents feel about homosexuality to help gauge their reaction. He also said many students come out by hinting about their sexuality. At Psychological Services at Marlboro and the LGBT at NYU, counselors and peers try to help students identify the pros and cons of the decision to come out and the possible consequences. Information No amount of preparation, however, will ease the pain of a friend or family member's negative reaction to his coming out. If they turn to friends and don't find support, they may stop coming out, fall into depression, or even become suicidal.
Experts urge students to be prepared to give family and friends time to process it.
Find out what they want in terms of contact. It may be better to stay away for awhile or limit phone contact. You can find other people going through the same thing, which doesn't necessarily make the pain any less, but it doesn't help you realize that this is not uniquely your experience. If Eric could have done things differently, he would have sought out the help of the lesbian and gay services on his campus. He would have formed networks with other students struggling with coming out issues.