My personal favorite stems from the fact that I seem to be seeing too much collage and too much word based conceptual sculpture lately, and frankly, it ain't my cup of tea. Now, art gallery openings are in no way to be confused with art. In future posedowns, we'll explore faking your way through conversations about photography, pop art, and all manner of other categories, but right now, we're going to focus on the most precarious of all social situations. The Gallery Opening. First of all, even at the most posh gallery, the wine is going to be bad box Chardonnay, Merlot if the artist sells at a multi-thousand dollar price point.
Galleries seem to attract people with a taste for cheap wine.
It is totally uncool to mention that the wine is from a box. Sure, you know it's tacky, but sometimes if the art is really bad, that box wine can be your best friend. If you want to talk to the artist, pick the piece that looks most like a train wreck. Separate yourself from whoever you came with, and stare at it, seemingly mesmerized. Soon, you will hear the distinctive snap of fingers, the owner summoning the artist like Bette Davis summoning a waiter in some old movie.