Those institutions that have traditionally aided and encouraged marriage now function as collaborators, even co conspirators, in the broken promise. No fault divorce is readily available, pre nuptial agreements anticipating divorce are all the rage, and our churches are far more interested in the fate of the rain forest than in the endangered promises of those in their congregations. Our culture has appropriated the language of Christianity without any of its substance. Thus we forgive without ever having judged. Forgiveness is an action requiring both object and subject.
Forgiveness is also a gift by definition, unearned.
If I cannot earn or work for forgiveness, I most assuredly cannot forgive myself. I may learn to live with my past, may understand it more fully, but I cannot forgive myself. Only God and those who love us can, through the gift of forgiveness, redeem the past, and make whole again. Which brings me back to the initial point. Unless there is judgment, there is no need for forgiveness and thus no possibility of starting anew.