Liberals believe there must be a deeper explanation for Chelsea's hair. Liberals think Sociology 101 is a religion. Liberals say they love all people, and especially the ones they duck at cocktail parties. Liberals believe fellatio was a Roman Emperor. Liberals always keep talking until they think of something to say.
Liberals lie about their height.
Liberals believe global warming is what Bill Clinton did to keep Monica Lewsinky's globes warm. Liberals believe just because something doesn't exist doesn't mean the government shouldn't fund a program to fix it. Liberals believe monogamy is a theory. Liberals think man was put on Earth to correct God's mistakes. Liberals need Richard Simmons to walk them home through tough neighborhoods.