If you find yourself blaming the survivor for the assault, make sure that you have someone other than the survivor who can listen to your angry feelings. Remember, even if the survivor used poor judgement, it is the attacker who committed the crime and who is totally responsible for it. A sexual assault brings up feelings of powerlessness in victims and those who love them, and you may feel that your life is out of control. Your security and trust have been drastically violated. If depression lasts for more than a few weeks or becomes serious, get support for yourself.
Guilt is a common reaction when a loved one has been sexually assaulted.
Those closest to the survivor may blame themselves. But whatever you did or did not do, you are not to blame if someone you love has been sexually assaulted. It is solely the fault of the attacker. Instead of wasting time blaming yourself for something you had absolutely no control over, concentrate on the positive things you can do now. What You Can Do Believe the survivor's account of the assault.