Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts. Dogs never want foot rubs. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Dogs can't talk.