That is well documented, and we ve known it for some time. First, it is important not to be in denial. It is necessary to take an honest look at your childhood, adolescence and early adult life. The idea is not to muck too much around in it but to open up the abscess and heal it. The shackles of shame must be broken.
Every child is told certain things about themselves that they are stupid, for example.
Or perhaps they ve been beaten or sexually molested. As a result they feel shame, which often they keep secret. Shame is very different from guilt, where we feel we have done something wrong. Rather, shame is the feeling that we are wrong, we are flawed somehow, and everyone else is okay. We may appear happy, but secretly we know we are screwed up.