When I was seventeen, both my mother and father encouraged me to go on the Stillman Diet to slenderize my shape. The food plan was eating nothing but protein and water for a week or more. When I first started dieting, I enjoyed a sense of control in my life that I had never had before. In dieting I found a way to assert my own will. That sense of control came with a pricetag, though.
Food is bad, wrong, dangerous.
Your appetites are by definition dangerous. Empty yourself out. If you feel empty and hollow in your belly, you're doing something right. I did need to feel full. So my weeks of compulsive dieting alternated with weeks of compulsive eating, times when hunger, fear, anger, pleasure, and desire would not be denied.