Peter Pears sang this role, which was written for him, and much of Britten's obsession is captured in this character. The concept is so horrible that I can only repress it, otherwise I could not continue. With the character's homosexuality I don't have problems, in every man there are some aspects, and I am lucky in my relationship with my wife and my family, so that I can bring out these facets in my creation. Similarly in Billy Budd, where the interesting situation of a purely male society prevails in a very small, claustrophobic space - also tinged with dangerous sexual 'undercurrents' between the individuals, it's extremely exciting. It all revolves around the idea of 'guilt'.
Guilt is something terrible and destructive, and consists of many parts.
Grimes feels guilty, and becomes violent in response to his sense of powerlessness and his depression. The true relationship in this opera is between Grimes and Ellen, towards whom he speaks rudely because she is, on the one hand, his anchor in society and his soul, while on the other hand, she remains unattainable because of his disposition. He wants to lead a civilised life with her but cannot, therefore his brutality is a sign of his weakness. Guilt is a thread which pulls itself through my whole life. I come from a family in which my youth was spent undergoing the same conflicts that my extremely musically-talented father had with his father.