A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective, but also a proven fly deterrent. For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance. Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion. For the reception, reserve the VFW far in advance, and avoid Saturdays since that's square dancing night.
Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Not if you are the groom. One for each of her kids. When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.