I would get nothing done if I did. So contemptuous is he of the intrusions and expectations of RSVP invitations that he regards them as the academic equivalent of a telemarketer's solicitation for a timeshare condo at dinner time. Under a lamp. The gas fire breathes, the trees are darkly swayed. But at least Larkin's introvert, and Beerbohm before him, sent replies to their insufferable hosts, and all the better for the imaginative lies that went into their penning.
Lie follows by post.
The new RSVP craze might even increase attendance at events, as guests would flock to hear the best RSVPs read out or posted for their entertainment. The year's classics could be anthologized in Emory Report, with awards for the wittiest and most admirable prevarications. Before the next invitation is filed or slipped into a stack of papers, consider the ripple effect of forgetting it, of hundreds of us habitually following suit. The time is shorter now for company, And sitting by a lamp more often brings Not peace, but other things.