So he talks about other things, about people he met, places where he lived, but all the while it is the empty spaces, the open holes in his memory, which draw him, because the solution to the mystery must be found there. But the many years between the Stockholm period and Heiligenberg lie in near-absolute darkness. Still he is shut up in a darkness, which only now and then is illumined by sudden glimpse from the past, from childhood, from the Stockholm period and from journeys in the South. But how and when it happened, he still doesn't know. So he toes back once again to the painful holes in his memory ad the humiliation and unheard-of indignity he vaguely associates with the Stockholm period.
Freedom means that one can never again receive help.
It was this freedom he always had shied away from, because it filled him with dread. He was like the unknown man from whom he has received a letter. I have filled the role which others expected or demanded of me. I have one last chance to get to know myself, to know who I was . . . But Moment of Freedom describes something more than an individual process of liberation and awakening.