For years this created uncertainty in our relationship not only through an improper association of guilt with pleasurable sex, but also through memories immersed in emotions of feeling used. Guilt-association or resentment with sex smothers a marriage bed. I even had gotten to the point that I would not make love to my husband on Sundays because I felt like it was a 'dirty' thing. When guilt is arrested, we can then reprogram our thinking to reflect that of the wisdom and beauty of God. God provided sexual relations between husband and wife as a way to create oneness and give mutual pleasure, comfort, and recreation.
Forgiveness includes more than one person.
Offering forgiveness and receiving forgiveness are tightly linked in Scripture. Jesus clearly makes this point in the parable of the forgiven debtor who refused to forgive the debts of others and consequently suffered the wrath of his King. So the path toward intimacy must involve steps of forgiving each other for the past sin of premarital sex. Forgiving a spouse for past sexual sin means simply holding them to a standard no higher than what our Savior holds for us all. A number of years ago I played the part of the adulterous woman in our church's Easter pageant.