They break your heart. They say evil thing s about you. That is the test. If we do, then we will forgive them. It is like when I get into an argument with my wife.
Love reaches out and takes people in.
It doesn't hold them out. Receive Onesimus not as a slave but as a brother. Paul takes it a step farther. He asks Philemon to look at Onesimus in a different light. Don't see Onesimus as a runaway slave.