Their love comes from His love for them. The emphasis is on relationship, fruitfulness, and readiness to be rejected by the world. A believer's identification is in Jesus to the point of suffering and following Him to the cross. Only through strained semantics, labored logic and exploited exegesis can one even attempt to demonstrate that self-esteem is Biblical or even a part of the church tradition or teaching. The focus of love in the Bible is upward and outward instead of inward.
Love is both an attitude and action to one another.
And while love may include sentiment and emotional affection, it is primarily volitional action for the glory of God and the good of others. Love for God is expressed with a thankful heart committed to doing what pleases God according to what has been revealed in the Bible. It is not a grudging kind of obedience, but an eagerness to conform to His gracious will and to agree with God that He is the source and standard for all that is right and good. John elaborates on this. He describes the sequence of love.