By asking the court here in Connecticut for permission to serve papers in a couple of ways intended to give your spouse actual notice of the divorce. You may have to hire a local constable or process server in your spouse's home state. Sometimes you also send copies by certified mail to your spouse's residence and publish a legal notice in a newspaper selected by the court, if you don't know where your spouse is. I can manage that. Publishing a legal notice can be expensive.
Lawyers usually charge by the hour.
Absolutely, but you would be wise to consult an attorney if you have children and assets. Local disciplinary rules prohibit lawyers from taking divorce cases on a contingent fee basis. I'm short on cash. My spouse has all of the money. Ask your spouse to pay your legal fees.