These floating guillotines have been menacing ships, not to mention certain species of whale, for centuries. Ask Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. These malodorous relics of our ugly past clog our hall closets and get tangled up at the bottom of the bed. Temperature Enhancement will finally render these eyesores obsolete. With all the time saved, our nation will be able to dedicate itself to appreciating the coal and utility industries, which helped ensure that our precious carbon dioxide supply wouldn't be threatened.
Ice skaters are gay.
Look at their outfits, with the fringes or whatever. Once the rinks melt, morality will again prosper. The bleeding heart liberal elite. Most of them live on either the East or the West Coast. Once the flooding begins, they'll be washed out to sea.