Dogs are excited by rough play. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs have ten breasts.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs don't borrow your shirts. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. Dogs don't shop.