Your mind works best and fastest when you have your back to the wall. This is how I learned to speak English. As a five year old, I found myself in a class where everyone spoke English except me. Had I just tried to learn English on my own, I would never have learned as fast. This is why foreign language courses in this country are unsuccessful.
Experience is the best teacher.
I know that I have changed greatly by watching other people suffer. The father taught him about his deepest fears. When a person lives through their worst fear, it doesn't frighten them as much anymore. This is not the kind of thing a father should be teaching a son. The father should want more for his son than a life in prison.