You have the most eyes I've ever seen. I can get you onto the bridge. The top 10 signs you're at a Bad Trek convention 10. It's being held in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven. 9. When you count the fake Spock ears in the room, you have an odd number.
Enterprise looks a lot like an RV wrapped in paper mache.
The keynote speaker is William Shatner's hairpiece. The hookers all look like Klingons. His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit. Wesley gets gang-raped by a group of female Klingons. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed explanation from Wesley, who dies of embarrassment.