These are not excuses. There are no excuses for abusive behavior. You have to take the first steps of deciding there is a problem and calling someone. There are people out there who understand and can help. Most abusers and victims love each other.
Many abusers act in loving, caring ways some of the time.
Most survivors love the abuser and want the abuse to stop. However, over time, the loving periods, lessen, change or fade as the abuse takes its toll. People often do not understand why a woman stays in an abusive relationship. They may think or say it could never be them, but statistics show that domestic violence is by no means rare. The truth is that if you do find yourself in an abusive relationship, it is usually very difficult to leave even if you aren't married.