One time I asked the husband the secret of their relationship. He thought for a moment and said, We give each other what we want and need . What a simple and profound insight. If I give, then they get and I need to get as much as I give. There is a silent score keeping that goes on, accompanied by much grousing over chores and daily routine.
Life becomes miserable.
Imagine a marriage where your first thought was the fulfillment of the other person. Deep inside, we all want to be loved like that. We all want someone understand our needs and fears like that. St. Paul reminds us that the way to unleash that spiritual energy is to reach out and start the process by attending to others needs, not worrying about our own. He is right about that.