Keep the reader guessing throughout a reading of your work. Employ lengthy Latinate locutions wherever possible. Shun the simplicity of style that comes from apt use of short, old, familiar words, especially those of Anglo-Saxon origin. Inject some humour into your writing by using the wrong word occasionally. Write 'then' when you mean 'than' or 'to' when you mean 'too'.
Every reader likes a laugh.
Find a 'tried and true' phrase to clinch a point. It will have a comfortingly folksy sound for your reader. Best of all, since you want to end in a conversational, friendly way, sprinkle your conclusion with clich s. 'Put a little icing on the cake' as the saying goes. Thereby gaining the reader's credence in what you say. This program will help you to write better essays.