If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. I need all the preservatives I can get. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.