A former member unloads with a detailed description of the coldness of the church they used to attend, or the hypocrisy of the people, or the shenanigans of the elder. If only the church had been the model of caring and Christian kindness it was supposed to be . . . These letters are hard to read and harder to answer. I try to listen and to give a pastoral word, but it isn t my place to don the role of ombudsman. But as I reflect on these letters and on many, many conversations over the years with hurting members or former members, four perspectives emerge sharply.
Influence is a powerful element for good or for ill.
The home, the congregation, the school, the workplace the people with whom we rub shoulders affect the course of our lives, and we theirs. Influence is never all that it might be for uplifting others. Our schools mess up. Congregations mess up. These are facts, and taken alone, they could lead us to the sour grapes conclusion.