I am ambitious and I have big plans. As most grandiose people do. But I have to fight these tendencies with impulses that if not more pure, are more likely to lead me into some kind of aesthetic happiness. These impulses are simply to make work I love, work I'd love to see, or just have fun. I accept these impulses as spiritually pure.
Life is too short to do otherwise.
I feel very vulnerable when I work hard on something I love. Because disappointment in love is much harder to take than simple failure in endeavor.