You did not, however, lose life yourself. The love you had with your wife is something that still exists in the form of love. Just not with that particular person attached to it. Spend some time mourning and grieving your wife sufficiently so you can move on. But more importantly, stop blaming life for your loss.
Life is still here.
You have much to give to life. And life has much to give to you. You sound like you may need professional help. And I would suggest that you get that to help you through. I'm not sure that I'm happy with my answer because it is such a deep subject to handle in a chat situation.