Every marriage has a few fights now and then.
Abuse is not the same as normal marital arguments. Abuse is an ongoing pattern of power and control that progressively limits the thoughts, words and actions of the victim, out of fear of the abuser. When there is abuse in a marriage, couples counseling cannot help until there is first a change in the abuser and he or she stops the abuse for good. If the abused person would just change or try harder, the abuse would stop. It takes two to tango.