Excusing or trying to rationalize Hank's cruel words can't defuse anger. True forgiveness can. Courtesy A third antidote to uncurbed anger is politeness. Love is . . . Love requires courtesy.
Good etiquette is kindness codified.
I remember as a teenager trying to show proper amenities to my next door neighbor whom I was dating. I would rush to open the door for her, help her remove her coat. Years later I married her. Too often I let her open the door herself. We take for granted constant companions.