Disposing of possessions and belongings is always a difficult task, but it is very therapeutic in the grief process. The task may be complicated by relatives and family members who don't recognise the bereaved lover as the spouse or 'significant other'. Sometimes you may have to deal with the anger and frustration of coping with an estranged family who has come in and taken all his belongings, particularly if they have never accepted the relationship. Not infrequently, you may find, those family members have been out of touch for long periods as well as unsupportive during the illness. These same relatives may go ahead with funeral plans which were very different to what the deceased wanted and to compound the injury, may not invite or actually prohibit the bereaved lover from attending the service.
Friends frequently have no idea of how to befriend their brothers in grief.
Young people, in particular, who have had little or no experience of death can feel their role is to distract you from your grief. Going to bars or bath-houses won't work, although you may feel like going places you both frequented in an attempt to feel close to him. But when you do so, be prepared to listen to whatever he wants to say. He must work through it and that's hard work. The tomorrows will be better if we can go on our backwards emotional journey together.