His eyes pleaded. Dick bought a gun. Driven by childhood fears to the dairy. Climb the fence. Point the gun.
Fence gives way.
Gun goes off. Bullet breaks chain holding giant, iron milk container, falling, crushing life from Dick, proving that at the last he was, indeed, lactose intolerant. The President paused from his speech and took a deep breath. He was almost finished. Yes, some had laughed, and now it was almost over.