Kids need to know that they don't always get everything they want, and that there are rules they don't like, and that sometimes they will feel frustrated, and disappointed, and even angry, but life is like that sometimes. Kids need to test limits and they will use whatever works. Stubbornness in toilet training, and eating problems, and bedtime problems are sure-fire limit testers. Kids have lots of different kinds of feelings and need to know that feelings are okay. They need to find appropriate ways to express them and sometimes we have to help them do that.
Kids are messy, sloppy, and clumsy.
They spill things, forget things, lose things. They whine, they argue, they complain. They get angry, scared, and sad. Kids feel small and vulnerable much of the time and their feelings are hurt very easily. They need to hear us and see us treat them with respect, and fairness, and pride, and joy.