Exchange is a direct experience, not based on concepts at all. We exchange with each other to varying degrees all the time. We might like to be around particular people because we like how we feel when we are with them. Or we might avoid others because we feel uncomfortable when we re with them. One of the reasons for these feelings could be exchange.
Exchange goes in both directions.
Helpers need to understand this and learn how to work with it. In the same way that I might start to feel hopeless and lethargic with a man who is depressed, he might begin to feel some curiosity and warmth if that is what I am bringing to my experience of being with him. I believe that one of the main reasons people seek out therapists and friends when they feel pain is to exchange with the state of mind of the other person. As a contemplative helper, my job is to bring as much mindfulness and compassion as I can to my experience in the moment. I need to practice with whatever arises in my mind, emotions and body, and if I can do that, then I bring something of value to my client.