What made the difference was their determination to find reconciliation. Whenever a tabloid wrote something about her, instead of seeking revenge she would send the newspaper a note saying she gave some money to charity following the article. And when it came to forgiving her husband, she replaced anger with positive reasons for forgiving. But there is nothing in her Bible that says she has to forget. Rather than trying to forget, the Giffords worked on the harder task of reconciliation.
Forgiveness is hard enough.
When someone acknowledges wronging us, we can forgive that person in the sense of not allowing the wrong we have suffered to lead us to will harm on another or diminish our commitment to will the wrongdoer's good. But we can't be reconciled with the person until there is acknowledgement of fault. Right now our society is enamored with the concept of forgiveness. Not everyone will do the hard work of forgiving. Fewer will take on the even harder task of forging reconciliation.