Abused children expend their energies surviving, not learning. A child who endures years of abuse is likely to be left with a poorer intellect and a diminished potential to learn. The sad truth is that some parents will never or can never care for their children in even a minimal way. . . It may be true, as some have said, that the home will be the last place equality between men and women will be achieved. I remember being deeply impressed by a research study showing that in almost all cases relationships last long-term only when each of the two people believe they are giving and receiving equally.
Egalitarian marriages have the best success rate.
Reciprocity is a necessity in our domestic arrangements. By this I do not mean a minutely calculated 50-50 arrangement. We are talking about equity, not exact equivalency. Our cultural training is exceedingly difficult to overcome. One incident from my own first marriage shows how deeply complex this cultural and family tradition influences us.