Depression, self-pity, or sadness may also mask anger. Some caregivers need nonjudgmental acceptance from you to express anger at circumstances or God. Not expressing anger can weaken the caregiver's immune system and her general health. If you're concerned that the caregiver isn't in touch with her anger, look for the subtle signs listed in Recognizing Anger in a Caregiver . Help the caregiver express her anger in an appropriate way that doesn't hurt those around her.
Exercise is another good way to release the anxiety and tension associated with anger.
You may also point out that the illness has caused her loved one's behavior changes and the changes in her own life and that she should direct her anger toward that. Fighting fear and panic Some caregivers report tidal waves of panic that come over them at unpredictable times, such as when they're cooking a meal or taking a shower. As with anger, panic can overwhelm the caregiver and make her feel lonely. Often she's aware of a painful discrepancy between the fear she feels and the calm, competent way she appears to others. Fear is a normal emotion that occurs when we feel threatened.