The truth is easier to take than what their imaginations may dream up. Whenever possible, give them time to adjust to the separation before it happens. Answer all your children's questions honestly, without lies or false promises. Although it can be very difficult, try to have custody, visitation and financial matters discussed and tentatively arranged before telling your children. Being able to answer their questions about how the separation and divorce will affect their lives is very important and will help make the adjustment easier.
Many children feel that they are somehow responsible for their parents' divorce.
It's important to let them know that they are not to blame. Be prepared for denial, anger, bargaining and depression. These are all normal stages for children to go through before they can accept the separation and divorce. Once it's accepted, they will still feel remorse or wish things were different. Remember, you can't fix their feelings, but you can listen to them and accept them.