A jacket will keep your body warm from the wind s bitter chill. During the course of fall weather, the temperature fluctuates throughout the day. In the morning, it could be 29 degrees, and by mid-afternoon, the temperature could be 91. Because of this, wearing a jacket is very useful because you can take it off whenever it gets too hot. You can also take it off to put over a puddle so that pretty girls can walk on it, thereby ruining a good jacket.
Jackets are also good for hiding things in, like a baby s nose or a cannon.
Just wrap the jacket around the baby s nose, or the cannon, and no one will know the difference. These socks will keep your feet sweaty and messy, like Richard Nixon. They will also shield you from such devilish diseases, like Richard Nixon. If you weren t pleased with this column, do not fear, because I didn t like it either. It s hard being a writer, what with your angry fingers and your squinty eyes.