Men only have two feet that track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block. Men are a little bit more subtle. Men don't eat turds on the sly.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men can do math stuff. Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it. It's fun to dry off a wet man. Four men were talking about how smart their dogs were. He told the dog to get some paper, draw a square, a circle, and a triangle, which the dog did easily.