Now I come to God with at least one hand clenched around my cares. I'm not sure when the spiritual stopped feeling natural. In adolescence, as a female and as a Roman Catholic, the spiritual started feeling more and more of a barrier rather than the most important thing in life. My daughter does a happy dance when the mood strikes. Sitting in her highchair, she breaks into dance when she likes the taste of her food.
Life is good.
I brought them about. I have little time for reflecting on God's grace, life's benevolence. Disappointments in life easily cloud over naturally occurring wonders. To know that I am alive by the grace of God and at the same time to pretend as if I alone am responsible for my existence is a contradiction I can't resolve. When I think of the energy and prayer I've put into myself, I am ashamed.