It appears the Nineties have left us with millions of Beanie Babies, and one hell of a disposal problem. Middle America s obsession with beanies appears to be weaning and their days may be numbered, so we must address the massive problem of disposing these critters now. Instead they are filled with some space-age PVC plastic that probably won t decompose until the suns bursts and pigs fly, so that puts an end to the brilliant idea of feeding the entire continent of Africa for the next twenty years. I have been working on possible solutions to our overstock, and would appreciate any of your suggestions. Secretly replace the silicon packs used in breast augmentation surgeries, with Beanie Babies.
Lets face it everyone loves boobs.
Remarket them as Animal Voodoo Dolls. People will love to get even with those neighborhood pests who dig up their flowers and poop on their lawns. Send them to the coal mine companies of West Virginia, to help replace the billions of tons of earth they ve blasted in their quest for fossil fuel. Repackage Beanies as the pants stuffing in Tom Jones impersonator kits. Send them to Russia to replace their inflated worthless currency.