Joel will be online at 1 p.m. Friday to talk about the dangers of smart food. He's funnier than any of us, so we let him. As you recall, we were discussing a new phenomenon, Fear of Food. People are being terrorized by breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Food is poison.
Food is filth. Food is full of Salmonella furiously searching for a place to spawn. Food will hurt you, maim you, kill you, and, worst of all, make you fat. I personally have switched to a diet comprised entirely of unfertilized and unsprayed grasses grown in my back yard. Recently we saw pictures of sheep in Vermont being seized on suspicion that they carry a variant of Mad Cow Disease.