When this occurs, the relationship will begin to deteriorate rapidly unless an intimacy of spirit and soul has also developed. Marriages established only on eros will probably experience difficulties from the start. The courtship and engagement periods should instead be used to establish communion of spirit and soul. Then the physical union after marriage will be the crowning glory of a growing relationship rather than the worn-out link of a decaying relationship. If you made the dreadful mistake of marrying on the basis of eros alone, however, there is some encouraging news for you.
Love can grow.
It won't grow automatically, but it will grow if you cultivate it. The only hope for your marriage is to move on to higher levels of love. Philia , the next higher level of love, relates to the soul rather than to the body. It involves a mutual sharing. There is some eros in philia .