Get a lawyer who you have confidence in and then let their style dictate how they do things. One is not unaggressive simply because they don't get in somebody's face. Your lawyer may advise you from time to time that you will lose in court if you do something that you have the legal right to, but that will annoy the judge and make you appear like a bully. You hired this person because you had faith in their judgment. Focus on the long-time relationship and the lawyer's judgment.
Lawyers try to remember that they are fighting a war and that no one battle is worth losing the war.
Make sure you're getting information from your lawyer, not just fancy chatter. Use your in-house counsel, if you have one, as an interpreter, if you get too much legalese. But try to make the lawyer talk to you in English that you can understand and then have a reaction to. Don't keep a lawyer long term who won't talk in a manner that you can comprehend and who doesn't listen to or seek your response. No lawyer can win everything.