And neatly put way, no less. Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. Not just scarves, mind you. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim.
They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. In an instant, they were all gone. I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.