Hearts are everywhere - red and round like ripe baboon anuses when they are in heat.
Grown women are running around with their hearts on fire for any stranger with a Whitman's Sampler. The Heart on for Jesus campaign is sweeping the nation and cleaning up the subtle focus that Valentine's Day places on sex. Praise God for this important program. While liberals allow their children to hump all over each other in celebration of 'Valentine's Day,' we will, once again, prove that Christians are favored by God-we're just better people. Now everyone has the chance to hear Jesus' message of unconditional love, as long as they do exactly what He says.