Overview Normally, children learn self-control as they grow through the preschool and elementary school years. Learning when to talk and when to be quiet, when to run and when to sit is a big part of growing up. For some children, these lessons will come easily. Others may not learn them without help from teachers and parents. Self-control is a skill that enables the child to suppress undesirable, inappropriate behaviors and act in socially acceptable ways.
Many children learn self-control by watching other children and adults.
By age 10 or 12, few children are hitting or screaming in response to frustration. Children are eager to please parents, teachers and peers by behaving in acceptable ways. However, there are significant numbers of children who do not learn very well by watching others. They will learn more effectively through direct teaching along with the use of rewards and consequences. They will need consistent teaching from parents on handling frustration.