No matter how old we are when our parents die, we feel orphaned . The way her parents died, coming to visit her for Christmas instead of her going to visit them as she usually did, may have left Jane with some guilt . Although guilt feelings are learned, there are certain events which are more likely to cause us to feel guilty, and one of the most common is a person dying unexpectedly. Children of alcoholic or other dysfunctional parents have learned to be responsible for their parents, and are likely to feel tremendous guilt when their parents suddenly die. Whether this was the case with Jane, I do not know, but some guilt is almost always present in such a situation.
Guilt often complicates our grief .
We are dealing with not only our loss, but also the feeling that we are somehow responsible for the loss. We can think of things we might have done differently that would have allowed us to avoid the event that caused our loss. Of course, had we known that this choice would result in this loss, we would have chosen differently. One way to deal with guilt is to look at the choices involved, see whose choices they were, and determine if anyone could have foreseen this loss occurring at this time. Of course not.