I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem. Give me just a minute . . . I'll find someone. To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting. No representation is made as to the authenticity of some of the above jokes.