I'm standing in it, holding onto one bar, calling out for her. No one answers. Still half asleep I climb out. The little room where Kurt sleeps is empty. The living room, the little hall, the bathroom, long and dark like a tunnel, and finally the kitchen - my favorite place.
Every room is empty and alone by itself.
No smell of fire. This morning the cooking stove is black and cold and I don't see my cup with the blue corn flowers on the white kitchen table. It is still early in the day, I know that. I was right then about not wanting to go to sleep at night. When I am sleeping, I don't see what is happening around me, and that makes me scared.