During a dream I formulated the following simple definition of spirituality. It is what gives life meaning and depth. If pursued directly it disappears. Manners Manners and politeness keep people separate. What connects people is taking liberties.
Intimacy relies on breaching privacy and other social inhibitions.
Holding on to manners is infantile for it means we do not trust ourselves to behave appropriately. Choking I have read about what is called 'choking', the phenomenon where a top sports-person suddenly seems to lose their skill during a match. I think this happens when they make a mistake that seems so elementary that it 'should not happen'. Hence their confidence is shaken, and once this happens they make more mistakes and the downward spiral begins. It seems to me that confidence is one of the most important components of any skill.