Lingerie straddles the border between the two realms. It's often assumed that when a man buys lingerie for a woman, he is giving himself a gift, and there's certainly some truth to that. But lingerie works for women, too. They buy it for themselves and wear it for themselves. It doesn't matter if they're single and not dating or even really looking.
Lingerie is powerful stuff.
It's because she's asking me to look at her, inviting me to admire her form, even if it's not entirely hers. It's how she wants to be seen. To see someone as she imagines herself is a real treat. But I see now how apt it is. Some of what I've just said is hypothetical.