The church can love because Christ first loved her. It was not because the church was so loving that Christ couldn't help but love her. In spite of all our problems, Christ loved us. The husband is commanded to love his wife the same way Christ loves the church. In spite of it all, the husband must set his love upon his wife.
Love starts with the husband.
Christ commanded the husband to love the wife, and the wife to respond submissively to that love. If love has grown cold in the home, it is chiefly the fault of the husband. Even if the wife doesn't love, the husband can begin by giving. I believe that as we honor God in this area, God will empower us to overcome every barrier in bringing joy and peace to our home. Jealous husbands need to change.