It's hard to describe, really, what we search for, but we know it when we finally achieve it. Maybe we tire of that dark feeling of being ultimately alone as we struggle through the vicissitudes of life, as every person must. If only there were someone else here, we say to ourselves, who can understand and share these burdens in a deeply personal way. Then it wouldn't be so lonely. Or perhaps, in our more positive moments, we want to share not just the burdens of life but our pleasures, our strength and beauty.
Humans are social beings.
We experience massive frustration when our committed relationships fail to bring us the promise of intimacy, and this may help to explain the neediness, control, and ultimate option of separation and divorce found in so many relationships. The search for intimacy may be why we form social groups, and it may explain why we quest for spiritual fulfillment in our religious lives. We do not want to be alone. We want to touch and to be touched. Contemporary society seems to have produced a feeling of alienation for many people.