The answer is limits. Limits are specific behavioral expectations parents set for their children. Setting limits defines the boundaries for acceptable behavior. Parents show their love, concern, and willingness to parent children when they set and use reasonable limits. However, children need clear, reasonable limits just as much as they need food and shelter.
Limits are at the foundation of parenting responsibility.
There are two behaviors we see from children reared without limits. Some children will withdraw, too frightened to test the boundaries by themselves. Other children will deliberately misbehave to see who is watching to step in and provide the limit. That does not apply to setting and using limits. There are four functions of limits.