Dogs love long car trips. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking directions. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than them were made to be hunted. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. It's legal to keep a dog chained up in your house. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. You never have to wait for a dog.