Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit. Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize.