Second, it requires the abandonment of vengeance or of getting even which opens the door to the possibility of a future where old crimes are not repeated. The intent here is to break the repetitious cycle of evil and counter-evil. Third, forgiveness requires empathy for the enemy's humanity. Knowing the burdens of history of others and trying to understand why a person acted the way they did takes away the fun out of hating them. The fourth element of forgiveness is aiming at renewing a human relationship where the forgiver is prepared to begin living with the enemy again at some positive level of mutual affirmation.
Forgiveness is a future-oriented social transaction toward achieving some level of reconciliation.
However, for this to happen, the offender must match each of these steps of forgiveness with a corresponding step of repentance. These steps are repentance, gratitude that revenge is not in the offing, counter-empathy for victims' suffering and hope that reconciliation is now possible. If forgiving is optional, it is an option we can't afford to ignore in our world today. It becomes clearer with each passing day that the process of forgiveness and repentance is the best available path to enjoy true freedom at all human levels in our society. Let us honor those who have died in defense of freedom by rebuilding relationships and community, affirmation and respect for each other.