Alas, there have been fewer investigations of 'the' gay stereotype. But lately I've found myself somewhat intrigued by some discussions of this topic on the Internet. There's often more than a little pride in their belief that people can't tell they're 'that way,' though sometimes it's tempered with a 'some of my best friends are nelly' defense, lest they be misunderstood. I believe it offers some critique to this notion that 'straight-acting' gay men are both not acting and they have it so bad. First, let me talk about the stereotype issue.
Individuals can hold their own pet notions of what constitutes masculine and feminine behavior.
There is overlap, and plenty of unusual cases. But there is quite a bit of consistency. And a similar majority of adult gay men recall feeling 'different' from other boys in this regard. I don't quite know. In discussing this issue, though, my sense has been of two well-documented trends in how people describe their own behavior.