Ensure one of the two rolls is wet all the time. Paint all furnishings gray, white, or hospital green. Stencil everything with numbers. Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate hitting the knee-knockers and overhead while walking through the passageways. To ensure a clean and happy environment, sweep and dust twice daily.
Every week clean the house from top to bottom.
When finished, have someone inspect your work, criticizing as much as possible. Since you have no doctor, stock up on as many antacids, aspirin, Band-Aids, Robitussin, and suppositories as possible. To achieve the permanent, smelly, gray, dingy looks in your clothes, have a plumber connect the washer directly to the sewer lines. Additionally, throw clothing in a dark corner for a few days before drying. Every three weeks or so, go outside directly to the city slums, wearing your best clothes.