You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. The only time a husband is right when he admits he's wrong. Any man who knows all the answers to a woman's question has most likely misunderstood the question. Nothing confuses a man more than a woman driver who does everything right. The upkeep of women is the downfall of men.
Flowers are a gift brought by men to wives to accompany a weak alibi.
It is easy to handle women if you know how. The trouble is, nobody knows how. It may be bad etiquette for a husband to walk between his wife and the shop windows, but it is sure smart. The wedding cake is the only cake which, once eaten, can give you indigestion for the rest of your life. A sure-fire diet is one where you never eat while your wife is talking.