Edmund finally emailed me back, it took him a little longer than the duration of the weekend. I wonder how many people he consulted before he decided upon something decent to say to me. He told me not to hope for anything, false hopes he called them. No part of me really wants to anymore. He just proved, once and again, how little he cares, how little I mean, how his being a friend to me would be servicing my sad, little desires.
Friendships are relationships.
They take time, effort, work, and plenty of care to be good, fulfilling ones. Loving a partner is like loving a friend, your best, your closest friends. I don't even know how long it's been anymore. I'm able and more than willing to pursue a frienship and work on it, but I'm not a pushover for him, not now, not after all this. He can work just like I do and earn my friendship as I earn his, but it's really up to him.