So, in the midst of her tantrum, if you give her what she wants or pay too much attention to her, you're reinforcing the behavior. When you remove these reinforcements, her tantrums will increase for a while before gradually lessening. It works the same way as when you lose your money in a pop machine. You punch the button, you shake the machine, you holler at it, and when the pop still doesn't come out, it occurs to you to try something useful like call a serviceman. We parent the way we were parented.
Few parents have the benefit of formal training.
Also, children don't automatically know anything. Adults have to model and patiently explain. And they have to be patient with themselves, Baer said. Throughout my career, I've been struck by how much parents love their kids and how many of them succeed in raising happy, healthy children. No parent is perfect, whatever that means.