Of course this means that grandparents must refrain from laying blame on either parent. Instead they must help a child understand that grownups, like children, sometimes just can't get along with each other. Nearly every child can understand how one can have a close friend one day and the next can't even like him, let alone, love him. Also, most children can understand how one person can have habits intolerable to another, yet both may be good persons. Children need a listening ear that won't take sides.
Many children suffer from the belief that they have caused their parents' divorce.
Grandparents can reassure them that they are not responsible for the break-up and should themselves be especially careful to avoid placing guilt on anyone. There may be a period of time while parents are wrangling over divorce settlements when the children would be better off living with grandparents until the emotional dust settled. I have known many a grandparent who was the saving grace in a child's life during such a period of tension. Children don't do well when they are feeling the hostilities of two persons, both of whom they love but who have ceased to love one another. No matter how carefully parents think they have disguised such feelings, the children, nevertheless, pick up the vibes and suffer from them.