It's time to update the Declaration of Independence to make it relevant to today's youth. First, we've got to change the title.
Independence is so, well, retro.
The '00s are about interdependence and co-dependency, and helping other people, not helping yourself. We've got to stop with this cave man thing where you clear your land, ride your horse, and beat your chest about this freedom thing. Maybe it should be the Declaration of Interdependence, or Declaration of Good Thoughts. Something that sounds like it means less work. When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's god entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.