Compounded with the larger roles families play in Taiwan, coming out to them is often not cost-effective. Safety Net and Straight Jacket. For queers as for hets, Taiwanese life begins and ends with the family. It is both a safety net, and a straight jacket. Though democracy reportedly exists outside the family, it's still common for grandfathers to decide the votes of the entire family.
Love is tangled up with obedience.
And loyalty to your family, in a country where there is no social security for your old age, no free government health insurance, may be the only thing keeping homelessness and death at bay. At utilitarian best, the family is a nursing home, hospital, day care center and pre-school. Without state aid, when each member of the family depends on the others for well-being, if not survival, marriage, procreation, and the continuance of the family are essential. For traditional families, heterosexual unions are neither sacrament nor heady joys, but a duty. In other words, love comes and goes, but continuing the social structure is your obligation, especially for oldest sons.