This question conveys the true message that the parent are conveying. When the child wins, he or she feels good, the parents get to brag and everything is wonderful. With that shift of emphasis, the parent creates an entirely different world. When the pressure of winning is taken away, the child is better able to focus on learning which translates into better tennis and a more enjoyable experience. However, to approach sports and for that matter life, with this attitude the parent must have their own act together, so to speak.
Healthy parents are able to keep their children's needs clearly in focus.
These are the parents who talk with coaches not about rankings, but about development and pleasure. Is she making friends. How does she feel about tennis, about herself. The second part of successful communication is listening to the child. We can then do a better job of offering our support while surfacing realistic potential solutions.