The trick lies in striking a balance. As with all abstractness, it is very difficult to quantify or define 'right balance'. It depends upon the relationship shared in the home, the maturity level of the children and the parents and many other factors. One also needs to take into account the situational demand and then decide the right thing for that present. In the girl's case, all it called for was an adult to adult talk with the child.
Every child wants to be accepted, adored, admired and respected at home and by the parents first.
When a parent talks to a child adult to adult and the child realises that her feelings, opinions and responses are being respected, she truly grows up in those moments. Her sense of responsibility does increase. When children feel that they are not being trusted by their parents, their self-confidence and sense of self worth take a nosedive. In some cases, it could make the child recalcitrant and he or she may begin to play games. Unfortunately, if a child did that, we would have to shoulder a good share of the blame.