If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern. Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human.
Humans prefer clean tongues.
Be ready to fetch your human a towel. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem. The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.