Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. People get dizzy just watching you. You've worn the finish off your coffee table. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says. You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.