The gap between our expectations and our actual experience is often quite jarring. Even in the best families, we must adjust to a different rhythm of life and stubborn expectations which may no longer fit who we are. For those who feel distant from their families, this can be a time of reopening old wounds and emotional pain. Keeping the following ideas in mind might help you not only to survive the holidays, but to appreciate them for what they are and can be.
Frustration is built into the system.
Wherever our expectations of love and understanding are the highest, so will be our sense of hurt, disappointment, and betrayal. No expectations - no disappointment. Having few or no expectations is the best preparation for being satisfied with whatever happens. It is okay to attend to your emotional needs, even if this means disappointing others. Unfortunately, taking of oneself is often as interpreted as selfishness by others.