And I am not as available to my other children. She has become the problem around which most other issues revolve. They all desperately need and even want them though. Antidepressants, mood stabilizers and stimulants for hyperactivity seem the most commonly helpful medications. Someone other than family giving the same messages and a place to share grief over her disability.
Family counseling is really great for reducing stress on everyone.
Use the time without your daughter to schedule time alone and together. Educate the family together and plan together on how best to help their sister. Grieving a loss is a process and it never really ends. It has many stages and one is guilt. You have to let yourself experience the stages, work through them and move beyond them to really do your best for yourself and your family.