Rules are essential, but should be few in number and not too restrictive or complicated. Children must understand family rules, and when disciplined, must see the connection between their action and the consequences. As children get older, they are give some say in the rules and direction of the household. Rigid parents have many tight, inflexible rules and demand instant obedience. This style leads to resentment, resistance, and typically, a revolt in the teen years.
Floppy parents provide no structure or clear rules, and offer inconsistent rewards and punishments.
Backbone parents work together, set firm limits and have reasonably consistent consequences and lead by example. They adapt their approach to each child and treat children and each other with respect. This is a major source of stress for many families. Parents need to budget and save, teach their children how to earn and manage money and involve them in family finances. Children exposed to at least one major religion, who have an awareness of something greater than themselves seem to cope better under pressure - as long as guilt or fear is not perceived as being a big part of the religious culture.