I consider that an egregious error. Self-love increases our capacity to extend love beyond ourselves. Singer's exploration of the conflicts inherent in love is perhaps most compelling in the case of romantic love, which he says people today both crave and distrust. It is a state in which we may not always have reliable access to what we really feel. But that doesn't mean love is all illusion.
Love is a creative effort, and part of that effort is to overcome our illusions.
At the same time, Singer claims that the total merging of two individuals who are in love is an unattainable ideal. Like a joint bank account, love has an identity, but only as something that people experience without losing their own identities. Singer wonders whether modern society may be replacing the pursuit of romantic love with the avoidance of it, possibly for reasons that are more than merely cynical. It may be that the human race is evolving away from a need for this kind of love. Perhaps in 1,000 years there'll be some substitute.