Ultimately your real power is in that emotional bond. Over the years as I've worked with families, I have found that every family experiences power struggles. I've heard parents express frustrations over kids who've looked right at them, smiled, and then done what they've just been told not to do. As a result it was as though someone had put the lid back on a pot of boiling water but failed to turn down the heat. The water continued to boil and inevitably the lid popped off again.
Emotions are the real fuel source behind power struggles.
When you identify those emotions you can select strategies that teach your kids what they are feeling and how to express those emotions more respectfully and suitably. That was true of Kyla. No, she didn't want to call a friend. No, she didn't want to bake or read a book. And she was not the least bit interested in playing a game with her mother.