Simply state what you want, what you intend to do, what he is doing that you don't like, and why. Keep it cool and quiet and if he starts escalating, refuse to discuss it until he cools down. This type of approach should give him pause, or else he'll try harder to control you. Then you'll know what you're dealing with and can decide what to do. I'd recommend reading The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans to gain insight to his world.
Helps explain the different perspectives of the victim and the abuser.
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