Maybe you could help us to understand the root of your difficulties. I was not physically or sexually abused. They don't feel affection, and they don't bother faking it. When her kids try to hug her, my mother literally pushes them away. Or more often they are just totally ignored.
Life is about education, about perfection.
Children are products. There is no laughing in the house, there is no talking at the dinner table. Nothing you say, think, feel, is of any importance. If you are happy, you are annoying, and likely to be sent to bed for acting silly. There is no cuddling, comfort, nurturing.