Once again, for a relationship that started as an affair to work, these are issues that must be addressed. Rarely does an affair occur with a person that does not have an ulterior motive. These ulterior motives will need to be looked at and explored in depth. One of the most common themes underlying affairs is control. Many times, the disloyal spouse feels no sense of control in his current relationship.
Lies are a big part of affairs.
They are used to cover up the actions of an affair. With the frequent use of lies and deceit, this raises issues concerning truth and loyalty. When a person is caught up in the tangled web of an affair, it's usual that they will be willing to tell the other person what they want to hear, rather than tell them the truth. If the situation continues long enough, the disloyal spouse will begin telling themselves lies in order to justify their behavior. Often, these lies do not stop just because the original marriage situation breaks up.