You are not. God s spirit is joy. Yours is not. Then, you will see yourself as a delightful work in progress in the hands of an awesome God - joyfully loving your imperfect self. You will also begin to love your enemies, too.
Love is the secret of peace in turmoil and joy in stress.
Do not quench the spirit . The will of God in Christ Jesus for you is that you rejoice. The creator God made you in His own image. That image of God in you is what I am calling your Rolls Royce engine this morning. Your soul is created by God to run like a top and last for eternity, but it is a combustion engine.