A leader is a servant, not an authority figure. And if we have any authority, it should be because of our willigness to serve others and to sacrifice ourselves on their behalf. Christ, even though He was God, veiled His divinity and never demanded and clamored for authority while He was here on earth. He never wrote any books about His right to authority and dominion, even though He had all the rights to do so. A true leader does not clamor and insist on being a leader.
Leadership is always by the consent of the majority.
The Bible says, Love demands not her own, is not puffed up. The greatest requirement is not on the part of the wife to submit, but on the husband to love. One can always get submission either by force or by coercion. And this is easily done when women have already been brainwashed it is their Christian duty to submit to their husbands. One can submit out of fear of reprisal, but one cannot love sacrificially without God ruling the life.