And it's painful for them when schools, trying not to foster romantic notions of suicide, strip a student's name from class T-shirts and yearbooks, or forbid memorials. I was furious. I want to celebrate my son's life. Some professionals even object to eulogies or obituaries, though others say they should be tempered with references to a child's struggle with mental illness. Most experts discourage memorials, such as murals or scholarships in the child's name, because they can be perceived by some students as support for the act.
Experts suggest instead starting funds for mental health treatment and research.
Still, some local private schools have allowed quiet recognition. At Maryvale, at the request of Abby's classmates, administrators agreed to a small flower garden. And at Park School, administrators waited until the end of the school year to hold a memorial service for Lydia Schabb, 14. Fellow students also put together a butterfly garden for the Baltimore teen, who had been treated for mental health problems. Friends said it helped them heal, and Lydia's mother, Eileen Vorbach, was overwhelmed to see how much her daughter had meant to so many people.