I taught at a small independent school in Pennsylvania and have never gone back to the academy. Hate is not new. But in Littleton, for example, there was a combination of individual psychopathology and ready access to guns. We can't just focus on the dramatic headlines of school shootings and gay bashing to determine the scope of the problem and then hammer out some sort of improvised solution. They are alienated, they are frustrated, they are disconnected, and they are, to a large extent, unengaged intellectually.
Independent schools share some problems with the enormous public school factories.
First off, there is an emphasis on competition. Every time you set up such a system the message is clearly that other people are potential obstacles to your success. There is also the abhorrent and indefensible practice of grading on a curve. It's still not about students helping each other understand controversial ideas and moving off in unpredictable directions. It's still not based on the questions that students have, or their need to make sense of the world.