But it is not so easy to distinguish the effects of fame from the effects of the narcissistic disturbance that motivated the achievement of that fame. In the interaction when I surprised both of us by bursting into tears, he was unable to comfort me, and that was painful for both of us. We were both drawn to the illusion of specialness that his public image seemed to offer us. As a result, the experience of disconnection left us both feeling more deeply flawed and ashamed. When we were in public, we often tried to act as if we felt the special connection that we knew his image prescribed.
Fame enhances the desire to hide feelings of deficiency.
It enhanced the family tendency to hide many things. More than once my mother explained to me that neither of my parents could consider further psychoanalysis because of their need to protect my father's reputation. As a result they endured even traumatic misfortune without seeking professional help. That made it particularly difficult for me to begin my own psychotherapy, years ago. As a result of this emotionally charged issue I had to be reassured more than most about the confidentiality of the therapeutic relationship.