I've changed a lot too. The pain is diminished. I'm no longer intimidated. The local troublemakers look a lot dumber. And the real gothics that took the time to write to me, were a whole lot brighter than any of the twins friends.
Intelligence shines through the typewritten word the way light shines through a colored lens.
I'm not so angry or so frightened anymore. Either way, I know that I have done everything I can for her. I am just grateful that she's 17 now. It is a horrible place, to be responsible for a child that is involved in dangerous, criminal behavior that could lead very violent people to your home if she were living in it, and particularly horrible if you have younger children, outdoor pets, etc. It is still worse to be required by law to allow this child to live in your home and essentially do anything she wishes, even if doing so puts other members of your household at risk, because you are her parent.