If, God forbid,you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Body noises are permissible. Don't wear matching clothes. Don't have a clue. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.
Life is one big competition.
If someone is better than you at anything, pretend it's not true. DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.