Newt Gingrich is on his third Presidential term. There are more people from Newark than from Manhattan. You're told what will be the greatest moment of your entire life. Everything tastes like Twinkies. Englebert Humperdinck owns all the radio stations.
Lawn ornaments define coolness.
Everything is made out of razors. There are nothing but exits. My eyebrows never stop growing. I don't have the choice of actually killing the next bastard I meet. Every woman I meet instantly sees me for exactly who I am.