Both permissiveness and hyper-criticism are parental extremes. However, surveys have demonstrated that even permissive parents generally have better results than those who are constantly critical. Aim for a balanced approach, but if you must err, err on the side of love and grace. Speak often of your love for your children. Let them know they are special to you and to God.
Kids learn quickly to play one parent against the other.
Never allow your children to be disrespectful of their mother. Support each other. Present a united front. Your children will learn respect for authority, family functionality, and good leadership skills in a united home. When you admit what your children already know, you win their heart and their respect.