Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. If a dog gets old and starts to snap at you constantly, you can put it out of its misery. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. Dogs never buy Kenny G or Michael Bolton albums.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get a point across. Dogs never expect gifts. It is legal to keep a dog chained to the house. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about all the other dogs you've ever had.