Liberals can't stop table-hopping, even at the morgue. Liberals believe Judges should sentence convicted murderers to be seriously inconvenienced. Liberals think condoms are a kind of gift-wrap. Liberals think the Cabala was taken from Shirley MacLaine's diary. Liberals are quick to recognize the truth of whatever they make up.
Liberals believe morality is the cause of immorality.
Liberals have good skin but their souls have pimples. Liberals all look like E.J. Dionne because they can't help it. For a liberal's prayer to get to heaven someone has to get behind it and push. Liberals are never too busy to tell you they're too busy, and never too late to tell you you're too late.