Safety is of utmost importance. For example, if a person has a need to be treated with tenderness, one might see expressions of frustration or hurt on the face of the offended person. Honor, at the fifth level of intimacy, would involve asking the offended person to share what is needed. If an environment of safety was established, he or she could express the need for more tenderness. The feelings of hurt, frustration or fear are reflections of a person's deeper need for tenderness.
Healthy marriages take a lot of hard work.