When a client observes that I look like I have had a hard day, and I deny that I have, when in fact, the day has been extremely difficult, I have become a liar to someone whose trust is extremely important. This doesn't mean that I should proceed to describe my day to the client, but that I merely acknowledge that the client's observation is a perceptive and accurate one. While it is excepted that the therapist knows more in terms of psychology, the client knows herself better. That knowledge is as critical as the therapist's skills to make the therapy relationship succeed. The feminist therapist focuses on the enhancement of women's strengths rather than remediation of their weaknesses.
Feminist therapists accept and validate their clients feelings.
This limited reciprocity is a feminist goal that is believed to enhance the relationship. Milton Erikson spoke often of the importance of joining with our clients. It's difficult from my perspective to accomplish this if we are placed somewhere above our clients and often out of their reach. Perhaps, in part, the distance is recommended because it is not possible to observe imperfections and vulnerabilities close up without risking our own being exposed from time to time. Still, as much as I strive towards equality in my work with clients, realistically, the relationship inherently possesses certain characteristics that prevent it from being firmly based in equality.