The child's identity and individuation builds up along with a progressive separation from the mother, father and surrounding world, from being almost one in the womb, to becoming a mature, self-reliant adult. Separation is a must, if one means to grow, starting with birth. Relationship is the growth process itself . Observation of babies, cared for by a new different person every day, corroborates that these don't prosper and are in danger of ill health or of being psychically damaged, if not provided with a caretaker to whom they can relate, who can love and mirror them, in a continuum. So also, our aliveness dies, our problems increase, when we just stay identified with a selected set of primary Selves.
Identification makes face to face relationship impossible.
We cannot see, mirror or care for our inner Selves, if identified with them, nor set them free, if unaware of them. Developing an Aware ego, through separating our different Voices, Selves, Energies from it, and so becoming a witness to them, generates a caring, and yet independent, relatedness to these inner Selves, as well as access to the enriching multiplicity of our many Voices, primary, vulnerable and disowned. What I discovered in facilitating others, became also true of what is happening between my own Aware ego and Voices. This brought me to reflect once again upon a very old question, an old mystery. A cry born out of the intimate experience of total oneness with God.