And the first step is, not surprisingly, to aggressively look for the imbalances in our lives. Check that 2X 4 once in a while, and check just where our hand is. As I said, those imbalances can get to be so familiar that they may be difficult to detect, so the company of a friend is very valuable in rooting them out. Someone who knows you very well, or even more important cares about you cares enough to listen to you reflectively, and give you their impressions of what they see and hear. And one of the very first things that friend may reflect back to you is the way you use language.
Language is an immensely powerful shaping tool.
It shapes our attitudes, our relationships, our lives. I must attain this or that goal, get this or that done, or else I am a failure at my job, and I have let down everybody who depends on me. I must attain this or that goal, get this or that done, or else I am a lousy parent, or husband or wife, or friend or whatever. There is way too much weight being attached to them, and that means imbalance. Very little in life is either.