If you are dating someone then it's not rape. Forced sex is rape, whether it is your first or your fiftieth date. If the victim is under the influence of drugs or alcohol she or her cannot give consent. If consent has not been given, then it is rape. Marital rape is a crime in several states.
Force is required for it to be considered rape.
If intimidation, threats or coercion of any kind is used for the purpose of attaining sexual relations with an unwilling participant, it is rape. Rapists are provoked by their victims. Both men and women can be victims of rape, however, the overwhelming majority of rape victims are female. This was written with that in mind. If a woman has no cuts, scrapes, bruises or broken bones then it's not rape.