This is not to say there are no shining stars. Indeed, there are individuals who have made a point of including my children and me in various events. And, when I was in crisis, people were there for me. They brought food, ran errands and helped in various ways. But afterwards, I melted back into the shadows, and I feel alone and overwhelmed far too often.
Holidays are particularly hard.
Unless I have family in Greater Vancouver, I may have no place to go for festive meals. Every holiday and every simcha brings with it extra expense. I am, the higher the price I pay. Day school, synagogue, JCC membership, kosher meat, bar mitzvah lessons, Pesach food - the list goes on. I am grateful that many communal costs are handled on a sliding scale, but I also feel that this means I will never get ahead.