Many times, a third persons objectivity helps to show both of you what Biblical action is needed. Begin to provoke your spouse to love by deliberate godly actions. It takes the love of God reigning in your heart to subdue your selfish actions. In most cases, love provokes others to love and stirs them up to love you back. Think of a time when a friend has done something for you that was totally unexpected.
Love provokes others to love and takes care of the problem of inaction.
Every action of love is like throwing another log on the fire. The more you take deliberate actions of love, the more the fire blazes. You will naturally be attracted to the warmth of this kind of relationship, and it will naturally draw you closer together. Stop any of the deliberate sinful actions you are taking. If you want the fire of love to begin to burn again, you have to stop throwing water on the fire.