Don't have a clue. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it. No means yes. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. You may get sick or even die.
Life is one big competition.
DO NOT make decisions about relationships. Diss your girlfriend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Apologize whenever it's expected. If you hurt someone, pretend you care.