It is this younger self with all her pain and vulnerability, that will be present at the reunion. Thus, the reunion of mother and child is very complex, because there really are four people present at all times. To do so, it is essential that the birthmother get to know herself and the ramifications of her experience so she can be present, available and open to meet her child with his or her special needs. Then, as a mother and a parent she can help, teach, guide and support her child through the delicate reunion and post reunion stages. Perhaps the most important tool is education.
Education provides knowledge and knowledge offers insight.
This insight and the understanding of one's experience is what facilitates healing and provides the opportunity for personal growth and empowerment. Search for your child. Know that the search activity may represent an attempt to resolve this significant loss. Not so much by achieving restitution of the surrendered child, rather by recognizing the hope to connect with the lost part of herself. Recognize that this journey of self and reunification with one's child is a profound and intense experience.