I was forced to see his beauty and mine. And now I am forced to live without his beauty and to know that in the final analysis the Navajo are correct. In beauty it is finished. In beauty he is always with me. My gift was adopting my son and in seeing his humanity and in knowing that I lived inside him, too, all my rages, screams, anger at the world, and finally realizing through his death that we are all of us always learning, it never ceases anymore than the Rio Grande can stop, and that even though he was with me for a only a brief few years I am still learning even now.
Life IS chaos.
To me FAS means Free All Souls and has much more to do with living than it does with death. Yes, I continue to write. It is my lifeline. It keeps me alive and kicking. The old becomes the new and the new becomes the new again.