Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. Dogs don't borrow your shirts. Dogs never lobby for foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Both usually look stupid in hats. Both tend to have problems with their hips. Both look good in fur. Neither realizes that silence is golden.