Driver has control of drive-time music. At least one conscious member at driver's side while in transit. No illegal drugs in the van. No open containers in the van. When pulled over, claim to be in Christian country band.
Driver pays tolls.
What happens on the road, stays on the road. Van breaks down in Kearney, Missouri in -22 degree weather, forcing band to watch Chiefs playoff game in truckstop. The Chiefs won. Van drives through Boston, Massachusetts with Scott at the helm, retaining little to no damage. Van travels from Bozeman, Montana to Seattle, Washington nonstop from 2am 'til 11 am, crossing two mountain ranges while desperately following Mule van at break-neek speeds.