We know ourselves fairly well, and in our more honest moments we will have to admit that we are far from perfect in our efforts to help our children grow up. All too easily we react in a knee-jerk manner, swinging from not enough to way too much attention. The second thought relates to this. I'll tell you what to do, because I know best. Unfortunately, that's generally not such a good approach with children, especially the older ones.
Education means, among other things, leading to independence.
You do not become independent when you are told all the time what to do and what not to do. There must be space and opportunity to make up your own mind, rather than follow the mind of others. For those 'others', especially for the parents, this means allowing your children their own space and thoughts. And that makes helping difficult. Temper expectations that are unreasonably high, and help them overcome those depressing feelings of inability.