The silence includes your inner voice. This means that you cannot rehearse you next response. Here are some responses that create a situation in which you seek to be understood before you understand. These are behaviors that highly effective people avoid. This is more frequently exhibited in males than females.
Males try to solve problems, females look for sounding boards.
Probing Websters Dictionary defines a probe as a blunt instrument used to explore a wound. This diverts the discussion and should be avoided. Interpreting Reading between the lines and psychoanalysing are not techniques used by effective people. I feel like people aren't even listening to me. If you respond as follows, your answer leaves your friend without a solution to his or her problem.