Others are left alone with baby furniture, clothes, toys, and lost daily rituals of touching holding and listening to baby sounds. Friends, family and neighbors withdraw, not knowing what to do. Almost no intervention is provided to professionals and volunteer service providers who are affected by such a death. An exception may be a Critical Incident Debriefing in one agency, or a supervisor who can balance the employees need for empathy and protection with the need to feel competent and to continue work. Peer support is generally only a concept, not a reality.
Few departments have protocols for arranging funerals or providing staff support.
Professionals who share the same pain are seldom linked with each other and rarely attend the funeral, the wake, visit the grave, or attend the social gatherings that help people in mourning feel less alone. We are, however, beginning to learn. Los Angeles County had begun a monthly Grief and Mourning study group for professionals and advocates addressing fatal or severe family violence. Other similar forums are appearing nationally. Professionals and volunteers who address grief and mourning are beginning to address family violence, homicide and child survivors.