It is how couples solve problems that determines their love for each other and the quality of their marriage. Fights represent a flawed attempt to solve a problem. They begin with a conflict between a husband and wife. Instead of negotiating for a fair resolution, one spouse tries to force a solution onto the other. Anger, disrespect and demands make the effort unsafe and unpleasant.
Fights usually make the effort to solve the problem fail.
When couples are first married, they usually do not know how to negotiate fairly. Even when they are taught, it doesn't seem natural at first. That's because the most common states of mind in marriage make negotiation almost impossible. There are three different states of mind people have when they are married. First, the State of Intimacy , is a feeling of wanting to do anything the other person wants.