To me, it was just a signpost that I was on the right path. All I can say is there is a power there, an energy. Sitting down on your meditation cushion every morning usually results in practitioners confronting the aspects of themselves that they most dislike. A lot of people thought once I got into Buddhism I should become a 'good person', but it doesn't work that way. One of the ways Buddhist teachers work with people is to tease them, Watson said.
Emotions inevitably rise.
You have to get it to stick up its head if you want to catch it. Then, if you are stable enough, you can put it to the death. Understandably, facing the aspects of behaviour that limit you can be painful. It's like going to a dentist and asking to have a tooth extracted without feeling any pain. Having your ego extracted is the same.