For example, a woman who cannot abide being angry ''projects'' her anger onto her husband, who takes it up and behaves angrily in her stead. Intimate Worlds '' will appeal to many readers who are not familiar with these psychoanalytic concepts. From Ms. Scarf's case studies they will learn how families can betray important personal boundaries, develop tyrants, choose scapegoats and build or erode self-esteem. She includes self-examination exercises for readers to help them discover these unhealthy patterns at home. This theory holds that every member of the emotional system is deeply interconnected with every other member and that if a change occurs in one area, system-wide changes are inevitable.
Family therapy presumes total dominance of the system.
But sometimes individual family members act on their own behalf. For example, in a family where aggression is taboo, one child might act out aggressively because aggression was projected on him by others. But a child can also be aggressive without the family's collusion. The role of the individual is diminished in many systems theories. This metaphor gets carried too far.