First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Entries must be received on or before Monday, March 15. Winners will be announced three weeks from today.
Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness.
No purchase necessary. No One Reads was written by Don Cooper of Fairfax. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes. Report from Week 309, in which you were asked to come up with the first line of a doctoral thesis guaranteed to make the scholars' committee sit up and pay attention. Our university has, to its great credit, used this to build a faculty made up exclusively of scholars of the very highest order, from which it may, judiciously, skim the cream into its doctoral committees.