I grant forgiveness. Reconciliation is something we do. We must reconcile. Reconciliation is restoring trust in a relationship. Trust is earned through mutually trustworthy behavior.
Forgiveness is grated.
A wound is a primarily emotional event and healing of that wound requires a primary emotional event. Thinking is something that usually comes along after the primary emotional event and that thinking often leads to a defensive response. If we can't avoid a person who hurt us, or if we can't stop obsessing about the person, then we want to attack, feel narcissistic rage, and fight defensively. Anger and fighting is our second line of defense. If we can't win the battle, we usually get depressed.