In Dr. Brotzman s view, forbidding dating before age 16 relieves pressure on kids. Kids don t have enough role models saying, This is not the time or place for sex. Parents need to give kids permission not to have sex before they re ready, agrees Dr. Johnson. Plenty of kids want to hear that it s OK to abstain, she asserts. Discuss sexual relationships before your child gets involved with someone so that your comments would not be seen as disparaging a specific person.
Idealistic kids can t imagine the deep emotional perils of sex gone wrong.
Explain that even nice people can be insincere in the pursuit of sex. How much you share is up to you. Each year, as your children grow, you ll have less control over them. The smartest approach, Ms. Huberman advises, is to state, This is going to be your decision one day. I just want to say that I hope your first sexual experience will be in a loving, honest relationship.