We reformed our circle, rubbing hip to hip, and then ran screeching, outward to the far corners of the hall, flying, falling, jumping. Again and again we ran back to our symbolic center, arriving and departing alone. Finally we all gathered in a circle and stood, arm on shoulder, in silence. I remember the wonderful smell of sweat. As I look back over my years in community, this story, told to me for no apparent reason by my friend, Jimmy, comes to mind.
Intentional communities are circles.
I am not just referring to sex, but to all areas where women and men deal with each other, or work towards some common goal. Conflict isn't going to fade out when you all get it together, because learning from conflict is a primary reason for the existence of community. We must learn to employ these energies, not ignore or deny them. With reference to Jimmy's ritual experience, I think what occurs is that there are two distinct circles generated in an intentional community. One is populated almost entirely by women and one almost entirely by men, and they operate very differently.