The judgment, however, cues our eyes and ears to seek data that confirm the judgment. In this way our negative judgments lead us into unnecessary conflict with others and damage our relationships. Knowing that this unconscious judging process occurs, that we are easily and unwittingly mistaken about other people, we can learn to override our mistaken negative judgments. To do so we consciously choose to listen for the positive. Conscious thought overrides the unconscious.
Hopes are the universal positive qualities and values that motivate our behavior.
For example, we hope to connect with others and be understood by them. We also hope to have the freedom of our own thoughts and feelings. The nature of their thinking shifts away from blaming people and events. Instead their thinking becomes positive. They think about the good things they want and begin to think about how to bring them about.