Divorce is a painful experience, said Doherty, who noted that the high divorce rate may in part result from the success of our capitalistic society, which has fostered a culture in which consumers can choose what pleases them most and discard what no longer pleases or is useful to them. The impact of the divorce is, however, likely to affect the rest of their lives. It also affects their children, family, friends, and even society itself, he said. Today, many couples promise to stay together as long as they both shall love. The change in their pledge represents a significant difference in the level of commitment partners bring to the marriage.
Love is a feeling, but it also is a commitment.
It can be easy to maintain a relationship when things are going well, but few people can expect their lives to run on high forever. When a couple honors their commitment to each other and works through problems or down times together, they can strengthen their relationship. Ending a marriage without making an effort to resolve a troublesome issue can set one or both partners up for future disappointments-failure to resolve a problem in one relationship can mean that the same or similar problems will occur in subsequent relationships, Doherty said. Couples who experience inevitable problems sometimes balk at counseling. Yet, when a couple is unable to work through problems, they often can benefit from counseling with a therapist who is supportive of both partners and committed to helping them achieve a happy, successful marriage, he said.