Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.