Not Walls, ed. The authors discuss the importance and power of self-revelation in communication. They are manipulative or coercive, in that they seek to change the other person's behavior. Such statements often provoke a defensive reaction, which typically takes the form of either a hostile counter-attack, or withdrawal from the conversation.
Hostile retorts tend to escalate the destructive communication cycle, and promote mistrust.
Withdrawing tends to suppress needs and feelings, which can then erupt with greater force in later communication. I-statements on the other hand can halt this defensive and hostile escalation process. Expressing one's own feelings and needs tends to evoke trust and sensitivity on the part of the other. Thus, self-expression, by providing an opportunity for better understanding, is also empowering. The Power of Vulnerability Such self-revelation does entail vulnerability.