They live each day as best as possible, relishing the thought that the demented spouse, although impaired, is still alive and offers companionship, if not conversation. When a demented spouse dies, the caregiver initially feels a relief, because constant caregiving chores end. For a while, feelings of depression may even diminish. But as months pass after the patient dies, depression actually begins to increase in many caregivers. Why is not fully known.
Many caregivers continue to attend support groups long after their loved one has died.
Research tell us that caregivers who place their loved ones in a nursing home experience far greater grief than those caregivers who have a loved one die at home . Also, caregivers who experience the most burden from caregiving seem to have the most grief when the patient dies. If the caregiver bonded affectionately with the patient , then grief is less at the time of death. But if there were feelings of ambivalence and guilt between the caregiver and care recipient, then the caregiver feels more grief at the time of death. Caregivers who obtain support and comfort from family and friends at the time of death seem to feel less grief than caregivers who stay isolated.