You want to block it all out of your mind. You want to hide from it. You want to pretend that the thing you fear won't happen, can't happen. This, too, is natural, a way for us to protect our psychic circuits from an overload. But finally, you will have to accept the inevitable.
Human beings are mortal.
All of us will die. I am no exception. You are no exception. You may live through the present crisis and have a few more months or years together, but now is the time to make an essential decision. You can choose to complete this final segment of your journey hand in hand, as you have walked for some forty years, or you can choose to pull apart now and take the final few steps alone, each trying to protect the other.