At the same time as people are speaking out about how hard it is to be a family caregiver, there is a counter theme being promoted, she continues, that the rewards of caregiving are so enormous, that this is such a profoundly moving experience, that nothing else compares. It s a romanticization of caregiving, an indirect way of saying to women that they re better off going back to this role because of the spiritual rewards. It feeds into a backlash to return women to the home and is something to watch. Helping families carry the financial burden of care is by far the most important issue, says Rose Dobrof, but families also need support services and respite care. Caregivers need to know that there is a phone call they can make to get information or have someone listen.
Groups are essential.
There is magic in getting people who are in the same boat together. It is so supportive, transformative, to be in a room and let wives speak about hating their dependent husbands or children speak about hating their dependent parents. The Hebrew Home for the Aged at Riverdale, in the Bronx, began the nation s first overnight respite program in June 1998. We started the Elderserve at Night program when we realized that if caregivers could get a good night s sleep they could probably continue caring for the person at home, says Ann Marie Levine, Associate Administrator of Adult Day Services at the Home. These patients, suffering from dementia, need activities.