Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.