Get some exercise. Think before talking. Take time to ponder your contribution to a conversation that may be getting a bit weird. Don't be the first to arrive or the last to leave. If the family scene is too stressful, one may consider not attending, but write a nice note or make a nice phone call to let the family know that they are in your thoughts.
Love given through gift giving can be tricky and stressful on the finances.
Such debt creates a lot of stress not only on the pocketbook but the mind as well. Establish money limits for each person. Use cash and watch for sales. If money is very tight, try talking to those you normally exchange gifts with and suggest a price limit. Making gifts is another way of keeping costs down.