If you point fingers, point at yourself even while trying to address the other person's behavior. Talk about what you need and how you feel instead of labeling your spouse. The Value Of A Cease-Fire Learn to be realistic. If you can't resolve an argument, agree to timeouts. Let's say you and the wife have been caught up in a yearlong argument cycle about your ill-mannered son.
Every discussion ends in a battle.
She stops speaking. You storm out. It takes days for your collective hurt feelings to heal. I'll be ready to talk to you about this issue tomorrow morning. Like a gentleman's agreement, you both walk away, knowing that neither of you is in any frame of mind to resolve the current conflict.