I was glad she said, 'Come live with us,' '' says Freeman, smartly dressed in a coral pantsuit, her white hair perfectly coiffed. Though Freeman is in good physical condition for her age, her daughter selects her clothes, manages her medication and fixes her meals. After so many years apart, Wolf is happy to do it. ''I tell her, 'You took care of me. Still, all that togetherness can strain relationships. Caregivers, after all, are pulled in many directions helping their parents and appeasing their spouses.
Little irritations can build up.
Shirley Smith's mother, for instance, has a habit of dropping her teeth during meals, which isn't visually pleasant. She's not supposed to go near the stove, for her own safety, but she does. She wants to wash dishes but can't see that they're not clean. Smith lets it roll off her back. He balked at her moving in with them, but not for long.