I have found, too, that the more adamant people are in giving advice, the less valuable their advice is likely to be. Gail was absolutely insistent that Dan and I needed to divide up the cooking chores 50-50. She was operating from a philosophical base that demanded equality in its most narrow, legalistic sense. Her advice was rooted in that philosophy, not in an understanding of my marriage. My marriage is too precious to be undermined by other people's agendas.
Humans are fallible, and even the best-intentioned advice can still be bad advice.
There's no doubt that we sometimes need a sounding board or a sympathetic ear when we run into rough spots on the matrimonial highway, and I treasure those few friends whom I can trust to listen carefully. If I want to know what they would do in my situation, I'll ask them. But I've found that the most valuable thing they can do for me is to help me choose my own course of action. I've discovered that most of the time, the solution to a problem lies somewhere within our relationship, and the best advisor is the person who helps me bring it to light. And that's my advice to you.