A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. By the time you can make ends meet they move the ends. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.