I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory. If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an ass. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Don't get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house.