Children can also find themselves in the role of caregiver. At a support group meeting this author observed an eight year old daughter of head injured women telling her mother to sit up straight and to wipe her mouth because she was drooling. She explained that she learned to say this from listening to therapists at her home who were treating her mother and from hearing her father say it to her mother. This points to the inadequate education and training that children and siblings received about head injury and how to interact with their head injured family member. Too often professionals and adult family members feel because of age, that the children are unable to handle the reality of the situation.
Families often try to shield others in the family from the reality and the pain.
What is forgotten is that the children and siblings are living everyday with the reality, and everyday they feel the pain. This cannot be avoided. Early exclusion of children and siblings does not protect them from what they are facing, rather it makes the dealings more difficult. Placing too much responsibility on their shoulders can not be done without giving them the skills to better manage the responsibilities. Without the knowledge and the skills, we are setting these children up for increased frustration, increased confusion, and increased pain.