In less frequent instances, the midlifer may have a clear vision of the new life they want for themselves and will be willing to sacrifice everything to get it. In such a case, the midlifer has no qualms about walking away from a marriage because he or she has a specific goal in mind and may have already entered a new relationship to make the transition easier. Sometimes the sacrifice of a marriage to a midlife crisis turns out to be a mistake. The midlifer makes the passage, discovers that the happiness he or she seeks is the life they threw away, and returns home. Life does not go on as it always has because there are scars and bruises that must heal.
Forgiveness takes time.
Sometimes there is no home to return to, the cuts are too deep, time has expired on forgiveness. Sometimes a midlifer finds his or her new life to be worth the price. Even if their spouse is willing to try again, wants to forgive, begs for a chance to restore the marriage, they will not return. Not every midlife passage will turn into a crisis but for those that do, the passage will cause unbelievable pain to the person in the middle of it as well as to the loved ones caught in the grinder with them. There is no way to know which midlife passages will end with the marriage intact and which will end with the marriage forever broken.