Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit. Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than them were made to be hunted. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs don't hate their bodies. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.