Consequently, a first step in the therapy process for many male survivors may need to focus on establishing a feelings vocabulary and learning the skills to identify feelings. For some male survivors, therapy will be experienced as a very intrusive undertaking and there may be a resulting fear of therapy or of the therapist. In general, males learn to value the importance of solutions. Therefore, most male survivors will focus considerable energy on their desire to gather information, to understand, to have answers, to complete tasks. Inevitably, the male survivor will be confronted with the ambiguities and uncertainties that surround issues related to his abuse.
Feelings imply conflict.
Many males have great difficulty distinguishing specific emotional energies and, consequently, the presence of any kind of emotional energy is frequently experienced as a statement of conflict. As a result, men will often perceive emotional work as disruptive or counterproductive. They may try to redirect interchanges to facilitate the avoidance of feelings. Within this context, it can be predicted that many male survivors may be vulnerable to power struggles when therapy shifts from addressing tasks or solutions and seeks to focus on process-oriented activities. Many men learn to suppress their emotions and believe that dealing with feelings reflects a last-ditch effort to address a particular situation.