When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. Anyone can get a good-looking dog. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs never expect gifts. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. You never have to wait for a dog.