The first is a code of behaviour to make other people feel comfortable. Anything which inconveniences or embarrasses, makes life awkward or tedious or wastes time, or denigrates is bad manners. Etiquette is a set of rules which define certain groups, it divides the 'us' from the 'them'. It is which fork to use, how to address people, what time of day to call. It is like fashion, variable from one time and place to another.
Good manners are essentially to make no one feel excluded or inferior.
To someone who is innately good mannered, there is no 'them' and 'us', there is only 'us'. Another stop on the road to make notes. The other day at lunch in the kitchen Elizabeth, my secretary, Ken, my research assistant, and I were having a discussion about Priesthood blessings, wondering how anyone survived without them. We form a special bond with the priesthood holder through whom the blessing was given, and he gains a reaffirmation of the power of The Lord and his own marvellous part in its use upon earth. We followed a discussion begun in Sunday School class as to whether the efficacy of a blessing is undermined if the priesthood holder giving it is less righteous than he should be, or if the faith of the person receiving the blessing could overcome such a problem.