You notice what you look at and the things like them. If you see reasons to love someone you may see more of them than at first. Lately, I have been seeing H's efforts as too little, too late. But I know there ARE some good things I can focus on. And I know from experience that that can make all the difference.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It is so easy to focus on the negative triggers and ingore all the positive ones. In fact, this is to a great extent what our spouses did when they began their affairs. They focused on everything that was wrong with the marriage and ignored all that was good. And, once they leave the affair and come back to their senses they see that too. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.