Be considerate of your guests. Point out in advance where the injury-threatening springs are located on the sofa. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. No matter how broke you are, never take your date flowers that were stolen from a cemetery. If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in frustration.
Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Not if you are the groom. When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you cut. A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent. For the groom, at least rent a tux.