Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. Dogs never buy Kenny G or Michael Bolton albums. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get a point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It is legal to keep a dog chained to the house. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about all the other dogs you've ever had. Dogs like to do their snooping outside, not in your wallet, pockets, or sock drawer. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.