But more importantly, I believe God graces those who suffer profoundly with profound insight. I asked Archbishop Tutu about reconciliation and forgiveness. Forgiving doesn't mean turning yourself into a doormat for people to wipe their boots on. Our Lord was very forgiving. Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending things aren't as they really are.
Forgiveness is a recognition that there is a ghastliness that has happened.
They have an incredible capacity for always returning to haunt you. People sometimes think that you shouldn't be abrasive. But sometimes you have to be to make someone acknowledge that they have done something wrong. And forgiving means actually giving the opportunity of a new beginning. It's like someone sitting in a dank room.