If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs understand that instinct is better than asking for directions.
Dogs don't hate their bodies. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.