Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being - well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance.
Every child knows the difference between being talked with and talked to.
We respond to the needs of the moment - what must be said. As adults and parents, we feel responsible for what our children do and for what happens to them. We feel especially responsible when we have done our best and a son or daughter is not responding. Blaming Ourselves Let's suppose that eight year old David is having trouble reading. He seems to be falling farther and farther behind at school.