I have a very strong awareness of what is occurring and yet there are still times when I am in the middle of it that I raise my fists to the heavens instead of surrendering. The whole process of return is a dismantling of the belief system of the ego, the core of which is the illusion of fear. It is what monks go into seclusion for years to accomplish because they believe it is near to impossible to succeed in the outer world. This is what we are choosing to do and we are succeeding. Look back to where you were 5 years ago.
Light always spirals up.
That is spiritual law and we are light. Integrating this information for me was not a graceful process. I went kicking and screaming. I was told that we must embrace chaos before embracing order. There I was shadow boxing with Chaos, insisting that I had worked through all my fears, petrified that I might not be able to out run this process.