At the same time, you have shared some of your experience with her in a way that she might be able to hear. In other words, when you judge your friend even without telling her you are judging her, she feels the energy of judgment, and it is as painful to her as it is to you. Children in that age range do not have the ability to comprehend or manipulate concepts as you do. There is no vocabulary that can communicate sophisticated ideas as clearly to children as those ideas can be communicated to adults. Therefore, to communicate about this topic with children is more difficult than it is to communicate this topic with adults because you must model being non-judgmental for them.
Many adults speak of the virtue of non-judgment yet they themselves judge.
Therefore, one adult can explain not judging to another and still be judgmental. Yet to convey the idea of being non-judgmental to a child requires that you replace judgment with appreciation. If you wish to convey to your child that certain behaviors are not appropriate, you can still do that without judging those behaviors, without judging your child or those that exhibit that behavior. When you do that, you are demonstrating to your child non-judgment in a way that is far more elegant and effective than any other information can be. This is also the best way to communicate with adults.