You need to be firm but fair. A functional family talks about things. Kids don't need your Christianese. They need you to talk to them to affirm to them the individual people that they are. That is really important.
Functional families avoid comparisons.
This is asking a fire not to burn because, as parents, you compare kids sometimes very suddenly. You have to walk your values. You can't just talk them. So the Christianese thing just really falls flat. So affirming your kids for who they are in Christ is really important.