So, it's not cut off into a chunk called sex, it's a spectrum of interaction. I find it difficult to be grateful for where I am now unless I can be grateful for all my past experiences. Encourage your partner to say what pleasures her, what she likes and dislikes. Handle all insecurities, problems, doubts, etc. outside the bedroom door, so that within the bedroom is nothing but comfort and peace. Then you can experience surrender and flowing with each other.
Every sexual experience is different and perfect in itself.
Have no expectations that it will look a certain way. The sexual experience will not solidify a relationship that is shaky - it is the celebration of what the relationship already is. We need to love, respect and cherish ourselves and know ourselves as whole, complete and fulfilled beings with or without a mate. And we need permission to just be with each other as friends, not pasting a formula over each encounter. Our sexuality is part of ourselves and of every encounter, however it's expressed.