First, people have different styles of communication and each style works well in certain situations. Second, the differences between women and men are generalizations based on studies of North Americans. The styles may overlap and may be different in non-Western cultures. Bill knows that David and Jan see life from different perspectives. Jan relies largely on developing connections with people.
Conversations are a way of becoming close to others.
So for Jan, this committee is seen as a small community in which to develop relationships. For Jan, Bill's authority as chair is based more on friendship than on position. Jan strives to develop friendships with David and Bill. But David thinks that small talk is a waste of time. As a committee member, Jan prefers to reach a consensus.