You recognize his needs, he recognizes his needs, and so it would be a good idea to try to plan on helping him to meet them, prior to his arrival. Now, developing a plan and presenting it to your father when your are discussing your position in this situation carries the risk that it will either be accepted, in time, or rejected in its entirety with no hope of further consideration. If he becomes upset at your refusal to completely take over his care and will not compromise with you, I would suggest that you consult with a grief counselor about your father's behavior. Please allow me to explain. As you may know, grieving is considered to be a process that occurs in particular stages.
Grief counseling is considered to be a 'specialty area' within the counseling profession.
Grief counselors are not only very familiar with the different stages of the grieving process but are, more importantly, familiar with the behavioral 'signs' that may indicate that someone is having difficulty in coping with a loss. It would benefit you to be able to discuss your father's expectations, refusal to compromise, and general behavior with someone who is familiar with people's behavior during the grieving process. He or she may be able to help you better understand his actions and reactions and advise you on exactly how much you can do to help him. I have no way of estimating the number of meetings that would be required to accomplish this, but even if it is only a few, I believe that they would be very helpful for you. Additionally, you would also have a source of support to return to if the situation became absolutely unbearable.