For some reason, I thought that my marriage license was the equivelant of a masters degree in the school of life. Since then I have had four kids and reality has smacked me in the face on more than one occasion. Newborns have this sixth sense when it comes to parental sleep deprivation. They abide by some unwritten law that states that they will sleep better if one or more of their parents are awake. Newborns are completely and totally content when their parents are sleep deprived humans walking around in a zombie-like state.
Food can surpass the laws of physics once in a child's hands.
A 10-ounce bag of potato chips will turn to crumbs at the touch of a child's fingertips and are magnetically drawn to the living room carpet. This makes cleaning the house a mundane task and should be left until after the kids have moved out permanently. You don't have to raise your voice to get your child's attention. Heck, you don't even have to make a sound. There are certain things that will bring your children out of the woodwork and if timed right, will get them all in the same room at the same time.