This powerful influence makes some couples believe that abstaining from sex before marriage is implausible for them and not a normal way to prepare for marriage. The truth is just the opposite. Many studies of failed marriages have revealed that there is a much higher divorce rate among couples who cohabit before marriage. Cohabitation is just about the worst way to prepare for marriage. For cohabiting couples the risk of a divorce is 50 percent higher than couples who do not cohabit or who are not sexually active without cohabiting.
Domestic violence is also more common among couples who cohabit.
In the midst of a culture which approves of cohabitation, if not glorifies it, the Church must offer a counter-cultural preparation for marriage. Those who prepare couples for marriage cannot ignore this issue, but they are to candidly confront it in a kind and compassionate manner. Cohabiting couples cannot be refused marriage, but they should be made aware that their situation is not only immoral but is harmful to the future good of their marriage. They should be strongly urged to cease cohabiting and sexual activity as a sincere effort to prepare properly for marriage. Cohabitation is not only harmful to the couples themselves, but it is a source of grave scandal to others, especially younger brothers and sisters.