I think you are frightened of diving into your new life. Anybody would be. A woman married as young as you were, who spent most of her life with one partner would be especially frightened . He may be a pain in the neck, but he is company, and you know what you expect . Dina Dear Dina, Be patient.
Divorce is difficult.
Forging new bonds in your 40s is extremely difficult. You are frightened. Divorced men you will meet are frightened. Everyone has their baggage. Take your time, just be careful that you don't become too comfortable with a man you don't like and would never accept as a partner.