This humility, in the form of open-ness, allows the conflict resolver to listen for novel ways of working with disputants. We too easily avoid conflict because we feel that we do not have the skills to resolve conflict creatively and nonviolently. Violence itself is a way to avoid conflict because a violent act is done to stop the tension without fully understanding the conflict. To use violence, or to avoid conflict in any other way, closes us off from learning about important aspects of ourselves and others. Conflict may even uncover previously hidden personal and social issues that are key to personal growth and social development.
Anger makes conflict more difficult.
Most of us feel anxious in the presence of anger. Sometimes the source of anger is difficult to pinpoint. Often disputants may not know the source of their anger. There may be many sources. Usually it is best for conflict resolvers to hear anger as pain.