If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs understand that instinct is better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. Dogs never expect gifts. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.