I do not wish to take over your rackets, nor do I wish to be victimized by them. I do not intend to play sadist to your masochist, nor vice versa . For just one moment, imagine that you are not nearly so inferior, nor as important as you have been indoctrinated into thinking. In this moment, your paranoia will subside. Without prejudice, examine the many rules and tenets of Judaism, and you will recognize them as manifestations of compulsion neuroses.
Fantasy is derived from dreams.
I sincerely hope you get well, soon.