Torture is a deeply isolating experience. Many survivors report going through long periods of time where they do not want to live. Survivors of torture often suffer from cognitive impairment, including loss of memory, problems concentrating, and even difficulty staying present in the moment while others are talking. This latter symptom, known as dissociation, is the body's natural defense against unbearable experiences. Survivors who dissociate, are confused about dates, or who are amnestic for parts of their torture experiences are often not perceived as credible in situations such as their immigration interviews.
Healing is a long and painful process, taking many years, even decades.
Just speaking of the torture experiences in therapy can cause a survivor to descend into another cycle of pain through flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive memories. The smallest thing can trigger a trauma reaction. Being interviewed by a person with a clipboard can bring back memories of interrogations. Sitting in a waiting room can remind the survivor of waiting for his turn to be tortured. One survivor reported that the slightest whiff of cigarette smoke triggers memories of her torturers sitting in a circle around her, blowing cigarette smoke in her face while they interrogated and then raped her.