That's a bit different. But agape involves choice, and effort, and intention. And it can be learned. We can try to see ourselves in other people's situations, so we can have a better understanding of their feelings. We can even learn to love people we don't like very much.
Love casts out fear.
The fear behind these responses is very often a failure of compassion, of the ability to understand how someone else feels, especially those who are not like us. Often we 're taught this fear in our homes or our communities, even in some of our churches. But we can unlearn it, and we must. It takes away their human face, their identity as a fellow child of God. Fear underlies many of the negative and hostile interactions that we see all around us.