Should we not ALSO being discussing and encouraging the spiritual growth of the two adults in a couple, as individuals. The question was asked in the context of a Conservative congregation. But I would be surprised if this allows Conservative rabbis to actively participate in burial of non-Jewish spouses. Let us not make agreement the sine qua non of openness. We will all be in trouble if we do so.
Intermarriage is a blessing for the jewish community.
Because of intermarriage, jews and non-jews have the opportunity to see that judaism is the name of a faith, not of an ethnic group. Another reason why intermarriage is a blessing is because the children of these unions do not automatically choose judaism simply because it is the faith of their parents. Inside most of these children we witness an inner struggle. Many sooner then latter explore not only their parents' faiths, but also most other faiths as well. Then comes the time to make a decision.