However, you could not ever understand the duality of life unless you knew both sides of Creation. People who question their gender identities have usually spent many lives as the opposite sex. For example, a gay man has most definitely had many female lives. The more advanced you become, the more your feminine and masculine sides rise as you need them. People, no matter what happens, are not pleased with criticism.
Judgment merely adds darkness to the soul.
It's actually an emanation with the intention of annihilating another's ego. There are a lot of things that are worse than physical death. If you're around unpleasant, cranky, mean, cross people for any length of time and you have to live in close quarters or work with them, you should find a way to get away from them. Yes, many years are spent in planning an incarnation. The exception to this is a suicide, who must immediately go back into an identical situation.