People get dizzy just watching you. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. You're so wired you pick up AM radio. Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Instant coffee takes too long.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. Your thermos is on wheels. You short out motion detectors. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.