In a shocking last minute action, outgoing president Clinton issued an executive order that officially deregulates all branches of the US military forces, effective today. The arms sale will nearly even out the trade deficit with China, providing a shot in the arm for the trembling US economy. The Chinese will lease back the armaments to the US on a year by year contract. Hamhock reports on how the policy has been implemented and what is in store for the rest of the country.
LA County declares an emergency and requests anyone with an extra washboard to send it west.
Along In an escalation of the burger wars, Arbys has started to install cattle pens at all Missouri and Illinois franchises. Selecting the cow for your sandwich is only available at a few locations, but initial reports are that the cattle pen is a hit with customers, though not popular with neighboring businesses, unaccustomed to cattle stomping and snorting. McDonalds and Burger King have not commented, but if successful, Long John Silvers has stated that it would install aquariums nationwide. This site optimized for a green screen monitor. GetOdd news is meant to be humorous and not necessarily factual.