The child may no longer be living with the substance abusing parent because of separation, divorce, abandonment, incarceration or death. And the parent does not have to be still actively drinking or using for the child to continue to feel the impact of the abuse. In families where alcohol or other drugs are being abused, behavior is frequently unpredictable and communication is unclear.
Family life is characterized by chaos and unpredictability.
Behavior can range from loving to withdrawn to crazy. Structure and rules may be either nonexistent or inconsistent. Children, who may not understand that their parent's behavior and mood is determined by the amount of alcohol or other drugs in their bloodstream, can feel confused and insecure. They love their parents and worry about them, and yet feel angry and hurt that their parents do not love them enough to stop using. Despite the suffering these children endure, many blame themselves for their parent's substance abuse.