University of Toronto Psychiatric Services. Dr. Zener urged me to have myself hospitalized. The implication that I was sick was validating, but suicide would be cleaner than hospitalization. Suicide is finite and private.
Hospitalization is indefinite and public.
I would live in failure. I sat through countless lectures fearing and hating everyone in sight. Weakness was a betrayal of my moral high-ground. Now I hate with even less justification. I did what Zener told me.