More grist than a humorist s mill deserves. Tonto, the Lone Ranger said. I sent them kidding kudos for their brilliant, if not inadvertent wordplay, and this column has been buried in their slushpile since.
Editors don t handle a good umbrage well.
His comment, however, is still deserving of this column s first annual Freudian Slip-Spanking The Monkey Award, hereby bestowed. We ll forgive him the absent commas, forcing us to ponder whether I m composed of all adjectives and one noun, or vice versa. But, properly modified or not, Mr. Abram misses the big picture and couldn t be more wrong, with one exception. Counting my head and the middle of the bottom of my trunk, I have nine holes in my body. To be fair, when I wrote those remarks, Scott was exactly right, no holes barred.