Today couples, depending on how liberal their parents are, have a coffee or meal on their own either at home, or in a restaurant, before deciding to commit. Middle-class women are allowed to reject suitors favored by their parents. Engagements can now last six months. Western concepts of love triumphing over tradition can be seen in popular Indian films. However, many Indian women in the diaspora are in flux.
Freedom comes with a price.
Some women, after having ended several long term relationships, find themselves in their late 30s alone, with one foot in either world and judged by both. It goes without saying that no marriage, not even an arranged one, is inured from basic incompatibility or abuse. But the arranged marriage does have its advantages. Apart from the economic savings of a family home, shocks such as a death or the loss of a job can be absorbed. The system cares for elderly parents and grandparents who are generally isolated in Western societies.