You are going to keep picking distant women until you work this out. There are women that are distancers but that are connectable by instruction. You should seek that out. Also, you need to read about the role of the pursuer in my book. We always pick the person that gives us the most trouble it seems.
Love disappears after the honeymoanstage, which is when the hormones die down.
We only feel safe when the hormones are raging. We don't feel safe when love is quiet, which is after the honey moan period. The good news is that we can restore the magic and repair the damage to get the sizzle back. We need to trick ourselves into the feelings of the early memories when we were courting. At this stage, love is a conscious decision.