It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have.
Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources. Both are possible. Now I want to tell you five things to think about. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live.