Real cats do eat quiche. And anything else left on the table. They can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away. Real cats don't need names. But they often get called them.
Many Real cats are instantly recognizable.
For example, all cats with faces that look as though they had been put in a vice and hit repeatedly by a hammer with a sock round it are Real Cats. Almost every non-pedigree unneutered tom is not only Real, but as it hangs around the house it gets Realer and Realer until one of you is left in absolutely no doubt as to its Realness. Nor are they simply neurotic. They are both, at the same time, just like real people. A Real cat's aim is to get through life peacefully, with as little interference from human beings as possible.