First of all, you spend a lot of time and energy worrying that your partner is going to get herpes. In some cases, the longer you put it off, the more likely the telling will be awkward or your partner will find out elsewhere. The more you grow to care about someone, the more you want to tell them. For most people, the anxiety over not telling is worse than the telling itself. On the other hand, by telling your partner and allowing them to enter into the relationship with full knowledge of your infection, you reduce the likelihood of them becoming infected.
Excuses create distance between partners and often lead to dangerous guesswork.
Your partner might interpret your excuses in ways more detrimental to the relationship than an honest discussion of genital herpes would be. Partners may try to sweet-talk you into sex despite the fact that you say you have a headache. On the other hand, if the two of you are able to discuss the situation, openly and honestly, you can negotiate around it. Imaginative lovers find ways to weather these temporary setbacks. Importance of self esteem People can, and do, tell potential partners successfully.