He has made every effort he was capable of to mend things over the years. I realized shortly after the marriage that it was a mistake due to his nagging and harsh attitudes, but by that time I was pregnant, and so stayed. Things got somewhat workable, and not wanting to lightly jump out of a marriage without sincere effort, I went into counseling. He had a typical attitude that it was not for him and was worthless, ridiculing me for going. I choose now to walk away, take a drive, take a walk, whatever will avoid conflict.
Life is so very much more peaceful, but without a chance for emotional intimacy.
It is a relief that the children don't have to have us fighting, but we can't discuss even the simplest things that might cause conflict, such as finances or other concerns. Yes, we have been in counseling in times past after I left him due to the emotional and mental stress. I am having a terrible time accepting the meaning of the fact that I don't have a desire or drive to put much into our relationship, and I haven't done so for years. I feel like it is my duty to go through the motions of caring and nurturing no matter how I feel, and I can't and haven't. What is so easy to do with my children, I am not willing to do for my husband.