Seven Pillars of Wisdom, Part 4 of 7 Knowledge is power. Plug yourself in.
Compassion provides space for change.
Much of the time, we are caught in making judgments about others. The partner is found to be lacking, as compared to the fantasy version in your head. I was such a fool. The vast majority of people are doing the best they can with the resources and understandings they have. Unsolicited advice directed at getting a person to have an experience other than the one they are having will not work.