End of story. Just do it. Absolute submission can be a form of freedom. Confusing yourself is a way to stay honest. Expiring for love is beautiful but stupid.
Indifference is a powerful personal weapon.
You are a victim of the rules you live by. Deviants are sacrificed to increase group solidarity. Slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison. Taking a strong stand publicizes the opposite position. The most profound things are inexpressible.