Introspection is best but some people don't know what they want. If couples lack some of these romantic foundations, infidelities and affronts can occur. The good news for struggling couples is that affairs are not as common as one might think. When an affair is discovered, the key is getting a qualified marriage or relationship counselor to guide the couple through the emotional wreckage. But talking about the affair does not mean discussing all the details.
Experts caution that such details can be damaging.
These images of what happened can be very hard to get out of your head. Instead, Lusterman recommends talking about the issues that attracted the person to have an affair. The second critical step is that the discovered partner be respectful and supportive of the discoverer's feelings. Sensitivity in these instances will help reassure the discoverer and rebuild trust. Finally, Lusterman recommends that couples explore and talk about their marriage before the affair happened and understand that each party shares a responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship.