If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it s because you re being emotionally neglected. YOU never have to wonder if your orgasm was real. You ll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper. No one passes out when you take off your shoes. If you think the person you re dating really likes you, you don t have to break up with them.
Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
If you forget to shave, no one has to know. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her butt. If you have a zit, you can conceal it. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there. If you re dumb, some people will find it cute.