Romance and passion do not begin or end in the bedroom. Overt power struggles spawn arguments, which if resolved adequately can add sparkle to a relationship. Covert power struggles that never surface can deaden passion in a marriage. The hallmark of these silent struggles are relationships in which all potential disagreement is masked in compliant behavior. Often, one spouse has quite strong preferences and the other does not want to make waves so passively goes along with most of what his or her spouse wants.
Individuality is compromised and sexual desire suffers.
Saying no to sex may become an expression of autonomy and power when all other areas have been forfeited to keep the peace. Equality in relationships may also be a critical area for you and your husband. Couples' therapy can help the two of you explore the history of your relationship and what kind of passion you have had, as well as what vision each of you carries for the marriage. If romance, power, communication or other areas of intimacy need attention, you can work to develop or revitalize them together. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis or hands-on treatment.