After a while the soreness does go away, but, unfortunately, it takes a little time. Several companies now make saddles specially designed for a woman's anatomy. As for fitting, saddles can be adjusted forward and back, or tilted up and down. Both clamp and micro-adjust bolts are found underneath the saddle, and usually require an Allen wrench to adjust. Others require a 13 millimeter open end wrench or similar to loosen a nut on either side of the clamp.
Handlebars are very easy to change or swap.
The most common changes are for bigger or smaller riders who want a wider or narrower handlebar. If your handlebar put your hands significantly more or less than shoulder width, consider changing your bar. If the bar is too large, you can even cut it down yourself. As far as adjusting your bar, it can be rotated by loosening the clamp that holds it in the stem. That is, the sweep should not be pointing up or down, but directly rearward on a horizontal plane.