Everybody is in denial about something or the other, to some degree. Honesty and reality are the antidotes to denial. Denial which is not addressed will result in more abuse of increasing intensity. Abuse has very little to do with anger, and everything to do with power and control . Learning to live abuse-free includes learning how to give up that need to control others and learning how to control one's own behavior.
Abuse is supported by beliefs, values, and attitudes .
The social messages we receive from friends, family, church, media, and other places can support those beliefs even when the sources of those messages do not intend to support abusive behavior. Learning to live abuse-free includes exploring those beliefs, values and attitudes and, sometimes, adjusting the meaning of those beliefs and how we see the world around us. Abuse which is hidden is abuse which will happen again . Silence in response to abuse perpetuates the abuse. As the old recovery saying goes, we are only as sick as the secrets we keep.