Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never come to visit. Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.