Our orientation toward this communication system, therefore, must be to preserve its integrity by being respectful and honest with the information that gets transmitted through it with the intention of understanding it and having intimacy with it. The exchange of information should not be geared toward hostility and conquest. Thoughts aren't supposed to conquer feelings, feelings are not the enemies of thoughts. Pretense is not to replace truth even when we don't like it, and discovery is for understanding not for blame. By using the power of language to inform so that we will be understood and known, rather than to establish superiority or dominance, intimacy becomes the goal of the exchange.
Language used for intimacy becomes the goal of the exchange.
Language used for understanding provides the vehicle for preserving the communication system's integrity. Language used for abuse violates the integrity of the system and the person, and not only isn't the point, it should not be allowed. To give the power of language its rightful place we should teach the power of articulate speech that captures the intensity of our feelings, without using them as weapons, and we should not tolerate the abuse of this power that violates us and our system.