Children should be able to maintain contacts with their extended family. Children should be helped to defuse reconciliation fantasies by knowing the truth about the realities of the divorce. David Cannon, Guidelines for Separating Parents, Shared Parenting Group , January 3, 1997. Many children express fear of abandonment and losing the love of parents when they discover the world as they have known it is being shredded by divorce. A child s ability to cope will rest largely on how well the parents separate heated emotions from necessary decision making.
Language is critical.
Pastors need to talk about the divorce situation with parents in a language that respects the fact that while families may change through divorce, they don t ever breakup. Assuming both parents parent appropriately and this is the case for the vast majority make the assumption that both parents will be involved after they have separated as spouses. When a couple has made the decision to divorce, there is little you can do to stop it. But there is a lot you can do to help them through the process. A key move you can make is getting them the right help.