This bitterness leads to self pity which is a disastrous sin. Self pity is basically occupation with self and that is one of the greatest distractions in life. Self pity becomes very inflexible in the non-essentials and produces a weak person. Many seek to gain pity from others in the case of the loss of a loved one. And when people respond to the weak person because they feel sorry for them they only serve to contribute to their weakness.
Impersonal love eliminates the manipulation of emotions and self pity in the search for attention.
Our deeds are not to be performed in order to arouse attention from men but from God and God is definitely not intrigued by one's sorrowful self pity. It is not honoring to the Lord Jesus Christ or to the dead in Christ to become abnormal in one's grief or to perpetuate one's sorrow to the point of mental disorders. When you have disaster and trial and heartache what is needed is the reflection on application of doctrine, not pity from others. Your source of comfort in time of grief and sorrow must come from the Lord, i.e., from the metabolized doctrine circulating in the right lobe of your own soul. In the status of self pity there is no hope and no doctrine.