Recent findings, however, indicate that the long-term effects of divorce on children may not be as serious as many parents fear. Even better news is the finding that parents can help minimize the pain of divorce for their children. Numerous studies, including one over a ten year period by the National Institute of Mental Health, have found that in the majority of cases, a divorce does not cause permanent damage to the children involved. Such studies also show, however, that when parents handle the divorce poorly in relation to their children, there certainly is the potential for serious harm. The first suggestion may seem to conflict with the standard advice for divorcing parents not to be openly hostile.
Experts say it is also counterproductive to be too friendly.
More importantly, it creates for the kids the false hope that their parents will eventually get back together. Divorcing parents, however, should be civil to one another and continue to communicate in regard to the children. The relationship needs to be on a professional level. Issues such as the kids' schooling, health, and related activities need to be addressed by both parents. But sharing details about each parent's personal life should be off limits.