Before the soldier returns the parent and children should sit down and close the book on trouble they have had and guarantee one another that they will not reopen this chapter with the returning parent. Put the book away and start fresh so that family members can relate to one another with love and joy, rather than dread and feelings of pending doom. Don't succumb to the temptations of easy credit. Being alive means pain as well as pleasure. Living in a family means problems as well as solutions.
All families go through growing pains.
Struggle and mistakes are essential to learning. Families that involve children in choices with consequences teach the skills necessary to responsibly live in a complicated world. Families that authoritatively determine and control all aspects of children's lives elicit either rebellion or compliance with greater dependency needs. Adults and children need to be held responsible for the consequences of their behavior and actions. Understand the need for changes in a relationship.