It calls not only for us to recognize the grace that is available to us, but to be the grace that God has placed in us. Some years ago, James Fowler wrote a helpful book called Stages of Faith. If our parents were critical, abusive, or unreliable, we are likely to grow up with low self-esteem and an image of a God who is punitive and petty. If we had parents who were loving, we are more likely to grow up with a secure self-esteem and we imagine a God who is compassionate, loving, and present. As we mature through our life span, one of the real journeys is the healing of wounds to our sense of self, our idea of God, and our relationship to faith.
Fowler distinguishes six stages of psychospiritual growth in our faith development.
The first stage is a literal one. Angels and demons, fairies and monsters live here, and we tend to imitate and take on the beliefs of those around us. Stories, myths, and drama are interpreted literally, and the child demands reciprocity. Faith at this stage rests on a concept of fairness. You might imagine the elder son in this stage of his spiritual development.