Best wishes, T Dear T, OK, sit down, take some deep breaths, and read this carefully. Your symptoms of mild nausea, numbness, tingling, fleeting muscle pains, and loose stools are not really consistent with an HIV conversion reaction. It's much more consistent with anxiety, related to your fear of being infected. Most likely, you are not. Re-read your letter.
Life appears to be heading toward a dead end . . . .
It's a never-ending journey in hell. Those are very scary thoughts and you are imagining the very worst possible scenario. Please calm down. Check out other information on The Body's Safe Sex and Prevention Forum. See a therapist if you are having trouble with feelings of guilt or anxiety.