Children who don't know their birth parents frequently fantasize about them, adoption experts say. Sometimes the fantasies interfere with the child's new home life. Charlotte Vick, assistant director of the North American Council on Adoptable Children, cites the example of her own adopted daughter. She started blaming herself for losing her mother. After meeting her birth mother, the girl's feelings about herself changed and her problems at home diminished.
Kids can deal with truth and openness a lot better than secrecy.
Cooperative adoptions are so new that little research has been done on them. Despite their apparent success, some adoption personnel say there are still questions to be answered. Chris Robinson, Washington state's adoption supervisor, says cooperative adoptions may be more painful for biological parents than traditional adoptions. Birth parents normally grieve after giving up their children for adoption. The reaction dissipates with time, but Robinson is concerned that yearly visits may regularly reawaken it.