Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss her again. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things. You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.
Ignorance solves problems.
If you can't see them, they can't see you. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions. Create new words and phrases to describe genetalia, sex, semen, etc. Complain about not getting any mail. When people finally feel sorry for you and send you mail, ignore it and continue complaining.