I next inquire about possible sexual abuse or early seduction of the husband as a child or as an adolescent, which have eroticized him prematurely. At each succeeding visit I recheck these sobriety dates. If there has been relapse then I do relapse prevention work with him, identify triggers that set him off, and seek ways to circumvent these. I next explain to the wife that her husband has lost his free agency. And that's why promises don't work.
Good intentions mean nothing.
Her husband may mean well and really want to quit because of the terrible painful consequences, but he literally cannot do this by himself yet. He has to have highly specialized help. Most therapists do not know how to treat sexual addictions. Self control and self discipline or a rational approach generally don't change anything. With most people I see who are deeply addicted, prayers and scripture reading are usually not enough to solve the problem even though I believe that God could instantly cure the problem if He so chose.