They need to be in complete control of the relationship with the victim. Perpetrators may view any threat to that control as a threat to the self and may resort to violence to regain control and thereby their sense of self. Perpetrators have often been abused themselves as children and may have witnessed their fathers abusing their mothers. They often grew up in homes where violence was common and where one partner dominated the other. Thus they are socialized into a pattern of behavior and learn to resort to violence in the face of the slightest conflict.
Fear of abandonment is another common trait.
Perpetrators fear the slightest hint of independence on the part of their partners. They see it as a threat to the relationship and worry that their partners will eventually leave them. Perpetrators avoid taking responsibility for their conduct by minimizing, denying, lying about, or justifying their abusive tactics. Perpetrators may deny or minimize their abusive actions not only to avoid consequences of their actions, but also to ease their guilt about abusing someone they love. The child victim Perpetrators may use children to maintain control by directly abusing them or by threatening to use physical force against them.