We've been married 11 years and have suffered through 10 years of infertility. My husband constantly says that he feels burned out on sex after being forced to have sex on demand all these years. We have made love only five times in the past two years. I love him and will stay married to him, but I just don't know where to turn. Gayle Peterson Gayle Peterson, MSSW, PhD is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development.
Infertility can dampen the flames of passion in any relationship.
But you are experiencing a double whammy as parenthood also curtails spontaneity in a marriage and particularly in the area of sexuality. You may feel especially deprived if the two of you did not take any significant breaks from trying to conceive during those ten years. Your husband may be expressing the grief over lost spontaneity in your sex life. And you may represent the voice for reviving the romance. Both of you hold important aspects of recovery from the part of the relationship that was lost.