It will burn for the duration of the games in a large chip pan situated on the roof of the stadium. In previous Olympics, Scottish competitors have not been particular succesful. To redress the balance, some events have been altered to the advantage of Glasgow athletes. As above but with added obstacles such as hedges, garden walls, old age pensioners. Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen jewellery, and car radios as possible within the time allowed.
Entry is restricted to husband and wife teams.
The husband has to drink 15 pints of heavy beer. He returns home to be told by his wife that she hasn't made his tea. Juan Antonio Samaranch, president of the International Olympic Committee, closes the games and invites the youth of the world to assemble in four year's time in Edinburgh for the next Olympiad.