If you are going to have relationships, you are sooner or later going to have some conflict. You will probably barely remember him or her five years from now. If you are threatening suicide to see if someone cares, to keep him or her in a relationship, to avoid punishment, to get attention you are manipulating people to feel sorry for you and to be worried. Your tactic may backfire and instead of getting your way, you may die or they may dislike you more. That's a drain on a relationship that no one will put up with for very long.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller 48. Just as much as relationships compel us to want to die, a new or renewed relationship compels us to live. The thrill and excitement is out there for you. Don't be clingy, though. Have comparisons, date, have fun with lots of people and when your confidence returns, you will be ready for a solid relationship.