Family is noise every night, not silence where you hear crickets harping, from sunset 'til dawn. Family is you organizing for an hour so you can paint a picture they all admire. Note in your aloneness that your painting or writing isn't really happening at all. The great artist got rid of her family at last but the real art show went with them. That peach compote that got made once was the closest to a real work of art you ever did.
Family life is really an intricate, demanding art form.
Sure, It takes work, it demands creativity and artistry and passion and interest. We stopped making the effort. Instead of just doing the work we talked ourselves into getting mental scar tissue about it. We didn't listen to radio joyfully while washing dishes or doing the laundry. Instead of just baking the damn dessert and smiling and carrying the tray to the table we chafed against the strap until it made us bleed.