No person should ever physically hit, slap, or shove another person, certainly not a supposed loved one. Physical threats should not be made either. The abused becomes so unable to confront the abuser that she can not walk out. The most dangerous time is when she is walking out. NiCarthy is especially good for women still in the abusive situation.
Abuse comes in several forms.
The Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire publishes a large bibliography covering all forms of family violence. It will help you get out of this situation. Books aren't the only source of help. There are many Web sites. Moreover, there are many sites that focus on a more specific problem or on a special population.