Putting everything on the table is essential to developing a consensus with which both of you will be reasonably comfortable. You probably will not find a solution that is perfect for both of you, and it may take you a long time to reach it. Throughout this process, patience and the desire to understand each other's needs and concerns is essential, especially when little progress is being made. For some couples, substantial progress can be made in a few months, for others the process may take a much longer time. Patience is something both partners must cultivate and use.
Impatience just muddies the water.
It can cause considerable delays in reaching a point where meaningful discussions can occur and it sometimes results in irreparable damage to the marriage. If you really love each other and want to be together, you should be able to overcome your differences with a lot of hard work, patience and understanding. One word of caution, never assume that your first agreement is final because the assumptions you make initially, will probably change as both of you work through any fears and misconceptions you have. This approach is actually no different than the process that you both probably use in other areas of your life as you adapt to changing circumstances. What makes it seem more difficult is that cross-dressing is such an emotional issue.