That she really wasn't dead, just asleep and that I was in some nightmare. I didn't want to organize a funeral. I was still denying the whole thing. Every organ was perfectly healthy. Now comes the long road to recovery.
Every day is a nightmare, with too many emotions to cope with.
Anger, frustration, guilt, denial, tearfulness, and every day I walk around 'phased out'. If nothing else, Alyssa has taught me that the simple things in life offer so much comfort. We seem to complicate everything, and really its all very simple. You can read the funeral details in a link from the main page. There will be photos there as well, so as a warning, you may not wish to view them if you are a sensitive person.