If the company won't work with you, consider canceling your impound account and paying the tax and insurance bills yourself. Hardly anyone really understands how the taxes work. There is no gift or estate tax due until an individual exceeds that dollar amount. My company is telling me that unless my wife signs off on it, I can only receive a monthly pension. My wife is refusing to sign anything.
Companies can pay no other options unless the spouse signs a waiver granting something different.
If your wife will not sign the waiver, there is nothing you can do. You will receive a monthly pension that will provide your wife a pension if you die before her. Let us hear from you.