At a loss for words, parents often unknowingly build an invisible wall between themselves and their teenage children. And this is exactly what a parent should never do. The dictatorial approach At times like this, playing the great dictator can backfire. Using words like, because I said so as the only explanation is bound to encourage defiance. You have to communicate to him that you are both on the same side and that you sympathize with his need to be cool and be one of the gang, but at the same time you are concerned about him.
Lectures are a surefire turnoff for the average teenager.
After all, it is not like they think smoking and drinking is good for health. And the fact that they do it behind their parents backs just shows that they are well aware that parental approval for smoking dope and drinking beer is not forthcoming. There are several reasons why a teenager may take drugs or alcohol. Some teenagers are just bored and like to experiment, while others do it to be accepted by their peers. Teenagers who are shy, lonely and lack self-confidence often find that drugs and alcohol transform them into life of the party.