Her value is determined utterly by their approval. Ophelia is torn apart by her efforts to please. When Hamlet spurns her because she is an obedient daughter, she goes mad with grief. Depressed in elegant clothes that weigh her drown, she drowns in a stream of flowers. Most girls choose to be socially accepted and split into two selves, one that is authentic and one that is culturally scripted.
Girls learn to be nice rather than honest.
Girls who have recently learned to bake cookies and swan-dive aren't ready to handle the offers for diet pills. Girls who are reading Pippi Longstocking aren't ready for the sexual harassment they'll encounter at school. Girls who love to practice the piano and visit their grandmothers aren't ready for the shunning by cliques. Girls feel enormous pressure to be beautiful. Appearance was important when I was in junior high, but it's even more important today.