They are looking for a total merger. That is all good. People reject good possibilities because the match is not a perfect one and frankly, I see that as a way of avoiding commitment. First, stop looking outside of yourself. That means you have to stop blaming others.
MOST people are still stuck at the blame phase.
They still believe it could be different if their partner was different. Even if you say you don't believe this, there is a good chance you still think it silently to yourself. Next come the ghosts - your history. Understanding how your past is keeping you stuck. This is crucial.