See her for who she is. Do not make her your mother or your first wife. She is an individual. Listen to what she is saying. Sticks and stones will break her bones, but words will kill her spirit.
Few things are more destructive to the bond of affinity and affection.
Treat sex as a sacred gift, not an entitlement. Learn to be an emotional partner. Not a senior partner, not a junior partner, but an equal partner. Work together for the common goals of the relationship. Work individually to support your partner's emotional self.