Do not buy and sell things inside the church. Set up your concessions table outside. And run specials occasionally, such as a cents-off coupon. The Lord wants earth people to shape up. Live the olden way.
First step is grow a beard.
Step three is to love your neighbor, be he a chain smoking fatass or a lying weasel. Now you're ready for paradise. For more information just write to God, care of NASA the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, Box 317, Space, Texas 81337. And stick on one of the new 52 cent stamps. Most of you know by now about the next impending increase for first class postage.