I suppose I should warn you before we start that this article contains material of a slightly risque nature. I also suggest you leave your Magical World of Make Believe with Friendly Dancing Pixies and join us here on planet Earth. Because your child has already learned everything there is to know about masturbation. No parent in America has ever sat through an entire episode of Barney.
Kids watch it religiously.
Think about it. And finally, all of you Prodigy users don't even have to worry about this. I'm sure Prodigy has already censored this article, and probably my entire web site, just to make sure. So with that out of the way, I thought I'd let you know that a woman called me up last night and asked me if I wanted to masturbate with her over the phone. Yes, I'm quite serious.