Some people have a high and others have a low emotional intelligence. The answer to how do you do it is, with spiritual intelligence. High emotional and spiritual intelligence both are doing the right thing. High spiritual intelligence occurs when we access the sense of inner peace by using our conscious faculties. When we are experiencing this sense of Peace, Love and Joy we will see, hear think and act differently than when we are feeling insecure, unloved, unhappy.
Emotional intelligence is the diagnosis and spiritual intelligence is the treatment.
It takes spiritual intelligence to understand where feelings come from. Spiritual intelligence is like learning how to turn on the lights. If a person is in the dark and they are seeking light, you want to teach them where the light switch is and how to it on. I am not interested in learning, if it will not turn on the lights for me. The point is, you have to do it.