You develop the feeling you cannot break through. You start to think everything you try won t work. Your sense of self hurts, and your esteem goes down the tubes. General doubts flood your mind. You wonder if you can ever, even if given a hundred million lifetimes, find your higher consciousness, make the grade.
Failure is agony.
Not only is failure so painful, but other people seem so superior, so able, so successful compared to you. Your sense of failure adds to your sense of separation from them often initiating jealousy and subsequent possibilities of hatred. While your failure looms larger and larger in your mind, the successful people around you seem to be a different and superior species. Another agony is your conflict of direction. You may be trying to please everybody while also meeting the demands of higher consciousness.