My girlfriend is Macedonian, extremely homesick and our relationship is strained to the point of breaking by having to live outside her country. Repatriating would have secured the longevity of our relationship. It is an intellectually very challenging work. Though I renewed contact with them, their answers to my pleas are so cold and hurt that I doubt if the offer will be renewed. Compulsive self destruction.
Compulsion is a coping strategy.
It is intended to diffuse or to prevent anxiety. It brings relief in its wake. Indeed, I was relieved to have devastated my own future. The Narcissist engages in self defeating behaviors as a way to avoid or destroy commitments, patterns, relationships and frameworks. These tend to smother him.