Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote.
Home is where the house is.
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.