And example is the picture of the Southern Belle as having the real power in the South by manipulating the male, not vanquishing him. Theoretically, this comes from rational-choice theory which suggests that we choose the alternative that will come closest to getting us what we want, given the situation and our choices. Certainly the position that Pollock seems to be taking in this case would seem to indicate that women are taking the situation into account. See new lecture notes on Rational-Choice Theory and Crime Prevention . But not all of us, as you have pointed out, Stan, agree that choices in this area are rational.
Many choices result from the emotional concomitants in the social setting.
For one theoretical source here consider Edward T. Hall and his discussion in The Silent Language on the level of affect that accompanies the informal, formal, and technical levels of discourse. Since the situation in which violence occurs is most often informal, the highest level of affect will be present, suggesting that rational choice is less likely to intervene than it might at the technical level. Another theoretical approach would be the biological one you suggested, fight or flight. Again, this would suggest that rational thinking doesn't count for much in these instances. Biological theories of crime are amply discussed in Adler et al., but not from the perspective you raise.