If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dogs parents never visit. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It's legal to chain a dog to keep it at home. Dogs never keep you waiting, they're ready to go at the drop of a hat. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, perfume, or jewelry. Dogs don't disagree with anything, no matter how stupid it is. Dogs seldom outlive you.