Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dogs parents never visit.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. It's legal to chain a dog to keep it at home. Dogs never keep you waiting, they're ready to go at the drop of a hat. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, perfume, or jewelry.