For some things, forgiveness takes a very long time. Most times, forgiveness is accomplished a little at a time, in steps that are comfortable. It comes with practice, with accepting God's forgiveness, and with God's help. Putting conditions on forgiveness most often is an excuse for me to delay the forgiveness God wills. That might seem harsh.
Distance helps there.
These are spiritual issues. That's why real forgiveness requires us to pray . Even those prayers change over time. At first, I might pray that God punishes the person who hurt me. Then, I might pray that I have the willingness to attempt forgiveness, just because that's what God expects.