Her lack of curiosity and her insistence on making food her main point of focus are crucial in maintaining her ignorance about herself. As long as her secrets remain unknown to herself, Mary will continue to feel she is in constant danger. Because she is oblivious to the torture and heartbreak she experienced in her past, she has not learned to recognize and avoid abuse in her present. She may allow abusive people in her life, even invite them, because she doesn't know she has more power than she did as a child. For her, abuse is more than familiar.
Abuse feels like home.
The Way Out Someday Mary might become curious about herself. If she does she might begin her triumphant journey. Triumph actually begins with defeat. Once Mary knows that everything she has tried has failed, she may open herself to something new. Their pain, fear and despair is so intense that they are willing to reach out to something unknown and perhaps frightening rather than continue their way of life.