Fortunately, you can prepare an estate plan through which you make different choices about how you want those matters handled when the time comes. You can make your wishes come to pass, whatever they might be. Yes, even if you do not have much money or own any real estate, a will is a simple way to make your intentions clear. Otherwise, your lover or family of choice will be at the mercy of your biological family. Even if they seem cool now, they might be less so when they are asked to give up rights and property which, even if morally obligated from one point of view, they have no legal obligation to surrender.
Death brings out the worst in people, especially family members looking for someone to blame.
By drafting a Designation of Health Care Surrogate , you can state who you want to make important medical decisions for you in the event that you are unable to communicate them yourself. Drafting a simple Designation of Preneed Guardian would avoid a fight between your lover and your family because it allows you to state for yourself whom you would want to serve as your guardian if you ever needed one. In most states, the title must specifically state joint tenants with rights of survivorship , or J.T.W.R.O.S., for ownership to pass to the survivor. That can result in a real mess if there is no estate plan in place. Unfortunately, given that ours is a homophobic legal system and emotions run particularly high when it comes to children, we must be especially careful to arm ourselves with knowledge and, frequently, document our intentions.