In my research we began applying three messages as cognitive tools to untie the victim. When you forgive, you can not blame. If you do not blame it's exceedingly difficult to become angry. What you cannot become angry about, you do not fear. When there is nothing to fear, there is nothing to become angry about or no one to blame.
Life is simply a miracle and living is the process of maximizing the miraculous experience.
Every thought or deed becomes therefore differently oriented. When you accept responsibility for everything in your universe, you gain the power to make changes. The real changes are made in you and thus your experience of life and self become qualitatively different almost immediately. You are in charge of your inner environment, and your beliefs, attitudes and emotions do matter to you. Your health, your enjoyment of life, your ability to become all that you are is inescapably involved in your ability to forgive and let go.