I would want you to consider what you are actually modeling for your children. You can approach orgasm and then back off and keep repeating this. Then you will see that you have control over the timing of your orgasm. During sex is a good time, whether you mean it or you don't, and another good time is when you are not having sex. Telling a woman that you love her is one of the most validating, endearing, and important things you can do.
Love is more important.
Sex can be had with a bunch of different people. Love is more particular and has to do with the union of souls as opposed to the union of genitals. I would be very suspicious of a guy that says after two years that he is interested but doesn't want to commit but wants to have sex. In those three items he has communicated how he envisions the relationship. We had sex for the first time the other day and he just started spanking me like there was no tomorrow.