In the heat of the moment, think before you speak. In conflict, analyse whether you speak from love or fear. All men and women have fears. Some deal with it better than others do. Some cover it up better.
Fear can be a motivation for controlling others.
We control people we are afraid of losing. In doing so we bring about the very situation we dread. Possessive love can sometimes seem like hatred and often leads to it. The true self is beyond ego. I notice how problems start when I talk about my fears to those involved in them.