A cycle of violence that includes control and domination by one of the partners is occurring. Many victims will attempt to defend themselves by fighting back. The victims actually likes the abuse and agrees to it. Domestic violence is not sexual behavior. Domestic violence involves no such contract.
Domestic violence is abuse, manipulation and control that is unwanted by the victim.
When there is abuse in the family, all members of the family are participating in the dynamic, and therefore all must change for the abuse to stop. Only the perpetrator has the ability and responsibility to stop the abuse by seeking help. Battering is a behavioral choice. Many victims make numerous changes in their behavior in the hope that this will stop the abuse. This does not work.