Dogs don't shop. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and, after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.