I'm still not there. And I don't think I will ever be there. I don't know if I need to be. The trick is to be present all the time, with the future in peripheral vision. If I tried to wrap my head around decades of married life, I don't think I'd understand.
Life comes in baby steps.
Bit by bit, putting it together - that kind of thing. If I can keep my focus on what's now and what's next, the big stuff should fall into place. Please remind me of this lunatic optimism in mid-February. The moon tonight was a dusty yellow, quite different from its purer incarnations earlier in the week. On the way home, a police car stopped in the middle of the Huguenot Bridge, and the police officer jumped out of his car and talked to a woman who was standing on the bridge, looking.