Love that has the power to overcome selfishness is unconditional, like God's love for us. Surely, it is knowing that we are already loved. That is the healing power which overcomes selfish fear and suspicion and liberates generosity. Conversely, nothing damages people, especially children, more than manipulation by withdrawing love. Offering and withholding or threatening the loss of love, is a power game that is truly demonic.
Love is the opposite.
It is enabling. Loving without conditions is healing, helping and saving. So effective is the love of God that by his grace the golden rule is a practical possibility. That is grace. That is what make the impossible possible.