We should have been prepared for this. We used to like an occasional cigarette, until we became wary of addiction to nicotine. We used to think having a cocktail before dinner was a pleasant part of our routine, until one of our more puritan friends informed us that such regularity was probably a sign of impending alcoholism. A throw of the dice seemed like a harmless diversion until our neighbor recommended Gamblers Anonymous. At one time, we thought we were addicted to love, but it turned out to just be an infatuation.
Lawyers are, no doubt, hugely excited by the new findings.
We had always thought that the job of a researcher was to gather information. Now we see the error of our ways. Some publishers, such as our evil twin brothers at the Athens Institute, have already started to deal with the problem by establishing sites such as the Positive Press , which simply ignores all the bad, silly, inane, and outrageous news, thus whittling the world's information down to a very manageable level. Here at The Outrage we think nothing short of massive new government programs can prevent the coming nightmare of a generation of information addicts. Once this new cabinet-level department is established, information pushers will no longer have free reign to push unregulated amounts of information onto vulnerable information consumers.