She feels wasted and used. Repulsed, her sex drive is now gone. She is suddenly disgusted with her own genitalia. She finds herself dirty because she is selfish, selfish to think than anyone could find pleasure in her decaying body. Marriage has become a system, a corporation, a company, gone bankrupt.
Expenditures wildly supercede profits.
Long hours of trivial mindless work fill both their days, a treadmill of responsibility they run just to stay on top. Kids need this, food is prepared and eaten scraps thrown out, ironing and washing and cleaning up and organizing and lunches to make for tomorrow. All the while nibbling on tidbits in the kitchen, ignoring the piggy magnet on the fridge door, the moo moo sound as she opens the cow cookie jar, her conscience pricked with silent guilt. The world around her is a grey kaleidoscope, twisting. She tells her friends over coffee that her children keep her going, but inside she s not sure.