Ultimately, after grieving the loss of parental rights and the loss of control for a while, parents must consciously choose between gratitude and bitterness. This step is not easy, nor is it a passive decision. It is hard work to decide to let go, and even harder to begin to forgive. In the end, adoption reversal is like no other parenting loss. It is its own uniquely painful experience.
Families seek ways to move on.
They look for practical advice. Understand that while this loss may not be recognized or validated by society in general, this is a significant loss. Have someone else make all those first calls to friends and relatives and field the initial questions and reactions. You can talk to everyone when they call you to offer support and when they are ready to listen to you. Have someone call your employer to explain the situation and pass along news to co-workers.