Meanwhile, way down under all that you just know there has got be some other way to live, some better way to look at the world, some way to touch life more fully. You click into it by chance now and then. You get a good job. You fall in love. You win the game.
Life takes on a richness and clarity that makes all the bad times and humdrum fade away.
But then that fades, too, like smoke in the wind. You are left with just a memory. That and a vague awareness that something is wrong. But there is really another whole realm of depth and sensitivity available in life, somehow, you are just not seeing it. You wind up feeling cut off.