They merely take up space, and often wonder what point this serves. Some spend a lifetime trying to perfect the right moves so the dance will work. Others become so self-conscious, they can barely lift a foot, turn a hip, or swing an arm. They never understand that the cause of their paralysis is not their own inability but the unresponsiveness of their partner. In all cases, t he door to anxiety and depression springs wide open the sense of being a lousy dancers lasts a lifetime, and, for reasons I will explain in future essays, often dramatically affects relationship choices.
Every child is different, and deserves to be seen, heard, and responded to in their own unique way.
To inoculate your child against depression and to build self-esteem, it is most important you continuously discover who your particular child is and learn to dance with him or her. Sometimes you will lead, and sometimes you will follow. This is fine. It is not just what you do as a parent that matters, it is what both of you do. Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Articles on Parenting, Voicelessness, Relationships, Narcissism, Depression, Psychotherapy, and other topics in Mental Health plus links to additional readings.