It's a calling, a strategic investment of my life, and I want to make the wisest choices possible. I'm much farther ahead in the wisdom department than I was in my twenties, but with half the energy. Some pastorates call for more energy than I have, so I know not to allow them to consider my name. Some battles I won't fight anymore. For example, I need to be part of a creative worship service, so I'm not interested in going to a church that hasn't begun to move in that direction.
Any pastoral search is a lengthy process.
It's an uncomfortable feeling, kind of an emotional adultery, because it keeps me from fully engaging in ministry where I am. It doesn't cause me to love my people any less, but it's hard to move ahead when I believe I won't be there long. If there's a problem, it's easy to think, I don't need to confront this person. I may not be around in a few months . Once, I was so sure I was leaving that I planned my final series of messages.