Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever bought a Kenny G. album. No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Its legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you have ever had. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their life. Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a lobster dinner.