Now convince me that conspiracy theorists have no choice but to embrace a three-party form of government. And don't phone it in. Go ahead and stay slumped over the ottoman while I place my fists just under your sternum and proceed to deliver a series of short, upward thrusts. Well you should've thought of that before parading it right here under this loose floorboard. You're right, they are getting closer.
Feet look official.
But first, as penance, I pause to embrace a righteous, though fleeting, sense of remorse. Redemption is mine. Curse those incriminating high resolution pixels, the Glock, and the blow. In my retreat, and solely on your behalf, I cast silent aspersions on mandatory minimums. Emery boarding my fingerprints into unrecognizable smears, squirreled away safely at no fixed address, I reflect on my largely circumstantial gambol in your basement.