Your idea of weightlifting is standing up. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. You wake up looking like your driver's license picture. The pharmacists at Walgreen's have become your new best friends. Your AARP card gets worn out before your credit card.
Happy hour is a nap.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. The twinkle in your eye is merely the sun reflecting off your bifocals. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good. You sink your teeth into a good steak, and they stay there. It takes you longer to rest than it did to get tired.