I think there was enough adrenalin in me that I could've pulled a truck by myself that day. We couldn't just keep crying night and day. And I keep thinking if I had bought a brand new bassinette with a good, firm mattress, that he'd be alive today. We weren't rolling in money, so that's why I got what I got. But guess what.
Life has to go on.
No matter what happened. I did do a vast amount of crying. Crying alllllllllll the time. I still think about him. I didn't hear him that night.