And I want nothing because there is nothing to want. Because nothing anyone could give me would make me feel happy again, because nothing in this world can ever fill this void which consumes everything and takes everything away from me. I feel tired, tired, tired, exhausted. I have neither the courage nor the strength to face life. Everything, every event in my life will come around and repeat itself in an absurd and senseless infinite loop.
Depression is the dreadful Nothing.
It's everything you don't feel, don't think, and don't experience. Six months ago discovered that E was more effective than all the different antidepressants I had been prescribed. I now take it about once a fortnight and would say that it works every time, but then again I tend to take it in controlled conditions - indoors, at home. I don't fully understand how it works but would very much like to. The nature of my work is extremely solitary, so I am usually alone when I take E for depression.