That you want your Higher Self, your Father with-in to lead you to awakening. And once upon awakening you want to become enlightened, and then led to Cosmic Consciousness. Remember, this may take along time, but the way there is beautiful, and well worth the time. And isn't it about time you were happy. Had all of the love you need all of the friends that you could handle.
Life is supposed to be enjoyed.
I did not have these experiences because I am on a better level than anyone else, I simply had them because I went with the flow and was opened to them. If I die tomorrow I would be happy, because I have fulfilled it my life. You can find your purpose and identity through your dreams. I met a doctor in New Jersey. He said that he was recognized as one of the best heart specialists in New Jersey.