I try to apply our Marriage Preparation arguing technique by not placing blame and only pointing out how I'm feeling about a situation. It doesn't seem to work, he always feels someone is right and the other is wrong Gayle Peterson Gayle Peterson, MSSW, PhD is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development. Your husband's over riding shame about needing outside help is understandable if he came from a family where perfectionism ruled. But his manner of negotiating with you is taking a negative toll on the marital relationship. Clearly he could benefit from seeing things more objectively.
Intimacy diminishes in the wake of coercion.
Anything he agrees to do in the past for you is a done deal. He may be over accommodating you until he cannot tolerate it anymore, and then expects this to justify getting what he wants later. This may have worked in his family as a form of negotiation, but it simply does not work with you. Part of forging a strong couples' bond is creating patterns of interactions and processes that you can both agree to and abide by. Start by reviewing the ways negotiations took place in your childhood.