I think scriptures give us clues about how to help our spouses with typical insecurities and needs. Wives tend to be insecure about being loved. Husbands tend to be insecure about being competent and in charge. When wives are a husbands best cheerleader and validator, husbands blossom. Sadly, we tend to get this backwards.
Husbands find lovemaking affirming.
Wives tend to find being loved affirming. Wives want to be loved, appreciated, related to. Then, more likely to be amorous. Men somehow often miss this. Husbands want to be appreciated, taken care of, affirmed.