But I suffer from motor neurone disease, an incurable illness so aggressive that it is gradually destroying my body. The nerve cells which control my muscles are progressively being destroyed. Ultimately, I will be paralysed, unable to talk to the people I love. My intellect will remain intact, serving only to torment me if I wait to let this illness kill me, as it inevitably will. I do not want to lie helpless inside a body that doesn't work, while my husband and children wait for me to die.
Life is too fantastic to end it in misery.
And while my wish is to die peacefully with my loved ones beside me, I have to accept that can never be. Instead, while I am still capable of the act, while I still have enough strength and movement in my muscles, I must commit suicide. By its very nature, that means I must make my decision to die while I am still capable of enjoying life - but that is a sacrifice I must make for all our sakes. I have not yet decided how I will take my life, or where. But to ensure that I do not compromise the people I ache to protect, I know I must do it alone, and without warning.