It is enjoyed most when it is prompted by love. A desire to fulfill your partner and bring pleasure. If you feel that your married partner is not fulfilling you sexually it is something worth talking about. When a man loves a woman he will delightfully desire to bring her sexual pleasure during sex. He will not rush it.
Good things take time.
They are just evidence of another problem. A problem of sin and demonic oppression. The woman who loves her partner will relax in his presence. She will not be afraid to show her feelings. Real sex involves love, commitment, respect and sincerity.