As long as it's her doing it. If I say the slightest thing such as infer that her behavior has severely damaged the feelings I once had for her. That is just as bad as her torturous abuse if not worse because I really mean what I say. I'm glad you finally put your foot down. She seems to be trying to improve.
Hate is about anger.
By the way, there is no way in the world you should not have the anger that you have. There is also no reason why you should fix it with her. People choose to for various reasons. They may not have the anger you have. The decision to fix it is a personal choice.