Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never lobby for foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Dogs aren't catty. Dogs seldom outlive you. Found posted to an Internet newsgroup, credited anonymously.