It also chips away at the bond of affection between parent and child. Several research studies have found that 40 to 50 percent of people said they remember hating their parents while they were being spanked as children. Rather than focusing on punishment, Weber said her workshop emphasizes providing parents with a wide assortment of tools that help them teach their children what to do, rather than what not to do. In some cases, that means changing your own viewpoints about what is misbehavior. Another important parenting tool, Weber says, is guidance.
Guidance teaches children responsibility and builds their self-esteem.
Guidance includes explaining limits, rules and expectations. If your child wants to stay in the toy aisle of the department store, explain that she can't stay alone because it isn't safe for children to be by themselves in a large store. Let your child know that you want her to come with you, not because you are impatient and unreasonable, but because you care about her safety. Even parents who use prevention and offer plenty of guidance may still have times when these techniques don't work. At these times, Weber suggests using consequences with children.