Yes, the strike zone is now the size of a coin slot. Yes, Patrick Ewing's knee just made a shambles of your marriage. But violence is not the answer. Profanity is not the answer. Revenge is not the answer.
Curses are the answer.
Curses are forever. Curses are harder to take back than clearance sale items. Unfortunately, most curses are hopelessly out of date. May your hens get the itch and your cows the disorder just doesn't have the oomph it used to have. What you need is a new curse.