The message of love is that the loved one is a valuable human being, of importance on their own right and not because of their relationship to someone else. This is the casual kind of love between strangers and acquaintances. This is the love of friendship, when two people share time and feelings together. All of these are love. All of these are life-affirming.
Love is the active, two-way expression of human worthwhileness.
Love has very little to do with verbal expression. It has a lot to do with action. Only the actions count. Love only works when our actions toward the loved one are life- affirming. This character from TV's All In the Family, would say he loved his wife, Edith, but he always acted as if she were some kind of moron.