Obstacles to adjustment include different family histories, emotional attachments preceding the remarriage, husband and wife at different parental stages, children at different developmental stages, and sexuality. Accept validity of different life cycle phases for adults and children. Understand the normalcy of the problems and be willing to talk to one another about them. Be willing to negotiate incompatible needs. Be willing to respect each other's feelings and opinions.
Communicate individual needs clearly.
Develop tolerance and flexibility. A solid marriage is at the foundation of a successful stepfamily. Accept couple as primary long-term relationship. Take time to work on problem areas, if they exist. Plan time to be alone together.