Even for teenagers, parents need to be involved rather than shut out. Thus, given the high suicide rate among teens, and the tendency for these to be emulated, if a kid committed suicide in my son's school, and my son seems rather depressed and he is spending long hours alone in the library, it is my minimal duty to know if he merely reads Dostoevsky or the books of The Hemlock Society, which informs its readers how to best end their lives, with minimal discomfort. I also had better find out if one of my children is deep into Mein Kampf , the Unabomber Manifesto , or The Anarchist's Cookbook , so I can help him learn to properly deal with these poisonous books. In effect, attending to the character development of children, so when they grow they will be equipped with the moral and intellectual faculties needed to make responsible choices, is to a large extent what parenting is all about. Anybody can provide room and board.
Love comes naturally.
Amitai Etzioni teaches at George Washington University and his next book Limits of Privacy will be published in the spring by Basic Books.