Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car. You can have a BEER in public. BEER doesn't have a mother. BEER doesn't go crazy once a month. BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles.
BEER is never overweight.
If you change BEERs, you don't have to pay alimony. BEER doesn't need much closet space. BEER doesn't mind football season. A BEER will never buy a car with an automatic transmission. A BEER is always ready to leave on time.