A beer doesn't want children. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer. A beer isn't ready until you're ready. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.
Hangovers go away.
A beer tastes good. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub. A beer is never late. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.