The 10 Rules of Monkey Care 1. When performing lung resuscitation on a monkey, be sure to use small breaths. Monkeys cannot be toilet trained.
Human companions are no substitute for their own kind.
Monkeys are easily persuaded. Seek the advice of a veterinarian. If your car is equipped with a flux capacitor, do not attempt to time travel with the monkey in the front passenger side seat. It's safer in the back. Monkeys can get very hot in the summertime.