A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. Good times are even better when they're shared. A good long talk can cure almost anything. Everyone needs someone with whom to share their secrets. Listening is just as important as talking.
Laughter makes the world a happier place.
Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. You can never have too many shoes or girlfriends. When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the jerk who made you sad. When you are worried, I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining. When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.