You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them. There's always a game on somewhere. You have to take out the garbage. No sofas in your restrooms.
External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
Even if you get your head caught in an industrial woodchipper, you're not allowed to cry. James Bond movies only come out every two years. Ribbed for her pleasure, not yours. You have to wear ties. You can't flirt your way out of a jam.