A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs like to rough-house.
Dogs understand that farts are funny. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. Anyone can get a good-looking dog. If another dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs don't shop.