The challenge then is to live with that legacy, pain, and disappointment and if need be find a way to make choices that take you to as near to where you would have otherwise gone as possible. Just as with any trip, in life, if you can't take the road most traveled there will no doubt be some incredible scenery to partake of on 'the road less traveled'. My guess is that 'the road less traveled' just has a few more winds, bends, curves and hills in it that require us to take a little extra care and to be a little more patient with the life that we have unfolding all around us. The journey may seem circuitous but it's the process of getting there that bears that the true treasure. Recovering from BPD does not mean life is all smooth sailing.
Life is a challenge for everyone.
Believe, me, working to remove the road-block of BPD has been well worth it for me. But that isn't the way life works for anyone, whether they have or have had BPD or not. If nothing else, while working to make your way through the roadblocks created in your past do not continue to repeat the same choices that lead to this kind of outcomes. Be responsible and exercise the choices that you have in ways that will enhance instead of hinder the meeting of your needs, wants and dreams. Learn to feel your sadness.