You may be fascinated by yourself and your company. Nobody else is. Explain why your offering is better than alternatives and bring in the main benefit and incentive, if you are offering one, quickly. By benefit, I mean what the product or service does, rather than what it is. By incentive I mean what you'll give people for responding, seeing a presentation, or buying.
Incentives overcome the fear of being sold.
They encourage reading and response. So unless you have good reason, the incentive should be impossible to ignore. Get to the point - fast . Weak beginnings lose your readers when it matters most. Many writers put in a couple of paragraphs of waffle before they get to the point.