Fatigue, lack of interest, resentment and difficulty switching from nurse to lover are among the reasons given. Both spinal cord injured individuals and their nondisabled partners report feeling treated like a parent or child. Relationships are at risk whenever equity and equality - about finances, parenting, maintenance or planning are compromised and one partner is heavily dependent upon the other. Certainly relationships involving spinal cord injury fall into this category. In a perfect world we might hire someone to do all the care, but for those of us who don't live in that perfect world, we must constantly monitor our emotions and feelings about care giving and separate them from our feelings about sexuality.
Balance is essential.
When one spouse is carrying most of the load, or a spouse has no way to reciprocate, the balance is upset. If you're not going to have a peer relationship, you're not going to have a sound marriage. A solid sex life is hard enough to achieve in the best of marriages, let alone in those that are on shaky ground. Indeed, what happens in the bedroom usually reflects what's happening outside it. As we age, we're more likely to suffer depression.