We are all responsible for the choices we make and the consequences of those choices . None of us are responsible for the choices made by others. Being responsible for a bad choice includes admitting what was done openly, admitting that it was a choice, making amends as possible, and taking steps to see to it that this bad choice will not happen again. This is called accountability. Abuse tactics come in many styles and intensities .
Abuse is always a choice, and it is always wrong.
Anybody can abuse, and far too many do. Recovery is something each of us has to do for ourselves . Each of us comes from a different place, each of us faces a different challenge, and each of us has a different set of strengths and weaknesses. And we all have different understandings of things. None of us is capable of healing for another, or doing for others what they won't do for themselves.