As far as your tears are concerned, they signify both the depth of your love and the depth of your loss. Releasing them is not only a part of what it means to mourn, it's also a part of what it means to heal. In the course of our journey through grief, there are many steps that you and I need to take to heal, grow and live again. When I ask you to listen to me, and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me, and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
Advice is cheap.
Twenty-five cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious, and I don't need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them. So, please listen and just hear me.