There need be no lingering over what was just done, nor any though about the results. Tai ch'i is done ultimately for its own sake. I found this concept, this teaching, this wisdom could be applied to everything else in the day. If I could move through my routine as if it were a tai ch'i form, never attaching myself to any one point or stage, and walking away as if nothing had happened into the next, I could surely survive with most, if not all, of my sanity and self intact. It's a process that I am still working on, as we near Bens third birthday and await the arrival of a sibling.
Every day is a chance to remember that very simply idea.
Some days I completely forget about it, and windup at six o'clock with my teeth clenched. But most days are wonderful, though sometimes I don't realize it until he is in bed and the house is quiet. Then Alison and I settle back on the sofa, and little things he did or said come floating up, and I realize how much I love him, and how much he changes me, and how wonderful the whole process is. And just as his life is pure process, so is mine. The place I am in right now, as I write this, is only a place to move through, and another chance to walk away into the next moment, as if nothing has happened.