In too many instances, discusses hooks, parents felt that 'taking care of' children was sufficient. Further nurturing or expressions of genuine inner feelings were not necessary. But, as we now know, this is not the case. We don't want to discount that those things matter, because they do. But they are not necessarily love.
Love is a combination of care, responsibility, respect, commitment and trust.
Hooks' thoughts about love give pause and provide grist for reflection. But that is the challenge. Perhaps it is not supposed to come and be sustained so easily. If we're correctly nurtured, then giving and receiving of love in later life should not be the challenge that it so often becomes. You were made to feel that individuality was, in many ways, wrong.