Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down the throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink a beer. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus jab. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect.