We must explain in advance approximately how the chapel will look and where they will be sitting. If unable to be close to them, a member of the family or friend should hold their hand. Children should be told that some people may be crying. Tears are not evidence of weakness. When people of all ages cry, they share an inexpressible pain of separation.
Children understand inclusion far more than exclusion.
No matter how helpful and therapeutic a funeral may be, children should never be forced to attend. Children benefit from gentle suggestions that they can visit the cemetery at another time with someone they are close to. Funerals do not end in chapels, but often after the dead person has been accompanied to the final burial place. We should never assume arbitrarily that internment is too traumatic for children. Again, the details of the procedure could be explained and we consult with them as experts about their wishes and needs.