Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas. Tell me what you know. Puns are for children, not for groan readers. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.