I believe that self-centeredness is not our natural and necessary state but is a result of our lack of community. If I don't feel closely involved with others, caring for them and being cared for by them, trusting them, sharing their joys and sorrows, then I have to take care of myself, worry about my own welfare and security, ignore others or compete with them. Of course, acting this way further weakens and destroys community. This process has been going on for a long time now, so that the sense of community has grown very dim for most of us, even though we still use the word. Our social institutions are based on and reinforce soap opera attitudes.
Individualistic competition is stressed in our schools and in our economic system.
We make extensive use of threats, coercion, and punishment. Even when we want to change our society we tend to think in terms of opposition, combat, trying to defeat our enemies. This isn't totally wrong, but very limited. What's missing from this view and what we especially need is healing . We need to develop practices, groups, a whole way of life that promotes healing and sustains wholeness.