When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever bought a Kenny G. album. No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. Its legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you have ever had.