Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. Dogs never need to examine their relationship. A dog's parents never visit. Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.