The most valuable gift that we can give children is a feeling of positive self esteem. Children need to feel loved, accepted, competent, understood, and appreciated. In order to develop a positive self esteem in children, parents need to feel that they are loveable and worthwhile. Parents need to find ways to look after their own self esteem needs before they can help their children develop feelings of being valued and accepted. Examples of how parents might do this are making time for themselves, taking a course for their self-development, or developing a supportive group of friends ot talk to during the hard times.
Babies gather impressions about themselves from how they are treated by their parents.
They respond to the ways that they are lifted, held, fed and talked to. When parents are hurried and tense, babies are often fussy and uncooperative. When parents are more relaxed and can focus their attention on the baby rather than on the task to be done, a feeling of warmth and security is shared. Parents who play with their infants and respond quickly to their needs, give them a message that they are important. Positive self esteem does not come from allowing children to do whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it.