In the Foreign Service, as we routinely move to a new country after two or three years, we are given that rare opportunity to live many lives. If one doesn't appeal, chances are the next one will. One can immediately see both the good and bad sides to this unique lifestyle. But we do learn some things each time we move.
Every post is different and everyone wants something different out of it.
We do, however, have control over our own response. Sometimes, that's the only control we have. One of the biggest factors affecting spouses' identity in a new country is the job we have, if we are lucky enough to have one. But in all countries there are certain parts of my identity I will never give up, that always remain the same, and that's comforting. I will always be a mother, first and foremost.