And neither is leadership. I'm not saying that you must put your feelings aside and deny your human side. I'm saying that, in leadership, cooler heads prevail. Part of consistency is making decisions based on facts - evaluating the situation, weighing the options against the possible outcomes, scanning your experience, and then making a judgement. How you feel should not be considered.
Feelings are changeable variables that have little relevance in decision-making on the job.
A good leader thinks. Fine tune your communications skills - both output and input. But speaking and writing comprise only a small part of the total communication package. Good leaders know when to be quiet and listen to the men and women they serve. Listen to what people say and how they say it.