The first way to encourage independence is to help our children feel secure. This means providing their basic needs every day. Basic needs include food, shelter and clothing in addition to lots of love. Infants whose parents respond when they cry for a bottle, a dry diaper, another blanket or to be held and rocked learn that they can trust their parents to take care of them. This helps the baby to feel secure.
Children feel secure when they know what to expect.
That's why it's important to be consistent with our rules. When children know the rules, they feel more sure of themselves and how we expect them to behave. Routines help children feel secure. When children have a routine to follow before going to bed or when getting up to go to school or play, they can learn to do many of the things for themselves, instead of having to be reminded. This begins to develop independence.