Whatever we intend is separate and independent of our actions though we often try to portray them as being one and the same. If we do something out of manipulation then we can be assured that what we expect to experience because of the action will somehow be short circuited. The catch twenty to is that we cannot change our intention without changing the need to affect the change we desired. They are tied together and as soon as we lose the intent we lose the need to 'do'. Life is often filled with paradoxes as if God has given us the problem and the solution at the same time but until we figure out the problem ourselves we will not be able to see the solution that was there to begin with.
Love is just such a problem.
Learning to truly love is learning to be without that which we love. Love untested cannot be love. Love that only exists in the presence of the beloved is nothing. Connecting to the unconscious is one of the first keys in learning how to navigate to a better life. The unconscious is the one part of us that knows exactly what we need, exactly why we are here and exactly how to go about accomplishing our deepest desires.