It's crucial to think about such issues ahead of time, and decide how you are going to share parental responsibility. When Kathy Bowman, age 35, met and married her husband Joe, the situation was a little different. The couple knew right away that they wanted to have children, but were concerned about how Bowman's daughter, Valerie, would take to having another child in the house. Val suddenly felt like a stepchild. While this couple seems to have made the perfect choice, Whitham advises that not all couples are the same.
Babies can wreak havoc on coupledom, as the partners' time together gets sacrificed.
She adds that she does have clients who have had children later in life, and have found parenting to be wonderful. Once her son Matthew was almost 10 years old, Judy Clarke of London, England found herself missing the baby stage, wishing she could have a little one again. We spent a lot of time with Matt, assuring him that he was special, because he would always be the oldest. She and her husband, David, also bought a book designed to show children how babies grow, so that Matt could experience the pregnancy in his way, too. But when the baby was born, Matt was the first visitor in the room to see his new sister.