Dependency brings us the essential foundation to develop aggression. Doing and willing is based on attaching. Love fills us and makes it safe for us to take risks and enter into conflict with problems people. Without it, we would be in jeopardy of either total failure or condemnation. Thus, we are able to try, fail and learn.
Consequences are the only negative for the believer.
Loss of love and relationship is never at stake. Another aspect of this is that we need to take in love in order to withstand task and conflict. These two take much out of us. As we often say, you cannot set boundaries in a vacuum. Ask God to help you learn to reach out in times of stress, hurt and struggle with others.