Batterers justify their violence and intimidation in a variety of ways. Some blame their abuse on booze or on their lousy childhood. Others deny it ever happened or minimize the incident to the point where it barely qualifies as abuse at all. Ms. Heaps then pulled out a copy of a police report indicating his wife had a broken nose and two black eyes - the result of a beating with the telephone receiver when she tried to call for help. The fight erupted because dinner wasn't ready when the man arrived home from work.
Experts say many men relentlessly denigrate their partners to justify their abuse.
In any case, the beating is for her own good - to make her shape up and fly right. Like Harold, many men justify their violence by portraying themselves as the victim. Whatever the justification, most batterers truly don't view themselves as the bad guy. The man claims to be cursed with a hair-trigger temper and insists his partner should have known better than to contradict him when he was angry. So I ask them whether they've ever hit their boss.