Familiarity is an anchor when storms of anxiety threaten. With this basic knowledge of habituation, you can help your kids cope in a variety of circumstances. Do this by making as much of the event familiar as creatively as possible long before the event is due to occur. The young or immature child facing surgery, for example, will cope with the hospital stay better if he's visited the hospital, met the doctors and nurses, drawn hospital pictures, bandaged injured dolls and slept in a hospital johnnie long in advance of the actual surgery. Familiarization with the incidentals of the hospital stay can make the entire experience more manageable.
Habituation can help children cope with handicaps.
The challenges of growing up can be huge, all that much more so for a child coping with a handicap. Every child's needs are different, but you can maximize the energy for your children for the physical, emotional and intellectual challenges they face by maximizing familiarity at home. Be careful not to confuse familiarity with leniency. Every child needs clearly defined, individually tailored rules and contingent rewards and punishments. Easing off on this essential caregiving structure out of your own guilt or grief or your own fatigue is a disservice to your child.