Battering is not new. Victims of this crime have been speaking out and naming the abuse perpetrated against them for a long time. Throughout this website, victims are primarily referred to as women and batterers as men. But it is important to recognize that battering also occurs in gay and lesbian relationships, men are victims of domestic violence, and women sometimes batter in heterosexual relationships. Regardless of gender, the pattern of behaviors that a batterer uses to gain control is always the same.
Domestic violence is about control.
They use a pattern of behaviors to intimidate, manipulate and physically violate their partners. Battering is a choice and solely the responsibility of the batterer. But try to remember how we all make decisions to meet our own needs. We identify what we want and all the possible ways we can accomplish our goal. We decide how to reach our goal based on what we believe is OK or what we are willing to do.