Some are really Murphy's that I have purloined for my own. Mr. Murphy, please forgive the plagiarism. The alternative sucks even more. Life is just a bowl of cherries. The problem is remembering to spit out the pits before swallowing.
Life is a progression from one disaster to another.
Life is a boring progression of time, punctuated by periods of sheer terror. Life is a gift from our Creator, which we continue to abuse on a daily basis until He takes it away. Life is a continuum from point A to point B while looking over our shoulders to see how close the Grim Reaper is on our heels. It's the only one you have. If a situation is bad, government assistance will only make it worse.