Well, it's upgrade time. Should take a few hours. Technical Thug Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Rewrites sendmail in assembly.
Hacks kernel to . . .
Administrative Fascist Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem. I've got my boots and backpack. Users want phone list application.