He or she chooses the time and place for the celebration. At the appointed time we come together as a family to share a meal, acknowledge the individual, and practice collective caring. The focus person takes the spotlight and tells about his special moment, communicating feelings, reactions, impressions, or any new goals he or she has set. The rest of the family listens without interrupting the narrative. When the focus person has finished sharing, the rest of us participate by telling what we liked about either the first or the reaction of the person who produced it.
Informal conversation follows until the conclusion of our celebration.
Celebrating firsts is a ritual in our family that didn't just happen. I designed it intentionally to meet a specific desire. I wanted our children to feel a strong sense of belonging and family pride. And because attainment of that spirit is so important, I deliberately work to create what I call the 'our family' feeling. Togetherness and family Pride don't occur accidentally.