Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. Dogs don't borrow your shirts. Dogs never want foot-rubs. Dogs can't talk. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.