Laura Davis and Janis Keyser Laura Davis and Janis Keyser are nationally known authors, lecturers and workshop leaders. Four year olds are busy trying to master their fears, understand mortality, and gain a sense of power in a big, often frightening world. These factors, which naturally converge in four and five year olds, lead to a fascination with guns. The fact that your son is fascinated with guns right now does not mean that he will grow up to be a violent person. Rather, it means he is developmentally on target, trying to understand the power of guns, what makes people get hurt, and what makes them die, why everyone on TV is so obsessed with guns and killing, and why his parents get so upset when he points his finger at someone and pretends to shoot them.
Families have a wide range of responses to gun play.
At one end of the spectrum, kids are equipped with realistic Uzi imitations, and at the other, gun play is banned altogether. When we forbid a form of play, that play often goes underground and we lose an opportunity to help our children figure out answers to their questions. Make it clear to children that any play which intimidates, hurts or frightens another child is unacceptable. Provide props for play that have multiple uses. Giving children open-ended props encourages flexibility and creativity.