Help your child feel special and appreciated. Also, during these special times, focus on things that your child enjoys doing so that he has an opportunity to relax and to display his strengths. For example, if your child is having difficulty with a friend, you can ask her to think about a couple of ways of solving the situation. Also, try role-playing situations with your child to help demonstrate the steps involved in problem solving. Avoid comments that are judgmental and instead, frame them in more positive terms.
Many children do try hard and still have difficulty.
Children are less defensive when the problem is cast as strategies that must be changed rather than as something deficient with their motivation. This approach also reinforces problem-solving skills. Be an empathetic parent. Provide choices for your child. This will also minimize power struggles.