I walked down the sand thinking about where I had envisioned myself being at 31. I thought about how I know myself better now than ever before. And about facing the challenges I know are up ahead. I realized that I will be okay. Not through any one illuminated fact, just because the sun was out and the sea was tumbling beside me.
Life just keeps moving on, seasons keep changing.
So do I. This is not what I had planned, but I can adapt. More than the relief of that revelation was the shock at discovering that I had lost that. The knowledge that I would do more than survive, but that I would still experience life as joy and light and warmth. The sun always returns. Today, looking out my window I see the bright green disk of nasturtium leaves.