This is how you rule her. This is the great pattern for our marriages. God's love is His almighty arms embracing, binding, holding us to Himself through His Holy Son Jesus. Between a man and woman there is no real love if they do not love in Christ. This is the love of God's Son for you.
Love is selfless.
This points out the difference between love and lust. But this also points out the duty of husbands. This doesn't mean that a young man may marry a spiritually unlovely woman. The love of Christ for the church is a tender, gentle love. Sometimes husbands complain about unfeminine wives.