Our minds are instinctively programmed to do the same thing, if we allow them to do so. To override this healthy instinct causes us needless damage while doing nothing to satisfy the desire for justice and satisfaction. The High Holidays give us the opportunity to seek forgiveness and grant it to others. If the grievance is important enough and the opportunity presents itself, make the effort to seek reconciliation and peace. If it is impossible to approach the offending party, or if it is not worth the effort, erase the pain from your heart and mind, and move on.
Life is too precious and too brief to darken it with harsh memories and useless anger.