Often a child will find the chapel service more emotionally draining than the following graveside service. Nothing that happens at the cemetery is beyond a child's comprehension, if it is properly explained beforehand. What the child who is sent home might imagine is generally more difficult than what he or she would have seen. One of my children seems totally unaffected by a death in the family. My other child is having great difficulty adjusting.
Extreme situations can produce extreme and often unpredictable reactions.
Therefore, making sure that your children know you are there for them at such times is essential. One way of helping your children express themselves is to set aside time for them to discuss their feelings about death with you. The amount of time you allocate is not as important as your setting aside a designated time in which your children can express their perceptions and feelings. Be prepared for some very tender and meaningful discussions. As a result, you and your children will establish an open line of communication that can have a positive effect on all aspects of your relationship.