Often partners in a blended family complain about how their mate spoils or indulges the children. Yet, the parent feels their children have been through a lot and need extra special care at times. Paying attention to the needs of the children is the key. Indulging children does not help them develop any of the above. Indulging children helps them develop a victim mentality and manipulation skills.
Children do go through a lot when they lose a parent, either through death or divorce.
However, this is a great opportunity for them to learn to grieve and then to get on with their lives. They will often pick up the attitudes of their remaining parent. You poor child. No, to the first question. Yes, to the next two questions.