No easy task. If a divorce and remarriage occurred, the tone of the relationship between the divorced parties impacts greatly on the acceptance of the stepgrandparent into the system. When this happens grandchildren can become pawns in the battle. For example, if the mother dies, and the father remarries, it may take a long time for the child to accept the stepmother walking in the mother's shoes. In other words, stepgrandparents should try to be as selfless as possible.
Emotional maturity is required.
Stepgrandparents shouldn't try to rush things. They are well advised to wait in the family wings before entering a child's life. Many stepgrandchildren I have personally interviewed had to deal with profound psychological issues such as divided loyalties, trying to comprehend the circumstances leading to the remarriage of the child's custodial parent, working through the dissolution of the parent's marriage, and trying to make sense of a new family configuration. This is a tall order, and the last thing a child needs is to be expected to have an instant relationship with stepgrandparents. Consequently, the watchwords for successful stepgrandparenting are patience, support, loving, caring and being non-competitive .