Children also need their parents to understand and acknowledge their feelings about the divorce. Children show their reactions to divorce in many different ways. Anger is the most common emotion, but children also may experience confusion, sadness or relief. It's important to understand your children's needs when working out custody arrangements, she notes. Custody arrangements are sometimes built more on what seems fair to parents rather than what's best for the kids.
Joint custody can be very hard for kids where they have two homes and never feel quite settled.
Finally, says Gold-Steinberg, adults themselves need a lot of refueling in order not to get burned out from the stresses of single parenthood. The University Center for the Child and the Family offers a number of mental health services including a group for children and parents coping with divorce. For more information, call 764-9466. Programs on elder-care will include housing options, community resources, older adults and substance abuse, legal and financial issues, and dealing with depression, loss and grief. For a complete schedule, call 998-6133.