And for the female alumni, they get the treat of ogling the guys in their tight football pants. Of course, they also have to put up with a certain amount of bulbous guts, but after settling down with an armchair quarterback, they're probably used to that by now. Even if we can't make it to the game though, watching on TV validates our sense of worth by allowing us to second guess every mistake made by coaches, with the certainty that we would have made the right call in their position. And there'd be no Bud Bowl, though that maybe wouldn't be such a bad thing. But, all the funniest ads are football related, even if the product has nothing to do with the sport - The Ref without a coin to flip on the Snickers ad being a perfect example.
Football also gives that portion of our brains that computes stats something to do.
I mean face it, it's just not the same calculating what percentage we can save on the grocery bill using double coupons and our store discount card. Unless one day your grocery store stages the supermarket spree of death where you have to dash through the aisles and fight off other customers to win great prizes. But, if Kroger's response to that suggestion is any indication, I don't think we'll be seeing that any time soon. Goodbye pig roast, hello fruitcake. And finally, football gives justification to hate your bitter rival.