The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than stopping to ask for directions.
Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever bought a Barry Manilow album. Dogs agree that you sometimes have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never criticize. Dogs would rather have hamburger than lobster for dinner.