MAY 13 Today a bunch of people got up and went to their stupid jobs, where they performed soul-crushing menial labor surrounded by people they loathe. But the festivities took a dramatic turn when a beat-up blue truck was spied in the back parking lot. Suddenly an ambulance arrived, and the woman from the truck was lifted onto a gurney moments before she gave birth to a baby boy. Meanwhile, residents of Salt Lake City have been receiving bundles of anything but joy. Today the Associated Press reported that gobs of thick, raw sewage have fallen from the sky a dozen times since April 9, splattering homes and confounding authorities in America's favorite Mormon stomping ground.
Love can be so cruel.
You've got them, I want them.