Abuse is a sign that the abuser has problems and needs help. The only way to defend yourself if someone insults you is to threaten to beat them up. You can stand up for your rights by being assertive and by being strong enough not to give in to teasing or other forms of insults. You don't have to take away someone else's rights to keep your own. Abuse in teen relationships is not that common.
Guys yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners.
If you think you are in an abusive relationship, please talk to a trusted adult and get help. You deserve to be treated with respect. Powerless to stop the situation. That it must be your fault. Like you want to change your life to avoid the harasser.