Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine beer. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. Beer is never late. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Hangovers go away.
Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.