By now I was seriously captivated. The idea that my fascination with sex was more than just an obsessive urge to get laid, that my frustrations with monogamy and with sexual limitation in general came from sensing that sex held the possibility for some kind of larger self-discovery, resonated in me like a church bell. It was a different kind of sex, even, from the countercultural sexual liberation that had the whole country tied in a huge sociological, political, and generational knot in 1976. Positions are irrelevant. Every cell of the body is involved then.
Every cell becomes alive because very cell is a sex cell.
In it you are not coming to the peak of excitement, but to the very deepest valley of relaxation. All my life, I had felt like a sexual oddball. Whether I was talking with other men, or with women, I felt vaguely like a creature from another planet. Of course I thought this meant there was something wrong with me. At the very least, I was careful to keep my feelings about sex being a place to explore something that went well beyond sex itself pretty much to myself.