Despite retention's potential stigma, to be overplaced puts the child in a very difficult situation But the fault should be attributed to placement, not to the child. The correction for overplacement is to allow a child to take two years in one grade to achieve a correct grade placement. The risk of letting a child remain in a frustrating, negative and unsuccessful educational experience can outweigh valid concerns of potential damage to self-esteem, being teased or labeled. For a child to feel good about remaining in a grade, say experts, the decision must have the whole-hearted agreement of the parents, teacher and principal. When talking with your child about being held back, make it clear that you, the parents, made a mistake, unknowingly allowing your child to be placed in the wrong grade for which he was not ready.
Educators say that a big part of the decision to repeat is the child's reaction.
While some may have a sense of relief if they have been struggling, others will feel hurt, which is hard on the child's self-image. What really matters is how the situation is communicated at home. Otherwise, repeating could be a blow to the child's self-esteem. Educators say that early on is the best time to 're-experience' a grade. Retention in kindergarten or first grade is preferable to later grades when children become more socially aware.