You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on. If you cannot convince them, confuse them. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane. Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
Life is a terminal disease.
Your lucky color has faded. Don't drink and park - accidents cause people. Reality is a figment of your imagination. Life is just one of those things. Nothing is illegal until you get caught.