I find that the difficulty for people that have been systematically manipulated for years is that they know something in the relationship is wrong, but they don't always know what. Often the first part of ministry has to be to expose the mechanisms that are being used to manipulate. Only when it is clear what the sin is, and that it is sin, can that sin be forgiven. In dealing with this it is important to remember three things, Forgiveness is a choice Forgiveness is a process. Forgiveness is not a whitewash or denial.
Forgiveness is a choice.
We may find it almost impossible to forgive if we have been devastated by what has been done to us. The first step is to chose the perspective from which we want to look at things. If we look at it from the perspective of self and our pain we won't be able to start into the process of forgiveness. If we look from the perspective of the parable, and from the perspective of what it cost Jesus to win our freedom and deliverance things start to change. James Ryle writes about how one minister deceived him in a dreadful way.