To family, friends, and even their children, this may not appear to be a good reason to divorce. Yet for the person, the prospect of living forty more years with a partner in a deadened relationship seems untenable. When one partner has a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, the other partner may decide to divorce so that he or she can build a life with more stability. In these situations the healthy spouse may feel guilty deserting a mentally ill person, and the children might even blame that spouse for being unfaithful. It may, however, be the only step possible to create an acceptable environment for the healthy spouse and the couple's children.
Children can understand to some degree all of the above reasons for their parents' divorce.
What is most important is that the reasons be presented to each child individually and geared to the child's age and maturity. Explanations should be done in an honest manner yet without giving the child details he or she neither requests nor can handle. This takes some initiative and skill on the part of the parent. If both you and your former spouse basically see the reasons for the divorce in the same way, your children will be receiving similar messages from each of you about the reasons for the divorce. If you each see the deterioration process of your marriage very differently your child will, of course, be receiving conflicting messages.