For most of them, this learning process takes almost two years. Two years may seem like a long time for a foster child to learn what most children come by naturally. Living in a family setting can be more difficult for these children than living in an institutional setting. In an institution, there is no expectation to bond with any parental figures, and there is no family life to remind the children of the life they lost with their own family. When a foster child lives with a foster family, there is a mother, a father and the birth children of the foster parents.
Foster children are often intensely jealous of the birth children in the home.
They want so much to have the life that those children have. There is a painful daily reminder of the mother that they left behind, or the father they never knew. They wish so much that these parents were their own. These emotions become even more intense and painful on holidays. The children we care for have had this experience many times.