Gayle Peterson Gayle Peterson, MSSW, PhD is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development. Your decision of how you want to handle this is a family affair to be decided by you and your partner. Your own personal histories, philosophies and knowledge of your community and your daughter, may be factors to weigh and consider. However, in the end, always keep in mind that your daughter should be proud of her origins and her family. Although she may face some adversity, I believe that it is in your daughter's best interests to accept herself and allow others to accept her for who she is and where she comes from.
Ignorance breeds intolerance and exposure nurtures education.
As with interracial children, or other families that may lie outside the norm in our society, prejudice is best addressed by exposure to those whom we might feel are different, and therefore to be feared. Hiding the facts may increase negative repercussions. It will be assumed that she comes from a heterosexual family. When it becomes clear that she has two moms, instead of a dad and mom, it may be more difficult for your daughter over time. She may also pick up the message that you are hiding your situation from others, therefore leaving her with an unnamed shame.