Thanks very much for your time. Deloris Dear Deloris, I certainly feel empathy for your situation that happens to be quite common among straight and gay married folks alike. In the past, I had sex without love, and now I have love without sex. We are raised romantic junkies who are sexually repressed and then doomed to be in monogamous relationships where day to day living is the exact opposite of the romantic ideal. When I discovered that many of my gay male friends separated love from sex, I realized how much sense it made.
Erotic love is about loving sex.
Romantic love is about loving love and hoping sex will remain passionate, but rarely does. Reality can be a bummer for us romantics. You have a wonderful friendship with a long list of things you do enjoy together. But redefining your relationship is obviously necessary. Since your partner isn't interested in sex, you have every right to continue happily masturbating and having the occasional fling.