As Charles Siebert's essay points out, it seems men often draw closer to their fathers only in times of tragedy or severe need. The overwhelming feeling I have for men now is compassion. I think it's true that it often takes tragedy or desperation to push men closer to the ones they care about, whether it's their father or partner.
Intimacy terrifies most men because in a man's mind, to be intimate is to reveal weakness.
So begin thinking of your man in a new way. In my experience, the dance of intimacy starts with him observing me before I'm even aware of his presence. At this point I start bringing food towards him but even though he's desperate, he runs away. Each day as he watches, and begins to figure I'm probably not going to harm him, he lets down his guard a little more and starts slowly walking towards me. Very soon after this, I start to hold the kitchen door open and after a few days of deliberation, the moment comes when he crosses the threshold and chooses to adopt me.