I return to group only when I feel guilty that I may have hurt Clara's feelings. Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder characterized by cycling episodes of depression, hypomania, and depression. Often, we cycle seamlessly through the episodes. Depression flows into hypomania. Hypomania flows into mania.
Mania flows into depression.
Stress, transitions, and even season changes often trigger episodes. Clara strains to pull herself out from behind the steering wheel of her average-size car. She makes her way to hug me before she even shuts the car door. I squint at the sun, and I smile at Clara. I have not seen Clara since the last day of therapy, and I feel cautious around her, unsure of who she is outside of group.