It has cost me my military career, caused strain on my marriage, and my health. I have had a problem with suicide since becoming sick. It seems that my only way of dealing with a stressful problem is trying to commit suicide. I have been hospitalized 5 times because of it.
Every day is a struggle.
I only hope that my calls for help do not catch up with me. Firstly, I am glad that you want to live. Wanting to live in and of itself can help somewhat. Even when you feel suicidal it is important not to lose sight of the fact that you, indeed, do want to live. I hope that you are dealing with this in therapy.