It will not be possible to mend your marriage while you're sleeping with someone else and then lying to your husband about it. Your emotions and attention will be too divided between both of them. You cannot give yourself fully to either while you're seeing both. If the relationship you want to work on and save is with your husband, then you'll need to end the affair, and you and your husband will probably need to see a couples' counselor. I advise this for you because it sounds as if there might be marital issues that have never been adequately resolved.
Affairs are often an indicator of unresolved problems.
So, if you want to try to get the sexual attraction to your husband back again, you'll have to deal with the issues that made it disappear in the first place. Q. My wife and I are having an argument about this and we would like an expert opinion. It depends on what the person is a perfectionistic about. Perfectionists are not trying to be perfect in every area of their lives. So a man who's extremely careful about getting his figures exact on his reports may have a desk that looks like a bomb has gone off.