Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.