For children struck frequently, the anticipation of intense pain becomes part of the punishment itself. The anxiety this creates cannot be easily overcome. Recent brain research indicates that high levels of stress or anxiety can actually change the wiring of the brain and interfere with learning, thinking and later relationships. This damaging anxiety can also be caused by watching a parent strike another child or by viewing violence on television. Understanding a child s anger at being hit is central to understanding the impact of spanking.
Anger is a child s best, and sometimes only, defense.
It comes from a powerful and healthy sense of self that is being violated and abused by physical blows or hurtful words. Often, a child will respond with hatred and a powerful desire for revenge. These painful memories are permanently stored in the brain and influence us throughout our lives. When these memories are ignored or forgotten, they are more dangerous than when they are felt and acknowledged. Depression is often a delayed response to the suppression of childhood anger that is usually the result of being physically or verbally hurt by adults whom the child loves and on whom the child depends for nurturance and life itself.