For the man who requested experience and advice, I recommend prayer as one route to an answer. Pray for insight about how to resolve this dilemma, and follow the answers you receive. This suggestion might sound facetious, but I am quite earnest. Keep a private book in which you write your questions, partial answers, dead ends, hunches and feelings. Imagine the smallest changes you could make to solve the apparent problems.
Large changes carry the threat of massive dislocation.
Small changes sometimes alleviate pressure without creating as many new problems. May the Holy One put the answers you seek in a place where you will soon find them. As mentioned in a letter to Julia, I find it difficult to believe that the author of that quote ever intended to refer to the average non-Orthodox Jew. One need only drop in on soc.culture.jewish to hear from a few such people. I disagree as strongly with that perception of the Orthodox, as I would with those who indeed do see liberals in that way.