The soldering iron of justice. Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink. Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion.
The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. I reached out my hand, but then he ran away.