In order to grow in love, we must realize our interdependence, the awareness of our healthy need for one another. Embracing our interdependence brings more love into all of our relationships. An important aspect of the journey of relationship involves first the recognition of our codependence, or our mutual addictions, and then our acceptance of it. For each of us to accept our codependence is to accept a part of our humanity, rather than to judge it, make it wrong or push it away, which keeps it buried and unconscious. The acceptance of our codependence humbles us, and can lead to our awareness of healthy dependence, which we refer to as interdependence.
Interdependence implies taking responsibility for our feelings, desires and actions.
When we don't take responsibility for ourselves, a codependent interaction is the result. For example, the other day I got upset at Joyce because I couldn't find my slippers and was sure she had put them away. When there is a feeling of joy or peace mixed in with our feeling of need for another, we are touching upon interdependence and healing our codependence. Another example of codependence, and the unskillful communication of personal need, is the mother who complains to her grown children that they don't telephone her enough. Her complaining is an unconscious cover-up for her need for their love and attention.