However, this does not mean that lengthy separations are not potentially damaging to the child. The securely attached child, breastfed or not, needs to work up to longer separations gradually. The court, as well as the parents, must look at the child's developmental needs, and what separations the child is accustomed to. Some people assume that if the breastfeeding relationship needs to be protected, and the primary bond with the mother is not to be disrupted, then the father's attachment must be of secondary importance. This is not true.
Every child has a right to a loving, responsive bond with both parents.
The father's bond with the child is just as important as the mother's. However, it should rarely, if ever, be necessary to interfere with the child's attachment to the mother in order for the father's relationship to be promoted and encouraged. In the ideal relationship, the bond with the father and siblings flows out of the strong bond with the mother. But in any case, the child should not be torn from one parent, or forced to choose. The child should feel that both parents will protect and encourage the other parent's relationship with the child, and both will help the child to feel safe.