A label might reflect the stronger characteristics about each child. A label is how we compare our children to one another. Now, take a moment and gaze into the past, to the time right after your second child was born. You probably scratched your head in amazement. The explanation is simple.
Individuality is the way a child receives attention, the way a child survives.
We must never forget that children do not distinguish negative attention from positive attention. The truth is, our children are different from one another, and for reasons we won't get into right here, choose to push different buttons in us. You might recognize that one child is more like you, the same gender as you, or holds the same place in the family as you. You may like it, understand and sympathize with it, or you may not. I am aware that it's not easy for us to search beyond labels.