Perhaps we can pray for them that God will open their eyes to see us, to really see us, as God's own children. Perhaps we can pray for them that God will open their hearts to remember who they themselves are, so that they can release the shame and fear and rage that drives them. Perhaps we can pray that they will come to know themselves as God knows them, to see themselves as God sees them, as his very own, dearly loved children. It isn't possible. Not for us on our own.
Forgiveness is nothing less than a miracle.
It is a gift from God. We need God to teach us forgiveness. We need God to let us see ourselves and others through his eyes of love. The only way we can forgive is with God's help. The capacity to see ourselves and our offender as loved by God is a gift we can ask for, we can seek and we can stay open to.