Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Insanity is hereditary.
You get it from your kids. When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes. Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.