And so the partners in marriage must help each other in acquiring a virtuous life. Virtue, therefore, and not passion should be the foundation of marital love. For passion waxes and wanes and can vanish with familiarity, and the passions then lead to boredom, conflict, and even infidelity. No, love must be based on more than infatuation. It must be the active desire to seek the good of the beloved, and the highest good is salvation.
Love is a choice.
In the face of the many distractions of our earthly life, and in the face of the real or perceived shortcomings of our spouse, we must keep our eye on what it was that brought us together in the first place, that quality beyond mere physical beauty, something in the depth of the soul that answered the call of our own soul. We chose this person to spend the rest of our life with, and we commit ourselves to this purpose of our own free and unconstrained will. We make the choice to love our spouse, or not, every day of our life after the wedding. We are daily presented with opportunities to please our beloved in many and sundry small things and small acts of kindness. And this should be a joy to us, to give up our selfishness, to come out of ourselves, and to live for another.