The staff at hotels and restaurants immediately detect from my shitty Polish that I am not in fact Polish. So they speak to me in German. This forces me to say, in ever shittier German, that I am not German. People are nice. Women are beautiful.
Food is great.
Everything is cheap. Weather is lovely in summer, mushrooms are free whether they kill you or not, and the beer is twice as strong and a fifth as expensive. I strongly recommend we invade.