No job is too small to botch. Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze. The joy of contemplating another's misfortunes is the purest of joy. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. The diminer the light, the greater the scandal.
Love makes the world go round, but it's the lack of money that keeps it flat.
If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving. Work is the crab grass of life, but money is the water that keeps it green. Next to the dog, the wastebasket is man's best friend. I believe I'll have another drink. The pen is mightier than the pencil.