We wish we were open to one another and more often felt that internal sense of freedom to just be ourselves with others and not play games. Trust makes it possible to get along without judging one another, without needing to have everything in writing, without having to play ogre, moralist, policeman or bureaucrat. When we don't trust one another we are less honest, less willing to work together, we avoid deep and meaningful communications of any kind and protect ourselves instead. Our fear drives us to enforce rules, construct norms and contracts and tie each other down. We resort to withholding, withdrawal, or persuasion.
Fear stops the flow and arouses the defenses.
Fear creates the danger. We over perceive risk, trigger defensiveness in others and produce just the outcomes we expected to find. We expect the worst and replicate it for ourselves and others. We narrow our focus and get all stressed out. Thinking, problem-solving, and action become unclear, random, jerky, irrelevant.