A dog's parents never visit. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. Dogs like beer. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.