First, before I describe a few programs that focus on building playful relationships with autistic children, I want to report a number of findings that concern me deeply about popular perceptions of these children. The pessimism that most parents hear and read concerning autism is unfortunate, harmful, and often downright mistaken. We regularly see many children with some autistic features who can come into our social world if we join their world first. The future for autistic children can be quite optimistic if we stop rejecting and controlling them and join them as partners in their worlds. Much of what many people try to do with these children are developmentally mismatched attempts to force the child in adult and academic worlds too soon, with out preparing the children to be social and communicative first.
Autism is primarily a problem and mismatch in relationships between the children and others.
The autistic child and her partners are in vastly different worlds with distinct perceptions, motivations, sensitivities and speeds. Not only is there too little hope for autistic children, there is much too little respect for and inclusion of parents in helping the child develop. This is an extremely dangerous belief because many parents virtually give away their child to professionals and avoid building just the intimate social relationships that only they can do. I now firmly believe that what autistic children need much more than school and therapies is the education of their parents in what the child needs and what they can do. The problem often seems to be too much, too soon, and too fast.