Penis worship is alive and well in the gay men's community as well it should be. A smart heterosexual male, however, does NOT need the macho trappings of the things you asked about. In the inner circle of sophisticated lovers, women love a man with a slow hand, one who knows how to do gentle clit stimulation with moistened fingers or a wet tongue. They love a sweet guy who knows how to penetrate a pussy slowly and gently, adding plenty of lube, always taking his time. They love a someone who is considerate, who encourages self stimulation of the clitoris or stimulation with a vibrator while they're fucking.
Liberated masturbation is the foundation for mutually orgasmic partnersex.
If you and your girlfriend want to become world-class lovers, start by sharing masturbation and learning how each of you likes to be touched. Talk, talk, talk about what turns you both on, share some fantasies, and try out a few sex toys. In other words, get you head out of your shorts and spend some quality time reading my website to learn more about female sexuality. Then have your girlfriend contact me with her feedback on how well you do.