When you're up to your waist in alligators, it is hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp. By the time a man can read a woman like a book, he is too old to collect a library. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of. It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.
When all else fails, read the instructions. One and one does not necessarily make 11. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.