Your grace to accept the offending person comes from your new ability to see them from God's perspective. Our natural man prompts us to be pious and self-righteous. Those are accusing words that will perpetuate the problem. Admitting ten percent of the problem is not being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is accurately saying how you've offended them.
Genuine vulnerability plants a seed of truth and love in their heart.
The little poplar seed seemed hopelessly entombed in the stone vault. The morning dew and the warm rays of the sun conspired together to cause the seed to sprout. Vulnerability releases truth and love in the most obstinate hearts. She may not admit it to you, but she's admitted it to herself. The Holy Spirit gives you the word when you spend time in God's presence crying out to God for wholeness in the relationship.