Some people say that they prefer to live with narcissists, to cater to their needs and to succumb to their whims because this is the way they have been conditioned. It is only with narcissists that they feel alive, stimulated and excited. The world glows in Technicolor in the presence of a narcissist and decays to sepia colours in his absence. Narcissists and Abandonment Narcissists are terrified of being abandoned exactly as codependents and Borderlines are. BUT Their solution is different.
Borderlines are emotionally labile and react disastrously to the faintest hint of being abandoned.
They MAKE SURE that they are abandoned. The narcissist has a very low threshold of tolerance to uncertainty and inconvenience, emotional or material. They cannot delay gratification OR impending doom. They must have it all NOW, good or bad. By bringing the feared abandonment about, the narcissist can lie to himself persuasively.