Older, school-age children may fear taunts from classmates. Teenagers, who do not want to appear different from peers and whose own sexuality is emerging, have the hardest time accepting the news. Even children who were told when they were young have to process the information all over again when they become adolescents. Some wonder if they might be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Others wonder if they, too, might marry someone who will turn out to be gay.
Adult children tend to make moral judgments, and some feel angry at the impact on their mother.
No matter at what age children are told, the telling is only the first step. It helps when parents have factual information about homosexuality and resources available as they ask further questions in keeping with their age and stage of development. The children's first reactions, whether explosive or quiet, generally change over time. Youngsters who are angry at first, eventually figure out that the coming out did not change their father. Others take the news quietly and then leave the room to cry in their own rooms.