The need to control another person is a classic symptom of codependency. Codependency grows out of insecurity. All insecurities are externally oriented. The codependent sees stimuli through the lens of expectation. The fear of unfulfilled expectations gives rise to internal conflict.
Happiness is a state of being.
It exists moment to moment in the eternal now. In other words, when we have what we desire, we experience joy. Furthermore, when what we experience is unconditional, as opposed to contractual, then we experience only joy. Insecurity fuels fear, and fear is a very creative force. What we fear most is therefore very often what we create as our experience.