A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs are excited by rough play. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs love red meat. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. Anyone can get a good-looking dog. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs don't shop.