Stop them from controlling you. They can possess you unless you shut them out. Your future is unknown. If you die, you won't be around to experience the rewards, Christmas, food, marriage, career, sports, satisfactions of sex, etc. Life is hard, but it can be satisfying.
Life comes one day at a time and needs to be faced one day at a time.
And to believe it, is to believe a lie. Ride it out, take what comes. We all live life in the same manner one day at a time and one day after another, until we learn to do this thing called life. If it's too hard to be honest with a trusted person about your thoughts or killing yourself, at least drop a lot of hints. Think about attending your own funeral.