Some of them or family members had been raped. They wanted healing of their hatred and rage because they saw the same feelings being expressed by their children. They came to the realization that this pattern of feelings would only lead to a continuation of the vicious cycle of violence, with death the end result for many of their children. They wanted life for their children. These women were expressing the core and central value of the African world-view which is life and the continuation of life.
Life is lived in community and in relationships.
In contrast, many Westerners think we choose our relationships. In other words, for Africans the only choice one has is how one lives out these relationships. Africans are very realistic in that they know there will always be serious differences, conflict, sinful and abusive behavior that can break relationships and cause division, anger, fear and uncertainty. Thus historically, and even today, the elders have spent a lot of time restoring broken relationships. Reconciliation aims at overcoming separateness or healing brokenness.