Fifty years ago, a grandchild was expected to show outward respect and courtesy to a grandparent, with little regard to the way the grandparent treated the child, and with little regard for the child's true inner feelings. Respect and courtesy are still highly valued today. The difference is that respect is now seen to be a two-way street, and the child's feelings are to be taken into account along with the feelings of the older members of the family. There is good news and bad news here for grandparents. The bad news is that a grandparent can no longer expect to be shown courtesy and respect simply by virtue of the fact that he resides on that particular branch of the family tree, without some effort on his part to respect the child, to earn the child s respect, and to look at things from her point of view.
Freedom is always contagious.
Children may have more freedom today than grandparents had as children, but the consolation for them is substantial. Grandparents of today are free to have real interactions with real persons, rather than formal, meaningless role-playing with a frightened child.