Your job is to love yourself and love others, in that order. Wake up and see what a terribly wicked spell you placed on yourself in order to avoid being alone. Yes, wake up. You moved in with her under a threat. Unpack that box of thoughts.
Liberation is surely at the bottom.
I'm 49 years old and I've always related better to animals than to people. Neither I nor my family and friends have the ability or talent to love others. It's a deficiency that I've never overcome. I try, but it doesn't last. Animal companions rarely inflict lesions on our egos.