It's safer to ask how your wife is doing than to ask how you feel. And as a man, you have a lot of thoughts and feelings now. You may have times of real panic and worry about your family. You may have lost the confidence of being the Daddy who makes things right. This can be one of the toughest times in your life, and its important to take care of yourself and the hurt you're feeling.
Every man is touched by tragedy at some time.
You may find you need to be strong and take control. You may feel like you're talking care of everyone else, making all the arrangements and doing all the work. THis can be especially true as you make funeral arrangements and greet family and friends. After the funeral, though, people are likely to expect you to act as if nothing happened. You may feel distant from people.