When our nervous system gets overloaded we want to withdraw from the conflict. Stay connected by using active listening and problem solving. If you do get overloaded, rather than avoiding the topic and each other, take a formal time-out promising to resume discussion at a specified time. Most people would agree that communication is one of the most essential elements in a vital relationship. Lack of good communication is the most common reason couples seek couples counseling.
Good communication involves both expressing and understanding ideas.
While expressing yourself clearly is important, feeling understood is critical to the connection in the relationship. Spouses feel closer and more connected to each other when they take time to really listen to each other. Ask the speaker to give you the information in small chunks. Wait for the speaker to finish before responding. Use summarizing statements to rephrase the message you heard from your partner.