I really did. I was happy to see her when she came by. But she longed for me more than I have ever longed for anything. When she called yesterday, she broke down completely. I thought it was the least I could do, but now I think that she is compromised.
Japanese people are very private.
It scares me how much I must have embarrassed her. I look back on the spring and the summer and yesterday's call, and I see that, one by one, I broke down every single one of her strengths, everything she had equipped herself with to live in a Japanese way. I was so careful for a year and a half. I thought, well, she's twenty-seven, and she lives in this sophisticated city, Osaka. But mostly I was lonely.