He is talking about a decision. It is a decision to let go of our own agendas. It is a decision to stay faithful, even in the face of pain. It is a decision to give of ourselves, even when we don't feel like it. This is the kind of love Jesus had for us, and it's the kind of love He commands us to have for one another.
Love comes in many forms.
We need to be touched. That is one of our most basic human needs. Unfortunately, many of we adults share words of anger or demands. But love is affection, and encouragement. It is a supportive, caring word.