Every man, woman, and child has had to and will have to make and live with their choice between conditional love and unconditional love. Yet there is no law that says we cannot change our mind. Because we made a choice many years ago is no reason that we must continue dogmatically in that choice, especially when the light of experience has shown it to be non-beneficial to ourselves, our family, and our friends. When we choose unconditional love, we choose to weed the garden of our personality until we have a beautiful, creative, and productive garden. Henry David Thoreau can help us here.
All self serving ideals and attitudes such as conditional love lead to pain.
The history of man has, does, and will consist of deeds that manifest from our choice between conditional love and unconditional love. We are confronted with many choices each hour of our life. We can choose to respond from old habits or new considered ideals. Choose we must, but how we choose is entirely up to the ideals and attitudes that we select to live by right now.