It requires manners. A potential mate who drinks liquor will always be chosen over the beer-swilling dullard or the snobbish wine drinker. And with hard liquor, the conversations are snappier, the bartenders more respectful, and whatever sadness one is trying to forget blurs more easily into a wistful hope for the future. Imbibing booze denotes a maturity that's been hard-won. Here's a person who's put away the childish toys of youth and is now an adult.
Hard liquor is a just reward for a hard life.
Go drink a wine cooler, you big baby. You know who you are. Or maybe before.