Children from loving, caring homes where they feel secure seem to weather the storm best. The first stage is frequently marked by a combination of numbness, shock and denial. After the shock passes, people may go through phases of intense emotion. Children may feel anger at the unfairness of the death. What's important is not to block grief.
Experts advise people to allow themselves to feel numb, sad, angry or depressed.
Children who lose a family member or friend need extra understanding, support, and reassurance. Grief groups for children exist but may be hard to find. For young children, individual counseling may be more appropriate. In the past 50 years or so, we have all been made more aware of the pain and distress experienced by grieving youngsters. A tragic but clear example is the tremendous outpouring of grief shown by young people who either witnessed or learned of the tragic violence at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo., and in several other communities where similar situations occurred across the nation.