The answer is not all that complex. We are not different from the rest of society. It wasn't that long ago that we acknowledged that we had the same kinds of substance abuse problems as the world at large. In both cases, with open hearts and minds. No accusations of the victims having asked for the abuse, the addict having carefully plotted their addictions.
Domestic violence is different and far removed from other forms of abuse.
A victim of domestic violence has to face the abuse as well as the reality that they chose their partner. What a relief. It doesn't remove the feeling of failure in having made what now appears to have been a poor choice. Worse still is that when a victim points at an abuser from inside the community, they are risking harming the community as a whole. Nice witches don't beat each other.