You cannot serve a preeminent being and do your own will. That is a total contradiction of terms. To serve preeminence is to do their will, only one can decide, only one can rule or make the rules. The other is fixed to follow. That's why you can't allow flesh to leap into the romance, it is always to satisfy self and seeks to insert control of its own destiny.
Flesh can condemn a romance.
Because it is not subject to preeminence, it does not put God first. It is impossible to love God without putting him first in your life. It is not possible to love and be selfish at the same time. That is contradiction, love is by nature out-going concern, selfishness is inward, they pull against each other, they don't sit on the same shelf. Jesus Christ is the perfect connection between man and woman, don't let flesh fill the space.