What is wild to me is that I had to experience so many far out, unconventional, countercultural paths, to discover what Ellen, my Jewish mom, knew all along. Her nagging had wisdom in it. More than I suspected. The gift of parenting is often in those rare moments in-between all the busy stuff. Most men were not trained to prioritize their active involvement in their family.
Life skills training for boys is dismal where it involves caring for themselves or others.
Productivity is more important than sensitivity. Boys are rewarded for paying attention to facts and numbers, not themselves, not others. For men to unlearn and retrain themselves, going against what they've been taught about who men are and what men do, is not easy. What men often need is the equivalent of sensitivity training. Many men need to revisit what they were told is unimportant and learn to trust their intuition.