A dog's parents never visit. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Anyone can get a good looking dog. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs love it when your friends come over. Dogs don't cry. You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.