The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs are excited by rough play. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs love red meat. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit.