I've run out of sick days, so I am calling in dead. If you're happy and you know it see a shrink. Sometimes I wish life had subtitles. Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship. If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Grow your own dope, plant a man. If money could talk, it would say goodbye. My wife's other car is a broom. Honk if you hate noise pollution. A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without holding on.