Perfectionistic, she'll be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Rebellious, she'll be diagnosed as having an Oppositional and Defiant Disorder. Isolated and withdrawn, she'll be diagnosed as having Dysthymia, Major Depression or Bipolar Disorder. And her peer group won't help. As an outsider on the playground, stigmatized in the classroom, awkward in her peer group, she'll be teased and her shame will show through.
Kids sense shame the way sharks smell blood.
They move in for the kill quickly, implicitly targeting the real source of a child's pain better than most adults, but only making it worse. Open eyes, open minds. Raised in acceptance, without secrets, taught to take pride in her whole self, the same child faces far less pain. In the course of encouraging acceptance and healthy development, as with all else in parenting, we must follow each child's lead. Age and maturity, intellect and circumstance will prepare your child for different degrees of understanding at different times.