He told me that he felt criticized for everything he did. As I had suspected, his father's actions and verbal patterns fit the criteria for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Once we knew the messages he had been given about himself throughout childhood, Jerry and I were able to construct a plan to help him begin learning to like himself better than he had ever done before. Although rare, NPD occurs in some individuals who encounter a highly disorienting experience during the first three years of life. This experience could include loss of a parent or other traumatic life events.
Emotional development stops at the point of the trauma, while the mind and body continue to grow.
People with NPD, along with other traits, are only minimally capable of seeing any point of view beyond their own. This particular trait in a parent can be devastating to a child. They may spend their energy on making other people feel loved and valued, forgetting to take care of their own emotional needs. Often, they are extremely self-critical, seeing themselves as much less lovable and capable than they really are. If you know someone who may have been wounded in this way, here are some tips that could help them begin to heal.