Due to increasing product liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all bottles. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable carpet burns on the forehead.
Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you. The wife sighs and gets him a beer.