You adapt your behaviour to what she says she wants You have tried to make agreements or set boundaries. Give yourself credit for everything you have tried. Your belief in your own worth and your sense of having rights and choices becomes eroded by constant abuse. You have a right to be safe. You deserve to be treated with respect.
Abuse is unacceptable.
We all experience stress, trauma, anger, and fear but a violent lesbian chooses to use violence to control and get her own way. She uses violence deliberately to weaken your choices to act. Domestic violence is a crime. If you feel scared and unsafe in her presence, then something is wrong. You are the best judge of how safe you are.