The cases above illustrate that symptoms can be the signs of loss whether is is the acting-out teenager, the depressed birthmother, or the adoptee who can t speak for himself. Be alert to possible denial in adoption triad clients. Much like an alcoholic who doesn t see his own drinking problem or an anorexic who feels fat, an adoptee may state that being adopted is not an issue for them. A birthmother may state that she doesn t really think about her child. An adoptive parent may say that she doesn t like to be reminded that her child is adopted.
Denial is a very useful defense mechanism - it protects the person from painful feelings.
An adoptee experiences a traumatic event upon his arrival in this world. He is separated from the only mother he has known for nine months. The adoptee is then surrounded by strangers. Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Verrier, a therapist and an adoptive mother. The birthmother also experiences great pain - she has lost her child.