Bargaining and self blaming requires a greater level of acknowledgment that the loss has occurred, but resistance lingers to the extent that we attempt to make deals to reverse fate. Anger and anxiety are emotional signals that our psychological equilibrium is out of sync. A loss stirs feelings of rejection and powerlessness that lead to feeling anxious. In the first hours or days, feeling restless and unable to sleep is common. Anger at the loss, the one who is gone, the people who made the decision, all are normal reactions to loss.
Anger often causes the most consternation as it is an emotion with which many are uncomfortable.
Anger is a healthy indication that we are beginning to accept the facts. Acceptance occurs with time. The realization sets in that the situation is not going to be the same as before, or that the person is not going to return and there is nothing that could have been done to change the outcome. There will be moments when a return to any or all of the stages occurs, yet accepting the loss allows us to move forward in the grief process. Emerging from the accumulating BLSA data are two major conclusions.