Fortunately, I had heard most of these arguments before, and I could quickly come up with counter-arguments. In fact, each kind of claim my children made has a courtroom equivalent. Every day, in every court, lawyers are making arguments based on custom, precedent, prior agreements, proposed settlements, economics, tradition, consequences, statutes, expert opinion and justice. Recognizing that arguments of this kind are as common in families as they are in courts is a first step to understanding how rules of law actually work. Making rules and arguing about rules Just because there may be rules, does not mean that there are simple solutions to conflicts between people.
Children know that the rules in a family are always anchored in a social context.
They also know that whether they apply in any given situation is rarely self-evident. And they also know that what distinguishes arbitrary from responsible parents is their willingness to listen to these arguments about the meaning of the rules that have been made. Wise parents also know that their rules alone are not answers to problems. Their rules really serve as guidelines that set out the kinds of considerations parents believe to be important. Rather than give ready-made answers to questions, they actually invite questions.