Though it would be unfortunate to present either situation as a tragedy and either parent as a martyr, it would be a pity also to pretend there are no regrets and that ending a marriage is so common it hardly matters. The guilt parents may feel about ending their marriage may interfere in their disciplining the children. A child needs consistent control and direction. Over-permissiveness, or indecisive parents who leave a child at the mercy of every passing whim and impulse interfere with a child's healthy development. Children need and want to know quite clearly what is expected of them.
Children feel more secure when limits are set.
They are confused when grown-ups seem to permit behavior which they themselves know to be wrong and are trying to outgrow. Children need leadership and sometimes authority.