Carlin Quotes Several Quotes attributed to George Carlin One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.