Rule 1 - When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing. Rule 2 - Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible.
Diagonal parking is preferred.
Rule 3 - In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both. Rule 4 - As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him. Rule 6 - When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard. Rule 7 - When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed. The same rules applies to picking-up and discharging passengers.