Adult takes over feeding when the children are eating messily. Adult excessively interrupts the children's eating for hand and face wiping. Adult forces children to clean their plates and to eat all foods, with little regard to the children's hunger or satiety cues or individual preferences. Adult serves child's plate with adult sized portions. I will try is the phrase that shows a healthy sense of initiative.
Adult encourages child to determine how much, if any, of a new food to try.
Adult respects child's ability to dislike or like a new food. Food is presented to the children so that they can serve themselves, deciding how much to put on their plates. Spills are expected and treated as routine, rather than crisis. Adult scolds children for not cleaning their plates. Child is scolded for spills.