You cannot love someone you do not know. The heart and center of the parent-child relationship is that the parents are engaged in the process of knowing the children God has given them. That is a growing process.
Children thrive in an atmosphere of love.
They long to know that you love them. Most other obstacles can be overcome if the love relationship is present. If you refuse to listen, you become stumbling blocks to them. Listen to what they are saying, and what they are not saying. This is how they reveal their feelings.