Sale of magic lip-rejuvenation potion to minors shall be strictly forbidden. In the event that a marching drill involves rotating circles, the successful completion of this manuver shall be considered an act of god, and all trumpet players must immediately sacrifice a goat. No law may be passed which in an way restricts, prohibits, or taxes caffeine or beer. The 50 yard line is the exclusive meeting place of trumpets, and is therefore considered holy ground. Use of a herald trumpet in a threatening manner shall be punishable by demotion to the status of mellophone.
Corn is good.