A fourth factor is gender. While not always the case, women are more frequently desirous of greater intimacy, while men are often looking for more space. So, you ask, my partner and I seem to need different levels of intimacy. Several techniques are available. First of all, each of you can examine your own relationships with friends, family, and each other, and then rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 100 on your comfortable level of intimacy.
Chances are there is some overlap.
This common area is a place to begin in learning to compromise on the intimacy level in your relationship. Making the numbers as behaviorally explicit as possible is most helpful. Secondly, notice the patterns in your interactions that draw you closer and drive you away. The example at the beginning of the article showed one partner trying to engage the other, but in actuality ended up driving that person away. This effect probably occurs in most relationships, and, if understood, need only cause problems if the partners choose to make it into one.