Become a student of Paul's letters to the early Christians. Develop the habit of talking to God every day about your situation and the victory that you desire. Become part of a small group where you will be accepted and loved with all your spiritual and psychological warts. Faithfully complete the 12 STEP exercise sheets. Read good information about your problem.
Children learn to walk by falling down.
Each time they fall they adjust their balance and try again. Students who fear making mistakes don't grow. Surrender is talking about what you are feeling right now not yesterday. Surrender is letting others know how much you hurt inside. Surrender is letting others know how much you have hurt someone else.