Personal essays by definition contain a personal perspective. You should be there. Watch your construction. If every sentence begins I , you need to rephrase to provide a better rhythm and pace to your piece. No extra points for the number of facts you include.
Academic essays contain more facts than opinion, personal essays contain more opinion than facts.
But ensure the facts you use are accurate. Check names, spellings, numbers. Two sources of confirmation are better than one. Writing essays in a great way to get your opinions off your chest, but avoid philosophical rants which make no connection to your reader s experience. Again, keep it personal while relating to a wider world.