Beer is never late. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another Beer. Hangovers go away. Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a Beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you've had a Beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. A Beer won't get upset if you come home with another Beer. If you pour a Beer right, you'll always get good head. A Beer always goes down easy. You can have more than one Beer in a night, and not feel guilty.