There is no need to punish yourself any longer. God has forgiven you. Allow Him to comfort you and bring you peace as only He can. Suggested Reading Full Assurance by H.A. Ironside, The Believer's New Life by Andrew Murray, and Victory Over The Darkness by Neil T. Anderson. The Crossroads Centre, P.O. Box 5100, Burlington, Ontario, Canada, L7R 4M2.
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In fact, that's the whole reason we exist as a ministry. You may want to call us as you are reading this. Please give us the privilege of doing our best to help more.