In recent months I've had the interesting experience of participating in Internet newsgroups and commercial on-line usegroups discussing adoption. The culture on the Net is different from that of local support groups or conferences or magazines. Net groups are dominated by an oustpoken few. Many other subscribers merely lurk, reading over the shoulders of other posters, afraid to chime in with their own opinions for fear of being blasted.
Adoption can be wonderful, but it's scary, too.
It brings with it a blend of gain and loss, happiness and pain. Pain expressed in any forum tends to create defensive attitudes on the part of other members of the triad. The fear is nearly palpable. I suspect that's true for many others. I began to read omnivorously about adoption.