Also, you may place a high value on independent, spontaneous activity. Your partner, on the other hand, may expect you to provide predictable time, to work together on common interests, to play, and especially to communicate. Expectations for attention, emotional support and affection carry implicit expectations of time together. You may feel that you do not have enough time to fulfill all of your partner's expectations. Couples who derive satisfaction from both their relationship and their academic pursuits, tend to understand what the other's expectations are, reduce or modify certain expectations as needed, and then learn how to establish fairly clear approaches and routines for fulfilling those readjusted expectations.
Communications Maintaining quality in a relationship requires communication.
Partners need to express positive feelings, negative feelings, complaints, needs, and above all, affection. In the academic context, where the environment so clearly emphasizes the importance and independence of academic activities and perhaps by omission de-emphasizes relationships and connectedness, the obvious commitment to equality and the time needed to express that commitment require careful negotiation. Boundaries Boundaries . . . That does not necessarily change after graduation. It is important to learn how to set limits now.