When the mate is sending back positive vibes it can boost or reinforce a person's sense of self and wellbeing. Many women who are not classically beautiful by societal standards can be inexplicably hot. So learning to love yourself is actually an important step in convincing others that you are one hot tamale. A person with a physical handicap might defy our notions of beauty by having certain magnetic characteristics. And someone who is drop-dead gorgeous might have a repelling personality that annuls the physical comeliness.
Attraction is a labyrinth of instincts, intellect, feelings, culture, and opinions.
Attraction can also have nothing to do with the person. Associating someone with positive experiences and situations can also increase their attractiveness. If you meet someone under hot, sweaty, uncomfortable, or awkward circumstances, your associations will be negative. Don't invite your love interest over to play video games in your musty basement. Flirting is another basic instinct that elicits attraction.