He would cry her name out in his sleep and plead to go get her when he awoke. Thankfully, when I was just about ready to pull my hair out with feelings of guilt and frustration, I spoke to someone who put my mind at ease. I was put in touch with Robert Klopfer, LCSW, Director of the Stepping Stones Counseling Center, for a book I was working on. During our conversation, I brought up my concern over my son. I suppose it is hard to attach to someone who keeps being withdrawn from you.
Children instinctively feel the loss of an interrupted attachment process.
I found great solace in his kind words and have drawn on them to this day. Watching your child suffer can bring on tremendous feelings of guilt. Trying to be fair to all children in a stepfamily and consider each one's role and needs can make any parent's head spin. Children residing with you can feel that their world gets turned upside down when their sibling comes to visit. Although they anxiously await the arrival of a stepchild, they can be hurt if they are rebuffed by siblings who are dealing with their own tornado of comings and goings.