Usually, with time, the pain eases and you find you can re-organize yourself as you come to accept the death. You may then find yourself being able to remember the person without feeling so overwhelmed. Death produces grief for several reasons. It may represent a profound personal loss. Also, it is beyond our control and yet it is an inescapable, irreversible fact that remains a mystery.
Death also causes upheaval.
On an emotional level, you lose a person upon whom you may have depended. The intensity of the grief reaction, however, is a function of how the loss is perceived. If, for example, loss follows a protracted illness in an elderly person it may be easier to accept than if it occurs prematurely and violently. Also, if there are unresolved issues with the deceased person or you have unresolved feelings from past losses, the grief may be more intense and more difficult to resolve. People experience and express grief in different ways.