In discussions with children, one finds that frequently the older children in the family are often given the role of overseeing day to day lives of the other children in the family during the parents absence. Responsibilities such as supervising the younger sibling in doing homework, chores and meals are commonplace. When it is a parent or older sibling who is injured, children are confronted with additional confusing role issues. A one time role model, is now the recipient of care. For children, the embarrassment resulting from inappropriate behavior impairs relations with peers.
Children can also find themselves in the role of caregiver.
At a support group meeting this author observed an eight year old daughter of head injured women telling her mother to sit up straight and to wipe her mouth because she was drooling. She explained that she learned to say this from listening to therapists at her home who were treating her mother and from hearing her father say it to her mother. This points to the inadequate education and training that children and siblings received about head injury and how to interact with their head injured family member. Too often professionals and adult family members feel because of age, that the children are unable to handle the reality of the situation. Families often try to shield others in the family from the reality and the pain.