After racking my brain for hours, I finally came up with one advantage. I hope you weren't drinking. I think we raised you better than that. Alcohol is a toxin, you know. Mom, the law says that it's okay for me to consume alcohol.
Alcoholism is nothing to mess around with.
Of course, parents don't usually wait for an invitation to exercise their Perry Mason-like skills. In fact, my mother's obsession with my so-called social life is a skill she's honed and developed over the years. One of the first times I brought a girl over to the house, she inconspicuously set a brochure on teen pregnancy on the coffee table. After calmly pointing out to this woman who nobly carted me around for nine months that I was only fifteen, she responded by explaining to us both that that's what happens when bodies start slappin' from doing the wild thing. No, my mom's not really Tone Loc.