He captures well the sense of defiant abandon that so often characterizes our sexual behavior. One of the marvelous capacities of the human mind is its ability to turn sources of pain into sources of pleasure. It is painful for us, as social animals, to be treated as outsiders. But we can turn this apparent liability into a source of pride and sexual excitement. But there are also downsides to the outlaw mentality.
Conscious defiance is often unconscious compliance.
I knew a man some years ago whose wealthy parents disowned him because he was gay. He was consumed with overwhelming hatred for them and set out to do everything they forbade, to violate every tenet of their moral code. He dropped out of college and began supporting himself by dealing drugs and, later, with armed robbery. He spent most of his 20s in and out of prison, and he died alone in a hotel room of a heroin overdose at the age of 33. He would have done even better if he had understood that really living well entails giving up all thoughts of revenge and focusing instead on developing autonomy and self-respect.