If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee. It doesn't matter. Your coffee doesn't talk to you. Coffee smells good in the morning.
Coffee is good when it's cold too.
Coffee stains are easier to remove. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in. Coffee doesn't shed. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.