Come out whenever it is safe to do so. The day homophobia vanishes is the day lesbian abusers lose their most powerful weapon. Don't ostracize abuse survivors who go outside the community for help. When someone is being attacked and beaten, involving the police and the courts is a smart thing to do. It is not a betrayal.
Abuse is a betrayal.
Private space is only safe if the person who owns or is in charge of the property is willing to keep out abusers of all genders. Used under License.