If you want to be your own lover, the first thing to do is wage an insurrection against guilt. It can be done, with understanding and a little bravery. If you want to eliminate guilt from your consciousness, and thus take what may be your first real steps toward being in an alive relationship with yourself, try starting with masturbation. It's easy, it's fun, and you need nobody's permission. Let curiosity lead you.
Curiosity is the key that turns the lock on generations of negativity, ignorance, fear and shame.
Curiosity always seems to trump the rules about what we shouldn't do, and this is one reason why it's so strictly punished in childhood. As you open up to your curiosity, experience your independence. There is nobody to control you. Nobody to deny you. Nobody to judge you.