I couldn't articulate my hopes and fears in a way that your father could understand. I had no idea of how to be a good mother. You know that Richard and Joanne were very disturbed when I first got them. They had been left in a house with a Japanese family and we had to get the police and a court order to get them out of there. Their mother had run off and left, and as far as I knew no one knew how to find her.
Children are to be beaten into submission.
Mothers don't have feelings. My mother hid her feelings behind a cold tight lipped face. I was left with society's idea of a mother. A TV kind of mom. Always having the food ready, washing done, kids clothed, shopped for, sent to school, homework helped with, personal difficulties dealt with, who beat who in school, broken little hearts, scraped knees and elbows.