A white second-grader, whose parents had enrolled him in a multiracial school so that he would have the opportunity to meet all kinds of children, stepped off the school bus one afternoon with a scowl. This particular little boy, as it turned out, had been kicked in the groin during an informal soccer game. His mother began by showing empathy. When the child was ready to talk calmly,it was time to teach him the difference between personal experience and stereotyping. If a question recurs, it may be time to dig deeper, by sharing appropriate books or helping your child get involved in a related activity.
Children work on their problem-solving skills in many areas of life.
Even minor exchanges teach her something about how much you respect her learning process. By encouraging your child to think things through and make decisions for herself when possible, and being available as a resource and support when she needs it, you affirm her way of looking at things. You teach her to learn from her mistakes. Children learn about the big questions of life through the details they struggle with. If we offer generalizations or noble sentiments, we fail utterly to connect wit the mundane truths they encounter on the playground, in the classroom, and at home.