Early parental neglect, rejection, abuse, domination, coercion, and perfection inhibit the feeling of connection and community in children. However, an equally damaging culprit that hampers the feeling of community in children is parental pampering. The eventual results of early childhood pampering or neglect are often quite similar. As adults, victims of any of the parental mistakes mentioned above may become self-pampering and choose either passively expectant or actively demanding attitudes toward others. In either case, the level of feeling of community is very low or quite superficial and conditional.
Children frequently discover the feeling of power that comes from denying any adult what they want.
Social reality sets limits on how far they can go without paying a price, so they often push this strategy of refusal just up to the brink of suffering major consequences.