Because child conflicts seem the worst when you are busy, tired, or in a hurry, it is important to train and teach children when you are the most calm. Remember, giving options is much more helpful than giving solutions. Solutions discourage thinking. Remember that by tolerating fighting, we give the unspoken message that it is all right to solve problems with force and violence. If parents don't respond in a way that effectively prevents future conflict, the consequences to our children can be devastating.
Children become discouraged to the point of retaliation that often brings harm to themselves.
They are so focused on getting even with their sibling, or the parent who didn't protect them, that they choose to run away or hurt someone else in order to feel powerful or seek revenge. Ka Kathryn J. Kvols is a member of the Montessori Foundation's Board of Advisors, and, a regular contributor to Tomorrow's Child. She is an author, speaker, and President of the International Network for Children and Families in Gainesville, Florida.