Be gentle but firmly assertive with yourself. If you feel you can't make decisions or stand up for yourself, skills are needed to be independent, decisive, and self-assured. Don't overlook the importance of skills and attitudes. Make your own decisions . Be tactfully assertive .
Assertion is the opposite of conformity, passivity, blind obedience, etc. discussed above.
Research has shown that it is important to identify the exact situations where you have trouble being assertive. A person is seldom unassertive in all ways, just in certain areas. You need to practice giving specific responses in troublesome situations relevant to you, because practice in one area doesn't help in other areas. If possible, also get feedback from someone who can provide a model of assertiveness for you and reinforce your good responses. Chapter 13 deals with each of these problems, but you must diagnose your own needs and situation.