I hold her. On one hand, it was a relief. For months I'd been feeling myself riding a Perfect Storm-style wave of love and energy and happiness, probably to the point it annoyed people. I could have been living in hell, but I was happy to be there. Now, the wave has subsided and i'm on the beach, feeling horribly lonely.
Days tumble by clumsily.
Wherever I am, it is a ghost town. I see how in my past, I didn't prepare myself for my future. I never expected anything to change, and now that everything has, I feel terribly ill prepared. I'm in a boxing ring shadow-boxing loneliness, my job, my art. And yet, somehow, I feel like I'm losing.