Dogs are not like this. I had dogs as a child, and have known others since. They probably do make more useful companions than cats, if you can stand their groveling. Go fetch the paper. I'll keep the rodent population at a minimum, and you do your own fetching and carrying.
Cats have much more dignity than that.
I don't hate dogs. They just aren't my preferred style of companion. It's actually a result of their arrogance. My cats always brought me things, but their gifts have never been anything I had a use for. A while back, Jubal left a monster gopher corpse on the doorstep for me to admire.