The information that you have been given about being at greater risk for having the gene because your affected parent is male is incorrect. You and your brother and sister each have a fifty percent chance of having the gene and a fifty percent chance of having two normal genes. Because the HD gene is dominant, someone who has the gene will eventually develop the illness if they live long enough. Family members who do not have the gene often feel real guilt. It's very hard on siblings who test negative when other siblings have tested positive.
Different people cope in different ways.
You will learn that tremendous progress has been made in the last year toward treatments and a cure. We're not there yet but we are close. It helps a lot to know that you are not alone. There's a whole online HD community here. We listen, vent, share ideas, celebrate each step in the research.