Adopted children must confront the difficult questions of whom their biologic parents are and why they are no longer with them. Adopted children sometimes account for the narcissistic injury caused by their perceived abandonment by assuming that they were somehow unacceptable to their biologic parents. Adopted children are naturally inquisitive about their own backgrounds and that of their biologic families. Unresolved questions about their backgrounds can lead to obstacles in healthy identity formation. A strong identification with an idealized image of their biologic parents sometimes fills the emotional void resulting from these lingering uncertainties.
Adoptive parenthood involves difficult challenges as well.
Adoptive parents must resolve the grief for the wished-for biologic child and come to terms with infertility issues. Anger directed toward the spouse held accountable for the inability or the choice not to conceive can taint family relationships. Insufficient emotional acceptance of the adoption alternative may result in a romanticized image of the biologic child who might have been. Negative fantasies about the biologic parents can predispose the adoptive parents to be overly concerned about the adopted child's behaviors. These concerns can lead to a prohibitive attitude toward developmentally normal sexual and aggressive childhood activities.