You don't need a restraining order with bad beer. I never met a beer with a criminal record. Beer labels come off when you want them to. When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger. You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind.
Beer never has a bad temper.
A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp. A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch. A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it. Its easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up. You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer.