The width of backpack straps decreases with the distance hiked. To compensate, the weight of the backpack increases. Average temperature increases with the amount of clothing brought. Given a chance, matches will find a way to get wet. Your side of the tent is the side that leaks.
All foods assume a uniform taste, texture, and color when freeze-dried.
Divide the number of servings by two when reading the directions for reconstituting anything freeze-dried. All tree branches in a forest grow outward from their respective trunks at exactly the height of your nose. If you are male, tree branches will also grow at groin height. You will lose the little toothpick in your Swiss Army knife as soon as you open the box. Enough dirt will get tracked into the tent on the first day out, that you can grow the food you need for the rest of the trip in rows between sleeping bags.