It is almost impossible to control what you don't understand. Furthermore, the toddler has few alternatives to try when attempting to solve problems with others. Therefore, when toddlers are faced with social problems, especially ones that raise strong emotions, their immediate reaction is to respond physically. When they want something, they take it. When they are hurt or feel threatened, they lash out or physically defend themselves.
Adults can help toddlers deal with conflict in two ways.
First, they can structure the environment to prevent conflict from occurring in the first place. Toddlers have such limited skills. Its better, for example, to buy two or three of the same toy rather than buying several different toys. That way, toddlers won't have to wait long for a turn with an attractive toy. It also helps to divide toys up between the children before they begin to play.