Doesn't cost anything to get. I've copied a number of forms and informational packets to give to my clients. My first client is back with her husband after counseling, which I encouraged. There is no problem with giving retainers back. And, New York is fairly progressive, I guess, because no one can get a divorce without a wait of at least a year.
Counseling is encouraged.
But usually it's the people who won't let well enough alone and their lawyers have to talk some sense into them. Frankly, divorce is destructive, period. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Dear Judy, I read your comment, and although it is at first counterintuitive, it makes alot of sense. I agree with you about the destructiveness of the legal system.