Autonomy-ism One of the key things about humanistic psychology is the way in which it emphasises taking responsibility for oneself, and on creating one's own world. As a therapeutic stance, and taken in a first-person way, this can be extremely valuable. It is the classic empowering move for people who have defined themselves as victims hitherto. But taken in a third-person way this becomes oppressive and punitive, a denial of solidarity and fellow feeling. Both sides of the statement are true, and they must not be separated from each other.
Autonomy is important, but love and mutual support and nourishment are important too.
Autonomy as a total ideal is for hermits. This is the way in which group leaders and others aim at warmth, trust and openness in a way which says that if you are not being warm, trusting and open you are not getting it right. This is just as harmful as any other attempt to tell people what to think and what to feel. We are not in the peace and love game, we are in the reality game. If we attend closely to reality and do justice to what is present, what is there, my experience is that peace and love do ultimately ensue, but if they do, they too are real.