And what's more, you would think that these girls would have appreciated a change from the invasive excesses of their own kin. Steve Randell is to be utterly condemned because he was a Catholic and a cricket umpire - one of the most appalling combinations known to humankind. His penchant for veal hamburger was his ultimate undoing but God moves in mysterious ways. The terrified Mistress with a male accomplice ditched the body in the old shallow grave but got pulled by the Old Bill on forensic evidence. The yarn mentioned something about a cricket stump being firmly wedged in said umpire's clacker but this is probably apocraphyl.
Cricket umpires the world over are fetishists, weirdos and deviants of the highest order.
They are invariably punished for being puny weaklings who, any given day, wreak havoc on a game of cricket rendering it virtually unplayable for those actually involved in the contest. I remember a time I was given out LBW, not playing a shot with the ball pitching outside the line of the off-stump. The ball did not deviate on hitting the pitch and could not have hit the stumps if all three were six feet wide. I copped the decision and walked off the playing arena tense but dignified. The good news, however, is that the umpire in question is currently doing an eight year stretch for buggering Presbyterian school children.