Most parents trust other adults and think that their families are safe. Parents do their best to protect their children given their experiences, upbringing and the knowledge available to them at the time. The fact is that most abusers go to great lengths to gain the parents trust. When we feel badly about ourselves, another defence mechanism is to find a scapegoat. Sometimes, as a way of coping with the stress of the event, parents blame the other partner or the child for letting the abuse happen.
Blame is futile, the important thing is to help each other to be strong for the sake of the child.
There is only one blameworthy person, and that is the abuser. They may find themselves crossing the road to avoid contact with neighbours, and sometimes neighbours tell their children not to play with the abused child for fear of contamination. The family's social life can be greatly affected. They may feel quite isolated and that life will never return to normal. The disclosure of child sexual abuse changes the lives, outlooks and attitudes of all family members.