In order to proceed in the journey we need to know where we are going. We need to have a vision of the relationships we seek to achieve. Thinking of the vision as a general direction or a process which can clarify the desired goal might assist in avoiding a positional approach. To transform the vision into reality we have to have a commitment to our goals. Commitment generates a force of will that can support us on the way.
Conflict often is accompanied by pain, blame, and fear.
If we try to examine the consequences of conflict, we will find that suffering is most often caused by violated human needs, such as security, respect, etc. Understanding which of the human needs was violated reveals the causes of the conflict, which then clarifies the direction of our actions and unites us with others, since we all have similar needs. The perception of the parties as being victims, and blaming each other for everything that went wrong limits the possibility of conflict transformation. In order to break this cycle, the parties have to take responsibility for their own actions. Taking responsibility involves self- examination.