He'll respond with some inane topic for you to blather on about for about 500 words. You write it and send it back. If it doesn't completely suck, he'll ask for a bio and a pen name. After that, you get the keys to the kingdom. We have no publication schedule.
Articles appear as they're submitted to the site.
Anything more than that, and you're in the wrong place, bubullah. On the other hand, we don't pay. Not a cent. What you do get is the ability to brag about being a hot web journalist, the undying love of millions, and a hot model to parade around on your arm. You get the adulation of the web-adoring audience, and the ability to spew whatever nonsense you want without having to worry about upkeep.