But that night, I felt it all so intensely, and didn't use my intellect in a defensive way. It was just me and my feelings. This was a cathartic experience, and since then I've been more reasonable about discussing houses, knowing how many problems are involved, and what my real fears are. Although marijuana is often thought of as a social drug, many users, particularly veteran smokers, prefer to smoke when they are alone. At such times, marijuana can function as an introspective aid.
Daily life is full of little hassles which represent one kind of reality.
If you're not careful, you can end up being stuck there. Smoking is a way of keeping myself above the daily chores and problems, enabling me to be aware of the larger things going on in my life. Smoking allows things to come up from deep inside me, things which I have fought off, or opposed, or perhaps simply ignored. I play a particular sequence of records during these times, starting with some electronic music and moving to Bach and ending up with something more raucous. In this way, I can structure my trip, moving through various emotional states in a way that is by now pretty familiar, and which seems to work well, like a ritual.