Avoid an air of remorse or devastation. Reassure the children that you both love them. Let them know with whom and where they will live if that's decided. If it isn't, both of you should encourage them to express what they want while making it clear they will not have the burden of choosing or rejecting a parent. Don't make promises or hold out false hopes of reconciliation.
Children tend to be apprehensive about appearing in court and speaking against a parent in public.
Don't in any way encourage children to take sides. Get professional help for any child who appears unable to cope with the situation. Ages and Stages Children grieve over the loss of a parent in the home. They frequently exhibit behaviors from an earlier stage of development in times of stress. Dreams become nightmares Crying Food refusal Digestive upsets Dull and unresponsive Clinging Begins to mimic the negative or sad voice tone of others.