This is clear to me in the contrast between life before committing to chastity and life afterward. Each made the other, with his consent, a means to an end. But that is not love, and it contrasts sharply in my experience after committing to chastity. All of us want, and deserve, to be accepted at a deep emotional level for who we are, not for whether we can fill another's needs. Paradoxically, this kind of emotional commitment suffers most when sex becomes part of a friendship.
Chaste love can be difficult at times, but so can all living in truth.
I give thanks to God that the Catholic Church understands this well enough to teach it, and I am grateful for an organization called Courage, which exists to help homosexuals live out this teaching. Over the course of my years in Courage I have made more and deeper friendships than I ever did in all my time actively gay, and I am convinced that the Courage witness will help our culture come to a deeper understanding of the true nature of love. David Morrison, a writer and editor, lives in Arlington, Virginia. He is a member of the Courage chapter that meets in College Park, Maryland.