Since the late 1980s, groups like the National Middle School Association have argued that young adolescents are smarter than we realize and vastly underchallenged. Staff members saw the kids as unstable, hormone-ridden menaces who could explode at any time unless the school kept the lid on with inflexible rules imposed from the top down. Although some rules are necessary, young adolescents should have some say in how these are defined and enforced. According to Laurence Steinberg, psychology professor at Temple University in Philadelphia, that strategy helps kids develop personal responsibility but also demonstrates that you, the parent, believe education is important. They're critical for healthy development.
Children share toys with their friends, but adolescents share thoughts and feelings.
Some psychologists say this intimacy marks the beginning of adolescence. Parents need to understand the values of this group and the dynamics of peer pressure. Parents often mistakenly assume their children will avoid drugs and other risks because their kids argue so intelligently about complex social ideas. In elementary school, most kids, regardless of temperament, are perceived as friends by their classmates. But 5 to 10 percent are not.