The officer, it said in the newspaper, wrestled the bat to the ground. However, this was a lie. No wrestling took place whatsoever. Police officers do this sort of thing all the time, and the newspaper will print it to alleviate everyone's boredom.
Deer never die of natural causes.
Deer get killed. It's a widely-known fact that deer are immortal creatures unless humans intervene. This was thrilling. I raced over to their garage and ran face first into a deer carcass, suspended from the ceiling on a hook or a rope or a chain. My friend Kathleen kept killing deer with her car.