Because of the inevitable changes and uncertainties involved in any major life transition, both parent and child struggle with the desire to let go and the longing to hold on. Change is not only inevitable, it is necessary for growth. When to hold on and when to let go becomes an important consideration. Hold on to the values that you have taught your child by your words and your example. Let go of the expectation your child that will hold fast to those values without wavering or questioning.
College challenges students to examine their values and to make their own decisions.
The determination of consequences for those choices is yours to decide or to negotiate with your child. Let go of the need to save your child from mistakes. Mistakes are a natural part of learning and call for understanding and change rather than chastisement and rejection. Hold on to regular, open communication with your child, even if he or she pulls back for a while, distracted by the challenges of college life or determined to establish a sense of independence. Communication is even more important during this period of transition, a link with your shared past and a path for your future relationship.