Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.