Today, even though we are adults, many of us still feel like scolded children when our partner criticizes us. We experience criticism as attack. Depending on our disposition, when criticized we either fold or counterattack. Some people crumble under criticism. They stand shame-faced, mumbling apology like chastened children before an angry parent.
Aggressive counterattack is the more common response to criticism, however.
It follows the principle that the best way to overcome feeling vulnerable and under attack is to get angry, look big and criticize back. Thus, the typical incident of criticism between partners has each feeling little and vulnerable inside but acting big and scary on the outside. However, despite the difficulties involved in exchanging criticism, it remains as essential element of any honest, open relationship. Relationships that don't allow for healthy criticism almost inevitably suffer. Hearing yourself criticized may not be pleasant, but without the information that criticism provides you have no way of learning about and accommodating the needs and preferences of your partner and visa versa.