And sometimes the parents were not happy at first about a pregnancy. But it is best when the parents can recognize, and tell the children, that there was once love between them and that they were glad to have each child. This knowledge can help children feel cared for and begin to realize that they are not responsible for the divorce. Second, children need to know that, regardless of where they live, the absent parent will continue to love them and will not abandon them. Children should be told when they can expect to see the absent parent, and then the adults should hold to the schedule.
Consistency helps children feel safe.
One way to reassure children of visits is to make two identical calendars with the help of both parents with notes indicating visit dates. Then the children can keep one calendar and the absent parent the other. Parents can help the children learn to accept the fact that the parents are not going to live together again. It is normal that the children will feel grief about the separation of their parents. Children should be encouraged to express their feelings.