They do not expect happiness in marriage because it has not been their experience of their parents' relationship. Some children will suffer more if the marital discord is covert instead of out in the open. Sometimes parents feel they can protect their child from pain by shielding them from the conflict. Children definitely should be shielded from the marital battle. However, after a point, if resolution cannot be achieved, the marital battle spills inevitably onto the unconscious of the child, and the atmosphere of the family.
Communication is shortened.
Depth of feeling is absent. Left unidentified and ignored, such unconscious conflict can be more destructive to our children's future than if it is brought out in the open and addressed in divorce. Fears of intimacy and commitment, thought to be results of divorce, are in fact phenomena often experienced by children who grew up in disturbed intact families. When this emotional alienation occurs, children may develop an aversion to intimacy or an inability to commit to a partner. In addition we should keep in mind that when spouses divorce, they are not guaranteed of marital happiness with anyone else.