Cows appreciate the soft touch of a veteran farmer's hand gently coaxing milk from the underbellies. Now you could scrape the fat from your arteries with a butter knife from drinking the stuff. Really, I'm not kidding. In fact, it would suck. Cow's take pleasure in revenge, they really do.
Cows are loud.
One time my daddy sat me down on the top rail of a pasture fence so we could watch the cows. There were about thirty of them-black, brown, some with big spots on their sides. They were just mooing away to beat all. One in particular would take a big bite of grass, chew on it for a minute and then blare out this deafening moo. I had to put my hands over my ears, they were so loud.