So I go off the drug and gain weight during the week and then take the drug to lose weight on the weekend. I just can't seem to shake the need to be thin. I realize that there are others who write to you with more debilitating and blameless conditions, but I am at a stage where I just cannot continue this way and would be forever indebted for your advice. In a career such as yours where long hours are part of the job, quitting amphetamine use may decrease your energy and make you feel less effective, thereby making it difficult to stop on a psychological level. The good news is that if use is not resumed, these symptoms will gradually decrease as time goes by.
Addiction is multi-faceted.
It is emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual. The cycle is difficult. I encourage you to take some time to talk to someone who has experience in working with addiction and body image issues. Given that you started using at 19 and are now 26, you must face the fact that you are physically addicted to amphetamines. To overcome your dependency, you may choose to go to a clinic where the counselors specialize in addiction.