I think he means that cooking, like life itself, is unfair and filled with regrets. You'll never become a great cook by ordering carry-out. You have to disappoint many invited guests before you begin to grow as a cook and as an accomplished excuse-maker. Buy a meat thermometer. Be mentally and physically prepared to use it.
Barbecue is the slow smoking of meats.
It means to cook near a fire of low heat. Fahrenheit is best. At 105 o F., your kid should be in a hospital. Grilling is the cooking of meat over a hot fire. 275 o F. and hotter.