And those stages tend to follow a pattern. Right after my parents told me about my mom's diagnosis, I went into emotional denial. When people asked me how my mom was doing, I told them only facts. When they expressed sympathy or concern, I pulled back. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to feel the pain, I wouldn't be able to cope.
Denial is a two-edged sword.
For a time, it provides a way to let things sink in more slowly. People take sideways glances at situations that are too hard to look at straight on. But long-term denial can isolate people. My mom was in denial during most of her illness. A couple weeks after she was diagnosed, she told one of my sisters that there had been a mistake.