So I ve given up feeling guilty and futile about it and instead starting trying to transform. I started trying to choose healthy comfort to become more comfortable in my own skin instead of using shadow comfort to prove to myself what a worthless worm I really am. No one need see this list. You might have to play detective for a few days and watch yourself to see what you prefer. My friend Deborah told me anger was her favorite shadow comfort.
Anger can be the fire of self-righteous.
If you think only you are right, you don t have to look at your part in whatever happened. Anger can distance you from others and keep you from intimacy. You can t really think about others. Think of hurts, stresses, and when you are being pushed to be more alive. For me, when someone rejects something I ve written when I'm stuck in my writing, when I need to connect with Lilly or Chris but don't want to make the effort, when I'm trying to do something and keep getting interrupted, these are my siren calls to sweets or other distractions.