Ray's body was found after several days of being in the water, necessitating a closed casket funeral. The family, including Chad, worked together to select meaningful items to be placed in the casket. A picture of Chad, a letter from Ray's mom, and some other items were chosen. Chad was made an important part of the funeral process, and by doing so, the funeral process became an important part of him. He needed to say good-bye and created a way to do so.
Children assuredly follow their hearts to find their own unique ways to work through grief.
Being present at the funeral, placing personal momentos in the coffin, and participating in the ceremony are very concrete ways children can contribute to the process of saying good-bye. Jonathan said he wanted to go, and he did. When the family was viewing the body, he wanted to look too. Gratefully, I agreed. Jonathan walked over, viewed the body, and was quite satisfied.