Domestic violence is distinguished from other kinds of abuse because of the special relationship between the persons. Domestic violence is further defined as the chronic, physical, sexual and psychological maltreatment of one intimate partner by another, with the intent to control in non-consensual or harmful ways. This misuse of power harms the psychological, social, economic, sexual and physical well-being of the victim. Abuse is often hard to recognize and many people believe it can only happen to submissives or novices. That is untrue.
Abuse can and does happen to anyone.
Only you can know when you agree to something. The use of safewords is not the only way to distinguish consent. If you are being fulfilled and have increased self-esteem as a result of your activities and your partner claims the same, then chances are you have a very healthy bdsm relationship. Only you can know. A healthy bdsm relationship is one where both parties are actively invested in the well-being of each other and themselves.