In every hostile-language situation you have a broad range of responses at your disposal, from fierce anger at one extreme to silence at the other.
Different responses have different consequences.
The consequences of chronic exposure to hostile language literally threaten your life and the lives of everyone else one involved. You don't have to go that route. Use verbal self-defense instead. You can also find a lot of information on verbal self-defense in her recent The Grandmother Principles and in her novels, which aren't part of the series. Inc. All rights reserved.