Changing your partner must never be the goal. Healing your past, building self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and speaking from your own experience will eventually impact your partner, creating new patterns of relating. Conflict is inevitable. Whenever two people get together, eventually some of the belief systems and personal habits of one will annoy the other, regardless of how much love there is. In healthy relationships couples learn how to resolve conflict.
Confrontation is normal and healthy.
The sooner you bring up issues when you feel hurt, taken advantage of, irritated, misunderstood, or ignored, the better for the relationship. Suppressing them keeps you a victim and only leads to hostility and feelings of separateness. Good communication tools can help you and your partner to solve problems, resolve conflicts and process emotional upsets. With good communication, you can almost always navigate your way to a more fulfilling relationship. Suzanne has been counseling individuals, couples and families for over twenty years, and is a member of the advisory board of the National Association for Self-Esteem.