It insulates from fear about the loss of the relationship and the feelings of rejection, loneliness and depression. Some people react by becoming withdrawn and isolated. Others become highly active to block out the pain. Denial of the divorce is the child's attempt at trying to control a situation in which they have no control. They will deny the divorce to themselves, with their parents, at school, with friends, etc.
Denial serves to defend against intolerable pain until it can be tolerated bit by bit.
A parent may ask the other parent to become involved in counseling, to stop engaging in some behavior or to participate in activities together. Some people may make a deal with themselves to do something they believe will save the marriage or help them overcome the loss of the relationship. Bargaining by children is an attempt to keep parents from divorcing. Children will bargain with themselves, their parents, their teachers, friends and even God. They will offer to keep their rooms cleaner, do their homework, and not to fight with their brothers and sisters.