We would run, run, run, and totally keep tabs on our weight. Then I started throwing up my freshman year. It was all about trying to fix something I felt was wrong, but I didn't know what was wrong. It's never about what I'm doing, drinking, eating, shopping, men or whatever. It's about feelings and trying to fix something I'm feeling.
Alcohol is a symptom, as are the others.
It's about trying to fill the hole in my gut, to not feel, to numb out. That's my personality. I can trade off addictions. I was terrified. I thought I was going to die because I was so uneducated about it.