Many experts say that there is no connection between that kind of bully and the kind of kid who might take a gun into a school yard. But Pollack doesn't agree. There's more recognition that murderous and violent behavior is part of a continuum, starting with verbal assault, Pollack said. He believes that to permit verbal assault is to give bullies the message that physical assault, too, may be tolerated. For many bullies, being aggressive gives a sense of accomplishment they don't find in other areas of their lives.
Bullies take pride in their bullying, in making kids feel bad.
The idea is that if another kid feels bad, they feel good, said an eighth-grader at Yeshiva Toras Chaim at South Shore in Hewlett. Changing the Bully Helping a kid to stop bullying is a complex process. Usually their first response is to tell me to mind my own business. Then we try to explore other ways that they can get the same rewards. Kandice Mayo, an honor student who hopes to be a lawyer and, eventually, president of the United States, said that she can recall a time several years ago when she, too, was a bully.