Many victims don't see the things their partners do the them as abusive, and they don't see them as a pattern. Abuse is about control. It is one person scaring another person into doing what he wants her to do. It is not just one hit. It is a pattern.
Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, economic.
It can also be criminal. It is usually a whole series of behaviors used to get and keep control. Here is a list of questions for you to ask yourself. Anyone can be an abuser. On the surface, abusers may appear to be good providers, loving partners and law-abiding citizens, but their abusive behavior toward their victims can lead to severe injury and even to murder.