In order for chickens to fly, they must first do strenuous calisthenics. If someone loves you, they'll run you off the road. If they really love you, they'll do it in slow motion. Actors on stilts don't look like tall aliens, they look like actors on stilts. D.B. Sweeney sounds an awful lot like Michael J. Fox, and costs a lot less.
British people are mean.
Midgets have really large children. Eddie Murphy looks better in a fat suit than Martin Lawrence. The Boston accent is really hard to do, and when you get it wrong, you sound really stupid. Five slaves cost the same as two gay giraffes. Blue chicks are sexy.