They've been part of the congregation for a long time. But no one makes a great deal of that. Small-town churches would rather have people involved in the life of the church than not, he said, even if their lifestyle is questionable. Some take comfort that the church's standards are upheld by constitutional amendment G.6106B, but most are reluctant to enforce the amendment in a judicial way. When you're in a presbytery of small churches, you don't want to make your church too much smaller.
Clarity is important in the legal, legislative environment and in the pastoral environment, love is.
It is a difficult, difficult tension. You have to teach and love. A gay couple are told about the church's opposition to same-sex unions, but are encouraged to stay in the congregation. A young church leader who is living with his girlfriend is quietly asked to stop doing so, and does. Or a dying man and his live-in girlfriend are cared for by a parish, with few questions asked.