As you know, UU congregations have done gay unions for years, and a few years ago, the General Assembly endorsed the legalization of same-sex marriage. It would be arrogant for me to prescribe what religious denominations should be doing. But churches that care about this issue can do several things. For instance, announce to your congregation that you d like to recognize committed partners. Make it clear that if a couple wants to get married, your congregation would be delighted to marry them.
Church members can still be afraid, regardless of the overall policy of their denomination.
So make an explicit statement. And get involved in the local marriage politics, whatever they are. This issue is being fought jurisdiction by jurisdiction, state by state, and every state needs more people to work for same-sex marriage. Nearby, at the Unitarian Church of Montpelier, supporters gathered for an interfaith service. We Are a Gentle, Angry People.