Thinking is something that usually comes along after the primary emotional event and that thinking often leads to a defensive response. If we can't avoid a person who hurt us, or if we can't stop obsessing about the person, then we want to attack, feel narcissistic rage, and fight defensively. Anger and fighting is our second line of defense. If we can't win the battle, we usually get depressed. In each defense, the person wraps the self in a hard exterior to protect a wounded heart.
Depression is our third line of defense.
Lots of events. Prayer is another. It usually isn't easy to empathize with a person who has hurt us, a person we might be afraid will hurt us again, a person we might be angry at, a person whom we see as the cause of our depression. But empathy is truly a key to forgiveness. We have shown this in rigorous research on forgiveness, but I have also experienced it in my own life in dealing with the murder of my mother.