Abusers can change, but it requires a lot of time and hard work. Most abusers can't change significantly without professional help. An apology means nothing. Most abusers feel genuine remorse after an episode, because they know they are at risk of losing their victim and perhaps being held responsible for their actions. On one level they know what they are doing is wrong, but on a deeper level, it doesn't matter.
Abusers can use words, actions and emotions to get what they want.
They are usually masters at manipulation. They know what people want to hear. I'd suggest finding a different counselor. Many counselors make the mistake of thinking that the abuser is a normal person who is simply prone to violence on occasion. This is not the case.