Those two attitudes are critical ingredients in any stable and fulfilling relationship, and you are systematically destroying them. I can't make it without you. I spend my days waiting for you to call and am crushed when the phone doesn't ring. I am desperate without you. This is a classic panic reaction, and it is leading you to appease your husband.
Appeasement is virtually never successful in human relationships.
In fact, it often leads directly to war, whether between husbands and wives or between antagonistic nations. Nothing destroys a romantic relationship more quickly than for a person to throw himself or herself, weeping and clinging, on the back of the cool partner to beg for mercy. That makes the wayward spouse even more anxious to escape from the leech that threatens to suck his life's blood. He may pity the wounded partner and wish that things were different, but he can rarely bring himself to love again under those circumstances. You need to understand that Joe's withdrawal from the relationship is directly linked to his quest for freedom.