As you learn to deal with anxious feelings that challenges by others brings up, you become more self sufficient. You can learn to self soothe that anxiety instead of reacting to others with defensiveness and anger. You can learn to substitute feeling good about finding an area of yourself where you can grow instead of becoming anxious and resorting to old needs to prove that you are right. As you relinquish self centeredness and look to the needs of those around you, you develop intimacy and connectedness. Life becomes an exercise in taking responsibility for your part in conflict.
Conflict is seen as an opportunity for growth.
Self esteem increases when you face your deepest fear that you might be wrong. As you release your need to only see things in the way that you have seen them before, you open up new possibilities. Rigidity of thought fosters predictability which does help keep anxiety at bay. With new stress management tools to deal with anxiety and uncertainty, life becomes more exciting. As you let go of your need to control others, you have more energy to spend on things that are really important.