No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on the floor. Shoots stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit flies or bugs. Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants. Pisses directly into bottom of urinal, likes to make bubbles. Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows guy next to him will get blamed.
Bangs penis on side of urinal to dry it off.
Waits until he has to crap, then does both. Stands for awhile, gives up, walks away. Holds two inch penis like a baseball bat. Looks into urinal to the left, pisses into one in the center, flushes one on the right. Stands back, and challenges others to distance contest.