Because one parent finds something very comforting and healing, it's tempting to think the other one needs this too. What is comforting to one, may be sheer torment to their spouse. Recognize that everyone grieves differently. It's often difficult for bereaved parents not to express verbally how they wish their spouse would change. Acceptance of your spouse's different mode of grief can be a tough assignment.
Death always brings change, even when it's early in a child's life.
Priorities and commitments involved with the child come to a screeching halt. Suddenly your stability is gone. Even the most simple of life's daily chores become memory-filled challenges. Change pulls our life-preserver from our grasp in the turbulent waters of grief. When a spouse criticizes their partner's grief or lack of grief, the ability to stay afloat is lost.