Unlike projective love, companionate love works best when the individuals involved have a lot in common and feel adequate in their own right. Rather than being possessive, companionate love gives both parties space to develop as individuals. Each respects the other and wants the other to be happy. It is quite realistic about the characteristics of the other, quite good humored about them, and not so easily threatened by problems in the relationship. In companionate love, persons are themselves and put a premium on being natural rather than putting on a good show for the other.
Companionate love tends to grow and last.
It is a willingness to be kind, generous, affectionate, giving and nurturing to others that transcends concern for what one receives in return. It is unselfish, and empathic. It requires wisely planning and setting limits. One cannot give away one's own livelihood and self esteem for others or there will be no resources with which to help others. Universal love requires wisdom and a willingness to take risks for the sake of benefitting others.