The identity problems that I am referring to are simple. Adoptees who have not yet reunited yet do not know who they look like or take after. When they see the resemblances that their adoptive family members have to each other, they feel different. All of the above mentioned traits may lead adoptees to seek comfort in people, places, and things outside themselves. The bottom line is that they don't want to feel the pain that they may or may not even know they have.
Denial is a big part of being adopted.
Many adoptees will tell me that they don't mind being adopted and that they never wonder about their 'real' parents. I believe that this is humanly impossible. At one time or another in an adoptees life, I believe that they will eventually have the desire to find those that resemble them and, most importantly, to find out the circumstances of their relinquishment. Remember that everybody has a different personality and emotional life. I have heard from many adoptees who do no agree with my position.