Talking with the founder of the Promise Keepers, Bill McCartney, and reading accounts of their gatherings, one sees no signs of the authoritarian impulses claimed by the critics. Like most of us, these men have lived less than saintly lives, but unlike many of us, they have the courage to acknowledge their weaknesses and make solemn efforts to change. They promise to trust in Christ, practice moral and sexual purity, love their families, support their local churches, and seek racial harmony. McCartney himself, a popular football coach who took the University of Colorado to a national championship, almost lost his own wife through neglect. But he left coaching, rebuilt his family, and has become a role model for men who flock to hear him.
Critics also fail to understand how positive a force male bonding can be.
In the past, men's groups sometimes had the effect of putting women down. But with the strides that women finally are making toward equality and the way they are supporting each other through flourishing networks, it's time to recognize once again that fellowship among men is natural and healthy. The Promise Keepers certainly aren't perfect. Some of them do speak as if they want to re-establish the old patriarchy. But the more serious among them understand that is unacceptable and recognize their need to be clear and consistent about their goal, which is to restore strong, loving families where husband and wife serve each other.