Occasionally, when I am hungry, my dog head attempts to attack and eat my pig head. I am currently employed as a children's entertainer. I play guitar and sing songs about farm animals and augment these songs with authentic animal noises. I try to portray a cheerful, non-frightening image to the children but my bloody pig ear and crooked neck is threatening to damage my reputation. I fear that the children will see me as a monster, not the gentle giant that I really am.
Any advice is appreciated.
Until such a time, however, Ms Netters will make the following suggestions. Firstly, get a muzzle on that dog head. Secondly, try to prevent canine ingestion of the pig head while the pig head is smoking and the canine head has just consumed a good deal of high-proof alcohol. Thirdly, consider becoming a recording artist rather than a live entertainer. Through some no little irony, an animated character based closely on your actual physiological self will likely find large acceptance in children's entertainment.