Do not set time limits for yourself or your children to adjust. The healing process varies, although an average adjustment period ranges from two to five years. We want to talk to the children about our decision, but are afraid we might approach the subject in the wrong way. Share the positive aspects of your marriage with your children. Be open and direct about your feelings, remembering that spouse-bashing is never an acceptable or constructive way to communicate feelings of hurt and frustration to your children.
Children already are aware of parental difficulties and often know more than their parents realize.
By acknowledging reality, the child's fear of the unknown lessens. Assure children they are not responsible for the breakup nor are they being rejected or abandoned. Relate the news in a loving manner. Indicate that divorce is a decision made by adults, not by children. Place personal feelings aside and refrain from criticizing your former partner.