It is important for the courts to recognize and support healthy family systems and not to over-react to the volatile emotions of divorce. All children can be enlisted into the battle, but, generally speaking, the children who are most vulnerable may be overly dependant, fearful and passive. The more vulnerable children pick up and resonate with the parental feelings. Generally, the children will have little insight into their situation. Many high conflict families view the court as determining not only custody and visitation .
Court is seen as a place where one person is judged to be fit, and the other unfit.
The court can help ameliorate this unfortunate scenario by making explicit the legal and pragmatic grounds for a decision. If appropriate, the court can declare neutrality on personal and moral issues that do not expose a child to harm. Compassionate communication that does not further the anger, loss, shame and humiliation in this public forum can be immensely healing.