The opposite of modesty is extreme self-centeredness, in which the individual thinks that he or she is the ultimate arbiter of all right and wrong. Such a person would submit to power, but not to persuasion. Such a person might submit to a biblical command out of fear of divine retribution, but would resist rabbinic counsel, which is dependent upon persuasion rather than enforcement. By contrast, the modest person is one who recognizes that strength of passion and desire for self gratification have the capacity to blind him to moral sensitivity. Just then, it is essential for him to turn to objective sources of wisdom and ethics to provide the inspiration necessary to resist the drive for immediate gratification.
Custom occupies a very special place in the ranks of Jewish authoritative teaching.
Rather than being a manifestation of the superior teaching authority of either Torah or the sages, from the top down, custom is a reflection of the embodiment of wisdom and spiritual insight in the Jewish people as a whole, bottom up. The capacity to create binding custom reflects the ability of people to hear each other, to respect the creative spiritual insights of their peers, and to cooperate in experiments designed to achieve common goals. This democratic spirit animates Jewish customs - from the lighting of candles for Shabbat to the commemoration of Yom Hashoa, from the washing of hands before eating to the shofar being sounded 100 times instead of only 30. Each of these customs became and remained universal by virtue of the capacity for collaboration and respectful relationships between individuals across all lines of division. Pharisees and Sadducees, men and women, Ashkenazim and Sephardim, hasidim and misnagdim, orthodox, conservative or reform, all Jews could join in the creative process of shaping spiritual moments.