If we grow up in a family where verbal abuse or shaming others is common, we pick up those behaviors. We may use them without realizing how painful and destructive they are. The next time you feel angry, think about what you are saying as well as how you are saying it and how it may be affecting the person you are talking to. Then read the words you have written out loud. If you have included insulting words like stupid, ugly, lazy, fat in your list, you use violent language when you are angry.
Children have trouble expressing their anger and frustration, just as adults do.
If children always see angry parents expressing their anger through yelling or breaking things, rather than parents who can calmly manage their differences, they will not learn good coping skills. The following activities help adults and kids talk about how they feel when family members turn their anger on each other. Children and parents can take five minutes to draw pictures of how they feel when someone is angry with them. Share the pictures and talk about your feelings, one at a time. Parents often don't realize how frightening they are when they are angry.