Problems in the relationship may develop at this time due to the lack of understanding of the emotional issues that surface during the search process. Society has few role models for this experience. Parties may need help to resolve the situation. Issues will surface that will address the status of the relationship and its future development. In this stage, disengagement is characterized by either the adoptee or the birth relative pulling back and away from the other party.
Disengagement can be extremely painful for either party.
Feelings of anger, loss and rejection are typical. This stage can occur if expectations are too rigid and differences between parties are just too great. Solidification is characterized by continuing and sometimes earnest negotiations between all parties. Roles, differences and issues continue to be worked out, but the relationship is more solid and settled because agreement has been reached in many areas. Renegotiations occur as life changes and growth takes place and new relationship roles emerge.