Wild Hogs WeirdHarold. By Etaoin Shrdlu, WeirdHarold. Governor Mike Johanns has called up units of the Nebraska National Guard to hunt down and exterminate roving bands of wild hogs. Area farmers and ranchers welcomed the governor s martial approach to the pig crisis. I ve seen them critters eat a clumsy farmhand in seconds, said Broken Bow rancher Lester Crank McCrea.
City folks are also concerned about the porcine threat.
Animal-lover Vaclay Mirckovic of Stoysich House of Sausage agreed, but added that the pig corpses then should be rolled in crushed garlic, olive oil, and black pepper. Even UNO Chancellor Nancy Belck climbed on the pork extermination bandwagon, after some initial confusion. When I first heard the governor talking about pigs, I thought he was referring to the ones wearing coats and ties in state government, but either way heads must roll. We can live with Crips and Bloods, but we will not abide wild hogs.