Most cities however have community services that run on a sliding scale. You might want to investigate the possibility. If not there are several good books on the subject. In terms of medication whenever anyone is feeling depressed for as long as you have and are feeling suicidal then medication is probably required. Appropriate anti-depressant medication simply allows your own body to increase its neurotransmitters, which are the brains' chemicals, that allow your feelings and thoughts to run smoothly and regularly.
All medication has at least a few side effects.
These are usually mild to moderate and only for a short time. Each body however is different and therefore a doctor might have to try several different medications in order to find the appropriate one for the person. There are several general medical practitioners who are willing to prescribe for depression even without seeing a counselor, although I do not recommend this. Often a general physician is cheaper than a psychiatrist. I want to wish you luck and certainly hope that you seek out appropriate help.