This meaningless play period is the rare time when the dog punches in its timecard. I know you have 25 more options thanks to our large alphabet, but don't waste your incredible wit on your four-legged friend. As you can see they're a bunch of fakes and they're just bringing us along for their walk through life. The only downfall to a dog's existence is they eat stuff they shouldn't have been sniffing in the first place and they have to endure occasional visits to the dreaded vet. Even at the vet's office, half the time they get a free pedicure.
Cats are even worse.
They flaunt their effortless lives in front of humans and we, again, buy right into it. Cats never would have been offered the good life if they didn't purr when being touched. For all we know this purring noise is really cat laughter. People, the joke is on us. The worst part is we'll never change.