Encourage them with questions about their feelings and opinions. Teach them to make their own decisions. This will teach them to take and accept responsibilities. Do not set rules you know you are not going to follow. This will confuse your children about what you expect from them.
Anger is a powerful feeling.
Let your children select the activities they are interested in. Ask questions and share answers with them. The children will develop a better vocabulary. Pick a time of day every day just to sit with them. You can read, write or just talk.