I began facing the fact that I was gong to be empty for the rest of my life. No matter who I was with, they were going to sap me of my life, and I would do the same thing for them. The Death Grip. What it does is destroy the personalities of those involved because each is placing conditions on the other. If either party fails to keep the conditions, the relationship is at stake.
Dependent relationships put people in boxes.
There is no freedom to grow or to be unique. Personal identity becomes increasingly hazy. These are love-hate relationships in which the participants are mutually oppressed and suppressed. Each sets standards over the other which are never quite met, or which are moved higher when they are met. Each sees himself as better than the other.