I was no longer interested about how to get better, but of how to die. I could no longer do the things I like. Running and playing soccer was impossible. Going to movies is out of the question since I couldn t even walk. Fun was no longer part of my life.
Death pervades the minds of the acute sick and the starving poor.
The only thing that restrains the bridge-dwellers from suicide is the Buddhist belief that those who take away their own lives go straight to hell. As time passed and my mobility improved, I withdrew from the topic of death. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope was still there waiting for me at the bus stop. I started comparing myself with others who are worse off.