You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat. Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow moldy if you leave them in the fridge for a month. Beer is always in season. Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work. Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.
Cucumbers have fewer calories.
Your spouse won't complain about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers. You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment. Your spouse won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers. You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later. You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.