Research has shown that a child's ability to get what he or she wants in an acceptable manner is directly related to the number of solutions or alternatives the child can think of in a situation. A child who can think of five ways to get what he or she wants will generally display more socially acceptable behavior than the child who can think of only one or two ways. Following are some general steps in teaching problem-solving skills to children. Get the facts and the feelings When children are upset, fighting, angry, or hurt, first find out the details. Spend some time focusing on feelings.
Children see things primarily from their own perspectives.
They may be completely unaware of how their behavior affects other people, except when another person interferes with their needs. To negotiate fair solutions, children need to know how others feel. Help children see the goal Generating ideas for solutions is much easier for children when they have a clear goal. Help children define the problem in terms of what both children want to happen. When the problem is phrased this way, children get the idea that the needs of both are important.