Give yourself adaptive 'self' statements about the situation, and try not to ruminate and get worked up even more. Only talk about the situation again when you are calm enough to deal with it without exploding. Consequently, they go through life masking their self-concern. They turn all their attention to the concerns of others and largely ignore their own emotional needs. They live in the fear of being indicted on the charge of 'selfishness'.
Caretakers are usually lonely and emotionally undernourished.
They operate in an emotional 'trade deficit'. The give enormous amounts of compassion to others and never get enough emotional nurturance in return. They have many friends but few intimate, truly nourishing relationships. Caretakers are sensitive to the needs of others and are therefore predictable, steady, useful, and safe. They may be stuck in the 'middle ranges' of emotional expression, as they rarely attain the range of emotional expression.