Once I had identified a prospective partner, I moved in quickly, speeding the relationship along to a crescendo, which included compulsive phone calls, a total time dedication on my part, and eventually a crash-landing, usually on cement. From the ages of 17 to 27, I was never without a relationship, always planning my next target long before the previous relationship had ended. I wasn't getting any younger, I reasoned, and I felt driven to settle, to lower my standards in the quality of men I would pick up. Compulsion is the thread that ties these confidential tales together. Normal people want to have sex.
Addicts have to.
Or who masturbates twice a day and has done so every single day of their life. Or a married person who has one affair after another, continually endangering their relationship. Stories like these led a Boston musician and his wife to form the first Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting in 1976. They adapted the 12-step program created by Alcoholics Anonymous to create a forum in which to talk about compulsive sexual behavior. By embracing relationship issues as well as sexual behavior, SLAA attracts more women to its meetings than do the other groups.