But shadows of reality are never far from make-believe. Patricia Alder, Ph.D., a sociologist who spent seven years analyzing techniques children use to maintain power in grade school cliques, discovered that most cliques include careful screening of potential members, personal invitation into the clique, exclusion, and finally harassment of those outside the clique. It's part of their normal, psychological development. One of the key developmental tasks of kids in the middle-grade years is to figure out how they measure up against everyone else. Before they reach high school, they're already scrambling to find their place in the social structure.
Cliques are a way of coping in an intimidating and often unstable situation.
We may not be able to prevent our children from experiencing rejection, but we can influence them from the sidelines. Marsha Keating, a pastor's wife who home schools her three children, believes that plunging kids into the hard realities of the world doesn't discharge parents from their responsibility. Parents do need to guide their children in their outside relationships. You can't assume they will automatically gravitate to the right clique. More important than cliques is choosing godly friends.