Children in the dysfunctional family, school or neighborhood setting take on or internalize the behavior of all three sides of the Drama Triangle. Stressors in a life cause us to jump back and forth between the three roles of aggressor, victim or rescuer. Gerald Patterson's Coercion Model of Aggression says that parents who lack parenting skills unwittingly train their children to be angry. His research shows that poor parental discipline skills and coercive management practices cause escalation of child-parent conflict and increase children's aggression towards others. The child and parents elicit negative behavior from each other.
Children feel helpless and sense the lack of justice.
Children are traumatized living in a war zone under conditions of threat in these families. They learn coping styles of coercion, submission and enabling in an attempt to keep themself safe. So think of it this way. You, however, want something different for your life and your children. The way out of the dysfunction is through education and understanding.