We were at it like rabbits all over the place, in motels, in limousines, in closets, bathrooms, on the stairs. Recently, however, things have become a little dull. Although I get on well with my boyfriend, at times he is somewhat lacking in the social graces. In particular, during our love making he just humps away without saying anything. A. Words fail me.
City stand absolutely no chance.
Every time we make love my mistress complains that my beard and moustache irritate her nipples. I am always reluctant to criticise the mores and social customs of a foreign country but your suggested remedy does appear a little drastic. I have recently turned my basement into a dungeon room with all sorts of kinky bondage gear and a special area for Water Sports. We frequently have the most incredible orgies with scenes of depravity you can hardly imagine. The thing is, I'm terrified the neighbours will find out.