You have probably heard statistics about the number of marriages that break up after the death of a child. I don't know accurate numbers, but I do know that great strain is placed on a marriage after such a tragic event. Many couples have expressed that their relationship has had to do a great deal of changing to survive. And a death seems to place a sort of magnifying glass on areas that had cracks before the death. The grief process is a roller coaster of emotions.
Couples interpret the ups and downs in a number of ways.
Some say that they go up and down at opposite times so they can offer help to the other when they are down. But I have seen many couples in the SIDS Parent Support Group and almost all of these have survived this loss with a good marriage, perhaps stronger then before. Those parents have taught me a number of things which help to keep a marriage strong through the grief crisis. Take time regularly for each other. Set aside at least a few minutes each day to talk.