Sitting in a corner and crying in the hope that people will come to us is generally an ineffective way of meeting that need - it may work, but it is painful and carries a terribly high price for ourselves and others. If life is unsatisfactory or we are distressed or in trouble, we need to check whether we are succeeding in meeting our basic psychological needs for power, belonging, freedom and fun. In this society, he says, the survival need is normally being met, it is in how we meet the other four psychological needs that we run into trouble. Reality Therapy has to be about things that are in your control - things that are possible to do. According to Reality Therapy, changing what we do is the key approach to changing how we feel and to getting what we want.
Control is also very important.
Glasser's focus is on individual choices and sticking to what is in our own control to do while respecting other people's right to meet their own needs. Practitioners of Reality Therapy delve into the past with a client but not to a great extent. The past is seen as the source of individual wants and the origins of ways of behaviour, but there are both good and bad things there.