A one-night stand with someone of the same sex is something the couple needs to talk about. Again, professional help may be needed to help both spouses sort out what this means for gender identity and for the marriage. Send your questions by clicking on the Submit Question hyperlink. I think that when someone is tempted to have an affair, it's important to recognize that this is a sign there's an emotional problem that goes deeper than just the affair. Getting to what's going on underneath is the best way to resist an affair.
Affairs are often an escape from facing a problem.
My wife and I have just had a huge fight. She has been having cyber-sex, and now moved on to phone sex, with a mutual friend from a chat room. Another guy there is telling her that he loves her, and wants to meet her. She is not sure if she loves him or not. She tells me that she enjoys spending time with them, more than with me in person.