For love to happen, Passion, Intimacy and Commitment must be balanced on a foundation of Respect. Passion is shared intense interest. When we try to possess someone, we're out of balance. We can't get to intimacy without going through our vulnerabilities. To feel intimate, we must feel secure.
All relationships have pain.
When pain outweighs pleasure, reconsider. Tell the truth. Let go of the outcome. Show your children love by touching and holding them often. Teach your children how to love by touching and holding your loved ones often.