Say, I m sorry for yelling at you. Tell your children you love them, especially when they may be feeling angry and unlovable. Give you child choices when possible. Be sure to accept the decision. Think about how you ask a child to do a chore.
Children learn to ignore constant threats with no action.
Sometimes you can pick up a child and walk away from the scene to calm down. Sometimes you can put a toy on the top shelf of the closet for a time. Sometimes you can ask a child to take a timeout. Allow your child to experience the consequences of behavior. The purpose of consequences is to teach self discipline - not to punish the child.