We show honor by caring for our mother s physical needs, supplying her with food and drink, clothes and footwear, and assisting her coming in and going out of the house. This is particularly crucial when she becomes elderly or infirm. In other words, nothing should ever be said or done to undermine her position or status. Just as we are not commanded to love our mother, so too we are not commanded to obey our mother. As adults we no longer are living under their authority.
Adulthood means the right to make our own decisions about our life.
Nonetheless, a balance must be struck, even as we seek our own independence. We ought to listen to our mother s advice and wisdom with respect. If we disagree, we are free to ignore her words. But we are never free to undermine her dignity. The Talmud gives a wonderful example of this.