Bulls are precisely the kind of thing any right-thinking person would want to own. Bulls are useful, friendly, and easy to care for. Bears, on the other hand, are big scary bastards with loads of teeth. Bulls give us things like steak, leather, fertilizer, glue, hat racks and brush bristles. Bulls keep hundreds of toreadors in gainful employment and support the thriving international red rag market.
Bears shit in the woods.
People will gleefully buy and sell bulls for considerable sums at livestock auctions. Try getting any bugger to cough up even pocket change for a bear. Bear markets don't work because there's no market for bears. The Federal Reserve Bank should act immediately to cancel all future Bear Markets and turn all their attention to the Bull trade. No one wants Bears, so let's stop kidding ourselves and killing the economy by trying to sell them.