The first object of love and erotic attachment for girls and boys alike during infancy is the mother. But as children enter the phallic stage, their relationship to the mother diverges. In boys, the love for the mother becomes incestuous, leading to the Oedipal complex. This complex arises out of the young boy perceiving his father as a rival for the love of his mother, whom he wishes to possess sexually. The boy would like to replace his father but suffers 'castration anxiety' as he fears his father will discover his incestuous desire and castrate him as punishment.
Boys cope with their castration anxiety by repressing their sexual desire and hostile rivalry.
They begin to identify with the father instead, striving to be like him and thus possess the mother vicariously. The development story for girls unfolds differently, the high point being the phenomenon of 'penis envy'. Freud believed that the girl's discovery that she lacks a penis is the turning point in her psychological development. Although her mother is her first love object, she spurns this love when she discovers that her mother, like her, is castrated. The girl blames her mother for her lack of a penis and transfers her love to her father, who has the organ she and her deficient mother can never have.