A child who can think of five ways to get what he wants will generally display more socially acceptable behavior than the child who can think of only one or two ways. Some general steps in teaching problem-solving skills to children are presented here. Get the facts and the feelings. When children are upset, fighting, angry, or hurt, first find out the details. Spend some time focusing on feelings.
Children see things primarily from their own perspective.
They may be completely unaware of how their behavior affects other people, except when another person interferes with their needs. To negotiate solutions that are fair to everyone, children need to know how others feel. Help children see the goal. Generating ideas for solutions is much easier for children when they have a clear goal. Help children define the problem in terms of what both children want to happen.