Trying to hold a cat down when you wash him is a bit like playing naked Twister while covered in Crisco. The key is to always keep one hand on the scrawny little rodent, while using the other to slather on the shampoo. About now, your cat is plotting your death. Only less entertaining. I'm going to crap in your shoes as soon as you go to sleep.
Cats are spiteful creatures, folks.
Be prepared for severe repercussions.