Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your friends are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your trousers. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.