I think at one point I was Jack the Ripper. It's the only explanation I have for all of the bad karma I have accumulated. Anna Nicole Smith is a force of nature. Then, say you have a problem. A pretty serious one, like you can't make rent because you're out of work.
Aliens never hijack PhD candidates or politicians.
They always seem to gravitate towards the trailer park residents or farmers, which leads me to think that our first contact may be with interstellar rednecks. Sean Connery has the best gig in all of show business. Yes, I like Jerry Springer. It's like a nasty car wreck. You don't want to look, really you don't, but you just can't help yourself.