When a human or non-human primate infant is separated from its parent, the infant goes through a series of three stages of emotional reactions. First is protest , in which the infant cries and refuses to be consoled by others. Second is despair , in which the infant is sad and passive. Theorists have postulated several varieties of insecure attachment. Secure infants either seek proximity or contact or else greet the parent at a distance with a smile or wave.
Avoidant infants avoid the parent.
Attachment theory provides not only a framework for understanding emotional reactions in infants, but also a framework for understanding love, loneliness, and grief in adults. Secure adults find it relatively easy to get close to others and are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them. Secure adults don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to them. Avoidant adults are nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want them to be more intimate than they feel comfortable being. Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process.