You see, I believe in God's will. I believe that whatever you ask in prayer, if it is his will, it will be done. So when my appeal was filed, and then when it was heard in the Supreme Court, I prayed that, whatever happens, let his will be done. But maybe he would. Dying isn't a bad thing.
Death is nothing to fear.
It is something I look forward to. He is the only one who truly knows how hard every day is for me, the guilt and pain I feel, how I'd never find true peace. I know this is hard to understand but this is what I want. I am at peace. I am responsible for my babies' deaths and I am ready to accept and take responsibility for that.