But as I reflect on these letters and on many, many conversations over the years with hurting members or former members, four perspectives emerge sharply. Influence is a powerful element for good or for ill. The home, the congregation, the school, the workplace the people with whom we rub shoulders affect the course of our lives, and we theirs. Influence is never all that it might be for uplifting others. Our schools mess up.
Congregations mess up.
These are facts, and taken alone, they could lead us to the sour grapes conclusion. It s my mother s fault that I m like this. Or my dad s. They made me they way I am. They made me do it.