A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart. Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children. No wonder kids are confused today. The people hardest to convince that it's time for retirement are children at bedtime.