You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry, but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body.
Death seems pretty good right now.
Your boss doesn't even get mad at you, and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state-which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. The only thing you can do is smoke a bong hit and pass out. It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung Pao Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of rice krispie treats.