Perhaps you are not asking the right questions or have not yet learned to frame effectively your question so others can help you. It is surprising how unprepared we are for communicating via e-mail, mailing lists, and query boards. We forget that those reading our messages cannot see the file folders of information that we have at an arm's reach away. When we write to cousins via traditional postal services, we often include family group sheets, pedigree charts, and other pages that provide details. When writing online, this is not usually an option, especially in mailing lists where a message is going to many who may not be interested in our particular branch of the tree.
Clarity is imperative in online communication.
Keep these things in mind and you will discover that mailing lists, GenConnect boards, and e-mail exchanges will have more fruitful results. Certain pieces of information should be paramount in each query that you post. You should be able to estimate some sort of a time frame for any ancestor you're researching. If you can't, back up a generation and do more research on those ancestors. Spell out place names as your cousins in New Zealand might not be familiar with where Bugs Hollow, AR is located or what you mean by KC, John.