Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your friends are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your trousers. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.