And the skill of unconditional positive regard when my integrity was threatened. I could have used the skill of empathic listening to understand her position better. These two stories are foundational conflict stories for me. The issues come up over and over again. The roots are deep.
Differences are inevitable.
Incongruence is optional. I conclude with some special emphasis on the use of the skill of unconditional positive regard as an especially important skill in conflict transformation. There was a study done by Leadership 2000 that creativity requires that both hemispheres of the brain be engorged with blood. There is an old saying about hating the behavior and loving the person. What I am talking about assumes that the love for the person is not in question.