When boundaries are unconscious, sometimes the only way to discover them is by an inadvertent violation. If this occurs, it can trigger paranoia and a negative transference towards the therapist. When such a hypersensitive situation does occur, it is in the best interest of both parties to process their interaction and discover the etiology of the hypersensitivity to control. Fear of ruining primary relationships. The partner of a borderline may react to the BP's emotional chaos with anger and rejection.
Borderlines can push partners to the limits of their rage and reactivity.
Repetitive cycles of regressive behavioral patterns. The BP may make demands for intimate partners to satisfy a deep need and to alleviate the suffering for a lost, once loved parent. If these demands are excessive, it may cause distance and eventual rejection. To varying degrees, borderlines are able to be in a relationship while being partially or fully detached emotionally from the partner. An inability to be assertive in a healthy way.