Too much emphasis on either one's self or on the other will inhibit personal growth. Learning to cleanly express anger helps us both to assert ourselves, and clears the way for caring attention to the other. People are generally socialized to conceal their anger. While many people claim to conceal their anger out of concern for hurting others, the authors argue that they usually do so out of deeper fear of being rejected if they assert themselves. On the contrary, the honesty demonstrated in being true to one's self and one's feelings can help elicit trust from others.
Anger can be a key to identifying deeper fears and concerns.
Exploring anger can then lead to better self-understanding. Expressing clean anger in communication also creates vulnerability. Communication partners may want to agree on some ground rules for the expression of anger. People also need to learn how to receive and respond to cleanly expressed anger.