This is a collection of ways to show respect and affection to our partner. It is the antidote of criticism and contempt in a relationship. Successful couples find ways to accentuate the positive aspects of their partner. The positives far outweigh the negatives. Turning toward or turning away .
Couples have ways of bidding for one another's attention.
These bids may be answered positively or responded to with disinterest. For instance, when a partner begins to share how their day went, successful couples are attentive and do other things that show they are tuning in. Gottman's summary of research suggests that if we want to strengthen our marriage at its core we will build our friendship, which is fostered by a deep knowledge of our partner. I know what stresses my partner currently faces. I know the names of those who have been irritating my partner lately.