That s called unnecessary activity. It could take the form of obsessively daydreaming of true romance, or turning a tidbit of gossip into the six o clock news, or even going off by ourselves into the wilderness. The point is that in all these activities, we are seeking companionship in our usual, habitual way, using our same old repetitive ways of distancing ourselves from the demon loneliness. Relaxing with loneliness is a worthy occupation. As the Japanese poet Ryokan says, If you want to find the meaning, stop chasing after so many things.
Complete discipline is another component of cool loneliness.
Complete discipline means that at every opportunity, we re willing to come back, just gently come back to the present moment. This is loneliness as complete discipline. We re willing to sit still, just be there, alone. We are fundamentally alone, and there is nothing anywhere to hold on to. Moreover, this is not a problem.