Do whatever you can to avoid asking them to give up their loyalty and love for their other parent, either directly or indirectly. Tips to help your kids In explaining the separation and divorce, you and your ex-spouse should state explicitly that your relationship has no bearing on the relationship between each of you and the children. Reassure them that neither one of you will abandon them, and encourage them to discuss their fears with you. A divorce can be disruptive to your child's normal activities. Whether it's playing basketball or going to Brownies, encourage your child to resume his or her hobbies and activities as soon as possible.
Children often feel ashamed of their parents' divorce.
If you feel shame, your kids will probably feel it too, and then they'll worry about facing their friends. It's important to choose words with care and sensitivity. Give the children permission to express their feelings freely. Don't ignore their fear, sadness, guilt, or anger, or hope that those feelings will eventually fade on their own. It's also a good idea to share your feelings with your children too.