With both teens and preteens, you may find their search for their identities will lead them to spend more time with the noncustodial parent. Be flexible and let these young people have more say in how their time is spent. Conclusion Keep normal child development trends in mind to help you decide how to deal with problems that arise at various times. Many times concerns of stepfamilies are in fact normal sibling rivalries or normal steps which are common to all children. Listening to the youngsters and involving them in decisions which involve them should encourage cooperation and understanding.
Children can feel guilt at any age.
They think that if they had done something differently the family would still be together. Poor self-esteem may also be a concern. Children may also revert to younger behaviors during times of trauma, such as divorce, death, or remarriage. These should work themselves out in a couple of months. If not, you may want to look for other reasons, such as overindulgence, to make up for the loss, feelings of insecurity, or other pressures in their lives.