Kayla was a walking target. But, the way she saw it, she was just being picked on. This country is obsessed with bullies right now in the wake of several highly publicized school shootings, where the motive of some of the teen perpetrators may have been to get revenge on students who had bullied them. Bullies, who learn aggression at home, are a menace. But learning the coping skills that one needs to deal with aggressive kids is almost as important as reining in the bullies.
Children learn to deal with each other by seeing how their parents intereact with other adults.
A responsible adult doesn't pick a fight with an 8 year old, even if she has been tormenting your child. You talk to the child's parents and try to find a solution to the problem-which may be for the kids to stay away from each other. Nor is it helpful to yell at your child's principal in the hallway because you didn't get the desired response. I once wrote about a Brooklyn woman whose daughter received a bad grade from a teacher, a mistake as it turned out. But, instead of trying to find out what the problem was, the mother and daughter came to the school and beat up the teacher, putting her in the hospital.