That's because truly effective communication is a style that varies with the audience and the goal of the communication. Too many people fall back on rote communication behaviors that are often inappropriate to the situation, so the message is doomed from the start. Assertiveness training and fair fighting help you separate these three elements and promote honest communication on your part. And active listening can help you interpret the three different parts of someone else's communication so you can respond to the true message behind it. The consistent factors in enhancing all of your communication messages-be it on the job, with your spouse, or with your children are to be nonjudgmental and specific.
Communicating effectively is a learning process.
But keep in mind that when you speak,you have a partner at the other end of the communication with his or her own needs and goals. Effective communication takes two people. If both people are working to be more open and honest, it is more likely the relationship will improve. The Communications Skills Book, by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis and Patrick Fanning.