The first thing the two of you must work on is the creation of a nonpressured, relaxed and playful atmosphere in which there can be a sensual exchange without the pressure of becoming sexual. Sexual encounters should always be playful and should start as sensual exchanges in intimate touch and words of affection. A romantic atmosphere created with candlelit and soft music might help. Things should move at your pace and should end when you feel you can go no further. It would help if you sought the help of a qualified sex therapist if the sexual scene has become too negative.
Bad sex can devastate an otherwise good relationship.
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.