Often it's extremely hard to bring them to the United States, and more so, of course, when even the mother lacks immigration papers. So the kids stay behind, usually with the grandmother, and months or years go by between reunions. What this means is that the immigrant nanny, housekeeper or sirvienta is in the Catch-22 of having to leave her children in order to be a good mother. And pay that's generally pretty stingy, since she's supposed to be more interested in mothering than in unmotherly things such as wages, hours, raises or benefits. It's no wonder that domestic workers, parents and even their kids may spend much of their time feeling pretty uncomfortable.
Conflicts abound even in the most civilized arrangements.
Take the household that hired Catalina. A single mother, she was a bank secretary in Mexico until the 1994 peso devaluation. Linda and Tony have helped Catalina buy a car and encouraged her to take English classes at night. When Tony is home, he helps with cooking and cleaning. Unlike many domestic workers charged with child care, Catalina has free rein to discipline the kids when they misbehave.