You should spend no more time complaining about your life than it would take for you to discover the story of someone who has it much, much worse. When you develop a sense of humour about your gender, sexuality, race and beliefs, I'll develop one about mine. Our billions of ancestors, who lived their whole lives alongside death, disease and filth because they lacked the indescribable luxuries of flush toilets and running water, would undoubtedly be amazed to know that most people nowadays still can't even be bothered to flush the toilet or wash their hands. There are better things to spank than your kids. In fact, the real difference between men and boys is where they like to put their toys.
Birthdays are like poison cupcakes.
You can only have so many before you're dead. When an ad has to boast that what they're selling is legal, it's not. The black market for human organs is growing every day. Most people think they're excellent drivers. Most people also think they're fantastic in bed.