A 12 to 16 inch circular debugger made from grains, tomatoes, and certain milk products is what's going to save the day. But nerd does not live by pizza alone. Enlightened managers provide theater-type poppers and a limitless supply of gourmet corn and coconut oil. Competent managers buy microwaves and Orville Redenbacher's finest for the troops. Pathetic managers wimp out and claim fire regulations prohibit heating appliances in the workplace.
Classic means carpel tunnel syndrome for the turbo touch typist.
Those alternative keyboards are worth a look, even if they are absurdly priced. Boycott dumb meetings. The clean-up crew can vacuum at night. With the right physical SEE, you can create great code despite whatever methodology your company inflicts upon you. You may have to fight for it, but in the long run, your boss may even thank you for showing how to improve productivity and morale.