When under stress, dependent people generally seek out others, rather than withdraw. For unknown reasons, if a girl is dependent as a child, there is a tendency for her to remain consistently dependent from early childhood throughout adulthood. On the other hand, passivity and dependency in boys and men are not nearly so stable or predictable. Possibly, we are just more accepting of passivity in women and make fewer efforts to change them. Therapists have observed that a dependent personality often precedes a depressive reaction.
Dependent people manipulate others.
For instance, an effective way to get care and attention from our parents or loved ones is to make bad decisions, be indecisive or irresponsible, and get in trouble. Like an attention-starved child, some dependent people act as though it is better to get in trouble than to be neglected. Certainly, being compassionate is commendable, but compassion must strengthen the weak, not further weaken them. We all have needs to be babied and cared for, of course. But it is only in extreme cases where we constantly demand proof of love.