It works the same way as when you lose your money in a pop machine. You punch the button, you shake the machine, you holler at it, and when the pop still doesn't come out, it occurs to you to try something useful like call a serviceman. We parent the way we were parented. Few parents have the benefit of formal training. Also, children don't automatically know anything.
Adults have to model and patiently explain.
And they have to be patient with themselves, Baer said. Throughout my career, I've been struck by how much parents love their kids and how many of them succeed in raising happy, healthy children. No parent is perfect, whatever that means. No parent has to be perfect. A common emotion undermining parental confidence and effectiveness is guilt over inevitable mistakes.