I knew about parenting until I had children. I knew about divorce until I got one. I knew about suicide until three of my closest friends took their lives in the same year. I knew about the death of a child until my child died. I'm not as impressed with answers as I once was.
Answers seem to pallid, sucked dry of blood and void of life.
Knowing answers seduces us into making pronouncements. I still have a few friends or acquaintances who are 100 percent sure of most anything, and are ready to make pronouncements on homosexuality, AIDS, marriage problems, teen-age pregnancies, abortion, sex education or whatever is coming down the pike. But when we get shoved into our valley of the shadow, a pronouncement is the last thing we need. A friend wrote recently, I, too, get Maalox moments from all who know. I'm discovering that wisdom and adversity replace cocksure ignorance with thoughtful uncertainty.