The relationship between children and their parents in a divorce, once called custody , is now called parental rights and responsibilities . The word custody is usually used when describing people who have broken the law and are arrested, put into confinement, or placed in detention. Children in a divorce don't need to think that any of these things are happening to them because their parents are ending their relationship. The wording of the law has changed from custody to parental rights and responsibilities to emphasize the law's policy of protecting children. Children need to know that their parents each have the responsibility to take care of them financially and emotionally, to guide and parent them and to spend time with them no matter how angry the parents are with one another.
Children are often confused and anxious about their parents breaking up.
They are concerned about who is going to take care of them. They worry about both of their parents still loving them. They worry about the breakup being their fault. Spouses may divorce each other, but they do not divorce their children, and except in exceptional circumstances the spouses must maintain a relationship with each other as parents after the divorce. Unresolved conflicts between parents will continue to surface and are destructive to you and often more so to your children and other family members.