This, for instance, is why they precipitate their own abandonment. By bringing abandonment upon themselves - they feel that they control it. To the narcissist, lack of control is excruciating pain.
Control means alleviation, amelioration or even annihilation of pain.
Narcissists cannot face loss of control coupled with loss of a major source of supply. Through sexual union with their off spring they seek to merge with him or her and to transform him or her to be the narcissist's extension, thus never to abandon them. This is why they sometimes stalk their ex-spouses. They thrive on the dependence and neediness of their sources of supply. It is impossible to have a relationship with a narcissist that will be meaningful to the narcissist.