As I have said a number of times, I was extremely disappointed that you have persisted in foolishly choosing the oak as your state tree. I have detailed the reasons for this in my first letter, and at the moment I have neither the space nor the patience to review all five hundred and twelve justifications for my anger. Instead, I will stress only the highlights. There are millions of them along my banks, and I have to tell you that they are among the most ill-mannered of all the trees. Pine trees will give you a nod, or at least a little wave of a lower branch to let you know that they have seen you.
Cedars are lovely.
They are miscreants. They look at me with a superior expression, and to be honest, I don't think it's warranted in the least. I have enclosed a picture of what one of your largest cities, Davenport, would look like underwater. The rooster you see walking on the top of the water is actually the weathervane from the Davenport Municipal Savings Bank. The red, yellow, and green panels that appear to be floating are in fact the roofs of cars.