They know if a parent is trying to hide something, even if the purpose is to spare their feelings. Children need simple straight-forward answers they can understand, without blame or making anyone wrong or bad. Let your child know it is not their fault. All children assume they may be responsible for their parents' breakup. Children need to be gently reassured repeatedly over the first couple of years that the divorce is an adult decision having nothing to with them or their behavior.
Children have many questions, feelings, assumptions and concerns about divorce.
Children need to feel heard with quiet patience and undivided attention. Many children hide their feelings of sadness, grief, anger or confusion because they are afraid expressing these feelings will upset their parents. Children need to know all their feelings are acceptable. Let your child know it is normal for them to want their parents to get back together again. Children can feel ashamed about this very normal wish.