And if you really want to be careful, write your address with your secret decoder ring, available from the back of any comic book, right next to the x-ray glasses and all the other MLM programs. Then you have to put your name at the bottom of a list and shift the other names up by one, before you send your own stuff out. We'll explain it all. Just send us your money. Someone didn't, and as a result a guy in Venezuela died.
Chain letters have a way of doing that.
Overlook the fact that this requires 8 trillion e-mails. Rest assured, you'll be at the front of the line. Advertising on the Net is very inexpensive. Clog up the lines with all your e-mails, but don't ever be late with your customers. Fast service will guarantee that they will promptly send out their own whiny letters.