You writing seems to me very working-class in that regard. And I think that Grahn is probably hitting on something there. A lot of the most admired writing of our time has to do with a tremendous paucity of experience - an immense amount of style expended on a paucity of experience. I think that probably both she and I respond to that, viewing it in part as a class phenomenon. You have just compared your novels to houses that you build and then move out of.
Capitalism is a great assistance in that.
Since you sell you labor, in this case you sell the novel, it is literally bought by somebody else and belongs to them, so you had better cut your ties. Once the book goes into production, you must cut the ties. I went into a three day depression, because that is the point at which you really have to cut the umbilical cord. It is gone. It is theirs, it is not yours, and you can't even change it anymore.