If you pour a Beer right, you'll always get good head. A Beer always goes down easy. You can have more than one Beer in a night, and not feel guilty. You can share a Beer with your friends. You always know when you're the first one to pop a Beer.
Beer is always wet.
Beer doesn't demand equality. You can have a Beer in public. A Beer doesn't care when you come. A frigid Beer is a good Beer. If you change Beers, you don't have to pay alimony.