Abuse is a choice made by the abuser to control the behavior of another person.
The victim is not responsible for the abuse and should never be blamed. The best way to understand that abuse is a choice made by the abuser is to understand that batterers do not go around beating everyone up. They have enough control not to abuse their bosses, coworkers, friends, or the teller at the bank who makes them angry. Usually, their physical abuse is saved for their partners, the people they are supposed to love most in this world. There are several reasons why people are abusive.