Several books and a newspaper column later, he's got a Website with a search engine and a map of the United States where you can find just the kind of goofy, real-life stories that suit your fancy. The stories at this site will make it easy for you to forgive yourself for some of the dumb things you have done. I write for a newspaper. That means I am not supposed to use big words. That's OK with me.
Big words are pretentious.
That doesn't mean I won't use exactly the right word, even if it is not a commonly used word. Sometimes there is only one word to precisely express a thought. Neither has my spell checker but all of those words were used by writers of news stories this month. This site is loaded with hundreds of desktop themes, many of them quality rated. Themes radically change the look of the opening screen when you boot up your computer.