Sad as it is to accept, adoption can and does leave scars. Your experience probably hasn't been perfect, and a lot of things may have happened to cause you pain. It's okay to be satisfied, dissatisfied, or both, with your experiences. But you must confront your life and be honest about your feelings. Confront those feelings honestly and deal with them.
Denial stops the healing process.
Therapists are often useful when you're searching. They can help you deal with the confusing feelings you may experience. Seeing a therapist does not mean that you're sick, it just means that you are trying to take care of your emotional life and to learn more about yourself. Understanding will be a valuable asset when you meet your birthmother. As you go through your search, you are preparing yourself for your reunion.