While some people may be willing at a beginning social level to tolerate this, it cannot last long - it is too exhausting for the man and too painful for the woman. The man cannot be expected to position every part of the woman's body. Leading should not be tiring - it is only tiring when the follower isn't following. Leading is not pushing or pulling. It is communicating an intention.
Dancing is an art form, despite the fact that it requires the prowess of an athlete.
As you get better, all you really need to do is whisper. Equal sympathy goes to followers who encounter a leader who hasn't the foggiest of what he's trying to lead and can't move rhythmically to any music, doesn't know a slow from a quick and has no conception of what misery he is inflicting on his partner. Leading and following is a dynamic process that requires a great deal of effort on the part of both members of a partnership. Possible, though it is not within the powers of most men. If you want women to vie with each other for the opportunity of dancing with you, this is what you must learn to do.