Spend time with this imaginary safe place on a regular basis to strengthen your internal experience of safety. Explore your definition of external safety. Identify what helps you to feel safe with a sexual partner. When Trust Is an Issue Because sexual abuse is such a major violation of trust, many survivors have difficulty trusting their own perceptions and trusting other people. Without a minimum of trust, sex is scary, unsafe, and unenjoyable.
Different people require different amounts of trust in order to enjoy sex.
Some survivors require a great deal of trust, and must know the person they are going to have sex with a long time before they feel comfortable to have sex. Others do not require as much trust to enjoy themselves sexually. Developing internal trust means becoming aware of and respectful of your own feelings, physical sensations, intuition, thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions - or in other words, your own reality. They are your guides and can be relied upon. At the same, it's important to know the difference between what you have learned to be drawn to or are comfortable with because of its association with the abuse, and what is coming from a deeper, wiser place from within you.