Condoning diminishes the action. The religious call to forgiveness is not a call to be a sucker. If what was done hurt you, you need to say that, and not pretend it didn't hurt and it doesn't matter. At every point a person has a choice to forgive or not forgive for the right reasons. Conciliatory personalities tend to forgive too much, too quickly.
Aggressive personalities tend to forgive too little, too late.
We need to strike a balance. Yes, it is a lot easier to forgive when the person is trying to make up to you for all the lies he told you. Even then, it takes a long time for forgiveness to settle in. Because the hurt is still there. It can be done rather readily if there is determination to do so.