But none of us has the power to change someone else, and counseling won't change anyone who doesn't want to change. The reason to participate in counseling is for each to voluntarily change him or herself, even if it's only changing the way each one reacts to the other. Some couples wanted the counselor to make things the way they used to be, before they had marital strife. But going backwards won't work. What the couple once had didn't work, or they wouldn't be having problems.
Counseling is about negotiating a new deal, a new way to interact and make decisions.
Divorcing couples who never even attempt to work it out with the help of counseling make me sad. They're throwing their marriages away without even trying. All Rights Reserved.