Yes, you are at a crossroads and can choose from alternative routes. One road leads to self-pity, living in the past, nurturing bitterness and turning the children against your former marriage partner. This is a dead-end road which spells trouble for you and your children. The other road, and the constructive one, leads to becoming involved with experiences that provide opportunities for you to again feel success, to get to know yourself better, restore your self-confidence, reach out for goals that will make your life productive, satisfying and meaningful. The task of all parents, whether or not a marriage continues, is not easy.
All parents make mistakes.
But if you have a good relationship with your chidden and they feel your love and acceptance, they will soon forget your mistakes and remember only your goodness. As we have already indicated, the way you cope with your divorce will in large part determine how your children cope with it. Try to use the experience of divorce as an opportunity for personal growth not defeat. In this way you can continue to be effective as a parent and to not only effectively meet your children's needs, but just as important, your own needs as a person. Continuing conflict between you and your marriage partner during and after divorce can interfere with your effectiveness as a parent.