Then he divorced, his father died, and he rediscovered his mother. If I suggest to my wife that her son may not be as great as she thinks, she becomes extremely defensive of him. I have been counseling couples for over three decades. During that time period I suppose I have seen hundreds of couples. One thing I have repeatedly learned is that there are always two sides to every story.
Couples can go to the same movie theater and end up seeing different movies with the same title.
What I am going to say assumes that your wife would agree to the situation as you have described it. Apparently you are very attached to your wife. You have enjoyed her company for approximately forty years. Now her son comes into her life and she is enjoying a more intimate relationship with him. These events have brought him back to his mother.