In doing anything difficult in life, we have seen the power of support systems. Don't overlook this crucial component of success. There are all kinds of support groups - and surely there are organizations of people who do the same thing you do. No one needs to struggle on alone without some kind of help or support. If nothing else, you can be sure there's something on the web for you.
All human beings are social, to some extent.
We all need help and support and company and love and affection and someone to laugh with and comfort us when we're down. Even if that's an area that is not easy for you, don't eliminate the possibilities. See what's out there that you can use to help yourself. Put down all kinds of things that come into your mind - even if they don't seem practical at first. Ultimately you'll feel much better once you've actually written out a methodical plan of action you can follow.