At some stage the child in your care will probably compare you unfavourably with their own parents. You need to be aware of the emotions the child is likely to experience. If this happens, try not to feel anxious. Try to understand why children have the need to express some feelings through fantasies or 'wishful thinking'. Let them work through their feelings at their own pace.
Children usually have intense feelings about their families and about being placed in care.
They find it much easier to express disturbing and confusing feelings in their behaviour rather than words. Children often appear to settle happily in the first stage of placement but behaviour is likely to change as the child feels safe enough to express disturbing emotions. This is when it is most important for carers to 'hang in there' and help the child to work through the difficult times, so they can move into a more secure level of adjustment. If ongoing contact visits are not possible, children will need knowledge about their family to maintain their self esteem, sense of belonging and sense of continuity. It is vital for children in care to have their parents play a continuing role in their lives.