If a person has led a long, full life, the pain of their passing is eased, the reasoning goes. Sometimes that is true. An elderly widow may be stronger for having mourned and prayed through other losses with her late husband. But Alexis Stein, a counselor who specializes in grief, warns against trying to judge how much grief any death deserves. The loss of a friend, a sibling, even a beloved family pet can generate deep mourning.
Death can devastate survivors even when the loved one was very old and very ill.
And while some older people gain strength from dealing with repeated losses, others feel battered. The elderly approach the challenges of later life with the resources they've built up throughout their lives. Personality, ethnic traditions, gender roles and religious beliefs all shape the way a person handles the passing of family and friends. Most experts say a person's religious beliefs can be the strongest aid in a time of grief. But for the last 10 years, as Bill Stewart had struggled with heart problems, Jean Stewart had felt he was preparing to leave.