No wonder that I envy those who seem to be as comfortable with church as a fish in water. Two factors, however, perpetuate my alienation. The first, of course is the critical mode of operation demanded by academic studies. Critical thinking is not something I simply switch off on Sunday and re-engage on Monday. The other factor is time, or lack of it.
Community takes time.
Few involved in serious academic pursuit can invest that kind of leisure in religious community life. And so my pursuit of higher education has become, for me, a pursuit of alienation. It is a pursuit that exacts costs and demands risks, especially from friends and family. Perhaps I might yet master the art of equal footing or acquire the ability to serve both academia and church. My hunch is I will not.