Victims quickly accept an apology and the offenders do not experience much guilt and might repeat the offense. The next four stages the author adapts from Lewis B. Smedes' book, Forgive and Forget . The second stage is hurting. The victims acknowledge the offense and feel the pain. The victims will easily agree to meet with offenders during the mediation session, but only because they feel that an apology will bring a release from the emotional distress.
Anger is the next step on the way to forgiveness.
The victims realize the harm that the offense imposed upon them. The intervenor should understand the destructive force of the victims' anger against the offenders, but encourage the anger against the offense. They will ask for some kind of compensation and will want a promise that the event will not happen again. This is the stage where the offense does not control their behavior any longer and they might grant their forgiveness conscientiously. This is the best time for mediation.