When your beer goes flat, you toss it. Beer is never late. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you have a beer the bottle is still worth 10 cents. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down easy.