With some luck and good health, most of us move through these stages over the course of about 75 years. Making the transition from one stage to the next is not always easy and in many cases may be quite disruptive to the parent-child relationship. This can be especially true during the college years when a son or daughter, making the transition from late adolescence to young adulthood, is perhaps for the first time given the all-important task of making many personal decisions for himself or herself.
College is understood in our culture as a place where one becomes better educated.
The basic idea is that this education will aid the person in living a fuller and more fulfilling adult life. It is a common misconception, a mistaken belief, that students must turn away from their parents if they are to have a chance at becoming independent and responsible adults. In truth, it is not a time for turning away but instead should be a time when students turn to parents, mentors, adults they respect, and peers to assist them in examining their beliefs, values, strengths, and developmental needs and assist them in preparing for the future. Likewise, parents, mentors, and other adults must listen more and control less. Parents, in particular, must listen, be patient, attempt to understand, gently offer suggestions or wisdom, and allow their son or daughter to become their own person.