The reason that many of us skip this step is because we believe that if we state what we heard the person say, then we have agreed with them. Providing feedback simply communicates that I respect you and am showing that respect by trying hard to understand your point, even if I do disagree with it . There is nothing as powerful as being understood by another person, especially when it involves something important and entails an emotional content. The above statements are ways to make that happen. Learning how to communicate assertively allows you the freedom to know that you have a right to speak and be heard in most situations and the confidence to know that you can present yourself in such a fashion that people will want to hear you.
Assertive communication is difficult to teach in a short paragraph.
Demonstrate an assuring manner, communicating caring and strength To the extent possible, remain as relaxed as you can. I feel very angry about the scene we made and I would like very much for us to work things out. It also gets you out of the habit of blaming others, a sure recipe for defensiveness from the listener. An assertive speaker also recognizes that there is someone else with whom you are having the conversation. Recognizing their side and their concerns shows respect and usually results in reciprocal behavior.