But he did. And so last week Kerrey found himself talking again, this time in a calculated effort to tell his version of the story before Vistica's investigation appeared this week in a bylined article in the New York Times Magazine and on a segment of 60 Minutes II, for which Vistica received a producer's credit. These reports take a condemning view of the raid, strongly suggesting that Kerrey is wrong when he says the civilian deaths were the tragic consequence of the fog of war, and that the former squad mate, Gerhard Klann, is right when he says the killings were a deliberate execution. Now Kerrey faces a whole army of reporters seeking to cut through the shifting memories to get to the truth of what he did that night. We may never find it.
Decisions made under fire look different in hindsight.
The trauma of the moment can leave permanent gaps and contradictions in testimony. Later Friday, they all dined at Kerrey's house and talked the raid over for the very first time. Kerrey never mentioned the medal in his official bio. As he acknowledged last week, there was nothing heroic about what really happened. Our experience of Vietnam is shaped by what we let ourselves say.