Rather than admit we were erroneously projecting our needs on this ordinary mortal, we may tend to think that they deceived us. Projective love is especially characteristic of young or immature persons who are not yet secure in who they are and comfortable about projecting a true image of themselves. In the early stages of romantic attraction, some projection almost always occurs. Its best to maintain some skepticism about one's feelings, and focus very hard on being honest and natural, resisting the temptation to project an unreal image of oneself or to see the other in an idealized way. This is the friendship, deep attachment and commitment to another person that grows with time.
Companionate love is realistic about the qualities of the other person.
Unlike projective love, companionate love works best when the individuals involved have a lot in common and feel adequate in their own right. Rather than being possessive, companionate love gives both parties space to develop as individuals. Each respects the other and wants the other to be happy. It is quite realistic about the characteristics of the other, quite good humored about them, and not so easily threatened by problems in the relationship. In companionate love, persons are themselves and put a premium on being natural rather than putting on a good show for the other.