This book has transformed thinking about gender and communication. Her work is based on a systematic evaluation of inter and intra gender conversations. She attempts to separate the metamessage from the message . Individual in hierarchical social order. Either one up or one down.
Conversations are negotiations intended to achieve and maintain upper hand.
Life is a contest to preserve independence and avoid failure. Individual in a network of connections. Conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmations and support and to reach consensus. Try to protect from attempts to push away. Preserve intimacy and avoid isolation.