Some styles of authority cripple a life, and other kinds build a life. Most of us need to. Divided authority damages kids. When Mom and Dad continually send conflicting signals, children find authority confusing. For parental authority to be respected, it must have one voice.
Different drumbeats breed a rebel, first confused, ultimately cynical.
It is more important for parents to be united on an issue than to be right . A second crippling approach is authority that is hypocritical. Mary told me that loud and clear when I talked to her about her self-destructive drug use. She was a teenager in a club program I ran, and she did not seem to care what she was doing to herself. A mother who escaped into alcohol had lost her right to tell her daughter not to escape into drugs.