This is not meant to malign foster parents in any way, but only to indicate the need to provide more continuous and long-lasting support for former foster youth who may be the least likely, among all our children, to be able to make sense of this world at age 18. Another finding that readers of this poignant article should understand is that the majority of former foster youth in mine and other available studies report that they were unhappy with some of the details of life in foster care but they were grateful to have received the opportunity to escape the degrading lives they had been living. How can we avoid further neglecting youth who have already suffered so much. Reunification with biological parents at an early age is one key. Many families are too embedded in antisocial lifestyles to effectively use child welfare services and a few simply never get enough services to achieve meaningful change.
Adoption is a second alternative that allows youth to know who they can rely on for a lifetime.
My own research following adopted children from the 1970s, indicates that parents who adopt older foster children often struggle with issues of closeness and discipline during the adolescent years but have good outcomes and close ties when the children reach their twenties. North Carolina has an opportunity to improve their independent living programs. These funds can allow some youth to stay in their foster homes well after age 18, can boost the supply of supportive apartment living for former foster youth, and can allow services to foster youth to begin earlier and be more complete. Yet, the funds alone are not enough. Helping abused and neglected children requires patience and support from individuals in the communities in which they live.