Beer doesn't go crazy once a month. Beer always listens and never argues. Beer labels don't go out of style every year. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles. Beer doesn't demand legality.
Beer is never overweight.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. Beer won't run off with your credit cards. Beer doesn't have a lawyer. Beer doesn't need much closet space. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.