Although there is a natural impulse to feel guilty, punishing yourself for a child's anorexia solves nothing and is detrimental to your health. It's like two people with normal eyesight torturing themselves for having a blind baby. I was furious with my anorexic mother for years after her death. I blamed her for many of my personal difficulties. But eventually, I realized that it's more important to look to the future than dwell on the past.
Blame is easy.
Taking practical steps toward health is tough but ultimately rewarding. Maintain normal eating patterns. Do not let the anorexic shop or cook for the family. Although such nurturing behavior seems altruistic, it allows her to deny her own need for food. Set firm but reasonable limits.