If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. When you pop a top off a beer, it won't call the cops. After you have a Beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle. A Beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids. Beer always listens and never argues. Beer is never overweight. Beer does tell You to loose the beerbelly. Beer won't run off with your credit cards.