Also, I feel guilty about spending time on stuff that's just for me. But ironically, I don't feel guilty about watching television or reading for hours. Push Me, Please Dear Push, It's only human to be ambitious and conceive large and noble projects that languish for a while and then die a quiet death on the shelf. The landfills of America are full of unfinished cross-stitch kits and scrapbooks. The country survives without them.
Civilization marches on.
Don't punish yourself over this. There's a natural selection process going on here, whereby you lay out what you believe you should be doing and then you do what you really want to do. You're motivated just fine. I, Once one moves past the infantile gratification stage of life, one gradually learns to accept a measure of pain and unhappiness as the price of progress and eventually one learns that unhappiness is a fundamental part of life. Suffering is unavoidable.