The attached poem is the product of my questing to understand myself. On your site I have not encountered quite the same scenario as I have experienced. The physical abuse stopped in 1990. The control became more covert, weighing heavily in the sexual forum. Not terribly unusual, especially if he figured out that physical abuse, for whatever reason, wasn't working for him or he couldn't get away with it for much longer.
Abuse is abuse, despite what form the control takes.
The undermining of my circle of friends encouraged me to relocate to facilitate a change for the family. I have found a fantastic support group in my present circle of friends. Some of them are receiving a crash course in domestic violence and it's far reaching affects, including codependency. Most of all, I am learning to feel again. Shutting down is your only defense mechanism if you see no way out, as I did for too long.