Without any claim as a psychic, I will tell you one more thing about yourself. You have a poor relationship to your husband. You do not enjoy him, and you do not allow him to enjoy you. That's a clear statement that the cause of his condition is not just in the past. Your poor attitude toward him is ongoing.
Children are great psychologists.
They can feel our pleasure or our criticism. They respond quickly to the signals our souls emit. We cannot hide our feelings. You see the disease in your son and would take steps to cure it. But a family is similar to an organism.