Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't. Beer doesn't care how much you earn. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
Beer never complains about a wet spot.
You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight. Beer won't leave hairs in your mouth 54. You can Recap a Beer 55. A beer will always be there when you get home 56. A beer is best when it is frigid.