It is your fault, and I can't forgive you. This is a major block in our recovery. Many times people we have harmed are those we blame for hurting us, and we justify our reaction to them by blaming them for our hurt. Recovery starts again when we rid ourselves of blaming others for our hurt. It is the truth without blaming others for our feelings.
All dysfunctional behavior is caused by insecurity.
For this reason, many people believe the biggest cause of addiction is child abuse. Looking outside creates insecurity, which leads to dysfunctional behavior and addiction. We must stop blaming and shaming others and ourselves. The problem is not the addiction. The addiction is the symptom of wrong thinking.