This is ridiculous. You see, we think too much as it is, so throwing something else into the conundrum that is the female mind may not be the best thing for hooking up. The happy medium to No.s 1 and 2 is having fun. It's like having a good time on the rest of a date, but you're naked. If you find yourself truly enjoying the hook-up with out trying too hard, you're a winner.
Communication is so key.
I know how banal that is, but it's true. If you stay somewhat vocal, it will be much easier to tell the person you're hooking up with what feels good and what doesn't. Don't underestimate the power of vocal feedback. The girl you're with may be squirming, but it might be with pain rather than pleasure. Look for a good mix of talking and listening, but be prepared to adjust to the woman's taste.