The pain we feel when we begin to see our own faults is often greater than the anguish of knowing that others have harmed us. I wondered if you have taken the time to explore ways to rebuild your world with positive thinking and healing. It sounds like you both have differing lifestyles and ways of approaching resolution. You are Felix and she is Oscar. I suggest you work on becoming friends once more.
Closure is essential in all things.
It is the bridge between healing and new beginnings. Take the time to learn new ways of communicating with your former spouse. Let her know that you are willing to be patient and understanding. See both sides of the story. Instead, accept her limitations and learn to love her as she is.