By having an understanding of the process involved in grief, loss and change, and having information about the resources available to us, we can make informed choices, assist our families and friends in making better choices and improve the quality of our lives. Shock, denial and the need to be alone are normal, biological, systemic reactions to trauma and pain None of us who have experienced life with someone who has this disorder can say we have not been traumatized and hurt. Those with this disorder seem to have an innate ability to find all our vulnerabilities and use them to hurt and wound us. Denial is a means to refuse to accept the reality of the traumatic event, illness or death. Denial becomes a buffer, a breathing space, to accept the alteration to our personal reality that the loss creates for us.
Anger is a feeling.
All our feelings and emotions are given to us by our Creator. In and of themselves, they are not good or bad. They just are. When we have been living with someone with this disorder, we may have found ourselves hiding our feelings behind various masks, or pretending that we are not hurt, wounded, lost, in pain, sad, angry, or a thousand other combinations of feelings. When we first leave the relationship whether our choice or our partners, we may find ourselves experiencing all the feelings we have hidden away or repressed.