Now then, this column is devoted to answering questions for you Humans. For instance, you have absolutely no clue why your pet refuses to do stupid tricks for David Letterman. Or cowers under the bed during thunderstorms. Or expects praise for the bloody dead thing it dumped at your feet. Fortunately, I have ALL the answers.
Cats have opinions about everything.
And we should. We are superior creatures and can trace our lineage all the way to the gods. I shall proceed to your questions now. If they're stupid, you can trust I will tell you so. Cats are, by nature, loving creatures, but brutally honest.