You will get through this. We are all here for you and you are in my prayers. I am still considering antidepressants. For now I use an anti anxiety drug called tranxene. It dulls the heartache so I can function on bad days.
Counseling works wonders.
Anyone at your church may be able to help. Hurting, I concur with everything that everyone has said here. If you truly feel like you need some help, then call today, and see if you can get in. It was really hard for me when this all hit. Because I was the glue that held the family together, everything falls on you.