Everybody else is also far from perfect. We are perfectly imperfect human beings who often behave in imperfect ways. If Yolanda behaves disrespectfully towards others, her own self-esteem will suffer. That is her problem. If J were to notice and subsequently stop all overt and covert mistreatment, he would be taking care of himself.
Body language counts.
If disrespectful treatment is not permitted, the offender tends to gain respect. At least for a while. Other times, or by the 2nd or 3rd round, the victim may need to ignore the empty promises and walk away from the relationship. Try to see this angry period as temporary. Give yourself some slack.