Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the pub hugging them one by one. Beer tastes off. Send it back.
Beer comes back tasting same.
Fight nausea by trying to play poker machine for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign. Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down by barmen's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Impale head on corner of table.