All The News That Isn't Read on for this week's monologue, or check out this year's archive . The man who claimed to have written evidence of a JFK-Marilyn Monroe affair has been indicted. Probably pro bono. Arkansas executes a killer on the victim's birthday and lets it be known that Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Passover and Christmas are still available. A study concludes that walking does not speed up childbirth, although walking away solves the whole problem in advance.
Amish kids are in drug trouble in Pennsylvania.
Eventually, it's going to dawn on the kids that they live just outside of Intercourse, PA, too. Look for Geoffrey the Giraffe on the 1040. Linda Tripp returns for her fourth day before the Grand Jury in Washington, where the tapes she secretly recorded the first three days are played. The Russians will receive five billion in International Monetary Aid plus three billion more if they have Dow implants. And that's All the News That Isn't . . .