A cat's friend is more likely to be less annoying. Cats won't leave a ring in your bathtub. Cats won't leave you waiting by the phone. A cat may disappear for a few days, but at least it won't come back smelling like cheap perfume. When you leave a cat alone in the house, you know it won't invite friends over for beer and pretzels.
Cats know what kindness is.
Cats don't even try to open a bag of flour. Cats aren't so cowardly that they have to write their nasty-grams from a public workstation anonymously. Cats don't belch complete sentences. Cats won't squeeze the middle of a toothpaste tube, or forget to put the cap back on. Cats won't put toilet paper on the roller facing up.