It was beautifully written and the shifting between the times is great. I have no desire to shred this piece. If you could have seen me writing this, you'd have thought me a blubbering fool. I just cried in front the the computer screen for quite a while. It's a personal piece, but I know I'm too close to the subject matter to be objective.
Any suggestions are welcome.
I enjoyed reading it. My objectivity is not my strong point. I have a bit of trouble seeing through fogged up glasses when I am trying to write. I guess I would suggest more conversation, too. I like the reference to the Psalm.