For twenty plus years, I worked in the educational branch of the Texas prison system. Your students have the same questions and the same feeling because you are a pivotal person in their lives. Another lesson I learned while working with inmates is they prefer consistent behavior over pleasant behavior. What drove them crazy was to have a guard treat them like a human being one minute then like the scum of the earth the next. What your students crave is consistency in the way you treat them.
Awareness is the first step toward change, and feedback is the first step toward awareness.
Ask for feedback from students and peers to sharpen your own awareness of your own behavior. If you determine you need to develop consistency in your treatment of others, start by asking whether you want to be pleasant or unpleasant. That's the fourth time I've said that.