In the future, the doors to all toilets will be equipped with computer linked voice recognition devices, which can only be activated to open at the sound of a person's voice. On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued 22 toilet trip credits. Once toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet will not unlock to your voice until first day of next month.
All cubicles are to be equipped with timed roll extractors.
If stall occupied more than 3 minutes, alarm will sound. Paper will retract into dispenser 30 seconds later and toilet will flush and door will open. Anyone caught smiling will undergo counselling. You just add a little water, and you have fresh 'orange juice'. He goes to a chain saw shop and asks about various chain saws.