A Sourcebook of Decisions like these have to do with both what is practiced in your family's culture and also your particular child's level of development and temperament. It is important, in considering what to do, to take into account a five year old's capacity to understand death. Think about your child's level of understanding. She may be able to understand that the person isn't going to be here any more, but she will probably have a much harder time imaging why that might be the case. A common explanation young children come up with is that the dead person does exist somewhere else, like in heaven, in the cemetery, or somewhere far away you could reach by airplane.
Children learn important things from witnessing the death and grieving process.
What impacts young children most pay when someone dies is the behavior and feelings of the people around them. It is from these responses that children come to understand that death is very important, sad and significantly different from most other events in life. Knowing that children are learning from us during this process can be a motivating force for us to get the support necessary to go through the grief process in healthy ways. It may be helpful for children to see adults cry. It can be overwhelming for children, however, if adults do all of their grieving in front of their children.