In the process of recovering from an addiction, grief emerges in reaction to the intense changes taking place in an individual and in a family as the addiction problem is addressed. Understanding and accepting this process of grieving helps recovery to be less of a mystery. Before exploring the grief process itself, it might be helpful to identify the some of the losses that may be brought forth. They are going to miss the distraction, relaxation, intensity and high the behavior or substance offered to them. The addict is going to miss their easy way to escape difficult feelings and experiences and will in fact be overwhelmed at times by all they are now having to experience without a buffer.
Addicts come to miss the rituals surrounding their acting out behaviors.
The places, patterns and secret activities of their substance or behavior addiction were built into their life just as solidly as a job or home and changing these is difficult and sometimes painful. The addict often loses relationships that were maintained with people they involved in their acting out or using. For some whole social groups and specific activities like happy hour , being online or sensual massages have to be given up in the name of avoiding a return to the addiction. Living an addictive life involves avoiding accountability and responsibility to people and activities that might interfere with the freedom to use substances or act out with sex, gambling etc. The life or a recovering person involves a great deal of being accountable, checking out decisions and actions with other people as well as meeting all commitments and responsibilities.