Buy a new car and you too shall find happiness and contentment my sluggish friend. You men, take note that a new car is indeed a reliable extension of that eternal source of worry - namely the male member penis. Moist women will flop conveniently upon your lap as long as you are stationed at the wheel of a nice new automobile. And you women, if you get yourself a speedy new motor, then rest assured that equality of the sexes is upon us for you too can race around town and exercise all of your inviolable rights to be forcefully free and active. Cars emancipate the human soul.
Cars really are powerful.
And big and fast. Take control of your life. Feel like a racing driver. Buy a new automobile. Human history was always coming to this moment, a moment when enlightenment and a perfect state of peace and happiness could be had simply by buying a prestigious new car.