I got the biggest, cushiest gel woman's seat. It doesn't necessarily have to be woman's seat, but there are different widths of seats that work better for different people. The really, really narrow extra-light racing seat may not be the best thing for women, because you're sitting on exactly the wrong spot. Some women like the seats with the carved out section in the middle, but it's really experimentation. I've never been one for much distinction between what I'm riding versus the men.
Clothing definitely fits different for women, in terms of the waist height and things like that.
A lot of people who may want to get into cycle racing are scared off because they think they need an expensive bike. I can't put a dollar figure on it, but all I can say is that the equipment is probably not going to be the most important thing when you start. Even a fairly inexpensive bike is probably going to be more than you can handle, until you know how to use it. That's great if you can afford it. But you really just need a basic bike.