They don't realize the depth of our pain and the difficulty we have in regaining all that has been stolen form us. We often behave in an unflattering needy way for a while until we stabilize and get our bearings. We have suffered trauma unlike anything we will ever have to go through. They do owe us something remarkable after what they have put us through, after changing our lives forever. If they are truly remorseful and sincere, it is our obligation to graciously accept their apologies, forgive them, refrain from 'beating them up' verbally with their wrongdoings, and move forward best we can.
Counseling is a good launching pad to facilitate a speedier recovery.
If your spouse is willing to go through the discomfort of having to face the demons with counseling in an effort to restore the marriage and demonstrate his desire to help you heal, it will be painful and uncomfortable for him, and for you, but putting it all out on the table and dealing with it all at once is like ripping a bandage off the wound quickly. It may sting for a moment, but the healing beings immediately. The Lessons Children Learn. How the Co-dependency Movement Is Ruining Marriages. How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor.