This is a process that goes on daily, even hourly. Unfortunately, it does not go on in a vacuum. When children are part of the picture, the utmost in love is called for on the part of both parents. Neither parent can allow his or her own needs or manipulative agendas to impinge upon the children's need for a loving, stable family environment. The parents must present a consistent united front in dealing with the children, particularly in matters of discipline.
Children learn soon enough how to exploit parental disunity to play off one against the other.
In the context of crossdressing, the parents must first go through their own process of accommodation before considering telling the children. If Dad's crossdressing is presented as something not that uncommon, as not a moral shortcoming but a gift, as a matter of freedom of expression and full personality development, and above all, as not threatening to the parents' marriage nor to the children's own lives and relationships, acceptance is far more likely. Parents must remember they are parents. They have together conceived children whose needs must take precedence until they reach adulthood. This is not an optional commitment.