In general, incidents of domestic violence have been found to increase in severity when a victim leaves. Leaving an abusive situation requires resources such as money, housing, transportation, and support structures, all of which may have been eroded by life with an abuser. Victims provoke the violence done to them. It perpetuates the false idea that victims are responsible for the violence done to them, that victims cause batterers to be violent. In reality, whatever the situation that precedes abusive behavior, there is always an alternative, non-violent way of responding.
Abuse is the sole responsibility of the violent person.
If a person who batters is also on drugs or alcohol, that person has two serious, separate problems. One does not excuse the other. Similarly, a person who has been a victim of child abuse, hate crimes, or other trauma in his or her life is not relieved of the responsibility for his or her abusive conduct. Domestic violence primarily occurs among LGBT people who hang out at bars, are poor or are people of color. Racist and classist stereotypes around domestic violence are common not just in the LGBT community, but also in the dominant heterosexual culture.