Books for helping children cope with divorce are in the next section. Besides, lawyers are costly and courts aren't always thorough. The children must be reassured that they aren't being divorced. They have a birthright to two parents, their time, love, and resources. The most vital decisions in a divorce are about how to continue and enrich each parent-child relationship, not who gets the house and pays the bills.
Child custody is an enormous problem.
Yet, not all joint custody arrangements have worked out well. The decision must be based on what is best for the children, not on a parent' s emotional needs. We need more study of these matters. Another point here is that during a divorce, the mother and father frequently get lots of attention and support from family and friends, but the children are often neglected. As a society, we must find ways to keep the parent-child relationships strong, in spite of the animosity between the parents.