As a result, members in these families have difficulties confronting ambivalence, or dealing with paradox. At the fourth level are Adequate families in which there exists more intimacy, flexibility and openness to individuality. Within Optimal Families power is in the hands of the parents who have an egalitarian coalition and children are able to be heard fully and influence decisions. Conflicts are usually resolved through negotiation and dialogue, with very little overt power struggles. When fearful, members seek closeness and support rather than control.
Control is only occasionally authoritarian.
Intimacy, the sharing of one's true self, is supported by the presence of trust and empathy. Members of these families show both a capacity and respect for autonomy and people can make mistakes and change their minds without blame. Flexibility is the norm. Family members relate with openness, warmth, and empathy. Unlike midrange families, people are often accepted in their differences, and understood to be struggling to do right rather than as inherently hostile or destructive.