When children are part of a family team overcoming real obstacles, they know they are needed. Their contributions are essential, so they are essential. To struggle together and win together is the wedding of souls. Be what you want your children to be. More is caught than taught.
Children read actions better than words.
They are imitators, taking on the likeness of the ones they most admire. If you cannot walk your talk, don't expect them to. When the older child develops bad habits, the younger children will follow his example and probably take it a step further in the wrong direction. Likewise, if you get that first child in control, you have a good example for other children who come behind. Crisis management .