It is therefore very important that you take the time to get to know that man VERY well. If any red flags go up, such as being over possessive, controlling, or if he cannot control a violent behavior - this is NOT the man of your dreams. It would be far better to experience some pain and disappointment now than a lot of pain and heartache later. Then the whole assembly sent an offer of peace to the Benjamites at the rock of Rimmon. Parents seek it.
Diplomats pursue it.
As far as Israel was concerned, the Benjamites had paid for the sin in their tribe. They now gather together to send an offer of peace to them. They could have held a grudge and turned the land flowing with milk and honey into the land flowing with blood and hatred. They chose rather to pursue peace with their brethren. Their grief became greater than their anger.