This fear may make it difficult for the child to form a bond with his or her new family members. Children may worry that their new stepparent may not like them and may reject them. Then when a remarriage takes place and the parent shares his or her love and attention with new stepfamily members, a child's fear of abandonment can become even more intense. Parents and stepparents need to assure children of their love and show continued caring. It will take time for children to find their place in the new family, feel secure, and realize there is enough love to go around.
Children have a strong desire to belong.
Their security, or lack of it, depends upon their feeling of acceptance and having a place within the family. From infancy, a child works to establish his or her place in the home. The changes brought about by their parent's divorce or death upsets that security. Children form views, opinions and behaviors that reflect their family's outlook. They absorb their family's values, beliefs, and convictions and try to fit within the family pattern.