Forced to give up. Then a friend suggested I ring the Domestic Violence center near us and ask them for counselors they would recommend. I hit gold and found a wonderful counselor who identified the problems straight away. I would like people to know that it won't happen overnight. Indeed, things got worse.
Denial is a dreadful thing.
So he decided he needed to go alone. I went alone also. And again, things do not change overnight. Reading books on anger, co-dependency, abuse, boundaries are essential. Perceptions get altered, inner awareness grows.