Sometimes these situations allow parents to truly model faith for their children and teach them important spiritual lessons that couldn't be learned any other way. Suffering becomes unethical, according to Foyle, if the family platform is inadequate. If the family is healthy and adequate, children have a basis from which to handle suffering and trauma. If you add on the pain and trauma of daily life it becomes too much for them. It's a cumulative thing.
All stress is cumulative.
We can cope and cope and cope, but there comes a last straw. If the family's platform is adequate, it gives children a greater ability to cope. When horses race, they sometimes get confused by the horses coming up on either side of them. The solution is to put them into blinkers so they can't look to the side, but only straight ahead. Unfortunately, parents sometimes put on unhealthy blinkers and they see only the work.