The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You lick your coffeepot clean. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
Cocaine is a downer.
You don't need a hammer to pound nails. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.