No one deserves this treatment. Nothing you have ever done justifies physical, verbal, sexual, or emotional abuse. Women and men can be verbal abusers. Sandy has no right to do that. That sounds so sweet, yet ts is both a disguised criticism and a threat.
All abuse takes a toll on self-esteem.
The abused person starts feeling helpless and possibly even hopeless. Many men are obviously verbally cruel and abusive. Others are more subtle. Although verbal abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to your self-image. Verbal abuse is cruel and scars your soul.