Ongoing discussions with students have revealed that many students find it hard to be open, honest and clear about sexual matters. You know best whether you are a person who can tell others what you want and be assertive, or whether you are the kind of person who tends to go along with others, agendas. If it is hard for you to speak up for yourself, don't get discouraged. There are many ways to learn the skill of good communication. Consider an assertiveness workshop at UIC,s Counseling Services , or consult one of the many self help books available at UIC Wellness Center or any bookstore.
Communication is a two-way street.
Not only do you need to speak your mind, you must be open to hearing what others tell you about what they want. Recall that if people are intoxicated or otherwise impaired, you will likely be more uncertain whether what they say is influenced by their state and thus unsure if they are able to accurately communicate their limits. If there is any question what others want, wait until they sober up. We don,t want to embarrass ourselves or the other person. But this desire to be socially nice can lead one be victimized.