A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer. A beer goes down easy. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. You can share a beer with your friends. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
Beer is always wet.
Beer doesn't demand equality. You can have a beer in public. A beer doesn't care when you come. A frigid beer is a good beer. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.