The cancer coming back the third time, for me, has put my faith in a much higher position than ever before, because I'm scared, I needed something to fall on to. All of a sudden it hits you. You really do have metastatic cancer. It's really hard to cope with at times. Especially at night when you're by yourself and you have a lot of time to think.
Cancer is there and all of the subsequent fears and realities are just below the surface, rippling.
And when you're metastatic, you just never know when they're gonna bubble up. You have to definitely be focused on things. There are a lot of people who can pull you out of your isolation if you choose to move from it. I think like any wounded animal you lick your wounds privately until you're well enough to come out. I think it's a rare person who doesn't have the ability to come back to the real world once they've assimilated the most hideous information of their life.