Why a cucumber is better than a man. The average cucumber is at least six inches long. Cucumbers stay hard for a week. A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't count.
Cucumbers never get too excited.
You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket - and you know how firm it is before you take it home. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. You can go to a movie with a cucumber - and see the movie. A cucumber won't tell other cucumbers that you're not a virgin anymore. A cucumber doesn't care if you were ever a virgin.