All we read, heard and watched told us that loving ourselves unconditionally was not an acceptable practice. Actually, it was frowned upon and when we attempted it, we were attacked, sometimes verbally and sometimes passive aggressively by being rejected by our peers and loved ones. Sometimes it was telepathic messages and energies that we experienced. This created an addiction. Yes, conditional love is an addiction and that is why it is so difficult to stop it.
Addictions are actually compulsions.
Our subconscious has been programmed by our parents, teachers, peers and society that anytime we are wrong or bad, we are in a life threatening experience. The hundredth monkey effect can go both ways and when enough children were beaten by their parents, all children in that society became afraid and adopted the same defense systems. As children, our parents were literal giants. In comparison to us today, they would be like 18 foot tall giants weighing 800 pounds. If we were wrong or bad, we would die.