Anger at a troubled person in the family for engaging in a dependency behavior. Anger at family members who conspire to belittle and manipulate the troubled person. Anger at self for causing a problem for self and others. This leads to resentment that leads to more buried feelings, resulting in guilt and depression. Intense anger at self and others can become frozen into a chronic attitude of hostility.
Anger leads to rage that leads to severe punishing of the troubled person or other family members.
Face the anger for what it is and don't try to avoid it. Identify feelings that are at the root of the anger or depression over the loss. Identify the guilt, resentment, rage, fear, embarrassment, depression, etc., involved in this anger over loss. Anger is a signal that things are not going our way. Anger is a motivator for us to change things or to rectify them.