Rather it means that mentally and emotionally the addict is detached, or isolated, from human relationship and contact. The most intimately personal of human behaviors becomes utterly impersonal. Addictive sex is secretive. In effect, the addict develops a double life, practicing masturbation, going to porn shops and massage parlors, paying for prostitutes, all the while hiding what he is doing from others-and, in a sense, even from himself. Because this secret life is so full of shame, the biggest fear of the sex addict is to be found out.
Addictive sex is devoid of intimacy.
The sex addict is utterly self-focused. He cannot achieve genuine intimacy because his self-obsession leaves no room for giving to others. As a child, there were most likely no intimate relationships outside of sex. To be truly intimate is an experience most sex addicts have never had. Addictive sex is devoid of relationship.