Grief groups, a close friend, a clergy person or doctor may be the one with whom you can relief your sense of shock and began to move to the next stage. Here, with the fear, anger and depression, we have made strides in our recovery, though it may not always feel so. Expressing these fears, first of all to ourselves, and then to another is the first step beyond them. This is a wise time to use our religious and spiritual support systems, and look to our values to sooth our way. There we may be able to make some sense of what has happened, and when we do, chances are our regination will rebound as anger.
Anger is a just human feeling, one everyone, including religious icons, have felt.
It is fury at the injustice of life, and we are right to feel angry. However, moving beyond the anger is important lest we alienate those around us. Depression is anger turned inward at ourselves, and when we are depressed we become immobile, withdrawn and more and more self-centered. The key to moving out of depression is to get moving, to walk or take rides, to putter in the garden, or even better, to do something for a friend. A while after our son died, amazed at how many beautiful plants and flowers had come our way, we felt an impulse to send small plants to his closest family and friends in gratitude for their reaching out to us.