Ok, after long searching I turned up this pretty good mini-essay on the subject, which is meant to explain things to the gals. Closely related to this is another variety, which I don't really have a good term for. Attempting to jump-start a relationship in this fashion frequently backfires, as the man may intuitively sense what's up, namely that sex is being used as an emotional weapon, and consequently remain at a safe distance. Funny, I think we're both right. Since the ideals which underlie them are mutually exclusive, the codes are in competition.
Any act is appropriate in the relational context, provided that both partners mutually approve.
These three scripts have different definitions of control over erotic conduct. Whereas in 1952 Americans were considered sick for wanting too much sex, by 1980 they were sick for wanting too little. In the 1980s, sexual revisionism set in with a vengeance. Any or all might be blamed or credited for the shift. But if the procreative script shared preeminence with the relational script, the recreational script was out in any case.