In just a couple weeks, all of the vigorous bodies in North Dakota will be streaming into Grand Forks for the Prairie Rose State Games. A wide range of athletic events will be staged to test the stamina, the metal and the skill of every macho man and woman, boy and girl. Now many of them are scouring through the small print in the Americans with Disabilities Act to see if there isn't some sort of guarantee of equal opportunity in sports events.
Age is a disability and to play hard games is age discrimination.
To nip lawsuits in the bud, it would behoove all of us to pre-empt legal action by setting up a series of activities akin to the Prairie Rose Games for those who can no longer put one foot ahead of the other or even get one off the ground. Probably grounds for another lawsuit. Looking through Mrs. Omdahl's almanac of flowers, searching for something comparable to Prairie Rose, the only appropriate plant listed was something called the goutweed, more commonly known as Aegopodium. Now that doesn't sound as appealing as the state flower but it sure beats leafy spurge and ragweed. Anyway, goutweed sounds relevant so an oldster's equal opportunity tournament should probably be called the Goutweed Games.