Rev. Samuel W. Young, pastor of the First Congregational Church in Oxford, agrees. Rev. Young said the extent of Elian's difficulties depend, in large part, on his relationship with his father and with his late mother. Separation from a parent hurts children, he said. Rev. Young counsels families going through divorce. Elian is too young to make a choice, Rev. Young said, but he probably is wondering who will take care of him.
Children are very concrete in terms of thinking.
No doubt, the same thing is going through Elian's mind. The controversy surrounding Elian's case also points out the problem of gender bias in this country, according to Mark A. Charalambous of Leominster, a co-founder of The Fatherhood Coalition, a nonprofit organization of mostly noncustodial fathers. Members, who include women, advocate for fathers remaining in their children's lives after parents divorce. If it were Elian's mother trying to get him back home rather than his father, Mr. Charalambous said, the dispute never would have taken place. The premise that mothers are better parents than fathers is at the core of the bias, he said.