Unresolved anger and conflict can cause us to give up in the quest for oneness. This may be followed by resentment, bitterness, rebellion and alienation. Other individuals may live an existence of endless disputing, never settled. Some may work out a form of agreement by the capitulation of one of the partners to the other and a loss of his own personality. Or withdrawal may occur, with each person organizing his own life and becoming more and more secretive.
Couples typically manage conflict by excluding it, by avoiding it, or by resolving it.
In some marriages one is in a position of power, control and decision-making over the other. Others avoid conflict by dividing control and decision-making between husband and wife and by not discussing sensitive issues or sharing deep feelings. Couples who seek deeper levels of intimacy endeavor to resolve conflict. They build up each other's sense of respect and personal worth. They open themselves in communication and attempt to understand each other's inner needs.