The legalistic scaffolding of my personhood came tumbling down and the burned-out wreck of me stood plain. That's a way of saying it. Not one, though, that addresses what I felt at the time to be my most serious problem. I couldn't understand what story I was living any longer. My life made no sense.
Codes can only function in the context of known ends.
When, like Dante, we become lost in a dark wood, the night and the whirlwind take away our standards, however sufficient or treacherous they have so far proved to be. Then we are alone and the world grows silent. At that point, some of us find that we are being held by a Love that holds us for his own inscrutable reasons. It certainly doesn't have anything to do with us. It has to do with the nature of this Love himself.