Routine ass kickings from neighborhood pit bull. Chicks don't dig human-carnage breath. The grating way Barbara Walters pronounces your name. Between gangs, British nannies, and O.J., nobody gives a rat's ass about a hair-covered snarling killer anymore.
Dandruff shampoo fails to give that 'whole body' tingle.
Every werewolf bitten by Jesse Helms gradually, inexorably becoming Republican. George Clooney haircut makes them look too lovable. HMO dental plan doesn't cover plaque removal on retractable fangs. Most people fear the bite of Marv Albert more than yours. Repeatedly mistaken for Janet Reno.