The child may also feel a change in family status because of a lack of connection with birthparents. Grieving for the past when they felt secure and wondering about unknown birthparents varies in intensity for children. Many children will show no outward indicators that they are thinking about such things. Especially for the child who genuinely loves his or her parents and wants to please them, there may be absolutely no questions about adoption. As the child continues to try to internally resolve concerns about adoption, parents may see changes such as moodiness or oppositional behavior that they will not necessarily connect with adoption.
Adolescence Moving into adolescence, rapid changes occur.
Most obvious are the physical attributes which are part of the child's genetic history. This widens the gap between the adoptee and other family members. Even if there is a physical similarity to the adoptive family, teens know there are unknown people somewhere who look exactly just like them. More significant is the internalizing of the adoptive process. The teenager has a cognitive ability to do abstract thinking.