Family violence is rare or we'd hear more about it. They drive men to violence. Abused women like it, or they wouldn't stay. There's no point in helping abused women. They'll just go back.
Abusers are violent in all their relationships.
Drinking causes abusive behavour. Children who grow up in abusive situations get used to it and can learn to deal with the abuse. Nobody can help abusers. Canadian Government Publishing Centre, Hull, Quebec, 1980. Other researchers generally consider this a low estimate.