This is a very lucky lifetime. Be true to your luck in this lifetime. Be grateful to that. Stop paying homage to these wound gods, and start paying homage to this that you have realized to be universal consciousness. See where your life will be taken.
Direct experience is primary.
We have tried going about it the other way around, understanding mentally and then attempting to make reality follow. That is called affirmation or positive thinking, and it can be very useful. It is much better than negative thinking. But finally you want direct experience with no thinking necessary. Then whatever thought arises of worthlessness, you have been given a key.