BEER stains wash out. Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car. When BEER goes flat you toss it out. BEER is never late. BEER labels come off without a fight.
BEER never has a headache.
After you have a BEER, the bottle is still worth a dime. A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER on your breath. If you pour a BEER right, you will always get good head. You can have more than one BEER a night and not feel guilty. You can share a BEER with your friends.