Either that, or they'd be eating Top Ramen until they learned how to hit. Unless he starts beating the shit out of other mascots. Or instead of the fancy-schmancy new scoreboard they should have girls with scorecards like in boxing matches. Ball-girls don't count. That's not enough.
Baseball is a civilized, conservative, passive, slow-paced, sexless, antiquated sport.
I don't understand why it remains our national pasttime. Ot has nothing to do with American culture, anymore.