You've wandered into the wrong party. See if they have free beer. Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. You have been in a fight. Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
Beer is crystal clear.
Somebody is trying to sober you up. Everyone looks up to you and smiles. Fall on somebody cushy-looking. Floor is blurred. Find out if you are being taken to another bar.