I did want to get that out, this site feels like such a lifesaver to me. I've been married twice, and have a current boyfriend. All my relationships have been abusive in one way or another. I am finally becoming much more aware of my part in the abuse my feelings of inadequacy, fear, etc. Your questions are multiple and none are cut and dry.
Different therapists have different ways of handling the same problem.
I am a cognitive therapist and I am clearly biased in that direction. I would encourage you to look at your thinking and would encourage you to learn to impose impulse control over the raging emotions. I would certainly encourage validation and your attendance at support groups, though your goal would not be to vent your rage. This would not be helpful to you though it may feel good momentarily. If you are in the destructive habit of expressing runaway emotion, you need to learn emotional modulation.