I think it is more difficult for the abuser to change, and would need more professional help than it is for the abused to change. I feel so afraid and alone. One can receive counseling at a shelter, even if they are not ready to go there to live. They feel abused themselves. So they need to put others down.
Abusers are usually cowards when they come up against someone more powerful.
The domestic abuse builds them up, just for a moment, then they feel even worse about themselves because of what they have done. One of our audience members, NYMom, is being abused by her son. She says he has punched her several times and given her a black eye. He threatens to repeat the physical abuse if she doesn't do what he wants. He received a kidney transplant, as well, and she's afraid to leave for a shelter because she is worried about who would take care of him.