You and your partner need to select tasks that you find fun and rewarding, as well as share in the dirty work. If he has never cooked a gourmet meal before, then don't expect him to do it all on his own. Plan things together and pick tasks that use your skills well. Once you get started, if your spouse, say, decorates the tree in a way you don't like, let it go. Be thankful that she's trying to share the work.
Criticism only creates tension.
And don't even think about equating how a job's done with your partner's love for you. The number of bulbs on the tree or the number of courses in a meal does not symbolize the amount of love you share. Recognize that it's hard work to make the holiday season festive. If you don't agree on everything, there's always compromise. It's never a bad idea to pick up something special you can enjoy .