Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.