We knew that it was conflict over differences that had always torn our previous relationships apart, so when we knew we were serious, we vowed to find ways to make our differences a blessing to our relationship, rather than a torment. And trust us, we're very different in many ways. Absolutely, but we don't ever intend to hurt one another. That's not to say we don't - because we do. But that's not our intention.
Conflict is unavoidable whenever there's two different people joining their lives together.
What we teach in our book is that conflict is healthy and a spur to personal growth when it's understood as a flare shot up from within the relationship crying out that something is out of balance or needs to get attention. That's one of the reasons we wrote The New Intimacy. That's why our political agenda is to get basic relationship skills taught in the schools at least by junior high. Conflict resolution skills are essential as are a respect for gender differences. After all boys and girls are raised in very different cultures.