You never have to explain to a cucumber why its not the right time to have sex. Cucumber wont give you a one eye stare and spit you in the face 60. You can leave home without it and get a replacement over the next town when needs arise. A cucumber will not ignore you when you bitch 62. A cucumber never wants you to cook diner.
Cucumbers are more intelligent.
A cucumber can last for hours, not minutes. You dont grudge loaning it to your friends 67. Cucumbers are supposed to be green. Cucumbers dont HAVE to have a porno mag. Cucumbers wont think you wont notice if he tries to slip into your back passage.