In an angry exchange, a person may be very angry but still very in touch with love. When a person is angry but not in touch with love, that is rage. Rage is destructive. If you or someone you know is engaged in the automatic, destructive reactions of rage, the emotion underneath is sadness. If the sadness can be released on its own, rather than immediately after the rage has produced yet another loss of love, then releasing the sadness will help diminish the power of the rage.
Anger is a proportional emotion.
As such, it can be trusted. Unlike rage, anger wells up inside us in proportion to the incident occasioning it. A minor incident will occasion a raised tone of voice. A deliberate abuse will activate a much more powerful response. When this happens, stop the exchange the moment you recognize your response is out of balance.