Codependents often don't recognize anger, thinking it has to look like rage. My guess is that there was a lot of anger in your home growing up. You were taught to fear anger. At least that is what you are taught. Anger is not about rage.
Anger is a necessary emotion.
It tells you when something in your life needs your attention. Well, you do, but you are emotionally invested in denying it. You are therefore likely to place your anger elsewhere. Your conception of anger is also distorted. You see anger as scary and unacceptable since you confuse it with rage.