Through providing healthy limits for him and calling him when he breaks those limits, I get to rediscover those boundaries for myself. Through teaching him the importance of honesty, integrity, patience and perseverance, I get to model and be reminded at a fundamental level of the strength I have to live those qualities daily. Part of my personality is that I want to appear tough, that I can withstand, or dish out, vast quantities of physical or emotional pain. But when I had a child I knew that I had to start chipping away at that unnecessary armor. I wanted my child to know that I was accessible, human.
Daddy feels pain.
Daddy makes mistakes. Whatever I feel makes it safe for him to feel. I wanted him to know that he could feel all his feelings and that I wouldn't go away. I give this gift to my son. That tough shell of mine has transformed.