Children are always affected by the soldier's absence. They can sense when the parents are upset and when they are calm. They often test the spouse as soon as the soldier leaves to find out if they will bend more when the soldier is gone. They will also test the soldier when he returns to see if they'll bend.
Consistency is important with children.
Be consistent with their discipline. Don't threaten the children about what is going to happen when the soldier returns home. When the soldier returns, children behave in a variety of ways, including hugs and kisses, but also with feelings of hurt, anger, and hostility. When the soldier is gone, children often become the main focus of the spouse. Before deployment, both the soldier and spouse should spend time explaining, at the child's level, why the soldier is leaving, with whom, and how long they will be gone.