These behaviors are annoying and upsetting. They keep everyone but the difficult person off balance. This can be true even though they may not be trying to control others. Coping balances the power between people. When someone practices difficult behaviors around you, try these techniques.
Bullies are hostile and angry, throwing tantrums to get their way.
For bullies, stand up for yourself. Don't try to fight them. Instead make your point firmly. Gripers complain about things they don't like, but rarely try to change their situation. Let gripers know you've heard their concern.