It was through lots of soul-searching and hard work that I came to realize how destructive my behavior actually was. When I first began trying to set limits I was not very good at it. Actually, I was mean. The more I practiced saying no and taking care of myself, the better I became at setting limits. I have come to understand that is usually the case with any new skills we learn, whether they are interpersonal skills or technical skills.
Boundaries are either nonexistent or inflexible.
Everything has to be in black or white, or total chaos. This column is the place where we are going to learn more about the consequences of our behavior, how to change those behaviors that are hurting instead of helping and how to break the cycle so we don't create another generation of addicts and co-dependents. Recognizing that we are a part of the problem is the first step toward resolving it. This is the time to be honest and open about your feelings, fears and dreams. We can listen, support and encourage each other without judgment by sharing our experience, strength and hope . . .