Until he establishes roots in his present relationships we need to protect his roots to the past, no matter how deformed they may be, for without roots the child will die of emotional starvation. Top Childhood should be a time of no-risk dependency. Every child needs a relationship with at least one other person who is nurturing and consistently available in order to reach adulthood without extraordinary difficulties. Children who begin to feel cared for may expect to be hurt again, and this will make them feel afraid. Their love is not worthy.
Children learn to feel worthless and suffer from low self-esteem.
Many feel scared of non-abusive situations because they don't know where they stand. After a while children may try to provoke abuse because that is the response they know best. Unless they can be glad about being the child they are, they can never truly be glad to be the adult they will become. At every stage of a child's life, his self-esteem determines the degree to which he can use the personal resources and potential he was born with. Self-esteem is a feeling that always expresses itself in the way people act.