In other words, much of the conflict in ordinary churches is personal, and therefore requires a personal approach to resolution. It assumes that Christians who love one another are willing to risk taking this advice seriously - perhaps even literally. Here's a three-step approach to resolving personal conflict in the church. It seems to have been good enough for Matthew. Second, I have to be honest with the brother or sister who has wronged me.
Conflict becomes a cancer in the church when people refuse to come clean.
A snippet of conversation is overheard, out of context, and somebody feels offended. Something in a sermon rubs us the wrong way, and we nurse the resentment year after year. A brother leaves off my name in a list of thank-you's or a sister forgets my name when I run into her in the supermarket. These little, niggling offenses grow and fester, poisoning relationships. You store up the minor offenses in your psychic gunny-sack until the day comes when you dump them all out at once.