If you poor a beer right, you'll always get good head. You can always share a beer with friends. A beer won't sit in front of the TV and watch football all weekend. A beer won't get his rocks off and then go to sleep. Beer tastes better.
Beer never goes soft.
Beer doesn't go out and brag to all his friends. You can always tell how big a beer is. Beer can satisfy you as many times as you want. A beer never thinks that it is God's gift to women. Beer can't make you pregnant.