Of course the novice learner wants to imagine him or herself fluently placing an order in a restaurant, just as the frustrated teacher yearns to sail through a lesson like a supermodel strutting smoothly and confidently down a runway. In order to reach that happy goal, we study how to be that as-yet only imaginary creature, and this study itself is therefore a form of pretence. The central dilemma here to me seems to be this. By pursuing new and improved images, perhaps we optimistically hope that, in time, we will understand these role models so intimately that we will become immersed in them, until even we come to believe that our own role-playing is the most natural thing in the world. Granted, this is a perfectly normal way of looking at things, and probably impossible to avoid altogether.
Development means growth, which means change, which means difference of some variety.
Any form of role-playing, while it certainly can be a valuable indulgence at times, is never quite the same as being one's self. The more successfully we manage to hide this natural self, the harder it's going to be to find it when we really need it, out in the real world. Real self-confidence and real trust, however mutable, are still worth striving for.