Our tendency when we hear someone say something that strikes us as unacceptable is to assume that it is false and try to imagine what's wrong with the person who said it. The Sensory Modes are the vocabularies of the sensory systems, plus some associated body language items. Because people communicating under stress tend to rely most heavily on their preferred Sensory Mode, matching that mode is a way to speak their language and increase your chances for satisfactory communication. Match the mode coming at you. If you can't follow Rule One, try not to use any Sensory Mode language at all.
Any sensible person knows that.
Blaming in response to Blaming gets you a fight. Placating in response to Placating gets you an undignified delay. Computing in response to Computing gets you a dignified delay. If you don't know what to do, go to Computer Mode and stay there until you have a good reason to change. The three-part message is a language pattern for making complaints.