The fact that your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of two years does not make the rest of us miserable pigs. Even if we are miserable pigs, you'll have a tough time showing causality. The Three Stooges are funny. Butthead is the smart one. Nobody actually reads Playboy, but you should humor us anyway.
Briefs are a no-no, no matter what.
Hair jokes are not funny. The genetic coding required to ask for directions is not contained in the Y chromosome. Therefore, you need not bother suggesting that we stop. Love our mothers. Love our sisters.