And people in their 40s may be different than those in their 60s. Priorities and goals change. As friends may grow apart as people grow and change, so may spouses. Yet, in spite of the odds, many people are able to make marriage at least tolerable for many decades. Some people grow together, while others grow separately but are sufficiently satisfied with one another to remain together.
Contemporary marriages have to rely upon different models than in previous generations.
The metamorphosis of marriage has been underway since the 1950s. In previous generations a woman was taught to accommodate - to put aside her needs in favor of the needs of the man. She was to accommodate her needs to him. This model of marriage reduced women to the status of wife, while elevating men to the status of husband. The power lay with the husband.