They should be appropriate to the individual, and the process should focus on the individual first and work outward from there. Help the child understand the scope of the world. Kids do not fully understand the numbers. Here's where parents must be realistic and protect their children from the inevitable tendencies toward self-centeredness and wishful thinking that are a part of the adolescent world. Be realistic when developing a college list.
Competitive colleges are just that, competitive.
Get away from the idea that it is a rewards or awards process. It is not. Again, kids need help understanding the difference. Resist the temptation to refuse to learn more, and plan broadly so that even given the vagaries of the process, the child will have some choice in the senior spring. Reinforce the idea that what we're all after are good next steps in the transition between late adolescence and early adulthood, and remind kids that formal education plays a role in but does not define one's success in life.