But, just in case, I think I'll do my shoplifting somewhere else. I've been thinking about that sign, and I've decided there is a similarity between that sign and the way many Christians view their relationship with God. In fact, now that I think about it a bit more, shoplifters and Christians are not altogether that dissimilar. For instance, both Christians and shoplifters try to hide the bad stuff. Shoplifters want people to think that they are just normal shoppers, and, I suspect, if anybody recognizes them for what they are, they flee.
Christians do that too.
We go to church in our best clothes, carrying a Bible and looking quite spiritual. That's hard to do for shoplifters and for Christians. Because the roles we play are so important to us, it is quite rare for us to take the masks off and get honest. It simply costs too much. The people in the congregation laughed, and a few probably agreed with him.