I believe it is the most critical of the four. Paradoxically, communication is the skill we depend on the most to get our daily interpersonal needs met - yet few of us ever really study how we do it, or learn what's possible. We each decode meanings from silences and absences as much as we do from talking and other non-verbal actions. Verbal communication skills and effectiveness can be improved , over time - any time. Effective verbal communication requires awarenesses and a committed, cooperative effort among all people involved - so it is not always possible at the moment, unless all people voluntarily contribute these.
Awarenesses yield the input to metatalk .
This skill requires empathy, mutual respect, patience, and process awareness skill. Use respectful assertion if you need to talk more than your partner does - specially if your emotions are high because of conflicts with them. Use metatalk , digging down , and problem solving any time you and a partner have conflicting communication, tangible, or intangible needs . Effectiveness at problem solving requires fluency in all 6 other communication skills. Typical divorced families and stepfamilies are riddled with complex inner personal and interpersonal conflicts, for years .