Bend the bill of the hat to create a nice curve. Then throw the hat on the dirt, spit on the hat, bleed on the hat, throw the hat in a fire and so on, until the color of the hat resembles the rich ochre hue of feces. Next, hold your breath and put the hat on your head. This provides a good excuse not to wash your hair until you get yo ur B.B.A., hopefully within five years. Never take this hat off.
Brown hats are so cool.
Next, purchase a plaid oxford shirt. You can never have too many plaid oxford shirts, especially if they're designed by Ralph Lauren. And make sure it is wrinkled, untucked and at least four sizes too large. Big plaid shirts are so cool. Below the belt, you want a pair of khaki chinos or jeans.