A beer never thinks that it is God's gift to women. Beer can't make you pregnant. Beer won't ever tell you no. Conversely, beer won't ever bother you when you don't want to drink. If you throw out a beer, it doesn't come backing whining.
Beer never has to apologize.
A good bottle of beer is always tall, dark, and handsome 15. A beer won't use you and then run off. Although a beer can get you drunk, it won't take advantage of you. A beer will last as long as you want. You can have beer without guilt.