Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants. Pisses directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see the bubbles. Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in the next stall will get blamed. Stands very close for a long time, reads newspaper with free hand. Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
Waits until he has to crap, then does both. Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoes. Stands on box, falls in, drowns. Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants. Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.