Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart. Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents. Those who've never had any. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children. No wonder kids are confused today. Live long enough to be a problem to your children. The Rules 1. The female always makes the rules.