This is incorrect. Vampires do exist. They hold important offices in our corporations, governments, and duck farms. Vampires have always been essential to our economy. Barry, the Vampire, however, was an exception.
All great geniuses are.
Shortly before this story begins, Barry, the Vampire had decided to retire and enjoy a little peace and quiet. Barry, the Vampire hadn't claimed his stake yet, and he hadn't chosen a place removed from trouble and strife, but he was happy. He was just like you and me, really. He lived in a modest little cottage in Rosedale, between a cement plant and a gas station. His vampire acquaintances often asked him why he didn't live in the country if he wanted peace and quiet, but the truth was, Barry, the Vampire was afraid of the light.