Yet, very often those women who have the fire to rebel have also had the misfortune of having abuse and violence to rebel against. This is a formula for becoming an abuser as well. Knowing only the pattern of attack or counterattack, rebellious abused women learn the lesson of destroy or be destroyed. Having rejected the role of victim, they frequently take the only other role available in this destructive duel, that of victimizer. Since they are often not the physically strongest opponent, the weapon of choice of abusive women is usually verbal assault, and they often become skilled slashers and crushers of spirits.
Daughters are a major target of abusive women.
The anger and resentment that abused women carry in their hearts provide the fuel for directing those feelings at themselves and at their daughters. As women, they are putting themselves at the least risk by targeting their daughters because daughters are the most vulnerable. And as women, it is the most natural outcome of abuse, to be angry at and abuse ourselves for not being able to make others love us enough to treat us well instead of abuse us. The trap of the gender stereotype that teaches us to believe that if we are good enough and nice enough, everyone will like us and often even love us, also teaches that if we are mistreated and abused it's our fault because we didn't do it right. Abuse of women is justified by the belief they failed the test of goodness and niceness.