If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to the armpit level on the woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
All grocery bags contain at least one French stick.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No- one will think of looking there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone your sweetheart back home.