Like any siblings, they play together . . . and fight together. Sibling rivalry can make life miserable for everyone. As Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish point out in their now classic book, Siblings Without Rivalry , the rivalry comes from each child's need for the exclusive love of his or her parents. Naturally, the arrival of a sibling means less attention from parents. As a result, children become jealous of the attention that a sibling receives from their parents.
Children think that they're getting less attention, and less love, and they become envious.
As parents, we need to do all we can to reassure each child that he or she is special and loved. And we need to turn a competitive environment into a cooperative one. That means encouraging siblings to appreciate rather than dominate or intimidate each other. There are many good books filled with ideas to help parents cope with sibling rivalry. Return to The Top-Secret Journal article.