Baseball is, apparently, a game or something.
The team that gets bought by the richest person before the game ends, is the winner. However, according to the rules of baseball, if neither team is bought by one of the ten richest men alive before the game ends, then the team whose fans throw the most rolls of toilet paper onto the field before the game ends, is the winner. The new university will be called MIT, the Massachusetts Incinerator of Technology. Then MIT post-docs will tell MIT doctoral candidates to turn it on. Top undergraduate students from around the world will apparently be recruited to tongue the incinerator clean after each new round of technology.