When my children were around Jessica's age, I frequently allowed them to take hold of the controls . . . I was the pilot. The crash of the Cessna 177 Cardinal with pilot Joe Reid and passengers Jessica and Lloyd Dubroff was a tragedy. I said pilot Joe Reid and passenger Jessica Dubroff. Despite the public perception, Jessica was not flying that airplane.
Current FARs are very clear about who is eligible to be a pilot.
Individuals younger than 16 years of age cannot be a licenced student pilot which is the entry-level, if you will, for young pilots. Recreational pilots, the next step up, must be at least 17 years of age. Clearly Jessica was not eligible to be even a student pilot. Although Jessica had taken about 35 hours of flight instruction before her cross-country flight, she could not lawfully operate that aircraft without a flight instructor. As a flight instructor of over twenty years, I assure you students do not make critical flight decisions, the pilot in command or flight instructor does.