Sadness is unwelcome, a social barrier that makes others uncomfortable. When people with cancer pretend to be cheerful they may make it easier on their family and friends, and health professionals, by not requiring them to face their own grief. Sadness is not depression. Major depression can take the form of despair, a bleak outlook that colors everything. It can be obsessive rumination, paralyzing guilt, or an inability to face the day and accomplish what needs to be done.
Depression is a legitimate disorder that deserves to be treated.
But sadness is part of living. We are sad because life does not match our dreams, because we lose what we love and we lose what we need, because others let us down. Because our own bodies let us down. People with cancer usually try to return to the person they once were, but most will be changed in some way. Those who allow themselves to be sad can recognize the losses and grieve for them.