Here are some examples. All are authentic announcements in churches. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of this church. Children will be baptised both ends. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk please come early.
A young modern rabbi in a suburban temple loved to play golf, and played as often as he could, but because he took his pastoral duties so seriously, he could rarely find the time. One sunny Saturday morning, after services, he got such an urge to play a few holes that he begged God to forgive him for breaking the Sabbath, tossed his golf bag in the car and drove to a course where he was sure non-one would recognise him. Dear me, sighed the Lord. Moses stared in bewilderment. Mmmm, smiled God.