Naturally enough, each person tries to explain to me that things would be much better if only the other one would change. Along with helping the couple resolve their differences, I try both people understand that the health of their relationship requires a shift in consciousness. Each person must discover the underlying unity obscured by the universal human misperception that we are all separate creatures if their relationship is to grow and deepen to its fullest. Couples capable of making this discovery find their relationship improve. As they learn to go beneath the surface conflicts and differences, they tap inner resources of love, understanding and compassion.
Differences continue to come up.
Tensions and differences still arise. Anger and frustration erupt in the best of relationships because, like living organisms, they must evolve and change or die. Struggle is part of the evolutionary process. But the climate in which the struggles take place needs to be one of love and compassion. This climate prevents the escalation of anger, hurt and feelings of isolation and desperation even in the face of conflict and misunderstanding.