Don t cast doubt on what you are told, the person needs to be listened to by someone who can accept the truth of what they are saying. It is important to be accepting of the way they are reacting, the way they are reacting may not be what you are expecting. Many people develop difficulties in their lives. They may find it impossible to go to work, for instance, or find it hard to deal with their children. It is best to get rid of any ideas you may have of how a person who has been raped or sexually abused should behave, and to accept their reactions as normal.
Any reactions are normal.
Survivors often feel guilty about being raped or sexually abused and feel they could, and should, have done something to stop it happening. It is easy to say what we would do if we were attacked, but it is quiet different when it happens. So don t join in with the blaming of the person, instead challenge any feelings they may have about been careless, too trusting, or provocative , or taking responsibility and help them put the blame on the rapist where it belongs. When something terrible has happened to someone you are close to, it is often very hard to feel that you can really offer any help, but one thing which has been said to us again and again at the Centre is how much it has helped them to talk. Dundalk Rape Crisis Centre is always in need of funds, if you can help please contact us or send donations to the address above.