Any person with a last name beginning with X is attracted to men and is, therefore, either female or gay, neither of which are acceptable for Champion of the Universe. Since most of these seem to correspond to the same ways in which I am unique, I will move on to describe my reign as Champ. First of all, I have spent most of my reign correcting God s mistakes, for example, the Big Bang and German people. In my free time, I orchestrated the evolution of man as well as the Industrial Revolution. I also invented the question mark.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Can any of the contenders honestly say that they have heard one of their classmates say, There is no great adrenaline rush than shooting a warm, furry animal like a deer. The Champ also has to be a horrible, chauvinist bigot. I seem to have that down too.