Shelly, their daughter, is an addict and has had no contact with the family for more than a year. Howard and Helen are primary care givers of grandchildren, and their situation is not unique. As a grandparent reviewing the status of your situation, think about what you want to do, what you are able to do and what you must do. Be aware that most systems are not set up to recognize grandparents as the responsible persons for their grandchildren. Insist that people in authority listen to you and to the needs of the youngsters.
Adoption gives the grandparent all authority with no rights for the parents.
Another option could be for the grandkids to go into foster care. It is important that everyone involved understand the implications of legal choices as well as the risks of informal arrangements. Grandparents who find themselves parenting their grandchildren may feel conflicting emotions. They may, for example, feel that they have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children they love. By caring for the grandchildren, family unity continues and their lives take on a new purpose.