We need to protect the dialogue atmosphere from our own histories of being shamed. They support the shift from discussion to dialogue by affirming differences and not letting participants become polarized in win-lose contests. With a genuine spirit of inquiry, we don't care who said what or which direction the dialogue takes. We are all on the same side in dialogue, pursuing a common quest for understanding. One way of responding that supports a dialogue atmosphere balances advocacy and inquiry.
Advocacy presents a position, while inquiry explores it.
The more we each do both, the more our responses stay fluid, true to a dialogue context. When we advocate a paradigm perspective, for instance, we also open our thought processes to inquiry. We explain how we arrived at an assumption, strategy, response or goal, and why. We also keep the door open to rethinking our positions from the ground up. We reflect on our own paradigm and invite others to do the same.