The price of this stiff, stoic non-feeling stance is an added tragedy. Not only is the paradox of gift and curse eliminated, but so is emotional involvement in one's life. Giving in to despair and becoming a victim of the tragedy also destroys the integrity of reconciling the paradox of the gift and curse of brain damage. The vulnerability and passivity of victimhood are not balanced by strength and activity. The crash into victimhood may yield sympathy but it will never yield integrity or real intimacy.
Courage is supplanted by a giving in and giving up, leaving no room for courage.
Just as stoicism is stiff and cold, so victimhood is mushy and damp. Neither claims the paradox and both add another tragic element to an already tragic state. Much less easy to discover and much more difficult to recognize and certainly much more challenging to embrace. The gift of brain damage is hidden in its demands. To deal with the endless list of demands that a damaged brain requires, we are forced to dig deep within ourselves and find the courage, the depth, and the commitment to integrity that allows us to go to essential truth.