Sooner or later, disappointments rain down in life. Whether it s not making the cut for a volleyball team or the invitation list for a birthday party, failing a test or being hurt by a friend, children will face tough times. While none of us wants them to endure rejection and disappointment, we do want them to grow up to be capable of overcoming life s inevitable obstacles with vigor, resilience, and determination. Yet parents often feel they should try to spare their children disappointment. In the mistaken belief that the perfect childhood is obstacle-free, some parents unknowingly sabotage their child s progress toward growth and independence.
Disappointment involves emotional loss, a temporary wilting of the spirit, thwarted desire.
The wise help their children to see these setbacks for what they are- opportunities to temper the spirit. Childhood disappointment is actually a practice lap on the course to adulthood. If you run interference whenever disappointment threatens, you re setting kids up to run a marathon without ever letting them train for it. They placate them with a movie or a ball game - anything to take the bad feelings away. But this kind of instant relief isn t realistic or desirable.