Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish.
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.