These children often exhibit lack of empathy for other people, decreased social adequacy, low self-esteem, and a lack of control over their own environments. COAs often believe that they will be failures, even if they do well academically. Later in life, no matter how much they achieve, frequently they do not view themselves as successful. Finally, perpetuating the cycle, children of addicted parents are the highest risk group to become alcohol and drug abusers themselves. In particular, sons of alcoholic fathers are at a fourfold risk compared with the offspring of non-alcoholic fathers.
Adults think they're covering up well, but they never give their children enough credit.
Moe adds that children, while sensing trouble, invariably get the wrong message about the cause. Developmentally, young children are the hub of their own universe. So when they see disaster looming around them, they figure it's something they did. It must be their fault. Adding to the tragedy, many alcoholics and spouses reinforce that insidious message either directly or by implication.