The shock of discovery opens up a world of assumptions for those directly affected. Society as a whole is becoming far more sympathetic than it was, and an increasing number of wives and girlfriends are to be found at meetings of the many social and support groups. As knowledge has increased the assumption of a link to homosexuality has become rarer but can still cause distress when it is made. A wife may be hurt that fear has kept this secret from her, feel she has failed in her own femininity, or be threatened by 'competition'. She may be justifiably frightened about the social and economic penalties which may result from discovery.
Children can find that their peer society is even less forgiving of differences than the adult.
I commend listening before judging and truth before comfort. Genesis 1 vs 27 is sometimes used in this connection. As I read it, it is an assertion that women share the image of God rather than a statement indicating a fundamental divide between men and women that should not be crossed. As I have already noted there is considerable evidence for intersex conditions and changing sex within the animal kingdom. Someone who dresses up in the clothing of the opposite sex for a variety of reasons.