Of course, here at Scott Stadium, it was not necessary to paint the roof in order to get the grass to die. Before today's game we interviewed Cavalier football star Trick Ambrosia and asked him whether he preferred grass or Astroturf. Since most of the Lambeth Field dormitories are still not completed, numerous students are looking for a nicer place to sleep at night than the dilapidated elegence of McKim Hall. The band regrets to announce that its music for the next selection failed to arrive, despite being posted airmail-special delivery a week ago from the new Route 29 postal facility. An instant replacement arrangement of a new song was made last night, and thus the band rises above even this adversity.
Band scrambles off to four corners with drum cadence.
The band hopes to return your pants before Tuesday morning.