Sure, they're cute in small numbers. But unchecked, their population will swell and they'll make their way down to our proud cities. That sparkly shine. Think of the children, who love oil with all their precious hearts. We must leave no child behind.
Children are our most precious resource.
Ban drilling and face their deep, wordless grief. Soon we'll have enough oil to fuel four mega-SUVs per household, larger than ever, with enough left over to dump on our enemies' heads. America's trucks will be so big that even the popular girls, with the tiny backpacks, will like us. Sure, their faces may be mildly cute, but look at their midsections. Fools, that's who.