Narcissism is an adaptive defense mechanism. I adopted it because it worked. The second its dysfunctional disadvantages outweigh its adaptive advantages - it will hurt badly and I will get rid of it. This means that the constant hurt that you are experiencing now is the shedding of your defense mechanisms, the transition from the larval stage to a higher order of things. This persistent feeling of hurt is an alarm signal, telling you that your defense mechanisms are no longer working, that some Trojan horse penetrated your defenses, that dysfunction far outweighs function and that you have to re-adjust your mental jigsaw puzzle.
Defense mechanisms are viruses.
They have no genetic material of their own. They infiltrate your cells and make use of YOUR DNA and use YOU for food. Hurt, pain, temperature, spasms, tears. It has little to do with the real world. Reality is made of hurtful and joyous things.