This phenomenon is whacking the 76 million baby boomers as more couples, many of whom delayed childbearing, become sandwiched between elder care and child care. Some 50 percent of California caregivers juggle work, family and elder care responsibilities. Getting information on how to carry out those responsibilities can be traumatic. There's a medical crisis - and then you're on the roller coaster. Widespread lack of awareness of these services leaves caregivers isolated, depressed, exhausted - and in need of help themselves because of burnout.
Children become very frightened when they see the memory lapses, the frailty in a parent.
And the role reversal brings up a lot of issues around what the parent-child relationship has been. For many adult children, there is an even larger, more personal bottom line - the reason most families remain so unprepared. Most older people want to live out their lives at home. As more people live longer, the limitations and illnesses of old age are forcing families to scramble for suitable housing, usually in combination with an expensive array of health or social services. Beyond such housing lie the cost and heartbreak of the nursing home, because even when children want to take a parent in, many cannot - there isn't enough money or there isn't enough space.