Moreover, her male partner is frequently reluctant or unwilling to participate in couples therapy. While many men would like to think so, I doubt this is true. I believe the answer can be traced back to men s genetic dispositions and to the roles and coping styles that men learn during childhood. From very early childhood, boys are conditioned to be strong, brave, independent, even fearless. Such traits are considered virtuous.
Boys grow up learning to identify with ideal images of men in the form of the masculine hero.
The hero is strong and alone. In times of trouble, he can conquer all odds and rescue and save others from devastation. Clearly, living up to this image prevents a man from being real and authentic. He expends his time and energy trying to live up to an idealized self-image that requires him to sacrifice his own inner needs. In his efforts to save and rescue others, he forgets who he really is.