In inhibited, puritanical and hypocritical Kerala, a greying woman swimming in anything resembling beach wear would cause a ruckus. My feet are no longer recognisable. I wear a size six now. I can only wear footwear that are spatulate, for they must accommodate my swollen toes. I often wonder if there are unseen organs within me, swelling in size with the onset of loneliness and the consequent cynicism.
Body awareness is by itself a weakness.
Gender awareness is worse. To remember only the visible trappings of one's body, forgetting the existence of the invisible ones is common but not wise. To be obsessed by breasts, thighs and legs, ignoring the blood-purifying heart, the liver and the intestines, must cause spiritual indiscipline. The most respected component of all is undoubtedly the soul. If one is conscious of the soul, people cease to be mere bodies and begin to resemble balls of fire.