In conflicts, that value provides both measure and means for making difficult choices that will benefit the community. I have witnessed a group of widows, survivors of the genocide in Rwanda with their memories of terror and loss, come together to support and help other widows like themselves, regardless of ethnic identity. They seek to build on their similarities, their common loss and the shared concern for their children. In Wajir, a nomadic community in northern Kenya, women are reclaiming their role as peacemakers. Moving about their communities in new ways, they call everyone to work together for the good of the children.
All peoples have their own ways of dealing with conflict.
I have seen village elders act as mediators, negotiators, and sometimes as judges. For them, the important thing is to regain balance in the community, to restore relationships. The rite of reconciliation is shaped by the realities of the community, by that which is both real and symbolic in their daily lives. In Africa, apology is sometimes expressed by offering beads or local grasses, baskets or even food. In some way apology is made and forgiveness granted for the sake of the community.