Also common is doing everything they can to bring about a reconciliation between the divorcing parents. Older children may be especially angry with the parent who initiated the divorce. They may attempt to cover up their feelings by throwing themselves into a variety of activities. Teenagers often feel pulled to take sides with one parent or the other. This can make their adjustment more difficult and they may wonder about their own chances of having a successful marriage.
All children wonder if they are the cause of the divorce.
Don't let it be a surprise. Both parents should tell the children and discuss feelings they may have. It may be hard for both parents to be there, but it lets the children know you will both be available to work out the difficulties. Be appropriately truthful with your children about the reasons for the divorce. Even very young children can understand if the language is simple.