Many people have a deeper belief that if they are not helping people get better they have no value. If they have no value, they cannot be lovable. The problem with this pattern is if you need to fix sick and dysfunctional people in order to feel loveable, you will continually attract these people into your life and they will not get well. It is common for two controllers to be together in a relationship both only seeing the other in the controlling pattern. I have worked with numerous couples where both are controllers.
Blame is a big part of the controller's experience.
Victim energy is at the root of the pattern. At a deeper level if you still believe you are a victim, you may use control to create a feeling of safety to prevent yourself from ever being a victim again. I have to please others to be loved This pattern is often the other common opposite of a controller pattern. It is more common for women to play this role in a relationship with a controlling man. In this pattern the person always is thinking of other people before they think of themselves.