Sometimes a batterer will be cruel to animals. Or there will be a playful use of force during sexual relationships, sometimes verbal abuse, sometimes dual personalities. Sometimes the partner is just loving and wonderful, then other times filled with rage and physically violent. Breaking and striking of objects, the use of force during an argument. All of these are indications of abuse.
Abuse can start out with verbal abuse and then go through a process of escalation.
You move from the escalation of psychological abuse to the point where the tension reaches a climax and then there is often high anxiety, sometimes explosive physical violence, injuries, sometimes injuries resulting in death. The part that is most confusing for many people is after that crisis time there is often a time of calm. It is in that time of calm that the idea of love is likely to be abused. In this stage the batterer becomes very manipulative. The batterer attempts to convince the victim that there was some reason the battering took place.