Everything I need to know I learned from Al Yankovic. Ten things all parents learn eventually All children believe that bread crust is poison. No matter how hard you try, you cannot convince them otherwise. A child's bladder only works in the car. If a child falls asleep in the car, you can bet you are only two minutes away from your destination.
Children consider it unconscionable to let a parent sleep or eat a hot meal.
Children are scared of the dark, but not scared of Barney. There is no logical reason for this. It is a law of physics that a child's rear end cannot touch a seat for more than 2.89 seconds at a time. It is a law of physiology that a child's eardrum will not register a sound until you have said it five times. Generally, the more expensive a toy is, the more a child will want it and the less he or she will actually play with it.