Such a ritual marks the importance of this life event and can help a family with healthy expression, rather than repression, of feelings. Remember, too, that individuals grieve in different ways. It is not uncommon for parents to grow apart from one another, rather than pull together in the aftermath that follows the loss of a child. This sometimes is a result of not allowing for differences in how people grieve. Women may desire a more outward display of emotions, while men may grieve more privately.
Depression can set in, and spouses can become disconnected from one another.
As a grandparent, you may be in a position of offering wisdom during this pivotal period. If you see the strain of this life event driving spouses apart, rather than together, consider lending a compassionate ear to each party separately. This could be a crucial juncture to encourage communication, helping a couple to come to terms with their shared pain and their differences in coping. It is not uncommon for surviving children to feel guilt about the loss of a sibling. How a family processes this event can make the difference in a child's adjustment.