I was still living under the delusion that I could make my husband change his behavior. My friends in Co-Anon would gently relay their own experiences, strength and hope. They shared with me their stories of powerlessness when it came to controlling someone else's life. I was only fooling myself and prolonging my pain. They helped me to see that life outside denial can be a wonderful place.
Denial is a two fold problem.
We deny what we see, what we hear and what we feel. We then deny what we have become. Our life becomes chaos and we don't know why. The insanity caused by not believing my feelings increased. As I discredited my own perceptions I would rely on other people for my reality.