Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners 72. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry 73. Beer doesn't mind football season 74. Beer won't make you go to church. Beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
Beer is never late.
If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.