He must think that's how he is supposed to be. Well, you're going to feel that awful way again unless you stop your verbal abuse. Perhaps you're looking for passion in the wrong venue. Stay in school, whatever you do. Your most reasonable alternative plan may be a combination- thicker skin until you can get a good job and afford a house of your own.
Calm repetition helps.
S1 Sixteen months-get financial aid. Suppose he died and left you nothing. You sound as if you would survive. Here it is as plain as plain can be. Judge people by 2 ways- gentle spirits and tormented souls.