And if you have a friend who's looking for a job, you would naturally let them know about it if you heard of a job opening they might want. You can see where this leads. But it also leads to an inherent disadvantage for women and people of color who aren't part of those networks, and who don't know the right people. That's why it makes sense to reach beyond the network of friends and friends of friends. That's why people who are hiring need to act affirmatively to bring women and people of color into the mainstream network.
Affirmative action is simply the opposite of passive inaction.
Affirmative action is about opening up and reaching out to include those who have been historically excluded. It means a willingness to take a risk. None of us wants to be hired or admitted to school to fill a quota if we are less qualified. We want to believe that we're just as capable as the next person. We just want to be considered.