I'd say, rather that having a positive outlook on life, he is simply selfish. As long as he's happy, he's not interested in whether or not you're happy. Two people in a relationship should do the best they can to make each other happy. This means he should try to give you the emotional love you need. Abusers don't give their targets anything unless it gets them something they want.
Abusers are very selfish.
Yet, he gives you only criticism and isolation. No wonder you feel frustrated and depressed. This is not what God intended for marriage. If your husband refuses to get into counseling, there is little you can do to change things. The counselor who told you to leave him probably saw that this marriage is going nowhere.