Implicit in influence-ability is being heard. There are times when a coach simply has to make a decision that the athlete is not going to like or agree with. But it can make an incredible difference if the coach will give the child a chance to say his piece. Just listening without interruption can communicate caring to the player, whether or not the decision goes his way. Sometimes the power of simply listening is more important to a kid than the specific problem he is upset about in the first place.
Coaches make mistakes.
Young athletes are sometimes hurt by those mistakes. A grown-up who finds the humility to apologize to a player is communicating in a direct and clear way that he values the player. The flip side of apologizing is forgiving children when they hurt us. Being able to forgive and move on to dealing better with each other in the future is an advanced skill, for a coach and for adults in all relationships. A coach can build a young athletes' self esteem by simply asking them to help.