Still on my back two hours later, I'm finally able to inch my way to grab the phone. It employs 7,000 doctors, nurses and professional staff. After getting a busy signal for 15 minutes, I finally get the orthopedic clinic. I must get in to see a doctor. I can't move.
Back pain is simply horrible.
We can give you drugs, shots, lotions, anything to make that terrible ouch go away. But if losing control of my bowels is what it takes to see a doctor, I will climb on your desk, squat over your appointment book, and let loose. I imagine Frau's lips turning upward to form a satisfied smile. My next call is to a physician friend, suitably sympathetic, who calls in a scrip for Tylenol 3 to the local Walgreen's, although I'm uncertain how I will get there to pick it up. Lie flat on your back for the next week.