Further, according to the victims, even when physical abuse ended, verbal abuse increased which can be devastating. The Duluth model is a socio-political analysis of inequality, based on the theory that abuse is a tactic of power and control men use against women. The Stosny model is based on the best learning theory about how people change. He talks about anger as a defense against hurt. Instead of trying to change people by shaming and blaming, Stosny increases their self-esteem,'' said Ms. Boerboom.
Compassion is more empowering than anger.
On the first night, we say, ''Imagine the worst thing you ever said or did to a person you love. Now imagine a stranger doing that. Most would have an instinct to protect a loved one. That is our deepest nature, our core value. Compassion stops abuse.