I had no idea how long a novel was supposed to be. My original manuscript was ten thousand words too short. So I just jumped back in and stuffed in ten thousand more words. People can do that when they are 20 years old. Twenty year olds are very flexible.
Conspiracy theories are for people who feel lost and helpless.
Most science fiction writers are cranks of some sort, but paranoia is really counterproductive. If you want a good, fertile, creative mental illness, go for bipolar disorder. Mostly I was just trying to help Lynn Sherman with this odd project of hers. Moving words and ideas around, that is my profession. I have to pay money to do it, but I do it anyway.