Sooner or later, you'll either resolve your conflict and realise that your fears are mistaken. Or the issue will become more important as time goes on, until you feel compelled to resort to coercion. It takes work not to coerce someone. When I question the idea that teaching is irrelevant, I am not making the assertion that teaching is essential. I thought you were, because you compared it with cooking.
Cooking is in fact essential for some foods.
I am asking what relationships are useful between those who seek knowledge and those who already know something. Neither making the latter masters of the former nor keeping the two separate seems to be the right solution. I should like to stress that I fully accept that you are asking a good and genuine question here, and that you are not just trying to find excuses to coerce children. I too once had similar nagging doubts.