The extent to which his own development has been arrested by turning to alcohol will likely have resulted in a lack of other tools for handling stress. Your husband's recovery will need to include not a only his acknowledgment that he is suffering with alcoholism, but a social support network to assist in his recovery. Alcoholic Anonymous meetings could begin this process, but it is also possible that your spouse would benefit from an inpatient hospital treatment program which includes family support groups and follow up care. Check into the programs available in your community and require that your husband investigate his options. If your husband is willing to get help, he will need to explore a new relationship to work, family and the overall meaning of his life.
Alcoholism is a disease which affects memory and neurochemical pathways in the brain.
Unstopped, he may not be able to recover brain structure that can become lost forever. It is a disease that progresses from behavioral, social and relationship damage to organic brain damage which may not be reversible. Your husband needs help. But if he will not get it, you will need to consider cutting your losses while your children are young, rather than falling prey to the ongoing ramifications of this disease. You are right to be concerned about your husband's negative effect on your daughter and the erosion of your own confidence and self-esteem.