I don't even need to shrug. I simply don't care. What he was, as a person, I mean, what his shames and yearnings were, simply don't matter. All patriarchists exalt the home and family as sacred, demanding it remain inviolate from prying eyes. All women learn in childhood that women as a sex are men's prey.
All men are rapists and that's all they are.
All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman. He's just incapable of it. Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan. The traditional flowers of courtship are the traditional flowers of the grave, delivered to the victim before the kill. The cadaver is dressed up and made up and laid down and ritually violated and consecrated to an eternity of being used.