There are too many choices and options available today to assume they must all be agreed upon in each romantic partnership. Once again, the issue isn't the problem itself, it's how couples learn to manage perpetual problems over the long haul. This point is critical to understand. Ultimately, it's the quality of the dialogue, not the seeming seriousness of the problem itself, that will predict the success of the relationship. When these four horsemen take over a marriage, the end is near.
Attraction is more related to what's in the emotional bank account than to physical appearance.
When loss of attraction or change in physical appearance is used as an excuse for divorce or constant criticisms, it is more indicative that the person doing the criticizing is having self esteem or identity issues. These emotional problem may require individual or couples treatment, but it is not physical changes that are at the heart of the deterioration of a marriage. Sexual compatibility, not frequency, is the key to couple sexual satisfaction. Many satisfied couples have little or even no sex because this is all each of them desires. Gottman found that it is the nature of the marital friendship, more than the frequency of sexual relations, that gets people through in the long run.