It's reality, and that's very different, especially in long-term relationships. Paying attention is affection, or spontaneous hugs, almost anything can be important validation. If communication is good, the bottom can teach the top, but probably the top has to encourage the communication. He can set the tone. But some noted that the relationship should be 50-50, both parties are equally responsible.
Couples handle it in different ways.
Some people deal with outside relationships by having rules, such as, the bed is for the couple only. Others are monogamous. Keeping variety in a relationship is essential. Familiarity destroys fantasy and mystery, so people have to work at making things interesting. A key component for Masters and slaves, as there would be a tendency toward dependence.