I remember when he was little, having The Big Talk with him. And I remember when I was little, having The Big Talk with my dad. Whatever is said, it is always the big people who do the talking and the little people who have to listen. When my children were born, I swore on my mother's marriages that they would never have to hear The Big Talk. I worked harder to stay married than I ever worked at anything, but I still had to do some pretty big talking two years ago when they lost their dad to cancer.
Children have to hear it and adults have to give it, no matter how much it hurts to do so.
What matters is not so much the message as how it is delivered, and what is said and done in the ongoing lifelong conversation that continues even after the child is grown. It isn't loss or disillusionment or heartache that harms children. They can weather all of that and be the stronger for it. It's lies and denial and bitterness and abandonment that can leave them scarred for life. Lucky for this child, she will never suffer any of that.