They're supposed to love me. They promised to 2. They're married to us 3. You can't get milk from a bull, no matter how thirsty you are and no matter what the bull promised you. You mentioned that the situation with your husband was frustrating to you.
Anger is always selfish and makes unconditional love impossible.
Although you try to hide it, your partner feels your disappointment and anger, and then he feels even more unloved and afraid. He has even more reason to defend himself by withdrawing from you, getting angry in return, acting like a victim, etc. It's important that you understand that you're not frustrated because of your husband. If you had enough Real Love in your life, you wouldn't be frustrated with the behavior of your husband. You'd feel full and happy, and you'd see what your husband needs, instead of just seeing what you need from him.