In fact, the biggest tell tale sign of a permissive parent is their inconsistent discipline. Bedtime is at 7 one night and 10 the next. They use reason and negotiation to gain their child's compliance. They use their attachment and bond with their child to teach right from wrong. This is not to say that the permissive parent is an abusive or ineffective parent.
Children often do comply with permissive parents as a result of the relationship.
It is a little known fact that children do want to please their parents and are more likely to follow the directions of someone the know, love, and trust versus someone they do not. Unfortunately for permissive parents there are several weaknesses to the style as well. These weakness make this style of parenting ineffective over the long-term. As already mentioned, permissive parents are inconsistent. Over time, children learn to manipulate parents to get their way.