I'm bitter and angry. I don't want the bitterness. I don't want the anger. Yet, they are there, a daily part of my life. Jimmy J. Dear Jimmy, You are riddled with bitterness because you carry anger and a sense of helplessness with you every single day.
Bitterness is the result of powerlessness in the face of anger.
From the tone of your letter, it is likely that you are angry because you repeat thinking patterns and behaviors that got you into trouble in the first place. The angry experience is therefore present not only as a memory, but as a daily occurrence. That you were so focused on your girlfriend's not drinking that you missed significant problems strongly suggests that you were too anxious to have a warm body next to you. You had to have made excuses for her - denying reality and diminishing yourself in the process. You have clearly not mastered the art of taking care of yourself.