David Mace's purpose of this book is to explain anger in loving relationships. He makes it clear that anger must be understood before it can be managed. Anger is described as a survival kit evolving from our ancestors. It is developed through a process of steps described by Mace. First there is a negative stimulus followed by the awareness of one or more of the five senses.
Anxiety evolves and an automatic action is taken.
He believes that the brain makes a cognitive appraisal followed by an action in which we are aware and responsible of. He goes on further to explain that we are not responsible for the anger itself, but we are responsible for the actions which take place because of the anger. These same responses can be traced back to our ancestors and are visible in animals today. Marriage is a relationship in which anger is very evident and destructive. Marriage creates frustration which leads to anger.