When people think you're a rude, crude, scum-sucking cretin, they generally don't ask you stupid questions. It don't take muscle to ride, but it takes grace to ride well. There's more to ridin a motorcycle than holdin' on to handlebars and keepin' yer feet on the pegs. Despite everything else, there's still some kind of kinship between a real badass biker and a cop on a hog. Don't mess with the locals.
All motorcycles have personalities.
Some are gold-digging harlots. Some are homicidal maniacs. It's a good thing they make so many different kinds of motorcycles,'cause no two people can agree on which one's the best. Sittin' in a tavern dosen't put miles under your butt. The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.