You put both contact lenses in the same eye. You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any. You need one bathroom scale for each foot. You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch. Nothing you own is actually paid for.
Airline food starts to taste good.
Your mother approves of the person you are dating. Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies. You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box. You take longer to get over sex than you did to have it. Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresser drawer.