Relationships are most successful when the ideal and perceived triangles of both partners all match. Similarly, John Lee developed the color theory of love, in which he proposed six main types of love. John Bowlby developed attachment theory, which is used to explain the bond between infants and their caregivers. Secure attachment in a child arises from consistent and ample love, support, and proximal availability from the parent. Secure children are sociable and have stable reactions to separation and reunion with parents.
Avoidant attachment arises from consistent coldness and unavailability from the parent.
Avoidant children spurn their parents. Phil Shaver and Cindy Hazan showed that behavior patterns in adult relationships could be broken down into the same categories. Secure adults find it relatively easy to find intimacy with others and depend on them for support. Anxious-ambivalent adults often desire a more intensely close relationship than their partner is willing to have. Avoidant individuals have a hard time forming intimate relationships with anyone.