These stages are most evident as a child progresses from one grade level to the next. With each stage, dilemmas are created when a child's increasing desire for autonomy conflicts with the bonds of tradition. As painful as this dilemma is for the child, the dilemma faced by the parent is even more painful. Parents often experience feelings of anxiety and helplessness when established patterns of communication with their child are no longer effective. At no time is this more evident than when a child approaches adolescence.
Adolescence is the bridge between the child and the adult.
It is a time of contradiction. The adolescent has a fierce desire to be independent and just as strong a desire for love and belonging. We, as parents, must confront the pain of change by a willingness to adjust our parenting to meet our child's needs. We often create an emotional distance when we use old strategies to work out new problems. There is a need, at this time, to redefine our emotional connection by using strategies that allow us to let go of the child and embrace the emerging adult.