I really liked the journal. It's refreshing after having read two other paper written in a tradition stlye. Although sentence structure was simplistic, it works in this situation. I liked how I felt like the reader is a part of the actual experience. Not only is this an enjoyable paper, it still contains a lot of information covered in class as well as a fair amount of detail which wasn't covered.
Creativity always helps to makes a paper stronger while also drawing the reader in.
You did not however go to the extreme. The informative is provided in an easy to read manner. I really liked the journal.