In Fight Club, Brad Pitt had a business card. They were still cool. Unfortunately, my job does not afford me the illusions of coolness. First, I work from 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday through Friday. Nobody cool keeps that schedule.
Cool people stay up all night and work at noon.
At least that's what I'd do if I had my own soap company and ran a fight club. However, I work for the government. There is nothing cool about that. I am just a shill of the government, lost in the mindless bureaucracy. If I was the romantic hero star of my own movie, it would be about as appealing as Ishtar, Battlefield Earth, or anything starring Freddie Prinze Jr.