Don't just pretend to listen to them - children know the difference. Acknowledge and support your child's struggle to grow to maturity. Try to sympathize with what your child is going through. Look at life from their point of view. Remember when you were their age, your ideas seemed to make sense to you.
Children hate to be lectured to, but they respond to clear information and direction.
Labels only confuse the real issues that you wish to address. Talk about what you, as a parent, feel and what you need. Allow your child to talk about his or her feelings. Describe your child's positive and negative behaviors and how it affects others. Give them the opportunity to volunteer their thoughts and feelings and show a sincere interest without probing.