Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retarded monkey.
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in transforming a nice person into an asshole. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to phone them at 4 am. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Bubba.