This must come from the within the person. For example, I can feel happy and cozy wearing the slippers someone brings me or I can be annoyed or depressed by the color, size, texture, or smell. It is my attitude about someone bringing me my slippers, not the act itself that makes me feel happy or sad. It is easy to see how someone could feel that events or other people control our emotions. Especially when you consider how much failure nontraditional families have experienced relationally.
Bad marriages appear to create bad feelings.
Abandonment appears to leave behind hurt and anxiety. Traumatic events appear to result in anger and depression. Members of nontraditional families often express feeling out of control of their lives as others have hurt or even abused them. I have seen numerous children who were abused by parents, go to live with loving and nurturing parents and they still feel angry. I have witnessed abusive marriages end in divorce and members move on to new relationships with caring people and they still feel depressed.