He didn't wear a ring, he didn't have any pictures on his desk, he just plain didn't seem married. What I interpreted as self-centeredness was the fact that he was, to all intents and purposes, unavailable. In affairs, things escalate quickly. You go from doing crossword puzzles together one day to waiting by the phone at an appointed hour the next. One week you're kissing each other, feeling horribly, horribly excited and guilty, the next you're looking in the Yellow Pages under Motels.
All emotions are suspect.
Adultery is wrong for a variety of reasons, all having to do with trust and commitment and integrity. If there are kids in the mix, you can multiply the complication factor 1,000-fold. And yes, there is that nagging, terrible guilt that will certainly color your relationship with one another. Well, somewhere along the way, we young feminists assumed that by this point, the sexual playing field was pretty level. This may be true in some arenas, but not this one.