For example, we do not tell God to earn our trust, we first decide to trust in the Lord with all our heart. THEN He directs our paths. When the husband feels supported in trust, he will begin deferring to his wife's wisdom and counsel, taking it fully into account before making any decision. Teamwork develops, flowing out of the blessing God puts on marriages that are in proper order. The same rules apply, and the same blessings will flow if authority is in proper order.
All leadership is service.
But the fact is, God is looking for servants who want to lead, not leaders who want to serve. A servant is humble. He knows he is under authority, and those who serve well under authority will be given authority. But a leader who leads by positional authority is not a servant at all, and hence will make a poor leader. So it is in marriage.