Friends are under no obligation to be there for us. When their fear is strong, they can choose not to be with us. They are often able to give more because they are free to come and go according to their needs, feelings, and schedules. They can get the space that partners cannot take without raising feelings of abandonment. With friends, there are fewer of the expectations that can overburden our more intimate relationships.
Cancer stirs our deepest fears - death and loss and abandonment.
It is useful to remember that when family or friends disappoint us, fear, not lack of caring, is probably the culprit. She is a survivor of melanoma. Dr. HalvorsonBoyd is a national consultant to women's 's healthcare organizations and lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico. She survived oral cancer. 2000, Bassett Healthcare.