You will be more likely to seek out modes of healing that will be harmonious with your interest in maintaining independence. I know for myself, and for many men, the verbal connection is facilitated by connecting it with some action, place, or thing. I am grieving, but I do it in my own way, a way that is more quiet and less visible, and harmonizes with my interest in independence. A man's pain cannot be judged by outer appearances or the abundance of tears. It needs to be said that when we divide men and women into two distinct groups, we are in dangerous territory.
All people are unique in the ways they find to heal themselves.
There are probably more individual differences in grief than there are gender differences, but the gender differences do exist and need to be honored. These differences can often be clearly seen in a married couple who have experienced the death of a child. Both parents are immersed in the chaos of grief and have limited reserves to come to the aid of their partner. This is a tough situation. The solution is for all of us to honor each other's unique form of grieving.