It looks like it is going to be a busy day for me. Sounds like at any moment, you or your wife is going to explode. Repeating what your wife told you is one thing, but genuinely feeling remorse is another.
Counselling is important in a marriage for two willing participants.
If your wife is not willing, it will not work. Right now, she is probably feeling very angry with you, for many reasons. If you are interested in saving your marriage, it sounds like you will have to work on yourself for now. I have written a long post. Read it only when you have time to contemplate and think it over.