It s important to get this out in the open so that you know what your teenager attributes his failure to and correct any misconceptions that he may have. Do not compare your teenager to his peers and find him wanting. You will just be reinforcing his belief that he s not good enough the way he is, even for you. You have to teach him that he can admire others without necessarily envying them. If he comments in an envious tone about another teenager s attributes, admit that the other child is good, but point out something that your teenager is good at.
Depressed teenagers tend to vacillate over every decision.
This is because they don t trust their own judgement and need to be constantly reassured that they are doing the right thing. You have to help your teenager make decisions in a way that he will learn to trust his own judgement. It is also important that you insist that once he has made a choice, he must go through with it and cope with the consequences, whatever they are. Short-term measures like buying your teenager tickets to a concert or taking him for a holiday are not going to alleviate his depression. You are going to have to sit down and talk to him about what exactly it is that bothers him and how he can overcome it.