We may do something successfully and people congratulate us, yet we don t really feel an internal sense of accomplishment. It is the result of years of predominantly negative feedback from our environment that we then internalize. It is often the case that, because so much of their feedback is negative, children develop strategies to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior. This is actually an effort to protect their tenuous self-image from further assault, like an emotional survival mechanism. The most common avoidance strategy is what is known as projecting blame.
Children are notorious for blaming others for their mistakes.
Excessive avoidance of responsibility for one s behavior can result in a number of problematic issues. In the most extreme cases, avoiding self-responsibility often leads to incarceration. Jails are full of irresponsible people with low self-esteem who blame others for their predicament. The more common problem with avoiding responsibility for one s behavior is not learning from one s mistakes. Using positive discipline techniques naturally fosters a sense of responsibility in our children for their behavior, along with pride in their accomplishments and an enhanced self-esteem.