If you haven't, holding them in won't work anyway. Another thing is that although you will get credit when you click on your own links, don't do it. Your affiliate partner can track where the clicks originate, usually by a third party. If you are planning to make money by sitting at your computer and clicking back and forth to your affiliate sites you will get caught, and most likely kicked out. Besides, it's cheating.
Cheaters never win.
There is an easy way to deal with them. Delete them . Don't read them. Especially don't waste your time trying to get removed from their list. I have been in the mail order game for many years and am bored and annoyed with these schemes and tricks.