Actually, we welcomed a little baby that remained unnamed for a couple of days while we wrestled with the onslaught of many emotions. Michael T. Hynan, Ph.D. at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee researches the emotional impact a premature birth has on the parents. Perhaps more important than his impressive educational credentials, he speaks from experience as a preemie parent. Normal, of course, is totally redefined. To avoid being overcome by this terrible fear of death, anticipatory grief helps parents to prepare for the worst possibilities.
Anticipatory grief is a natural reaction, and it has some benefits.
It insulates the vulnerable high-risk parent from even greater pain. She was just under one foot long. A couple of days after she was born, as the numbness, shock and fear settled in, we decided to call her Grace. Grace seemed a perfect name for this amazing, albeit tiny, bundle of hope and promise. On reflection of this, Grace's Uncle Bryan remarked that he had been on his own spiritual path, trying to find the meaning of God's grace.