All control is self-control.
You can influence another's reactions or choices, but that other has the choice of whether or not to respond to you and how to respond to you. Refusing to control yourself and trying to control others is a waste of time. Moreover, when you try to control what you cannot, you lose control of yourself. Your sense of power, part of your self-esteem, depends upon your satisfaction with your own performance. And if you are trying to control someone else, you begin to think of what they do as part of your own performance.