Their lives have been passing by and I have been missing out emotionally on a good portion of it. In my mind, I didn't feel that Kristen had given me permission to go on without her. Unrealistic as my thoughts and feelings may have been, it just goes to show how much we, as parents, emotionally invest in our children and how much that investment impacts our identity as a mother or father. Since having another awakening experience a few months ago, when Kristen 'released' me and gave me that blessing to move forward with my life, I have opened my mind and my heart to my boys. All of my children are the love and light of my life, whether they are here physically or not.
Children have that special gift of opening our minds and hearts, even wounded ones.