Much attention has recently been paid to the influence of peers on each other's character. Much of this influence, of course, is constructive, but some of it is not. In their quest for independence, many children and adolescents do not see that their peer culture is often nastier than anything they confront at home. Parents, teachers, and coaches do not always exercise the beneficial influence open to them. The situation is not hopeless, however.
Adults still have enormous influence on the formation of boys' character.
As an invitation to adult readers to think deeply about their own characters and their own interactions with boys, I have reported on my upbringing by parents who had their own pressures that handicapped their capacity to be the parents they wanted to be. My story, like everyone's, is a reassurance that perfection is not the standard so far as character goes. We all have our slips. What is accessible to us is an opportunity to acknowledge our slips, and then to do better. It is the open-endedness of character formation that consoles us all.