The transition time between households can be an especially difficult time, Gold-Steinberg says. Not only does it represent separation from someone the child loves, but Mom's and Dad's homes may have different rules and routines they have to adjust to. Furthermore, it may be the only time when parents interact and is a prime time for arguments to occur. Divorcing parents, she says, need to recognize that although their marriage is ending, they will continue to have a relationship as parents. Children also need their parents to understand and acknowledge their feelings about the divorce.
Children show their reactions to divorce in many different ways.
Anger is the most common emotion, but children also may experience confusion, sadness or relief. It's important to understand your children's needs when working out custody arrangements, she notes. Custody arrangements are sometimes built more on what seems fair to parents rather than what's best for the kids. Joint custody can be very hard for kids where they have two homes and never feel quite settled. Finally, says Gold-Steinberg, adults themselves need a lot of refueling in order not to get burned out from the stresses of single parenthood.