I had to develop an entire self. As far as characterization, Shelly's story is closest to my own, but it was the entire family that really intrigued me. I met Grace Paley who suggested that I write what I don't know about what I know, which really resonated for me. So I began to really get to know Frannie, who is hipper, funnier, and more fearless than I could ever hope to be. Many people think I'm Frannie, but I'm not.
Books are funny that way.
The story is not my story per se, but most of the emotional tension and dynamics are mine. Shelly loses herself in anorexia, while Frannie loses herself in men. An overriding factor that emerged is that women are given many mixed messages as children, and the imprints last long into adulthood. I believe that the self is a continually emerging and changing entity, but it needs a strong foundation to survive and flourish. So, in truth, my foundation was shaky to begin with and as I got older, I became more confused until I was whirling in an emotional vortex that was the result of an incredible void.