Cucumbers are very easy to pick up. Cucumbers aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits and nuts. Cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations. Cucumbers aren't jealous. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
Cucumbers can handle rejection.
Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot. Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold. Cucumbers don't get too excited. Cucumbers don't have sex hangups.