The content in this section is based on VBSR Human Resource Circle Group handouts from Friday, April 11, 1997. The presenting problem is almost never the real problem. Getting stuck in the former isolates you from yourself and others and prevents resolution. To resolve conflict, you need to create a safe space. A safe space is one in which you feel free to share your vulnerabilities, knowing that you won't be judged, attacked or be reacted to.
Conflict is about intimacy.
To be intimate requires doing something that will get attention. Being human, we tend to create some kind of negativity in order to be noticed. The core of real connection is shared pain. Change occurs right at the edge of your comfort zone. Our comfort zone is a place we go to heal, to relax, to be quiet.