My child will always be a failure. He will be irresponsible or a criminal. We waste energy and cause ourselves to feel hopeless by worrying about things we cannot control or predict. My child should act like other children. I should not have to teach him or treat him differently than other children.
All children learn at different rates.
Children DO need to be taught how to behave, but some may take longer to master certain behaviors. Just as children need extra instruction for math or reading, for example, some children may need extra behavioral supports. My child must do well in school to be viewed as successful. It is defined differently by everybody. Be open-minded about what it means to be successful in your family.