They are caught in the dilemma of whether to assert themselves and their needs and risk losing their relationships or to submerge themselves, comply with others, and thereby lose their self. Their solution is to decline or delay either option and rather to embrace all sides of an issue, so as not to have to choose. Merging with others is their personality's attempt to compensate for their sense of separation. In fact when they wake up, they discover themselves, not enmeshed in ersatz intimate relationships, but intimately suffused with love. They were loved and loving all along.
Differences appear in the theories of childhood development.
They are, I believe, and more as well. According to Ichazo and the Arica Training, Enneagram type Nine is said to be the over non-conformist who lacks the psycho catalyzer of Holy Love, love that runs the cosmos. Nines feel they haven't gotten their share of love. They are out of touch with their essence and so look outside themselves because they are afraid there is nothing inside. They are neglectful and indolent with their inner self.