College is a time of exploration, trying new things, grown our personalities. Then you'll find out if you grew together or apart. If you don't give up control, then the other person doesn't have it. It takes two people to agree to have sex, and only one to prevent it. Rather than playing painful games it might be better to find someone more compatible.
Affection is nice too.
It could be about how life is turning out, it could be a lingering frustration, it could be a dance of power, etc. That's what therapy attempts to do. Often, a counselor can point out what is really going on. You might need to explore this and be honest to come to an understanding. One of the common problems is the conflict resolution process.