A marriage and both partners in the marriage go through many stages during the course of a lifetime. The practice of love necessarily brings Christians into the paschal mystery of Christ. In light of this mystery a couple can come to view the discomfort of change as an invitation and opportunity, forcing them out of old patterns into new life. Commitment to growth includes willingness to deal with differences in a marriage. Whether differences center on furniture arrangements in the living room, money management, or the selection of a vacation spot, they provide one of the principal occasions for gift-giving in a marriage.
Differences frequently require compromise, a letting go which is the path to greater unity.
When couples approach differences in a spirit of Christian love, these differences can lead to greater understanding, trust, and closeness. On the way, however, I may be asked to lay down my life for my friend. This is especially true in our present cultural context. Divorce rates are high. In light of the pressures of marriage and the constantly changing values of the surrounding culture, many today are reluctant to make permanent commitments.