Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite last week's episode of south park verbatim. You will never rent more movies in your life. No one is too old for video games. The health service nurses are there because they couldn't make it at a real hospital. Never, ever forget that.
Care packages are right up there with birthdays.
The campus is only clean on parents' weekend and freshman orientation. It never stunk so much to get sick. Nothing you want to register for will be open. Beware of the freshman 15. Be creative in the dining hall.