A cucumber won't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow. A cucumber won't make you sleep on the wet spot. A cucumber won't grab cash from your purse while you're asleep. A cucumber won't come home late, stinking of beer. A cucumber won't run off with a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
All cucumbers are fresh and juicy.
You can keep as many cucumbers as you want. Your mother won't flip out finding a cucumber in your house. Cucumbers don't jam the freezer with food you don't like. Cucumbers don't stay up until 4 and then demand that you take care of them when they get sick. Cucumbers don't mind if you enjoy them and a movie at the same time.