As my compulsive gambling began and worsened, however, I began to pull away from people. It was essential to keep friends and family from knowing what I was doing because it was so clearly irrational and destructive. Lack of feedback also helped me with my denial process. Now that I have abstained from gambling I find the tendency to isolate, to keep apart from my fellow humans has remained. A tool of the trade.
Anger is another tool.
It calmed me down, took me away. Without vigilance, these outbursts could have me on a stool in front of a video poker machine in minutes. Lying is another tool. One of the most disturbing aspects of my decline into the horror of compulsive gambling was the damage to my integrity and habitual honesty. A trade from which I now abstain.