When beer goes flat you toss it out. Beer is never late. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down gently.