You have a conniption over spilled milk. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. You get drunk just so you can sober up. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You chew on other people's fingernails.
Cocaine is a downer.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You don't need a hammer to pound in nails. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down. Instant coffee takes too long.