All the times we were not understood, not valued, not nurtured, not supported, not given a chance, not treated fairly . . . So long as those memories are accessible they can ruin a perfectly nice day by invading our consciousness and causing us to relive those conditions as though they were happening again. Forever, in fact, unless we halt those memories as they come up and direct our attention toward being productive in our life at present. Indulging the memories gives them power. Overriding them gives us hope.
Anger is to be expressed at the time and to the degree it is felt.
Then it is released, and the enduring emotion, love, returns. If we manipulate the anger, by denying or suppressing it, then our anger becomes manipulative. It loses its integrity. It becomes untrustworthy and unloving. Expressing the anger ensures it cannot accumulate and become the uncontrolled, uncontrollable, destructive condition of rage.