No wonder you're feeling like everything you do is going backwards. You are undeniably overwhelmed by everything that's been happening in your life. You should be concentrating on healing yourself right now. I cannot stress enough how extremely important a positive mental attitude is for you at this time in your life. I know it will be difficult, but always try to think of positive, healing energy surrounding yourself at all times and take special care that you only send out positive energy as well.
All thoughts are energy.
Most of us don't realize that our random, negative thoughts can and do manifest sometimes as psychic attack. It is entirely possible that you may be the victim of psychic attack. All of this and anything else negative, named and unnamed, Is dissolved and released and turned to good, in my life and the lives of my loved ones. In the names of my Deities In the name of You, Diana, Hecate, Selene, Kernunnos and Pan.