Just as it is illogical and wrong to assume that adolescents are the problem, so too is it wrong-headed to think that the solution is to punish, restrict, curtail, or refuse to support them. Our own reporting for PBS provides a powerful antidote to the anti-youth virus. For nearly a year, we shadowed 14 young adolescents, ages 11 to 14, as they made their way around New York City. These young adolescents are typical kids, the 99 percent who never make the nightly news. Their lives contradict the myths about adolescents that seem to dominate adult thinking, and adult rule-making.
Adolescents yearn to be independent of adults, particularly their parents.
And we must let go of them, so they can establish autonomy. What most young people seek is not separation from their parents but opportunities to renegotiate their relationship as time passes. Most teenagers describe their parents as supportive and caring, and they add that they know other adults they can talk to. Adolescents need connections to adults in order to refrain from dangerous habits, do well in school, and find their place in the world. These connections are primarily defined by love, respect, and high expectations.