This is my first posting, and as I've yet to receive any postings from others, I'm wondering if in fact the feelings of being alone in this situation is reality. I have searched not only online, but also for Psychotherapist that work with abusers and have not found anyone that appears to relate. Jack, you are not alone.
Angry people are just less likely to vent than are victim people.
They are also poorer communicators in general than are victim people - so there is less correspondence. You are right about not being enough resources. More are needed. We have been married for almost 27 years, and I have been told that I have been verbally abusive for the whole marriage. I have listened to what she has to say and agreed to seek counseling.