Your heart is being pulled in so many directions you can't help but feel so torn. Once you can stop this inner battle you can start to begin the healing. Ideally, no one should be dependent on your abusive father. Your mom needs to break the cycle of abuse and you need to stop feeling this heavy burden and guilt. Your relationship with your boyfriend belongs to you, and no one else.
Communicating is part of a healthy loving.
You're an adult and you have a right to share your thoughts and feelings with the people closest to your heart. This is an amazing crossroads full of endless hope. Keep talking, keep sharing, and let today be the day you find hope and start healing. Unfortunately he lives across the country, and we don't see each other all often. We were only together for two weeks, but I completely fell for him.