I too have ADD, just confirmed by our family counselor last week. What brought me to the counselor was the decision to look at the home enviroment. When my husband was alive there was some structure at home. He died almost ten years ago so you can see that the kids are being brought up in a whirlwind enviroment. Your sons will certainly learn from your behaviors.
Actions speak louder than words.
They also were born with personalities of their own which may be genetically based. Many studies have been done to determine nature vs nurture and opinions exist on both sides of this issue. In my opinion, children model behaviors as well as learn their own style of behavior patterns based on their temperments. Since you no longer have your husband as the coach, it may be a good idea to seek professional coaching. I will add your name to the free monthly newsletter mailing list and will forward the most recent issue.