Addictive sex is mere sex, sex for its own sake, sex divorced from authentic interaction of persons. This is most clear with regard to fantasy, pornography and masturbation. Addictive sex is victimizing. The overwhelming obsession with self-gratification blinds the addict to the harmful effect his behavior is having on others. Sex addicts need to be helped so that victimization is stopped.
Addictive sex ends in despair.
When married couples make love, they are more fulfilled for having had the experience. Addictive sex leaves the participants feeling guilty regretting the experience. Rather than fulfilling, it is empty, and they despair over who they had sex with or how low they stooped to have it. In these dark moments of despair the addict most likely feels abandoned by God. Often they think to themselves of how badly they want to stop and want help, but they do not know how to stop or where to turn.