A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. A cucumber doesn't have a mother. A cucumber doesn't have an ex-wife. Cucumbers are easy to pick up. A cucumber doesn't get involved in child custody cases.
Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. You can go to a movie with a cucumber and see the movie. At a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat. A cucumber can always wait until you get home. A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne film festival.