Read this excerpt from Schnarch and decide what you should do with your heart. Loving is not for the weak. Therapists encourage people to love and desire their partner, never realising what they are encouraging them to do.
Desire involves wanting and longing.
The reason there are so many mediocre relationships isn't because so many people are pathological or have imaginary family 'diseases'. It's because the really good relationships will break your heart. In a long-term relationship, one partner will bury the other. The more a person wants and loves a partner, the more painful it will be when he or she loses them. There are all too few people developed enough to stand by themselves, hold their own hand through the loss of a partner and accept life on its own terms.