I really believe that community members will work out most of the conflicts between themselves. They usually do. There are, of course, exceptions. I'll send e-mail to someone I believe is behaving errantly. In the mail I will usually ask for an explanation of the behavior.
Deliberate abuse is another issue.
Abuse should not be tolerated. However, it is not always easy to tell when someone is being abusive, or just demonstrative. I cannot tell the difference between someone who actually intends harm, or an 'in joke' between friends. It all looks the same in cyberspace. The only way to discern this is experience.