BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids. BEER doesn't get cramps. BEER doesn't have a mother. BEER doesn't have morals. BEER doesn't go crazy once a month.
BEER always listens and never argues.
BEER labels don't go out of style every year. BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles. BEER doesn't demand legality. BEER is never overweight. If you change BEERs, you don't have to pay alimony.