Once you have accepted that you cannot stop him from drinking, you have to move to a position where you do not enable his drinking. Tell him firmly that if he is drinking that you will leave the house. And then do it - with the children. Take them somewhere. This may be where alanon may be useful - you may meet people who will help you.
Alcoholism is fatal.
In all cases. Most drunks never find AA until they have hit bottom. They lose everything - their jobs, their possessions, their families. It could be that the only way that you can save your marriage is to separate from him until he sobers up. This may wake him up while still preserving some vestige of love or respect for him in your heart.