Through teaching him the importance of honesty, integrity, patience and persever-ance, I get to model and be reminded, at a fundamental level, of the strength I have to live those qualities daily. Part of my personality is that I want to appear tough, that I can withstand, or dish out, vast quantities of physical or emotional pain. But once I had a child I knew that I had to start chipping away at that unnecessary armor. I wanted my child to know that I was accessible, human. Daddy feels pain.
Daddy makes mistakes.
Whatever I feel makes it safe for him to feel. I wanted him to know that he could feel all his feelings and that I wouldn't go away. I give this gift to my son. That tough shell of mine has transformed. Our world is relatively peaceful, not only at bedtime, but also when somebody cuts me off while I'm driving, or on other occasions when I am instantly triggered to anger.