But when it comes to life's end, parents can fall strangely silent. The feelings and perspectives of children are overlooked, perhaps because of denial, a belief that children cannot understand, fear of the unknown, or simply a wish to escape responsibility. There are several misconceptions adults have when it comes to talking to a child about death. When an adult believes a child cannot experience the realities of loss and emotional pain, they risk a misunderstanding and may encourage misconception about the facts of death. This may result in severe emotional problems throughout the child's life.
Children growing up today are more aware of death than most adults realize.
But children may not understand what they see because of adult secrecy. Parents and grandparents, teachers, clergy, health professionals and friends can heighten the child's feeling of isolation by acting as though nothing significant has occurred, when an arm around the shoulders, a warm handshake, an expression of sympathy or simply recognition would bring great comfort. Children should be allowed to express themselves and to give vent to their grief. They need to be encouraged to ask questions and get straight, truthful responses. Some of their questions may be unanswerable.