Masturbation couldn't be controlled. When you're tired, sleep is best. Forget about gymnastics. In most places, it's considered bad etiquette to spit on other people. The great thing about shoes is, it doesn't matter which one you put on first.
Calculators are really terrific for math, but worthless pieces of shit when it comes to history.
If you take a hammer, and start smashing your finger, then stick it in a blender, it's gonna hurt. You can't deny that fresh vegetables are healthy. Fresh maggots are a whole different story. All homeless persons should add windows and garden gnomes to make their boxes seem homier. Any woman buying stretch pants size 16 or larger should be issued a matching cape.