Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Don't squat with your spurs on. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. If you drink, don't park.
Accidents cause people.
Some days you are the dog, some days you are the hydrant. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. A closed mouth gathers no foot.