What each of us faces instead is a lifelong series of imperfect moments in which we must decide what to stand for. It teaches us not to get involved in shaping the world we'll pass on to our children. In other words, loving children is fundamental to our public lives and commitments. Loeb suggests parents set models of community involvement or withdrawal for their children. Loeb quotes Harvard public policy professor Robert Putnam's finding that over the past several decades more Americans have been bowling, while league bowling has steadily declined.
Communities can also have their limits.
Loeb discusses vulnerability and calls it both an asset and a limitation. He suggests there's a fine line between being vulnerable enough to listen, ask for help, and accept that you don't know everything, and being so vulnerable that you give up hope of being able to achieve anything. Loeb tells how his friend Jorge, a doctor who volunteered in Nicaragua, lost faith in his ability to make a difference. While believing in what he did, Jorge was overwhelmed because he could not address all areas of an issue at once. They remain caring and compassionate, but they've lost faith in their voices.