We all have one or two lurking in our e-mail box. If we use it, we'll send you a sacbee T-shirt. Not a bad trade for Spam, really.
Anonymous guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk and walked up to the leader of the gang.