The reunion of an adoptee and birth family members affects both your immediate and extended family. Children of both the adoptee and birth family member need to be clear about whom they are meeting and their relationship to them. Birth parents may not have shared the existence of the adoptee with their other children born after an adoption and this is an important hurdle to overcome before proceeding. Often adoptive parents need to be educated about the needs of the searching adoptee and to be assured that pursuit of a reunion is a normal, natural outcome of adoption. They are likely to feel anxious at the time of the reunion and worry that their relationship with their adopted son or daughter will suffer as a result.
Communication is very important.
Recognizing these complex thoughts and feelings and discussing them openly is not always easy, so be sure to approach your reunion counsellor for help and support with these important issues. Adoption reunions are complex, not only because they bring together two families, but also because there are no rules or conventions for these new relationships. Open discussion is an important part of discovering new ways of relating to one another. Exchanging information If you choose a reunion, the first step is to exchange information with your birth relative by writing to them. A letter is a good way of getting to know the person you are going to meet.