One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.