Now make sure no one's looking. We can't have anyone reading over your shoulder. The highlight of the event is always the members-only auction, where each member is allowed to consign two pieces of graniteware. And consign they do. Socks all over the floor.
Competition gets so hot that bid cards have been known to spontaneously burst into flames.
Of course society members will probably deny that too. I'd heard about the auction through a source who shall remain anonymous. We'll call the source Deep Bidder. Deep Bidder warned me that since I wasn't a member, it wouldn't be easy getting into the auction. Renegades like me haven't been welcome in the past.