You don't have to be jealous of the guy working on your boat. You don't deal with priests or blood tests when registering your boat. If you say bad things to your boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride again. You can ride in your boat as much as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't keep in touch with your old boats after you dump them.
Boats always feel like going for a ride.
Boats don't insult you if you're a bad driver. Your boat never wants a night out alone with other boats. Boats don't care if you're late. You don't have to take a shower before driving your boat. It's always O.K. to use tie-downs on your boat.