"eventually realised he was chatting utter shit" (S5)
Creators: name: Team, Gen Z
Publisher: name: University of Oxford
Year: 2024
Subjects: classificationCode: 500501
subject: Theology

description: eventually realised he was chatting utter shit and trying to indoctrinate her like those stupid fucking Mormons always knocking on her door. She smiled, realising that she was exactly the sort of person who could be easily seduced by a cult. Extremely gullible and easily manipulated, she had always struggled to find men with good intentions.

Struck by a twinge of pain, she thought back to her ex Michael – who serially gaslit her.

“You stupid fucking bitch”, she chuckled, recalling walking in on Mike having sex with her other ex Jake. After calling her a dumb cunt he had knocked her lights out and set to convincing all her friends and family that she had fallen down the stairs and had invented false memories so when she came to would probably say loads of dumb shit. “Can’t believe I fucking believed him!” she muttered and punched a dent into the pillow to her left. It was only after several years of hypotherapy that she had rediscovered her authentic memories of that day. At least all those years hadn’t been a waste for him – he’d got a husband out of it! She rolled her eyes and tore the wedding invite to shreds bitterly.

Maybe it would simpler to be in one of those cults after all. At least then she would be sheltered from all this pain and all her life would be taken up by stupid superstition and superiority complexes about not drinking coffee or having premarital sex or whatever it was those fuckers spent their time doing. The control would all be in someone else’s hands – how therapeutic.

“NO!”, she shouted suddenly. No-one should have that much power over someone else’s life, even if they want it as part of their bullshit religious doctrine.

She was so incensed that she got to her feet and rushed to the door, adrenaline pumping in her veins. Unsure of what she was about to she put her foot on the ignition.

She started driving and before long found herself at the local Mormon temple. Still unsure of where this was going she burst through the doors. The congregation stirred and turned around to see what was going on.

“Dearest friend, we have been expecting you”, said a lanky man serenely from the front of the temple.

“Fucking hell, it’s that deranged cow whose door I knocked on earlier. She doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself, the selfish whore”, came a voice from the pews.

“Fuck you, you polygamist slag!” she screamed and launched herself across the room at the voice.

“At least someone wants to shag me, bitch”, the woman retorted. Jesse swung and missed, but the other woman was too fast. She pulled her trousers down and slapped Jesse’s bare arse. There were gasps from all around. Then, as though putting salt in the wound, she clutched Jesse’s face and pulled her lips towards hers as though in a kiss, but at the last moment slapped her vigorously around the face. Jesse fell backwards and caught her head on the edge of the wooden pew in her descent. She was vaguely aware of some maniacal cacking, and then all went black.

She came to and heard the faint beeping of some sort of monitor behind her. Peeking through her eyes she saw Jake. Incredulous, she sat up suddenly.

“It’s sad really, she’s been having all of these delusions. Every few minutes there’s another one – the consequences of an overactive imagination I guess”, he said and nervously chuckled, looking back at her glumly.