This DVD is barely 30 minutes long, and has dull interviews that reveal that the average Slipknotian has an IQ of around 30. But these aspects are the least problematic here.

The real trouble is that Slipknot is one of the least talented metal bands to ever sell over 100,000 units of their crap. (The only reason I say "one of the" instead of "the" is because System Of A Down are even worse.) Much like Ed Gein's girlfriends, this band's music is pieced together from age-old metal clichés, which are to be found in both their image and their ultra-dull music. In fact, their image is kind of fun; their videos are like snippets from cheesy horror films hence they fulfill at least some purpose as entertainment.

Their music, however, consists of nothing of quality - whatsoever: just a bunch of gimmicky, heard-them-a-million-times-before played-solely-at-the-guitar-neck riffs that are in no way related to each other and yet are randomly grouped together to form "songs" that have no cohesion, no highlights, no nothing. But if the riffs are truly bad, then the vocals are even worse: Slipknot's singer has a stereotypical hence uninteresting "evil" growl - the kind 90% of all metal bands today have - but that is nothing compared to when this deluded hick starts trying to sing! Still, what could one expect? Rule no.39 of the "Nu Metal" handbook says quite clearly: "You will alternately growl and sing. Ignore the fact that the two styles don't mix well, because most of your fans are so tone-deaf they will love you even if you **** into the microphone." Slipknot are at their absolute worst when their "singer" starts belching out "melodies".

But back to their image. It's stolen, copied, ripped off, nicked, borrowed, taken without asking from none other than Mr.Bungle. You've never heard of them? Of course you haven't. You only listen to nu-metal, and Mr.Bungle is quite far from that, and beyond any categorization anyway. They too wore masks - grotesque, horror ones, similar to those of Slipknot, I might add - in the late 80s and early 90s. This band, whose frontman is Mike Patton from Faith No More, never hit it big because their music wasn't directed toward the average music fans (to put it mildly).

So, basically Slipknot aren't even original in the image department. They have nothing at all new to offer hence will be forgotten in several years: once the masks become boring to the legions of their zit-faced fans, which is when Slipknot will be forced to compete in the music market solely with their generic music.

Speaking of Mike Patton, it's interesting that a number of nu-metal bands often site his singing as a major influence. Predictably - and thankfully - Patton is not flattered by this and has denied being in any way proud to have been an influence for one of the worst metal sub-genres ever...

Having said that, enjoy this short DVD and the cheap thrills it might provide to the untrained ear and bored eye... And then polish those Slipknot posters, because in a few years no-one will be taking care of them, the poor dears.

Having seen Corey in the documentary "Get Thrashed", I finally understand why he wears a mask: he is a blue-eyed baby-faced ginger, looking like Dave Mustaine's younger brother! Not exactly scary.

For more of my music-world rants, go to: http://rateyourmusic.com/collection/Fedor8/1

Please punish me hard, very HARD, by clicking "no" below. That'll teach me...
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