Plankton, or Creatures from the Abyss as I'm positive it's more commonly known as & filmed under as the title Creatures from the Abyss appears over a moving image & in the same font type as the rest of the credits, starts with five 20 something kids, Mike (Clay Rogers) his girlfriend Margaret (Sharon Twomey), sisters Julie (Ann Wolf) & Dorothy (Loren DePalm) & an annoying idiot named Bobby (Michael Bon) whom decide to all fit into a small rubber boat & head out to sea, don't ask why as I don't know. Oh & the complete idiot Bobby left the petrol behind & never thought to tell anyone so it comes as no great surprise that they end up stranded out at sea without any petrol for the motor & to make matters worse they become trapped in a thunder storm & discover a dead body floating in the water. Shortly after their luck seems to change when they come across a yacht & potential safety, in a flash everyone boards the yacht & begin to explore. First of all they find a scientific lab with various fish specimens & computer equipment, then down below they find fully furnished & luxurious cabins. They find a chemist (Deran Sarafian) who appears mad & can't talk. They eat fish from the fridge which makes Dorothy puke up green vomit, beetles & slugs. They learn that these fish are living fossil's 1000's of years old & have been contaminated by toxic waste dumped in the sea & that they fly, mutate, bite & are generally unpleasant to be around. I really can't be bothered to go on with this plot outline so I won't, here's what I think...

This Italian production was produced & directed by Massimiliano Cerchi under the pseudonym Al Passeri (I'd hide under a different name if I made a film this bad too) & I think Plankton is quite simply one of the worst films ever, there are so many things wrong with this film it's difficult to know where to start. First the script by Richard Baumann is total crap, it makes no sense whatsoever & is so slow & dull it was torture for me to sit through. Why would five people just simply set sail for the middle of the ocean on a rubber dinghy barely big enough to fit them all in? What were they planning on doing exactly? Why do we often get point-of-view shots from these fish creatures but they seem to be totally invisible to the characters as they are never shown on screen even though they are right next to a character, & how do these fish get around the boat as there is no water for them to swim in? People's actions & reactions to things are all wrong, they constantly split up, they make bizarre decisions that simply don't make any sense in the situation they find themselves in & some of the dialogue is as awful as anything I've heard. I could go on all day about all the plot holes & ridiculous goings on but I'll run out of space if I do. The fish creatures themselves look awful, a mixture of rubbish rubber puppets & some really bad stop motion animation at the end, the scenes where they interact with the human cast also look terrible with some bad super imposition. I have heard a lot of comments saying that Plankton is gory, don't make me laugh! Forget it there is virtually no blood or gore in Plankton whatsoever, there are a couple of slimy scenes when Bobby transforms into a fish monster while having sex with Julie but it's pretty brief & he doesn't kill her, he just sort of drips slime on her, grows a couple of tentacles & a fish head comes out of his mouth. Later on Julie's vagina starts to drip some dark slime but that's it, we never get to actually see what happens to her or what the slime is. Dorothy has a fish creature come out of her back, off screen, & control her but again we never get to see what happens to her while Margaret commits suicide, a very brief shot of a plastic harpoon stuck to her forehead. Easily the grossest scene is when Dorothy pukes up that green stuff with what looks like beetles & slugs in it. That's it, only one person actually dies on screen & for the most part Plankton is quite tame & as exciting as watching paint dry & I nearly fell asleep it's so boring. I can't see how anybody can like this total crap, I just can't. The acting is awful, the dubbing is awful, the characters are awful & I hated all of them. Tecnically Plankton is predictably crap as well, with an estimated budget of only $250,000 all I can say is where did the money go? The sets are monotonous & dull with one lab & a few cabins, the special effect's are bottom of the barrel stuff including the most fake looking exploding boat ever, the cinematography is bland, the music sucks there is zero atmosphere or tension & as a whole Plankton, like it's name sake, is as low in the food chain as it could possibly be. I hate Plankton, it's awful in every single aspect of it's overlong 86 minute duration. Do yourself a favour & avoid this one at all costs unless your either a masochist or insomniac.

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