Write a negative movie review.

First of all, I would like to clarify that I consider this one of the funniest films I have ever seen. I have watched it almost 10 times just because I've wished to spread the deliciously tasteless innards of this film to other unsuspecting victims. It has the captivating essence of a hand-held camera recording of a distant nephew's seventh birthday. It has all the writing of a WWE match. And most of all, it has the consistency of a face scraped along a sidewalk. This movie is a masterpiece.

The film begins with an almost instantaneous mutilation of three, drunken teens in the desert. This scene convinced me that I was onto something big when I picked this film from the DVD rack (being drawn to the box because of the graphic of a velociraptor yelling the word "RAPTOR" on the front of it). The scene contains such treasures as tomato sauce, spaghetti intestines, vain attempts at humour and rubbery dinosaur puppets that repeat throughout the course of the movie. This movie is a masterpiece.

The film contains erratic backdrops and prop use that causes one's mind to melt at the thought that someone could just have so little shame when it comes to creating a film. An example is when a truck, in the middle of the night, is parked beside a cliff wall. The very next day, they find it in an open grassy area. The driver couldn't have driven it there since he had his face bitten off by an unnamed bipedal carnivore (I will explain why it's unnamed in a second). So, my only guess is that either the velociraptor drove it, the livestock the driver was transporting did it, or Jim Wynorski doesn't think very highly of his viewers. Hell, in one part they expect me to believe that they are walking down a main street at night when the road doesn't have gutters, the fire hydrant is precariously placed next to a phone booth, and there's only a single street light. Yet, still, I feel compelled to watch and re-watch this film, just so I can find more things that will make me giggle the next time I watch it. This film is a masterpiece.

The directing on this film is horrific. Long extended pauses. Strange cuts to characters that weren't even in the general vicinity of the conversation. People discussing things casually while facing the camera (and in turn, making them face the wall). They can't even give the dinosaur a coherent species, flipping between calling it a baby dinosaur and using a rubber velociraptor puppet (distinguished by the intensely long, fat, disproportionate claw). This film is a masterpiece.

The editing is prominent on this film. This is not a good thing. I am well aware that the film is a collection of scenes from other films, masterfully crafted into a single piece of crap, but there has to be a limit! Sub plots end as abruptly as they began. Explanations for the sudden disappearance of characters not being limited to, well, not being explained at all! And an ending that felt like driving a muscle car into a brick wall without a seat belt. You just never know what is going to happen because the film doesn't follow a coherent structure. This film is a masterpiece.

Now, I'm going to just have to mention a single scene (the greatest one) that occurs near the end. This is a spoiler, but not really. The final scene contains a showdown between tyrannosaurus rex and Sheriff Tanner. It is like the showdown between Sigourney Weaver and the Alien Queen in Aliens, except without all the emotional power/budget/epic battling. It pretty consists of Tanner ramming the dinosaur with a piece of construction machinery. A white bobcat. In a space of several minutes, through a series of sneakily slipped in cuts, the director manages to turn that white bobcat into a yellow forklift/crane looking piece of machinery. Now, as I said, I know that this film is made from scenes from other films, but what two films warrant a showdown with a t-rex in a construction vehicle? This film is a masterpiece.

This film gets a 1/10 for quality of film making, but a 10/10 for how much it makes me laugh and enjoy myself.