premise: I am 36 this year ... the marker when miscarriage rates significantly go up ... god help me . I should be content with my son .... but the biological push to reproduce and the grief push to fix the " void " from the loss of my babies .... keeps the debate alive in me . Angel 's abrupt death ... after such a run ... makes the family making feel " unfinished " in me . Why am I 36 this year ?
hypothesis: Because miscarriage rates significantly go up