premise: Which is always nice . It 's a bit verbose in places and perhaps even a bit cliched , but this IS a first draft after all . Oh , and I saw " Mamma Mia " yesterday afternoon . Quite enjoyable , a nice bit of fluff . Why am I critiquing this first draft by saying it 's a bit verbose and cliched ?
hypothesis: I am a songwriter and I am offering advice to a colleague of mine who is starting to sing too .