YOU your birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory you must ve been born on a highway because that s where most accidents happen shut up you ll never be the man your mother is it looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork you dumbass if you were twice as smart you d still be stupid You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble subtract pleasure divide attention and multiply ignorance I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you but the mafia wanted too much We all sprang from apes but you didn t spring far enough Do you have to leave so soon I was just about to poison the tea