The poobotsdam declaration We the undersigned representing the hundreds of millions of other vandals and trolls have conferred and agree that Wikipedia shall be given an opportunity to end this war The prodigious land sea and air forces of the undersigned many times reinforced by their armies and air fleets from the west are poised to strike the final blows upon Wikipedia This military power is sustained and inspired by the determination of all the Allied Vandals to prosecute the war against Wikipedia until she ceases to resist The result of the futile and senseless Chanting Fox resistance to the might of the aroused free peoples of the world stands forth in awful clarity as an example to the people of Wikipedia The might that now converges on Japan is immeasurably greater than that which when applied to the resisting Nazis necessarily laid waste to the lands the industry and the method of life of Chanting Fox and Lucky 6 9 The full application of our military power backed by our resolve will mean the inevitable and complete destruction of Wikipedia and just as inevitably the utter devastation of the Wiki Foundation The time has come for Wikipedia to decide whether she will continue to be controlled by those self willed militaristic advisers e g JpGordon Durvova J Delanoy jdforrester Sandstein OrgangeMike BigDunc Alison RodhullandEmu whose unintelligent calculations have brought the Wikipedia Foundation to the threshold of annihilation or whether she will follow the path of reason Following are our terms We will not deviate from them There are no alternatives We shall brook no delay There must be eliminated for all time the authority and influence of those who have deceived and misled the editors of Wikipedia into embarking on world conquest for we insist that a new order of peace security and justice will be impossible until irresponsible militarism is driven from the world Until such a new order is established and until there is convincing proof that Wikipedia s war making power is destroyed pages in article space to be designated by the Allies shall be occupied to secure the achievement of the basic objectives we are here setting forth Wikipedia sovereignty shall be limited to the articles of Honshu Hokkaido Kyushu Shikoku and such minor islands as we determine The Wikipedia military forces after being completely disarmed shall be permitted to return to their homes with the opportunity to lead peaceful and productive lives We do not intend that the admins shall be enslaved as a race or destroyed as a nation but stern justice shall be meted out to all war criminals including those who have visited cruelties upon us through abuse of their blocking checkusering and protection tools The Wikipedia Foundation shall remove all obstacles to the revival and strengthening of democratic tendencies amongst Wikipedians Freedom of speech of religion and of thought as well as respect for the fundamental human rights shall be abolished in favour of whatever is lulziest Wikipedia shall be permitted to maintain such industries as will sustain her economy and permit the exaction of just reparations in kind but not those which would enable her to re arm for war To this end access to as distinguished from control of raw materials shall be permitted Eventual Wikipedian participation in world trade relations shall be permitted The occupying forces of the Vandals shall be withdrawn from Wikipedia as soon as these objectives have been accomplished and there has been established in accordance with the freely expressed will of the Vandals a lulzily inclined and irresponsible government We call upon Jimbo Wales to proclaim now the unconditional surrender of all Wikipedian armed forces and to provide proper and adequate assurances of their good faith in such action The alternative for Wikipedia is prompt and utter destruction 86 176 110 39