I agree that the prose style in the paragraph is lacking if only a little For instance the sentance those whose entire culture assumed they were a god such as with the pharaohs could easily be condensed to those who were culturally assumed to be gods such as Egyptian pharoahs and to be entirely accurate pun I would have to add the pre Columbian Meso American kings to that phrase and any other God kings In removing the word entire we remove any subjectivity Was every single person in Egypt under the impression the pharoah was a god Even the poor bastard who had to carry his stool out to dispose of it More than likely not As I pointed out above the title is merely unweildy and very well elementary to the impartial observer