A Diversion Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying Greetings Earthling We come in peace Take us to your leader The gas pump of course didn t respond The younger alien became angry at the lack of response The older alien said I d calm down if I were you The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting Again there was no response Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump s haughty attitude he drew his ray gun and said impatiently Greetings Earthling We come in peace Do not ignore us this way Take us to your leader or I will fire The older alien again warned his comrade saying You probably don t want to do that I really don t think you should make him mad Rubbish replied the cocky young alien He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire There was a huge explosion A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch Half an hour passed until he finally regained consciousness Refocusing his three eyes he straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head What a ferocious creature exclaimed the young fried alien He damn near killed me How did you know he was so dangerous The older alien leaned over placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied If there s one thing I ve learned during my intergalactic travels you don t want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder and stick it in his ear Enjoy your evening Doug Time to Escalate