be with you The Force is something that makes others do things and stuff float at our command It was discovered by George Lucas and revealed in his seven and two thirds part documentary Star Wars Mark Hamill can use it but Harrison Ford can not Not even while canoeing a fjord The Force and Religion In the essential melodrama of Force wielding George Lucas uncovers the struggle of Light vs Dark in his aforementioned documentary Star Wars During the filming Lucas resided with and studied a small group of Jedi Catholic monks who police and protect the Galaxy in accordance with the Gospel description of Jesus work We learn early that the Jedi manipulate small bits of The Force by controlling ther emotion waving their hands around in odd and nondescript ways and moving junk around via telepathy Soon we encounter the Sith pimps of the Galaxy who use the Dark Side of the Force for to fulfill their passions for beer and hookers gambling and unlimited power The Dark Side of course is a double edge sword or more accurately a red lightpaper it can cut the shit outta yo hands unless you hold it the right way It is for this reason that many Sith have met their untimely demise falling down shafts and electrocuting things as their dead ass falls The Force and the Jedi Order Jedi training in the Presbyterian faith under Britney Spears an anagram of Presbyterians is a strenous and ancient ritual Boys and girls who show marked skills with the Force are granted training at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant where they learn Jedi skills included amongst the many lightsaber fighting moving stuff with your mind and convincing people these aren t the droids they re looking for While spending a number of years getting shot by remote droids young Jedis in training learn about Jesus and his works and the apostles who were the first Jedi The Jedi Order has come under some severe scrutiny since a number of Padawan molestation cases during training in the Outer Rim territories Cardinal Yoda remains pensive The earliest recording of The Force is when Moses crossed the Delaware The second most Holy day of the Jedi Order is May 4th colloquially recognized as May the 4th Be With You day The first most Holy day is Hannukah The Force and the Sith Lordth Many religious scholars blame the Sith or the Jews either way for the murder and crucifiction of Jesus after Jesus balanced the Force However many agree except for those fascist scholarly types that the Sith did not murder Jesus for religious reasons but instead stood in the way to the creation of The First Galactic Empire as ruled by then Pope John Paul II In the modern era Many Sith were converted by door to door Force marketers a practice which is currently being aprised by the Supreme Court If people choose not to convert to the Sith the Sith use the Dark side to throw barrels pipes man hole covers and freight trains through people s front windows or trap them in Force fields until they can be used to make a rather fuckish shade of Soylent Green The Force and Race An often used explanation of The Force consists of Light and Dark sides of a spectrum or in computing terms 256 bit values of RGB locked together In this analogy the Force draws upon the age old battle of The White Man Repressin against Nigger Stole my bike Paradise Losticus of ancient unknown authoring is the most vivid and accurate account of the religious turmoil within the Force In the climactic ending of the book Sith Lord Darth Maul returns Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn s bike The Light and Dark sides can not coexist side by side not even in Detroit Bickering on both sides has sparked off many Holy Wars like the Crusades and as detailed in the six part documentary Star Wars The Light Side has come under significant fire in mordern times despite its true purpose of Guarding of Peace and Justice Many believe probably due to Sith indoctrination that this could just be bullshit for Defenders of Big Business and the Oil Industry This could explain why the Jedi Temple is on the wildly industrialized planet Coruscant and the Sith live in ghettos like Cleveland It is wholly undisputed that the Dark Side of the Force repre