Shmede Shmede also known as RW Schememememede or Romeo Whiskey is a very competitive chap who tends to frequently cheat at snooker so he can brag to his fellow friends about how good he is at the sport His most familiar way of doing this involves returning reds to the table that have already been potted Another canny trick of his is adding more points than he should onto his score whilst adding less than he should to opponents He also has a tendency to say he hit a particular ball when it was obvious he did not At times Richard can also be mistaken for Nelson Mandela He regards himself as a rather specialist aggressive opening batsman when playing cricket and together with his slow left arm throws he is one whack tack and cack cricketer Richard s wicket taking ability is particularly admirable though apart from claiming the wicket of Simon The Don Yates he generally gets creamed all over the park Other sports he attempts to play include football where over an illustrious playing career he has inherited a number of enemies none of which hate him as much as the Sun as particularly in the summer months he can be seen rather red as the Sun is attracted to him Rumour has it that this sunburn is the reason why his legs contain very little hair His attitude throughout all sports is hated by most as he is accustomed to arguing with most of his fellow players including ones on his own side RW quotes Shouts J ggaboo as loud as possible in Rileys Ya scran head Come back in 5 years Get a haircut Doooooooooou like smack doooooooooou like crack then u will a love my new smack n a crack party bag It has a smack and a plerrrrrrrrnty of crack U can a steal ur friends car radio to pay for it R8 yunes He s done him After hitting the wrong ball at snooker FOUL What you mean foul Dint you see I hit the red first it was so obvious Pre buzz Rich has just sent a nudge Buzz Pre post buzz Post buzz Terina Chips Costootipoosmesh I did dobin in 12 yesterday first hole When asked if the bat is knocked in No its not tin Then asked again No its not tin probably allumnium or something When wearing velcro trainers Hold this while I tie me shoe laces Tight followed closely by us bramble Half the school fancies me just the wrong half In conclusion Shmede can be simply summed up as a towel Shmede and at Rileys Quite frequently usually by RWs arrangement a trip to Rileys is organised for a few frames of snooker featuring RW and RB Originally set for one o clock the meet time at Brownie s corner has recently been moved forward to avoid both parties waiting after lunch has been completed The meet time at present is around 1220 RB often wears what RW describes as his lucky top which features a dragon on the front RW s lucky chain was removed after he lost nine frames in a row To alert RB of his imminent arrival RW pranks him numerous times along his journey from his home to the corner These pranks are located at the following points When he sets off from his home At SPAR where he picks up his now accustomed Spearmint Extra When he sees the corner Upon arrival to the corner The journey down to Rileys is now via Hollis Lane as a maze has been erected on Horns Bridge Island Upon arrival RB picks the usual table 10 table 13 if 10 is not available whilst RW visits the toilet and orders his Coke with one ice cube the price of which is extortionate and a tap water The reasoning behind the one ice cube is that this is sufficient ice to cool the drink to an enjoyable temperature and yet not dilute the coke enough to affect its taste noting that the room temperature of Rileys is at least a full three degrees above the standard 20 21 degrees and this hence means that should the generic four ice cubes be placed into the drink they would melt at a particularly fast rate diluting the cola even quicker Play usually consists of three frames lasting approximately an hour and a half although if RB wins the first two frames RW is more than likely to concede When pla