No the phrasing is wrong Lying is the present participle of to lie it s one of the painful ones consistently gotten wrong in English If she was currently continuing to lie to a jury then it can be used But the lie being described is in the past Hence She has lied not She was lying I don t see these as nitpicks either many of the proposed phrase shortenings are due to you replaced past with present tense On top of that I think we should aim for high quality writing Now I agree that some of the content for example a nearby room following her encounter with Strauss Kahn and had then returned to Strauss Kahn s room and cleaned that as well could be better phrased to be clearer and shorter But your mostly just removing material to no value leaving a lot of vagueness and some innacuracy Errant chat