Lead The article is about 22 K of prose For that a lead of around 2 3 paragraphs suffices The lead is perhaps a little long but not by very much also called the JC s Girls Girls Girls Ministry this name does not appear anywhere in the body and hence is not verifiable an American evangelical organization of women who evangelize to female workers in the sex industry might be simpler to say an American evangelical organization of women in the sex industry but does not try to persuade them to leave the sex industry The organization also supports women who wish to leave the sex industry suggest The organization supports women wishing to leave the industry but does not directly persuade them to do so could conversion wikilnk to conversion to Christianity In which case the link in the second paragraph should drop out She founded JC s Girls on Good Friday in 2005 a month would help here not everyone knows Good Friday is the first Friday after the first full moon after 21 March and even those that do can t remember when it was ten years ago it was based at Sandals Church in Riverside what is Riverside that received much traffic and news coverage might be simpler to say much media coverage traffic could imply there were queues everywhere as people wanted to chat to them and based the organization at Central Christian Church worth mentioning the church was in nearby Henderson Nevada not Las Vegas itself Per WP BLPSOURCES the quotations in the lead ought to be cited even though it can normally be lax or not explicitly encouraging strippers to stop stripping to avoid repetition maybe or not explicitly encouraging sex industry workers to quit would be better presumably their message was for anyone in this industry generally I m not sure the bit about Ra lism is necessary for the lead as its not directly about this organisation Ideology began to engage with softcore pornographic models and call girls as well don t need as well Grecco 2007 n p this book source needs more information ideally a page number so the fact can be easily verified Members often wear eyelash extensions stiletto heels skinny jeans and skin tight t shirts the Daily Express is perhaps slightly more palatable than the Daily Mail but still generally not considered a suitable quality source for controversial BLPs and so this should be removed or toned down to something like Members shun conservative dress styles which is mentioned in the Observer source Is WorldNetDaily a good enough source for BLPs like this in the softcore and fetish genres softcore and fetish could be linked trample fetish specifically specifically would sit better in front she converted to Christianity and eventually left the sex industry although no one attempted to tell her about Jesus how do you convert to Christianity without hearing about Jesus first a close friend of hers who was working as a stripper had died 7 of alcohol intoxication might be easier to put the two sources together at the end of the sentence Also the source specifically mentions alcoholism which is different to alcohol intoxication implying there was a long term problem rather than an accident Veitch began to evangelize to strippers because she wished someone had evangelized to her to avoid repetition could one of the evangelized s be changed to a different word One of her clients was Lori Albee 3 a housewife with two children and no experience with the sex industry per WP BLP why is having no experience with the sex industry important Veitch told Albee about her friend who had died in loneliness and depression I think just had died will do here Albee suggested that they start evangelizing to other strippers to avoid repetition maybe contacting instead of evangelizing would be better Might be worth summarising why the other organisations except San Diego disappeared Riverside chapter On Good Friday in 2005 suggest On March 25 2005 Good Friday Albee and six other women went to a strip club the source said adult entertainment club which is subtly different Instead of accepting the lap dances just accepting the dances will do here They made Matthew s House the parent organization for JC s Girls to avoid repetition just up to the parent organization will do The church gave JC s Girls a 10 000 budget suggest The church donated a 10 000 budget much of this budget was taken up by V