While this is good work there are some problems It is an argumentative essay and not an encyclopaedic article In addition there are some assumptions Their traditional place had been in the domestic sphere which are inappropriate to make as they are wrong traditional isn t expanded out and unnecessary to the article section You really need to work on your anachronistic judgements Women workers and officers serving in the US armed forces weren t making wide spread public political claims along these lines in 1959 or 1963 Also the length is a serious problem for the article Vietnam War This would suit a section in Women in the Vietnam War or an article American women in the Vietnam War I m not going to mention the misweighting problem here as it isn t a problem with your text but with the absence of coverage of South Vietnamese women of all political alignments and North Vietnamese women