His objective was to fight in any short engagement he could and to become a policeman This needs to be more clearly spelt out I also think police officer would be preferable Changed police part but not sure how to re phrase part 1 of the sentence Thanks Years and ranks and such for the Arab Revolt info would be preferable No info that I could find I m afraid searching terms such as Arab revolt Ernest Bond Arab revolt Ernest Radcliffe Bond and Arab revolt Private Ernest Bond After a short time in No 8 Guards Commando in a group of units under Robert Laycock s command 2 the unit was disbanded and he journeyed to North Africa with his original battalion in the Scots Guards 1 fighting in the Eighth Army 2 This doesn t make sense Changed a little Does it make sense now Thanks against the airfields Targetting Aiming to capture against the doesn t say anything He became a prisoner of war for the remainder of the conflict 1 2 Where was he sent Was this the whole four years mentioned in the next very short to be avoided paragraph When Bond was released from his imprisonment by the Axis he was demobilised in 1946 Clumsy wording Was he demobilised when released or in 1946 His division became E division Presumably you mean he moved division he began to develop a reputation for his discerning skill as a detective It d be good if we could have in text attribution for this quote Also be aware of MOS LQ Bond joined the Bomb Squad newly formed in January 1971 5 due to concern over The Angry Brigade 2 Bond became the unit s first commander 5 on 23 June 1971 3 having being promoted to that position in 1969 1 Comma splice having being promoted to that position in 1969 So while in the murder squad Why don t you mention this in the previous paragraph The unit served at Tintagel House and Bond s name was theoretically meant to be kept secret and he should be called Commander X so that he was not bombed but journalists have since claimed to have known his name within days of his appointment Clumsy wording The use of quotes for the remainder of the paragraph is also rather jarring in places Perhaps terrorist is a word to avoid The gunmen gave up on 12 December 10 their surrender sparking fears of reprisals after what Bond called a rather humiliating episode 11 Bond masterminded the operation to regain the hostages 4 I don t follow Sorry I know this probably isn t what you wanted to hear Well it s best to get the news that it needs a lot of work now than nominating it then finding out Thanks for all the help I ll start taking a look at the issues Thanks Oh and before I forget thanks for adding the cats and helping on the quote Template Cite ODNB is good it has a nice way of handling the subscription needed note To be clear this is a solid article even if the writing s a bit all over the place in a few places and a great topic combining several interests of mine However the FA bar for biographies is very high