Clumsy She found out or she only found out the end result is the same Parentheses with plot summaries are always clumsy it the details are important rework them into the main body of the clause Bloat is bloat is bloat you add 127 characters then ten more editors do the same and soon we end up with an article which is all about the plot and nothing else Copy editing should reduce the length not add to it by which I mean readable prose by all means wikilink relevant words