c2p-cmd/Good-Quotes-Authors huggingface dataset:
The unification of the planet's history, that humanist dream which God has spitefully allowed to come true, has been accompanied by a process of dizzying reduction. True, the termites of reduction have always gnawed away at life: even the greatest love ends up as a skeleton of feeble memories. But the character of modern society hideously exacerbates this curse: it reduces man's life to its social function; the history of a people to a small set of events that are themselves reduced to a tendentious interpretation; social life is reduced to political struggle, and that in turn to the confrontation of just two great global powers.
— Milan Kundera, The Art of the Novel
So I just went over and sat with him. Not a biggie. I wish people would stop trying to turn it into something more. He's just a kid. The weirdest-looking kid I've ever seen, yes. But just a kid.
— R.J. Palacio, Wonder
I decided (after listening to a "talk radio" commentator who abused, vilified, and scorned every noble cause to which I had devoted my entire life) that I was both a humanist and a liberal, each of the most dangerous and vilified type. I am a humanist because I think humanity can, with constant moral guidance, create a reasonably decent society. I am terrified of restrictive religious doctrine, having learned from history that when men who adhere to any form of it are in control, common men like me are in peril. I do not believe that pure reason can solve the perpetual problems unless it is modified by poetry and art and social vision. So I am a humanist. And if you want to charge me with being the most virulent kind—a secular humanist—I accept the accusation. [Interview, Parade magazine, 24 November 1991]
— James A. Michener
If he makes humanity God and yet cries out against God's inhumanity, it is clear who has really been accused.
— J. Budziszewski, What We Can't Not Know: A Guide
Develop in your heart the feeling of love for your people and let it be the source of kindliness and blessing to them. Do not behave with them like a barbarian, and do not appropriate to yourself that which belongs to them. Remember that the citizens of the state are of two categories. They are either your brethren in religion or your brethren in kind. They are subject to infirmities and liable to commit mistakes.
— Hazrat Ali Ibn Abu-Talib A.S
Everyone doesn’t need to have the same beliefs, we just need to start believing in everyone.
— Sam Killermann
She might have seen that what had bowed her head so profoundly - the thought of the world's concern at her situation - was founded on an illusion. She was not an existence, an experience, a passion, a structure of sensations, to anybody but herself. To all humankind besides Tess was only a passing thought. Even to friends she was no more than a frequently passing thought. If she made herself miserable the livelong night and day it was only this much to them - 'Ah,she makes herself unhappy.' If she tried to be cheerful, to dismiss all care, to take pleasure in the daylight, the flowers, the baby, she could only be this idea to them - 'Ah, she bears it very well.' Moreover, alone in a desert island would she have been wretched at what had happened to her? Not greatly. If she could but have been just created, to discover herself as a spouseless mother, with no experience of life except as the parent of a nameless child, would the position have caused her to despair? No, she would have taken it calmly, and found pleasures therein. Most of the misery had been generated by her conventional aspect, and not by her innate sensations.
— Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Do you think to make man good by enacting more laws?
— Hock G. Tjoa, Agamemnon Must Die
Tess's feminine hope - shall we confess it - had been so obstinately recuperative as to revive in her surreptitious visions of a domiciliary intimacy continued long enough to break down his coldness even against his judgement. Though unsophisticated in the usual sense, she was not incomplete; and it would have denoted deficiency of womanhood if she had not instinctively known what an argument lies in propinquity. Nothing else would save her, she knew, if this failed. It was wrong to hope in what was of the nature of strategy, she said to herself; yet that sort of hope she could not extinguish. His last representation had now been made, and it was, as she said, a new view. She had truly never though so far as that, and his lucid picture of possible offspring who would scorn her was one that brought deadly conviction to an honest heart which was humanitarian to its centre. Sheer experience had already taught her that, in some circumstances, there was one thing better than to lead a good life, and that was to be saved from leading any life whatever. Like all who have been previsioned by suffering, she could, in the words of M. Sully-Prudhomme, hear a penal sentence in the fiat, 'You shall be born,' particularly if addressed to potential issue or hers.
— Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Human Dignity has five characteristics : A playful curiosity,a capacity for dreams, a sense of humor to achieve and correct those dreams, a certain flexibility and spontaenity of behavior, a capacity to fight for and save those dreams !
— Abha Maryada Banerjee, Nucleus: Power Women: Lead from the Core
We have made thee neither of heaven nor of earth,Neither mortal or immortal, So that with freedom of choice and with honor, As thought the maker and molder of thyself, Thou mayest fashion thyself in whatever shape thou shalt prefer. Thou shalt have the power out of thy soul's judgment, to be reborn into the higher forms, which are divine.
— Giovanni Pico della Mirandola, Oration on the Dignity of Man
SILENCE does not always mean 'NEUTRALITY'! Sometimes, it may mean 'consenting' to a wrong, sometimes it may mean 'condoning' a mistake and sometimes it may mean giving space to the wrong doer....SOMETIMES, we need to get up and FIGHT!
— Abha Maryada Banerjee, Nucleus: Power Women: Lead from the Core
They haven't eliminated religion from the public school. They have eliminated Christianity and have replaced it with an anti-God religion—humanism.
— Ken Ham, The Lie: Evolution
The German philosopher Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, who had syphilis, said that only a person of deep faith could afford the luxury of religious skepticism. Humanists, by and large educated, comfortably middle-class persons with rewarding lives like mine, find rapture enough in secular knowledge and hope. Most people can't.
— Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Timequake
For we, when we feel, evaporate: oh, webreathe ourselves out and away: from ember to ember,yielding us fainter fragrance.
— Rainer Maria Rilke
The ironic fact is that humanism which began with man's being central eventually had no real meaning for people. On the other hand, if one begins with the Bible's position that man is created by God and in the image of God, there is a basis for that person's dignity.
— Francis A. Schaeffer, How Should We Then Live? The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture
All my moral and intellectual being is penetrated by an invincible conviction that whatever falls under the dominion of our senses must be in nature and, however exceptional, cannot differ in its essence from all the other effects of the visible and tangible world of which we are a self-conscious part. The world of the living contains enough marvels and mysteries as it is—marvels and mysteries acting upon our emotions and intelligence in ways so inexplicable that it would almost justify the conception of life as an enchanted state. No, I am too firm in my consciousness of the marvelous to be ever fascinated by the mere supernatural which . . . is but a manufactured article, the fabrication of minds insensitive to the intimate delicacies of our relation to the dead and to the living, in their countless multitudes; a desecration of our tenderest memories; an outrage on our dignity.
— Joseph Conrad
We are both preachers. He preached the teaching of Jesus Christ, and I preached my philosophy.He asked me: “Do you pray?”“No.”“Do you beseech God to forgive your trespasses?”“No.”“Do you not thank God for his bounty?”“No.”“Do you not depend on God's support?”“No.”And with this his puzzlement increased until he was assured that my fate lies in hell indeed.
— Khalil al-Sakakini
...if pride, that plague of human nature, that source of so much misery, did not hinder it; for this vice does not measure happiness so much by its own conveniences, as by the misery of others; and would not be satisfied with being thought a goddess, if none were left that were miserable, over whom she might insult. Pride thinks its own happiness shines the brighter, by comparing it with the misfortunes of other persons; that by displaying its own wealth they may feel their poverty the more sensibly.
— Thomas More, Utopia
One good test of whether an economy is humanistic or not is the plausibility of earning the ability to drop out of it for a while without incident or insult.
— Jaron Lanier
I want the world to recognize with me the open door of every consciousness
— Frantz Fanon, Black Skin, White Masks
Repudiating the virtues of your world, criminals hopelessly agree to organize a forbidden universe. They agree to live in it. The air there is nauseating: they can breathe it.
— Jean Genet, The Thief's Journal
But it will be asked: What is the force and power of the blessings and curses of men, even if these men be such giants as Plato and Aristotle? Does truth become more true because Aristotle blesses it, or does it become error because Plato curses it? Is it given men to judge the truths, to decide the fate of the truths? On the contrary, it is the truths which judge men and decide their fate and not men who rule over the truths. Men, the great as well as the small, are born and die, appear and disappear - but the truth remains. When no one had as yet begun to "think" or to "search," the truths which later revealed themselves to men already existed. And when men will have finally disappeared from the face of the earth, or will have lost the faculty of thinking, the truths will not suffer therefrom.
— Lev Shestov, Athens and Jerusalem
I had no knowledge of divine help, and all the world lost faith in gradual progress.
— Joy Davidman
Your deeds are nothing but reflection of your thoughts.once thoughts will turn good... actions on their own will turn better... and the world DIVINE....
— Mayank  Sharma, A Cocktail of Love
If peace is to come to earth through change in man's environment, instead of through change in man himself, it will never come. -- Philip Mauro in "The Number of Man the Climax of Civilization
— Philip Mauro
The arrogant elimination of the Djaouts of our world must nerve us to pursue our own combative doctrine, namely: that peaceful cohabitation on this planet demands that while the upholders of any creed are free to adopt their own existential absolutes, the right of others to do the same is thereby rendered implicit and sacrosanct. Thus the creed of inquiry, of knowledge and exchange of ideas, must be upheld as an absolute, as ancient and eternal as any other.
— Wole Soyinka, The Last Summer of Reason
Christianity is not a doctrine, not, I mean, a theory about what has happened & will happen to the human soul, but a description of something that actually takes place in human life.
— Ludwig Wittgenstein, Culture and Value
Today is my thirtieth birthday and I sit on the ocean wave in the schoolyard and wait for Kate and think of nothing. Now in the thirty-first year of my dark pilgrimage on this earth and knowing less than I ever knew before, having learned only to recognize merde when I see it, having inherited no more from my father than a good nose for merde, for every species of shit that flies—my only talent—smelling merde from every quarter, living in fact in the very century of merde, the great shithouse of scientific humanism where needs are satisfied, everyone becomes an anyone, a warm and creative person, and prospers like a dung beetle, and one hundred percent of people are humanists and ninety-eight percent believe in God, and men are dead, dead, dead; and the malaise has settled like a fall-out and what people really fear is not that the bomb will fall but that the bomb will not fall—on this my thirtieth birthday, I know nothing and there is nothing to do but fall prey to desire.
— Walker Percy
Yes, the human race is a small species in an infinite universe filled with many other planets and many other things, but though small; this race is bearer of very great and big things: Destiny, Virtue, Hope, Love... and that's what makes this species different. That's what makes this species very shiny and very visible and very important, in a whole, whole, big, big, vast, expanding universe!
— C. JoyBell C.
The human being must always be central, not the products and objects of his skill and energy.
— Bernard Wolfe, Limbo
I only back people with track record who can execute ruthlessly and flawlessly... Real killers...no matter the industry or company geography
— Ziad K. Abdelnour, Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics
The charlatan is always the pioneer... The quack of yesterday is the professor of tomorrow.
— Arthur Conan Doyle, Tales of Terror and Mystery
Investing in a startup does not make you an entrepreneur any more than buying a grand piano makes you a concert pianist.
— Jeffrey Fry
It doesn't matter what others are doingIt matters what YOU are doing.
— Hyacil Han, Dropshipping Ultimate Guide: The Expeditive and Accessible Scheme to Earn a Substantial Revenue at Home
To describe yourself as an entrepreneur or a disrupter is as meaningless as describing yourself as an athlete or a thinker. Really? What sports do you play? What do you think about?
— Eric Weiner, The Geography of Genius: A Search for the World's Most Creative Places from Ancient Athens to Silicon Valley
It's simpler to live in a mindset of moving forward, than in a mindset of procrastination!
— John Di Lemme
Tulga Demir considers it his greatest accomplishment to be a responsible and trustworthy family man, while having shaped successful ventures in the fields of real estate and energy.
— Tulga Demir
Own your growth and your schedule!
— John Di Lemme, 177 Motivational Success Quotes to Live the Championship Life
Tulga Demir has pretty simple principles in running his business, Demir Energy, LLC. He is deeply passionate about energy and contributing to the energy future of the USA.
— Tulga Demir
Make a start, even if you have a controversial idea!
— Abhishek Ratna, No Parking. No Halt. Success Non Stop!
Success is state of mind.If you want success start thinking of yourself as a success
— Joyce Brothers
I had worked for others for many years and didn't like the idea of someone else holding my future in their hands; it was time to do something on my own.- Jerri Graham, Nothin' But Granola
— Holly Hurd, Venture Mom: From Idea to Income in Just 12 Weeks
It’s a myth that an entrepreneur cannot work in a corporation. It’s all in the mindset.
— young turks
‪#‎EarlyAgeEntrepreneur‬ - It feels an enormously different situation to react, when one of your ex-employee join college where you study and he standing at a position of your teacher calls you 'Sir
— Akansh Malik
All I want to be is a wandering entrepreneur touching billions of lives. I am going to be the monk who never bought a Ferrari.
— Sharad Vivek Sagar
When you fail, embrace it. Bleed. Get hurt. Lose your religion. That's the only way you will do amazing things.
— Vishwas Mudagal, Losing My Religion
The true measure of success is also you maintaining who you are by the time you reach the pinnacle of success. Never compromise who you are or you will become the product of someone else's success. Become the entrepreneur who sells you and don't become the product that's packaged, bought and sold by others. Will Robins
— Delaine Robins
I’m an entrepreneur at heart. I’m not afraid of starting up, starting over or even failing for that matter, because the fact that I try new things in itself is a victory.
— Lynn Collins
I choose my life to this free. I choose my life to be this way
— Thomas Paine
I’m an entrepreneur at heart, I’m not afraid of starting up, starting over or even failing for that matter, because the fact that I try new things in itself is a victory.
— Lynn Collins
Society flourishes when people think entrepreneurally.
— Reid Hoffman, The Start-Up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career
Never take both hands off the pump. As an entrepreneur, you need to be on constant lookout for opportunity, and that will involve risk. But you minimize those risks by keeping one hand on the pump that is producing for you.
— Kenneth E. Behring, Road to Purpose: One Man's Journey Bringing Hope to Millions and Finding Purpose Along the Way
To lead a successful life, then, it's a good idea to work out what you really want. Then get together some plans. Then set some goals.
— John C. Parkin, F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way
YOUR PROGRESS IS THE ACTUAL PROGRESS OF HUMANITY. YOUR PROGRESS IS NOT YOURS ALONE, IT ADDS GRACE IN ENTIRE HUMANITY'S CREDIT.
— Seema Brain Openers
Show me a man who is a time investor, I will show you a successful man
— Topsy Gift
This was his first trip on the Ossifar Distana, his first real splash in life. Look what it got him. Mister Smiff liked anonymity. He kept a low profile, often traveling under assumed names, claiming to be anything from a banker to a (very) successful life insurance salesman. He’d never broken the law, at least not irreparably. He was quite generous, well liked, sponsoring many charities anonymously – which is why it was so surprising to find him floating face down in the private spa in his apartment, murdered. He had been murdered, unless it was a freak shaving accident. Those old razors weren’t called cut-throats for nothing. Yikes.
— Christina Engela, Dead Man's Hammer
A country where God is not honored cannot be truly successful
— Sunday Adelaja
A successful radiation researcher must research both radiation and the harmful biological effects of the radiation exposures received by the researcher.
— Steven Magee, Health Forensics
Recognize that your life really matters, that who and how you love really matters and that you are successful. When you take the step to say all this about your life, you will have proven to yourself that you are brave!
— Andrea T. Goeglein, Don't Die Waiting to Be Brave
people ask me not to go out of league because I know they have a fear that i may get successful
— shivangi lavaniya
The aim of Good Investments is the ones that offer a high value product that is needed by the target market at a reasonable price and potentially fast ROI which part of the profits will be constantly used in order to improve the existing business and keep building positive image with charitable investments as part of the profits.
— Manos Abou Chabke
I had thought that successful people, wealthy people, prosperous people, don’t stretch themselves and they don’t live a life of pressure. Well I was wrong.
— Sunday Adelaja
Just being ourselves, feeling proud of what we are by God's grace, believing in our own efforts to be successful in whatever we do...is real happiness :-)
— Sriveena Dhagavkar
Life gives everybody equal chance to become successful and prosperous.
— Sunday Adelaja
You will only find everything necessary for a happy and successful life in the Promised Land of your calling.
— Sunday Adelaja
Total freedom from your past
—  both the good and the bad things is the foundation for a successful life
You cannot become successful all by yourself.
— Sunday Adelaja
We as pastors, as God’s ministers, must have right priorities. Only then we will become successful in ministry.
— Sunday Adelaja
Only the one who invests in people can be prosperous and successful.
— Sunday Adelaja
No matter the sphere of life your portion is, you can be successful in it together with the Lord, if you have learned to recognize His time.
— Sunday Adelaja
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway
— Pravinee Hurbungs
Do not follow the success do your best whatever you do so success will follow you
— Rancho
Anyone can be rich and not everyone can be successful.
— Unarine Ramaru
Most people hate successful people for their small little faults rather than appreciating them for their great strengths.
— Awdhesh Singh, The Secret Red Book of Leadership
It is observed that Failed people can give a successful talk on hardwork.
— Rahul Bodkhe
Successful People studied to gain knowledge not to gain Grades.
— Udayveer Singh
Everything you desire is always justoutside your comfort zone, dear boy. If it wasn’t you would alreadypossess it, would you not?
— Chris Murray, The Extremely Successful Salesman's Club
Quite so. Quite right. And yet human beings, who dream ofbecoming more successful often fool themselves into believing thatit can happen without changing a single thing about themselves.They believe that success is some mysterious external factor thatwill just sort itself out while they sleep
— Chris Murray, The Extremely Successful Salesman's Club
Every successful venture is based on an unoriginal idea, beautifully executed.
— Ziad K. Abdelnour, Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics
People submit tooeasily to change from others. And yet, for some reason, wheneverthey consider changing themselves, the focus is always on what theyare giving up, never what they are about to gain
— Chris Murray, The Extremely Successful Salesman's Club
The most successful entrepreneur that every lived (God) was and is successful because Jesus and the Holy Spirit showed they cared for poor lost souls. They were willing share knowledge and demonstrate how things should be done. Not one successful entrepreneur has every done it alone or has not had help from another. Teaching and working together is becoming a lost art. The lack of this may seem like job security for the some, but it's not. The one who does this must come to the realization that his security is threaten by the desperate fuel by his own selfishness. Even inventors have to find caring distributors who get their products out before the masses. Perseverance is just a link in the chain of success. 99% of the chain is sharing knowledge and showing that you care. The opposite of this is fleeting success. Success that is like a vapor, here one moment and gone the next.
— Delaine Robins
Any definition of a successful life must include service to others.
— Ziad K. Abdelnour, Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics
Pay attention to the behavior of the most successful people.
— Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful idiots are always asking, "What's in it for me"?
— Ziad K. Abdelnour, Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics
Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented, and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. Such attitudes are active and definite factors in creating satisfactory conditions. Watch your manner of speech then if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind.
— Norman Vincent Peale
To be real successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish; then resolve to pay the price to get it.
— Ziad K. Abdelnour, Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics
I don't want to be remembered as a woman from Saint Louis who died. I want to be remembered as a woman from Saint Louis who left and actually did something with her life. Then died.
— Ally Spina
It's been nice knowing you, Clara.'Huh? My brain still a bit shell-shocked.'Say a prayer for me, will you? He gives me a shaky grin. Because I'm pretty sure my parents are going to kill me
— Cynthia Hand, Hallowed
Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?
— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
What the heck kind of name was Sir?
— Cherise Sinclair, Club Shadowlands
The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.
— Robert Brault
Well, then, Otter, of course I don’t like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don’t see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you?
— T.J. Klune, Who We Are
When pointing out the flaws in others, people always end up talking about themselves.
— Claire Chilton
If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen>
— Foster "Raul" Mkhabele
Hey! When he dug into it, rifling through her things, she snapped, "Go Yoda someone else's supplies, asshole.
— Kresley Cole, Demon from the Dark
Lindsay calls them the Pugs: pretty from far away, ugly up close.
— Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three.....and so on.Nesta
— Cathy Hopkins, Mates, Dates, and Tempting Trouble
Oh my, you big stud, your dancing boobs have enchanted me with your hypnotic sexual magnitudeness.
— Kyle Adams, Prize Package
The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana.
— Lance Manion
Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!
— Regina Griffin
Shit down your computer, and restart.
— Claire Chilton
Around about now, young John Owen comes out of the shack lugging my old musket from the War. At six years of age, our youngest boy already knew his business. Not a word, just brings the shooting iron somewhat closer so's he don't waste powder, then hoists her up, set to haul back on the trigger. I believe his plan was to shoot this feller, get the story later.
— Peter Matthiessen, Shadow Country
There is no such complicated situation which people could not make more complicated.
— Eraldo Banovac
When I was, like thirteen I thought it would be really cool to be a prostitute... I Thought It was like handsome guys would take you out on these romantic dates and you´d fuck them and then they´d pay you...
— Daniel Clowes
Life is not complex at all when we do not think about it.
— Eraldo Banovac
The main proof that you actually do not exist is that nobody ever criticizes you.
— Eraldo Banovac
I curse when I get really upset. Letting off steam that way makes me feel a little bit better. I've been through a lot, but I have never had the urge to go postal. I thank fuck for that.
— Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories - Going to New York
Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Can we at least avoid the cannibals? I prefer not to vomit when screaming for my life.
— Emory R. Frie, Enchanted Forest
How ’bout you take this Cajun injector here,” I say, gripping the steel rod in his shorts, “and give me a shot of protein instead.
— Heather M. Orgeron, Boomerangers
I love your hairless chest.” She nuzzled his pecs. “So smooth and sculpted. Like a marble manslut statue.
— Nicole Archer, Road-Tripped
Is there any difference between a happy and a lucky man? A happy is someone who finds an oasis with drinking water in a desert. A lucky man will always find water.
— Eraldo Banovac
By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too?
— Eraldo Banovac
The Captain’s boat inspections were always pretty slapdash, because they mainly just involved him looking at the ropes and planks and barnacles and then nodding to show that he approved of whatever they happened to be doing.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Romantics
To smile sincerely is acceptable after making mistakes – that is the best way to feel cheerful and repeat the same mistakes.
— Eraldo Banovac
I fear it is the end for us,’ wailed Marx as the bears inched closer. ‘Is this the way you saw yourself going. Pirate Captain:‘In fact,’ said the Captain grumpily, ‘it’s pretty much the exact situation I usually try to cheer myself up with when I’m in a bit of a fix. “At least you’re not about to be eaten by bears and/or fall into a replica volcano,” I tell myself. So now I’ve got to come up with an even worse scenario, which is a nuisance.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists
In his time the Pirate Captain had made a number of dramatic entrances of his own – not always intentional it had to be said, as quite often they were the result of him accidentally setting himself on fire – but even he had to admit that Cutlass Liz’s dramatic entrance set an extremely high dramatic-entrance standard.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab
It’s not really my fault. The problem is that my mouth just comes out with these things. And you can’t blame me for what my mouth does, can you? Curse this mouth. Do you think it might be possessed?'The Pirate Captain looked in the mirror and made his mouth into a series of shapes he thought looked demonic.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In An Adventure With Napoleon
The Captain was wearing his best blousey shirt, his beard was gleaming in the early morning light and he’d polished all his gold teeth. As he strode manfully towards the shore, the only thing that could have make him look even more heroic that he already did would have been the theme to Flash Gordon playing in the background, but it was a hundred and seventy years too early for that.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In An Adventure With Napoleon
If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.
— Peter Wisan
I got this delicious bottle of perfume called Fabreze
— Chris Colfer, Worlds Collide
Everybody clapped enthusiastically and Dr. Marx popped up from behind the podium, where he had been hiding all along. He was the hairiest man the pirates had ever seen. Several of the crew were actually worried for a moment that the Seaweed That Walked Like a Man had returned from one of their previous adventures to ambush them. His nose was hairy. His forehead was hairy. Even his hands were hairy. And his beard was a great bushy black number, which looked like he had sellotaped a bunch of cats to the bottom of his face and then frightened them with a loud noise.
— Gideon Defoe, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Communists
When I was dating, my girlfriends and I used to say, ‘Don’t cry in front of him before date three.’ ”“Cry?” I echoed, frowning.“Yeah. Guys gets skittish when you cry.”“I don’t think I have to worry about that one.”“You don’t cry?”“I don’t make it to date three.
— Kasie West, P.S. I Like You
Forgive my brother," Camira apologized. "We don't normally let him out of his cage when guests are present.
— Brandon Mull, Keys to the Demon Prison
...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.
— K.R. Grace, The Phoenix
If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance.
— Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks
This is an awesome(probably not very famous) one liner in hindi on engineers. I could not stop myself: Aamir Sarfraz (aamir rajput khan)"Chaar saal lagte hai insaan ko engineer banne mein phir chahe wo puri zindgi laga rahe dubara insaan nahi ban sakta"Translation in English:"It takes four years for a uman to become engineer after that even if he tries for whole life he can't become human again
— Aamir Sarfraz (aamir rajput khan)
Now I am shut up with his mother on Bramble farm and she is no better for conversation than prune whip
— Sandra Dallas, Alice's Tulips
I need the ting but not ting ting ting
— Sreeram Mandikal Sreenath
At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
— Denis Markell, Click Here to Start
My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
That's what gets converts these days," Baron said. "It's a buyers' market in apocalypse. What's hot in heresy's Armageddon.
— China Miéville, Kraken
Yer a wizard, Harry!
— J.K. Rowling
Most of you Mistborn are probably too proud to crawl. I'm surprised you were willing to do so your
— Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire
being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way.
— shashankbisht
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won’t argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from.
— Jesse Ball, How to Set a Fire and Why
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Ani'sike :-Askin one to not to break my heart is burden to them with biggest responsibility , n risk of ma life ;) , so I never let any one carry my heart :P -Anikethana Happy B :) Y
— Anikethana H S
Happy COUPLES are those who have passed both chemistry and physics!
— Mohith Agadi
put my hand in front of her finger, thinking, 'She’s a magician; it might be loaded.
— Garon Whited, Nightlord: Shadows
Life and death played out before my very eyes. You don't see these things if you clean your room regularly.
— Joan Bauer
[I] put my hand in front of her finger, thinking, 'She’s a magician; it might be loaded.
— Garon Whited, Nightlord: Shadows
If you have time today, so let's show you some strange stone.
— Tanmaya Guru
Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.” I started back down the alley. “Truthfully, it’s not you I’m so much worried about as your ass. It’s like the Eighth Wonder of the World or something. Be a shame to deprive future generations of Dreamers, don’t you think?” My stomach rumbled. “Come on, I’m starving.” A snort escaped him. “Nice to know you care.” I patted my belly and shrugged. “Yeah, well. A girl’s gotta have priorities.
— Allison Pang, A Brush of Darkness
Please follow these instructions:1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly. 2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder. 3. Smack yourself over the head with it. 4. Repeat. You complete ass.
— Leah Thomas, Because You'll Never Meet Me
Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Boyfriend?”Her cheeks heated. “Yes.”“Funny name.”“What?” She frowned. “Ernest is a perfectly nice name.”“Oh, I thought I heard you call him Ermine.
— Nalini Singh, Rock Hard
Jay bent over the table, and the muscles in his arm stood proud as he drew the cue back. In one swift motion, he sent it cracking into the white, the other balls soon spinning across the green felt.“Your turn,” he handed her the cue, eyes glinting wickedly. “Need me to look after your end? Of the pool cue, I mean.” “I'm quite capable of looking after my own end, thanks,” Kayla replied archly, and quickly ran the chalk over her cue. “I know the importance of taking care of the tip.
— Libby Cole, Hawaiian Heartbreak
Hey, religious nuts! Please do not grow up. Just go up!
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Children throw tantrums because they've imagined their 'father in heaven' does so. And because, their inherited religious book has, in written, shown them so.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Monkeying around with other apes, a monkey was made - called, HUMAN. God is great!
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Hell freezing over? I don't know. But the devil's definitely wearing a sweater.
— J.R. Moehringer
Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I never knew, apes talk. Apparently, you do.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
If I were married, I would be unmarried.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
so funny how i was so desperate triiying to reach to this point ...and now i have nothing to said im symple out of words,,,
— mel rojas
Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.
— Nenia Campbell, Nostalgia Trip
You just know this is going to be bad," Susan said."—but when I went to college," Harry continued, throwing a piece of bread at Susan, "if your roommate died, you were usually allowed to skip your finals for that semester. You know, because of the trauma.""And oddly enough, your roommate got to skip them, too," Susan said. "For much the same reason.
— John Scalzi, Old Man's War
Climate change is like my head: it’s not visible in every instance, but I’m pretty darn sure it’s there.
— Kevin Focke
I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus.
— Miss Merikan, Split: Coffin Nails MC
The obvious thing to say of his appearance was that he would have been extremely handsome if he had not been entirely bald. But, indeed, that would itself be a rather bald way of putting it. Fantastic as it sounds, it would fit the case better to say that people would have been surprised to see hair growing on him; as surprised as if they had found hair growing on the bust of a Roman emperor.
— G.K. Chesterton
Then you're seventy-five, friends are dead, and you've replaced at least one major organ: you have to pee four times a night, and you can't go up a flight a stairs without being little winded -- and your're told you're in pretty good shape for your age. [....], in a decade you'll be eighty-five, and the only difference between you and a raisin will be that while you're both wrinkled and without a prostate, the raisin never had a prostate to begin with.
— John Scalzi, Old Man's War
Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight, who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I mean, really, it was half-witted." -- Christopher Lee
— B. Lloyd Reese, In the Shadows of Myrmidons
I enlarge the photo again. Nope, too blurry
— Marie Lu, Legend
I said,’What’s your problem?’ Asshole.” There was a question behind his question, and that shadow question was ‘Do you want to dance?
— Adrian Barnes, Nod
All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.
— Tui T. Sutherland
Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans.
— Raheel Farooq
That you exist, is offense enough to arrest you.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!
— Fakeer Ishavardas
In theory, especially in the case of Stone, those who have human hearts would remain cognizant of their behavior and in control of themselves. Those who are Katagaria . . .
— Sherrilyn Kenyon, Instinct
Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.
— Tim Heaton
Without setbacks there'd be no comebacks, and everyone loves a come.
— Kyle Johnson
Life at times is a bunch of crap, the nice part about crap is that it's biodegradable.
— Kyle Johnson
Christmas without a murder plot is like a day without giant spiders eaten orphans" (quote on my special gift holiday mugs)
— Roma Gray
Graduating from the School of Hard Knocks doesn't always get you to Fort Knox.
— Edward Harris
I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.
— Judith Viorst
You’re starting to sound like one of those songs that DJ’s play when they wanna clear out the dancefloor.
— Alex Bergauer, The Dissolve
You're alright, I guess; for, you're just being you, like any other cuckoo.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
You arrogant little snot (John Hammond)
— Michael Crichton
I'm having a stress flashback." Davy bonked his head on the table. "My brother has decided to break into the house of the richest guy in the county and seduce his sexpot daughter, under his nose.""I'm not going to seduce her," Sean said crabbily. "I'd go through the front door and talk to her right in front of her mother if I could, but those people think I'm festering sewage sludge.""No. They think you're dangerous, mentally unhinged festering sewage sludge," Davy corrected.
— Shannon McKenna, Edge of Midnight
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.”“Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.
— Andrew Barger, The Divine Dantes: Paella in Purgatory
It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
— Auliq Ice
I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!
— Walt Disney Company
Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.
— Auliq Ice
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
— Auliq Ice
If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old.
— Auliq Ice
I have started a new blog W.A.R.(Writers Amongst Readers) for all those writing or reading books. Quotes, excerpts, comments from the world's greatest writers. See robinhawdonblog
— Robin Hawdon
I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.
— Auliq Ice
Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny
— Auliq Ice
I hear sweets help these kind of things, too…” -Jared“What kind of things is that?” -April“I don’t know.” He shrugs before adding, “Woman troubles, heartbreak, Twilight ending? Whatever bugs your mind.”-Jared
— Sheena Hutchinson, Discovering April
They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!
— Tanya Masse
All can I say is that exams are damn pathetic
— Sharafat Hussain
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors
— Matthew Heines
Is this about what happened to you and the old Sector 7?” I asked with a growl of my own.His hands tightened their grip on my shoulders. “How did you know about that?” “Tabby-Chan told me.”“Freaking Meko-Chan,” Kuroi uttered, “I swear, that kid is gonna get it. What did she tell you, exactly?”“She told me not to tell you that she told me what you told her.” I realized what I said. “Oops.” ~Luna's POV, Clash of the Clans: Shinobi 7 Companion Book #1
— L.  Benitez, Clash of the Clans: Shinobi 7 Companion Book #1
Connor and Cameron look wide-eyed at the carnage. Cameron slowed the speedboat down to a crawl. She and Connor looked at Jason.“Oops,” Jason said meekly. Nothing else seemed appropriate.“Oops?” Connor shouted. “You blew up half the town.
— Mark A. Cooper, Royal Decree
World is so full of idiots that you can't even imagine to escape. The only solution is isolation. But it still spares one!
— Raheel Farooq
Turning to Turnip, Miss Dempsey said, 'Do you think?'. 'As little as I can,' Turnip replied honestly.
— Lauren Willig, The Mischief of the Mistletoe
All superheroes have origin stories, like how Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive spider. Me? I kissed a janitor in the school bathroom
— Rachel Hawkins
Are You Driving With Your Eyes Open? Or Are You like Using The Force?
— Eddie Murphy- Beverly Hills Cop
There is no cure for madness except the madness as the cure.
— Santosh Kalwar, One-liners
I'm beginning to think my name has been changed to 'Damn it' or 'Asshole'" Styxx
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Word of advice, sister mine. If you want to keep your papers private, don't write 'Private' on the cover. It set the mater right off. It was all I could do to stop her sniffing around like some great sniffing thing.
— Lauren Willig, The Mischief of the Mistletoe
Gentle reminder, Smile please.
— Vikrmn, 10 Alone
I have a bad grammar, but I do have a good message in it.
— Sivaprakash Sidhu
^Do every day a thing that scares you_♥
— Mana'hil
What's the deal with this Malachai?" Xevikan"I don't know. I just joined him myself. But he seems level. Decent even." Zavid"He's with a half-daeve turncoat, a Charonte, and an Aamon, and you don't find that off?" Xevikan"Wait until you meet his Arel girlfriend, lunatic mother, and the two human homicidal maniac he calls family. Buddy, everything about the Malachai ain't right." Zavid
— Sherrilyn Kenyon, Illusion
What a cool name. Where'd you get it?""I've always had it.
— Marie Landry, Waiting for the Storm
Stay in the car Nick""okay."Ash gets out abd goes to look at the dead body."For an immortal being with 11,000 years under his belt Ash sure is stupid." Nick gets out and sees the blood."That's a lot of blood." Nick's book starts sending him an alert. "What Lassie? You going to tell Timmy about the well?" pulls out book, and opens it. words start to appear.LOOK AND YOUWILL SEE THATWHICH WAS CANNEVER BE.WHEN THEYSEEK A BOYYOUR AGE...... RUN, YOUFLIPPINMORON, RUN!"I'm not gonna argue with my book on that. The safest place is with Ash.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon, Invincible
Penny for your thoughts,' asked Gwen.'Cheapskate,' said Ianto. 'Never heard of inflation? Thoughts are a bit pricier than that these days.''OK,' said Gwen. 'A pint down the local tomorrow for your thoughts.'Ianto smiled. 'That's more like it.
— David Llewellyn, Trace Memory
You're boring me, M'Ordant. Go away." V'Aidan"You can't be bored." M'Ordant"And a good thing, too, since I'd no doubt perish from it while in your company." V'Aidan
— Sherrilyn Kenyon, Dark Bites
The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.
— M.J. McGuire, Meme Myself and Jesus
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.
— KanyaACoffman
There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino, who once told me, “Lift your chin, darling, you are not eighteen.” I enjoyed his honesty. Also, I’m pretty sure he says that to models who are nineteen.
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Archbishop: "God is with us!"William the Great : "Bishop, if God is with us, then he is not with them, congratulations!We are victorious!
— Arash Pakravesh, Crusades
loosing character is not easy, behind lots of hard work
— sakhiabbas
I am not fake, I am just to good to be true :-)
— Mahsati Abdul
Buffoons may have serious faces behind their mask!
— Nelson Jack
I prodded him in the chest with a finger and said, “Look here, smart mouth, I’m getting pretty sick of you already. If you know what’s best for you, keep your trap shut and do as I tell you. I still haven’t forgotten how you pushed my friend into that corpse. So unless you want to end up like that body in the underpass, do yourself a favour and keep out of my face, okay?”“Whatever you say, boss. You’re the boss, boss,” Drake said.“See, there you go again!” I snapped at him.“I’m not sure I know what you mean, boss,” Drake said.“You even say boss like a wise arse,” I shot back at him.“I don’t know what you mean b-” Drake started again.“Did I say you had to call me boss?”“It’s just that I thought…”“Don’t think!” I barked. “Just do as I say and we’ll get along just fine.”“Whatever you say,” Drake said.I glanced at Madison and she was smiling. “What’s so funny?” I asked.“Nothing,” she smiled back.“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t realise that I was some sort of freaking comedian. Let’s see ifyou think it’s so funny when another one of those dead kids shows up. Jesus, no wonder you amateurs haven’t caught this piece of scum yet – you’re probably all too busy sitting round cracking jokes andtaking the piss to do any real police work.”“You are funny though,” she half-laughed. “It’s just that when you get angry, your jaw goes alltense and your nostrils flare out at the sides.”“Oh yeah, how very amusing,” I remarked. “I think you two clowns are funny – not ha-ha funny– but fucked-in-the-head funny! Now, if you two have quite finished doing your Laurel and Hardy impersonations, we’ve got a killer to catch!
— Tim O'Rourke, Wolf House - Potter's Story
am still confused, how you fallen in love` with fat dog?...
— sakhiabbas