c2p-cmd/Good-Quotes-Authors huggingface dataset:
You just suddenly think that there's something quite childish about acting. Basically, it's pretending, isn't it? It's good fun and I enjoy it, but it's a funny way of making a living, particularly when you make a very good wage, as I've been fortunate enough to do.
— Kevin Whately
I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of a broken heart behind them. That is what life is like: it's really funny, you see funny things as soon as you step out of the room, but underneath that is a whole bag of broken hearts. It's that real pain and that real hilarity that makes life so intriguing.
— Tamsin Greig
The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life.
— Lele Pons
Objectifying is kind of a funny thing. Art is objectification, all art, because you're taking someone and making them into an object. But people can also talk back more to you when you're sketching them. They can look at you and say, 'Oh man, you got me wrong.'
— Molly Crabapple
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.
— Milton Berle
You know what's funny is, when I made 'Saw,' I got accused of being a fascist; when I made 'Insidious,' I got accused of being godless, and now I made the 'Conjuring' films, and I'm accused of being too much God.
— James Wan
It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset.
— Colin Kaepernick
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.
— Ron White
It's funny - almost every comedian that I started out with moved to L.A., except for my two friends Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer. And my two friends that are doing the best in comedy, the most successful friends I have, are Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer.
— Eric Andre
I've always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to amuse my mother's friends even at five or six with witty turns of phrase. Somehow, I just knew how to be funny.
— Howard Jacobson
It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.
— Jimmy Kimmel
Funny is funny is funny.
— Bob Newhart
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
— Garry Shandling
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
— Ernest Hemingway
With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.
— Kristen Wiig
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
— J. K. Rowling
I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.
— R. L. Stine
I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.
— Ciaran Hinds
Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.
— Ricky Van Veen
Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
— Don Rickles
It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills.
— Tori Spelling
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
— Douglas Adams
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.
— Esther Williams
I think it's harder to go from comedy to drama than from drama to comedy. Seeing you dramatic all the time, they crave to see you being silly or funny. But, seeing you in comedy all the time, it's hard to see that person go be serious, for some reason.
— Evan Peters
I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.
— Danny DeVito
I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.
— Daniel Tosh
I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.
— Harold Wilson
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
— Will Rogers
I guess when I think about it, one of the things I like to dramatise, and what is sometimes funny, is someone coming unglued. I don't consider myself someone who is making the argument that I support these choices. I just think it can be funny.
— Wes Anderson
I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.
— Jimmy Fallon
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
— Zach Galifianakis
You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.
— Richard P. Feynman
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
— Bette Davis
Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.
— Norman Douglas
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
— Dave Barry
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
— Stephen King
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference.
— Conor McGregor
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
— Bill Maher
I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it.
— Kailash Kher
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
— Lewis Black
I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of thing. But I'm open to whatever is done well. I don't have any agenda. I'm not like Fugazi - I'm not trying to be just so punk rock until I die. Whatever is funny is good.
— Eric Andre
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.
— Bill Vaughan
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
— Fanny Brice
There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.'
— Todd Phillips
Memories are doing funny things to us.
— Milos Forman
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
— Billy Connolly
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
— Bob Hope
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
— George Burns
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
— Phyllis Diller
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.
— Fionnula Flanagan
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
— Arthur Conan Doyle
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
— Robin Williams
I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks being funny and interesting lasts longer.
— Kelly Ripa
It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art.
— Grimes
Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're funny because we respond to some personal dislocation, some embarrassment, some humiliation, some pain we've suffered, or some desire we have.
— Harold Ramis
When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.
— Paul Merton
Maybe people don't see me as believable playing a person of today. I guess I'm just more realistic in a corset and funny hairstyles.
— Katie McGrath
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
— Ogden Nash
You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
— Steve Irwin
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
— Andre Maurois
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
— George Carlin
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you she is after your barn.
— Hesiod
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
— Kevin Nealon
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
— Jerry Seinfeld
My mum passing away wasn't funny, but that funeral and what I went through, the things that happened, looking back at it, there were funny moments. You have to be strong enough to look back at it, to sit and assess the situation.
— Kevin Hart
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
— P. J. O'Rourke
The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment.
— Dwayne Johnson
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
— George Orwell
I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most.
— John Leguizamo
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
— Jimi Hendrix
There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
— Larry David
I get asked, 'Who would you really like to work with?' I'm already working with them. Smart, talented, funny people, good musicians, an extended family, good friends.
— Christopher Guest
Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things isn't enough anymore.
— Milo Yiannopoulos
Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.
— Carol Burnett
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
— Alfred Hitchcock
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
— Robert Benchley
What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.
— Samuel Beckett
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
— Mitch Hedberg
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
— Don Rickles
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
— Unknown
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
— David Sedaris
I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.
— Anne Lamott
I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week.
— Lana Parrilla
The funny thing is, I've never really hurt myself in an action movie. I've done 'Wanted,' 'X-Men,' 'Welcome To The Punch,' even 'Trance' to a certain extent has little bits of action and stuff, but I've never really hurt myself at all - not even like a sprained ankle.
— James McAvoy
Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks.
— Joel Osteen
Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.
— Kevin Hart
I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny.
— Jim Dine
Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny.
— Candace Bushnell
It's funny because it's funny.
— David Spade
I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.
— Kesha
I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.
— Wendy Liebman
My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.
— Carol Leifer
I don't mean to be funny.
— Yogi Berra
I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
— Taylor Swift
It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory.
— Tom Baker
I can be dramatic. I can be funny. I can be sexy. I can be sad. I can be glad.
— Kimberly Elise
It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it's just because they don't behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power.
— Ryan Reynolds
I'm very lighthearted, outgoing, friendly, and funny, so I like to try new things.
— Chandler Parsons
I try to be funny and not ignorant.
— Kevin Hart
There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny.
— Rick Wakeman
Eyebrows are really important because they structure the face. In school it was funny because I was always the one walking around with tweezers plucking my girlfriends' eyebrows. I was really good; eyebrow tweezing runs in my family - my mother used to do mine, and I picked it up.
— Rita Ora
Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.
— Trevor Noah
The thing I most hate about the Left is that they want to stop us laughing - to prescribe which jokes are OK and which are not OK to make in public and to draw artificial lines around certain subjects. I find all sorts of inappropriate things funny.
— Milo Yiannopoulos
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't let that happen to you. You've done so much work; you've put in so much effort. Don't let one moment ruin your entire life because you wanted to be funny or you were mad or because you had a mood.
— J. J. Watt
I'm a prankster, so some of the - you know, I like a good joke. I think when it's funny, it's funny.
— Sean Spicer
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?
— Ogden Nash
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
— Emo Philips
With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home from a long day and he says: 'Go on, get in the kitchen,' it's funny because we know it's not our lives.
— Emily Browning
It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-destroying when they don't laugh.
— Vince Vaughn
It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.'
— Kim Fields
It's funny how seeing a love story never gets boring, because it's the dream, isn't it? It's the dream to have a true connection with another human being.
— Felicity Jones
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
— Calvin Trillin
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
— Ellen DeGeneres
An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.
— George Jean Nathan
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
— H. L. Mencken
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
— H. L. Mencken
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
— Jay Leno
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
— Jerry Lewis
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
— Lucille Ball
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.
— O. Henry
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
— P. J. O'Rourke
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
I never liked you, and I always will.
— Samuel Goldwyn
Include me out.
— Samuel Goldwyn
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
— Samuel Johnson
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
— Victor Hugo
The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.
— William Feather
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
— Woody Allen
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
— Al Gore
So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
— Christina Aguilera
Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.
— Sparky Anderson
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
— Angie Dickinson
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
— Cathy Guisewite
Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.
— Cathy Guisewite
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
— Norman Wisdom
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
— Johnny Vegas
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
— Mercedes McCambridge
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
— Emo Philips
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
— Garrison Keillor
It's funny how sometimes how the public some people think I was born like this. That I maybe I sleep and I do big muscle, but its a lot of work to look like this and to be in this kind of condition.
— Lou Ferrigno
I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.
— Parker Posey
In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.
— Rosie Perez
Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
— Sarah Silverman
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
— Gene Wilder
I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.
— Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
— Florenz Ziegfeld
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.
— Sheryl Crow
You gotta keep the funny intact.
— Seth MacFarlane
One thing the blues ain't, is funny.
— Stephen Stills
We have never been strictly political, only strictly funny.
— Adrian Edmondson
About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load.
— Alan Thicke
I wasn't very funny or flashy, I was kind of boring.
— Katie Holmes
But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.
— Robert Downey, Jr.
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?
— Andy Warhol
I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.
— D. L. Hughley
Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache.
— Lee Tergesen
Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends.
— Anthony LaPaglia
I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left.
— Naomi Watts
I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.
— Katy Perry
There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes.
— Lake Bell
We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!
— Josh Hutcherson
I put on a big show when I write something I think is funny.
— Judd Apatow
I tend to play characters that I can infuse with certain kinds of humour. Even the baddest guy can be funny in his own particular way. I want the audience to engage with the character on some deeper level so that they leave the cinema still thinking about him.
— Samuel L. Jackson
It's funny - in elementary school, I went by Amber. I never liked Tiffani.
— Tiffani Thiessen
I think I've got a funny face.
— Dominic West
I mean, I'm married first of all to one of, if not the most wonderful women in the world. She is everything - funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits.
— Seal
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
— Lily Tomlin
I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.
— Jerry Lewis
I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.
— Jimmy Kimmel
I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.
— Christopher Walken
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.
— Guy Pearce
It is funny what a year can do.
— Victor Cruz
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
— Adam Sandler
There's always something funny about men chasing women.
— David Spade
I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.
— Seann William Scott
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
— Adam Carolla
Being mean just for being mean's sake isn't funny.
— Kaitlin Olson
Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.
— Marlon Wayans
I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality people have to sympathise with you to find you funny. 
— Chris O'Dowd
That's a funny thing, fame. People definitely do treat you differently. When you begin to be successful, people say, 'Don't go changing.' Well, that's easy to say, but the fact is, you don't change at all - other people do.
— Jonathan Rhys Meyers
I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher.
— Todd Phillips
It's funny when you know you're playing two characters and you're aware of how you have to play each one into your performance of the other. You're constantly at the back of your mind thinking and it all gets a bit confusing.
— Jamie Dornan
I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery.
— Cecelia Ahern
A lot of comedies are based on the reaction shot. You have one person doing something stupid and one person is generally the straight man, and the laughs generally come on the reaction of the straight man to the funny thing the other person has done.
— Richard Ayoade
I always thought 'chick lit' meant third-person contemporary funny novels, dealing with issues of the day. I mean, it's not the ideal term; when I'm asked to describe what I do, I say I write romantic comedies, cause that's what I feel they are. But I'm quite pragmatic.
— Sophie Kinsella
Being effective at social media, whether for business or personal use, means capturing people who have short attention spans. They're only a click away from a picture of a funny cat, so you have to make your thing more compelling than that cat. And that can be a high bar.
— Alexis Ohanian
You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else.
— Steve Carell
I always find it funny when I watch actors talking about, 'I chose to do this part.' A lot of times it's 'you're lucky to get the job.' We're like, 'Thank you so much.'
— Lucy Punch
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
— Patton Oswalt
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political.
— Fred Hampton
Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'
— Dylan Moran
I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy.
— Madeline Kahn
I think stutterers are funny. And I know it's rude and politically incorrect to laugh at stutterers. But I think it is okay because I know why they're funny. They make people nervous. People think, when on earth are they going to get the word out, so they start laughing out of their own nervousness.
— James Earl Jones
What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy.
— Tom Robbins
If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.
— Seth MacFarlane
On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task.
— Matt Groening
I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it. You don't think, 'I'm going to watch that comedy starring a woman,' you think, 'I'm going to watch that funny show.' They refuse to play the foils for men, or be reduced to the butt of every joke, and I love that about both of them.
— Tatiana Maslany
I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.
— Lily Tomlin
Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'
— Mike Birbiglia
My ideal prom date would have to be cute, funny, sweet, nice.
— Kendall Jenner
I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'
— Tao Lin
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
— Dick Cavett
As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind of funny. I'd score 40 points. I'd come home and say, 'Look dad, I scored 40.' He'd never have a smile on his face. He'd be like, 'I saw that move you did. What if you'd hurt your knee?'
— Shaquille O'Neal
I remember people saying: 'You look funny, your hair is so black, you have a flat nose,' but I didn't think of it being racism, and I still don't. But there was a sense of difference, of being an outsider.
— Sadie Jones
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
— Bob Newhart
I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure.
— Chuck Palahniuk
I've always surrounded myself with funny people.
— Leslie Mann
I try to write stories that are thrilling and full of mystery and funny all at the same time, stories that raise moral questions but come up with very few moral answers, stories that emotionally touch readers through the characters.
— William Lashner
I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolute most important thing. It should also communicate some idea through the medium of cartooning. Just to be funny is... You know what, the things that you laugh hardest at aren't cartoons.
— Robert Mankoff
Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun.
— Jennette McCurdy
When I was right out of college, I felt competitive with some of the guys in my class over career stuff. It's funny now to think about it - that a friend getting a job or something had anything to do with me... I think that my relationship with my wife has played a pivotal role in the chilling out of Aaron.
— Aaron Staton
I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people.
— Greg Boyle
I love to swim. When I jump in the water, I feel like I'm 12 years old again. It's really funny how it does that to me.
— Summer Sanders
When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.
— Robin Williams
I was a good student until I turned 15. Then, all of a sudden, it didn't matter to me anymore. Isn't that funny. I don't want to go to college. I always knew that. But it's hard. My friends are going, and I feel a little left behind.
— Clara Mamet
The gummy bears tattoo was my idea. It's my son's favorite candy. The sketch was my other son's idea. It's a self-portrait of himself. I just showed the artist his sketch and had him tattoo it on my forearm. It looks like a stick person with big hair. It's pretty funny.
— Prince Fielder
The real world has always been far more exciting and funny and dangerous to me than anything somebody could conjure up sitting in front of a computer.
— Tony Scott
I love playing smart and tough and having funny lines.
— Jane Elliot
There are a lot of funny things that happen in one's life.
— Pierce Brosnan
I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them.
— Liam Hemsworth
The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.
— Ray Stevens
It's funny how you get a bit older and become more accepting of things. When you're in your twenties, you're skeptical of everything. I definitely felt like that.
— Jamie Dornan
My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.
— Leslie Jones
I make funny videos of me playing video games, and I share those moments.
— PewDiePie
I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.
— Kurt Vonnegut
Rapping can be repetition sometimes. Sometimes you gotta highlight your words in a certain kind of way. So I always was a fan of sing-rapping. It was always funny to me a little bit, and I think that being funny and being able to laugh, even at yourself, is a form of flattery.
— ASAP Ferg
I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.
— Nathan Fielder
I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them.
— Trevor Noah
Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing.
— Elle King
There are precedents for what happens when societies allow the divide between rich and poor to get so huge that it stops being funny and starts becoming a sick, blood-boiling joke. If you had a Tardis, you could go back to 1917 and ask the Russian royal family how it was all going.
— John Niven
When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding.
— David Bowie
I did feel funny about being fair and having red hair and freckles. I did not like that because I grew up in a neighbourhood where no one had red hair. I felt very conspicuous but not in a nice way.
— Patti Scialfa
It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think of me as a funny guy. I get much more of people telling me how much I make them laugh, actually. Which is nice.
— Paul Giamatti
In person, my father is so friendly, so considerate, so funny, and so real. I have admired my father all of my life, and I love him with all my heart.
— Tiffany Trump
I don't argue with people... if they say I'm not funny, they're right, for them.
— Hannibal Buress
If you look at shows like 'Def Comedy Jam' in its heyday, there were so many really funny, talented black comics that never would have gotten on that show because they just weren't doing comedy that fit that mold.
— Aisha Tyler
I feel like, if there's an elephant in the room, I'd really like to start off by introducing the elephant in the room. And sometimes it's funny.
— Louis Theroux
I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.
— Steve Harvey
I auditioned for a movie recently, and when I went in, the producer said he'd told one of its stars, Naomi Watts, that he was auditioning me, and she'd said, 'She's so funny; she's a great actress - you should hire her.' What a lovely, kind, and supportive thing to do for another woman.
— Isla Fisher
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make it really funny so I can screenshot it and save it for later.
— Sabrina Carpenter
I think politics is extremely funny in and of itself.
— Jesse Watters
It's funny how God will change your plans for you when he's ready.
— Brett Young
My friend and I founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival to counter the negative images of Arabs in media. And we always made sure that the comedy came first. So we weren't a bunch of Arabs trying to be funny. We were a bunch of comedians who just happened to be of Arab heritage.
— Maysoon Zayid
We spend a lot of time on Skype and other video interviews, and it's funny how many people will prepare for a Skype interview by wearing a formal suit jacket with pajama pants on the bottom. Then suddenly, someone is at the door, and you have to get up, and you realize you're wearing reindeer boxers. Just put pants on.
— Kathryn Minshew
I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
— Kate Klise
The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia.
— Seal
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.
— Jennifer Aniston
But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.
— Charlie Sheen
The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' - we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties.
— George Saunders
A lot of modern comedies are difficult to watch too, because they're so ironic and so detached and so quote-unquote clever. They kind of keep you at arm's length. They can be really funny, but they're not really nourishing.
— Ty Burrell
I'd love to do a comedy. I'm terrified of comedy. I don't think I'm funny, but I guess that's why it's so thrilling.
— Jared Padalecki
There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.
— Tim Heidecker
Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.
— Bill Gates
I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
— Hillary Clinton
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.
— Steven Wright
You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.
— Rush Limbaugh
The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
— Voltaire
It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.
— Chuck Palahniuk
I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.
— Angelina Jolie
Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don't mind laughing at it before you guys do.
— Kevin Hart
The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'
— Richard Branson
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
— Will Rogers
It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. 
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.
— Ridley Scott
When you're in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again. Eventually, the joke starts to not be funny. So you have to be careful that you're not throwing the baby out with the bath water.
— Ridley Scott
You need to be silly to be funny.
— William Shatner
I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.
— Joe Biden
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
— Alanis Morissette
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
— Samuel Butler
As for our majority... one is enough.
— Benjamin Disraeli
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
— Joan Rivers
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them.
— Kurt Vonnegut
The tricky thing becomes: Do you know yourself well enough to then portray that on screen? And for me, I find that really hard. I'd rather hide behind accents and funny walks.
— Joel Edgerton
From my perspective, probably women are won over by people who are sweet and respectful and courteous and kind and funny. I think those are the things that win women over.
— Zooey Deschanel
I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.
— Megan Fox
I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.
— Molly Ivins
Who included me among the ranks of the human race?
— Joseph Brodsky
The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.
— Adam McKay
There's a funny thing about fame. The truth is you run as fast as you can towards it because it's everything you want. Not just the fame but what it represents, meaning work, meaning opportunity. And then you get there, and it's shocking how immediately you become enveloped in this world that is incredibly restricting.
— George Clooney
I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.
— Karl Lagerfeld
What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.
— Victoria Beckham
I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issues.
— Chuck Norris
It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.
— Octavia Spencer
You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
— Larry David
Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.
— Michael Pollan
I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
— Billy Crystal
It's funny, in a way the actor is a writer. It's not like the two things are so separate as to be like apples and oranges. The writer and the actor are one.
— Sam Shepard
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
— Dick Cavett
It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child.
— Dave Grohl
In my film 'Queen', there was a funny moment with the bra. My director called and said they are blurring the bra. They said it is vulgar. Our director was furious about it. We are artistes... We see props as they are. A woman's bra is not a danger to the society.
— Kangana Ranaut
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself.
— Olivia Wilde
All directors are control freaks and very obsessive. I get the feeling that directors as kids, they all have had a childhood with not too much contact with other kids. They constructed their own reality and they continue to do it. It's a funny breed, directors.
— Stellan Skarsgard
It's funny as I get older I'm reverting to my roots - I want to plant stuff.
— Melissa McCarthy
It's a weird thing. Rick Springfield wrote 'Jessie's Girl,' and he probably gets sick of talking about 'Jessie's Girl.' The thing is, I didn't write 'Blurred Lines.' I didn't direct the music video. I'm really happy for the success, but it is kind of a funny thing to follow me around.
— Emily Ratajkowski
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
— Demetri Martin
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
— Demetri Martin
I'm surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don't have any problem telling me I'm acting like an idiot or I'm not that funny.
— Paloma Faith
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.
— LeBron James
What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.
— Susan Orlean
The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you.
— Chris Evans
It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment!
— Garth Brooks
It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.
— Liam Neeson
It's funny because I think that both France and Britain are known for their distinctive styles, and everyone says that France is so chic and elegant but I think, more than that, French women are renowned for dressing in what suits them.
— Alexa Chung
If you imagine yourself to be someone who is very uncomfortable in their own skin, then it does funny things to your voice.
— Rebecca Hall