c2p-cmd/Good-Quotes-Authors huggingface dataset:
It is precisely democracy which is destroying the American political structure, American law, and the American economy.
— Rose Wilder Lane
Conventional wisdom would have one believe that it is insane to resist this, the mightiest of empires, but what history really shows is that today's empire is tomorrow's ashes; that nothing lasts forever, and that to not resist is to acquiesce in your own oppression. The greatest form of sanity that anyone can exercise is to resist that force that is trying to repress, oppress, and fight down the human spirit.
— Mumia Abu-Jamal
In a covenant...among proprietor and community tenants for the purpose of protecting their private property, no such thing as a right to free (unlimited) speech exists, not even to unlimited speech on one’s own tenant-property. One may say innumerable things and promote almost any idea under the sun, but naturally no one is permitted to advocate ideas contrary to the very covenant of preserving and protecting private property, such as democracy and communism. There can be no tolerance toward democrats and communists in a libertarian social order. They will have to be physically separated and removed from society.
— Hans-Hermann Hoppe
Collectivism means the subjugation of the individual to a group—whether to a race, class or state does not matter. Collectivism holds that man must be chained to collective action and collective thought for the sake of what is called “the common good.
— Ayn Rand
Do not consider Collectivists as "sincere but deluded idealists". The proposal to enslave some men for the sake of others is not an ideal; brutality is not "idealistic," no matter what its purpose. Do not ever say that the desire to "do good" by force is a good motive. Neither power-lust nor stupidity are good motives.
— Ayn Rand
The movement that I’m in favor of is a movement of libertarians who do not substitute whim for reason. Now some of them do, obviously, and I’m against that. I’m in favor of reason over whim. As far as I’m concerned, and I think the rest of the movement, too, we are anarcho-capitalists. In other words, we believe that capitalism is the fullest expression of anarchism, and anarchism is the fullest expression of capitalism. Not only are they compatible, but you can’t really have one without the other. True anarchism will be capitalism, and true capitalism will be anarchism.
— Murray N. Rothbard
When shame is met with compassion and not received as conﬁrmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense — first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it.If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.
— Maureen Brady, Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
Sunglasses are more useful to a blind man than freedom of speech is to a man who does not think for himself.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Our greatest release is 2 free our selves from attachments of the past and concerns with the future-2 be able 2 live in the present moment.When we do this, we concentrate our energies, and we don't lose vitality by criticizing, comparing and judging.The quality of release frees us from guilt which is a great waste of energy. Release brings freedom from attachment 2 possessions or fear of loss.
— Angie karan
The United States, almost alone today, offers the liberties and the privileges and the tools of freedom. In this land the citizens are still invited to write their plays and books, to paint their pictures, to meet for discussion, to dissent as well as to agree, to mount soapboxes in the public square, to enjoy education in all subjects without censorship, to hold court and judge one another, to compose music, to talk politics with their neighbors without wondering whether the secret police are listening, to exchange ideas as well as goods, to kid the government when it needs kidding, and to read real news of real events instead of phony news manufactured by a paid agent of the state. This is a fact and should give every person pause.
— E.B. White, One Man's Meat
Patrick Henry said ‘give me liberty or give me death.’ I think his famous quote makes it crystal clear that the Constitutional framework of this country values liberty as an essential element of life, worth dying for. If something is worth such a sacrifice, how can the loss of it be justified for the argument that it will make us safer to give up our liberty and our civil rights? Are we to tell the mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers of all the soldiers lost in foreign wars that it was all a big lie? That they died for nothing?
— Kenneth Eade, The Spy Files
We must affirm freedom and responsibility without denying that we are the product of circumstance, and must affirm that we are the product of circumstance without denying that we have the freedom to transcend that causality to become something which could not even have been provisioned from the circumstances which shaped us.
— Allen Wheelis, How People Change
When evil rules a time and place, certain good people are called upon to tell the truth to those who don't want to hear it.
— Anne F. Rockwell, Only Passing Through
We can't fix, only support each other to process, manage, transform, make life-journeys in own way.
— Jay Woodman
Happiness can't be made
—  it's been around since forever... just freely waiting to be chosen.
You aren't free until everything you obtain is free.
— Jonathan D Chase
The hour of our release draws near.
— Nick Spencer, Morning Glories, Vol. 1: For a Better Future
The more freedom you get, the less your mind and your body is strangled!
— Mehmet Murat ildan
A man in chains need not be a slave. If he has pride and self-respect he is a free man though a prisoner, and a constant danger to his jailers. Conversely, a slave who escapes is not a free man, but a runaway slave who may be caught and returned to servitude. A slave is one who accepts the identity ascribed to him by a master: "You are an inferior and unworthy person and so will remain, and therefore must serve me with obedience and humility.
— Allen Wheelis, How People Change
I walked alone through the twilit street. The wind was whirling, driving, carrying me like a slip of paper. Fragments of cast-iron sky flew and flew-they had another day, two days to hurtle through infinity… The unifs of passersby brushed against me, but I walked alone. I saw it clearly: everyone was saved, but there was no salvation for me. I did not want salvation …"(c)
— Yevgeny Zamyatin
Where there is love, it is Jesus that will surely triumph.
— Richard Wurmbrand, The Church In Chains
In life you have the freedom to pursue whatever your heart desires.
— Steven Redhead, Life Is Simply A Game
The cost of freedom is being strong enough to find the implement your own desires.
— Steven Redhead, Life Is Simply A Game
Maybe we're just falling stars, we once danced in the same skyline looking down at the world. And we've fallen like all others, from near and far, we've gathered together, but separated by time and space, keeping a part of that light that we've came with and spreading it in this dark world that we've chosen to live in, in order to shine some light and love around. Maybe we've chosen to believe one truth today, and find it to be false tomorrow. Maybe we're trying to not get attached to the idea that we now know it all. At night, we see the truth of where we've fallen from, gazing in that night sky full of distant stars, constellations, planets, the reflection of the sun on the moon, all with their own stories to tell. Sometimes we wonder why would we leave such a mysterious place, with an infinite amount of stories and wonders. Maybe it's because as stars we could've only seen each other's light from afar, but here we can listen more carefully to each other's story, embrace each other and kiss, discover more and more of what can be seen when infinite star dust potential is put into one body and given freedom to walk the Earth and wander, love and enjoy every moment until coming back. Maybe in the morning, we'll only see one star shining up there and forget the others. Maybe that is also how life and death is, and the beauty of the sunrise and sunset that come in between, our childhood years and old years, when we reflect on the stars that we once were and that we will once again be. Maybe, just maybe.
— Virgil Kalyana Mittata Iordache
She wore her battle scars like wings, looking at her you would never know that once upon a time she forgot how to fly
— Nikki Rowe
The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.
— Osho, Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously
When picking a leader, choose a peacemaker. One who unites, not divides. A cultured leader who supports the arts and true freedom of speech, not censorship.
— Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
Not everything happens for a reason
—  we claim that it does for a reason: to console ourselves.
Accepting necessary conflicts for the sake of improving the lives of children is the only fundamental moral crusade that matters.
— Stefan Molyneux
I will feel no guilt on shutting my door to those who didn't listen.
— Stefan Molyneux
Compassion without discipline is egregious self-sabotage.
— Stefan Molyneux
The only way to go beyond death is to accept death. Then it disappears. The only way to be fearless is to accept fear. Then the energy is released and becomes freedom.
— Osho, Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously
Be sure to bend but never break
— Nikki Rowe
The creative mind can turn chaos into a master piece and call it Art.
— Nikki Rowe
Government as we now know it in the USA and other economically advanced countries is so manifestly horrifying, so corrupt, counterproductive, and outright vicious, that one might well wonder how it continues to enjoy so much popular legitimacy and to be perceived so widely as not only tolerable but indispensable. The answer, in overwhelming part, may be reduced to a two-part formula: bribes and bamboozlement (classically "bread and circuses"). Under the former rubric falls the vast array of government "benefits" and goodies of all sorts, from corporate subsidies and privileges to professional grants and contracts to welfare payments and health care for low-income people and other members of the lumpenproletariat. Under the latter rubric fall such measures as the government schools, the government's lapdog news media, and the government's collaboration with the producers of professional sporting events and Hollywood films. Seen as a semi-integrated whole, these measures give current governments a strong hold on the public's allegiance and instill in the masses and the elites alike a deep fear of anything that seriously threatens the status quo.
— Robert Higgs
Censorship is alive and well in America.
— Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
Why should you desire to compel others; why should you seek to have power— that evil, bitter, mocking thing, which has been from of old, as it is today, the sorrow and curse of the world—over your fellow-men and fellow-women? Why should you desire to take from any man or woman their own will and intelligence, their free choice, their own self-guidance, their inalienable rights over themselves; why should you desire to make of them mere tools and instruments for your own advantage and interest; why should you desire to compel them to serve and follow your opinions instead of their own; why should you deny in them the soul—that suffers so deeply from all constraint—and treat them as a sheet of blank paper upon which you may write your own will and desires, of whatever kind they may happen to be? Who gave you the right, from where do you pretend to have received it, to degrade other men and women from their own true rank as human beings, taking from them their will, their conscience, and intelligence—in a word, all the best and highest part of their nature—turning them into mere empty worthless shells, mere shadows of the true man and women, mere counters in the game you are mad enough to play, and just because you are more numerous or stronger than they, to treat them as if they belonged not to themselves, but to you? Can you believe that good will ever come by morally and spiritually degrading your fellow-men? What happy and safe and permanent form of society can you hope to build on this pitiful plan of subjecting others, or being yourselves subjected by them?
— Auberon Herbert
Our politicians tell us we are free, even though most governments take over 50% of what we earn. They claim we get services that we need for our hard-earned money, even though we could buy the same services at half the price from the private sector. Today, we ridicule the slave-owners' claim that they "gave back" to their slaves by housing, clothing, feeding them, and bestowing upon them the "benefits" of civilization instead of leaving them in their native state. We see this as a self-serving justification for exploitation. In the future, we will view being forcibly taxed to pay for things we don't want, such as bombs for the Middle East, subsidies for tobacco, other people's abortions, regulations that put small businesses out of business, prisons for people trying to feel good, keeping life-saving medications out of the hands of dying people, etc., as taking away our freedom. When even a small portion of our lives is spent enslaved, that part tends to dominate the rest of our time. If we don't put our servitude first as we structure the remainder of our lives, our masters will make sure we regret it. How much freedom do we need to survive and how much do we need to thrive?
— Mary J. Ruwart
Love can only be true and free when you are fully healed from painful past and any form of brokenness.
— Kemi Sogunle
Comfort yields complacency. Break free.
— A.D. Posey
Our democracy depends on an informed citizenry to survive, Your Honor. Besides the advancement of truth, science and morality in general, the freedom of the press is a backbone of democracy. It exists to keep the government transparent, and the human instruments of government honest.
— Kenneth Eade, The Spy Files
Writing is pure sweet freedom.
— J. Hale Turner
If your freedom can not develop you than it is better to alive as a slave.
— Aditya Pandya
People don't realise that to be free means to be firmly attached to a system, that discipline is the road to a higher freedom.
— Chandrasekharendra Saraswati
God Please help Man find his lost Freedom faster. So that the rest of the creatures on earth who deserve it more can have theirs back.
— Surabhi Dhar
Freedom starts in the belief that we are capable of change.
— Trish Blackwell
I cannot pinpoint a moment when I became politicized, when I knew that I would spend my life in the liberation struggle. To be an African in South Africa means that one is politicized from the moment of one's birth, whether one acknowledges it or not...His life is circumscribed by racist laws and regulations that cripple his growth, dim his potential, and stunt his life...I had no epiphany, no singular revelation, no moment of truth, but a steady accumulation of a thousand slights, a thousand indignities, a thousand unremembered moments, produced in me an anger, a rebelliousness, a desire to fight the system that imprisoned my people. There was no particular day on which I said, From henceforth I will devote myself to the liberation of my people; instead, I simply found myself doing so, and could not do otherwise.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
Neoclassical theology corrects misconceptions about God that are neither experientially true nor biblically grounded. If God were "omnipotent" in the sense of absolute determinism, then creation, and especially humans, would have no freedom. Freedom and absolute determinism negate one another. From the perspective of process metaphysics, if God were fully deterministic, then one could not speak of freedom of the will, the ability to choose to participate in God's creativity or not. God is in control, but God is not a control freak! God is not a "tyrant," puppeter, or robotic engineer!
— Karen Baker-Fletcher, Dancing with God: The Trinity from a Womanist Perspective
Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.
— Charles Bukowski, Barfly
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
— Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.
— Charles Bukowski
I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.
— Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing
Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?"He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" -- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -- "distracting?"I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell
— Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
— Irina Dunn
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
— Oscar Wilde
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
When I was your age, television was called books.
— William Goldman, The Princess Bride
Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones.""You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.
— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.
— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
— Oscar Wilde
Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper."Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole.""What?" Piper asked."Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.
— Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
— Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence."You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings.""Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!""Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."..."I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?""Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.""I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.
— James Patterson
It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting "Cathy" and banging your head against a tree.
— Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary
Just because you said dragon demons were extinct—""I said mostly extinct."Alec jabbed a finger toward him."Mostly extinct," he said, his voice trembling with rage, "is NOTEXTINCT ENOUGH.""I see," said Jace. "I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?
— Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
You're not very nice," I say, grinning."You're one to talk.""Hey, I could be nice if I tried.""Hmm." He taps his chin. "Say something nice, then.""You're very good-looking."He smiles, his teeth a flash in this dark. "I like this 'nice' thing.
— Veronica Roth, Allegiant
Short cuts make long delays.
— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it
— Fernando Pessoa
All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
— Blaise Pascal, Pensées
Asscrown," I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn't proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it.Noah matched my pace. "Don't you mean 'assclown'?" He looked amused."No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though I was reading from a dictionary of modern profanity."I guess you nailed me then.
— Michelle Hodkin, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'.
— Joss Whedon
Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!
— Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction
We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?
— Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman
There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
— Mark Twain
my heart has more rooms in it than a whore house
— Gabriel García Márquez
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
— Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.
— Joss Whedon
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
— Oscar Wilde, The Artist as Critic: Critical Writings of Oscar Wilde
Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.
— Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns
What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.
— Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way.
— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
— George Carlin
When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed
— Laurell K. Hamilton
Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.
— Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Is Jase already gonna marry you?” I start coughing again. “Uh, No. No, George. I’m only seventeen.” As if that’s the only reason we’re not engaged. “I’m this many.” George holds up four, slightly grubby fingers. “But Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family.” Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. “George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on.” George backs out of the room but not before saying, “His bed’s really comfortable. And he never pees in it.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door
This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?"What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you?
— Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...
— Terry Pratchett
You stole a boat,” she snapped. “What am I doing with you, you boat-stealing lunatic?
— Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls
Today as always, men fall into two groups: slaves and free men. Whoever does not have two-thirds of his day for himself, is a slave, whatever he may be: a statesman, a businessman, an official, or a scholar.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Come on, Rory! It isn't rocket science, it's just quantum physics!-The Doctor (Matt Smith)
— Steven Moffat
I am who I am and that's who I am
— Nikolai Gogol
Oh, I can never get enough. Which, incidentally, is what your sister said when--
— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel
Yes, I am here. And you are lucky to be here too after all the absurd things you've done since you left home.
— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.
— Robert Jordan, Winter's Heart
Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?
— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
THAT'S IT!" Terminus cried. "That's AGAINST THE RULES!"Polybotes frowned, obviously confused that he was being told off by a statue. "What are you?" he growled. "Shut up!"He pushed the statue over and turned back to Percy."Now I'm MAD!" Terminus shrieked. "I'm strangling you. Feel that? Those are my hands around your neck, you big bully. Get over here! I'm going to head-butt you so hard--
— Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune
Language is my whore, my mistress, my wife, my pen-friend, my check-out girl. Language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God, the dew on a fresh apple, it's the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning sun when you pull from an old bookshelf a forgotten volume of erotic diaries; language is the faint scent of urine on a pair of boxer shorts, it's a half-remembered childhood birthday party, a creak on the stair, a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, the warm wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl, cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot.
— Stephen Fry
Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an insult?
— Tamora Pierce, In the Hand of the Goddess
Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music.
— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you smell like Magnus.
— Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls
Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.
— Charles M. Schulz
Kindness suits you.""Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.
— Derek Landy
Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!— Russ Cargill
— Matt Groening
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something. 
— Gertrude Stein
Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you.
— Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
What's so unpleasant about being drunk?""Ask a glass of water!
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
She took out a shiny folded pamphlet, the kind they kept stacked in clear plastic stands in hospital waiting rooms. "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.
— Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off. A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch, but it has its own peculiar dreadfulness which connoisseurs of the ghastly and dog owners everywhere have come to know and dread. It's like having a small piece of defrosting liver pressed lovingly against you.
— Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”“We make a great team.”“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.
— Derek Landy, Death Bringer
Armageddon was yesterday, today we have a serious problem.
— Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Big flashy things have my name written all over them. Well... not yet, give me time and a crayon.
— Matt Smith
You really saw some?" Liz said an hour later. Sure, we had the stereo blaring and the shower running, but Liz still whispered, "They really...exist?" "Liz," I whispered back, "they're not unicorns." "No," Bex said flatly, "they're boys. And they're...good.
— Ally Carter, Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
— Woody Allen
I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained ina variety of martial arts by some of the best ﬁghters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.
— Derek Landy, Mortal Coil
Hello? This is Clary Fairchild.”“Clary? It’s me, Emma.”“Oh, Emma, hi! I haven’t heard from you in ages. My mom says thanks for the wedding flowers, by the way. She wanted to send a note but Luke whisked her away on a honeymoon to Tahiti.”“Tahiti sounds nice.”“It probably is — Jace, what are you doing with that thing? There is no way it’ll fit.”“Is this a bad time?”“What? No! Jace is trying to drag a trebuchet into the training room. Alec, stop helping him.”“What’s a trebuchet?”“It’s a huge catapult.”“What are they going to use it for?”“I have no idea. Alec, you’re enabling! You’re an enabler!”“Maybe it is a bad time.”“I doubt there’ll be a better one. Is something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”“I think we have your cat.”“What?”“Your cat. Big fuzzy Blue Persian? Always looks angry? Julian says it’s your cat. He says he saw it at the New York Institute. Well, saw him. It’s a boy cat.”“Church? You have Church? But I thought — well, we knew he was gone. We thought Brother Zachariah took him. Isabelle was annoyed, but they seemed to know each other. I’ve never seen Church actually likeanyone like that.”“I don’t know if he likes anyone here. He bit Julian twice. Oh, wait. Julian says he likes Ty. He’s asleep on Ty’s bed.”“How did you wind up with him?”“Someone rang our front doorbell. Diana, she’s our tutor, went down to see what it was. Church was in a cage on the front step with a note tied to it. It said For Emma. This is Church, a longtime friend of the Carstairs. Take care of this cat and he will take care of you. —J.”“Brother Zachariah left you a cat.”“But I don’t even really know him. And he’s not a Silent Brother any more.”“You may not know him, but he clearly knows you.”“What do you think the J stands for?”“His real name. Look, Emma, if he wants you to have Church, and you want Church, you should keep him.”“Are you sure? The Lightwoods —“‘They’re both standing here nodding. Well, Alec is partially trapped under a trebuchet, but he seems to be nodding.”“Jules says we’d like to keep him. We used to have a cat named Oscar, but he died, and, well, Church seems to be good for Ty’s nightmares.”“Oh, honey. I think, really, he’s Brother Zachariah’s cat. And if he wants you to have him, then you should.”“Why does Brother Zachariah want to protect me? It’s like he knows me, but I don’t know why he knows me.”“I don’t exactly know … But I know Tessa. She’s his — well, girlfriend seems not the right word for it. They’ve known each other a long, long time. I have a feeling they’re both watching over you.”“That’s good. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”“Emma — oh my God. The trebuchet just crashed through the floor. I have to go. Call me later.”“But we can keep the cat?”“You can keep the cat.
— Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight
You curse a lot.''Fuck you - I hardly curse at all.
— Tere Michaels, Faith & Fidelity
My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.
— George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords
I have no objection to anyone’s sex life as long as they don’t practice it in the street and frighten the horses.
— Oscar Wilde
Tucker: "Today we ran into a mama grizzly with two cubs at the ridge off Colter Bay and Clara sang to it to make it go away."Mrs. Avery: You sang to it?Tucker: Her singing is that bad.
— Cynthia Hand, Unearthly
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of 
— Bill Maher
Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand." -[On the success of 50 Shades of Grey]
— J.K. Rowling
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
— Groucho Marx
There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.
— Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
The English language is like London: proudly barbaric yet deeply civilised, too, common yet royal, vulgar yet processional, sacred yet profane. Each sentence we produce, whether we know it or not, is a mongrel mouthful of Chaucerian, Shakespearean, Miltonic, Johnsonian, Dickensian and American. Military, naval, legal, corporate, criminal, jazz, rap and ghetto discourses are mingled at every turn. The French language, like Paris, has attempted, through its Academy, to retain its purity, to fight the advancing tides of Franglais and international prefabrication. English, by comparison, is a shameless whore.
— Stephen Fry, The Ode Less Travelled: Unlocking the Poet Within
What would killing the Elders result in?" "Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?
— Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant
I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum
— Janet Evanovich, One for the Money
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
— Fernando Pessoa
People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.
— Oscar Wilde
Don't call me 'gentleman'. I work for a livin'.
— Tamora Pierce
The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”“I am.”“Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”“Sure,” Kenny said, slightly bafﬂed.“Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I suddenly accuse you of murder.
— Derek Landy, Death Bringer
Hey, Carrots," he says.
— Cynthia Hand, Unearthly
After all, what could you expect from a pig but a grunt?
— L.M. Montgomery
But the plans were on display…”“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”“That’s the display department.”“With a flashlight.”“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”“So had the stairs.”“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
— Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
Revenge may be wicked, but it’s natural.
— William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
— Dorothy Parker
Holy freak show!
— Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west."The sun rises in the east, dickhead."Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.
— Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction
The eidolons started pounding on the door. 'Who is it?' Leo called. 'Valdez!''Valdez who?
— Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena
Most men are not wicked... They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers.
— Franz Kafka
Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I'm not dead.
— Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
I said breathe. Not do a fish-out of-water imitation.
— Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever
I would say happy new year but it's not happy
—  it's exactly the same as last year except colder.
Every day's a negotiation and sometimes it's done with guns.
— Joss Whedon
I kind of have to go to the bathroom," Aria said woozily.Ezra smiled. "Can I come?
— Sara Shepard, Pretty Little Liars
I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.
— Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman
Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam frenchfries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I startedcracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us. "I do notunderstand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."I busted up, and I probably would've kept laughing all day, but then I heard a noise:"Moooo."The smile melted off my face. I wondered if the noise was just in my head, but Groverhad stopped laughing too. He was looking around, confused. "Did I just hear a cow?""A dam cow?" Thalia laughed.
— Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse
I am never taking a trip with either of you ever again.' Eve said. 'Ever.'Excellent' Shane said. 'Then next trip, we hit the strip bar.'I have a gun, Shane,' Eve sighed.What, you think i actually loaded yours?'Eve flipped him off, and Claire laughed.
— Rachel Caine, Kiss of Death
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
— Bill Hicks
Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.Cordelia: I stand corrected.Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
— Mutant Enemy/ Joss Whedon
Consider me your candy stripper... I mean striper.
— Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction
And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
— Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand
Oh shit did you just dis the feminine genderI'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blenderYou think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhymeBut I got flow like Ghostbusters got slimeObjectify women and it's fuckin' onYou'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon.
— John Green, Looking for Alaska
When did you get so smart?"He tapped his forehead. "Brain transplant. They put in a whale's. I'm passing all my classes with my eyes closed now, but I just can't get over this craving for krill." He shrugged. "And I feel sorry for the whale that got my brain. Probably swimming around Florida now trying to catch glimpses of girls in bikinis.
— Maggie Stiefvater, Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception
For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.
— Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
Finally, the intercom crackles and Hatmitch's acerbic laugh fills the studio. He contains himself just long enough to say, 'And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.
— Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
— Albert Schweitzer
You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.
— Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb
Why do only the awful things become fads? I thought. Eye-rolling and Barbie and bread pudding. Why never chocolate cheesecake or thinking for yourself?
— Connie Willis, Bellwether
Who's Kreacher?""The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him.""He is not a nutter," said Hermione."His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother", said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?
— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.
— John Green, Looking for Alaska
Snyder: There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense."Giles: Well, actually, that would be one of the five.
— Mutant Enemy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
It's supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button. 
— John Brunner, Stand on Zanzibar
The whole world's writing novels, but nobody's reading them.
— Robert Galbraith, The Silkworm
Is he all scarred now?”“Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
— Derek Landy, Playing with Fire
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you'll be under my knife again, often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly: No matter what you do or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us, I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe... 'cause I'm your medic. And however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. 'Cause I don't see this working any other way. River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
— Ben Edlund
If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.
— Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
— Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top
I got swirling eyes and the capacity to shatter windows with my bare voice. Tod got teleportation and invisibility. The supernatural world is so far from fair.
— Rachel Vincent, My Soul to Keep
I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush.
— Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding
That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain. Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. (to Inara) Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.
— Joss Whedon
Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?" said a cold, drawling voice.Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him."Yeah, reckon so," said Harry casually."Got plenty of special features, hasn't it?" said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. "Shame it doesn't come with a parachute - in case you get too near a Dementor."Crabbe and Goyle sniggered."Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy," said Harry. "Then it could catch the Snitch for you.
— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
— Dylan Moran
Is this what you do with your spare time?” he asked me, ignoring his sister.“What—are you deciding to talk to me now?” Smiling tightly, I grabbed a handful of mulch and dumped it. Rinse and repeat. “Yeah, it’s kind of a hobby. What’s yours? Kicking puppies?
— Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian
Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.
— Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence