Признайте все свои чувства и эмоции. Забудьте о сроках. Не переживайте, если почувствуете оцепенение. Возьмите отпуск. Обратитесь к своей вере. Временно не принимайте никаких решений. Позвольте времени сделать свое дело.

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You're entitled to whatever feelings come up.  You may experience intense anger, guilt, denial, sorrow, and fear, all of which are normal for a bereaved parent. Nothing is off the table, nothing is wrong. If the urge to cry comes up, just do it. Give yourself permission to feel. Keeping your emotions bottled up is just way too hard. If you keep your emotions inside, you'll only make yourself feel worse about the saddest thing you have ever experienced. It's perfectly natural and even healthy to let yourself feel everything you can about this loss, because this will put you on the path to accepting it. You won't ever fully be able to get over it, but you'll be able to build the strength to deal with the death of your child. If you don't embrace your feelings, you won't be able to move forward. There is no timetable to your grieving process. Every individual is just that: an individual.  Bereaved parents may experience many of the same emotions and difficulties; however, each parent's journey is different depending on personality and life circumstances.  For years, we relied on the popular notion that people progress through five stages of grief that begin with denial and end with acceptance. The new thinking is that there is no series of steps to be completed in the grieving process. Instead, people experience a grab bag of feelings and symptoms that come and go and eventually lift. In a recent research study, scientists learned that many people accept the death of a loved one right from the beginning and report more yearning for the lost individual than feelings of anger or depression. Because the grieving process is so personal to each individual, couples sometimes find themselves at odds because they can't understand the other's way of dealing with the loss. Understand that your spouse may have different coping mechanisms than you do and allow them to grieve in the way that suits them. During the grieving process, many people will experience a state of numbness. In this state, the world may seem like a...


Признайте конфликт. Сосредоточьтесь на проблеме, а не на человеке. Проявите инициативу.

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Pretending that nothing is wrong isn’t the way to handle a conflict. Begin by admitting there’s a problem that needs resolution. Acknowledge the conflict and the roles you and the other person have played in creating or sustaining the problem. Be honest with yourself about your own role in the situation.  Think about what factors are influencing the problem, such as scheduling, personality conflicts, feeling overworked, or disrupting some kind of perceived pecking order.  Look at not only your side, but the other side as well. Looking at both sides can help you understand the problem from both perspectives. If the conflict is not personal, don’t make it personal. Put your focus on the problem and finding ways to solve that problem. You can’t change the person, and you will likely continue working with them. Even if you don’t want to be friends with the person, keep your focus on the problem without making it a personal issue. It’s easy to feel personally attacked for something, especially if it’s regarding your work. Do your best to not take things personally and keep everything within the lens of your work. It is important to address issues as soon as possible to prevent them from becoming larger issues in the future. If you notice a problem, then address it right away. For example, you could hold a meeting to discuss the issue and work together to find a solution.   Don’t wait for the person to come to you. Be the first one to bring up the problem, no matter what your role is. Sometimes a conflict can arise over a personal failure. Even so, handling failure at work with honesty and integrity can do much to prevent even worse conflicts from emerging.


Признайте красоту своей жены. Наслаждайтесь молодостью жены.

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Be sure that you are giving her enough of that kind of appreciation and attention. You do not want everyone else showing appreciation for your wife when you are not.  Be sure to acknowledge the many other wonderful attributes of your wife and not just her outer appearance. If she enjoys being appreciated for her appearance, your interference might be perceived negatively. As women get older, their appearance changes. This does not mean that your wife will no longer be attractive, but it does mean that she probably will not receive that type of attention forever.


Признайте наличие проблемы. Поговорите с кем-нибудь о стрессе, связанном с долгами. Старайтесь улучшить свое самочувствие. Знайте, в каких ситуациях следует обратиться за помощью.

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A common reaction to even severe debt is to go into denial about the seriousness of the situation. Debt can be an intensely difficult thing to deal with emotionally, but it’s essential that you acknowledge the situation and the impact it is having on you. There is an increasing amount of evidence that shows the impact of indebtedness on stress and mental health, so this isn’t something you should ignore.  Being in denial about your debt can make the situation worse and delay your reaction. Don’t wait for a major event, such as a foreclosure notice, to acknowledge your debt problems. Indebtedness can have a huge toll on you psychologically, so try and talk to someone about your situation. Talking to friends or family may be difficult, so seek the help of a therapist if your debt stress is really causing you problems. This is an important part of acknowledging the situation. Only once you have acknowledged your financial situation will you be able to take the necessary next steps to deal with it. Always seek impartial advice from a credit counsellor, but don’t neglect the psychological impact of debt. It’s completely normal to be anxious and stressed about a difficult financial situation, but you can take steps to help you to feel more positive. Of course dealing with the debt and finding a way forward financially is essential, but you can also try to improve your mood. This may even help you to deal with the debt and focus on finding a route forward.  Try to be active. Exercise lots, but also spend time with friends and doing everyday tasks. Face your fears by getting some debt advice and coming to terms with the problem. Try not to drink too much. Some people use alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety, but drinking could add to your problems. If your feelings or stress and anxiety don’t alleviate, and these feelings are starting to have an impact on your ability to live your life, you should make an appointment with your doctor. If your negative feelings persist for weeks, you doctor may recommend you see a...


Признайте пассивно-агрессивное поведение. Слушайте и наблюдайте. Забудьте о сарказме. Забудьте о временном согласии. Замечайте намеренную неэффективность. Не усугубляйте проблемы. Замечайте скрытую, но осознанную месть.

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The first step in becoming less passive aggressive is developing self awareness about your behavior. Watch out for behaviors such as social withdrawal, pouting, performing tasks inefficiently (on purpose), stubbornness, and procrastination.  The chronic nature of this trait means it didn't develop overnight, so making changes will take time and determination. Communication is just as much about listening and reading unspoken messages as it is about speaking openly and directly. Consider what the other person is saying or not saying in response to your own actions. They could be as passive aggressive as you are. Look at things from a different perspective. Could you be over-reacting? Take a step back and review the situation again. Sarcasm is a common fall-back for people with passive aggression and will only worsen bad situations. These are some common phrases to avoid:   "Whatever" "I'm FINE" Why are you so upset?" I'm just kidding" In work situations, an employee engages in a specific type of passive aggression called temporary compliance when he agrees to a task and then is late in completing the task. He may be late because of procrastinating, arriving late to meetings or check-ins, or misplacing important documents. Employees usually engage in temporary compliance when they feel underappreciated at work but don't know how to appropriately express these feelings.  If you find yourself engaging in temporary compliance, try to determine whether or not you're doing this because you don't feel appreciated. This type of passive aggression could take place in the home as well.  You may tell your partner that you will do the dishes consistently, for example, and then put it off to intentionally annoy her. With intentional inefficiency, a person values the opportunity to be hostile more than he values his own competence. An example of this would be an employee who continues to produce the same amount of work with the quality of the work significantly decreasing. Employees who are confronted about this behavior...


Признайте пользу риска. Удовлетворенность жизнью. Различные виды риска. Заводите друзей, которые умеют рисковать. Отказ рисковать – это тоже риск.

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Risk-taking behavior allows you to feel a sense of independence, have a new experience, and establish yourself as an individual. While risks can be scary, they allow you to push past your perception of limitations and try something new. Risks can change your self-perception and help you realize you are capable of many things. Some people challenge themselves to run a marathon despite not being physically active. Coming from a place of no fitness to running a marathon is an incredibly large feat, one they may not have thought possible before finishing. Happier people take risks. Happiness allows you to become more open to possibilities, and more trusting and generous. When you feel happy, you are more willing to believe that the odds are in your favor. Before taking a risk, check in with your own happiness. Go do something you enjoy (like hiking or bike riding) before you make big decisions. Think about your ability to experience a positive outcome. While some people  are more likely to take financial risks (like making investments or gambling), others are more likely to take social risks (like voicing an unpopular opinion in a work meeting). Recognize that risks can occur in many areas and affect life in many different ways. There is no “better” risk. Recognize that risk can include social risk, financial risk, stability risks, changing appearance, and so on. The kind of risks you take are up to you. When your social network is filled with people who enjoy taking risks, it increases your likelihood to engage in risks as well. The actions of one person tend to spread throughout the social network, leading to influencing other people as well. This can cause harm when the risk is alcohol or drugs, but can be of benefit when the risk can be positive, such as trying new sports like paragliding or snow shoeing. If you are fearful of backpacking, have friends that enjoy hiking and backpacking. Listen to them tell stories of enjoyment. Chances are, you’ll start to feel more comfortable about backpacking and maybe...


Признайте помощь, которую вы получили. Говорите искренне. Объясните, чем вам помогли.

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Even though you might feel embarrassed that you needed help, don’t pretend like it never happened. Directly acknowledge that you appreciate what the other person did for you. Try to make this acknowledgment shortly after receiving help.  If your professor stayed after class to go over your paper with you, say, “Thanks for staying. I appreciate your time.” Maybe your teen did some extra chores around the house when you were working late. Say, “That was really helpful of you to get dinner started.” When someone is helping you, it’s okay to be a little bit vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that they are genuinely helping you. For example, you could say, “Wow, thanks for watching the kids this evening. We really needed a date night!” Showing that your need was genuine is a good way to be sincere. Be specific when you thank someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, “Thanks for this session. I think you’ve given me some good tools to start overcoming my anxiety.” You could tell your partner, “Thanks for making dinner tonight. It meant a lot to me to be able to just put my feet up after a long day at work.”


Признайте потерю человека. Знайте, когда стоит промолчать. Спросите женщину, в чем она нуждается. Не думайте, что все реагируют одинаково. Не ограничивайте время, которое человек может потратить на оплакивание своего горя. Не обесценивайте утрату.

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Many people don't know how to react when someone they care about goes through a great loss like this. It is common to feel like maybe you shouldn't say anything: either because acknowledging it is too painful or because you're afraid that you'll say something hurtful. However, saying nothing can be even more hurtful than saying the wrong thing. Do acknowledge this terrible loss, even if only briefly. It will help and even this small gesture can make them feel less alone. All you have to say is something like, "I heard that you lost your child. I want to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your whole family. Please, let me know if there's anything at all that I can do to help you." Many people just don't know what to say in deeply serious situations like this. Admitting that you don't know how to react in a helpful way can actually, in itself, be helpful to your friend. When you do this, you show your humanity and communicate that you aren't avoiding them because they feel tainted or because you think they did something wrong. It also shows that you honestly do care about their feelings and don't want them to be hurt further. Say something like, "I don't really know what to say to make this better. I'm not very good at this kind of thing. But I hope you know that I am very sorry for your loss." The best place to start when consoling your friend is to simply ask her if there's anything that you can do. She might not want consoling, but there might be someone other way in which she could use your help. She'll know best what she needs from you right now. It is important that if you tell her you would like to do something for her, that you do what she asks. Going back on your word at this point can leave an incredibly powerful negative impact on your relationship. You may find that your friend does not seem that upset by her loss. You may also find that your friend grieves very openly and loudly. Your friend might start acting very differently, such as always wanting to go out. On the other hand, she might want...


Признайте преимущество ингредиентов, используемых для создания зубного порошка. Смешайте ингредиенты и хорошенько их расколотите. Нанесите сухую смесь на зубную щетку.

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As with homemade toothpaste, tooth powder can be made using a variety of recipes.  Often these natural products may sound a bit baffling — clay on your teeth? — so understanding the reasoning behind the ingredients in a sample tooth powder recipe is important:  Bentonite clay: this natural clay can bind to toxins in your body — including the mercury that may be found in dental fillings.  It is also rich in materials that can nourish teeth and gums. Baking soda: baking soda is a wonderful natural abrasive, and its alkaline qualities neutralize damaging acid. Sage: sage is a natural tooth-whitener and astringent. Xylitol: this natural sweetener is an important pH neutralizer and will help make homemade tooth powder more palatable. Be aware that xylitol is toxic to cats and dogs, so keep it out of your pet's reach. Sea salt: sea salt contains tooth-strengthening minerals and can alleviate gum inflammation. Don't use too much salt as large amounts may lead to swollen gums. Peppermint: peppermint has antibacterial, antiseptic, and pain-relieving properties in addition to its breath-freshening qualities. Use a non-metal spoon as some metals may react with your ingredients.  Mix 2 tablespoons bentonite clay, 2 tablespoons baking soda, 1 tablespoon dried, finely ground sage leaf, 1 tablespoon xylitol, and 1/2 teaspoon sea salt. Drip 15 to 20 drops of peppermint essential oil into the mixture and stir thoroughly to combine. Place in a container or jar with a tight-fitting lid, or consider placing in a squirt-top container (the grain of your mixture will be fine enough to "squirt").  Avoid metal containers. Store in a dry location. Dip your toothbrush in the powder, or squirt from your squirt-top bottle onto your damp toothbrush.  Use just as you would commercial toothpaste.


Признайте проблему. Определите свои ценности. Научитесь позитивному общению. При выражении своих потребностей используйте язык тела. Научитесь владеть своими желаниями и потребностями.

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When it comes to living a satisfying life, silence about what you want is the enemy. In order to find your voice and stop suffering in silence, you must acknowledge that you are not using your voice. Awareness of the problem is the first step towards changing it. Here are some signs that you may not be using your voice:  You often get stuck with work no one else wants to do. Other people get credit for your work or ideas. You often do things because others want to, but not for yourself. You feel dissatisfied because you are not living life on your own terms. . Your personal values are the beliefs, ideas, and principles that guide your decisions. Think of your values like a road map--they direct us down the life path that we want to be on. If you often feel like you are suffering in silence, you may be living against your personal values. If your personal values are unclear, you can learn to identify your values by completing an inventory. Assertiveness gives you the opportunity to be more open, honest, and direct in your communication. This will allow others to recognize your needs and so that you can feel as if your voice is being heard. Practicing assertiveness can help you overcome suffering in silence and boost self-confidence.  Practice being assertive frequently, in small ways, to get started. Reach out to someone every other day. Send a text or call family and friends, ask someone to coffee, or let a friend know that you need a shoulder to cry on. You might text your friend, "I've been feeling blue today and need a pick-me-up. Are you up for take-out at my place?" When you are talking to another person, turn towards them. Stand with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Have a pleasant, but firm, facial expression. Speak with a calm and soft voice, but be sure it is not overly quiet or whiney. Phrase your words in the form of "I" statements. This involves stating needs in a way that allows you to take ownership of them while minimizing defensiveness of others. For example, instead of saying "You...


Признайте проблему. Посмотрите фильм с мостом. Попробуйте перейти через небольшой мост. Следуйте заведенному порядку.

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Recognize that you have a fear of bridges, and that it needs to be overcome. Once you bring the condition to mind, you can start to work on acclimatizing yourself to bridges by watching films, imagining bridge crossings and crossing small bridges. By watching a film with a bridge in it, you can begin to desensitize yourself to the image and feel of crossing over bridges. There are numerous films with crossing bridges as a sub-theme and many of these films even include the word “bridge” in their title. You can search film databases, cable or online networks for films with the word “bridge” in the title.  In the 1995 Clint Eastwood film “Bridges of Madison County,” a national geographic photographer is shooting a story about the covered bridges of Madison county and falls in love with a woman who lives in the area. The 1957 film “The Bridge on the River Kwai” is a British-American war film that depicts the construction of a railway bridge to transport prisoners of war. Cross a smaller sized bridge with a group of friends, a counselor, or a therapist. By starting with a small bridge, you can start developing the physical and mental stamina for larger bridges. If you have strong social support from friends and a therapist, you may be able to gradually build up your stamina for crossing bridges. If you are undergoing treatment for your condition, you should follow your therapist's recommendation on this process. It is important to maintain all of your regular school and work routines. This will give you a sense of order and balance in life.


Признайте проблемы прошлого. Поймите, как травма воздействовала на мозг. Смиритесь с тем, что вы не способны изменить то, что произошло, но вы способны изменить свое отношение к этому. Попробуйте медитацию или йогу. Ведите дневник. Проводите время с другими людьми. Обратитесь за профессиональной помощью.

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Unresolved past experiences can sometimes produce lasting psychological and physiological effects. In such cases, it’s important to come to terms with how your past is affecting your current outlook or habits.  An important first step is to stop trying to pretend you aren't affected by past events. You can't get over the past until you accept it. If something happens that reminds you of a traumatic event or triggers a strong emotional reaction, try to calmly acknowledge to yourself that this is the case. Let yourself feel what you feel about the past. Later steps in this article provide some specific strategies to help with this. For example, if you find yourself in a social situation that triggers powerful emotions about the past, don't try to push them away. Instead, excuse yourself for a moment and step away from the group. Then, take a moment to reflect on the past and how it is affecting you before rejoining the group. The impact of past traumas can be especially strong if you are without a strong social support network.  Sometimes, the trauma resulting from past experiences can be so intense that it affects the people you care about. Unresolved past experience can prevent you from building strong relationships with your loved ones. They can also keep you preoccupied with dreams that never came to fruition. This, in turn, can affect your current outlook and habits in ways that make it hard to cope with obstacles in your life. Traumatic or particularly intense experiences can affect our neurochemistry. At times, this can even impact the structure of our brains.  If you find yourself feeling like you should just "get over it," remind yourself that reality is more complicated than that. Traumatic events can actually change the way your brain works. This can take a long time to overcome, so cut yourself some slack and try to be patient. Emerging research in neuroscience  suggests that brains have a certain “plasticity.” Our genetic predispositions can be manipulated and expressed in unpredictable ways after...


Признайте свои мужские привилегии. Когда женщина объясняет вам свое мнение, активно анализируйте сказанное. Не прибегайте к менсплейнингу. Не делайте сексистских замечаний и избегайте сексистских шуток. Узнавайте новое с помощью общения с феминистками и феминистами.

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Male privilege is the result of the patriarchal system we live in, where men are given more power and privilege than women.[citation needed] This means that as a man, you likely will earn higher wages than women, have a lower risk of sexual assault and sexual violence, and have access to financial and social support that is not extended to women. Because you benefit from male privilege as a man, it is important that you acknowledge this privilege in your discussions with feminists. This concept is also known as “checking your privilege”, where you recognize and acknowledge your male privilege before you respond to a woman who is speaking to you or to women that are in a shared space with you. This will allow you to keep in mind where you are coming from in relation to feminism and to be a positive ally to women. As a male feminist, it is important that you focus on active listening to women when they speak. This will show you are aware that women are the leaders in the feminist movement and that you are a supporting player in the movement. Though you may be used to asserting yourself in discussions with others, it is essential that you actively listen to women in discussions on feminism.  For example, perhaps you are in a conversation with a woman who identifies as a feminist. She may make a comment about the need for safe spaces for women to meet, talk, and hang out without heterosexual men around. You may feel that segregated spaces for women will feel exclusive to others. Rather than attack her point of view, ask her thoughtful questions about her comment and demonstrate you are actively listening to her. This means making eye contact with her, nodding your head as she speaks, and responding in an active way. For example, you may say, “What I am hearing you say is that safe spaces for women are important in our patriarchal society.” If she responds yes to your response, you can then present your argument. However, always check your privilege and acknowledge that you are viewing the situation from a male...


Признайте свои ошибки. Восстановите нарушенное доверие Примите твердое решение изменить ситуацию. Придерживайтесь своих решений.

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The person may be impressed to hear you admit anything you’ve done that has hurt or harmed them. Especially if they see you as stubborn, this can help them see a new side of you that they may not have considered, which can open the doors to love. Show that you are a bigger person than you were before. Say, “I know I made some mistakes, and I regret them. I was different then and have learned to be a better person.” . A big part of repairing trust is forgiveness. Forgive yourself and forgive them. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and the hardships you contributed to in your relationship. Forgive the other person for their mistakes, judgments, or problems. Then, begin to trust yourself. If you cheated, know that you won’t do it again. Also, trust them. If they cheated, trust them to not do it again. If you hurt the other person, don’t expect to earn their trust right away. Show them that you can be trusted by being honest. It’s time to get humble. If the relationship is on bad terms due to a mistake you made or bad habits you continued that your partner couldn’t handle, take responsibility and consider their view. Think back on the gripes they expressed and work on them on your own accord, without their prompting. Say that you are now listening to their feedback and willing to improve. Tell the person that you’re inspired to be better because of them. For example, if the person became distant or broke up with you due to your addiction, make this part of your motivation to get sober. It’s not enough to have good intentions, you have to follow through on them. Be solutions-focused in making changes happen by choosing to improve who you are as a person and as a partner. If you were a bad partner, make efforts to be more supportive, listen, and compromise. Take the initiative to create solutions, anticipate difficulties, and work through existing troubles.  Don’t just say that you’ll get treatment for an addiction. Find a therapist, go to a treatment center, or enroll in rehabilitation as soon as you can....


Признайте свои права. Самостоятельно принимайте решения Заново изучите свои предпочтения Признайте свои положительные качества.

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You are not alone, the abuse was not your fault, and no one ever deserves to experience abuse in any way. One step to healing from abuse is to recognize that you did nothing to deserve disrespectful treatment. As a human, you have rights to be treated decently by those in your life, by strangers, family members, and intimate partners alike. Recognize that each human has the right to be treated with respect, have their opinions heard, to change their mind, to be listened to and to be treated with respect at all times. . Emotionally abusive people often force you to put their needs, desires, and demands above your own. This desire for harmony and less conflict can slowly choke out your voice, leaving you feeling like you don’t know what you want or who you are. Learn to rediscover your inner voice. One way to do this is to begin making decisions on your own and learning not to second-guess yourself.  While decisions can be scary at first, start with small decisions and build your self-confidence. Try asking yourself something simple, such as, “What do I want for dessert tonight? Cherry ice cream or chocolate?” As you gain confidence making simple decisions, you may start to feel more confident about making more difficult decisions. Try to develop a system for making difficult decisions, such as identifying the problem and using a pros and cons list to weigh your options. . After enduring emotional abuse, you may have lost touch with your own preferences for things. Spend some time reclaiming yourself by engaging in liking and disliking things. Do things for yourself that bring you happiness and joy. Do things that you enjoy without worrying about pleasing anyone else. To start, you may go to a candle shop and find which scents you enjoy. You can also cook or buy foods that you enjoy on your own, even if other people don’t enjoy them. You may feel like your self-esteem has been shattered after enduring an emotionally abusive relationship. Take time to recognize your positive qualities. You can choose memories of...


Признайте свои сильные стороны. Будьте честны с собой Признавайте ошибки. Поговорите с человеком, которому вы доверяете. Обратитесь за профессиональной помощью.

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It's so easy to look in the mirror and point out your insecurities. But, instead of counting all the things you wish you could be, try counting all the things that you are. Make a list of your strengths, such as the things you are good at, the values that you hold, and the friends that you have. If you are having trouble brainstorming what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member what they think are your most positive traits. This is one of the hardest things for many of us to do, but it is a necessary step toward navigating your life. In many of today's societies that focus on the individual, we are encouraged to strive for success, and often we look for praise as the acknowledgment of that success. We take any criticism as a negative thing, so we shy away from seeing anything about ourselves that elicits that reaction. To try to be honest with yourself, imagine that you are observing yourself through a stranger's eyes. Ask yourself what that person thinks about you, and be as objective as possible based on the facts, rather than what you think about yourself. Remember that you can't fix it until you can admit there is a problem. You can view mistakes that you make as learning opportunities, as ways to get where you want to go in life. Have faith in yourself, realize only you can change you, only you can control your destiny.  Decide what is important to you and set your mind to it.  Remove self-doubt and have faith you can become what you envision. When you realize that mistakes are learning opportunities and that your reality isn't always fixed, you will be more likely to persist in the face of challenge, to persevere, and to grow in meaningful ways. Vent your feelings about your life to a friend or family member who cares for you and will give you the attention that you need. You may find that just by putting your thoughts out in the open that you realize that they are excessive or that your life isn't so bad after all. If you don't feel like just venting, try asking your friend or family member...


Признайте свои чувства. Научитесь противостоять чувству стыда. Взгляните на свои убеждения. Оцените, насколько высказанное вам замечание соответствует истине.

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Without pushing them away, feel whatever emotions come to you. Avoid any judgments about yourself, simply recognize how you feel and the fact that it's okay to feel this way. Think of your emotions like children. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk either. Give yourself a few moments to sit in your feelings. Then,  gain control of your emotions by thinking about what actions you'd like to take moving forward. What are these feelings trying to tell you? What can you do to come to peace with the situation? If shortly after the insult, you find yourself inwardly criticizing yourself for being not ___ enough, you need to take measures to resist shame. Shame is an emotion that you do not want running the show because it inhibits you from being vulnerable and connecting with your true self. When you feel shame, it means you are beating yourself up for not meeting your own or someone else's approval.  Resist shame by living out your values. When you are acting and making decisions that support your personal values, you connect with your true self. That way even if someone else has an issue with your choices, you can feel confident that they reflected your innermost desires and beliefs. If you are not sure what qualities are important to you, learn how to  define your personal values here. Another step towards healthy vulnerability is practicing self-awareness. When you engage in conscious self-awareness you are able to examine your personality traits, beliefs, and reactions to stress to see whether these factors are working for or against you. Do you have strong principles that may be contributing to your feeling insulted? Is your reaction a repeated behavior that causes you excessive grief? Are your relationships often compromised by values such as pride or a strong belief in right or wrong? Are these beliefs serving your emotional well-being? Whether good or bad, the people in our lives often represent mirrors. They see our habits, behaviors, and beliefs sometimes...


Признайте свои чувства. Проанализируйте то, как ваш  организм реагирует на чувства. Изучите слова, которыми называют чувства. Спросите себя, почему вы чувствуете что-то. Разделите сложные эмоции на простые.

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Before you can do anything else, you have to recognize and accept that you are going to have feelings and there is nothing wrong with that. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just exist. When you feel something, do not be angry with yourself. Instead, tell yourself, “I am feeling this way, and that is acceptable.” Feelings are driven by emotions, which are controlled by your brain. Take note of your physiological responses when you feel something. For example, you might sweat when you feel scared, your face might become warm when you are embarrassed, and your heart might race when you are angry. Keying into your bodily responses will help you recognize feelings as they come. If you are having difficulty tuning into your body, try physically relaxing your body by sitting in a quiet place and taking deep breaths. Repeat the mantra, “What is this feeling?” to get a sense of the bodily responses associated with each feeling. It can be hard to express what you are feeling when you do not have the words to do so. Try looking at “feelings charts,” which can easily be found through an internet search, to understand the range of emotion and to learn words to describe feelings. Try to learn words that make your feelings as specific as possible. For example, instead of saying “good,” which is very general, use words like “joyful,” “fortunate,” “appreciative,” or “elated.” Conversely, instead of saying you feel “bad,” say you feel “irritated,” “uncertain,” “discouraged,” or “rejected.” Ask yourself a series of “why” questions to get at the root of what you are feeling. For example, “I feel like I am going to cry. Why? Because I am mad at my boss. Why? Because he offended me. Why? Because he does not respect me.” Keep going with the series of “why” questions until you reach the bottom line of your feelings. Often, you feel multiple emotions all at once. It is important to disentangle these emotions from each other so you can process each one on its own. For example, if you have a relative with a long-term illness who...


Признайте свои эмоции. Высвобождайте эмоции здоровым способом. Остыньте, если вы очень расстроены. При необходимости сделайте перерыв в отношениях. Не вините себя.

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Don’t ignore your feelings like they don’t exist, but face them head-on. Acknowledge your emotions in a way that feels good to you, such as writing them down or talking to a friend. Focus on how you feel and what’s happening in your body.  Don’t be surprised if you feel betrayed, hurt, angry, upset, sad, confused, or in disbelief. It’s normal to feel many emotions. Your emotions can bring clarity. For example, you might realize how much your marriage means to you or how deeply you feel hurt by your husband’s actions. Especially if you feel angry, you might want to act on your feelings right away. While it might be tempting to get revenge or hurt him back, this won’t help you to feel better or move you closer to forgiveness. Find a way to process your emotions on your own without taking them out on your husband.  If you feel angry and need to express the anger, punch a pillow or go for a walk.  Journaling can be a great way to work through your emotions and understand them better. Use your writing to reflect on the experience and write how you feel. You can express your emotions through art, writing, music, and dance. Avoid turning to alcohol or drugs as a way to deal with your emotions. Try to avoid projecting your anger on your husband, friends, children, and other family members. Don't make snide remarks or passive aggressive statements towards them. If you immediately act on your anger or upset, you might end up doing something you regret. When you notice yourself getting angry or upset, remove yourself from the situation and focus on feeling calm. Go to a different room or take a walk outside. Avoid the temptation to lash out at him or do something that will permanently hurt him, you, or the relationship.  Take some deep breaths to help calm your body and your mind. Use your senses to cope with difficult emotions. Focus on one sense at a time and find ways to connect with it in the current moment. For example, notice all the sounds around you from nature sounds to footsteps in the room next door. It’s...


Признайте свои эмоции. Измените образ мышления. Смиритесь с тем, что реальность может не соответствовать ожиданиям. Научитесь принимать ситуации. Выражайте благодарность. Умейте адаптироваться. Обратитесь к духовности.

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You may want to ignore the painful feelings the situation brings up or pretend your feelings do not exist. Recognize that by pushing your feelings away, you create more negative emotions. It’s better to accept your feelings and work through them. Don’t try to rationalize the way you feel; the only way to work through your emotions is by feeling them.  For example, if you lose your job, it’s okay to admit you feel angry, upset, fearful, and vengeful. Set aside 15 minutes each day to feel your emotions. Don’t let your mind interfere, just sit and feel what you feel.  You can journal your thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying releases negative chemicals from the body, and also helps relieve stress, lift your mood, and help you deal with painful circumstances. Try to view the situation as an opportunity to grow and improve. For example, try reminding yourself of how strong and resilient you are during tough times. When you look at things from this perspective, it’s a lot more empowering.  If you didn’t get into the college you wanted to attend, your world isn’t over and you won’t lose your shot at having a career. Remember that you have options and that positive things will come of the situation. Try to keep your worries in perspective. Try asking yourself, “Is this worry really that bad in the grand scheme of things?” If you are worried about something in the future, ask yourself, “How likely is it that this will really happen?” If you find that you are worrying incessantly, try choosing a “worry time.” At the beginning of each day, select a 15 minute time interval, in advance, when you can worry about your problems. If thoughts of any problems try to intrude outside of the designated “worry time,” then remind yourself that it’s not “worry time” yet. Often life gives you one option when you wanted an entirely different option. The greater distance between what you have and what you want, the greater pain you may experience. Recognize that the reality you wanted did not come true, and you must now...


Признайте свою "достаточность". Научитесь любить собственное тело. Откажитесь от сравнений. Дистанцируйтесь от критичных людей. Оспорьте медийные стандарты красоты. Откажитесь от перфекционизма.

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" Perhaps you are unable to feel proud of your appearance because you think you have to earn your self-worth through a number of standards. You want to drop 20 pounds. You need to catch the eye of a special someone. Or, your mom finally needs to approve of your clothing choices. What you need to realize is that despite how you look, who notices you, or how you dress, you are already enough.  Believing that you are good enough can be much easier said than done. However, if you make the decision to believe this and take action almost daily, you can start to internalize this belief. Whenever you feel less than good enough, repeat this to yourself like a mantra: “I am good enough.” Say it again and again until you start to feel that it’s true. This can be much easier said than done. Still, when you reach a point of self-love for who you are at this very moment, it's priceless. Say you have a scar that you don't like on your chin. Want to love it? Think about the fact that your scar symbolizes that you were stronger than whatever tried to harm you. Here are some other ways to learn to love your body:  Stand in the mirror and look at the body part you don't like. Search for something positive about it. If you don't like the shape of your nose, maybe you can relish in the fact that it is free of blackheads. Do this daily until you start to criticize this body part less and less. Soothe your body regularly. Take long, relaxing baths. Get a manicure or pedicure. Try a new hairstyle or haircut. Visit the spa for a massage. Wear comfortable, flattering clothing. Don't feel the need to hide behind your clothes. Choose fabrics, styles, and colors that play on your best assets. If you dress in clothing that is fashionable and that fits you correctly, you will automatically feel more pulled together. You check out your best friend and notice how tall he’s grown, and think to yourself “I’m too short.” You see your sister’s new outfit and then comment that your own outfit looks “ugly.” You may not be sure why you do this, but...


Признайте свою боль. Ударьте или сломайте что-нибудь. Посмотрите на бывшего партнера без розовых очков. Перестаньте прокручивать все в голове снова и снова. Держитесь подальше от социальных сетей. Подавите желание отомстить.

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Being in denial about what you’re feeling will only draw out the healing process. Betrayal is painful, so give yourself permission to mourn however you need to. Curl up in bed for a day or so. Cry your eyes out until you can’t cry anymore. Play darts on a photograph of your ex. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Releasing the emotion you feel in a physical way can actually make you feel better. It’s unacceptable, however, to act out aggressively or hurt someone. Try throwing, breaking, punching, or burning something instead.  There are places that give you a stack of plates to throw against walls, or allow you to build a fire in a barrel for burning the gifts your ex gave you. Try signing up for a boxing or kickboxing class. Physical activity can serve as a release of negative emotions and help you get physically and emotionally stronger. Victims of cheating often have a tendency to see the cheater as the “good guy” while placing the blame on themselves. Don’t do that. Sure, you may have played some role in the downfall of the relationship, but the cheater is responsible for his actions. If you catch yourself blaming yourself, divert the blame where it belongs. You might silently repeat, “He’s the cheater. This is his fault, not mine.” The end of a relationship can result in you reviewing everything that happened in your head over and over again. While some reflection can be fruitful, nonstop thinking about what went wrong can have negative effects on your mood.  Keep yourself busy after the breakup. Hang out with friends, join a club, rearrange the furniture in your home, or start volunteering. Let your friends and family know that you are trying to limit the number of times you refer to your ex. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter may seem like tempting sanctuaries after you break things off with your cheating boyfriend, but logging on and venting isn’t a good idea. Commit to a short detox from your favorite platforms until you’re feeling more levelheaded. When you do log back on, unfollow your ex...


Признайте свою индивидуальность. Используйте воодушевляющие напоминания. Отстаивайте свои интересы. Научитесь отказывать. Купите новые вещи! Правильное питание и физкультура. Отдыхайте от внимания.

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Acknowledge your feelings and past actions as valid, but decide to take a new path in the future. It is often helpful to think about everything that is unique about you and all of your personal accomplishments. Love yourself and others will love you too! Keeping a journal of personal triumphs can help you to stay in a positive, forward-thinking mindset. It also gives you good material for conversations. Most people would be more than happy to offer sincere congratulations if, for example, you've received a promotion at work. Also, feel free to include statements of gratitude in your journal. There is no one ‘right’ way to chronicle your journey. In your home and/or office, document your life and achievements by posting snapshots of good moments, inspirational quotes, and knick-knacks from your adventures. If you climbed up to Machu Picchu, let people know by keeping a photo at your desk. This is a sure-fire conversation starter. Studies have shown that taking ownership over space through personal items can result in an increase of positive emotion. It is very tempting to sacrifice and compromise in order to promote harmony. This ‘people-pleasing’ mentality is pleasant, but also forgettable if repeated endlessly. Pretend as if you are your own personal PR (public relations) agent. As such, you must encourage the positive and respond to negative attacks upon your person. Be direct, not confrontational. People often fade into social invisibility in order to avoid conflict. This is understandable, however, it can cause problems in the long term. Instead, intense situations, try to remain calm and collected and goal-oriented. Ask your colleagues, "How can we fix this?” or “Why do you think that?” Other people seeking a skilled leader will then look to you for guidance. ” If you struggle with social invisibility it is very tempting to jump on every opportunity for engagement and recognition. Resist this impulse. When presented with an opportunity, ask yourself if it fits your present and future personal and...


Признайте свою ошибку. Извинитесь. Пообещайте исправиться. Сдерживайте свой нрав.

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If you’ve damaged your reputation – wronging a coworker, angering your boss, or just getting an overall bad name – the place to start is to own up to it. Admit the error of your ways. Take stock of your actions and accept responsibility for them, to yourself and in front of others.  What happened? Where did you go wrong? Be brutally honest with yourself. For example, do you have bad personal habits? Did you try to cut corners and dodge work? Have you been an office gossip? Or, did you have a serious lapse of judgement? Perhaps you stole someone’s idea and got caught or plagiarized a report. Perhaps you just stole, embezzling money. Even if you don’t have a future at your workplace, you should apologize to the people you’ve hurt. Showing remorse is decent and will help you start to redeem yourself. You will not get very far with building bridges and repairing your reputation if you can’t say sorry.  Act as soon as you can. The longer you wait to apologize, the more it seems like you aren’t really that sorry.  Don’t make excuses. The point is to show remorse and accept that you were wrong. Don’t insert half-excuses or mealy-mouth language into your apology, for example “I’m sorry if you were offended that I took your idea. I only wanted to improve it.” Be humble and own up. For instance, “It was really wrong of me to talk behind your back. I know I’ve hurt you and want to ask for your forgiveness.” Be sincere. You won’t get credit if you don’t say specifically what you did. You also won’t credit if you don’t say it apologetically and sincerely, showing that you won't repeat the behavior. Besides an apology, write out a plan for how you’ll change and ensure your mistake doesn’t happen again. This can be for you alone or, if you’re lucky to keep your job, to share with the powers that be in the organization.  Outline what you did wrong and how you will avoid it. For example, “I made the mistake of getting too involved in workplace gossip and ended up saying harmful things about my coworkers. From now on, I plan...


Признайте свою проблему. Бросьте эту привычку для себя. Подсчитайте свои затраты на ваше увлечение. Найдите источник вашей зависимости. Будьте честны с собой.

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Dipping may not seem as dangerous as cigarettes are to some people because no smoke is involved. However, dipping can cause cancers of the mouth, throat, and esophagus, as well as shrinking of the gums around your teeth, cracked lips, white spots, sores, bleeding in the mouth, tooth loss, bad breath, and increased risk for heart disease and stroke. Make the decision to quit about you, not about someone else in your life. If you quit for someone else when you don't want to, you may resent them during the withdrawal process.  That being said, family members and friends can be a great support and inspiration for quitting dipping. Accept support from your loved ones. Dipping can greatly impact not only your life but the lives of your family and friends. Realize that you are spending money to harm yourself. If you are chewing as often as one can per day, your addiction can get expensive very quickly. Try to view your addiction as an intense waste of money if that helps you recognize that you have a problem.  Your health insurance costs will also go up as a result of your chewing habit. If you do contract a disease or cancer as a result of dipping, the cost of treatment will be enormous. You may not be able to remember when you chose to start dipping. In fact, it may not have been a conscious decision at all. Chances are, you did not plan to become a dipper, but somehow it happened and now you need to fix it.  Maybe your friends and/or family introduced you to dipping one day and you gradually accepted, eventually becoming comfortable with the substance and ultimately becoming addicted. Maybe a certain behavior triggers a tobacco craving, such as playing in a baseball league with other dippers. Identify and avoid trigger behaviors and settings. Evaluate the facts of your situation, not how you feel about them. Your feelings are important, but they sometimes lead you to a false sense of reality.  When your mind tries to tell you that you cannot withhold a dip any longer, recognize that the truth is you will not die...


Признайте свою ревность. Помните о том, что нельзя позволять себе вестись на чувство ревности. Вспомните о своих лучших качествах.

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Naming your jealousy is the first step to overcoming it. Let yourself feel your jealous emotions for a little bit. Jealousy in small doses can be a positive thing for a relationship because it reminds you that you want to be in a monogamous relationship. However, do not let your jealousy consume you. Name it as jealousy and try to mentally separate it from the rest of your life. Jealous feelings are only feelings, after all. Understand that what you think and what occurs in reality may not be identical. Accept your jealous feelings as jealous feelings, but do not mistake them for what is actually happening. These jealous feelings are separate from your feelings for and your relationship with your boyfriend. Write down three things you like about yourself everyday. For every time you give yourself a put down, give yourself a compliment, too. Improving your own self-esteem and focusing on your own positive qualities will remind you that you are an awesome person to date.


Признайте силу оптимизма и придерживайтесь такого настроя. Выявляйте негативные мысли. Боритесь с бесполезными мыслями. Позитивные суждения. Научитесь быть благодарным. Измените свое мировоззрение.

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They say your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your latitude. In other words, how high or far you go in life is strongly connected to how you choose to look at life, situations, and people. Adopting a positive attitude can actually improve your physical and mental health as well as your longevity. Optimism can be yours if you only change what you are telling yourself. In an effort to  think more positive thoughts, you must become aware of your negative self-talk.  Grab a sheet of paper and fold it in half sideways. On the left side, write down every self-limiting and negative belief that comes to your mind. These might include “My life is horrible” or “I will never find someone to love”. Over the course of several days, “listen” to your thoughts. Notice those that make you feel badly or particularly negative and add them to the list. Negative beliefs may have the power to drain you of hope. But, when you put a magnifying glass up to these beliefs, you may realize they aren’t very rational. For each self-defeating belief on your paper, ask yourself aloud these questions to dispute them:  Can I rationally support this belief? Since you cannot predict the future, you cannot rationally say you will never find someone to love. What evidence exists that this belief is false? Have you ever loved someone in the past? Does any evidence exist that this belief is true? Again, you cannot predict the future. What are the worst things that could actually happen if this “bad” situation occurred? If this happened, you would be alone. What good things could happen if this “bad” situation occurred? You could potentially learn to love yourself more and live out your passions. Affirmations are positive and helpful statements describing a desired goal that are repeated to leave an impression on the subconscious mind. Grab your folded paper, and, on the right side, write down an affirmation that transforms those negative, self-limiting beliefs into positive, transformative beliefs. Repeat these statements regularly.  “My...


Признайте собственные мысли. Пишите дневник. Оцените свой образ мышления. Останавливайте свои негативные мысли. Замещайте негативные мысли позитивными. Воспользуйтесь рабочими материалами по оценке мыслей из когнитивно-поведенческой терапии.

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To understand the thought patterns that lead you to self-harm, you first need to acknowledge your thoughts. Your thought process is a habit that you have. To break the habit of thinking negative thoughts, you need to become aware of these thoughts. One tool to help understand your triggers and thought patterns is journaling. Writing down your feelings will help identify patterns that lead to self-harm. Also, journaling provides an outlet to share your feelings and process your thoughts.  Write down when you feel the urge to self-harm, or when you actually do harm yourself. Try to write down the situation, thought, feeling or emotion that you experienced. You may have also experienced physical sensations such as energy, tightening of the stomach, or other actions. Write down what happened just before the self-harming. Journaling might reveal that you are experiencing certain situations that create the urge to self-harm. Some of these situations might be: problems with peers (including bullying or cyber-bullying), pressure at school, feeling socially isolated, abuse, confusion around sexuality, or issues in your family.  The goal is to become aware of your thoughts and not passively acting on negative thoughts that lead to self-harming behaviors. The next step in combating negative thinking is to assess your thought process. Are your thoughts true?  Look at your thought record and assess what similar situation you were in, did you learn anything and what were the long-term consequences? Did you handle any situations differently?   A good way to assess negative thoughts is to look for words like “should,” “ought,” or “must.” These types of statements are usually negative and critical of yourself. Ask a friend or trusted family member if you are unsure if thoughts are true. Another technique is to interrupt your negative thoughts. Imagine a stop light or noise that stops the thought. Your goals here are to interrupt the negative thought and to remind yourself of your thought patterns. Then, you will experience a...


Признайте сомнения. Поставьте свои сомнения под вопрос. Различайте и подвергайте сомнению распространенные когнитивные искажения. Различайте разумные и необоснованные сомнения. Не ищите утешения.

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You will never be able to overcome something if you don't first recognize that it exists and is affecting your decisions. Doubt arises for good reasons. It is not your enemy or a sign of inferiority. What do you doubt? Where do those concerns come from? Asking questions is an important aspect to understanding your actions, so you should never be afraid to ask them, even of yourself. Focusing on what holds you back can help you see which doubts are important. You may find that, after poking through them a bit, your concerns aren't that serious. No one always sees the world clearly all the time. Sometimes we let our emotions cloud judgment, and convince us that certain things are true when they aren't. Ask yourself if you are doing one of the following.  Filtering, or cutting out positive details to focus only on the negative. You may find that you are focused on one unpleasant detail, which darkens the view you have of the task in front of you. Don't ignore that detail, but instead look at all the others as well. Many situations have positive aspects you can look at as well. Overgeneralization, where we use a single piece of evidence to draw larger conclusions. If we see something bad happen once, we suddenly expect it to repeat. Sometimes these over-generalizations lead to jumping to conclusions, immediately thinking we have a larger problem figured out based on a small piece of data, rather than trying to find out more. Never be afraid to look for more information, more data, especially pieces that may challenge your generalizations. Catastrophizing, focusing on the worst possible outcome. You may find yourself asking, "What if something terrible happens to me?" This worst-case scenario thinking can lead people to overemphasize small mistakes, or minimize certain positive events that may also be important. Give yourself confidence by thinking about the best-case scenarios, and what you want to accomplish. Neither of these events may come true, but thinking about the best case can alleviate doubts that come...


Признайте то, что у вашего партнера может быть свой тип предпочтений в женщинах. Не жалуйтесь на его бывшую. Узнавайте об обстоятельствах не спеша. Не принимайте все на свой счет.

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Many people get nervous when they realize they're similar to their boyfriend's ex-husband or wife. Everyone has a type of person they're attracted to, and you may very well have things in common with a previous spouse.  There's a good chance you will resemble the ex-spouse physically. Your boyfriend may have specific taste. He may be drawn to a certain hair color, eye color, or body type, for example. There may also be similarities in your personality. Your boyfriend may have a tendency to date people with similar interests or personalities. Try not to buy too much into similarities between yourself and an ex-spouse. Chances are, you have a type as well. Even if you're not aware of it, there are probably similarities between your current boyfriend and your ex-partners. It can be tempting to talk badly about the ex-spouse. This is especially true if your boyfriend's ex has been hostile to you at any point during the relationship. However, it's a bad idea to complain to your boyfriend about his ex. You do not want to come off as jealous or bitter. Also, your boyfriend may harbor negative feelings about his ex that are difficult to process. You do not want to negatively affect his mood by fanning the flames.  There may be times when you need to vent about the ex. This is understandable, especially if the ex has not been nice to you. However, if you need to do so, call a friend or family member. Never let your boyfriend overhear you complaining about his ex. Wait until he's out of the house to call a friend and vent. If you're beginning to get serious, you may want to know about the divorce. How and why a divorce happened says a lot about your boyfriend. It can help you better understand how he approaches a relationship in the present.  Avoid asking too much at first. This is especially true if it's uncertain how serious the relationship will be. You may not need to know a lot about the divorce, and the circumstances surrounding it, However, if you're getting serious, it's appropriate to ask. This is especially...


Признайте тот факт, что вы слишком много думаете. Медитируйте. Занимайтесь физкультурой. Озвучьте ваши мысли. Попросите совета.

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Just like eating, thinking is something we need to do to survive, so it is sometimes hard to judge when you are doing too much of it. However, there are several red flags that you are doing too much thinking for your own good. Here are a few of them:  Are you consumed by the same thought over and over again? Are you not making progress by thinking about this particular thing? If so, this may be a sign that you should move on. Have you analyzed the same situation from a million angles? If you've found too many ways to look at something before you decide how to act, you may be being counterproductive. Have you enlisted the help of your twenty closest friends in thinking about a particular thing? If so, then it's time to realize that you can only ask for so many opinions about the same idea before you drive yourself insane. Are people constantly telling you to stop over-thinking things? Do people tease you for brooding, being a philosopher, or staring out of rainy windows all the time? If so, they may have a point. . If you feel like you don't know how to stop thinking, you need to learn what it's like to "let go" of your thoughts, so that it's something you can do deliberately. Imagine that thinking is like breathing; you do it all the time, without even realizing it. But if you need to, you can hold your breath. Meditating will help you learn how to release your thoughts.  Just spending 15-20 minutes meditating every morning can make a dramatic impact on your ability to stay in the present and let go of all of your nagging thoughts. You can also meditate at night to help yourself wind down. Running or even walking vigorously can help you take your mind off of all of those annoying thoughts and to focus on your body. Participating in something particularly active, like power yoga, martial arts or beach volleyball, will have you so focused on your body that you won't have time for your thoughts. Here are some great things to try:  Join a circuit gym. Having to switch to a new machine every minute when you hear...


Признайте тот факт, что конфликты неизбежны. Знайте, по каким причинам происходят конфликты в семьях. Отпустите обиды. Научитесь решать конфликты. Имейте мужество сказать "нет".

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Some level of disagreement and friction is normal. Avoid stressing over the small stuff:  Pick your battles. Avoid arguing over things like who sits where at the dinner table. See the bigger picture. Adjust your perspective. Your sibling may be irritable for reasons other than you, so avoid taking it personally. Family conflict is a universally common occurrence. There are several reasons why family social structures create the conditions for a variety of minor, and not so minor, forms of hostility. Learn these reasons to better understand your place in the structure and give in less to predictable, repeating patterns of interaction:  People notice and remember small differences in personality more than they do similarities. These small, recollected differences can create tension when you've lived with the person for many years. Cumulative annoyances are the basis for a lot of interpersonal conflict. Small grievances can explode into full-blown hostility over years of close proximity. Family systems are the perfect environment for these "social allergens" to grow. Siblings and parents/children are both prone to the same kind of conflict over things like competition for limited resources and personal eccentricities. Forgiveness is a powerful activity, contributing positively to overall happiness, health (including stress), and the harmony of relationships. Use these steps to forgive and let go of old conflict patterns:  See the positives. Has arguing with your sibling made you a more assertive person? It may seem counterintuitive, but seeing the good in the bad helps you move toward forgiveness. Generate empathy. Try to imagine what would cause the person to behave rudely to you. Maybe they feel jealousy about a perceived instance of favoritism by other family members. Understand that people lash out for a reason. Think of forgiveness as self-care. As mentioned, forgiveness grants a lot of positive benefits to the forgiver, emotionally and in terms of overall health. Forgive is positive for everyone involved....


Признайте тот факт, что некоторых вещей вы просто не можете знать. Сохраняйте активность даже в то время, когда все резко меняется. Попробуйте немного изменить свое окружение. Отвлекайтесь на юмор.

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Part of being non-attached means recognizing that you don’t have all the answers.  Perhaps you have just gone through a bad breakup.  When someone asks if you’re over it, you might pretend to be or even have plans to see someone new.  But, both habits are unhealthy. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know what you’ll do about a situation moving forward. Perhaps you are dealing with the move of a friend who you were very close with.  Though this loss will sadden you, keep busy.  Try not to let changes in the lives of others put a stop to your own. Plan a full list of things to do throughout the day so you don’t feel so lonely. Though you can’t control others, you can control yourself. If you have recently detached yourself from something or someone, make other changes in your life.  Cut your hair or reorganize furniture.  Declutter your space or get a puppy. Do something to shift your focus to something new. This will help you get used to change as a part of life and even embrace it, which will make it easier for you to stop clinging to things and people. When you feel the need to cling to someone, find something funny to distract yourself.  Scroll down your Twitter feed to see some funny memes or call up a friend who lifts your mood. You can even take this time to poke a little fun at yourself.


Признайте чувства ребенка. Не говорить другим. Храните воспоминания. Поддерживайте друг друга. Создайте новые традиции.

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Your child may be disappointed upon hearing the truth, or perhaps even upset because they may feel betrayed or tricked.  If this happens, acknowledge their feelings and make sure to explain why you let them believe in the magic of Santa Claus.  Also let them know that your intention was not to mislead them, but that Explain to your child that everyone asks this question when they're ready, and that they should respect that their classmates may not have asked their families yet.  To be respectful, they should not share their new knowledge and they should definitely not make fun of anyone who believes in Santa Claus.  Remind your child about the spirit of Christmas and how magical it was for them to believe, and that they wouldn't want to take that from anyone.  You can simply say, “Let other kids believe until they're ready to learn the truth, just like you did.” You can also say, “Not telling others about Santa is a new and important job that you have, and I'm counting on you.” Remind your child that Santa embodies the spirit of Christmas, and that is why you have chosen to embrace the story.  This is also an excellent time to remind your child of the religious reasons for Christmas, if you celebrate them.  You can also talk with your child about what you and they appreciate most about the Santa Claus story and figure out how to incorporate those elements into future Christmas celebrations. The Santa question is not only tricky, it represents a family transition from one of belief in a fictional, well-loved character, to a more mature appreciation of what Santa Claus represents and how that relates to Christmas.  The transition might be a little uncomfortable, or even sad, for everyone, and that's to be expected.  Remind one another that Santa Claus is a myth that your family enjoyed and that you had a wonderful time sharing the magic, and most importantly, that you look forward to future Christmases together. Now that your child has a new understanding of Santa Claus, your Christmas celebrations will change...


Признайте, что ваши переживания естественны. Изучите, что такое пограничное расстройство личности. Побуждайте своего близкого пройти терапию. Никогда не обесценивайте чувства своего близкого. Будьте последовательны. Установите личные границы и настаивайте на них. Вознаграждайте подобающее поведение позитивной реакцией и похвалой. Ищите поддержки для себя. Позаботьтесь о себе. Серьезно относитесь к угрозам причинить себе вред.

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Friends and family members of those who suffer from BPD often feel overwhelmed, divided, exhausted, or traumatized due to their loved one's behavior. Depression, feelings of grief or isolation, and feelings of guilt are also common among people who have a loved one with BPD. It can be helpful to know that these feelings are common, and aren't because you are a bad or uncaring person. Although BPD is as real and debilitating as a physical illness. The disorder is not your loved one's “fault." Your love one may feel intense shame and guilt about his or her behavior, but feel unable to change. Knowing more about BPD will enable you to give your loved one the best support possible. Conduct research to learn more about what BPD is and how you can help.  The National Institute of Mental Health has a wealth of information on BPD.  There are also many online programs, blogs, and other resources that can help you understand what it is like to suffer from BPD. For example, the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder has a list of family guidelines. The Borderline Personality Disorder Resource Center offers videos, book recommendations, and other advice for loved ones. Understand, however, that therapy may take some time to work, and some people with BPD do not respond well to therapy.  Try not to approach your loved one from an attitude of judgment. For example, it is unhelpful to say something like “You're worrying me” or “You're making me weird.” Instead, use “I”-statements of care and concern: “I am concerned about some things I've seen in your behavior” or “I love you and want to help you get help.” A person with BPD is more likely to find help from therapy if s/he trusts and gets along with the therapist. However, the unstable way that people with BPD relate to others can make finding and maintaining a healthy therapeutic relationship difficult.  Consider seeking family therapy. Some treatments for BPD can include family treatments with the person and his/her loved ones. Even if you don't...


Признайте, что взгляды других людей на мир могут отличаться. Поговорите с кем-то о его взглядах и источниках этих взглядов. Проявляйте уважение и не спорьте.

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Every person has their own perspectives and opinions that are formed based on their experiences. Acknowledging that other people have perspectives that differ from yours will help you to more holistically consider your own views and begin changing them.  You cannot begin to change your own perspectives without considering and acknowledging that your truth is not the only or right view. For example, if you believe that women can’t be heads of state or CEOs, understand that there are many people in this world who don’t share your view. Otherwise, countries like Norway or Great Britain or companies such as Yahoo wouldn’t have had women at their helms. A good exercise to help you understand different perspectives is to choose a cultural trait that you do not possess. Try to imagine how that cultural belief might impact your perspective on a number of issues. If you know someone who has different perspectives than you, ask him if you can have a friendly conversation and exchange views. This kind of conversation can help you to understand other viewpoints and may provide you context or information that may change your own perspective.  Ask your conversation mate lots of questions about his perspectives and what informs them. Ask if he’s ever had a change in his views or even how he develops his perspectives over time. Always be respectful of other perspectives and don’t debate or fight with a person about his views. Being respectful and not debating will give you the chance to consider his views and see how they fit with yours. You may find that even if don’t see eye to eye, that he has good ideas that can help you change your perspectives. Remember that you can learn from any conversation, even if it’s to support your own views. Arguing is counterproductive and may keep you from developing.


Признайте, что влюблены в человека. Позвольте себе погрустить. Примите решение двигаться дальше.

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Understanding the problem is the first step in moving forward. Don’t feel bad about having a crush; crushes are something that everyone experiences at some point of view and the human brain is actually biologically programmed to fall in love. Getting over a relationship is hard, even if that relationship never fully materialized. Give yourself some time to mope around and feel badly, then pick yourself up and move forward. Make sure you're not upset for too long. While feeling sad, also take steps to comfort yourself. Try taking a hot shower, listening to one of your favorite playlists and speaking nicely to yourself. Knowing that this relationship will never progress is an important step in moving past it. Remind yourself again and again that what you’re doing is necessary for your own personal happiness and growth.  Remember that you will have other crushes. In many people's minds, having a crush on your teacher veers towards the inappropriate sector, no matter how you feel. It is against the law to be with someone over 18 if you are under 18. There will be others who you will prefer in the future, and others who you have a real chance with. Focus ahead, without dwelling too much on this dynamic with your teacher.


Признайте, что все кончено. Не забывайте причины разрыва. Оцените, насколько вы готовы к новым отношениям. Не общайтесь с бывшим партнером. Научитесь видеть бывшего парня в новом свете. Помните, что время лечит.

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One of the best ways for you to move on from your ex is to admit the relationship is over. Although you may be holding onto the hope that you and he will get back together, you need to let that hope fade. The relationship is over and he is your ex, not your boyfriend. Understanding this will help you move on and focus more on your current boyfriend.   Avoid still thinking of your ex as your boyfriend. He's not. Try to avoid thinking of him at all. Write in your journal or talk with a friend about the relationship ending. Be sure to refer to the relationship in the past tense to emphasis that it is over and include the reasons you broke up. Every time you think about him, also think about why you are glad you aren't together anymore.  Make a list of reasons you're glad if you need to. Sometimes, when we love someone, we overlook or 'forget' the reasons why they are not a good match for us. We remember the good things about the person, but skip over the bad. Thinking honestly about why you broke up can give perspective on the situation and help you accept that your new boyfriend might be better for you right now.   Did your ex do something wrong like lie to you or cheat on you? Were you two not compatible or did you grow apart? Did he leave you for someone else or simply break up with you for no reason? Did you do something that caused the relationship to end? Write a letter to yourself listing all of the reasons why your ex wasn't right for you. Refer to it as often as necessary. If you are not invested in your current relationship, and you are not over your ex, you may want to evaluate if you are ready to date right now. It might be best to have some alone time to process your feelings before trying to force yourself to feel a certain way for your current boyfriend.  Ask yourself: Am I dating him because I really like him or for some other reason? Am I trying to get revenge against my ex or make him jealous? Do I just like the idea of being with someone and I don't want to be single? Consider that, if you...


Признайте, что вы имеете право чувствовать безопасность и уверенность в дружбе. Решите, хотите ли вы продолжать дружить с язвительными людьми. Поговорите об этом с кем-нибудь, кому доверяете. Прекратите дружбу, которая не оказывает позитивного влияния на вашу жизнь.

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You also have the right to maintain clear boundaries about what types of negative behaviors are not acceptable to you.  Part of setting a boundary is following through with consequences if they are violated. Be clear about what breaking your trust looks like and what will happen afterwards. You are not being mean if you stand your ground and end a friendship because of this broken trust. There are no hard and fast rules as far as how long any friendship lasts. Sometimes, friendships just end for one reason or another. If you seem to have outgrown your friends because they are often engaging in bullying or immature behavior, you may choose to distance yourself.  The biggest part of self-care is taking ownership of your happiness.  There is no friend that is more important than your own happiness and security. Learn to tap into your own measure of stress and see what patterns cause you the most stress. If there is a friend at the center of much of the stress, move on. This may be another friend, a coworker or even your parents. Explain to this person what’s been going on and ask for his or her sincere advice. You might say “Hey, Mom. Were you ever friends with someone who sort of picked on you?...What did you do?” Recognize friendships that have changed into challenging and draining battles.  Use strong personal boundaries to step away from those negative relationships and spend time with people who are supportive and value what you bring to the table.


Признайте, что вы испытываете тревожность. Постарайтесь возразить нереалистичным мыслям и заменить их другими. Применяйте приемы наведения образов и визуализации для расслабления. Запишите свои чувства, чтобы с ними было проще справляться. Уделяйте внимание своему телу, чтобы всегда чувствовать себя хорошо. Действуйте, чтобы не зацикливаться на своих мыслях. Попробуйте расслабиться с помощью музыкальной терапии. Обратитесь за помощью к другу.

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Although you want to reduce the anxiety you feel, don’t try to ignore it. Ignoring or repressing emotions can make them more powerful and more fear-inducing. Acknowledge that you are afraid, and that there is nothing “wrong” or “bad” about you for feeling that way. You might find it helpful to write down how you are feeling or discuss your feelings of anxiety with a friend. This is a process by which you stop your anxiety-producing thoughts and replace them with thoughts of something that brings you happiness or peace. This can help you avoid rumination, that broken-record thought cycle where you can’t seem to stop obsessing about something. You can also ask yourself some questions. Is the thing you are afraid of a true and present danger? Realize that you are experiencing fear, but that you are not in danger. Taking the danger out of the situation will help you to relax a bit.  For example, perhaps you’re having anxiety about an upcoming plane flight and you can’t stop thinking about what might happen should you crash. Focus yourself by saying “Stop” to yourself, either out loud or in your head. Next, replace this thought with something calming and positive, like a thought about your vacation with your best friends and how much joy they bring you. You can also try replacing the thought with something more realistic, such as, “It’s extremely unlikely that the plane will crash. Flying is one of the safest forms of travel.” It can take a lot of repetition for this technique to work, so be patient and kind with yourself. Using guided imagery can help you relax and reduce your experience of anxiety. Think of a place in which you feel at peace and relaxed; this could be your home, a favorite vacation spot, or being held by a loved one. As you think of this place, continue adding sensory details to the scene, so that you are focusing your entire mind on imagining it. Think about what you can see, smell, touch, hear, and taste in your safe place.  Feel free to do this with your eyes closed or open, although closing...


Признайте, что вы любили этого человека, но это осталось в прошлом. Оставайтесь активной и организованной личностью. Откройте себя для новых отношений. Живите настоящим. Ждите будущего с большим нетерпением. Попрощайтесь с воспоминаниями о своем бывшем партнере.

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Love can be perfectly real without being forever. You can love someone else deeply for a time but have that love come to an end. Just because it ended doesn't mean it was a waste of time. Your love touched you at your core and shaped who you are as a person. In the words of the old cliché, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. A large part of this acceptance is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not being able to hold it together. Forgive your partner for wanting to leave (if you are going to remain friends with them later on this one is absolutely vital). Forgive your partner or yourself for the problems that led to the split. You are both only human. Once you've taken some time to recover from your heartbreak, hit the ground running. Use your new independence as an opportunity to focus on improving your life. Now is your chance to earn successes that will make you feel good about yourself and leave you in a better position than you were before. Just a few examples are below:  Devote yourself to your work. Accept ambitious new assignments. Take more responsibility. Ask for a raise or a promotion. Take up a new hobby. Learn how to play an instrument. Study a new language. Start writing stories or keep a journal. Explore the world. Travel. Meet new people. Trek out into the wilderness (with proper safety precautions). After a difficult breakup, it's usually best to swear off romance for a few months to avoid the emotional problems that can often come with "rebound" flings. However, once you've taken some time off, it's okay to look at, talk to, and like someone new. Doing this may feel a little painful or awkward at first. This is normal. You're essentially going through a kind of withdrawal from the person that you constantly talked to and saw before. This will fade with time. When someone new comes along, let this person in. Don't be so afraid of future heartbreak that you can't enjoy your life now. Even if it's a small crush, it's okay to feel something for someone new. No...


Признайте, что вы потеряли доверие жены из-за своего действия или бездействия. Оцените силу своего желания снова заслужить доверие. Приготовьтесь принять свой проступок. Разберитесь с последствиями проступка. Поговорите с женой.

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You made a choice to do it (or not do it). It comes right back to your impulsive actions or willful inaction, your failure to respect her and your relationship and your willingness to hurt in to pursue something else that you felt mattered only to you. Whether you've had an affair, embezzled the household savings, committed harm against her, sullied her reputation, or whatever, the same issue lies at the heart of your actions––you made a bad choice and you lacked respect. You must truly want to restore what you had or at least start over. If you feel compelled to do so out of reasons beyond your own wishes (such as being pressured by family or social obligations), then it is possible you haven't learned your lesson and whatever you did will only rear its head again later. Instead, you must want to restore what you both had because it matters to you. You cannot gain back another person's trust when you feel compelled to lay any, some or all of the "blame" on that other person. Telling your wife that she seemed "too busy, too preoccupied, too bored, too shopping addicted, whatever", you are just making excuses for your behavior. This isn't about how she was failing to meet your expectations; you've destroyed her expectations of you, so this is all about rebuilding a broken foundation. Do not make it seem as if she was the cause, in any way. If you do that, she won't see your attempts to regain trust as genuine. End the affair, get a job to repay the lost funds, get counseling for your violent tendencies, get counseling for your sexual addition or pornography usage, etc. Whatever the problem, seek out and actually put in place the solution needed to stop the reason for the breach of trust. Without this positive sign of your willingness to make changes, she won't have any reason to trust that you have changed and are setting forth a new course. Cease all involvement with anyone that has been an issue. Even if you've been the flirty type when interacting with others, keep the flirting to a minimum. Explain what...


Признайте, что вы способны выбирать свои взгляды на жизнь. Займитесь самообразованием. Запишитесь на занятия или регулярно участвуйте в образовательных мероприятиях. Читайте большое количество литературы и источников информации. Как можно больше путешествуйте. Интересуйтесь политикой. Работайте в качестве волонтера или просто помогайте другим. Впитывайте новую информацию и представления о мире других людей. Выражайте свои новые взгляды и стройте жизнь, основываясь на них.

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As you begin changing your perspectives, acknowledge that you alone choose them and how they develop. Doing this will help you more actively take the steps to change your perspective.  Knowing that you have the power to form your own perspectives can be very freeing and may provide you a great deal of comfort to go forward in life.  For example, if you have a tendency to be negative, you can actively take steps such as only seeing the positive and letting go of negativity and negative influences to help change your perspective into a positive one. Part of reformulating any perspective is educating yourself through the consideration of a wide variety of sources and opinions. Without knowledge, you can’t grow or develop, and educating yourself broadly will help you to most effectively reformulate your perspectives. You can use a variety of sources to educate yourself. Taking classes, reading, traveling, or even just talking to another person can provide you with new information that will help you change your perspectives. Continue your education and training throughout life by taking classes, attending lectures, or getting additional professional training. Developing your intellectual skills will help expose you to different perspectives and may help you change yours.  You can attend classes, lectures, seminars, or other continuing education programs in person, or you can take them online. Many universities now post classes or lectures online for the general public. Look online for free or cheap lectures and tutorials from websites like Udemy or Khan Academy. Training and the type of development that comes from practical experience can also be very valuable to changing your perspective. Reading a variety of publications will expose you to different opinions and perspectives. This can help you reformulate your own perspectives.  Make sure you consult different kinds of media such as newspapers, magazines, websites, and books. Make sure that the sources you read come from a variety of perspectives. For example,...


Признайте, что вы тот человек, которому сложно быть пунктуальным. Заметьте, как окружающие относятся к вашим опозданиям. Найдите другие способы для того, чтобы дать выход адреналину. Сделайте так, чтобы пунктуальность стала одним из ваших достоинств. Подумайте о преимуществах пунктуальности.

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If you have a chronic problem with punctuality, you might be prone to making a lot of excuses. Some of them might be valid, like if you're late to a meeting because you had a flat tire, or a winter storm stalled traffic for an hour. But if it seems like you're constantly trying to explain away your tardiness, it's time to own up to your problem. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all.  If you're not sure whether your issue is chronic, ask your friends and family to tell you honestly whether they consider you a punctual person. If punctuality is truly an issue for you, you won't have been able to hide it from them. Check to see if your tardiness is the result of passive aggression. Being late can be a form of resentment at having to be a certain place to do a certain thing. If you think this is the case, try to change your events around, or otherwise practice accepting that which you can't change.  Don't be too hard on yourself if you have trouble being punctual, though. According to a study conducted in San Francisco, 20 percent of the US population has the same issue. You probably really want to be on time, and when you're late, you feel genuinely sorry for inconveniencing others. But if you're late again and again, people will feel that your behavior is inconsiderate. Being late puts other people in the position of having to wait for you. It's seen as a statement that you value your time more than you value theirs, even if you really don't feel that way.  Think of how you feel when someone else is the one who's late for a meeting. Do you appreciate having to sit alone in a restaurant while you wait for your friend to show up half an hour late? Be kind to people that are late while also telling them how you feel. Eventually, being late all the time will erode people's faith in your reliability, creating a negative impression that could eventually extend to matters other than punctuality. Do you feel a little buzzed when you're rushing to beat the clock? It's...


Признайте, что гормоны сильно влияют на настроение. Помните, что мозг подростка продолжает развиваться. Помните, что ребенку не нравится угрюмость. Вспомните свои подростковые годы.

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Your child’s moody behavior has physiological foundations.  Puberty hormones flush often-overwhelming levels of chemical input through your child’s developing brain. Note that hormones present in adults can operate differently in teenager.  Adult brains experience the hormone THP, for example, as a calming influence; in your teenager, THP produces heightened anxiety. Humans’ frontal lobe -- the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, judgment, and decision-making -- doesn’t fully mature until we are in our early 20s.  Your child’s brain is quite literally still under construction, even as the rest of his or her body may begin to appear “adult.” Your child is struggling to cope with the confluence of hormonal change, body changes, developing identity, pressure from friends, and a developing sense of independence.  No wonder he or she is acting out!  They may be frustrated, confused, or even scared by the changes taking place in their lives.  Your child needs you to provide stability and support -- even if he or she is telling you something quite different. Perhaps the best way to understand your teenager is to remember what it was like to be one yourself.  Think about your own triumphs and struggles, and consider how your parents experienced them.


Признайте, что искушение неизбежно. Не сдавайтесь из-за собственных недостатков. Изучайте слово Божие. Не забывайте полагаться на Бога, даже когда подвергаетесь искушению. Последуйте примеру, который подал Христос и пророки.

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Know that, no matter how hard you strive, it's impossible to live a life without temptations. We will always, at certain points, feel a temptation to sin - whether it's as innocuous as the urge to lie about our reason for being late to a meeting or as serious as the urge to strike someone who's insulted you. It's also inevitable that we will give in to this urge at some point.  However,  it's possible, through our efforts, to reduce the hold that temptation has over us. The fight against temptation is like waging a lifelong war - be prepared to celebrate your victories and to learn from your defeats. Never fall prey to self-hate. You are not loathsome or pathetic because you feel temptation. God  always  forgives. Don't get caught up in punishing yourself, even if you find yourself falling prey to temptation again and again. Use your time more intelligently by sincerely asking for God's forgiveness and working to move past your sins. "Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" (Qur'an 39:53) Scripture is full of stories, teachings, and proverbs we can draw upon when we're trying to avoid our sinful temptations. The nature of sin and temptation is a frequent topic of discussion throughout the bible - simply turn to a passage like Romans 7:18 for an illuminating perspective on the difficulty of struggling against temptation: "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." Many of the most revered figures in the Bible had intense struggles with temptation (often marked with failure).  Adam and Eve committed the first sin by giving in to the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit. King David, one of the most important figures in biblical history, had one of his soldiers killed so that he could give in to temptation and steal his wife! Reading the...