Подумайте, почему бы не половить окуня на живых угрей. Следите за тем, чтобы угри правильно хранились. Определите местонахождение рыбы. Наживите угря. Забрасывайте угря. Подсекайте полосатого окуня.

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Fishing live eels is an exciting and effective ways of landing big striped bass up to and above the 40 lb (18 kg) mark. On Cape Cod Bay in particular, live eels account for many big striped bass each spring, summer and fall.  Live eels can be used to fish for bass in deep water. They can help you to catch larger fish, as the biggest striper fish tend to lurk near the bottom. Live eels can be fished many different ways. One of the most popular and easiest methods is to fish live eels with a medium-light or medium-action rod. Place the eels in a cooler with a plastic ice block and a damp burlap sack.   This keeps the eels moist and cool. The ice also has the advantage of slowing down the eel's metabolism, which makes them easier to handle. Don't submerge the eels in water, as they will deplete the oxygen levels and eventually drown. When fishing from a boat, use your sonar to first locate an area where striped bass have congregated.  When cruising at a higher speeds, striped bass will appear as small orange blotches on most sonar screens. It's easy to miss these marks so be sure to keep a keen eye on the sonar. Depending on the wind and tide, setup a drift that will bring the boat through the area in which striped bass have gathered. Eels are slithering, squirming creatures, so they can be difficult to handle and hook.  Use a burlap sack or even a cotton sock to hold the eel, as this will give you a better grip. Hold the eel around its neck in order to hook it. Use circle hooks to avoid gut hooking bass. Hook the eel in one of two ways—either pass the hook through the top of the eel's mouth and out one of its eyes, or place the hook as deeply into the eel's mouth as possible and pass it through the bottom of its throat. The former method hooks the eel more securely but runs the risk of accidentally killing it, which the latter method is less secure but keeps the eel alive for longer and makes the hook appear less obvious. When casting your eel out, go easily at first until you find the sweet spot -- you don't...


Подумайте, почему вы боитесь любить или быть любимым. Подумайте о своих прошлых отношениях. Проанализируйте свое детство. Рассмотрите наиболее распространенные страхи относительно того, чтобы любить и быть любимым. Решите, считаете ли вы себя достойным любви. Выясните, не испытываете ли вы экзистенциальный кризис по отношению к любви.

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The first step in dealing with your issues with loving and/or being loved is to identify the fear that is holding you back. There are many different types of fear that can cause a person to fear loving someone or being loved.  Consider your feelings and try to figure out what your main concern is. What are you afraid might happen if you allow yourself to love or be loved? Try writing about your feelings to explore them in more depth. Writing about your fears concerning love may help you to identify the root of your fears and the act of writing may help you to work through some of your feelings as well. One way that you can start to understand your fear regarding loving or being loved is to think back on your past relationships. Consider the problems that arose in the relationship and how you contributed to those problems. What did you struggle with in the relationship? What did you fight about? If you broke up, what was the reason for the breakup? In what ways did you contribute to problems in the relationship? What thoughts caused you to respond in the ways that you did? Sometimes childhood experiences can contribute to our ability to love and be loved. If you had some difficult experiences as a child, you may be carrying to feelings into your adult relationships. Consider things that happened to you or around you as a child and how they might be affecting you as an adult. Was there a lot of fighting in your household when you were a child? Did you feel rejected or unloved by one or more of your parents? How did these experiences make you feel? Many people have fears when it comes to loving and being loved. Among those fears are the fear of getting hurt, fear of hurting someone, and fear of commitment. Consider these different types of fears and try to determine if your feelings align with any of these categories.   Fear of Getting Hurt  If you have been hurt in previous relationships, you know how painful it is and may want to protect yourself from ever feeling that way again. As a result, you might try to...


Подумайте, почему вы не хотите вступать в брак. Не подыгрывайте намекам партнера. Обсудите все еще до предложения. Не позволяйте другим давить на вас. Задумайтесь о будущем.

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It is perfectly OK to have a "gut feeling" that the marriage would not be successful and simply go on that. However, it is even better to be clear to yourself what your concerns are. If you're simply nervous about making such a big commitment (which is not uncommon) try reading the advice in How to overcome the fear of marriage. If you're concerned that you and your mate are not compatible in some way, it's important to address your worries as soon as possible, long before your partner gets down on their knee. Think about these aspects of the relationship in advance so you're prepared to have a serious conversation:  Does the relationship feel serious and permanent to you, or more lighthearted or temporary? If the other person takes it much more seriously than you do, it could be difficult to find a path together. Is this a time in life where marriage would derail the path that you've set in mind for yourself? Could you see yourself marrying your partner at a later date? Do you have strong opinions about marriage in general? Would you rather live together unmarried, or live separately even in a committed, loving relationship? Do you have concerns about your partner's approach to having children, running a household, financial habits, career goals, or other "big picture" items that would make marriage or cohabitation difficult? Do you have other concerns about your partner or your relationship that are relevant whether or not your get married? These should be discussed as soon as possible, even if marriage is off the table. In an ideal world, the topic of marriage would come up without mind games. However, since this is an emotional issue many people will test the waters before they propose. This may come in jokes, veiled comments, or other subtle "hints". If your significant other raises the issue of marriage, even casually, make your position clear but polite. Or call him or her out to clarify.   For example, if your partner comments while house-hunting: "This house would be perfect for a married couple,"...


Подумайте, почему вы решили расстаться с ним. Обратитесь к семье и друзьям. Сосредоточьтесь на своих потребностях и приоритетах.

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If you are anxious or uncertain about whether or not it is the right decision to break up with the married man, it may help to make a list of the reasons why the relationship is not working. You may feel it is time to end the relationship due to frustration with his inability to leave his wife, guilt due to his constant lying to you and to his family, or anger at being “the other woman”. It can help to remind yourself of the reasons why it may be time to end the affair as you prepare to have the break up conversation with the married man.  Many married men who have affairs will offer very similar excuses as to why they are cheating on their spouse and why they cannot leave their spouse. For example, “I haven't divorced her because of the children,” “I don't love her anymore and I don't think I ever did”, or “We don't sleep together and haven't for a very long time”.  Though you may have believed these excuses when you first became involved with the married man, over time you may get tired of hearing these excuses and be frustrated that the married man seems incapable of leaving his spouse, even when he claims to be unhappy or unfulfilled. It will likely be up to you to end the relationship, as the married man may be content to string you along and continue to use the same excuses. Though you may not want to tell your family or close friends about the affair, you can lean on them for support in other ways. Spending quality time with family and friends, away from the married man, can help you gain perspective on the relationship and remind yourself that you have other meaningful relationships in your life besides the affair.  If you do have a family member or friend you feel you can confide in, talk to them about your feelings around the affair and your decision to end it. Sometimes expressing your emotions and feelings to a sympathetic ear can help you figure out the motivations behind your decision and feel you have support in your decision to walk away from the relationship. If you do not feel comfortable...


Подумайте, почему вы списывали. Подумайте, как вы будете решать проблему, заставившую вас списывать. Придерживайтесь нового плана.

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This can be tricky, and it might take a little bit of self-reflection. However, it’s extremely important to determine what led you to cheat in the first place. Were you stumped by the subject? Were you too busy with extracurricular activities to study? Did you feel pressured by your parents to get a perfect grade? Be honest with yourself about why you resorted to cheating, whether or not it is a great reason. You don’t necessarily need to tell anyone what you figure out about yourself, but keep it as useful knowledge going forward. If you were confused about the subject matter on the test, make a plan to work with a tutor, study an extra hour after school, or meet with your teacher to ask questions. If you couldn’t find the time to study between your other after school commitments, you need to quit some of your extracurriculars (or rearrange your schedule) in order to make school a priority.  No matter what caused you to cheat, you should be able to make a plan to follow going forward. While apologizing and accepting your punishment is OK once, making this plan will help it from becoming a routine occurrence. This is your chance to prove yourself and show that you are not a cheater. Hold yourself accountable, and remind yourself how unpleasant your punishment was. If you need to study more, turn off your cell phone and really commit to studying for a block of time without distractions. If you need extra help, reach out to your teacher and schedule a time to meet that you can’t flake on. You may need to make sacrifices in order to become a better student, but this will be worth it in order to avoid the temptation to cheat and the punishment that comes along with it.


Подумайте, почему вы хотите все вернуть. Задумайтесь о своей роли в расставании. Подумайте, что бы вы могли изменить, чтобы улучшить отношения. Спросите совета у друга, психолога или тренера по личным отношениям. Вспомните о хороших моментах в отношениях.

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Getting back together with your boyfriend because you are emotionally distraught may not be the best reason. Breakups are hard but people recover from them all of the time. Getting back together with him for financial security is also sure to end badly. Before you try to resume the relationship, take an objective look at your reasons for separating and for wanting to get back together.  Discuss your reasons with trusted friends and family to get their perspective on the situation. While the decision is ultimately yours, getting an outside look at your relationship can help you figure out the reasons you want him back. Make a list of pros and cons for getting back together. Also consider the positives and negatives of resuming the relationship versus staying single, as well as what would need to change if you got back together. For example, if you broke up because you didn't like one of his friends, you may need to get over those feelings in order to make the relationship work. Don't let fear of the unknown or of never finding love again hold you back from moving on. Sometimes staying broken up is what's best, but it's hard to see that until you've gotten over the initial pain. It's normal to hurt after a breakup, even if it's the best decision. It may be difficult to understand that you had any fault in it at all. If he gave you his side of the story, think about it with an open-mind. Relationships can be complicated and sometimes you can withhold the needs of the other person without even realizing it. Ask yourself:  What worked in your relationship? What didn’t work in your relationship? What could you have done differently to positively affect your relationship? Use these questions to build healthy relationships moving forward. Also consider what changes you would like to ask your former partner to implement. Ask yourself if it is worth getting back together if your ex is not interested in making any changes. Be careful not to compromise who you are as a person just to get a guy to like you. Find someone...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите избегать людей. Оставайтесь дома. Не проявляйте признаков расположенности к общению. Уйдите в отдаленное место.

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Many people are naturally introverted, and simply need time to recharge after social interaction. If you suffer from depression or social anxiety, however, you may consider seeking help.  Introversion is perfectly normal. Introverted personality types tend to draw their mental energy from being alone, whereas extroverted personality types tend to draw their energy from time spent with people. Give yourself time and space. Do what you need to do in order to feel balanced. If you aren't sure whether you're introverted, or you'd like to explore your personality further, consider taking a personality test like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Be aware that while personality tests may give you insight into yourself, they may not give you the whole picture. Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, can lead people suffer from extreme shyness and fear social interactions like meeting new people, speaking to others, or social events. This fear may focus on being judged or scrutinized by others about how you look, what you say, or what you assume people are thinking about you. If you think that you might be suffering from an anxiety disorder, consider speaking with a counselor or therapist. Depression is characterized by a sad, hopeless mood, along with a loss of interest or pleasure in things that usually interest you. Many people with depression wind up withdrawing from friends, family, and loved ones, but support form these loved ones can be one of the best ways to bounce back from depression. If you feel that you're suffering from depression, tell someone--a friend, a family member, anyone close to you. Consider seeking help from a professional counselor or therapist. The best way to avoid people is to stay home. There are people outside, so don't go outside.  Read a book or watch a movie. Explore the Internet. Play a game. Do whatever strikes your fancy. Consider turning your phone off, or putting it on "silent". Turn off Internet-based chat apps like Facebook Chat, Skype, or Google Messenger. Bear in mind that...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите переехать. Подготовьте почву. Изучите ситуацию на рынке недвижимости. Выберите подходящий момент для разговора. Дайте родителям время на размышления. Уважайте решение родителей.

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Before you approach your parents with your wish to move, think about what your motivation is. Not only can this help you flesh out your feelings, but also help you more convincingly make your case to your parents.  Write down your reasons for wanting to move. For example, you can have things like “better educational opportunities for me and job chances for dad,” or it could be something like “the house is too big for mom to care for.”  It also helps if you have relatives where you are planning to move, with something like "closer to grandma and grandpa." Consider keeping a list of pros and cons for moving. Think about factors such as expenses, losing friends, gaining new opportunities or helping shoulder burdens. Try and not spring on your parents immediately that you want to move. Take time to plant the seed at the right moments once you’ve had a chance to write out your own motivations.  Avoid being pushy. At times that are not rushed, mention that moving might make life a little better or easier. For example, you could say “mom, maybe we both wouldn't be so frantic to leave every morning if we didn't live so far from school" or “dad, maybe you’d have more energy if you didn’t have such a large space to care for.” Point out potential new places when you’re out. For example, say to your mom and dad when you’re headed to the grocery store, “wow, look at everything in this neighborhood: schools, stores, restaurants, and it’s so much closer to your jobs.” You can also say “wow, this assisted living facility has so many amenities and is really close to our house.” Once you’ve planted the seed that you want to move, your parents will likely start to get the message. Researching potential options before your parents start asking questions about your motivation and where you want to move can help you make a more convincing case.   Go online for places you might like to live or move. Use these as a part of the hints you subtly drop hints. Keep in mind elements such as finances when you’re searching. You may not be...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите понравиться девушке. Будьте привлекательным для женщин. Поговорите с девушкой, которая вам нравится, даже если она не проявляет интерес к вам. Не посылайте противоречивые сигналы о своих чувствах. Будьте хорошим другом.

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Ask yourself why you are attracted to girl. For example, she might sense that your interest is purely physical or superficial, and avoid you. If this is the only type of attention she receives from guys, then she might be jaded or feel under-appreciated. Before approaching her, step back and determine what you look for in a relationship. Next, ask yourself if she is good relationship material based on these qualities:  Integrity: is she honest with both herself and others, trustworthy, and dependable. Can you be upfront with each other about your thoughts and fears. Emotional maturity and self-esteem: no one is perfect, but a willingness to reflect on and learn from the past (and demonstrate what you've learned) is a key feature of emotionally mature people. Emotionally immature girls are those that are dependent on others for their self-esteem and well-being, and let their emotions control their actions.  Supportive and committed to personal growth: she has her own interests and actively pursues them, has a general positive attitude about life (even when faced with difficult circumstances), and she maintains good relationships with family and friends and encourages those around her. However, someone that constantly puts their own interests above others, and are overly competitive or judgmental do not make good partners. One of the ways to get a girl to notice you is to make yourself more attractive in how you look and act. By making small changes, you can not only make yourself more attractive to women, but also improve your self-confidence. It is often the little things that will make you stand out, such as practicing good hygiene and doing something nice for others (even when she isn't around).  Clean-up your appearance: this shows you have self-respect and take care of yourself. Make sure you wear clean and unwrinkled clothing, shower everyday, keep your hair combed and groomed, and your beard shaved or trimmed short.  Practice good oral hygiene, brushing your teeth twice a day and avoiding foods that...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите прекратить принимать «Золофт». Обратите внимание на появление любых возможных побочных эффектов. Поговорите со своим врачом. Прекращайте принимать «Золофт» медленно. Снижайте прием согласно рекомендованному врачом графику. Записывайте любые ощущения, которые вы испытываете. Информируйте обо всем своего врача. Принимайте любые новые лекарства, которые назначит вам врач.

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You should generally continue taking Zoloft if the medication has effectively controlled your depression or disorder. However, there are good reasons to discontinue or change your medication under the supervision of a doctor. These reasons include:  If you experience severe or continuous side effects. If your depression or disorder is not under control with Zoloft. This may mean persistent sad, anxious, or empty feelings; irritability; loss of interest in pleasurable activities or hobbies; fatigue; difficulty concentrating; sleep disturbances such as insomnia or excessive sleeping; appetite changes; thoughts of suicide; or physical aches and pains. It is important to note that Zoloft generally takes up to eight weeks to fully work and may require dosage increases.  If you have been on Zoloft for a while (6-12 months) and your doctor feels that you are not at risk for (or do not have) chronic or recurrent depression. Some side effects of the medication can include: nausea, dry mouth, drowsiness, weight loss, insomnia, changes in sex drive, and uncontrollable shaking. Let your doctor know if any of these side effects are severe or do not go away. In addition, ideas of suicide may be present in younger adults and children. Let your doctor know right away if you have thoughts related to suicide. Discuss your side effects or other reasons for wanting to stop taking Zoloft with your doctor. This will help your doctor make an informed decision and decide if the time is right for you to stop taking Zoloft.  If you have been on the medication for less than eight weeks, your doctor will likely suggest you give the medication the full eight weeks to take effect. If you feel like stopping Zoloft because it hasn't been effective, you may want to ask your doctor if increasing your dosage might have positive results. Antidepressants need to be slowly discontinued with gradual decrease in doses to avoid discontinuation symptoms. This is called tapering. Tapering can take weeks to months depending on the antidepressant, how...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите признаться парню в любви. Проводите больше времени вместе. Если вы не уверены в своих чувствах и вообще не можете разобраться в этой ситуации, поговорите с друзьями. Перед тем, как признаться ему в любви, убедитесь, что нравитесь ему. Перед тем, как начать действовать, подождите еще несколько дней. Чаще всего мужчины первыми признаются женщинам в любви.

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" Love is a beautiful, joyous emotion. But it is also a powerful word, and you shouldn't throw it around with your man unless you're sure you mean it. This doesn't mean you need to write a thesis on your feelings. But you do need to ask yourself what you hope to gain by telling him you love him.  If he's already said "I love you," and you know you feel the same, feel free to come out and say it. If your relationship is strong, and you know him and yourself well, it might be time to say "I love you." If you're convinced you're in love, and need to tell him so, then trust your instincts and say it. If you want to tell him just to see if he'll say "I love you" back, or because you feel pressured to say it, don't. Love is something you give to others, it doesn't expect or need someone else's response.  If you're just friends, but want more, you should consider asking him out before saying you love him. Make sure you can spend quality time together before launching an L-bomb. This will also give you a great chance to gauge his own feelings towards you. More likely than not, if you love him then he will feel some attraction back towards you. Just focus on letting go and having fun -- love is not about forcing your feelings -- so take your time and build a relationship.  At the end of the day, this is about you confidently telling him how you feel. If you're not sure if he likes you back, that is okay! That's why you want to tell him your own feelings. Is he comfortable hanging out with just you? If not, telling him you're "in love" might come off a little too strongly. Sometimes you just need some perspective. A big reason many people won't say "I love you" is that they're afraid the partner doesn't feel the same way. At the end of the day, it comes down to speaking your mind and feelings honestly. However, if you're a little worried:  Ask a mutual, trusted friend if they can see you two dating. Talk to one of his friends and see if he is interested in anyone right now. If you're feeling bold, ask if he has any...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите проколоть уши. Рассмотрите альтернативы проколотым ушам. Проведите свое исследование. Выберите безопасное и проверенное место для прокалывания ушей. Изучите юридические аспекты пирсинга. Решите, где вы хотите пирсинг. Изучите процесс прокалывания. Подготовьтесь к жизни после пирсинга.

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Are you doing it to fit in at school? Do you want to be able to wear that gorgeous pair of earrings you just got for your birthday? Do you just really like the way pierced ears look? Thinking about your motives will help put the piercing itself in perspective, and remind you that the benefits of having your ears pierced will outweigh the pain of actually doing it. Know that you can wear clip-on earrings or use converters to wear pierced earrings, if you want to wear earrings without the pain of the piercing. If you're nervous about getting your ears pierced, seriously consider these options. Try wearing clip on earrings for a few days to see if you like them. You might decide that you don't need to get your ears pierced at all, saving you a lot of stress and pain. Investigate the health and safety hazards of piercing your ears. Consider any allergies to different types of metals you might have, as that will affect what earrings you can safely wear. Learn about how to take care of your ears after piercing them, including how long to keep your earrings in and how to clean your ears. Make sure you're comfortable with the risks of piercing your ears, and be confident that you'll be able to take care of them after they're pierced. Knowing about the risks is the first step towards overcoming them. Think about ways to mitigate any risks you learn about, and come up with a plan to keep your ears clean and safe. Make an appointment at a shop approved by the Association of Professional Piercers. Consider reviews and ratings, prices, and store hours before making your appointment. If you're worried about your safety, don't go to a shop such as Claire's that uses a piercing gun. The only way to sterilize piercing equipment is through the use of an autoclave, which would ruin a plastic gun. Choose a place that properly sanitizes their equipment, and be sure to use only high-quality jewelry. You'll be asked to sign a waiver. If you're worried about the legal side and about what your rights will be if anything goes wrong,...


Подумайте, почему вы хотите стать коллекционером. Определитесь с бюджетом. Выберите, что же вы будете коллекционировать. Изучите предметы, которые будете коллекционировать. Знайте про легальный аспект коллекционирования. Наслаждайтесь!

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People do it for fun, or because the collected item might become valuable. You can make it as narrow or as broad a field as you like. There are three basic categories to choose from:  Free. This category often includes sentimental objects like postcards, or fun ones like bottle caps. Inexpensive. This category may include baseball cards or figurines. Expensive. This third category tends to be for expert collectors with items like art pieces, or antiques. Whether you are collecting coins, dolls, or fossils being a serious collector can be expensive.  Single coins can sell from a few dollars to $3,000. A doll can be found at a flea market or antique store for very little, or it could be a L’Oiseleur which runs the price tag of $6.25 million. There are a variety of different kinds of collections.   Stamps.   Old coins. A coin collection could be early American pennies, foreign coins, Roman coins are only a few ideas.  Books. Anything from modern books of poetry to limited first edition. Fossils. Learn where it is best to find the item, how best to care for it.  For coins, books like The Everything Coin Collecting Book is a useful place to start. Most collections have websites where collectors, enthusiasts and sellers have their wares. Go to the library! Librarians can help you research your collection and find resources. Items like dolls, coins, baseball cards and figurines can be found in hobby shops, flea markets, garage sales, antique stores and sometimes even your own attic. When it comes to caring for your collection, make sure you are doing so properly. This is particularly important if you are creating a collection with the hopes that it will increase in value. Depending on its contents many countries may have restrictions on buying certain items.  A UNESCO resolution places restrictions on the movement of antiquities, including coins. The U.S. and other countries have certain restrictions on firearms. For example, don't collect football cards if you find football boring. This is about your interests.


Подумайте, почему вы хотите читать. Определите для себя, что вы хотите прочитать. Выберите жанр, который будет вам по душе. В выбранном вами жанре определитесь с писателем. Проведите параллель между чтением и другими интересами. Не читайте книгу, которая вам не понравилась. Помните, что чтение – это личное занятие.

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People read for a wide variety of reasons. Before you pick up a book, consider what you want to get out of reading. Some people like reading books that teach them new skills, from computer programming languages to skills for hunting or camping. Other people enjoy narratives, whether fictional or biographical, to transport them to other times, worlds, or situations. Think first about what you ultimately want to get out of reading. You are much more likely to learn to love reading if you connect with something that seems purposeful to you. If reading is just an exercise or something you feel you “should” like, it's not likely to have a meaningful impact. Once you know whether you want to learn, be entertained, or something else entirely, you can narrow down types of books based on your answer. For instance, knowing you want an entertaining story alone doesn't narrow between poetry, literature, popular fiction, memoir, and other types of writing, all of which could provide an entertaining narrative.  Try doing an internet search for popular books in the area that you've chosen. This can give you a list of suggestions where you might start. Consult with your local librarian. Librarians are usually delighted to make reading recommendations. Once you know what you're “looking for” from your reading, ask your librarian if s/he knows of any books that might suit. Talk with the employees at your local bookstore. Most people who work at bookstores love reading and love books. They can be a great source of recommendations. Chatting with people who are passionate about reading might even spark a little fire of your own! You can narrow down reading choices even more once you've picked a general type of writing by considering the genre you want. If you've decided on popular fiction, for instance, you can choose between horror, science fiction, historical, fantasy, romance, mystery, or more realist books that take a less whimsical approach to their characters and settings. As another example, if you decide to want to read...


Подумайте, прежде чем говорить. Извинитесь за крик. Говорите шепотом. Не используйте категоричных формулировок.

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If you have a tendency to shout when you’re mad, you are likely an “emotional communicator.” This means that you may tend to speak or act based on feelings and instincts, rather than reasoning things out. Taking a few moments to consider what you want to say can help you evaluate your reactions and communicate more calmly. Extend goodwill to the other person and apologize. Communicate that you realize you shouldn't have yelled and would like to discuss the matter more civilly moving forward. Ensure your tone and volume don't creep back into shouting territory by using a very quiet, “indoor" voice or a whisper. Speak as though you are in a library. If you are talking to your children, get in the habit of whispering or using a hushed voice when you are mad. Whispering has a double-purpose: it helps you keep your voice at an appropriate volume and it ensures that the other person will be fully tuned in so they can figure out what you're saying. Some of the words you use while communicating can actually make you even more angry. Drop absolute terms like “always,” “never,” “should,” or “must.” These words spark conflict because they are judgmental, accusatory, and leave little wiggle room.


Подумайте, прежде чем реагировать на слова или поступок сестры. Решайте проблему с помощью слов. Избегайте тем, которые могут привести к конфликту. Поговорите с родителями.

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The worst thing you can do in a conflict is reacting right away. If your sister hurt your feelings, pause before reacting. Take a few deep breaths and try doing something like counting to five. This will prevent you from blowing up at your sister, potentially making the situation worse. Use your words to handle conflict. Do not scream and yell, as you are not really communicating. Never resort to physical violence, as this will only make things worse. You also do not want to accidentally hurt your sister during an argument.  Let your sister know that she has hurt or upset you. Use simple language to explain the unacceptable behavior instead of getting angry in return. For example, say something like, "Ella, do not pinch me. Pinching hurts." This is more effective than yelling or pinching back. Certain topics may simply cause arguments. Maybe your sister dislikes discussing something at school. Maybe there's an issue you simply disagree on. If certain topics tend to only lead to conflict, you may be better off avoiding them. No one sees eye-to-eye on everything all the time. If you're having trouble managing an issue with your sibling, talk to a parent. Your parents want you and your sister to get along. They will be happy to mediate if the two of you are having an issue.  Do not bring it up in a negative way. You do not want your parents to think you're being argumentative or mean. Present yourself as wanting to resolve the issue rather than get your parents on your side. For example, say something like, "Dad, I'm having trouble with Sophie lately. Can you give me some advice on how to talk to her about how she read my diary?"


Подумайте, приемлемы ли разрушающие методы проверки. Изучите оптические свойства камня. Посмотрите на блеск камня. Посмотрите, как камень рассеивает свет. Определите показатель преломления. Используйте двойное лучепреломление. Проследите за одиночной и двойной рефракцией.

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There are a few identification tests that you may wish to avoid if you need to preserve the gemstone in its current state. This includes hardness, streak, and cleavage tests.  Some stones are physically harder than others, and hardness is usually measured by the Mohs' Scale. Use the various substances provided in a hardness kit to scratch the surface of the gemstone. If the stone can be scratched, it is softer than the substance you scratched it with. If the stone cannot be scratched, it is harder than the substance. To test streak, drag the stone across a ceramic plate. Compare the streak left behind to the streaks illustrated on a streak chart.  "Cleavage" refers to the way a crystal breaks. If there are chips along to surface, examine the area inside the chips. If not, you will need to strike the gemstone hard enough to break it. Ask yourself if the area is rounded like rings on a seashell (conchoidal), straight like steps, granular, splintery, or uneven. Optical phenomenon only occurs inside certain stones. Depending on the stone, you might observe color change, asterism, bands of moving light, or more.  Check for optical phenomena by passing a pen light across the stone's surface. Color change is one of the most important optical phenomena to look for, and every stone should be checked for color change. Look for changes in color between natural light, incandescent light, and fluorescent light. Luster refers to the quality and intensity with which a surface reflects light. When testing for luster, reflect light off the portion of the gemstone with the best polish.  To check for luster, turn the stone, allowing light to reflect off its surface. View the stone with the naked eye and with a 10x loupe. Determine if the stone looks dull, waxy, metallic, shiny (adamantine), glass-like (vitreous), greasy, or silky. The manner in which a stone separates white light into its spectral colors is called dispersion, and the visible display of dispersion is called fire. Examine the amount and strength of this "fire" to...


Подумайте, принимаете ли вы недостатки своего партнера. Понаблюдайте за тем, как вы справляетесь с конфликтами и недопониманием. Определитесь с уровнем доверия. Прислушайтесь к тому, что вы говорите о будущем. Обратите внимание, готовы ли вы к совместной жизни.

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Are you aware the other person’s faults and quirks? If so, then you’re in a normal phase of realistic love in which you may no longer see your partner through rose-colored glasses, but instead start to notice the things that might annoy or irritate you. It's okay to notice these things — no one is perfect, and your partner is going to start noticing quirks and imperfections about you, too. What's important is figuring out if you can accept these things about your partner.  Are you starting to notice that your partner never cleans up the dishes after eating? Or have you noticed larger issues you may need to work on, like that he often says he is fine when he's actually very upset? If you cannot tolerate the other person's faults at this stage, or feel that they are things that the two of you cannot work on, you might decide to move on from the relationship. Once you start to become more intimate with your partner, you’ll likely have more arguments and disagreements. If you're willing to compromise and put your partner or the relationship first, then you're beginning to be in a more committed and content phase of your relationship. Disagreement is unavoidable, but you can learn to communicate better with your partner by:  Listening attentively Avoiding judgments or blaming Asking for clarification Rephrasing or repeating to show you understand Talk about hard topics such as hurt feelings Ask yourself if you can get what you need from one another. The success of building a relationship will depend on if you can trust each other to be there. If you are both turning toward one another and listening to each other's needs, rather than getting angry or denying what your partner needs, then you are certainly in a phase of contentment.  To assess your level of trust, ask yourself if you are able to: Be vulnerable in sharing your concerns and insecurities to your partner. Be open to what the other person is feeling. Avoid getting angry, jealous, or possessive. If you’re in a healthy, contented relationship, you’ll start...


Подумайте, пытается ли человек вывести вас из себя. Научитесь узнавать оскорбления, замаскированные под комплименты. Поразмышляйте о нарушенных обещаниях. Попробуйте разобраться, скрывает ли человек свои чувства и пытается ли он избегать разговоров. Проанализируйте то, как человек обращается с другими. Обратите особое внимание на сарказм. Ищите закономерности.

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People who are passive-aggressive enjoy making other people get angry and lose their cool, but the passive-aggressive person will stay calm and act as though he or she is not doing anything wrong. If you feel as though someone is trying to upset you and the person seems friendly and calm, then you may be dealing with someone who is passive-aggressive. For example, perhaps you have noticed that your roommate has been using your makeup even after you have asked her not to. It might be passive-aggression if you confront her about it and your roommate plays dumb. She might pretend that she did not know it bothered you and she may even seem take pleasure in upsetting you. Someone who is passive-aggressive might give back-handed compliments. Back-handed compliments are compliments that are actually insults in disguise. The recipient of a back-handed compliment may not even recognize the insult, but the person delivering it will feel satisfaction from delivering the back-handed compliment. For example, a passive-aggressive person might compliment a rival co-worker who has just been promoted by saying something like, “Congratulations! It must feel pretty good to finally get promoted after trying for so many years.” This compliment suggests that the person who has been promoted is less successful because it took so long to get the promotion. Passive-aggressive people often make commitments, but then later go back on their commitment as a form of payback. Someone who is passive-aggressive may often break promises or commitments as a way to frustrate other people. For example, a friend might agree to help you with a chore at your house, but then text you that morning to say she isn't feeling well and can't help. While this might be understandable if it’s a one-time thing, a friend who consistently has excuses for why she can't help may be using passive-aggression. Passive-aggressive behavior is marked by a refusal to talk about things that are upsetting. A passive-aggressive person claims to be ok, but is actually...


Подумайте, реалистичны ли ваши ожидания. Поменяйте свой взгляд на внешность людей. Помните, что внешняя красота недолговечна. Помните, что красота заканчивается на поверхности кожи.

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Do you think your dates should be as "hot" as the celebrities on magazine covers?  If so, you could have an unreasonably high standard of beauty.  Remember that those celebrities have makeup artists and stylists who work long hours just to make them look beautiful. Even then, the pictures still need to be photoshopped to look perfect.  If you’re holding people to an idealized standard of beauty, you’re being unfair to them. Think about how you’d feel if people compared you to your own standards for physical attractiveness. Are you focusing on every imperfection that a person has in order to rank their looks?  If so, you could be training your brain to look for people’s flaws rather than to appreciate the whole picture.  Look for what you do like about a person’s looks rather than what you don’t like.  If you’re overly critical about people’s looks, you won’t be able to be attracted to them. You may find that when you stop trying to pinpoint someone’s flaws, they magically become more attractive. If you’re looking for someone to be with long-term, you might want to take their physical attractiveness out of the equation.  People’s looks change over time.  If you decide who to date based on their appearance rather than their personality, you might find that you have nothing in common with them in the future. Some physical traits do show aspects of a person’s character.  If a person is very physically fit, it may show you that they are committed to taking care of their body and can someday commit to taking care of you. Try to look beyond their physical attractiveness to see what kind of person they are on the inside.  A person’s looks are no indication of how they will treat you or whether or not you’ll be compatible with them.  If you’re too enamored with a person’s physical attractiveness you may overlook flaws in their character.


Подумайте, с какими людьми вам нравится проводить время. Запишитесь на курсы, которые вам интересны. Ходите туда, где вам комфортно. Занимайтесь тем, что вам нравится. Будьте осторожны с виртуальными знакомствами. Если вы учитесь в школе, не торопитесь. Будьте разборчивы.

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It is not necessary to find a boy that exactly matches your requirements, but he should have some quality that you really like from the start. What does he value? What does he like? What does he do in his free time? If you know such a guy, great! If you do not know any such guy, you'll have to go looking. Once you determine the kind of guy you're looking for, think about where he'd be. Would he be the type you would meet at a party? That you would run into at sports practice after school? At a music event? Some people might tell you that you should join a club your kind of boy might be in, but that won't last. You need to join a club you enjoy so A) you're happy in it and B) so that you can meet boys that have something in common with you. What'll it be? A drama club? An environmental club? A sport? How about volunteering at the homeless animal shelter? Even if you don't end up meeting that perfect boy, you'll meet some great friends, stay busy, and likely develop a skill. Needless to say, the only place you aren't going to meet boys is if you sit at home all day and watch TV with your cats. Put yourself out there and you'll have to meet one eventually. There's 3.5 billion of them out there after all. This could be your favorite book store if you are an avid reader or a coffee shop if you like coffee. It could even be some place you normally go with your friends. Popular places work too, like skating rinks or ice cream shops – places where people your own age tend to frequent. You can go in a group or alone, but it's important to spend some time on your own in these places so that the boys that do not feel comfortable in crowds (most boys in this context, really) will be more comfortable approaching you or being approached by you. If you work on expanding your horizons, putting yourself out there, going to social events, meetings, gatherings, joining a gym or art class, and pursue your dreams, you will meet that boy. It'll happen. Trust. What's more, you'll likely be happy and be the best version of yourself...


Подумайте, сколько времени осталось до конца четверти или семестра, и выясните, что вам нужно сделать. Оцените свой подход к учебе. Поговорите со своим учителем. Поговорите со своими родителями. Составьте график учебы и придерживайтесь его. Соберитесь и терпите до тех пор, пока все не закончится. Продумайте план на следующий учебный семестр или год. Занимайтесь летом.

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Do you need to improve your grades in only one class, or many?  Do you have assignments left to be submitted, or only the final exam?  Make a list of all the classes you currently have, what needs to be done for each class, and the due dates for all assignments and exams. In order to get the “big picture,” use a calendar to mark out all your assignment due dates and exam dates. Sit down and think about how you’ve been studying up until this point.  Analyze what has worked and what hasn’t - then ask yourself why.  Make a list of things you want to avoid doing in the future (e.g.,  procrastination) - and don’t do them.  Figure out what your motivations for studying are and take advantage of them. This is a good opportunity to learn how to do a S.W.O.T. (Strengths Weaknesses Opportunities Threats) analysis.  The SWOT analysis method was designed for businesses, but can easily be adapted to your personal academic situation. Ask your teacher(s) for advice on how you can improve, and where you might have gone wrong.  Keep in mind that this conversation could go one of several ways.  If you’ve been a lazy student up until this point, and you’re now asking for help, some teachers are not going to be impressed.  Make sure you approach them sincerely and then actually follow through on their advice.  If you ask for their help and then don’t follow it, they’re probably not going to be too thrilled to help you again in the future.  Ask your teacher if there are any assignments you can do for extra credit. Ask your teacher if you can hand-in any outstanding assignments, even those past the deadline.  Or if you can re-do any assignments you did badly on. Ask for help as soon as you know you're having trouble. Do not wait until the last minute to ask for help, or to ask for things such as extra credit. In most cases it will be too late for you. Your parents don’t want you to get bad grades, and if you admit you’re having problems, they will likely want to help.  Even if all you need them to do is constantly follow-up with...


Подумайте, скрывает ли человек, что общается с кем-то еще. Выясните, старается ли человек скрыть свое общение с кем-то другим. Обратите внимание на то, стал ли ваш партнер одеваться иначе. Доверяйте своей интуиции.

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If your partner is having an emotional affair they may not tell you about all their contact with the other person. They may stop being at home as much because they are meeting with the other person. You may also notice that they talk on the phone, text, or chat online with people and don’t mention it. If asked, they may evade answering by saying they are talking to “no one,” “a friend,” or “a co-worker.” If your partner is having an emotional affair, they may start trying to hide their interactions. This might mean they delete call logs or texts, they go somewhere private when they talk on the phone, or they never let you around them and the other person. Your partner may not want you to see how they are with the other person because they act differently. Even though emotional affairs are not physical, that doesn’t mean someone in an emotional affair doesn’t want to impress the other person. Often, people in emotional affairs will dress up before seeing the person, wear perfume or cologne, and start changing things to make themselves more attractive.  Notice if your partner has changed the way they look recently. This could be due to an emotional affair. If your partner has started to dress differently to go to work, the gym, or to a business dinner, it could be a sign. Often, you know when something isn’t right in your relationship. This may be the case if your partner is having an emotional affair. If you start to notice a difference in the way your partner talks about someone or you feel like the relationship isn’t just friendship, your intuition may be right.  If you feel like something is going on, then you want to look for other signs. Don’t go on just your intuition alone, but don’t ignore it either. Another red flag to watch out for is if you advise your partner to be careful about developing a close friendship with someone else and they laugh at you or get defensive.


Подумайте, стоит ли именно вам сообщать плохую новость. Выберите спокойное и уединенное место. Выберите подходящее время, если это возможно. Подумайте о том, как человек может отреагировать на плохую новость.

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If you're a casual acquaintance who has just happened to learn early about some breaking bad news, possibly you should not be the bearer of that news. But if you are the sister of a woman who has been rushed to hospital, then you are probably the right person to break the news to the rest of the family.  It's insensitive to blast personal or sensitive information all over social media, for example, just because you know something. If the news relates to a death or other serious circumstance, give the family and close friends time to call or visit people personally before you jump in and get involved. The worst thing that you can do is to blurt something out in a public space with nowhere for the recipient to turn or even sit down to cope with the aftermath of hearing it. Choose an area that has somewhere to sit or rest. Also, consider taking the person to a location that has a low likelihood of being intruded upon by other people. Other things to do to improve the environment include:  Turn off all electronic distractions such as the TV, radio, music, etc. Pull the blind or curtains if this will improve privacy but don't shut out too much light if it's daytime. Shut the door or pull across a screen or other item to create a private space for the two of you. If you think it would be helpful, have a family member or friend also accompany you. Sometimes waiting isn't possible because the news has to be delivered immediately, before rumors start. However, if it is possible, delay the bad news until a time when the other person is available and receptive.  In other words, delivering bad news as a person is coming in the door from a day of work or school, or after you've just had a huge row with your partner is not likely to be the best of times. While there is not "good" time to tell bad news, there is a point to waiting until a person is not in the middle of arriving or similar. If the news is of such import and urgency that it can't wait for a "better time," just take a deep breath and break in to whatever is...


Подумайте, стоит ли отращивать длинные ногти. Избегайте тех видов деятельности, которые могут повредить ваши ногти. Не грызите ногти. Замазывайте небольшие отлупившиеся кусочки. Подойдите к небольшим сколам лака креативно. Наносите новый слой верхнего покрытия каждые несколько дней даже если лак не облупливался.

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Short nails have less of a chance of chipping quickly, as they don't come in contact with as much on a daily basis. For instance, short nails don't come in constant contact with computer keys while typing. If you can't avoid an activity that you know might damage your nails, protect them if you can. For example, if you need to wash dishes, be sure to wear dish washing gloves while you do it. Biting your nails will destroy your nail polish immediately. While it's hard to break the habit of biting your nails, if you don't you won't have a beautiful coat of nail polish for long. The spots where you apply small bits of polish to fill in any chips will not be as smooth or pretty as the rest of your polish, but they will help preserve the rest of your nail polish from chipping off. This is basically a last ditch effort to save your manicure. If you can, when a coat of polish starts chipping off, simply take it off with remover and start over. If you have a small chip on the tip of your nail, simply file your nail down and then apply another layer of top coat, focusing on the tip of your nail. You can also paint a thin layer of a contrasting color of nail polish all along the edge of your nail, like a thin french manicure. You will need a steady hand but the result will look cute and intentional. It will keep the polish strong and resilient. This will also make your nail polish shiny and beautiful once again without the hassle of totally reapplying it.


Подумайте, стоит ли пользоваться сетевым диском. Подключите диск. Пометьте сетевой диск буквой. Откройте сетевой диск.

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Network drives are great for storing and sharing files with other users on a network. They are also useful if you want to store the drive out of the way, since they can be accessed remotely from anywhere on the network. Network drives can be connected to your network and can be accessed like any other disk as long as you remain on the network.  Plug in the network drive to an outlet if it requires external power. Connect the drive to the network. This can be done via the router or modem - usually with an ethernet or USB cable. This allows you to easily access the drive like any other hard drive whenever you are on the network. The following steps are written for Windows 10 and may vary slightly depending on the version of Windows you are running.  Navigate to This PC > Map Network Drive. Select a drive letter and press Browse. Select the network drive from the list and press OK. Open the file explorer and you should see your drive appear listed with the rest of your storage devices.


Подумайте, стоит ли с ними связываться. Постройте портал в Нижний мир Сделайте броню и лук. Охотьтесь на гастов. Постройте барьер (по желанию). Стреляйте в гаста. Отражайте огненные шары.

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Ghasts are extremely dangerous enemies that shoot fireballs from sixteen blocks away. They drop gunpowder at exactly the same rate as creepers. The main advantage is that they can also drop Ghast tears, a special item used in potion brewing. . Follow the instructions in the linked article to make a nether portal from obsidian and fire. Entering the Nether is not recommended until you have diamond armor, plus a bow and arrows.  Ideally, enchant your equipment to make it even better. Fire resistance will come in handy. A diamond sword is useful for killing other enemies in the Nether, but won't help much against flying, agile Ghasts. Look for Ghasts in large, open spaces, anywhere in the Nether. They are giant, flying white monsters with short, dangling tentacles. The Ghast fireballs are extremely powerful, but the Ghast will not fire through solid blocks. A glass barrier is a useful way to hide between shots while still keeping an eye on the Ghast. A Ghast dies from about three arrows, depending on how far you draw back the bow. Move behind your barrier in between shots, or shoot while running to dodge the fireballs. Take care not to fight the Ghast above lava. If the gunpowder drops in lava, you will not be able to retrieve it. The fireballs move pretty slowly. You can knock them off course with an arrow or sword. Knock them away from you, and try to hit them straight back at the ghast.


Подумайте, тревожит ли вас вздутие живота. Обратите внимание на то, чувствуете ли вы себя сонным и вялым. Оцените свое отношение к еде. Обратите внимание на то, набрали ли вы вес.

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When you adopt a vegan diet, you'll probably start eating a lot more beans and legumes, which are a good source of protein.  These are made of sugars, carbs, and fiber.  Sensitivity to these foods or their constituent ingredients may cause bloating. If you continue to feel bloated for weeks on end, you might consider leaving veganism.  You might initially feel bloated when eating these foods, but gradually adjust to them as you progress in your vegan diet.  Don't give up quickly if you experience bloating. Another alternative to quitting veganism is to just reduce the amount of legumes and beans in your diet.  There are many other avenues to getting an adequate amount of protein without lots of legumes and beans. Iron in the blood provides a substantial amount of energy to the body.  Vegan diets may lack adequate iron content and often don't get enough protein. You can easily correct iron deficiencies by taking a multivitamin or iron supplement.  You can boost your iron absorption by eating iron-rich foods in combination with foods in which vitamin C is present. Did you transition to a vegan diet because you wanted an easy way to restrict your calorie intake and lose weight?  While this in itself is not unhealthy, if taken too far, it might indicate you might suffer from anorexia.  Anorexia is an illness in which you avoid eating to attain a thin body.  Signs you might be obsessed with your food intake include:  Feeling guilty for everything you eat Over-thinking every time you eat Trying to always eat the “perfect” nutritional profile or calorie count. While vegans have far lower rates of obesity than omnivores, a vegan diet does not guarantee you'll arrive at a healthy weight.  Perhaps you've replaced your standard diet with one organized around candy, chips, and soda.  If so, you might gain weight and consider moving away from veganism.  Alternately, you might try introducing more vegetables, fruits, and beans into your diet.  Vegan versions of foods you may have eaten as an omnivore (burgers, deli meat,...


Подумайте, хорошая ли это идея. Свяжитесь с любимым человеком. Постарайтесь сделать все возможное, чтобы ваша беседа была непринужденной. Дождитесь подходящего момента. Будьте честны. Решите, что вы будете делать дальше.

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The easiest and most direct way to find out whether or not your ex misses you is to ask him. Unfortunately, for most people, this is also the most intimidating way; however, simply talking with him is likely the quickest way to figuring out what's going on.  Be aware that, depending on the person, some people may not be honest about their feelings, especially if they are afraid that you are trying to hurt them. If you and your ex aren’t able to communicate without getting into a big fight, meeting up to try and have conversation about a topic like this may not be the best idea. Asking your ex outright seems scary, but it can save you a lot of confusion in the long-term — instead of spending time trying to interpret his silence or what, exactly, his use of that smiley emoji meant, you'll know flat-out if he wants to get back together. If he doesn't then you can begin the work of letting go and moving on and not waste your time on someone who no longer wants to date you. You can contact her via text or email, but the fastest way is probably just to call her. Keep your conversation as light and friendly as possible. Ask her if they’d like to meet up for lunch or coffee because you want to talk about something with her. Understand that she might refuse. If she does refuse to see you it’s a good sign that she doesn't miss you, or if she does, she isn't ready to see you yet. Try not to get angry. Instead, be respectful of her wishes. If this is the first time you are seeing each other since the break up the situation will probably feel a bit awkward. Take the initiative and try to keep the situation as light as possible. Ask him how things are going for him (e.g. with school or work), and let him know a few things that are going on in your life. Try to keep the conversation on light things and don’t just jump straight into talking about your relationship. This will help lighten the mood, and let him know that you aren’t trying to start a fight. If you are at a restaurant or cafe, and are ordering food and/or...


Подумайте, хотите ли вы бросить курить. Определите, почему вы хотите перестать курить. Будьте готовы к ломке.

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Nicotine is incredibly addictive and it will take determination to quit. Ask yourself if a life without smoking is more appealing than continuing your life as a smoker. If the answer is yes, have a clear reason for wanting to quit. This way, when abstaining becomes difficult you can be clear about your very important reason to quit. Consider how smoking affects these areas of your life: your health, your appearance, your lifestyle, and your loved ones. Ask yourself if these areas would benefit from you quitting. Make a list of all the reasons why you want to quit. This will help you become clear about your decision to quit. You'll want to refer to this list later, if you're tempted to smoke.  For example, your list might say something like: I want to quit smoking so I can run and keep up with my son during football practice, have more energy, be alive to see my youngest grandchild get married, or save money. Cigarettes are highly effective at delivering nicotine throughout your body. When you stop smoking, you might experience increased cravings, anxiety, depression, headaches, feeling tense or restless, increased appetite and weight gain, and problems concentrating. Realize that it may take more than one attempt to stop smoking. About 45 million Americans use some form of nicotine, and only 5 percent of users are able to quit during their first attempt.


Подумайте, хотите ли вы сохранить отношения. Если вы хотите сохранить отношения, договоритесь с партнером, что вместе будете работать над этим. Пройдите обследование на наличие ИППП. Поговорите с близкими. Подумайте о том, чтобы обратиться к семейному психологу.

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Infidelity is not always insurmountable. Many couples find a way to move on from an affair. However, infidelity is also a major breach of trust. After the confrontation, you may find the relationship is not worth salvaging.  Remember, you need to know a lot about a situation before you can make an intelligent decision about what to do. During the confrontation, you should have uncovered a lot of facts about your relationship and your partner. Do not make a decision right away. Spend a few days thinking things over and weighing the pros and cons. Making a decision about whether to stay after infidelity is never easy. Take all the time you need. If you decide you want to stay together, both of you need to commit to the healing process. Try to abandon feelings of blame and anger. Move forward together as a couple.  Moving on together is reassuring for the partner who was betrayed. It is also encouraging for the partner who was unfaithful. You want to work on creating a new foundation for the relationship. Accept that it will take time for you to re-build trust and intimacy. Lay down some ground rules in regards to things like communication. For example, maybe it would be best not to address the affair directly right now. You could say something like, "I think we should work on having as normal a relationship possible. I don't want to mention the affair going forward unless it's absolutely necessary." Regardless of whether you stay or go, you should get an STD test. If you and your partner were sexually intimate, you're at risk for contracting STDs if they were unfaithful. Make a visit to your doctor to run a full panel STD test. It's important to seek emotional support after a partner has cheated. If you need to vent your feelings, reach out to friends and family members.  Remember not to be vindictive. You don't want to spread negativity about your ex. Focus on yourself and your feelings rather than complaining about your partner. Talk about our own feelings. Say something like, "I feel so hurt by what he did"...


Подумайте, чего вам может не хватать. Присмотритесь к людям и событиям, которые могли вызвать в вас чувство утраты части себя. Попробуйте заниматься самоосознанием. Цените полезные отношения и избегайте вредных. Проводите время наедине с собой. Ставьте перед собой цели. Наберитесь терпения.

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Take time to reflect on what part of you seems to be missing and on what might have contributed towards your losing it. Helpful questions to think about--or, even better, write about--include:  Who am I currently? Do I like who I am? What part of myself seems to be missing? When did it go missing? Why did it go missing? What am I longing for? What were my dreams when I was younger? What were my passions? What do I wish my life looked like right now? In a year? In five years? What are my values? What do I cherish most? What makes me feel happy and satisfied? Use your answers to these questions to help you figure out where things aren’t working well for you in your life. For example, if your values are courage, honesty, and kindness but you find yourself in a job or surrounded by people who value money and success at any cost, the conflict between what you value and what you’re surrounded by may be part of what’s making you feel alienated from your true self. Sit down and go carefully through your memories, looking for what may have led you to abandon a part of yourself.  For example, were you forced to abandon the imaginative part of yourself when, as a child, your parents insisted your fantasies and daydreams were useless? Think about anything that had a strong physical, mental, or emotional impact on you. Begin with the major ones that come most easily to mind, then move on to smaller, less expected ones. Factors to consider include: Particular events (both positive and negative) Personal relationships (friends, family, partners) Jobs you’ve held Life transitions Accidents Medical issues Childhood memories (both positive and negative) Loss Being forced into an uncomfortable role Being forced to lie to or about yourself Remember that the point of this reflection isn’t so you can blame past people or events; rather, it’s to allow you to understand how and why you lost a part of yourself so you can start working to get it back. When it feels like part of you is missing, mindfulness practices help you reconnect...


Подумайте, что будете говорить. Расслабьтесь. Найдите правильное приветствие. Задавайте привлекательные вопросы. Слушайте. Отвечайте осмысленно. Разговор должен быть коротким.

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Before calling, think about some topics that you know interest him. Discussing a movie he likes, a sport he plays, or a video game you now he plays are good ways to get him talking and to learn more about him. Maybe you are in class together and you need some help on an assignment. You can write down a list of topics to go through, but don't rely on that too much. You want to make it casual and impromptu.  Ask him things like "How did baseball practice go last night?" or "What are you writing your term paper about?" to get him talking about things he loves or knows. These are open enough that he can elaborate and will get him talking. Make sure to focus on a few topics that you know a little bit more about as well. You don't want it to seem fake or rehearsed when you talk about these topics. Once you've planned a few things to say, take a few deep breaths. If you are too jittery or uncomfortable, it is likely that he will feel uncomfortable as well or you could scare him off. Just act natural, be yourself, and remember, he is just a guy.  Make sure you are in a place where you're comfortable and are not likely to get interrupted. You are more likely to be relaxed and confident in your conversation. It might not just be you that's nervous. If you have been giving hints that you like him, he might be waiting for a more obvious sign that you do in fact like him. Calling him is a good way to get this across. Whether he picks up, someone else picks up, or he isn't there, think about what you are going to say. When he answers the phone, give a casual but excited greeting. Since you've never talked to him on the phone before, make sure you mention who it is, saying something such as "Hi, this is Mary. How have you been?". People generally sound different on the phone than they do in real life.  If someone other than the guy answers the phone, don't be nervous to ask for him. Just be polite and ask if he is available. If you get his voicemail, stay calm. Leave a message, letting him know who you are, your number, and...


Подумайте, что вам дали эти отношения. Обдумайте страх быть отвергнутым. Научитесь ценить себя. Удовлетворяйте свои потребности.

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While you may feel like you put in a lot of effort to this relationship-- including caretaking roles-- it’s likely you’ve also gained from this relationship. If you did not find some fulfillment in the relationship, you probably would have ended the relationship much sooner. Consider how this relationship has served you and why it no longer serves you. For example, you may have felt like you had a sense of purpose by taking care of someone who was an alcoholic or that had a major medical condition. You may love the feeling of “being needed” or being in control. People in codependent relationships tend to have a fear of abandonment. This can be one reason they choose a helping role in a relationship: taking care of someone and having someone depend on them means this person won’t likely abandon them. If you have a fear of people leaving you, see a therapist. Therapy can help you work through feelings of abandonment, explore ways to care for yourself, and trust others. Often, abandonment issues start in childhood or with a traumatic event. It’s beneficial to work through these issues in order to help you free yourself from the fear of abandonment. Chances are, you find at least part of your self-worth in caretaking. Instead of relying on helping others to validate you, learn to validate yourself without needing others to validate you. You may feel as if you need others to tell you how important you are, but you can do this on your own. As you think about ending the codependent relationship, reflect on where you derive your sense of self-worth. How do you perceive yourself?  What are your own thoughts about who you are and what you deserve? Do other people seem more able to attain success or happiness than you? You may be so caught up in meeting someone else’s needs that you neglect your own needs. While it may feel like the person depends on you, recognize what is within your own responsibility. It’s likely that by devoting your time, attention, and resources on this person, you’ve neglected taking care of...


Подумайте, что вам известно о песне. Спросите друга, который может знать песню. Сыграйте или напойте мелодию. Охарактеризуйте мелодию. Устройте мозговой штурм. Спрашивайте других.

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If you're trying to identify a song simply using a melody, it is first important to consider how much of that melody you actually remember. Every little bit of information helps, and will increase the likelihood that a friend will be able to pinpoint the song for you.  Being a more attentive listener throughout your music-listening habits will make future scenarios like this much easier to grapple with.  Take care to make sure that all of the information you think you remember is actually right. The memory can be a strange thing, and a few botched notes in your melody can lead your helper completely astray. Choosing the right person to help you has a lot to do with what you currently remember of the song itself. If you distinctly remember the song's melody chances are you'll know the genre as well. Many people prefer certain genres over others, and the ones that tend to listen to the genre of the song in question will subsequently have the highest chance of successfully helping you out. Enlisting the help of friends with formal musical training is helpful too, as they are used to identifying music purely on the basis of melody. Find somewhere non-distracting and relatively quiet; that way, there won't be uncontrolled factors hindering the process. Sit down with your friend and recreate the melody for them, whether with your voice or the piano. Take care to accurately reproduce the cadence and rhythm of the melody as well-- melody entails far more than a simple sequence of notes! While you can technically recreate the melody on just about any musical instrument, it's actually recommended you try doing it with your voice. Especially if you're not a trained musician yourself, the human voice offers a lot of potential for expression. In singing the melody, you might be able to get some of the timbre and tone across as well, making your approximation that much more specific. Giving your helper some context as to the tone, rhythm and general style of the song can help them pinpoint a song just as well as any...


Подумайте, что вам нужно и что вы можете привезти. Купите контейнеры для еды. Возьмите с собой нужные приборы. Еще вам понадобятся тарелки, миски, чашки и кружки.

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Many colleges have restrictions regarding the types of cooking instruments you are allowed to keep in your dorm room. Review these restrictions before making any big purchases. Items you should check on before buying include:  Coffee maker Blender Microwave Small refrigerator Resealable plastic bins and plastic bags are important since they allow you to store leftovers and make your food supply last longer. Make sure that your plastic bins are microwave-safe. Forks, knives, and spoons are the absolute essentials you need to stock up on, so buy these supplies before you head off to college.  You should also consider buying a can opener, funnel, and any cooking utensils (like whisks and mixing spoons) you might need if you plan to prepare your own food. Cooking supplies also include baking pans, saucepans, and frying pans. You will also need plates, bowls, cups, and mugs when you head off to college. Make sure that your dishes are microwave-safe.


Подумайте, что вам нужно от чата. Чат-клиент для прямого обмена сообщениями с друзьями и семьей. Чаты с доступом из браузера. Чат-клиент для подключения к чат-комнатам. Прочие способы.

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Ask yourself if you will be chatting mainly with friends or mainly with strangers. There are different chat programs and services that are suited for different types of chatting. Are you going to be chatting one-on-one with friends and family? Are you more interested in chat rooms that anyone can join, or chatting directly with strangers? How anonymous do you want to stay? The most important thing to consider when you want to chat with people you know is what program they use. In order to chat with someone, you’ll need to use the same program or service that they do.  Chances are your friends and family use Facebook, which comes integrated with a chat program. You can use this chat to talk with other Facebook users on their computer on through mobile phones. You will need to be Facebook friends with the person you want to chat with.  Skype is one of the world’s most popular direct chat programs, and offers a little more anonymity than Facebook. You don’t have to use your real name to sign up for a Skype account. Skype has recently absorbed MSN, another popular chatting app, making MSN users Skype users. There are a variety of direct chat apps available for smartphones. Some of the most popular include Kik, SnapChat, and WhatsApp. You will need to add other users to your contacts before you can chat with them.  AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) is another chatting program that has declined in usage over the years but still remains popular. You will need to add other users, but you don’t have to use your real name. There are a huge number of chat services that you can access through your browser. These are typically anonymous in that you have a username that you use instead of your real name. Popular sites include:  Omegle and Chatroulette are both is a direct chat programs that connect you with another random user. This programs use your webcam if it is attached. You don’t have any control over the person that you are about to talk to. There are a variety of websites that host chat rooms. These include video chats...


Подумайте, что вам нужно. Подумайте, не стоит ли отдать все это на аутсорсинг. Добавьте в программу все необходимые дополнительные материалы.

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The nature of the program will determine the assets you will need. Do you need custom sounds? Artwork? Content? All of these questions should be answered before you release your program. If you need a lot of assets, but don't have the manpower or talent to create them yourself, you can consider outsourcing asset creation. There are countless freelancers out there that may be willing to work on your project. Make sure that they do not interfere with the functionality of your program, and that there is nothing superfluous. Adding assets usually occurs int eh final stages of the programming cycle, unless the assets are integral to the program itself. This is most often the case in video game programming.


Подумайте, что вас отдалило. Возьмите на себя ответственность за свою роль в проблемах. Спросите жену, как вы можете исправить ситуацию. Отпустите прошлые обиды. Не спешите. Если вам не удается самостоятельно решить сложные проблемы, обратитесь к психологу.

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Spend some time thinking back on your relationship with your wife, from the very beginning through the present. As you do that, try to pinpoint a time when it seems like things changed between you. Sometimes there might be a very clear incident that drove a wedge into your marriage, like an affair or an ugly fight. However, sometimes the answer can be harder to spot, like that one of you struggles with intimacy issues or feels neglected in the marriage.  Try writing down your thoughts in a journal to keep track of them through this process. Don't push yourself to come up with the answer all at once. It can take a long time to get perspective on what led to problems in your marriage. Once you've gotten a good sense of where things started to go wrong, take a good look at what you might have done to contribute to the situation. Then, sit down with your wife and have a conversation where you acknowledge your role in the problems the two of your are having.  For instance, you might say, "Jessica, I know that I let my job come between us, and that made you feel lonely and sad. I'm really committed to making our marriage work, though, and I'd like us to find a solution together." Don't focus on things your wife needs to change. Even if it seems like your wife instigated the issue, it's important to understand anything you could or should have done differently. Otherwise, you can't promise to make a change. Once you've let your wife know that you accept responsibility for your part in the problem, ask her what changes she'd like to see you make in the marriage. Try to get her to give you specific answers on things she'd like you to work on—but give her some time to reflect if she needs it, so she doesn't feel pressured or put on the spot.  For example, you might say something like, "What could I do that would make you feel more loved and appreciated every day?" or "What are some things I do that hurt you that I might not realize?" As you do this, you might be surprised to learn that something you did hurt her, even...


Подумайте, что вы будете делать с деньгами. Поставьте перед собой цель. Попросите родителей открыть вам депозит. Следите за тем, сколько денег вы получаете. Ведите записи расходов.

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One reason why many people don't reach their financial goals or aren't able to save money is because they don't know what they want to do with the money. Do you want to save for college? Buy your own laptop? Buy a car? Deciding what you want to do with your money is the first step on the path to saving it. If you're having trouble figuring out what you want to do, consult the people who know you best: your parents and close friends. Brainstorming with other people who know you very well can help shake loose your own thoughts and re-awaken your dreams and goals. Once you know what you want to do with your savings, you can figure out how much you should be saving each week or month, depending on when your allowance, paycheck or other source of income is made available to you.  A good rule of thumb is to save $1 out of every $3 you get. Saving one-third of your income might seem like a lot, but it's the only way to really build up your savings into something. Saving one-third or thirty percent of whatever money you receive is one of the best saving strategies out there. Once you start, it will become a habit.  Also consider how much you want to have and when. This will help determine how much you need to save each week or month. If you want to have $100 in one year and you get $5 allowance a week, setting aside about $2 each week will get you to that goal. Getting a savings account is a great way to keep your money save and even earn a little interest on what you save. In addition, having a bank account can encourage good savings habits.  If you're under 18 years old, your parents will probably need to be on the account. A joint account is one way that many banks offer accounts to kids. Your parent(s)'s name(s) and your name will be on the account for liability and legal purposes. This may seem like a downside, but it may also make it harder for you to spend your money at will since your parents will know if you make a withdrawal.  Look for banks with minimal fees and balance requirements. Many banks have a...


Подумайте, что вы извлекли из неприятного момента в прошлом. Создайте новые счастливые воспоминания. Ведите занятой образ жизни. Избегайте употребления алкоголя и наркотиков. Поставьте свое здоровье в приоритет.

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Even the most horrible experiences can teach us something. It might take you a long time to realize what you have learned, especially if the incident is fresh. But if you can look back and see that you gained wisdom from the situation, your bad memory might lose some of its sting. Can you find a silver lining you haven't noticed before?  Remember that negative experiences are an inevitable part of life. Difficult experiences make us stronger, and help us appreciate the pleasurable moments in life. Without feeling bad once in a while, we wouldn't be able to appreciate feeling good. Try to count your blessings. Whatever you may have lost as a result of this memory, make a list of the things that you are thankful for now. As time passes, the bad memory will naturally start to fade a little. You can speed up the process by living life fully and creating new good memories to fill your mind. Spend time doing things you enjoy with people who make you happy. The more positive memories you make, the less significant the negative ones will seem in the long run.  It can help to go to places you've never been before, so you can have brand new experiences that aren't tainted by the past in any way. Book a flight to a new city, or be a tourist in your own city and go to a neighborhood you don't usually frequent. If traveling isn't your thing, change up your routine in some other way. Go to a new restaurant you've never tried, cook a challenging meal, or invite all your friends over for a dinner party. Keep your schedule full and your mind stimulated, so you have less time to dwell on negative thoughts. If you tend to spend a lot of time by yourself, make it a point to go out more with friends, or visit your family more often. Distract yourself with a good book, or pick up a new hobby. The more time you spend sitting around with nothing to do, the more likely you are to dwell on old memories. Here are a few great distractions that will help you stay busy:  Take up a new physical activity, like soccer or kickboxing. If...


Подумайте, что вы умеете делать. Просмотрите объявления о подработке. Участвуйте в исследованиях и опросах. Подайте заявку в агентство по временному трудоустройству.

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You might be able to find a short term job more easily if you have certain skills.  Bookkeeping and accounting jobs are often short term or temporary. If you have skills as a bookkeeper, you can often find a well paying position on a short-term basis. Offices and human resource departments often look for part-time workers when they have an increase in paperwork or filing. If you have tech skills, some firms or websites may hire on a short-term basis. The online marketplace Craigslist features an “ETC” category under the Jobs heading local newspapers also often carry advertisements for quick, temporary work. Check everywhere you can and think about what you're able to do.  Take a job as a sign waver. All kinds of businesses hire sign wavers to stand outside for 8 or 10 hours and wave a large sign at passing cars. Used car lots, payday loan stores, and furniture stores in particular use this marketing technique and often pay in cash at the end of the day. Help out with event work. Browse listings for people and small businesses who need help setting up, running, and tearing down booths for local events like farmer's markets and street fairs. These jobs often start early in the day and often pay the same day. Be prepared to do anything from construction to running a booth. This isn't a reliable way to make a lot of money, but if you're just a few dollars short, it can make up the difference. A Google search will help you find some online surveys.  Be sure you qualify for the study before you apply. For example, you won't want to apply for a study that is looking at the effects of smoking if you aren't a smoker. Apply in person to expedite the process. In the case of some surveys, you'll be able to show up and do a paid survey right then and there. Studies usually last longer, but may provide compensation before the end of the study period. Temporary work agencies place thousands of employees with daily work. If you have specialized work skills or previous experience in a field, you might have very good luck...


Подумайте, что вы чувствуете прямо перед тем, как оттолкнуть человека. Повысьте самооценку. Проанализируйте свой уровень доверия. Откровенно сообщайте о своей готовности к близости. Замените вину сочувствием.

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Most of the time, people shut others out because they’re afraid of something. Think about the last time you pushed someone away, and ask yourself what you were scared of. Once you understand why you behave this way, you’ll be in a better position to start making changes.  You may have experienced trauma or hurt in a previous relationship, so you push people away to protect yourself from more hurt. Journaling or free-writing might help you figure out what's at the root of your behavior. Start a page about relationships and write down everything that comes to mind when you think of that term. After a few minutes, review what you came up with. For instance, you might be afraid that people will dislike you once they get to know you, or you might be afraid that people will take advantage of you after you start to trust them. It's common for people with low self-esteem to push others away because they may not think they deserve positive relationships. If your self-esteem is low, you might engage in negative self-talk that reinforces your feelings of being disconnected from others.  In addition, you might constantly repeat self-deprecating statements like "I don't deserve happiness" or "People hate me." These statements only make you feel worse. Instead of engaging in negative self-talk, promote a healthy self-esteem by listing your best traits. Then, turn these traits into powerful affirmations, such as "I am a great listener" and "I try to show compassion for others."  Repeat these statements several times daily. Another reasons behind a push-and-pull relationship might be trust issues. If you've been hurt in the past, you might find it difficult to let down your walls and be vulnerable with others. In order to stop this pattern, you will need to risk being hurt again. That's the only way to give others the chance to earn your trust.  It may be helpful to voice your concerns to any new partners. Let them know that you have trouble trusting, and ask that they be patient and work with you. Take baby steps by giving...


Подумайте, что вызывает у вас желание заняться сексом. Старайтесь не смотреть порнографические материалы. Попробуйте перестать мастурбировать. Воздержитесь от употребления алкоголя и наркотиков. Найдите эффективный способ контролировать свои мысли. Минимизируйте стресс. Займите себя чем-нибудь. Займитесь спортом.

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Spend some time thinking about your behavior and what leads you to have sexual impulses. Think about triggering stimuli, the time of day, as well as the environment in which you tend to have these urgings. See if there are any patterns that emerge in your behavior.  If you have discovered a pattern, figure out how you can break the cycle with new behaviors or lifestyle changes. For example, you may notice that you feel most overwhelmed with sexual urges in the evenings and on weekends -- when you are not working and don’t have anything to do. You may decide to take up a new hobby in order to keep your mind off sex. Perhaps you are triggered by stimuli in your environment. If you find yourself aroused by steamy love scenes in movies, for example, it may be best to watch other kinds of non-romantic films until you can get a better grip on your urges. Consider keeping a journal of your actions and behavior leading up to sexual urges. A journal can help you identify triggers and patterns. Pornography has turned into a billion-dollar industry, and viewing it is more acceptable than ever. This makes pornography difficult to ignore, but as it rewards sexual urges, it is best to avoid viewing it if you are prone to troublesome sexual urges.  You may wish to put browser extensions or parental controls on your computer to make it difficult to access pornography on your computer. You could even have a friend or your partner install it and not inform you of the password. Throw away any pornographic magazines, books, or movies you may have. You may wish to avoid masturbating for a set amount of time to help you get your sexual urges under control. For some people, abstaining from masturbation may be more important than for others. You may wish to get suggestions about what would be appropriate for you from a therapist.  For example, if you feel you masturbate compulsively, it may be a good idea to commit to abstaining from masturbation for a set amount of time. This may also be appropriate if you have a porn addiction....


Подумайте, что делает ваш город уникальным? Проведите опрос среди жителей города. Проведите опрос среди туристов. Составьте маркетинговый план. Придумайте уникальный слоган. Составьте план действий.

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One way to do this is to make a list of all the activities and attractions currently available in the town. Often, tourist are interested in the things they can do and see in your town or city, more than the location of the town or city itself. They will search online for an activity first and then a location. For example: rock climbing Bend, Oregon, or fly fishing Missoula, Montana.  Focus on activities or attractions that are specific to your town. Even a small or strange attraction could attract visitors and bring attention to the town, from the world’s largest paper clip to a man made wave in a river. Ask yourself: What makes the town worth a special trip? What do you have that a tourist can’t get or do somewhere else? Work with a tourism planning committee and narrow your focus on the top three things your town has to offer. The more specific, rather than generic, you can be, the more likely your town will be of interest to tourists. A survey is a valuable tool during tourism planning as it helps you collect information on the town and ensures the community can agree on the branding and marketing for the town. Do face to face interviews or phone surveys. Ask questions such as:  What do you think attracts a visitor to the community? What type of visitor do you see coming to our community? How can we do to improve the visitor’s experience? You can conduct face to face interviews at the local shopping mall. You can also ask visitors to sign up to a mailing list and email them a survey. Ask questions such as:  Where does the visitor live? What attracted the visitor to the community? How did the visitor find out about the tourist attractions? What type of businesses or facilities did the visitor use? What kinds of accommodations or services are needed? A third party endorsement from previous visitors to the town or current visitors is a good way to determine how to better serve future tourists. A good way to do this is to determine target marketing segments. Define market areas that will draw the most...