Составьте список муравьев своей местности, если это возможно. Если есть необходимость, воспользуйтесь более серьезными справочниками. При чтении нижеприведенного раздела вернитесь к исследуемому муравью.

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There are thousands of species of ants worldwide, but typically only a few are likely to be encountered in a given region of the world. Save yourself time by knowing which ants are possibilities in your county or province, instead of reading every description. Some tropical countries and islands have interactive guides here, but not all of these are in a usable state. Worldwide guides to ant species may require sifting through dozens or hundreds of species. If you can't find a local list, or if none of the ant species described below match your specimen's description, here are a couple good options:  Visit AntWeb.org. Select Regions in small text near the top of the page, then select your region from the drop-down menu. Select "Nearctic" for Canada, the U.S., and Baja California. Select "Neotropical" for the rest of Mexico and Latin America. Alternatively, enter your specimen's information into Discover Life's database. The species descriptions below provide additional information whenever it may be useful. Head color, antenna shape (thin or "clubbed"), and other information may come in handy. Start by navigating to the section for one-node or two-node ants, depending on your specimen. In each section, the most widespread invasive ant species are listed in detail first. Other relatively common pest ant species with more restricted territories are given briefer descriptions beneath them.


Составьте список навыков, которыми вы обладаете, перечислите все свои сильные стороны. Подумайте о своих интересах и увлечениях. Решите для себя, чем бы вы хотели запомниться людям, прежде чем уйдете на пенсию. Сосредоточьтесь на собственных стремлениях, а не ожиданиях общества. Пройдите тест на профессиональную ориентацию.

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Take some time to really think through the things you are good at. Consider things like physical skills, practical tasks, and creative work. Perhaps you are a great artist, a whiz with numbers, an excellent salesperson, or an all-star soccer player. Alternatively, you might have a thorough knowledge of historical events, manage your time efficiently, have strong spacial reasoning skills, be a great public speaker, or have a natural knack for technology. List every skill and strength you can think of. If you’re struggling to determine your skills or strengths, ask your friends, family, and colleagues for their input. Now, think of what you enjoy doing, which may not be the same things that you are good at, and add them to the list. For instance, you might enjoy spending time in nature, attending parties, studying other cultures, putting together model planes, hosting fundraisers, or traveling around the world. Or, you might like to read, listen to music, swim, conduct science experiments, play with animals, cook or bake, ride a motorcycle, volunteer, make craft projects, clean, go fishing, or create sculptures. In order to land a job you enjoy doing, choose something that you enjoy and are also good at. Look ahead to the future and think about what you’d like your life’s work to be. It’s okay if you don’t know right away; spend some time thinking it over. Perhaps you want to build an empire, make a difference in children’s lives, create a new piece of technology, develop sustainable living practices, or bring joy to the elderly. Determining what you want to be known for will help you determine what career path to take. Think about how the job will affect you as you age. For instance, if the job requires intense physical labor, it may be difficult to sustain when you get older. It’s common to feel pressure from your family members, friends, teachers, and society to follow a certain path. And while doing so might make them happy, it probably won’t make you happy. Let go of other people’s expectations of you and...


Составьте список необходимых дел. Составьте список дел, которые вы давно хотите сделать. Уделяйте время друзьям и родным. Составьте календарный план. Контролируйте траты.

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Use your break to catch up on all those things that you could not find time for during school. Use your time to catch up on laundry, or cleaning your room. You don't want to waste precious time every day looking for some clean clothes to wear, or trying to find your phone or keys in a messy room. It may not be the most fun you'll have all summer, but getting it out of the way first can make for a great start. Think big. List all the things you have been wishing you had the opportunity to try, then spend your holiday making them happen. Having a list handy will provide you with lots of ideas. You won't waste your summer days sitting around trying to think of something to do. Just find something on your list to check off. Keep the people that matter to you in mind. You don’t want to keep yourself so busy that you have no time to catch up with them. Set aside time that is just for being with family or friends and make the most of it. With work, family and friends, keeping track of your summer activities can be overwhelming. Make a calendar so you can fill your days with fun without overdoing it. Summer is a good time to earn extra money. The biggest mistake students make is spending it all on their holiday and going back to school broke. Be sure to limit your activities to what you can afford so you head back to school in good financial shape. You don't want to begin the new school year while you are stressed out about money.


Составьте список общих интересов. Подумайте, относитесь ли вы к новым отношениям как к чему-то несущественному. Не ведите себя как пара, за плечами которой много лет совместной жизни.

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Successful relationships should have multiple common interests between partners.  You may not have everything in common, but it’s difficult to grow a relationship when interests are dissimilar.  If you can't find many common interests, you may be more eager to be in a relationship than you are excited about the new partner.  If the relationship itself is the connection, that's a rebound sign. If one of your common interest check-marks isn't attraction, be cautious.  Rebound relationships often stem from a fear of being alone, rather than actual attraction.  If you’re not really into the other person, the relationship may just be a comforting technique. Casual relationships are missing the true connection and depth of a meaningful relationship.  If you feel like you are genuinely using the new partner instead of actually forming a relationship, it’s very probable you don’t want to risk new heartbreak, and the relationship is casual. Oftentimes, a rebound relationship is used as a bridge to get over emotional issues, and to make it from one serious relationship to another. If you and your partner are in a routine like a couple that has been together for years, you may be attempting to replace the normalcy of your previous relationship.  You want to do some of the common things you and your previous partner did instead of the normal dating process.  A few potential activities of established relationships are as follows:  Binge-watching a series on Netflix Talking about the ideal home together Discussing future, mutual finances


Составьте список под названием «Должен сделать». Придерживайтесь принципа «Когда» и «Где». Постоянно подтверждайте свои желания.

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Everyone has a "to-do" list, and it is rarely completed. The problem with a to-do list is that it lacks urgency. Instead, a must-do list are the critical things that have to happen in order for you to advance.  Studies show that individuals who are constantly in motion towards their goals are generally more satisfied with life than those who reflect on issues. Keep the list tight and focused. Put down two or three goals that you need to accomplish that day. Keep your list handy. Reference it throughout the day to make sure you're on track to reach your goals. Make sure the goals are obtainable. Lofty goals are good for motivation, but make sure that your must-do list has concrete, obtainable goals for that day. " You will be more successful reaching your goals if you map out when and where you will tackle it. By writing a statement on your must-do list like "I will perform [an action] when I encounter [a situation]," you increase your motivation and help fight procrastination. Keep the end goals in sight, and update them as your life and situation change. Don't dwell on what you haven't accomplished yet. Instead, focus on your journey towards attaining your goals.


Составьте список пожеланий. Приводите примеры хороших подарков. Говорите прямо.

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Given the appropriate occasion, such as your birthday or one of the winter holidays, consider having a wish list. It doesn't necessarily need to be a list itself, but know what you're aiming to get. For those of your family or friends who can't help but gift terribly, lay it on thick to them what it is you really want from them. If the desire is really to just avoid the bad gift, make your suggestion something cheap and easily attainable.  "I'm still working through the last CD you gave me. I'm really looking forward to [artist name]'s next release though, should be out before Christmas." "I love those socks you gave me, I wear them around the house all the time. There's these shoes though that I'm really pining after; I think they sell them at [department store name]." For the chronic bad gift-giver in your life, go out of your to find out just what they would like. Don't be afraid to even ask "what would you want to get?" If they try to demure or offer an "anything'll do," press them on it. Everyone always has something in mind, so find out what it is. The hope here is that they'll mirror your effort when it comes to gifting next. If they just won't quit, it might be time to say something before you have a room dedicated to gifts you never wanted. Hopefully you know your gift-giver enough to explain to them without offending them. If not, be prepared for them to become upset even if it's not really justified. Sometime after they've given the gift, pull them aside and tell them honestly "I'm not really sure this gift is for me."  "You know I love music, but this is just really not my style. I'm more into [style of music]." "I can't thank you enough for knitting this for me, but I'm not sure it fits with anything in my wardrobe." "I think I need to be honest: I've never found a way to pair any socks you've given me with anything I own. I can't thank you enough for the gift, but I've no use for any more socks like this."


Составьте список потенциальных спонсоров. Познакомьтесь с потенциальными спонсорами. Ищите разные способы презентации своей организации. Репетируйте свое обращение.

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Before you begin asking for money, it's best to have an idea of who you're going to ask for donations. If you're going door-to-door, that may be as simple as deciding which neighborhood(s) to work in. If you're soliciting donations by phone or by mail, though, you'll need a list of prospective donors to contact.  If you can identify past donors on your list of people to call or write to, you may want to prioritize those individuals as "best bets" - these are people who, given their history of donating in the past, will most likely contribute again to your cause.  Try to identify which people on your list are the most financially stable. You can do this by interacting with the individual to get a sense of his or her finances, or if going door-to-door, look at the houses residents live in and the cars in their driveways. People with large, elaborate homes or flashy sports cars most likely have more disposable income. (Though of course this doesn't guarantee that they will give donations.)  You can also look for potential donors by their other areas of spending. For example, does the prospective donor attend fundraisers for other organizations or individuals? If so, that prospective donor probably has the means to donate to your organization, if properly persuaded.  Consider using analytical software and services, such as Donor Search, to identify which potential donors are more wealthy and more likely to donate.  Remember to think "ABC" when identifying donors: Able to make a gift, Belief (known or potential) in your cause, and Contact/Connection with your organization. If your organization has dealt with donors in the past, you or a colleague will probably know what strategies work best in making your appeal. Some people want to know how the money from last year was spent, while others may simply want to know how much is needed. Certain donors may have fears or reservations about donating, and it's important to learn to recognize those fears/reservations so you can address them in advance.  Some donors may...


Составьте список предсмертных желаний. Определите свои главные ценности. Проверьте себя, чтобы определить свои сильные стороны. Обратитесь к консультанту по профориентации или личностному тренеру. Перечислите свои жизненные препятствия.

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Research shows that people tend to regret what they didn't do more than what they did. With this in mind, create a list of things you want to do during your lifetime. These can be "small" experiences like sky-diving or "big" experiences like advancing your career or having children. and allow them to guide you. It's not always obvious what will make us happy. Take a minute to examine what it is that you want out of life. Some people find meaning in the joys and challenges of teaching, others thrive on the competition and creativity of the business world. Before making a big decision, ask yourself: "Will this action or course cause me to feel regret? Is it in line with my values?"  Your values have a lot in common with your highest priorities. Look at your daily life to help you answer this question. Where do you spend your time and money? Family? Education? Art? Travel?  Set goals that support your values (if you want to live abroad for a year, for instance, set goals to save money to move, gain employment, etc.). If you aren't sure what direction to pursue in life or what you find meaningful, take this career personality and aptitude test. The test will help you discover your strengths and match those strengths to a potential course in life: click here. A licensed professional can help you discover your innate talents, identify your passions and overcome obstacles. This is especially useful if you feel frustrated at not knowing where your life should be headed. Speaking with a life coach is another option, but be aware that is little regulation on getting those certifications. Many people know what they want, deep down, but they may have problems achieving those goals and dreams. Frequently, for example, people report regret over not following their own desires because of pressure from other people. Knowing what is preventing you from reaching your full potential is an important step. Keep in mind that most people's regrets center around education, romantic activities, and their career. Pay attention to what...


Составьте список преимуществ высокого роста. Выявите у себя другие особенности, которые делают вас уникальным человеком. Запишите на бумаге те чувства, которые возникают у вас по поводу своего роста. Поговорите с тем, кому вы доверяете.

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Many people are jealous of people who are tall because of all of the advantages that come with it. Write down as many advantages as you can think of and review your list whenever you are feeling down about being tall.  These advantages may be personal, such as being more attractive to the opposite sex. The advantages may be professional, such as having an advantage in a sport like basketball or volleyball. Or, the advantages might just include everyday things, like being able to reach items on high shelves. Your height is not the only thing that makes you who you are. Think about your interests, values, and personality traits and write these down. Your list might include things like:  Your taste in music, books, movies, clothing, or other personal preferences. Your interests and hobbies, such as playing a sport, baking, painting, or writing. Things that you value, such as hard work, creativity, and originality. Your personality traits such as honesty, loyalty, and kindness. Journaling is a great way to relieve stress and express your feelings. To help you express how being tall makes you feel, try starting a journal and write in it any time you feel self-conscious about your height. For example, if someone teases you for being tall, then you might describe what happened and how it made you feel. Talking about your feelings can also be a helpful way to begin to embrace your height. Try talking with a trustworthy friend or family member about how being tall makes you feel.  Talk to someone who will listen to you and who will be compassionate about what you share. You might even try talking with someone who is also tall and ask if he or she dealt with similar feelings. You could also talk with a school counselor or a therapist if being tall is something that is affecting your confidence or making you want to avoid particular situations. For example, if you are avoiding social events due to your height, then this can interfere with your life.


Составьте список привычек и моделей поведения, которые вы хотели бы контролировать. Выберите основную модель поведения, которую вы хотели бы контролировать. Исследуйте модели поведения. Честно следите за собой. Ставьте перед собой реалистичные цели. Отмечайте свой прогресс. Мотивируйте себя. Направьте энергию на положительные модели поведения. Найдите новое хобби. Побуждайте себя к изменениям. Используйте свою систему поддержки. Вознаграждайте себя. Знайте, когда нужно обращаться за помощью.

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If people in your life have made suggestions about your habits, take those suggestions into consideration. Remember that true change comes from the inside so also listen to your intuition and honor how you feel as well as feedback you have received from people in your life. You have to be committed to making change and building self-control in order to truly change your behaviors. Some examples might be smoking, eating, work habits, productivity, alcohol, controlling your temper, shopping or spending money, etc. We all have areas of our life that could use more discipline and self-control, so remember to be easy on yourself and take things slowly. Look at your list and choose one thing you want to work on. Changing habits takes time, and building self-control takes effort. Honor your energy and set realistic goals that are achievable.  Remember that you’re only in control of your own behavior while choosing. For instance, don’t choose something like “having a better relationship with my parents” since that requires effort from your parents as well. A goal such as “improve my communication habits with my parents” is better because it hinges on your behavior alone. Be realistic about what kind of changes you can make that will fit into your life, your time, and your ability. If you try to change everything at once, as ambitious as this may be, you can risk self-sabotaging your efforts and giving up. Educate yourself as much as you can about how others have built self-control in similar situations. Ask friends or loved ones who have made similar changes in their lives. Do an internet search about the specific thing you are trying to change. For example, if overeating is the behavior you have decided to change, find books about impulsive eating (or binge eating) and gather as many helpful strategies as you can about how to build self-control around eating. Start a journal just for eating, for example, and write down or keep track of as many strategies as you come across. This gives you more options to try to...


Составьте список принимаемых лекарств. Избегайте чрезмерного потребления спиртного. Уменьшите уровень стресса.

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Many medications can increase bowel movement frequency or cause diarrhea. Check the package insert that came with your medication. If diarrhea or any changes in bowel frequency are listed as possible side effects, consult your healthcare provider if you experience these symptoms.  Adderall has diarrhea listed as a side effect. Metformin, a common medication for diabetes, also cause significant diarrhea.  Check with your doctor if you are having significant GI symptoms while on metformin. Other common medications can cause diarrhea, including misoprostol, laxatives, and stool softeners. Alcohol can also cause diarrhea and may exacerbate bowel-related medical conditions such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Stress may contribute to increased bowel movement frequency and can cause diarrhea. People often feel anxious about relationships, finances, education exams, or other big life events.  Avoid the stressors you are able to avoid. This can include changing your plans to avoid areas of high traffic, or avoiding a particularly difficult coworker. Treat your time as valuable. Learn to say no when someone asks you to help with a last-minute deadline or other activity that you really just don’t have time for. Communicate with respect. If your neighbor is running a basketball tournament out of their house and creating a traffic snarl in your neighborhood, politely ask the person to change their behavior. Perhaps they could encourage parents to carpool or park farther away. Be up front about how much time you can allocate to a project, conversation, or other activity. For example, if your coworker rushes up to you just as you’re about to leave for a meeting, politely tell them that you only have 5 minutes to listen. Forgive and move forward. Staying angry and holding a grudge takes energy – your energy. Talk with the person who has wronged you and honestly express your feelings. Know that their answer may or may not be what you want to hear. Sometimes shrugging your shoulders and moving on is the best thing you can...


Составьте список приоритетных вещей. Сравните списки и найдите компромисс. Оставьте домашних животных с тем, кто сможет лучше о них позаботиться. Сохраните подарки, но верните сентиментальные вещи. Научитесь следовать моральным принципам.

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Agree that each of you will make a list of items you want that ranks the items in terms of priority. Place the items you want the most near the top. Keep the items you could live without toward the bottom. Meet up in a neutral location, like a quiet coffee shop, to go over your lists. It's likely that there will be some disagreement, which should be addressed calmly.  For example, maybe you both want the TV you bought together. See if your ex would offer a trade. Maybe you also both really like a particular coffee table, but your ex is a little more attached. Agree to let them have the coffee table if you can have the television set. For items you absolutely can't agree on, see if your ex is willing to sell the item and split the money. It's sad to let a pet go that you've come to care for, but remember to take the high road and do what's best for the pet. The pet should go to the primary caregiver. Whoever has the most time to care for the pet should take it in the breakup.  For example, you have a dog with your ex. You have a demanding job and are away for long hours during the day, while your ex works from home. It makes sense to let your ex take the dog, as they'll be able to provide it with the most attention and care. It can be hard to let go of a pet. If you and your ex are still on good terms, you might be able to do something like have visiting hours with the pet or meet up at a local dog park on occasion. It's okay to keep gifts your ex bought for you over the years. If they gave you an item of clothing or household device, that's generally yours to keep. However, if they gave you a sentimental item, it's best to return it. For example, if your ex gave you their great-grandfather's watch, this should be returned. If your ex is being very difficult, try to be the bigger person. Remember, items can be replaced. It's worth splurging on, say, a new television set if it means ending a prolonged argument and making a clean break from your ex. If your ex won't let go of an item, and is unwilling to...


Составьте список причин, почему вам нужно или почему вы хотите учиться. Превратите скучную информацию в более интересную, чтобы ее было легче изучать. Установите таймер, чтобы знать, что учеба не вечна. Награждайте себя в конце каждого учебного блока, чтобы продолжать двигаться вперед. Заручитесь помощью напарника по учебе.

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Whatever your reasons are, write them down on a piece of paper and keep them somewhere you can see them often. When you feel like skipping out on studying, read them over to remind yourself of why you need to work hard. Reasons to study can range from wanting to get good grades so you can get into a good college to keeping a scholarship to simply not getting in trouble for getting bad grades. No reason is too big or too small to add to your list! Ask yourself, “How does this material relate to my life?” or “How can I use this in my life?” For example, if you’re bored by the book you have to read for English class, ask yourself how you can relate to the characters in the book to keep yourself engaged. Or, if you’re struggling with studying for biology, get interested in how much you can learn about your yourself and all the living things around you. It can be difficult to be interested in everything, and some subjects just won’t captivate you. But, try your best to figure out how everything you’re learning can apply to your own life. That personal connection could spark enough interest to keep you going! Nobody wants to study for hours on end without a stopping point. Give yourself frequent, regular breaks during your study time. You could set an end time for the day, too, so that you know at the latest how long you’ll be studying.  For your actual study blocks, set a timer for 30-50 minutes and then take a timed break before getting back to work. You’ll study more efficiently if you know a timer will be going off soon. If you study right after school, you could commit to working until dinner time but then give yourself the rest of the evening off. Or, if you study at night, set a timer for 30 minutes before your bedtime so you can wind down. This can be something really small, like getting to enjoy a piece of your favorite candy at the end of each block of time, getting to check Twitter or Instagram for 5 minutes, or taking a break to cuddle your pet. You could also plan a fun reward for the end of each exam...


Составьте список причин. Выберите способ. Выберите день. Прекратите ходить в кальянные.

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When you decide to quit smoking hookah, make a list of reasons you are quitting. Carry this list with you. Sometimes you may need a reminder of why you are making this choice. Pull it out each time you are tempted to smoke. Reading this list can help you stay motivated. Reasons you may consider quitting hookah include the health benefits, wanting to feel better, being tired of smelling like smoke, wanting to stop wasting money, or setting a good example. You can either quit hookah smoking by gradually cutting back or stopping cold turkey. Stopping cold turkey may work for some, but for others it might not always work. Sometimes, quitting completely at once is hard, especially if you have tried to quit hookah smoking before and couldn’t. Instead, gradually cut back on the amount of hookah you smoke. Each week or each day, smoke less and less. Decide which way it best for you. If you start out by quitting cold turkey, but then find that impossible to stick to, switch to a gradual cutting back of your smoking. Make a commitment to quitting hookah by choosing a day you want to stop smoking. Make it at least within the next two weeks. Choose a day where nothing is going on, so you can focus solely on quitting. Try it on a Sunday or a Monday, which starts off your week with your new goal. Or, stop on a Saturday so you have the weekend to get used to quitting before you have to return to work. Since you are trying to stop smoking hookah, you need to stop going to hookah bars. This just puts you right in front of temptation. Plus, in hookah bars you will be inhaling the smoke, which won’t be very helpful as you try to quit. Instead of hookah bars, go to other places. Go to a real bar where smoking isn’t allowed. Go to the movies, a museum, or out shopping. Stay away from places where smoking is allowed.


Составьте список проблем, которые беспокоят вас. Ведите дневник. Составьте список дел, которые вам непременно нужно сделать в течение дня. Установите «время на размышления».

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Whether you're writing on paper or a computer, you should first define a problem, write down your options, and then list the pros and cons for each option. Seeing your thoughts in front of you will also help you stop cycling through them in your head. Once you can't think of anything more to write, your mind has done its job, and it's time to stop thinking. If making a list still doesn't help you make a decision, don't be afraid to follow your intuition. If two or more options seem equally appealing, thinking more will not make things clearer. This is when you should listen to something deeper. Instead of lingering over your most persistent thoughts, jot down all of the things on your mind every day. At the end of one week, go over what you've written and make a note of the things that are troubling you the most. You need to deal with those first. Try to write in your diary at least a few times a week. This will help you get used to the idea of a "thinking time" and will help you sit down with your thoughts, instead of having them trouble you throughout the day. Make a list of all the things you have to do on a certain day. Unless "brooding" is on your list of priorities, this will force you to see that you have more important things to do than to sit around pondering the meaning of the universe! The quickest way to organize your thoughts is to put them into something actionable. If you're thinking that you haven't gotten enough sleep lately, make a plan for getting some Z's pronto instead of worrying about it! The list can be practical and can deal with the bigger things, like: "spend more time with my family." This may sound crazy, but picking a time every day for yourself to worry, wonder, be dreamy, and to get lost in your thoughts can help you control your thoughts in a more productive manner. If you need to, give yourself an hour, say, from 5-6:00 every day. Then, try to get the time down to 5-5:30. If an upsetting thought comes up earlier in the day when it's inconvenient to deal with it, just tell...


Составьте список продуктовых товаров. Примите решение о том, какие продуктовые марки вам просто необходимы для покупки, и которые вы можете заменить другой серией продуктов. Обратите внимание на цены товаров. Создайте список магазинов в вашем районе. Купите папку-регистратор. Принесите свои собственные пакеты. Купите принтер. Как понять терминологию купона.

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Devote 1 section to the products you buy every month and another section to the products you buy every 3 or more months. Usually, the best brand loyalty you have, the more money you will save. If you are on auto-pilot when you go to the store, you may not know what the going rate is for a name-brand and discount-brand package of toilet paper, a jar of pasta sauce or bag of chicken breasts. To get a deal, you must be able to recognize a deal. You will be searching for coupons by store as well as a by-product. Add some stores that you think might be too expensive, in case they give extremely valuable coupons. Small expandable folders are a great way to sort by expiration date. Get a folder that is no larger than 6 x 9 inches (15 by 23cm) so that you don't forget to bring it when you go shopping. Keep a coupon folder for each type of item you want to buy. For example, you can have a coupon folder for grocery shopping that you place in your car and a coupon folder for services, such as oil changes, tax preparations and carpet cleaning that you keep by the computer or phone. Many grocery stores give discounts for bringing your own bag and it's eco-friendly, but you may need to ask for the discount. This is an essential part of online couponing since you can do a good amount of couponing without ever subscribing to a newspaper. A smartphone can also be a helpful tool in modern-day couponing. You can search for an online coupon right in the store, compare prices with those on Amazon using an application called Price Check or send coupons by text message. Double coupons mean that you can double the value of a coupon up to a certain number, and triple coupons mean you can triple it. Look for stores that take and advertise these kinds of coupons. Ask for rain checks. Rain checks allow you to go into the store and get a coupon for the sale price of an item when it is restocked. Some coupons specify "No Rainchecks" so you must get to the store early on in the sale to ensure the coupon will be valid for a purchase. Learn...


Составьте список разумных и выполнимых просьб. Найдите спокойное место для разговора. Объясните родителям, что вы чувствуете из-за их действий. Продолжайте участвовать в разговоре, даже если он станет очень эмоциональным. Продумайте грамотные, реалистичные цели для всех вас. Каждый день ведите диалог с родителями и стремитесь к укреплению взаимного уважения.

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Simply telling your parents, "you are being mean to me," will accomplish very little. You need to have specifics on hand in order to make real change possible. Spend some time asking yourself -- what exactly makes my parents mean? What can we do to change things for the better?  Do not think about this as a list of demands. You don't want your parents to feel like hostages. Think of a reason for each request. Let them know that a nickname they use hurts your feelings, or that you don't have time to clean your room because of homework and sports. Once you have calmed down, you should let your parents know that you need to talk to them about something important. Find a quiet place in your house where you can be alone and a time that works for your schedules, giving yourself at least an hour to talk.  "I was wondering if we could have a talk in the living room alone after dinner." "I have something that I really need to get off my chest." They may not be aware that they are coming off as mean. Telling them how you feel may be enough to make them reflect on their own behavior and find ways to fix it. Be honest, open, and specific, using stories from the past to show them that this isn't just in your imagination.  If you want them to listen, you need to be willing to listen as well. You may be surprised -- your parents may have similar feelings about you. Don't be accusatory or mean to them -- this will put them on the defensive and make them even meaner or angrier. Nod along while they are talking, keep your arms and legs uncrossed, and make eye contact with your parents while they are talking. Using your body language to let them know you are listening will encourage them to talk and make you seem cooperative and calm. Looking engaged will help you seem mature and reasonable.  Don’t sigh or use gestures that show that you are frustrated. Don’t fold your arms or legs-- this makes you appear closed off. Don’t doodle, look down at your hands, or fidget with something while they talk. Give them your full attention....


Составьте список своих долгов. Разработайте план сбережения средств. Выберите экономный образ жизни. Найдите работу. Составьте запасной план. Обратитесь центр занятости населения.

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Take out a piece of paper or open up a spreadsheet on your computer. Write down all of the details regarding your debts. Include information about required payment amounts, due dates, and interest percentages. Update this list often and mark off the debts as you pay them off.  This will also allow you to see which debts need to be paid off first and which ones can come later. For example, it is always a good idea to pay off high interest credit card charges as soon as possible. One entry on your list might look like, “American Express Card, $1,800 balance, 18% percent interest rate, $25 minimum payment per month.” Even without any money at present, it is still a good idea to consider what you will do with cash when you have it. Your goal should be to move away from a lifestyle that involves surviving paycheck to paycheck. This could mean finding a job and moving a certain percentage of pay into a savings account each month. This could also mean spending some time learning about saving on a site such as Learnvest. There are also some handy spending “tricks” that you can learn, such as setting aside the change from your checking transactions using an app, such as Qapital. Make a decision to pursue frugal, but safe, accommodations. If you are moving, select a location that will allow you to live in a thrifty way. Look into the cost of living numbers and consider the benefits of living within a city versus in a rural area, for example. You can also investigate saving money on transportation by forgoing a car. For example, Panama is one location where you can live comfortably for around $300 a month. If do not have a paid position, then look for one by creating a solid resume. It might help for you to list out all of your skills before you begin applying for positions. You could contact a temp agency as well or just browse the job sites on your own. Make sure that you only apply for legitimate work opportunities. You might also consider putting your skills to work by creating a business. Without a financial safety...


Составьте список своих достижений. Преобразуйте свои негативные мысли в позитивные. Прекратите сравнивать себя с другими людьми. Ставьте перед собой реалистичные цели. Заботьтесь о своем физическом здоровье. Делайте то, что вам нравится.

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When your self-esteem is low, you may forget about all of the things you have achieved.  Get a piece of paper and set a timer for 20 minutes. Write down all of your accomplishments. Nothing is too big or too small to be included on your list.  For example, passing a test, finishing a project at school, making the honor roll, or making 1st chair in the band are all accomplishments. You can repeat this exercise anytime you are feeling bad about yourself. The more you listen to the negative thoughts about yourself, the more you will believe them. These thoughts are often not true. Make a list of the negative thoughts you have about yourself and then write a positive statement to refute each thought.  If you think, "I am a failure," refute that by saying, "I am successful at many things." If you write, "Nobody cares about me," refute that by saying, "I have people that care for me." Read the positive statements out loud. Keep the list by your bed. You may need to look at the list daily. It can be easy to look at another person and feel less important, less attractive, or less accomplished. However, you do not really know someone else's life or what it is really like to be them.  The only person you are competing against is yourself.  Make a list of your strengths and weakness. Some of your weaknesses may be things you can work on. For example, one of your weaknesses may be that you are late everywhere you go. Learning to be on time is something that you can definitely improve upon. By focusing on yourself, you will spend less time focusing on other people. Your goals should be small and something that you can actually achieve.  You do not want to set yourself up for failure. Reaching your goals is a process, and you may experience set backs or not achieve as fast as you had planned to. Just keep trying; never give up.  If you have not been exercising at all and your goal is to run a marathon in one month, you would be setting yourself up for failure. A more realistic goal would be to run a 5k in three months and...


Составьте список своих достижений. Ставьте и воплощайте в жизнь краткосрочные цели. Грамотно выбирайте друзей. Следите за своим внешним видом. Проявляйте заботу о себе. Занимайтесь любимым делом.

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Take a moment to reflect on all the good things that you have achieved. Thinking back on these things will boost your self esteem and make you feel more comfortable talking to others. List things like good grades, promotions, awards, and positive reviews from classmates or coworkers. One quick way to build your confidence is to set an easily achieved goal and then complete it. Make it something small like going to the gym after work or studying for an hour after school. If you have confidence from completing small tasks, it will help to boost you up to completing more difficult assignments. Sometimes the worst self esteem killers are the people closest to us.  If you have a friend who belittles, criticizes, or insults you, distance yourself from them.  Answer their calls less and spend less time with them. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and compliment you, instead. If you have a family member who is negative towards you, they can be more difficult to avoid.  Try to ignore them or walk away when they are rude Another quick way to boost your confidence is to make sure you look nice each day. Be sure that you are showered, wearing clean and unwrinkled clothes, and that your hair is neat and tangle free. Keep a small mirror in your bag or a phone with a camera so you can check your appearance before speaking to an intimidating person.  You won’t have to worry about how you look. People who feel better are more likely to exude confidence than those who are tired and out of shape. Get at least 7 hours of sleep per night, exercise at least three times a week, and eat lots of fruits, veggies, and protein. A confident person is often a happy person.  Each day, plan out at least one fun activity for yourself. If you have something fun to look forward to, talking to someone who intimidates you will feel like one minor obstacle in the road. Plan to watch your favorite show, hang out with friends, have some ice cream, or go shopping.


Составьте список своих обязанностей. Соберите всю информацию о занятиях и заданиях. Выберите оптимальное время дня для занятий. Выберите формат. Создайте сетку.

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You need to think about and write down all of your responsibilities so that they can properly be factored into the list. By thinking about all of this in advance, before filling in your timetable, you’ll make the actual creation of your timetable go more smoothly.   You should consider all of your classes, your job, your chores, sports and exercise, and anything else you do on a regular basis during the times you might be studying. Don’t forget people’s birthdays and major holidays. You’re probably not going to think of everything up front, but that’s okay—you can add it in later. This will probably mean getting all of your syllabus together and any assignment sheets for papers or projects, and maybe looking online if there’s a place for your classes there (like Blackboard or another course management system). Spend some time thinking about when you do—or would do—your best studying. Are you morning person or a night person? Thinking about this now will help you do your best to schedule important study time during your peak study hours.   When completing this step, try not to think about your other responsibilities (like your job, etc.); just note your best times as if you had nothing else on your plate. You can make your timetable on a piece of paper or in digital format, such as a spreadsheet or an app on your phone.  Spreadsheet programs, like Microsoft Excel or Apple Numbers, offer obvious solutions. Also, many word processing programs have templates for what you’re trying to achieve.  You might choose an online solution. One well-reviewed program that has an app and web interface is My Study Life. Even if you are online or on your phone frequently, a physical paper timetable might still be best for you. This could be the case if you’re not allowed to be on devices while in class. Both paper and digital study timetables have their advantages. A digital timetable might be easier to setup and make big revisions to, while you can make a lot of little changes to a print timetable that you keep with you. A...


Составьте список своих обязательств и задач. Подумайте о своих приоритетах. Подумайте о своих жилищных условиях. Подумайте, кто зависит от вас. Оцените свою финансовую ситуацию.

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Being a grown-up is not just about having responsibilities; it’s about fulfilling your obligations and promises in a timely manner, too. Think about all the things you are responsible for. Do you accomplish tasks quickly and without being reminded? Some common grown-up responsibilities include:  Taking care of children Caring for elderly parents Paying a mortgage or rent Maintaining a working car Shopping and cooking for a household When you were young, your top priorities may have been to take care of yourself and to have fun. As you mature, your priorities start to revolve around taking care of others in addition to yourself. For example:  You may be more concerned about health, retirement, or your debt. You will plan to be financially stable instead of rich. You will start to save money for your children's education or for insurance costs. You may even have a plan in the event of your death or the death of your spouse. Living independently is often a goal of adulthood. Being able to clean, fix, and manage your own home is a sign that your personal life is in order. Look around your home, and consider the following:  How clean is your home?  Tidiness is often a sign of maturity. You may start washing your dishes immediately after dinner, or you may start to dust once a week. Who do you live with? Living alone may indicate that you are independent. Living with roommates and significant others shows that you can maturely share a space with others. Living with your parents might be a sign that you haven’t quite transitioned into adulthood, or it may mean that you need some time to achieve financial independence.  Who fixes your home? If something breaks, taking care of it yourself is a major sign of responsibility. If the problem is outside of your ability, you should be able to call a professional in a timely manner, instead of waiting until the problem worsens. Being grown-up isn’t just about taking care of yourself. It also involves taking care of others. You may have many people who rely on you for certain...


Составьте список своих основных ценностей. Составьте список обязательных качеств партнера. Научитесь быть довольным собой. Игнорируйте составленные списки.

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If you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, you want to find a partner who shares your fundamental outlook on life. What are your most uncompromising, unchanging beliefs? Some examples might be:  You want a big family vs. you don’t want kids How to raise children Religious beliefs Feelings about marriage and/or divorce How you approach conflicts and problem-solving You’re never going to find anybody who matches your entire partner wish-list perfectly, so you have to be realistic about what the most important characteristics you’re looking for are. Prioritize the things you’re looking for in a relationship and figure out what the five most important elements are. Some examples might be:  Sense of humor Good-looking Shares your taste in music or other hobbies Enjoys/avoids outdoor activities Financial stability Regardless of how great a romantic partner you find, you’ll never be happy in a relationship until you can be happy with yourself. You’ll also have a better idea of what you want and need in a partner if you’re the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, and you’re happy with it. Though it’s good to know what you want in a relationship, don’t close yourself off to potential partners just because they don’t fit with some preconceived idea you wrote down on a piece of paper. Admit that you’re never going to find someone who meets your entire checklist, and just be open to spending time with the people you feel a connection with.


Составьте список своих положительных качеств и думайте о них ежедневно. Не жалейте на себя времени. Празднуйте победы и вознаграждайте себя. Придумайте план для борьбы с плохими мыслями. Сходите на прием к психотерапевту. Ежедневно повторяйте положительные аффирмации. Занимайтесь тем, что доставляет вам удовольствие в физическом, эмоциональном и духовном плане. Поразмышляйте о результате укрепления любви к себе.

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This can be difficult for someone who habitually thinks negatively of themselves, but try to find one positive thing about yourself to add to the list once a week.  At the end of each day, reflect on your entire list.  Make your list very specific.  Instead of using general adjectives to describe yourself, try listing specific actions or attributes that describe who you are and what you do. For example, instead of simply saying "I am generous," you can write "Any time I know that a friend is struggling, I give her a small, thoughtful gift to show that I care.  This makes me generous." As you read and reflect on your list, remember that each item on the list, however insignificant it may seem, is a reason that you are worthy of respect and love. Do not feel guilty for spending time thinking about and reflecting on yourself and your own life.  It is important to give yourself the time and permission for self-love.  You will likely find that by doing so, you are more able to spend quality time helping others. This is the fun part of self-love: rewarding yourself! If you have had a significant accomplishment, celebrate it with a nice dinner at your favorite fancy restaurant. Think of all of the hard work you do every day, and find a reason to reward yourself with something nice.  Buy yourself the new book or video game you’ve had your eye on.  Take a long shower or bubble bath.  Go on a solo fishing trip or get a massage. Notice what tends to throw you off from your current path of self-love, and decide how to deal with those things.  Realize that you cannot control the words and actions of others, but you can control your responses and reactions.  You may notice that negative comments from one particular person, such as your mom or your boss, set you off into a spiral of negativity.  If this happens consistently, try to identify why this is. Decide how you will deal with negative thoughts you do have.  You may need to give yourself a time-out to meditate or breathe.  Acknowledge your feelings and reframe your...


Составьте список своих потребностей. Оцените важность каждой потребности. Составьте список людей, которые могут помочь. Соотнесите людей с конкретными задачами. Помните, просить о помощи правильно и разумно.

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It’s normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you’ll be better prepared to ask for help if you can clearly articulate your needs. For example, maybe you’ve recently had surgery and need a lot of help just getting things done. Your list might look like this:  Go to the grocery store Take the kids to dentist appointments Walk the dog Help with depression Assign a number from 1-10 to each need. A 10 means that this task is essential, a 1 means that it is not that important. This will help you figure out your most pressing needs. You can start with getting help for those, and then work your way down the list. For example, it’s normal to struggle with depression after a surgery. That would be rated a 10, since it can impact your ability to take care of other needs. While it might seem daunting to ask for help, remember that there are likely plenty of people in your life who will be more than happy to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think about other parts of your network. Your list might include:  Your partner Your siblings Your children Your best friend Your neighbors Now it is time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help with each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas about how to cope with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to make sure the kids get to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they would mind picking up a few things at the grocery store the next time they make a run. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship to you. This is called delegating tasks. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially in times when you need extra help. It is important to remember that it is not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to voice your own needs. You won’t be able to do much good for others if you don’t ask for the help you need. It’s also smart to ask for help. If you...


Составьте список своих сильных качеств и достижений. Замените негативные мысли более реалистичными. Примите решение работать над своими недостатками. Проявляйте доброту просто так. Установите надлежащие границы с окружающими.

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Realizing that your self-worth comes from within is an important part of learning not to care what others think. One way to boost your confidence and get a better sense of your self-worth is to list positive characteristics about yourself.  Your strengths could be personality traits (e.g., kindness and patience) or skills that you have (such as being a good cook or a careful driver). Accomplishments might include things like making good grades, finishing a project, or getting a promotion at work. If you’re having a hard time thinking of things to put on the list, ask a supportive friend or relative to help you. You could also take the VIA character strengths survey online to focus on what gives you good character. If you’re used to dwelling on the negative or taking every harsh criticism to heart, it can be hard to retrain yourself to think positively. When you notice your inner voice getting negative, stop and assess those thoughts. Do they really make sense? If not, replace the negative thought with something more neutral and realistic.  For example, if you find yourself thinking, “Everyone is going to hate me at my new school,” instead tell yourself, “Probably not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. Nobody can please everyone. If I make an effort to be kind and friendly, I’ll likely find people I get along with.” Learn to accept the weaknesses you have so you can improve on them. All people have flaws, and that’s okay. Acknowledging your weak areas is an important part of personal growth. If you identify flaws in yourself, look upon them as an opportunity to better yourself, rather than dwelling on what’s “wrong” with you or what others will think. Taking action to improve will help you feel better about yourself and less worried about others’ perceptions of you. For example, if you are out of shape and this bothers you, set some attainable fitness goals, even if they’re small at first. You might start by planning to walk 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. Focusing more on others—rather than...


Составьте список своих сильных качеств. Разберитесь в своей неуверенности. Запишите, какую веру в себя вы хотите обрести. Составьте простой план действий. Ставьте небольшие и измеримые цели.

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This is a simple task that will help you get into a self-positive mindset, which is essential to maintaining confidence. Yes, you have areas that need improving, everybody does, but often, a lack of confidence comes from a lack of self-esteem. Listing the positives in your life can help you get past the minor negatives. Here are some things you could include:  Talents or skills: This doesn't have to be competitive. It only means that you see yourself as talented or skillful in some area, like athletics, art, business, or creativity. Personality traits: Note anything about your personality that you take pride in. For example, you might see yourself as hard working, caring, or imaginative. Accomplishments: These are things you've achieved that you're proud of. Maybe you performed in a concert, spoke in front of an audience, baked a birthday cake, or ran in a race. Frequently, this develops when you don't feel supported or listened to by people in your life. This often begins in early childhood and stems from family interactions. Maybe your parents were overly critical, harsh or punishing. This can prevent the development of self-confidence and create worried, hesitant, and fearful adults who lack a sense of self.  On the other hand, parents who overprotect their children, also do them a disservice by not allowing them to try, fail, try again, and finally succeed. The adult version is afraid to try anything new for fear of failure.  For example, if your parents always criticized your efforts in school, you may grow up believing you aren’t smart or that you can’t possibly succeed in life. You may believe that others think you aren’t smart or hardworking. Or, if your parents never let you go anywhere by yourself as a child, for fear you would get lost or kidnapped, you may have a difficult time as an adult going to unfamiliar places. In truth, failure or getting lost is what helps us learn. Do you want to build confidence in speaking to people? In public speaking? Write down the areas in which you want to build...


Составьте список своих сильных сторон. Выйдите из своей зоны комфорта. Мыслите позитивно. Проводите время с людьми, которые вас ценят. Подумайте о свидании с кем-нибудь.

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Rejection can tank your confidence, so try to find ways to remember how great you are. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you are incredible. Don’t feel shy! No one has to see the list but you.  Your list might include traits like, “good listener,” “artistic,” and “compassionate.“ If you have trouble coming up with traits, ask your best friend or your parents. These people will probably recognize all of your great qualities. Counteract a bruised ego by doing something out of the box. When you try something new, you become aware of hidden talents and abilities. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, just something a little different from your typical activities or hobbies. For example, you might sign up for a Flamenco dancing class, or plan a short trip to a nearby city on your own. The aftermath of rejection may bring lots of negative thoughts. Crowd out the negative by increasing the positive thoughts you have. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. If you can’t think of any, you can find some by doing a quick search online.  Examples of positive affirmations may be “I am good at many things,” “Lots of people love to be around me,” or "I am a lovable person!" Repeat these affirmations each morning after you wake and periodically throughout the day when you feel down on yourself. The best fix for a bruised ego is feeling loved. Make an extra effort to be around all the people in your life who cherish you. Spend more time with your close family by languishing over meals or having a game night. Plan to hang out with your dearest friends, too. You shouldn’t count on others to make you feel good about yourself. Still, it can help to bounce back after a rejection by putting yourself on the market and trying again with someone else. This isn’t the time to get seriously involved with anyone while you’re still nursing your wounds after the rejection. But, it can take your mind off things and be fun to date someone casually.  Go up and talk to the girl who tries to catch your eye at the coffee...


Составьте список своих хороших дел и того, что вам в себе нравится. Начинайте свой день с аффирмаций. Пресекайте негативный внутренний диалог. Относитесь к себе как к другу. Перестаньте сравнивать себя с другими. Простите себе свои ошибки.

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Maybe you think you have lovely hands, or you are good at drawing. Maybe you once bought coffee for the person behind you in line, just to be nice. Focusing on your positive qualities will help you combat your self-criticism.  Nothing is too small--make this list long, and reach as far back into your past as you want. What are some of your best qualities? Are you creative? Helpful? Kind? What have you achieved in your life so far? Have you graduated high school? Did you ace a difficult test? Did you teach yourself a new skill? Read this list often, even when you're not feeling down. An affirmation is something you say to support or encourage someone--in this case, yourself. It may feel silly, and you may not believe it at first, but start and end your day by looking in the mirror and saying your affirmation out loud.  Write your affirmation on a sticky note a post it on your mirror. Or write it on the back of a business card and keep it in your wallet to remind you throughout the day. Some affirmations include: "I love myself," "I like and accept myself as I am," "I believe in myself," "I am worthy of love." When you make a mistake, what goes through your mind? Do you call yourself stupid, or a loser, or say any number of negative things about yourself? The moment you start having those thoughts, you need to stop yourself. Say it out loud or under your breath or in your head: Stop. Even if that means you have to say "stop" every ten seconds.  Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you put yourself down.  Acknowledge the thought, then imagine throwing it in a trash bin or physically getting rid of it in some way.  This won't stop negative thoughts forever, but it will stop you from listening or allowing them to take hold. Think about all the ways you put yourself down, then imagine doing those things to a friend or loved one. Or imagine someone doing or saying those things to your best friend. Would you let them get away with that? Start treating yourself with the same respect and courtesy...


Составьте список своих целей. Продумайте временной план. Выделите время для учебы. Поймите, как вам удобнее учиться. Ищите возможности для самообразования.

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Before you begin devising your learning strategy, it helps to have a clear understanding of exactly what you want to learn and why. If you have a specific goal in mind, such as passing an exam, be sure that you understand what you are required to know. If you are just learning for your own enjoyment, think about things you would like to know.  When you take a traditional class, teachers outline your goals for you. If you want to go at it on your own without losing the structure that you need to succeed, it's a good idea to emulate this. Consider brainstorming a list of questions you want to know the answers to, if this applies to your subject. For example, if you want to be an expert on trains, you may want to know what kinds of trains there are, what is the fastest kind of train, what is the most energy efficient train, etc.  If you can't break your goals down into answerable questions, find another way of quantifying them. For example, if you want to learn to speak Spanish, write down some topics that you would like to be able to converse about. Once you know what you want to learn, you must decide when you want to learn it. Depending on whether you are studying for a specific reason or just for your own enjoyment, you may have different time restraints.  It will help you tackle the monumental task of learning about a new subject if you break it down into small sections. Try setting a goal for yourself to learn each subsection of material by a specific date. If you need some help planning out your timeline for studying different topics, consider consulting a text book on your subject. These are typically broken up into logical sections, which can give you a good idea of what the main topics are, how much time you should spend on each, and what order you should attempt to learn them in, even if you don't end up reading the whole book. The only way to learn something new is to spend some time studying it. If you can't commit the time, you will not learn, no matter what methods you use.  Try to come up with a...


Составьте список своих ценностей и желаний. Узнайте себя. Будьте собой. Держитесь подальше от нездоровых отношений.

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Think about the things you value most and that you want in a healthy relationship. What are the things you will not compromise on? What are things that are less important to you? For example, if you want to have kids, you will want to find a partner who also wants kids. If you practice religion, you will likely want to find someone who will participate with you. When you head into a new relationship, take time to analyze yourself. Know where you're coming from, and understand where you're heading. This is especially important in terms of how you conduct yourself in relationships. If you know yourself to be a jealous person or you are insecure in relationships, then strive to understand why you feel this way. What lessons have you learned from previous relationships that you can apply to the new relationship? In order to find a partner who is a good fit, you need to be yourself. It is not productive or healthy to constantly pretend to be someone you're not. As the relationship progresses, this will become more tiring and dishonest. Be yourself with your potential boyfriend. If he likes you the way you are, then the relationship might just succeed. Toxic relationships are those that impact you negatively. This might be someone who is manipulative, physically or verbally abusive, controlling, jealous, chronically angry, or isolating. These types of unhealthy relationships will not allow you to flourish or be happy, and they will erode your self-respect. A good boyfriend should not make you afraid, tense, or stressed.  Rather, this person should help alleviate these feelings.


Составьте список случаев, когда друг использовал вас или причинил вам вред. Распознайте истинный характер вашей дружбы. Завершите отношения. Старайтесь не чувствовать вину за свое решение.

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Think back over your relationship and try to identify whether there has been a lack of conscience or guilt on your friend's part. To help clear your thoughts, write down the facts and your feelings for each moment when you felt wronged. There may be trends or correlations. For instance, note the time your friend got you both a failing grade by copying off your exam, then blamed you for not making your test easier for them to see. Don't let sorrow or embarrassment cloud what your collected evidence tells you. It's natural to be in denial, as your friend's apparent sociopathy will be hard to swallow. But the sooner you accept the reality of the situation, the sooner you can address it honestly.  You can rightly feel upset if you have been abused and manipulated. But don't feel ashamed — many sociopaths are expert abusers and manipulators and it has nothing to do with you. You are/were a means to an end for them. Your friend may not be a "friend" in the normal sense. It's not entirely clear whether a true sociopath can ever really be a friend — some experts say they can't truly experience emotions like caring, while others disagree. You'll have to work out the unique circumstances of your friend and your friendship. Someone who is a true sociopath will not allow their reputation to be discredited and they will do whatever is possible to protect their reputation. Therefore, it is best to avoid accusing them of things or trying to justify your reason for ending the relationship. Instead, just end it. Sociopaths may become verbally aggressive when their integrity is questioned, so it is best to avoid confrontation. A sociopath may seek to make you feel sorry for them as a means to regain power and maintain their image. If you feel sorry for questioning them, they consider this a victory rather than caring about the reasons for your doubt.


Составьте список способов. Делайте заметки. Пересматривайте свои цели еженедельно.

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There are many ways to educate yourself in order to learn more about the area you are seeking to improve. Informing yourself on the topics you are committed to improving will help keep you up to date on the latest improvements in your field of interest and keep you inspired.  Check your local paper for community educational classes. Go to your local library and source out books and read them. Learn from other people's experiences and knowledge and commit to an online course or seminar that will inspire you. Ask friends that are successful in the area you want to improve in what resources they use. Note taking is an active process, making you an active learner. While taking a seminar, or listening to a motivational CD, write down notes on what you are learning. How does it apply to your goals? Taking notes will keep the information you are learning fresh in your mind and also help you keep track of your progress. Let's be honest, if you don't think about your goals, you won't make them happen. If you aren't doing anything about your goals, they are just wishes. At a set time, perhaps Monday mornings, review your progress for the last week and set new action steps for the upcoming week that push you towards your ultimate goal. Reading your goals weekly helps remind you of their importance and keeps you clear on what you truly want in your life.  Check to see if you are on track with your deadline. Perhaps you need to kick it up a notch and take more small steps to achieve your goal. Make sure you are challenging yourself enough. If the goal is becoming too easy to attain, perhaps you need to make the goal more challenging by adding a new component. For example, "I run two miles a day" instead of "I run a half mile a day." Check to see if you are still inspired by your goals. If not, reorganize them until you feel more enthusiastic.


Составьте список тех вещей, которые вам не нравятся, из-за которых вам некомфортно. Подождите хотя бы день. Поговорите с парнем в тихой, спокойной обстановке. Установите границы. При разговоре с парнем используйте "я-утверждения". Закончить нужно на позитивной ноте.

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Think about what specifically makes you uneasy in this situation. Is it that you feel that your boyfriend is paying more attention to her than to you? Do you wish that your boyfriend would spend less time with his friends and more time with just you? Try to pinpoint what exactly makes you uncomfortable. Here are some examples of specific situations that might make you uneasy:  The girl touches your boyfriend in what you think is an inappropriate way. On weekends, your boyfriend spends more time with her than he does with you. Your boyfriend texts or calls her when you two are spending quality time together. They flirt in front of you. Let your thoughts sit while your jealousy simmers down a little bit. Make sure that the issues you address in your list are really what is bothering you. Look again at your list the next day and revise it. Designate a time to have a conversation just the two of you. Don’t talk to him when you are initially upset. Instead, address the issue when you are both feeling calm and rational. Here are some ways to begin the conversation:  “I’ve been feeling that you’ve been spending more time with her than with me the past couple of weeks, and it’s been making me feel insecure.” “I love that you’re happy with your friendship with her, but the way she interacts with you sometimes makes me uncomfortable.” “I am happy with our relationship, but I think there are ways that I could feel more valued and respected.” Each couple has their own "rule book" — some couples would seeing going to the movies with another girl as highly inappropriate, whereas other couples would consider this and other intimate contact okay. Having an open conversation about what each partner expects is key to guiding acceptable behaviors. Be clear about your needs — your boyfriend may have no idea his friendship or flirtation with this other girl upsets you.  Work on defining these expectations with your boyfriend. You might say something like, "I don't want you to give up your friendships with other girls, but I would...


Составьте список того, какие люди или вещи имеют для вас значение. Определите свои ключевые ценности. Найдите свое призвание. Обозначьте свои цели. Устанавливайте приоритеты.

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When looking for a life plan, it makes sense to prioritize some areas of your life. List all the things that you value in your life. You might list your family, friends, a certain hobby, nature, or career. Take the time to think deeply about the things without which you could not imagine living. For example, while you might like playing basketball, is this one of the most important things in your life? Perhaps it is. If not, it is likely a hobby. You have your own moral compass, which guides you through life. What are the values you want your life to reflect? Do you strive to be honest? Perhaps you want to be caring and considerate towards others. Maybe you have a strong sense of social justice. Defining your values will help you determine your future actions.  For example, if you prize honesty, there are some careers that might not be the best for you. CIA agents, for example, cannot disclose to others what they really do. On the other hand, if you care passionately about social justice, perhaps you could consider studying social work. For additional tips, see Live Life to the Fullest. Every person has his or her own talents and strengths. Aim to live your life in reflection of your unique calling. Finding your calling does not mean following someone else’s path. Instead, seek to define what you do well and how you can live a life that incorporates your strength and perhaps helps other people as well.  For example, you might be a talented teacher and musician. Perhaps your calling is to teach children piano lessons. On the other hand, you might be a great listener and care about helping others. You might be well-suited to be a psychologist. If dinosaur bones excite you to no end, perhaps your calling is paleontology and spreading knowledge about dinosaurs and environmental change to a new generation. By making goals for life, we can live with a purpose. Do know that at any given time, your goals might change. You can adapt your goals as you move through life. If you have some structure, however, your life...


Составьте список того, над чем нужно поработать. Не забывайте про свои сильные стороны. Определите, к какому типу студентов вы относитесь.

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Do you struggle with quadratic equations? Do you get stuck on grammar questions? Think about what you need to improve and set aside more time for it in your study plan. Not only will this help you on that particular subject, it will also help you feel less stressed overall. This may seem counter-intuitive, but while it's good to give attention to weak points, you don't want to lose sight of what you can do well. Devoting all your energy to that elusive perfect score in the writing section can make you forget some of those basic math skills you had under your belt. It's also important to remind yourself that you are an intelligent person with many strengths and beating yourself up over the hard stuff is only going to make you feel stressed-out and incompetent when it comes time to take the test. Some people learn better when they read the problem, others do better when they listen to it. Some people need to visualize it in their heads. Think about how you learn information and apply it to your study program. If you learn best while listening, then listen to some lessons on CD while you drive. If you learn best by looking at the words, then go ahead and make packs of flashcards.


Составьте список того, чего вам не хватает. Займитесь чем-нибудь. Делитесь с другими воспоминаниями о доме. Будьте смелее. Выйдите из своей зоны комфорта.

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It’s very common to miss your loved ones when you’re away from them. Make a list of the people you miss and what they brought to your life. What memories do you cherish? What things did you do together? What aspects of their personalities did you love? Finding new friends who are similar to those you left behind can help you feel emotionally supported. It can also help you adjust to a new place or situation. Look for ways in which your new environment is like what you miss. Research on homesickness has shown that when you can find aspects of the familiar in your new situation, you are less likely to stay homesick because you are focused on something positive. It’s easy to say that you need to make new friends, but actually doing that can be hard in a new place. The best way to develop a strong social support network is to put yourself into situations where you’ll meet new people, especially if you have similar interests. Getting involved with new activities can also help distract you from your feelings of homesickness.  For example, if you’re away at school or college, there are a variety of clubs, sports, activities, and student government bodies you could join. These can help you connect with other people, many of whom are probably experiencing homesickness too! If you’re at a new job or in a new city, it can be hard to make new friends. Research has shown that you may find it harder to make friends after you leave college. Consistency is key: joining a group that meets frequently, such as a book club or workshop, is likely to help you make friends because you’ll see the same people on a regular basis. One of the most important things you can do to fight homesickness is to make new friends. Having a strong support network makes you less likely to have problems coping with homesickness, even if you feel it. Sharing your positive memories about home will help lift your spirits and make you feel more comfortable talking about home.  Have a party where you share your cuisine and customs with new friends or...


Составьте список того, чего вам хотелось бы достичь. Выделите время и место. Прислушайтесь к своему сердцу. Уделяйте этому время каждый день. Найдите увлечения, которые вовлекают в деятельность ваше сердце.

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A "bucket list" can help you figure out which direction your heart wants to go in. Try to set goals that you are likely to be able to accomplish (not "be the first human on Mars"). This list can be a great source of inspiration when you are searching for meaningful events to work toward in your life. If it's truly from the heart, it will reflect some of your deepest interests and aspirations. The first step to getting in touch with your heart in a deeper way is to give your heart the time and space to speak up. It's important to sit still without distractions for your heart to be able to let itself be heard. You may want to create an intentional place where you can go to just sit. If you have an extra room in your house, you can light some candles and create a comfortable environment for this task. Once you've set the right conditions, you can begin to do the work of being mindfully open to your heart. You may want to ask yourself a question, such as "what am I feeling under the surface right now?" Wait a while after you ask the question to see if a response bubbles up from your heart. This kind of practice will help your heart, and your inner desire, express itself.  You can also use a technique called Focusing, which is great for getting in touch with your body. Here's how to do Focusing: Once you've cleared the space and asked what's going on inside you, pay attention to what your body answers with. Don't try to explore it, just notice it from a distance. For instance, you may feel a tightness in your chest when you ask what's going on underneath the surface. Notice it from a distance. Put a handle on the sensation. This is usually in the form of a word or short phrase. For instance, you can say "tightness" or "chest pressure" or "tension." Keep trying words out until it seems to fit the sensation. Go back and forth between the sensation and the word that describes it. Check and see how they interact. See if the body sensation changes a little bit when you have an accurate name for it. Ask yourself what's...


Составьте список того, чего вы хотите. Определитесь со своими финансовыми целями. Решите, на какой риск вы можете пойти. Изучите рынок ценных бумаг. Сформулируйте, чего вы хотите от фондового рынка. Сосредоточьтесь на деталях.

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To set your goals, you’ll need to have an idea of what things or experiences you want to have in your life that require money. For example, what lifestyle do you want to have once you retire? Do you enjoy traveling, nice cars, or fine dining? Do you have only modest needs? Use this list to help you set your goals in the next step.  Making a list will also help if you are saving for your children’s future. For example, do you want to send your children to a private school or college? Do you want to buy them cars? Would you prefer  public schools and using the extra money for something else? Having a clear idea of what you value will help you establish goals for savings and investment. In order to structure an investment plan, you must first understand why you are investing. In other words, where would you like to be financially, and how much do you have to invest to get there? Your goals should be as specific as possible, so that you have the best idea of what you’ll need to do to achieve them.   Popular financial goals include buying a home, paying for your child’s college, amassing a “rainy day” emergency fund, and saving for retirement. Rather than having a general goal such as “own a home,” set a specific goal: “Save $63,000 for a down-payment on a $311,000 house.” (Most home loans require a down payment of between 20% and 25% of the purchase price in order to attract the most affordable interest rate.)   Most investment advisers recommend that you save at least ten times your peak salary for retirement. This will allow you to retire on about 40% of your peak pre-retirement annual income, using the 4% safe withdrawal rule. For example, if you retire at a salary of $80,000, you should strive for at least $800,000 saved by retirement, which will provide you with $32,000 annual income at retirement, then adjusted annually for inflation. Use a college cost calculator to determine how much you will need to save for your children’s college, how much parents are expected to contribute and the various types of...


Составьте список того, чего не стоит делать. Выберите поле боя. Всегда надейтесь на лучшее. Избавьтесь от негатива.

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Knowing what you do and do not want to do is essential to developing confidence and assertiveness. Think about the things you do for others that make you feel used, and write them down. You may be taken advantage of more than you think.  For example, if you always pick up the check, put it in the "to don't" list. Ask your friend to pick it up next time. Organizing information in list form and checking it off hits our information processing sweet spot. This list will be easy to follow and satisfying to fulfill. If the thought of confronting high-pressure situations makes you sick, start small. You may not be able to stand up to your bully right away, but you can make little changes to build your assertiveness. If you ordered a salad but received a soup, send it back. Once you start getting comfortable with asserting yourself in small situations like this, start building up to bigger ones. If you expect you are going to fail, you have already accepted failure. Base your expectations on what you would love to see happen, not what bad thing you are expecting to happen. If you have done all you can to correct the situation, get out of it. Try to remove yourself as much as possible from the person who is trying to take advantage of you. Life is too short for you to put up with someone who disrespects you. Make the brave choice and remove this person from your life. Keeping them in your life will do nothing but maintain the negativity and you will find it harder to grow confident.


Составьте список того, чем вам хотелось бы заниматься на работе в идеальных условиях. Выберите сферу деятельности. Получите необходимый опыт. Составьте резюме, чтобы заявить о своих умениях. Заводите связи и знакомства, чтобы находить потенциальных клиентов и поддерживать с ними отношения. Будьте открыты разным возможностям. Определитесь со специализацией, когда у вас появятся клиенты. Ищите возможности для развития своего дела.

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Freelancing is an opportunity to work on your own schedule. What you get in flexibility you lose in certainty. You may not get the security of steady work and an hourly wage, so you should focus your efforts on a strong skill you have that you enjoy doing.  Write down your work experiences, skills, strengths, and weaknesses to help you figure out what you want in a freelancing gig. As a freelancer, you are responsible for finding and completing all work. You could also work for someone else as an agent or independent contractor. Many different fields are open to independent contractors. Tasks like writing, computer coding, and drawing are often done for commissions, but they aren’t the only opportunities. Explore your options to find something you can do without becoming a paid employee for a company. Try asking around your area to find services that are needed but not currently available. For example, you may be able to consult businesses on how to advertise or serve as a promotional agent for artists. You may have identified an interesting job but don’t feel like you have the proper qualifications to succeed. A lot of education comes from hands-on experience, but you should also look for outside help. This can mean doing research at your local library, attending classes at a school in your area, or finding a mentor who has experience in the field you want to be a part of. For instance, if you want to be a freelance writer but have no experience in publications, you can benefit from taking a few writing courses and getting a few articles into local publications. Qualifications speak to your potential to produce great work. Most people will check to see what makes you a good hire. You should list your successful work experiences and have them available, whether you meet with clients directly or seek them online.  For example, your resume should list major work experiences and awards related to your work, such as that article you got into Quilters Monthly. An alternative to a resume is having a portfolio of...


Составьте список того, что вам потребуется. Подготовьте древесину. Следуйте пословице “семь раз отмерь, один раз отрежь”. Соблюдайте правила безопасности. Обработайте древесину, чтобы продлить срок службы рампы.

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Use your blueprint as a guide for what tools are needed. Consult your local hardware store in case they have better alternatives. For example, certain types of wood may provide a better surface for skateboarding but may not hold up well to the autumn rain.  Purchase screws and wood at any hardware store. Ensuring the length and type are best suited for your measurements and plans. Consider renting, borrowing, or using your own power tools to reduce time. For example, a power drill with assorted bits would be helpful but not necessary if you just want to use a regular screwdriver. Likewise, a jigsaw would also reduce time if you are cutting any wood down. If you choose steel plating in conjunction with wood or instead of it, you’ll need to find a local steel fabricator or scrap metal centre in your area. This may be difficult to find in your area, so start your design and customization around what steel is available to you. Stick to a budget especially if this is your first build. A beginner ramp commonly costs approximately $200 to build after all building materials are purchased but this can easily sky rocket if you factor in power tools, customization, or top-of-the-line materials. While some stores will cut it for you, be prepared to shape your wood to your specifications yourself. Getting a professional will save you time and the hassle of working with power tools so weigh that possibility into your overall budget to help manage your expectations. Use pressure treated wood. This material is chemically treated for protection against the growth of mould and is fairly waterproof. Consult the retailer for all possible alternatives. Pressure treated wood comes in two colors: a copper green-ish tinge and a natural tone. The only difference is the preservative so choose whatever looks best to you. Before cutting or shaping anything, remember the old adage.  If you’re unsure, do a faux set-up by drawing it out because it’s better to make the mistake on paper rather than ruin your project and start over. Don’t be...


Составьте список того, что входит в круг ваших интересов. Обратите внимание, как вы проводите свое свободное время. Обращайте внимание на то, о чем вы думаете, когда засыпаете. Обратите внимание, что вызывает у вас интерес. Выясните, что затрагивает струны вашего сердца.

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Maybe it has been so long since you've really cared about something that it feels like you've lost the ability. But no matter how deep your feelings of caring are buried, they're in there somewhere, and it's time to uncover them. To care is to "feel concern or interest; attach importance to something," to "feel affection or liking." By that definition, who and what do you care about? Make a list of anything that causes you to feel interest, concern, or attachment of any kind.  Write down the names of people you feel attachment to—parents, siblings, friends, and anyone else who has a pull on your heart. If you think about the person often, and you'd miss them if they weren't there, you probably care about them. You don't have to love or even like them to care. By the same measure, write down things besides people you care about. Don't write down the things you should care about, just the things you actually do. Maybe your life is better because you play soccer, or you can't imagine a world without Warcraft. Maybe you care about poetry, or you love a certain movie star. There's no limit to how long your list can be—write it all down, big and small. Be honest with yourself as you make your list, and don't leave anything out. Maybe you've been conditioned to act like you're "above it all," or to hide the things that make you tick. People will try to tell you what you should and shouldn't care about, but you'll have to learn to ignore them for the sake of your own happiness. And in most cases, sticking to your guns and expressing that you care will eventually win you others' admiration. Still aren't sure what matters to you? Take a look at what you do with your time once all your obligations have been fulfilled. When your homework is complete, the workday is over and the chores are done, what do you usually do? The way you spend your free time can be quite telling. You probably use it to do something you care about.  Do you spend your free time calling someone for a long chat, texting your friends, or writing...


Составьте список того, что вы боитесь больше всего. К вашим страхам добавьте элемент «что если». Создайте атмосферу страха. Возьмите обычную ситуацию и превратите ее в нечто ужасное. Ищите сюжет истории в новостях.

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The premise of the story is the underlying idea that drives your story. It is the foundation for the characters’ motivations, the setting, and the action.  One of the best ways to come up with a premise for a scary story is to think about what scares you or revolts you the most. Tap into your fears of losing family members, of being alone, of violence, of clowns, of demons, or even of killer squirrels. Your fear will then come across on the page and your experience or exploration of this fear will also grip the reader. Focus on creating a story that feels personally terrifying to you. The fear of the unknown is one of the most powerful devices for a good scary story. People fear what they don’t know. Think about different scenarios in which you might experience some of your greatest fears. Think too about how you would react if you were trapped or forced to confront these fears. Make a list of “what if” questions. For example, if you fear being trapped in an elevator, ask yourself, “What if I was stuck in an elevator with a dead person?” Or, “What if the elevator mirror was a door into an evil world?” Use the setting to limit or trap your characters in the story. Restrict your character’s movements so he is forced to confront his fear and then try to find a way out. Think about what kind of confined spaces scare you, such as a cellar, a coffin, or an abandoned town. Where you would you dread or fear being trapped in the most? Make sure to keep the climax of your story in mind as you develop the setting. Look at a normal, everyday situation like taking a walk in the park, preparing lunch, or visiting a friend. Then, add a terrifying or bizarre element. You could come across a severed ear during your walk, cut up a piece of fruit that turns into a finger or a tentacle. Or, add a twist to a familiar horror trope, like a vampire who enjoys cake instead of blood, or a man trapped in a dumpster rather than a coffin. Check out the local section of your newspaper or go online and scroll through the day’s articles....


Составьте список того, что вы хотите сделать до смерти. Разбейте все пункты по категориям. Старайтесь выполнять как минимум один пункт из списка каждый месяц.

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A bucket list has become a popular way to put on paper all the exciting, challenging, or fun things that you hope to do before you die (or "kick the bucket," hence the name). Creating such a list, and then actually doing the things on your list, can add variety to your life.  Your list should contain at least a hundred things, so get to writing! Also don't be afraid to add new things to the bottom of the list as you think of them over the next few weeks, months, and years. Be sure to list both big and small things-- not just expensive or dangerous things like visiting Russia or skydiving, but also those littler things you always wanted to try but just haven't yet-- like trying that little restaurant downtown, singing in the rain, or getting a facial or pedicure. Remember to set some goals that will be hard, and others that are easily attainable; otherwise you might get discouraged. Be sure your list includes things that are free or cheap as well as things that cost money. If you're at a loss, search the internet for ideas-- there are thousands of things you could include! Include places to visit, things to see, experiences to have, achievements you like to make, people you'd like to meet, things you'd like to experience with a friend or loved one, skills you'd like to learn, goals you'd like to meet (such as health, financial, or personal), things you'd like to say (perhaps to specific people) and people you'd like to thank. First create categories that make sense for the things on your list, then put everything on the list into a group.  Make categories for expensive things, relatively affordable things, affordable things, and cheap or free things (depending on your budget, these will vary; but one idea is a column for things that are $1000 or more, things that are $500-$1000, things that are $100-$500, and things that are less than $100). Make categories for things that can be done spontaneously (like trying a new restaurant in town) versus things that require advance planning (like a trip to Greece). If...