O-170 A blessing or a curse? A bit of both
Authors: Turković Gulin K 
Published: June 2022

Abstract
My name is Katarina Turković Gulin, now I am 46 years old, and I have 11 IVF procedures behind. I will go back to the beginning, when my husband and I first thought we would need help. We got married and we did not plan to have children right away, there seemed to be time. When we decided it was time, the pregnancy was by no means able to happen. I will not lie. We could and should have sought help earlier. We both studied, we struggled with resolving the housing issue, waited for permanent or at least safer employment, and all of that delayed the start of our medical treatment. All off this influenced by the opinion of my gynecologist in primary health care, who for years assured us that everything was fine, that we were young, that, there was time. Mistake!
After years of trying without any results, in 2010 we resolutely set out to seek help. We lost another year in cycle monitoring and targeted intercourse, and when there were no results, we insisted that doctor send us to human reproduction specialists. The first findings pointed to the problem of male infertility. We both graduated from medical school and were able to understand what was going on, what that diagnosis meant, and what the treatment options were. I think, one of the problems that most patients face it in their treatments is the inability to understand the words of medical specialist. We have been fortunate to have our medical education help us understand everything that is happening to us and around us. I have had the opportunity to connect with many couples who are going through IVF and provide support through various groups. Many of them are looking for additional information and it is difficult to understand something so professionally said, all those professional terms and names.
We started the treatment in our city, but already at the first conversation with medical specialist, we learned how unsuccessful the clinic was, how bad the conditions and materials used were, how outdated methods they use.Many methods and procedures that we could read about were not available in Croatia. Especially in the field of diagnostics. Something in that field is changing today, but slowly, insufficiently. At that time, the percentage of success of the clinic was barely 3%, so all of this rejected us. We set out to seek help further. I was a full 35 and we knew there was no time for waiting. We were by experts in the Netherlands, Slovenia and Italy. In Maribor we met a top expert, who received and treated us in Zagreb, in a private clinic he cooperated. Already in the first procedure, we succeeded. The first positive home test, the first positive beta hCG! But it didn’t take long. In the 8th week of pregnancy, we lost the battle.In that period we tried to look for answers, we asked for additional tests. Then tried again, at the private clinic of a doctor who is a pioneer of IVF in this area. We followed the condition through several cycles, it seemed like everything was still working even though I was approaching 43 at the time. The approach was a bit different, better preparation, better diagnostics. After 11 IVF procedures, we stopped.
At some point, it is important to stop and say enough. Then, in that moment, it is a blessing to know that we have done everything possible. Only in that way can calmly accept this ‘’failure’’ and continue to live happily with what we have instead of despairing over what we does not have.