Writing and falling through the cracks
Authors: Lilley Kirsty 
Published: December 2023

Purpose
The purpose of this paper is to explore the many ways in which those who have experienced early life adversity and trauma can continue to be failed within health-care settings and other organisations. The author explores the impact that repeated exposure to indifference and a lack of help and support has on the ability to recover and rebuild a meaningful life. The author takes the reader through a journey of various autoethnographic vignettes to explore the living experience of continuing to be unseen. The author hopes to contribute to improving the lives of service users.

Design/methodology/approach
The author has written about the many ways in which distressing experiences and mental health difficulties were left unsupported by various professionals and organisations. The writing is rich and evocative and gives voice to the distress experienced from a lack of caring attention.

Findings
The author concludes that whilst it has been painful to remember the varied ways people with lived experience of early life trauma continue to be failed it has also been cathartic and helpful. It is noted that the writing of these events brings some perspective and enables the author to limit the potential for self-blame which is a regular feature of the psychology of those living with early-life relational trauma. The writing of these events serves to highlight the ways institutions might improve responses to those seeking support. The author concludes that this is a meaningful way to use such harmful experiences.

Research limitations/implications
The author concludes that recovery and the ability to rebuild a meaningful life after early-life trauma is often hindered and denied by the responses received when seeking support from various institutions and people who may be able to intervene to prevent further harm occurring. These testimonies may contribute to the wider learnings about the impacts and lived experience of early life trauma and how institutions might support and encourage recovery. The author notes the helpfulness of writing about these experiences to bring perspective and remind those who seek help that it is a great act of courage despite unhelpful responses.

Practical implications
The author has found that writing about these experiences helps to soothe any feelings of self-blame in terms of being unable to recover sooner from early life trauma and that recovery and moving forward must be positioned as a social phenomenon and not a solely individual pursuit. It is noted that writing about difficult experiences can be cathartic and bring fresh perspective and hope. Contributing to ongoing research in terms of how helping professionals can respond wisely is satisfying and meaningful for the author.

Originality/value
This is the author’s firsthand and unique testimony of how easy it can be for survivors of trauma to continue to be unseen and failed. The author also shows that there are many opportunities to support and help which are inadvertently missed which contributes to ongoing distress. The author hopes that the courage taken to write of these experiences will contribute to learnings within many professions and organisations of how to notice, support and help those in distress and living with the effects of early life trauma. The author has found the writing of this paper to be meaningful. The process has helped the author to make sense of previously distressing events. It is hoped it will be of value to the reader.