The Life We're Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World
Authors: Crouch Andy 
Published: February 2023

THE LIFE WE'RE LOOKING FOR: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World by Andy Crouch. New York: Convergent Books, 2022. 226 pages, including notes. Hardcover; $25.00. ISBN: 9780593237342. *In The Life We're Looking For, subtitled Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World, author Andy Crouch examines modern Western life given the ubiquity of and our dependence on technology. This is not a book about technology--you will not learn anything new about the Internet, your cellphone, or AI. Instead, you will be asked to examine life in this modern age rife with loneliness, how we got here, and what we can do about it. *The book is divided into three sections: six chapters identifying the problems of the modern age, a one-chapter "intermission," and five chapters identifying solutions to the problems. The problems of this world can be summarized by the subtitles of the first six chapters: "The Loneliness of a Personalized World," "What We've Forgotten about Being a Person," "How We Trade Personhood for Effortless Power," "The Ancient Roots of Our Tech Obsession," "How Impersonal Power Rules Our World," and "Why the Next Tech Revolution Will Succeed--and Also Fail." *One of Crouch's major themes is that our modern conveniences promise us superpowers. This sounds like a good thing, but in reality it is not. Cars, trains, and planes allow us to move great distances quickly with little effort. Our cell phones give us the ability to translate languages, access vast amounts of information, and communicate almost instantaneously with people around the world. Even our household devices allow us to clean our house without any effort. How these devices work is, for most of us, indistinguishable from magic. Yet, having these abilities leaves us without the need for relationships, and without the need for long-term investment in a project or craft--such as learning a foreign language or learning to play an instrument. We lack the need (and ability?) to love with our full heart, soul, mind, and strength. We are allowed to skim across the surface of life instead of diving deep into it. *Another major theme of the book is Crouch's definition of Mammon. In Matthew 6:24, Jesus says, "You cannot serve both God and Mammon." Crouch expands Mammon from a concept to a being. Mammon is the demonic creature that rules the world. "… What [Mammon] wants, above all, is to separate power from relationship, abundance from dependence, and being from personhood" (p. 76). Mammon and money are closely related, for money makes possible "the ability to get things done, often by means of other persons, without the entanglements of friendship" (p. 72). Crouch then ties in technology: "What technology wants is really what Mammon wants: a world of context-free, responsibility-free, dependence-free power measured out in fungible, storable units of value" (p. 78). *In the "intermission" chapter, Crouch takes us to the table of Gaius, in Corinth, in the second century AD. Around the table are seated wealthy and powerful men, scribes, slaves, and women, and, notably, Paul the apostle. These people share a meal together as equals. They pray and sing together. This is radically counter-cultural. Their actions acknowledge that all people are recognized as persons--image bearers of God. *To solve the problems highlighted in the first part of the book, the author proposes that we need to influence the world, not impact it. "Impact" implies applying a great force for a short period of time. "Influence" implies relationship, patience, and a slower pace. We should seek to use and create technology as an instrument that enhances personhood, does not promise short-term, instant gratification, and elevates and dignifies personhood. *Crouch identifies the promises made by technology: (1) "Now you'll be able to …," and (2) "You'll no longer have to …" (p. 139). He encourages us to think carefully about what these promises are and how true they are. He then identifies the negative consequences of adopting a given technology: (3) "You'll no longer be able to …," and (4) "Now you'll have to …" He then illustrates these promises and consequences with music, available ubiquitously now due to smartphones and the internet, and listened to on earbuds or headphones: (1) Now you'll be able to listen to anything, anywhere. (2) You'll no longer have to listen to others' music in a shared space. (3) You'll no longer be able to make time to practice an instrument so that you can make your own music. (4) Now you'll have to keep upgrading your phone/device/provider so you can get all the best music (p. 140). *To address the epidemic of loneliness, Crouch proposes we should all live in "households". Households are not just families, which may live thousands of miles apart. Households are groups of people sharing life together in community--living, eating, "doing life" together. A household means knowing where each person is and how each person is feeling that day. Crouch goes further, suggesting that we should stop seeking the "blessed" life, which he renames the "charmed" life, free from suffering and burden. Instead, we should include in our communities the "unuseful" person--the person who cannot contribute as much to the financial support of the community, due to age, (dis)ability, or health. To do so will change our hearts from desiring a charmed life to desiring to be a blessing. Moreover, it will radically acknowledge the full personhood of these others. *Andy Crouch gives compelling evidence for what he sees is wrong with life in Western society today. The book is full of wise observations--I have highlighted a sentence or two, if not a full paragraph, on most pages. I found his advice for positively influencing our world to be compelling and practical. His "treatment plan" for addressing loneliness was the most challenging for me. As an introvert, I like and need alone time. I'm not sure I could live under one roof with many other unrelated people. Still, the idea is noble, if perhaps impractical for many people. *I highly recommend this book. It is an easy read, and, more importantly, it will make you think. *Reviewed by Victor Norman, Associate Professor of Computer Science, Calvin University, Grand Rapids, MI 49546.