SEPARATION ANXIETY AND DE FACTO DENIAL OF VISITATION
Authors: Glassman Joel B. 
Published: July 2010

The dynamics of separation anxiety and its potential impact upon restriction of legal visitation in preschool age children is discussed. The interplay between adult personality characteristics and the child's developmental level is inextricably intertwined to generate separation fears. This interplay is presented within a theoretical framework of interaction. Unfortunately, the child's reactions to separation are frequently misinterpreted by the parents as indications of some mistreatment by the former spouse. Although adjustment difficulties in preschool age children coping with divorce are likely, the pattern of disturbance associated with separation anxiety is predictable and occurs almost exclusively with temporary removal from the primary parent. Behavioral health and legal professionals are cautioned against allowing such behavioral disturbance to be utilized by combative parents to deny, restrict or abridge scheduled visitations with the nonresidential parent.

Requests for private custody evaluations have increased dramatically in the past decade. Behavioral health professionals often find themselves being jointly stipulated to by disagreeing parties, or directly appointed by the court, to help formulate a residential plan to meet “the best interests of the children” affected.

When assessing divorcing families with young children, varied adjustment patterns are observed. However, as Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) discovered, almost all children are adversely affected by the family rupture, at least on a short‐term basis. Surprisingly less than 10 percent of the children experienced relief following the parental decision to divorce, despite the degree of explosiveness which may have characterized the dysfunctional marital relationship. Further, the particular response style exhibited by the children was primarily dependent upon the developmental and emotional level the child attained prior to the time of divorce.

While positive adjustment has been correlated with an absence of feuding or animosity between the divorcing parents (McKinnon & Wallerstein, 1986), preschool children seem quite vulnerable to adjustment difficulties. Evidence has also begun to accumulate to suggest that divorce has a more serious impact upon boys than girls (Hetherington, 1979).

Problems frequently surface during times of exchange, particularly when parents are actively engaged in battle. At its worst, these extreme maladjustments may resemble what appears to be a separation anxiety. Again, the Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) studies reported that preschool age youngsters displayed fright, exhibited regressions, confusion, increased aggression, maintained disruptive fantasies, and experienced guilt. While most of these symptoms remit within a year to a year and a half following divorce, continued bickering and conflict between the parents either prevents resolution, or may even exacerbate, these symptoms later.

The purpose of this paper is to discuss the phenomenon of separation anxiety in greater detail, and to provide professionals aiding divorcing families with preschool age children sufficient information to recognize and understand these problems. Hopefully, this knowledge will facilitate those entrusted with making custodial‐visitation recommendations, the confidence to follow through with agreed visitation plans despite what at first may appear to be discomfort to the child.