num_pages: 166
description: One hundred years from today, each of us, at best, will be a photograph, perhaps a name on a grave marker, or a mention in some obscure family history. Until then, why not be happy, while the chance to do so is still ours. Accepting the fact that we are going to die generates an acute awareness of the need to live in the present, says Margo Drummond in her book Blessings of Being Mortal. The realization that time will not return allows us to avoid regrets over an irretrievable past and longing for an uncertain future. Blessings of Being Mortal offers any thoughtful individual the opportunity to consider his or her feelings about issues of mortality. It is written to foster personal reflection on the belief that a mature understanding of death frees us to live wisely and well. Our own human mortality is clearly the most difficult and inescapable fact of life with which we struggle. In our guts, we know that we are no less than mortal. Such certitude creates conflict within us and that conflict has an impact on the quality of our lives. Rather than confronting our certain fate, human beings more often choose to deny it. We attempt to distance death by deluding ourselves into believing that, if not youth and beauty, then surely power and possessions can somehow insulate us from "non-being." Failing that, there must exist some technological wonder to rescue us. Ironically, technological wonders may rob us of final choice or control over how we die, exacting the ultimate price for our denial. If stricken with a terminal illness, most of us feel certain that we would know what we would and would not want in terms of treatment, care and end-of-life measures. While the prospect of pain and suffering may terrify us, we assume that somehow we will be allowed to die with dignity. Yet an ongoing dialogue about such quandaries seldom takes place. If the so-called "good death" is what we seek, we must first determine what that means for us personally and then take measures to facilitate the likelihood of its occurring. And, following death, do we care not at all, only slightly, or in a profound way about issues of autopsy, embalming, visitation, the funeral/memorial service, and how our remains are treated? There are a myriad of choices to consider, including the customs of other cultures. By comparing and contrasting such traditions and outlooks with those of our own, we gain focus over what makes sense personally regarding how to live and how to die. Insight and inspiration on human death are uniquely individual. Cemeteries may act as one source, providing a tangible setting for reflection upon that most intangible of human the need to revisit the dead. Maintaining that link between the living and the dead is an important part of the process of grieving; is an attempt to lessen the impact of being without a presence on which we have so relied. Described as the most difficult emotional work we are ever asked to do, grieving affects every aspect of our well-being. However enveloping, the impact of grief can be lessened by seeing to it that relationships for which we may one day grieve remain as free as possible of "might-have-beens." Integrating the realities of death into an awareness of what it means to be alive ends in a logical that life is a gift soon taken from us.
language: English
title: Blessings of Being Mortal: How a Mature Understanding of Death Can Free Us to Live Wisely and Well
titlecomplete: Blessings of Being Mortal: How a Mature Understanding of Death Can Free Us to Live Wisely and Well
ratings_count: 3
publisher: North Star Pubns