num_pages: 212
description:  DID YOU KNOW: Murdered by Sir Lancelot was the number one cause of death of Knights of the Round Table? King Arthur ordered Guinevere burned at the stake on three separate occasions? When Sir Gawaine died up in heaven he was attended by the ghosts of all the mothers of his many illegitimate children? Sir Mordreds ascension came with a groundswell of popular support because peasants were stupid idiots who didn't deserve Arthur? If you did know all those things clearly youve read Le Morte dArthur by Sir Thomas Malory and I pity you. No one should have to slog through that pile of continuity errors and insipid descriptions of jousts. Ive spent years of my life poring over all twenty-one Books of this foundational work of fantasy literature dreadful as it is. Here for your amusement and edification I recount dissect and ruthlessly mock each ridiculous plot contrivance each self-contradictory anecdote and each unnamed damsel who runs in from offscreen and dies. Arthur Dies at the End volume 5: Guinevere Best Nun Ever covers he grand finale of Le Morte dArthur Books XVIII through XXI. Marvel as Sir Gawaine pulls a face turn/! Be astonished as King Arthur spends chapters and chapters sobbing! Sympathize as Sir Lancelot regretfully starts a civil war! Mordred Arthur and Lancelot are all locked in a fight for control of Guinevere (and the country); Im not telling you how it ends but maybe if youve been paying attention you can make a few guesses! ARTHUR DIES AT THE END: I read Le Morte dArthur so you dont have to! 
language: English
title: Guinevere, Best Nun Ever
publisher: None