num_pages: 256
description: This is the true story of a woman writer and college professor who finally traces chronic difficulties in her love-life to early sexual abuse. With only journal entries, nightmares, and recovered memories to go on, she relentlessly pursues the truth of her past, no matter how painful it becomes. Despite encounters with those who disparage the value of recovered memories, depite her own tendency to dismiss what she finds too hard to face, she finds a trusted therapist, and goes through the healing process, freeing herself from the dreams, nightmares, and contortions of the unexamined past. As she pursues clues to her history, the life of a dynamic woman unfolds before us; a country girl from a troubled family, before todays equality laws, works her way step by step through a college education to become a successful professor and writer. Only when she goes back and faces the buried past, however, can she find the fulfilling personal life that she longs for. A f! ascinating life story as well as a testament to the value and truth of recovered memories at a time when the popular culture dismisses them.  In The Laid Daughter, we see for ourselves how early abuse of men or women is not simply forgotten, but can divide people against themselves, sometimes even creating the so-called split personality, multiple personality, or in psychological language, post traumatic stress disorder or dissociative disorder.  However, this book is not a downer. It is a psychological who-done-it, a page turner as we wonder whether Helen will find the missing pieces to the puzzle of her life and free herself to enjoy healthy relationships with men. (At one point, she finally gives in to a good marriage then runs away from it a few weeks later!) It is also fun to read the stories this gifted writer examines while she looks for clues to her past. Even the healthiest and most sceptical of us will identify with the challenges she faced in her time: In her twenties, finding the strength to leave an abusive marriage when she has 2 children, nowhere to go and no job training. In her thirties, finding time to go to college while working, being a model wife, and raising a family. In her 40's, serving in Africa in the Peace Corps, getting her first teaching job in Texas, facing administrators that give only lip service to Title IX laws, meeting Gloria Steinem, leading demonstrations against an all-m! ale faculty and adminstration. In her fifties, running a nationally recognized program to educate and place Native Americans in computer jobs, then finishing her Ph.D and landing her first job as a University Professor. All the while, writing her stories, keeping journals, and dealing with an exciting but always frustrating love life with a string of fascinating men: a newspaper editor who may or may not have killed his wife, a suave engineer for whom she is a trophy, a handsome young marine biologist, a mountaineer, a former cowboy. On a broader scale, she discloses the size of a national problem. In a chapter called American Auschwitz, she gives us the statistics, great numbers of people who have undergone early childhood abuse. She takes us with her to a VOICES conference, where she and hundreds of Survivors share their stories, banding together in healing workshops. In a chapter called Leda's Daughter, she goes further back, to trace the cultural acceptance of abuse reflected in war stories, like those from Viet Nam, in ancient legends such as Homer's Illiad, in poetry, such as Leda and the Swan, and in the literature of nearly every religion.  In the chapter Sneaky Snake meets the Bitch Queen, we get a glimpse of how successful therapy works. We meet the insightful Glenda, who carefully and respectfully guides Bonner through the dark caverns of her past. Glenda's respect for her client is possibly the element most responsible for the therapy's success. We also get to enjoy some fine short stories included as "clues" to her past. We follow the evolution of a writer, from her first stories published in True Confessions, to literary prizewinners like Roadside Trinity. It begins: "When Mary first came I was pumping gas, not usually girl's work but patriotic with a war on. In my photo album, the one I decorated with a wood-burning set, I look long and gawky in denims and tee shirt, pointy breats like dredged hills, first permanent exploding like the sun around a solemn face. I liked pumping gas, liked the smooth round handle in my palm, liked watching the gas surge into the glass, heavy red liquid flowing deeper with each long stroke of the handle." Then Mary drives up in her old ford truck and.... you'll have to read it for yourself.
language: English
title: The Laid Daughter: A True Story
titlecomplete: The Laid Daughter: A True Story
ratings_count: 10
publisher: Kairos Center