num_pages: 281
description: In 1985 at the age of 38 Martha Miller is at a decisive moment in her life. Newly sober she realizes her marriage is coming apart. Addictions had just been masking a deeper issuedenial of her sexuality. Coming to terms with her attraction to women she meets Suzie a vibrant and fully out lesbian at an AA meeting. Within months Millers husband moves out and Suzie moves in with Miller and her two sons. But where she expects to finally gain some contentment and live in peace she discovers only more upheaval. Suzie has an unhappy past of her own and her dark moods will affect the family in devastating ways. Over the course of four years with Suzie as her live-in lover and guide Miller will begin her writing career gain a sense of self-acceptance and find a community and culture as a lesbian. But her love for Suzie comes at a deep personal cost. In this memoir Miller explores the family dynamics and childhood experiences that led her to become mired in abusive relationships as an adult. She examines her life with Suzie where she is a woman on the verge beginning to find her voice and come to terms with who she really is. She recognizes that her relationship with Suzie is poisoning her and childrens lives yet she agonizes over ending it. Who is she without Suzie? As Miller struggles to assert herself Suzie pushes back. Finally Miller will endure a terrifying violation that will allow her to break free of Suzies addictive hold. This is a groundbreaking work that unflinchingly addresses the rarely acknowledged subject of abuse in lesbian relationships. I thought that being with a woman would be difficult considering other peoples ideas about homosexuality but I also thought that living with and loving a woman would be utopia. That was my biggest disappointment.  Martha
language: None
title: Four Years, A Memoir
publisher: Regal Crest Enterprises