Special Hearings — Women's Hearings — 1997-07-28

THANDI SHEZI: I was participating in the struggle.  I was in the ANC Youth League and I was also involved in WETRO, which was the Women's League.
 In September the police arrived at about one am, but before they arrived I told my mother that I think, I've got a feeling that today something is going to happen, I think police are coming to arrest me, because other comrades had informed me that your name was on the list of the special branch.
 My mother said you must run away.  I said, no, if I run away, they're going to beat all of you here in the house and even the children.  I don't want you to get hurt.  And they came and arrived at me.  There were lots of cars.  It was as if they're coming to fetch the president.  They kicked the doors and they beat up everybody in the house and they said, where are the guns, because I'm always with terrorists I'm also a traitoress and they also want guns.
 They didn't get any guns.  They beat me up until my mother pleaded with them that please, if you want to kill her, take her away from here and kill her away from me.  Just come and show me her corpse.
 So they took me away.  We drove all around Soweto whilst they were picking up other people.  When we arrived at this police station, I can't even remember whether it was John Vorster or Alexandra. When we arrived there I had already been heavily beaten.  I'd been assaulted and even the clothes that I was wearing, they were torn. I was almost naked at that stage.
 They sat me down and they phoned others. They said, today we found the terrorist.  There was also a person who was there by the name of Sam. They said he's and Askari and Sam said it is better to - you must - you had better tell them where are the guns, or else you won't live long. I said to them, I'm not in a position to tell them, because I don't know anything about guns, and then they arrested me.  They handcuffed me behind my back and they also chained my feet and they beat me up for about 20 or 30 minutes.
 They realised that I wasn't talking.  Then they unchained me, they unchained my legs and Sam took the white sack and put it on my head and then he tied it at the back.

CHAIRPERSON: Please take your time, Thandi.

MS SEROKE: You can drink water if you think it's going to be better.

THANDI SHEZI: After that he took me away and I still had the sack on my face.  He took me to another room. I don't know where this room was, but it was a dark room.  When they arrived there, there were two policemen there.  The one was Van Heerden, but I can't remember the other one.  They said do I know Silver and I said, no, I don't.
 They asked me where did I train, I said, no, I'm not trained.  And they poured cold water on me, they poured acid on this water that they were pouring on me and that acid got into my eye and today I can't see properly in the other eye.
 After that, they took some things like Maglite(?) and they put this on my body and they used this electrodes to choke me and today I still have scars.
 They  choked me until I bit my tongue, because I was trying to breathe with my mouth, because my nostrils weres closed by the sack.  They choked me until I bit my tongue and my tongue got torn.
 They left me at the stage when I told them that I'm a member of IFP, I don't know anything about ANC. They spoke among themselves for a while. After that, they took me to another room. In that room they just shoved me inside the floor of that room and then they were discussing what they're going to do with me.
 And one of them, one of them said, we must just humiliate her and show her that this ANC can't do anything for her; if we do this humiliation act on her, she will speak the truth.
 Then the four of them started raping me, the four of them. The whole four of them started raping me whilst they were insulting me and using vulgar words and said I must tell them the truth. They said if I don't tell them the truth about where the guns are and where is this other person they're looking for, they will do their utmost worst.
 But after they finished raping me, they took me to Sunset Prison, Diepkloof Prison.  At Sunset prison they refused to accept me, because I'd been very much assaulted and injured.  So they took me to the doctor.
 The way I had been assaulted and had been injured, I couldn't speak for myself, I couldn't talk.  When the doctor asked me what had happened, I couldn't even explain to the doctor what has happened to me, because my tongue was swollen in my mouth.  I couldn't speak.
 So they told the doctor that I was a prostitute, that I'd been arrested in Hillbrow and when they were trying to arrest me, I ran away, so that's why I got injured.
 So they took me back to Sunset where I was kept.  When I arrived at Sunset, the White wardens there, they were insulting me regular and calling me names.
 I was released on the 1st of December 1988.  After they had released me, there was a person who was posted next to my home to watch on me. I reported this to comrades that I can't even go to the shop, because they were harassing all people.  They were arresting my relatives, asking them, questioning them on what I was.
 So I was all by myself all the time up until my mother sent me to Natal and stay and try and cool off there in Natal for a while.
 When I came back, one person, Mugate was arrested and I was asked to come and give testimony how they tortured us until people agreed to accepting the statements, implicating themselves, although they didn't know anything about that.  One of them threatened that if I talked, I would be killed.

MS SEROKE: Thandi, at that time when you said you are IFP, what did you - did you think that things would get better for you when you said you're IFP and you're not ANC?

THANDI SHEZI: Yes, I thought things would be better for me, because I knew special branch were working very closely with IFP, because I had been a person who had studied in Natal. So I knew IFP. I though, maybe if I, and I knew if they asked me anything about the history of IFP, I would be able to relate it, because I knew it.

MS SEROKE: As you realised that it was difficult for you to give any answers; during this time when they were raping you, all of you, I mean, all of them, were you able to request them to, to ask them, to plead with them to stop raping you?

THANDI SHEZI: During the time when they were raping me, I had already been injured and the tongue had been torn after the electric shock. So I was in no position to speak at that stage. They were just doing whatever they wanted. There was really nothing I could do at that stage. I was helpless.

MS SEROKE: How did you feel about your womanhood when you were violated in this way by the police?

THANDI SHEZI: I was very deeply hurt. As result, there's nobody I've been able to relate the story to. My mom is hearing this for the first time. Other people might have only known this through counselling, because I've been going through counselling at Wits, because I wasn't able to speak about this.   I just kept it in myself. I thought it was going to be my secret.  I thought I'd done something that I deserved to be treated like that.

MS SEROKE: The whole time you were quiet and not sharing this with anybody and you say even your mom is hearing this for the first time that you were gang-raped.  How did you feel about this?

THANDI SHEZI: Within myself it was very painful. It was very painful.  Even now I'm suffering from a womb.  It's as if there's something jumping inside my womb and I still have those physical pains.  Even other people tell you you're just cold.  Even if I get involved with relationships, they say to me I'm frigid and I'm just cold.  Because if I get involved with a man I get very scared.  I can't allow myself to be involved and love the person.

MS SEROKE: When did you start receiving this counselling after this happened to you?