Special Hearings — Children's Hearings — 1997-05-22

RIEFAAT HATTAS: I have no confidence in myself, I am sometimes suicidal.  I do not know whether I can carry myself alone.  I am messed up because of what I went through during my high school years.  I would not like to focus on myself, but I would like to focus on the story of my forgotten Comrades.  Those students who sacrificed their youth, their lives for the sake of our freedom.  Those Comrades for fought for liberation, who never knew what it was like to enjoy life as teenagers.  They did not have time to develop their relationships or to participate in sport.  Those students whose days compromised of meetings, protest marches, facing rubber bullets and often live ammunition, but this was part of the daily struggle against an unjust enemy.  Our primary objective was to make the country ungovernable so that our leaders could return and lead us into a true democracy.  A democracy where everybody would be equal, a culture where young people, especially, children, to not have to be on the run from the security forces, where they do not have to jump out of windows in the middle of the night because they were sought for Section 51 and the Terrorism Act, Section 29, where students could go to school and not having to fight a war, where they could enjoy their youth among their friends, going to parties, play sport and just be children.
 For the forgotten Comrades we knew how our action of defiance formed part of the liberation struggle.  Their action formed part of an integral part of a three pronged defiance campaign;  the underground, internal pressure, especially the need to make the country ungovernable which was a major role which students took part it and the fight from Comrades abroad to encourage international pressure in the form of sanctions.  When we got instructions via MK structures to declare full-scale war, we took action 24 hours a day.  The international press were focused on the unrest of South Africa and this strategy was so successful that the business people of South Africa were forced to speak to the ANC leaders up in Lusaka.  
 Through the pressure and sacrifices of all involved in the liberation struggle, we inevitably got our freedom we fought for so hard.  We reached our objectives at a price.  However, many never realised the kind of phycological stress and trauma we have been subjected to.  Many Comrades had to go into hiding, others were in exile away from their loved ones and friends, but the majority of us who remained behind to continue the struggle for liberation.  For those Comrades who were sought by security police it was the start of a nightmare, a nightmare that was going to be so horrendous, it was going to destroy our lives.  Never could we have imagined that at the age of 15, 16, 17 and 18, we would have been running away from police and going to safe houses only to find police coming to look for us there.  We were going crazy with all the thoughts of being captured, tortured, maimed and even killed at the hands of the security police.  We were never sure whether would see our parents, brothers and sisters again.  One thing was certain, we were not teenagers any longer.  We have aged ten to 15 years in a matter of months and we had to be prepared to face whatever came our way whether we were prepared for it or not.
 Many of us were caught by security police.   In detention we were interrogated, tortured, maimed, violated and continuously harassed.  After this horrid experience we suffered from nervous tension and were all nervous wrecks.  We could not continue school like normal pupils.  Our lives were destroyed.  Some of us managed to complete matric under extremely difficult circumstances.  Others could not take the pressure, they left school to later become drug addicts and gangsters.  If only there were people to help us through our trauma.  We so much want the people to be there for us, because we could not carry on alone.  Too many brilliant students never got the chance to reach their full potential as they were school drop-outs.  They are still searching for themselves amongst all the turmoil in their lives.  To tell you the truth, many of us ask us the price that we had to pay for freedom, whether it was worth it in the end.  
 These are some of the recommendations that myself and our Comrades thought I should list in front of the TRC.  I first would like to say that many of our Comrades who are messed up are still unemployed today.  The other thing I would like to urge the TRC, that they should urge employers to be sympathetic towards survivors by letting us go to support clinics, for example the Trauma Centre and sent us on the Break Through Course, etc.  Security police and police officers and army personnel were promoted because of human rights violations should be demoted or should no longer serve in the South African Police Services, because they make it difficult for ordinary people to respect the police.  We should be financially compensated for all the emotional and psychological trauma we are still enduring.  Memorials should be erected in all provinces to signify the significant role students and children, youth as well as others played.  The Government should take the responsibility to accommodate us in terms of all relevant support we would need.  Special training courses as well as secondary and tertiary education should be made available to those Comrades whose lives have been messed up by the previous Government so that we can feel worthy of ourselves and not like a bunch of low-lives.  President Mandela should unveil a memorial in Parliament that will recognise the role as youth played as well as how our lives have been ruined by the previous Government.  High schools and street names should be renamed in honour of those Comrades who payed the ultimate price for our freedom.  Awareness programmes should be run at schools and other institutions where youth go to so that those students who are sitting here today and those who will still go to school, will know how lucky they are not to go through what we went through.  They should really know that you are very lucky to live in the normal South Africa and sometimes I lie awake at night and I hope, as the choir just sang, I could have been born again to live a normal life.  The TRC should make sure that the National Party does not walk away unpunished for the crimes they committed against the people of South Africa.  President Mandela should unveil a special stone dedicated to the forgotten Comrades to thank them for their loyalty and commitment to the struggle.  This stone or plaque should be in Parliament so that all people will know that our struggle was not in vain.  The National Party should take responsibility for destroying and ruining our lives.  That is all.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: Riefaat, do you want to read the names of some of the ones you want to remember?  Would you like to do that?