Special Hearings — Conscription Hearings — 1997-07-23

CHAIRPERSON: Thank you Doctor Wendy Orr?  Reverend Torr'sstatement we will just note that Reverend Torr has submitted.
 This statement is from Eric Rautenbauch.  Eric writes from Canada. He left the country trying to escape from being conscripted. He went through a number of phases and he says, I'll just readsome excerpts.  He says,
"The people I went to school with and my other White friendsand acquaintances all went one by one to do their military service. One couldn't really blame them - how do you go against such abig machine, you have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run?"
And then he makes the decision.  
I made the decision eventually to break the law, to become a banditlike the ones that I knew from my shebeen days as a teenager tofinance a ticket out ".
And then he goes on to business.  He becomes a dagga runner workingfrom a rural small village place,  and he goes around running-
"... and I did this for about a year saving my little moneybut on my last trip I was betrayed by some of my close White friendswho were either police spies or just compromised into informers."
 He then is imprisoned and serves time in John Vorster Squareand he stays there until he breaks.  Eventually he's sent intoa sanitorium for a 28 day observation to determine his sanityor otherwise insanity and he says in parenthesis, 
"I was beginning to have serious doubts myself."
He's very humorous, it's a very interesting statement which isavailable.  He has very interesting humorous little notes.  Thenhe says he made his break while he was in this sanitorium.  
"I escaped with all the trappings, armed men, dogs, runningover the hills looking for a place to hide, sneaking, crying indespair, breathing the air of freedom, praying to any God whowould listen.  
After turning 21 on June 16th, 1975 in the fort (this was nowwhile he was still in the fort) I was now an adult, a wanted criminaland an escaped lunatic.  I was not exactly the kind of house guestthat anyone wanted around and I was quite paranoid, jumpy havingseen how many people actually co-operated with the system formany different reasons but some very good people did help me."
 Then he goes to England then out of England then France, Switzerland,Italy, Greece, Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan.  
I lived and scavenged through 14 countries.  I was getting tired. It was a confusing time, I was sick and I'd lost faith in humanity. I had no country, no visas, no work permits and no future, nofood.  I stole food to eat.  I was truly homeless even more thanthe homeless of South Africa.  I had no tribe nothing, I trustednobody.  Round and round I went using my White skin to blend inwith the University students, the vacationers and young travellersfrom South Africa, Canada, Australia and Europe.  The stamps builtup in my passport and I started looking suspicious.  
I was lucky to get out of that Spanish police station but afterthey way they kicked my tooth out they were probably afraid tocontact any Consular officials.   (These are like snippets fromthe story)
The woman at amnesty international in Amsterdam laughed at meand literally threw me out of the place but could I blame her? At that time there was no asylum category for refusing militaryservice in South Africa.  She told me I was a criminal and shewanted to and in quotes, "see my bullet holes" she said. It was a humiliating world sometimes.  
On my second attempt to enter England they sent me back to Hollandwhere I was put in the aliens prison and about to be sent home. I had smuggled razor blades in and was going to make a lot ofblood and escape from the hospital but the tide of fate did finallyturn."
 Then he was helped by a number of people and then he says,
"one could say that I have spent the rest of my life recoveringwhich is a lot more than a lot of people received.  I have survivedwhereas so many others have died.  What do we lose when we goaway forever, a country, a life.   Just seeing the tree or rockthat one knows, if only for a minute, it is almost like neverhaving a childhood.  A new home can never really be home.  Asa criminal I lost my credibility, I could never speak for fearof losing my status and being deported to certain doom.  I couldnever write, yes, they got to me in the end.  I hid away and joinedno committees or organisations and when I heard a South Africanaccent I turned away quickly with a sick feeling.  I've lost myfamily and even my citizenship. I even had to swear allegianceto a foreign monarch.  
What this means I don't know but one has to remember that thisall happened before 1976 when the sickness exploded into the streetsand the new revolution began.  Things were not that obvious, therewere no pamphlets on the streets, no information, the quiet beforethe storm but the truth was there, right before our eyes.  
Ten years after I left I met a group of guys here who had beenon the streets of Soweto on June 16th, 1976,  Biko's kids.  Graduatesof the Tanzanian PAC experience, these were the guys I would havehunted in the army.  We made a band and drank beer and jammedon Saturdays for many years.  I'm sorry I committed such a lowlycrime.   I often thought how easy it would have been to just goalong with the flow.  I would like to have made a better, moreintelligent contribution to my country.   In President Mandela'sbook, Long Walk to Freedom,  he describes a meeting with a daggasmuggler who was on the road who turned out to have been a staunchally in early campaigns and he writes, quote, "all are welcomeon the road to freedom".  Unfortunately my road has led me10 thousand miles from the hills of home and from the chance tohelp or just be one of the people, but we are all connected. I take care of my children grateful that they have food to eat.'
 In ending he says,
"I am sorry, I cannot say what life for me would have beenlike without the pressure to kill my friends.  With my backgroundI may have gotten lost in the scuffle or I may have pulled ittogether but just once I would like to say how serious it wasto me, how important it was to never give in and it heartenedme many years later when I researched and read the true storyof the struggle, to find that there were many people who sharedmy ideas long before I was born.  
I am sorry for the pain it gave my mother with her children scatteredall over the world and the police raiding her home years afterI was born.  My style and method left much to be desired especiallyby me.  My revolution was fought in a vehicle but when I finallyreturned for a brief visit to South Africa this year, twenty oneyears after leaving, to take my father's ashes to the mountain,I saw things that I had only dreamed of and I would do it allover again.  Every day my soul cries for home but home is nothome anymore."  
That's Eric Rautenbauch's statement.   
 There's a request from one of my honourable colleagues that westretch for two minutes and in that two minutes I will read anote from N, I'm not sure who it is from but before we stretchfor two minutes actually maybe one, I'd like to welcome CommissionerMr Dumisa Ntsebeza ,who has just walked in, I didn't see him whenhe walked in.  Mr Ntsebeza is a Commissioner and he is the headof the investigating unit and welcome to you Dumisa, thank youfor joining us.  
 I would like to be democratic and find out if people do wantto stretch for two minutes.  There is a nod of heads, yes theywill stretch.  We will return in a minute's time.  
HEARING ADJOURNS
ON RESUMPTION

PROF MEIRING: We are now coming to the final sessionof our meeting where we are going to discuss the way forward. We have two submissions.  Firstly Lt Colonel Botha and Mr IanBruce.  Colonel Botha will speak mainly for Curamus, we care. We are very happy to have you with us, thank you for coming,and we are all ears.  You have to press the red button and pleasetalk to us.
CURAMUS