Human Rights Violation Hearings — Worcester — 1996-06-26

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: From where my mother spoke, Hennie was taken into the jail in 1963 and he was in jail until I met him.  He was in detention for 90 day on 3 occasions, taken away from his mother.  He subsequently went to Robben Island from the years 1967 to 1971.  He then came home and was under house arrest for 5 years which he completed.  I only met him after this.
 My first experience with the police was after I'd met Hennie, they then called me in and they interrogated me for a whole day.  They showed me Hennie's files and asked me why I was getting involved with this kind of person.  I then thought that this must be someone who really has something in him, he was not scared of these people and that is what attracted me to Hennie. 
 To give one word to describe our lives, we had a life of hell, even this morning we had an experience of the drama and the trauma that I had to experience as well as my children for the 15 years since his death.
 We lost our father, he was never home.  Myself with the help of Hennie's mother raised the children.  We had to beg people to help us when he was in the Victor Verster prison.  He was involved in various boycotts here in Worcester and in Ashton and in ... He was well known for his activities..   He made his contribution but he paid a high price.   He was never able to experience the fruits of this new dispensation and this new Government, he was not with us to experience this.  This is the effect that it had on us and on our friends here today who supported us through the course of these 15 years after we had lost him.  It has a continuing impact emotionally.  It brings pain to us and to our children who were raised without a parent, without a father.
 They heard things from other people about him which they themselves were not able to experience with him.  They could never hear him tell the stories about his experiences and they had difficulty understanding who the identity was of their father and that had impact on them.
 We also had tremendous financial losses because of these experiences but we belief there was a strong pillar in my life which enabled me to get through this.  I don't hate anyone and I don't want revenge against anyone that did things to Hennie as we have a heart and so has his mother to forgive people for what they did.  
 Every time that these things come to the fore it is a test for me whether I'm able to forgive.  Hennie used to say that he wants to see his people truly tree, truly liberated.  Liberation for him was not just a change of Government, this is not the freedom of what he spoke, he wanted his people to be wholly free.  
 I now understand what he was speaking of because the pain of the mothers and the fathers as we worked through the session through the course of this week, I realised that we were speaking about pain, that today's speaking would not bring healing of this pain.  It is the inner person who has to be healed.  This is the pain that we have.  We mothers and parents go back and we have prayer meetings and we realised that the true inner hurt is such that I have only a single thought that I want to share with the Commission.  If you just leave us like this, it won't help us.  Many of us spoke for the first time today, opened up for the first time and for the first time experienced the freedom to share their pain.  This opening will only hurt more if we simply leave it like this.
 I have realised that in the isolation experience of 15 years, there was a lot of pain which we as a family experienced but we worked through this together.  We must take each other's hands so that we can become a strong nation, a healthy nation and build a healthy nation for the future.
 I am not here to make recriminations against anyone or the people who did this against us.   All the other mothers who are sitting here, we don't want to aim arrows at them or at their children, we must rather take hands and advance into the future.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: Patti you giving us a very powerful testimony right now, and the sense that you feel that Hennie had actually contributed to -towards our own liberation in this country for all of us is very powerful in the way in which you  understand that.  But you are concerned about the way in which  Hennie  died, can you just give us an idea of why you feel suspicious about  the circumstances around Hennie's death, can you  just  give us an idea of  what your thoughts are about that.

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: When Hennie was taken into Victor Verster prison in the year that he was out, a father or a husband.  During that time they hurt him a great deal.  We gained information and we all agreed that we would make a case and we actually won the case in the Supreme Court.  I was informed that we could make a claim, he was still in prison in Victor Verster at the time and he had agreed that we could make such a case.  We began with it and then Hennie died.
 It was during that time when he died that we were informed that we cannot continue with the claim because he was now deceased.  People were concerned and felt that it might not have been death due to natural causes.  We never took this entire matter up because we had no facts with which to work but there was a lack of certainty hanging in the air in this regard.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: So it is your feeling that the way in which Hennie died and the refusal to continue with the case subsequent to his death, that something was wrong surrounding his death?

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: No, this is not my personal feeling but other people gave us this impression that there was something suspicious.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: You also mentioned that when we asked you what the Commission could do for you that you want to speak briefly about your daughter, would you give us some idea what it is what you want from us with regard to your daughter.

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: I'm not sure whether this is appropriate but at the time of Hennie's death I was three months pregnant.  For the six months after his death I was extremely emotional because Hennie was always locked up and he was not able to help us financially or otherwise.  He wasn't able to help his mother or to put any money away to look after us.  A lot of his rights were taken away from him.
After his death I found things out.  For 15 years I had to again and again find forgiveness in my heart.  When I discovered that Hennie had no license for instance, I was wondering how he could have had a license when he was in jail all the time.  I had to pay for his car and there were all kinds of financial obligations that we had to take care of, we had to take care of our children.  All of these worries had an impact on my life with ... consequences.  
I believe today after a lot of sessions with one of our children that she was emotionally damaged, she's no longer able to concentrate.  There was clear direct consequences due to her father's involvement and the fact that I and Hennie's mother had to take care of the parental responsibilities.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: You also said that you wanted the TRC to investigate the circumstances around your husband's death is that so?

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: I don't know if this is still necessary.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: Could you elaborate somewhat, why do you think it is no longer necessary?

PETRONELLA ESTERHUIZEN: As I said people left us these thoughts of suspicion about the circumstances surrounding his death.  People cared for Hennie and he was loved by the people of Worcester.  They were not able to accept his death.

GLENDA WILDSCHUT: Okay, so you feel that it's a community concern more than a concern for you - okay.  Then just lastly Hennie has made - there is reference made to him in the long walk to freedom the book by Nelson Mandela - what was the reference, what - what was it about?