T:	little bit of information as to why you're here but but maybe you can go ahead and just tell me 
C:	yeah well my wife basically just said if I don't get um final stop drinking then she's leaving 
T:	Wow okay so she's doing pretty tough stance on it 
C:	yeah yeah she said you know she's told me for a long time that she doesn't like it and our kids have said they don't like it she's never she's kind of threatened it but I think she needs it this time I don't
T:	okay all right so pretty important to you I mean she's taking the stance on it your kids have said similar things and now you're here I mean it's gotten point that you've you agreed to go ahead and go into treatment she's saying not just get treatment she's saying quit I mean Jesus she's being pretty yeah she just wants me to stop pretty out of about it okay so what do you think 
C:	well I'm thinking that I've worked hard my whole life and I should be able to to drink if I want but you know I don't you know I never been arrested you know I've got I've done really good with the money that we have you know we live a pretty good life she gets to do what you wanted I get to do what I want and this is just something that I want to do so you know I and it's been that that you know I've been drinking since I think we met yeah we can vary it a long time oh so I don't know what I I'm kind of like I know what the big deal is really and all right I don't want to quit
T:	what's always you feel you know I mean it's like you know you work you you're responsible you do what you think is expected of you and so it kind of feels a little unfair to you know you're a man you're a head of the household you know you're doing your duty and it feels a little unfair to have people trying to dictate your behavior and telling if you've got to give this up 
C:	yeah I don't like it people tell me what to do yeah no no usually I just usually if someone tells me what to do like tell him to back off wouldn't what to do and so but she's serious it's time so I don't know what to do
T:	so all right all right well so I guess that's kind of the that's the dilemma I guess you know on the one hand she's uh she's very out of it she's very concerned and is making her expectation very clear on the other hands you know you're being asked to give up something that you don't particularly want to give up um what do you think what do you think she's what you put why do you think she's so concerned 
C:	well she says she's worried about my health you know cuz I have high blood pressure you know worried about because my dad died of a heart attack at a really early age so she's afraid I'm just gonna I'm just gonna drop dead you know I outlive my dad by so many years and I you know and again it's my life yeah so yeah 
T:	yeah certainly it's you know people can tell you what they want right you know and but all ultimately it's up to your choice what you're gonna do so you know she she can threaten you and she can she can tell you that you know if you don't do this she can you know she's gonna leave and she can leave you know it sounds like you really don't really don't want that
C:	but but you know everybody's got their choices to make in this situation
T:	okay so she's concerned about your health and has pointed out that you have a you know your father so he drank and
C:	that's but I was really little okay when when he died so I don't know 
T:	so you're not sure if that we died of heart attack okay you know so you're not sure if that played a role in his heart attack or not I probably did probably crank song but so you're not sure about how well you know he died did it earlier and she points that out as evidence that like you've got media genetic predisposition to having health related problems associated with drinking 
C:	yeah the dollar I've said I should quit drinking the dog or they know okay you're not convinced but with the dog don't exactly that  years ago I need to quit drinking and
T:	okay so it almost seems like evidence to the opposite they told you to quit drinking  years ago and here you are it's still alive then 
C:	I pretty much do whatever I want when I yeah you know surely no life because the way it's been I've given everybody wrong yeah of everybody okay Wow
T:	okay so you feel like you know you beaten the odds so else you can say the live 
C:	yeah you can say that okay max I'll work my way up I'm working my way up and once really high up my confident for a retiree okay huh you've always thought I would do it
T:	so it's kind of you know the state you know you have this determination you're the kind of person that you know you you do what you trust your gut and you do what you think you should do and you know you work real really hard and you and you've had a lot of success in your life is right it seems like in your in your job and and and with your family the fact that you're a married man with kids and you know you've raised them up and you know I think there's no denying that you had a lot of success in real life in it and and you know and you know better than anyone how hard you had to work could she be back so 
C:	um  and she doesn't get she doesn't she wasn't I don't think she recognized how hard I worked for it to have what we have okay you know and I wish she just let me live the life I've always wanted to live you know and then part of its drinking I like drinking so okay 
T:	okay all right so she's got all these concerns about it how do you and you mentioned your kids have some concerns - they talk about it I mean what is your sense of and it sounds like so far you feel like well I've beaten the odds and I'm this kind of guy like I'm always a kind of guide it sort of pushes the envelope and you know has proven a lot of people wrong over the years and so you're very skeptical when anyone tells you that drinking is going to kill you like yeah is it it's almost like if somebody tells you that you're gonna say you know you're not gonna believe that I mean you just don't believe that's the truth 
C:	well I would yeah because it might kill other people but I'm not going to let kill me
T:	okay okay all right so what so what if anything in what they're telling you do you believe it turns out like a possible negative effects that I may have obviously it has not killed you you're standing here right now yeah okay so as it killed you but do you think but have you seen any do you think there's anything to anything any validity to what your wife is saying your kids and the doctors with regards to having a negative effect on your health or otherwise I mean just just very honestly if you sit there and you look back and kind of go well and is there anything that you think that is going on that that it's valid right now
C:	if I if I tell you what I'm really thinking are you tell my wife but 
T:	no no I mean confidentiality is such that no I want you to know I'd never feel comfortable talking I do not assess us but you know
C:	I think you you I think you kind of get me kind understanding so I really you know my um my son's in AAA okay and and you know when he went into his treat treatment and he really was hard on me like he said that he blamed me for him you know get you know going down that path and and and I really felt like maybe I could have done more he and i were really close now we're not as close because he I can tell you this doesn't like to be around me as I drink and my daughter is she sent me a letter a while ago saying that she loved me and that she didn't want me to die and wanted my kids to be around her but her kids to be around me but she um she didn't want him around as much because cuz she didn't like it when I'm drinking so well so yeah I've had I've had those couple things that that maybe go maybe maybe that maybe I need to rethink this yeah and then I'm always one way and that's really like I still want to lose her I just don't
T:	well you know gosh I really appreciate the Jew did you feel comfortable sharing with me to know who those things with me and and I can see that you know this has been very painful and I just I can't commend you enough for being willing to put yourself out there and come in and trust this process it's not easy to do so I really appreciate the fact that you've done that  thank thanks for talking again together I'll be hopping your straight shooter or I really appreciate that
T:	alright okay thank you very much thanks easy