C:	I'm feeling very stressed out lately a lot of tension couldn't tell me more about that I just feel like nothing I do is good enough I work really hard I try really hard but I'm still having a really hard time
T:	so what I hear you saying is that you're feeling really stressed and kind of stretched out too thin
C:	I am stretched too thin I'm trying so hard but I can't live up to my dad's expectations I really love him but it doesn't feel right or what it should be like my friend's parents support them
T:	and what do you wish things would be like
C:	I like to have more free time I have lots of friends and they get to relax and hang out after school and I don't get to do any of those things I like to do that or spend time with my boyfriend my dad has always pushed sports if it's not volleyball it's another sport and I just want to make him happy
T:	that sounds exhausting so it sounds like you're feeling this contradiction of pleasing your dad and meeting his expectations but you also want to enjoy yourself and be young is that right
C:	yeah
T:	so that must be really frightening to be so confused about your dad's expectations and I also imagine you feel pretty frustrated with them yeah I am frustrated with them
C:	if I don't please him it makes me feel like I'm not good enough
T:	what do you think your dad wants you to be like
C:	well he wants me to be in really good shape make the best of grades graduate with honors so I can get into a really great school and I know he just wants the best for me and I want to make him happy
T:	I can really hear you really love your that don't you
C:	yeah which is why not living up to his standards is so hard and
T:	so it's this feeling that only a part of you is acceptable and that doesn't leave much room for you to be human does it
C:	no it's like he wants me to be perfect perfect like those women in the magazines
T:	yeah and if his love for you is based on picture what's the good at that
C:	you're right it is no good I can't ever be good enough for him I can't ever live up to his expectations and we have this college visit coming up I feel like college is too far away is too far to the future I feel like it's too much pressure and I'm not even sure if that's where I want to go to school I could visit at any point but it's this weekend my boyfriend was going to take me to a concert that all my friends are going to I want to enjoy my life not worry about the future my dad said we had to go now even though he knows about the concert this weekend what should I do it's not where I want to go anyway but I can't tell my dad I could never tell him that's not where I want to go I want to be a kid I want to enjoy my life I just don't think it's fair why do I always have to live up to what he wants me to do what should I do should I tell my dad I don't want to go
T:	so this is the conflict it's really hard for me because I want to give you an answer and I really wish that I could give you the answer you want I really mean that
C:	but that's why I'm going to therapy I thought you were supposed to tell me what to do
T:	well I don't mean to be evasive about this but I just I want to know what do you think you should do in this situation
C:	I don't know why can't I just be like a normal person and tell him I don't want to go why do I tell him things I really don't mean
T:	and so I catch that the real deep puzzle is you feel this what should I do sometimes it's sad for me to notice how hard you are on yourself about yourself and I really appreciate you sharing this with me well
C:	yeah I'm hard on myself because I need to be but I hate how I always have to live up to such high standards
T:	and so the thing that comes to mind is me asking what do you wish I would say to you
C:	I wish you would tell me what to do I feel like there's a part of me that really wants to please my dad but in order to please him I don't feel like I can be myself there's just a part of me that feels lost and unsure of myself
T:	yeah I really hear that and to me at the same time you don't sound too uncertain
C:	oh really
T:	yeah judging by the tone your voice it sounds like the thought of doing what your dad wants you to do is more uncomfortable than it is for you to actually tell him how you feel
C:	I just wish you would listen that he wanted to know how I feel he just wants me to be the perfect daughter but he doesn't even know the real me
T:	and so you sort of feel this I want my dad to like me for who I am
C:	yeah I'm not the straight a size zero perfect girl and I can never be good enough I can never be smart enough or skinny enough and
T:	when I think I'm hearing you say is that you'd like to feel accepted for your dad
C:	yeah that's what I want how can I do that do you think I should say something to him
T:	well I feel like this is a really private thing that I couldn't answer for you but I'll definitely try to help you come to your own answer
C:	it doesn't matter how much I want him to accept me you wouldn't like the real me I could never live up to his expectations the thought of even saying anything is terrifying because I know he would be so disappointed would it even be worth it to say something to him
T:	I'm really not sure it's an awfully risky thing to live and you'd be taking a chance with your relationship with him and you'd also be taking a chance with yourself
C:	yeah it really is risky I'm never in control of anything sometimes I feel like the only thing I have control over is
T:	that sounds really upsetting I think what I'm hearing you say is that by controlling food is the only way that you feel it you can make a choice for yourself
C:	even just talking about it right now is making me really tense because it's making me think of everything I ate today counting the calories is one of the only things that makes me feel better because it's something I can control
T:	so you're feeling anxious at the moment and like your only relief is in controlling what you eat
C:	I guess that's the only thing my dad can't control that it's just mine I don't think that's right I wish I didn't have to be so hard on myself and I could eat like everybody else does
T:	so it's quite clear that the problem isn't just with your dad or your relationship with him but it's also at you as well and in this question of how can I accept myself