So sánh hành vi quyết đoán và hành vi thụ động. Nhận biết hành vi quyết đoán. Nhớ rằng quyết đoán là một kỹ năng được rèn luyện. Nhận thức rằng bạn có quyền. Nhận biết bạn cần thay đổi ở đâu. Nhờ sự giúp đỡ. Thực hành trong những tình huống ít căng thẳng. Kiểm tra bối cảnh của tình huống.

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Assertiveness is not the same as arrogance. A passive person often allows his/her own rights to be violated by agreeing to things even when s/he does not want to do them, refusing to make her/his own decisions, being overly self-effacing, and refusing to communicate about thoughts and feelings honestly. An assertive person is not afraid to say “no” to inappropriate or unfeasible requests and is confident in appropriately expressing her/his feelings, needs, and reactions to others.  Assertive individuals do not allow their own rights to be violated, and they do not violate others’ rights or feelings in order to express their own. Assertive individuals feel a strong sense of internal confidence (i.e., a feeling that you are acting according to your personal values and that you are doing your best). Assertiveness enhances emotional honesty, directness with others, and interpersonal relationships. If you do not stand up for yourself or you rely on others to make all of your decisions, your interpersonal relationships are not as likely to be satisfying. Non-assertive individuals generally experience lower levels of well-being and emotional security. Assertive behavior is as much about how you say something as what you say. Assertiveness does not mean hurting or belittling another person; instead, it is about expressing your own right to have thoughts, needs, and feelings. The following are some examples of assertive behavior:  Expressing your feelings clearly. Telling others of your needs in a non-threatening manner. Avoiding name-calling, swearing, and other inappropriate expressions Communicating honestly and directly Recognizing others’ rights in communication Using cooperative statements and seeking others’ opinions An example of assertive behavior would be to tell the person who cut in front of you in line at the store in a calm voice, “I was next in line. I don’t appreciate that you cut in line like that.” If the situation were reversed and you accidentally cut in line, an assertive behavior would be to...


So sánh lợi ịch giữa việc "bị sa thải" và "tự thôi việc". Nói chuyện với cấp trên về tình hình hiện tại. Nộp đơn trợ cấp thất nghiệp.

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" Getting "fired" does not refer to driving your boss to the point where he or she wants to fire you. This refers to speaking to your boss about leaving under the official reason for getting "fired." By leaving under this term you are able to collect unemployment and any other benefits you might have lost by quitting, such as stock options, until you find another job. Unemployment is only offered to people who lose their jobs through no fault of their own.  This only works in certain circumstances. For example, if you are working for a company and the responsibilities are too much for you to handle, speaking to your boss frankly can lead to the company agreeing to let you go on good terms. If you'd like to choose this method, you should have a good reason for wanting to "get fired." This means that you were valuable to the company but want to take time off to try a new project, or to spend time with your family. This method only works if you're not transitioning into a new job. If you're switching to a new job, then you'll be able to get the benefits and compensation of that job. To make this work, you have to have a strong relationship with your boss. Your boss should know you pretty well and should understand where you're coming from and how much value you bring to the company. This is a difficult thing to do but this could work out better for both of you. After telling your boss that you want to leave, you should have an honest conversation about wanting to be "fired." Here's what you should do:  Explain why you want to leave. Be honest. It may be because you have too many current responsibilities at your position, that you need to take a mental health break, or that you want to pursue your own projects. Try to sway your boss to let you go rather than having you quit. While you can't "ask" to be fired, it should naturally come up in a conversation. If you are close to your boss, he might offer to let you go with the understanding that it can improve your post-job situation. Realize that this means you have...


So sánh mã kiểu đính trên giày với con số ghi trên hộp giày. Kiểm tra nhãn bên dưới lưỡi gà. Xem xét tỷ lệ của lô-gô Jumpman. Kiểm tra chi tiết xung quanh dây giày. Quan sát chất lượng đường chỉ khâu. Kiểm tra phần đế giữa. Tìm kiếm các kiểu phối màu của kiểu giày Jordan cụ thể.

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Locate the small tag on the inside of the shoe. All of the information listed on the manufacturing sticker should also be on this tag. Make sure the information is exactly the same as what’s on the box sticker, especially the style number.  The stitching on the tag ought to look uniform and neat. Spelling errors on this interior tag are almost always an indicator of inauthentic Jordans. Jordans have a very specific label under the tongue. Lift up the tongue and check out the underside. You should see the words “greatest player ever” embroidered there. The embroidery should be white, easy to read and look professional. Double check the details on the logo located on the back of the shoes (or sometimes on the tongue). The logo should appear crisp and uncompromised. Look at the hands, basketball and feet to ensure everything looks properly proportioned. Nothing should look blurry or smudged. Fake Jordans may have an uneven or lumpy Jumpman, with poor stitching and unusual proportions. The spaces between the shoelace tabs should be even. All of the shoelace tabs will be the same size and shape. Make sure they are all attached firmly, with the same amount of tension. Fake Jordans will often have some shoelace tabs that are looser than others. Inspect the shoes carefully for neat and professional looking stitching. Everything should look evenly spaced, with no unfinished edges or frayed threads. The stitching on the heel is often a giveaway – if it looks poorly done or uneven, question the authenticity of the shoes. This is where the side fabric transitions into the front of the shoe. It is usually a different fabric and color than the toe section. On real Jordans, the midsole point will be in front of the bottom lace hole. On fake Jordans, the midsole point will often match the bottom lace hole. View the midsole tips. The “mountains” of the sole molding should be sharp tips, not curved edges. Go to Footlocker.com or Nike’s own site to find the authentic colorways. Colorways are a color combination that is updated...


So sánh mật độ dân số. Thử đưa vào mức tăng trưởng dân số. Nhận thức về các hạn chế. Suy nghĩ về dữ liệu.

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Compare data from multiple areas, and use the contrasting population densities to make observations about those areas. For example: if the city of Boonesville includes 60,000 people overs its 8 square miles, then its population density is 7,500/square mile. You can see that the population density of Auburn is far higher than the population density of Boonesville. Consider whether you can use this difference to draw any conclusions about the two cities. Even if you calculate the population density of an area as dense as a large city, the resulting figure will not tell you much about the differences between individual neighborhoods. You may need to find the density for various area scales in order to fully understand a place. Calculate the projected population growth for a given area, then compare the current population density with the predicted future density. Look for census data from the past, and try comparing past population densities with the current figure. Try to understand how a place has changed and will change. It is simple and straightforward to calculate population density in this way, but it may not reveal more intricate details about an area. This is highly dependent upon the size and type of the area for which you are calculating population density. The formula sometimes says more about smaller, densely-inhabited areas than it does about larger areas that include both inhabited and uninhabited land.  Say that you calculate the population density of a county that is home to a huge amount of open land and national forest, but also to a very large city. The population density of the county at large will not tell you much about the density of the city: the actual space where people live. Remember that population density is just an average. It may not correspond exactly to the population count of an area. If not, consider why. Try calculating the density for a smaller area within the original area. Make predictions about an area given when you know about high and low population densities. For...


So sánh đầu gối bị sưng với đầu gối bên kia. Gập và duỗi thẳng chân. Thử đi lại. Đến gặp bác sĩ.

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Look for puffiness around the kneecap or around the sides of the knee. Comparing your two knees is a good way to check to see if there is swelling or redness and to see if is something wrong.  There might also be swelling at the back of your knee. This could signal a Baker's cyst, which is when extra fluid is pushed into tissue behind your knee. It can cause swelling at the back of your knee which may worsen when you stand up.  If your affected knee is redder and warmer to the touch than the other knee, see your doctor. If you have discomfort when you move your leg, you may have some level of injury that needs to be treated. You may feel this discomfort as pain, pressure or stiffness. The stiffness and/or pressure will most likely be due to fluid in your knee. An injured leg may be painful to stand on. Try putting your weight on your leg and walking to see if your leg can handle load bearing exercise. While you may be able to diagnose swelling in your knee, you may not know the exact cause behind the swelling. It's best to check with your doctor if the swelling is persistent, painful, or doesn't go away in a couple of days. Some possible conditions that cause knee swelling include: an injury such as a torn ligament or cartilage; irritation from exerting your knee too much; osteoporosis; rheumatoid arthritis; gout; infection; bursitis; or other conditions.


So sánh độ cứng của thịt với lòng bàn tay.

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For cuts of pork like chops and steaks, you can usually assess the meat’s doneness by pressing firmly into it with your tongs or fingers. Properly cooked pork will feel firm and quickly spring back into shape after you pull your fingers away. The pork should feel as firm as the center of your outstretched palm.  If any juices squeeze out, they should be clear when the pork is done cooking. If the pork feels soft to the touch, it needs to keep cooking.


Soi da dưới ánh sáng tự nhiên để xác định nước da của bạn: Quan sát màu của tĩnh mạch trên cổ tay. Lưu ý cách thức da phản ứng với mặt trời: Thử trang sức vàng và bạc.

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fair, light, medium, tan, deep. Concentrate on the skin around your jaw line.  Fair skin: your skin is very pale or translucent and you burn very easily. You may have freckles and some redness.  Light skin: your skin is pale. When you are in the sun, you burn and then may possibly tan.  Medium: you tan easily and generally don't burn or have sensitive skin.  Tan: your skin is tan or olive. You rarely burn and look tanned even in the winter.  Deep: your skin is dark and you never get sunburned. Your hair is possibly black or dark brown. This is a quick way to figure out if you have a warm, neutral, or cool skin tone.  Blue or purple veins indicate you have a cool skin tone. Green veins mean you have a warm skin tone. If you have difficulty deciding if your veins are blue or green, you likely have a neutral skin tone and can choose colors from both the cool and warm spectrum. People with olive skin usually have neutral undertones. do you tan or burn easily?  Skin that tans easily has more melanin indicates a warm skin tone. Most women of African, Caribbean, and Indian descent fall into this category. If you burn before you tan (and maybe can't tan at all), then your skin has less melanin and you have a blue skin tone. If you have deep ebony skin, you may actually fall into this category. Which looks better?  Gold jewelry looks best with warm skin tones. Silver jewelry looks best on cool skin tones. Both look good on a more neutral skin tone. This can be a good "tie breaker" if you don't clearly meet the criteria listed already.


Soi gương và tưởng tượng các kiểu tóc khác nhau. Xem lại những bức ảnh cũ của bạn với các kiểu tóc khác nhau. Sử dụng một ứng dụng để thử những kiểu tóc khác nhau. Đo khoảng cách giữa tai và cằm để xác định xem kiểu tóc ngắn có thích hợp với bạn không. Chọn kiểu tóc ngắn nếu bạn sống ở nơi có khí hậu nóng, ẩm. Chỉ nên cắt tỉa tóc nếu bạn muốn tạo ra những thay đổi to lớn trong cuộc sống. Đừng cắt tóc chỉ vì ai đó yêu cầu bạn.

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Deciding whether or not to cut your hair is a personal decision that's different for everyone, and there's no right or wrong answer. While you're trying to decide, spend some time looking in the mirror, thinking about how your hair would look if you cut it. Play with your hair in the mirror, too–hold it up so the ends hit at a shorter length than normal, or flip the ends of your hair over your forehead so they look like bangs. This can help give you a rough idea of what you would look like with a new cut. If you're thinking about cutting your hair, flip through pictures where you have different hairstyles, if you have any. Pay attention to how different cuts framed your face, and think about what you did and didn't like about your hair at the time. Another thing to look for is how different haircuts looked when you styled them yourself. For instance, if a cut looked great on you right out of the salon but you had trouble taming your curls at that length, pictures can help remind you. There are a number of apps and websites that will let you upload a picture to try on different haircuts. This is a fun way to experiment with different lengths, styles, and even colors to see what you like. You might even discover a cut that you would never have considered before!  When you're taking a picture to upload to one of these apps, pull your hair away from your face and look straight into the camera. This will help ensure the sample hairstyles are aligned properly with your face. If you don't have a way to take a picture of yourself, most of these apps will let you try hairstyles on a model's face. Try to pick a model whose face shape most closely resembles yours. Take a screenshot or print out a photo to show to your hairdresser if you find a style you really love. Hold a pencil directly under your chin, extending out toward your ear, then hold a ruler perpendicular to the pencil and measure the distance between the pencil and your ear.  If the distance between your ear and your chin is less than 2.25 in (5.7 cm), your...


Soi gương để kiểm tra tóc. Đầu tư một cây kéo chất lượng. Bố trí như tiệm cắt tóc ngay tại nhà. Gội đầu.

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Since you're cutting your hair at home, take extra time to examine it in the mirror and decide where you want the layers to be. If you want, take a picture of your face, print it out, and mark out where the layers should go. Some people like long, natural-looking layers, while others choose bolder looks with sharper distinctions between the different hair lengths. Take the following factors into consideration:  Your hair texture. Layering tends to add body to hair, especially when some of the layers are short in length. If your hair is already full-bodied or curly, you may want to go for longer layers that don't differ much to frame your face. Your face shape. Think about what layer length is  right for the shape of your face. Longer layers look gorgeous with round or square faces, while shorter layers accent faces that are oval or heart-shaped. Your style preferences. If you're trying to emulate the look of a certain celebrity or popular hairstyle, figure out how to make it work with your hair. Decide where the layers should fall, how your hair will be parted, and how you'll style it in the end. The most important tool required to make sure your hair turns out looking great - and not like your little sister cut it in your sleep - is a sharp, professional-grade pair of barber scissors, also called shears. Using craft scissors or kitchen scissors will leave you feeling unhappy with the final result. Pick up a pair of good scissors from a beauty store or drugstore. Work in a well-lit place with access to a sink and a mirror - probably the bathroom. Have a towel ready to drape over your shoulders, a set of hair clips for holding back sections of your hair, your scissors, and a comb at your disposal. A second mirror you can use to check out the back of your hair is also necessary. You may also need a spray bottle filled with water to keep your hair damp, depending on how fast it dries. When you're ready to get started, wash your hair and comb out the tangles with a wide-toothed comb. Towel it dry so that it's...


Soạn email mới trên ứng dụng Mail. Đặt con trỏ tại vị trí mà bạn muốn ảnh hiển thị trong nội dung email. Nhấn vào con trỏ để mở trình đơn. Nhấn vào dấu mũi tên bên phải trình đơn. Nhấn vào "Insert Photo or Video" (Chèn ảnh hoặc video). Tìm ảnh hoặc video mà bạn muốn đính kèm. Chèn ảnh hoặc video. Gửi email.

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You can insert images into your message using the Mail app. This is essentially the same thing as attaching the image. The images will appear in-line in the message body. You can insert the messages anywhere in the body. If you want them to appear as more traditional attachments, place them at the end of the message. You'll see the "Select," "Select All," and "Paste" options. You'll see additional options appear. You won't need to do this on an iPad. This will open a list of your photo and video albums. You can browse through all of the albums on your Camera Roll. Tap the photo or video and then tap "Choose." This will add the image or video to the message. You can insert up to five images into a single email messages, or a single short video clip. After you're finished adding images, you can send the message as you normally would. You'll be prompted to either compress the images or send them in their original quality. If you're using a mobile connection, you may want to reduce the quality to save data.


Soạn và phản hồi thư điện tử (email) như thể chúng đại diện cho bạn. Giữ giọng điệu phù hợp ở tin nhắn và email. Bắt đầu và kết thúc trao đổi trực tuyến một cách duyên dáng và chuyên nghiệp. Hãy rõ ràng và đi thẳng vào vấn đề. Hãy thân thiện. Thận trọng khi trao đổi bằng phương tiện truyền thông xã hội. Thể hiện quan điểm của bản thân mà không trở nên thô lỗ. Kiềm chế việc chống đối cộng đồng. Đừng phản ứng với những cuộc đối thoại sẽ khiến bạn phiền lòng hoặc kéo bạn lấn sâu vào sự tiêu cực. Trao đổi với người khác bằng tin nhắn. Thực hiện phép lịch sự thông thường khi nhắn tin. Giữ liên lạc với gia đình.

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Online conversations are becoming more and more an essential part of the daily experience including all forms of education. Your words represent who you are and your personal brand, so putting your best foot forward is important. If you don’t have the benefit of a face-to-face conversation, your image is formed by crafting online communication. Be mindful that the tone of your texts and emails can get lost. Conversations in e-form are one-dimensional and can be misunderstood. You don’t have the benefit of seeing a person face-to-face to observe the body language, voice tone, and emotion of a conversation.  Be polite in your choice of words. Refrain from using all capital letters throughout the text or email. This will be perceived as yelling. Use emoticons, a small facial icon portraying an emotion, to clarify the emotional intent of your comments and conversations. For example, always include a greeting such as, “Dear _____, I was excited to see your email today and thought I would reach out.”  Sign off of by saying, “Thank you for allowing me to explain my situation. I look forward to your reply. Respectfully submitted, _____.” If you have a question, quickly get to asking it. Depending on the recipient, you may only have a few seconds to hook the person’s attention. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Even if you need to express a conflict or dissatisfaction you can maintain a professional demeanor. For example, “Dear ____, It has come to my attention that there has been an error made by your company. I am contacting you today to resolve the matter and hope that the issue can be settled without taking further action.” Whether you spend an hour per day or per month online, everyone has an online reputation. The power of positive actions and the devastating consequences of an online fail can change your circumstances in a heartbeat. Each comment you make on social media is either the potential start of a conversation, or a response that can further the conversation. For example, you can say, “I...


Suy nghĩ kỹ xem liệu chàng có bị bạn làm cho ngột ngạt và áp lực khi ở bên nhau hay không. Nhìn nhận mọi thứ từ quan điểm của chàng.

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It may be that he has retreated just to gain some space if you've been too intrusive or intense of late. Maybe you're texting him often, or you've been calling three times an hour for the past three hours. Understand that guys generally appreciate their space and not having to be with you 24/7. There are a lot of very authentic reasons that might seem as if he is "ignoring" you, but actually, have nothing to do with you.  He may be busy. You may have the habit of talking daily, then suddenly it stops, and you urgently want to chat. It has been a day, but you're frantic. And he, well he is very busy! When he's busy, you can expect him to cut off the communications until the task is done. He doesn't feel well. He has been trying to deal with a head cold, a shoulder pain or a stomach ache. Being the stoic that he is, he has only stopped replying because he doesn't want to burden you with his pain or let on that he doesn't even feel so great. He is tired. Genuinely, pooped. He just wants a bit of space to recover his lost energy, so he's withdrawing for a week of snooze catch-up. He has experienced a family issue. He is uncomfortable talking to you about it because he has issues with his crazy/possessive/insane/angry/moralizing/whatever family and it's just all too hard to go into the gritty details. He'd rather you didn't get involved because once you are, awful entanglements will ensue. This can be a very protective stance, both ways. He has hit a snag at work. The deadline is looming, the boss is breathing down his neck, the job's future is precarious. He's salvaging what is left of his work opportunity, and you are suddenly a distraction.


Suy nghĩ liệu bạn có phải là nhà hòa giải lý tưởng. Đề nghị hai người ngồi lại với nhau. Dẫn dắt buổi thảo luận. Cho các bên cơ hội trình bày. Lắng nghe cả hai phía. Để hai bên trao đổi. Ủng hộ một bên nếu thấy hợp lý. Đề xuất một vài nhượng bộ. Khuyến khích hai bên làm lành với nhau.

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You might see yourself as a talented counselor or friendly shoulder to cry on. However, you may not be the best mediator for every conflict resolution. Make sure you have a close, but impartial relationship with both parties.  Family members make the best mediators for sibling disputes. Parents, older siblings, or neighborhood friends are good people to turn to for conflict resolution. Workplace disputes are a little more sensitive because there are laws and policies in place to control conflicts. Supervisors or human resource personnel are usually the appropriate parties to resolve conflicts. Check with your company handbook before acting as a formal or informal mediator. Tell the two parties you want to help them work through their differences. Find a time they can both get together to discuss their conflict. They won’t be able to openly discuss their feelings until they are in a room together with that intention. They may find a time themselves, or you may have to make suggestions.  This will be easy if it is, for example, a workplace dispute. A supervisor can tell them that their work is suffering and they are required to discuss their conflict. Getting two fighting friends in the same room to settle a conflict may be more tricky. The most straightforward way is to tell each of them you want to help them talk through their problems with each other. If it is too sensitive an issue, you might need to invite them to the same get together without saying anything about the other person. This is a risky move, however. You don’t need to control the entire conversation, as this may hinder organic conflict resolution. However, you might consider saying a few opening words to get them started. After all, they should know that their conflict is obvious to an impartial observer, and therefore potentially harmful. This implicit fact may bring home the reality of their conflict.  For example, you may need to explain more to children. Try telling each of them why their conflict is unhealthy and harmful. Remind them how...


Suy nghĩ lạc quan và thực tế. Tán dương bản thân. Tiếp nhận các khả năng. Đối phó với bộ lọc tiêu cực.

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Ruminating over bitter and negative thoughts is a trademark of depression. This means you get stuck thinking the same negative thoughts over and over again. Making changes to stop these negative ruminations can take time, but persisting in this matter can make a major difference.  Write down all the bad automatic thoughts you have. It may seem like you don’t have that many negative thoughts, so keeping a list of them all can give you a good reality check. Seeing the amount as well as the content of these thoughts can help you to identify unproductive thought patterns that contribute to depression. Next, create a positive or more logical thought for each negative thought you wrote down. This might look like: "Instead of, 'I'm ugly,' I will think, 'I am unique and beautiful just as I am. I don't need to conform to any societal standard of beauty.'" Turn around negative or irrational thinking. Every time you have a negative thought, make the conscious decision to stop it. For every negative thought you have, replace it with a positive, more realistic one. Although this may seem silly or strange at first, it can make a serious difference in your mood and functioning over time. For example, if you have a thought such as, "I know this is going to turn out badly," think of alternative ways of thinking about the situation such as, "This might not end up so bad. It could have a good outcome." Even if you don't believe it right away, positive self-talk helps reduce depression and increase a sense of well-being.  Make a list of your ten favorite physical features and your ten favorite features of your personality. For instance, you really like the color of your eyes and you like that you're a compassionate person. Post this somewhere you can see it on a daily basis, and repeat items off it to yourself when necessary. When you find that you’re bringing yourself down, consciously compliment yourself on something. You can look at your list to remind yourself of some of your best qualities. Accept compliments from others as...


Suy nghĩ trước khi hành động. Xem xét mọi góc độ. Xác định con đường đúng đắn và lựa chọn nó. Ngẫm nghĩ về trải nghiệm của bạn.

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When you're faced with a difficult situation, take as long as you need to think it through before you react or make a decision. This gives you time to get your emotions under control and weigh your options, and it's mandatory no matter what situation you're dealing with.  If you can, take time to evaluate the situation, writing down how you are feeling. Try to identify at least one positive thing about the situation, no matter how small. Changing your thinking in this minor way can make a huge difference. Remember to take at least 10 seconds to let something set in before you speak. Even if your girlfriend just told you she wants to break up, you can spare 10 seconds to compose yourself before you respond. In the end, you'll be glad you did. In your composed state, before you decide what to do, think clearly about the situation at hand. What exactly happened? What are the possible paths that could be taken? There's always more than one way to handle a problem. Let's say a friend has asked you to participate in illegal activity, and you're not sure how to choose between staying loyal to your friend and obeying the law. Weigh the pros and cons of both courses you could take. Is your friend really a friend if he's asking you to break the law? Or is the law standing in the way of true justice? Use your conscience as your guide. Research has shown that people who make decisions based on what their instincts tell them to do tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who carefully weigh them out. Sometimes the answer will be clear, and sometimes it will be extremely difficult to figure out the right thing to do. Don't let the problem fester and get out of hand; make a decision and go for it.  Consult with others you trust. It's completely fine to ask others' opinions if you're not sure what course to take. Just don't let them sway you into doing the wrong thing. Think about what someone you admire would do. It should be someone who is level-headed, honest and good-hearted. What would that person do?...


Suy nghĩ trước khi phản ứng. Bộc lộ bản thân qua lời nói. Tránh các chủ đề dẫn đến xung đột. Thảo luận với bố mẹ.

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The worst thing you can do in a conflict is reacting right away. If your sister hurt your feelings, pause before reacting. Take a few deep breaths and try doing something like counting to five. This will prevent you from blowing up at your sister, potentially making the situation worse. Use your words to handle conflict. Do not scream and yell, as you are not really communicating. Never resort to physical violence, as this will only make things worse. You also do not want to accidentally hurt your sister during an argument.  Let your sister know that she has hurt or upset you. Use simple language to explain the unacceptable behavior instead of getting angry in return. For example, say something like, "Ella, do not pinch me. Pinching hurts." This is more effective than yelling or pinching back. Certain topics may simply cause arguments. Maybe your sister dislikes discussing something at school. Maybe there's an issue you simply disagree on. If certain topics tend to only lead to conflict, you may be better off avoiding them. No one sees eye-to-eye on everything all the time. If you're having trouble managing an issue with your sibling, talk to a parent. Your parents want you and your sister to get along. They will be happy to mediate if the two of you are having an issue.  Do not bring it up in a negative way. You do not want your parents to think you're being argumentative or mean. Present yourself as wanting to resolve the issue rather than get your parents on your side. For example, say something like, "Dad, I'm having trouble with Sophie lately. Can you give me some advice on how to talk to her about how she read my diary?"


Suy nghĩ tích cực Thực hành chấp nhận và cải thiện. Khen ngợi chính mình. Xây dựng sự tự tin Giữ nhật ký thể hiện lòng biết ơn. Suy nghĩ rằng bản thân là một người xinh đẹp. Tôn vinh thế mạnh của bản thân. Thiền

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You may think that some people are just naturally more positive than others. That’s not necessarily wrong, but don’t let negative thinking keep you from making a decision to be more positive. If you want to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, fight your negative thoughts with at least two or three positive ones. Make an effort to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and to expect good things to happen to you; the more you expect good things to happen, the more they will.  Let’s say you’re going to a party where you won’t know a lot of people. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m probably going to spend all of my time hanging out alone by the pita and hummus,” you should alter this negative thought. Instead tell yourself, “Maybe I’ll make a new friend tonight,” or “I’ll have a great time catching up with the few people I know.” Positive thinking can help you feel happier and have less stress. Accepting who you are does not mean that you have to give up on improving yourself.  If there is an aspect of your life that you would like to change, then set goals for yourself to help you get there.  You can work for change while still accepting where you are in the moment.  If, for example, you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, accept that about yourself.  Say “I am not always comfortable talking to new people, and that is okay.”  Then set a goal for change.  Your goal could be, “I will talk to someone I don’t know twice every week.”  Next time you’re waiting for an elevator or standing in line at a store, strike up a conversation with someone.  These baby steps will help you change your level of comfort over time. Another example that people often struggle with is weight loss.  Many people who feel that they need to lose weight are unhappy with their bodies as they are.  However, accepting and loving your body as it is could actually...


Suy nghĩ tích cực Tách biệt hành động và tính cách của mọi người. Nhận biết mỗi khi bạn đang xét đoán ai đó. Đặt mình vào vị trí của người khác. Tìm ra điểm chung. Biết ơn những gì bạn đang có. Thể hiện lòng nhân ái.

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. A negative mindset can lead to judgemental thinking. Try to see the positive aspects in every situation, rather than the negatives. When you catch yourself having negative thoughts, challenge them. Then, challenge yourself to pick out something positive.  You can still be realistic while being positive. You don’t have to ignore negative aspects, just don’t focus exclusively on them. It’s okay to have bad days. Forgive yourself on days when you are feeling down and negative. Having a positive attitude can improve your life in many ways! Sometimes people will do things that you find abhorrent, such as stealing someone’s lunch money or cutting in a line. Although their actions may be wrong, it’s important not to judge them solely on one action. They likely have positive qualities that you haven’t seen yet. Consider that their actions in that one moment may be driven by a circumstance you don’t understand. For example, they may have stolen the lunch money because they haven’t had a meal in 2 days. Nip judgments in the bud by identifying how and when you’re thinking about other people. When you catch yourself having critical thoughts about someone, ask yourself how you or they benefit from those thoughts. Then, offer a compliment instead. For example, you might catch yourself thinking, “That girl needs to lose some weight.” Challenge that thought, asking yourself why it’s your business. Then say something nice that you noticed, such as, “You have a beautiful smile!” Every person is a unique individual with different talents, skills, personalities, and life experiences. Additionally, people are shaped by their upbringing, including where they grew up, how they were treated, and their living conditions. As you get to know people, try to imagine yourself in a similar position. Even if you may not have made the same choices, accept that they have a right to make their own decisions. For example, a person you consider to be too needy may have grown up without a supportive parent. Similarly, a person that you believe...


Suy nghĩ tích cực về chính mình. Nói chuyện với ai đó. Tập thể dục. Để ý dấu hiệu trầm cảm.

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Think about your strengths and feel proud of them. Do things that make you feel good about yourself--take time to finish that painting you started or go on a run. Acknowledging that something bad happened to you, and realizing that you are strong enough to deal with it is a key part of getting over your heartbreak. Make a list of your strengths. Remind yourself of your accomplishments, and the good qualities you have. The act of writing them out can remind you of them, or you can create a list and read it whenever you feel down. You are not alone in the world. Look for a trusted friend or advisor, or a close relative, and tell them how you feel. Sometimes just getting your feelings off your chest can help you work through them. Additionally, you never know what help other people can give, whether it's good advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. Physical exercise causes your body to release serotonin (a chemical that makes us feel happy) and stimulates the growth of nerve cells. On an emotional level, exercising may help you to feel like you are becoming the master of yourself again. Plus, you'll look better too.  You don't need a full workout. Something as simple as 10-15 minutes a day doing a simple exercise like jogging or yoga can be enough to get you a good frame of mind. Even work that doesn't feel like exercise, like weeding a garden or taking a walk outside, gets you some fresh air while you move. The most important thing is that you stay consistent in what you do.  If you're feeling down, it can be hard to motivate yourself to exercise. Work around that by distracting yourself with something enjoyable. Maybe just walk through a mall or some other place you enjoy. You can also give yourself something to do only while exercising, like listening to certain music you enjoy, or watch your favorite TV show while on a machine. That will keep your mind off the workout and onto something you enjoy. As long as you leave that only for exercising, it can give you something fun to come back to.  You can always ask...


Suy nghĩ tích cực. Tập trung vào những điểm mạnh. Hoàn thành mục tiêu. Xây dựng hình ảnh cơ thể tích cực. Chăm sóc hình thức bề ngoài. Tập thể dục để cải thiện tâm trạng.

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It can be frustrating trying to meet the right guy. It might make you anxious, or even sad. That's normal, but those types of thoughts won't help you to find a boyfriend. Shift your mindset so that you focus on thinking positive thoughts.  Release negativity. If you find yourself thinking, "You'll never meet someone", let that thought go. Replace it with a thought like, "I'm proud of myself for putting in effort." Try a gratitude journal. Spend 5-10 minutes a day writing down things you are thankful for. This will help you reflect on the positive aspects of your life. You could write things such as, "I'm grateful that my best friend and I both got cast in the school play" or "I'm glad my parents trust and respect me." Try to spend some time each day reflecting on what you most like about yourself. You can choose any attributes you like! You can give yourself compliments out loud, or you can try writing them down.  For example, you might look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, "You have a great smile!" You might leave yourself a note on your laptop that says, "You are an excellent writer!" Try hanging a note in your locker that says something like, "You're an awesome singer!" Conquering your goals is a great way to build your confidence. First, set specific goals. Remember to include both long term and short term goals. Then, make a plan to achieve each one.  A short term goal could be, "Avoid going out to eat for 1 week." You can accomplish this goal by meal planning and packing lunches to take to work. A long term goal might be, "Get promoted in 1 year." Write down specific ways to accomplish this, such as taking on more responsibility at work. You could try, "Make the honor roll this semester" or "Join a new after school club". Checking each goal off of your list will be a serious confidence boost! In today's society, it is easy to feel like you might be overweight. It can be hard to feel good about yourself when constantly faced with photos of super thin celebrities. Try to remember, these...


Suy nghĩ về bản thân. Nhìn lại cuộc sống và những thành tựu của bạn. Tập trung vào những suy nghĩ và niềm tin lạc quan. Đặt ra các mục tiêu và kỳ vọng. Cứ đóng giả cho đến khi bạn thực sự làm được. Nắm bắt cơ hội. Giúp đỡ người khác. Chăm sóc bản thân. Xua đi ý tưởng về sự hoàn hảo. Hãy bền chí.

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If you chronically lack confidence, it's probably very easy for you to catalogue your faults and failures, but what about acknowledging your positives? For most people, this is a lot more challenging.  Researchers have found that self-esteem is comprised of both cognitive factors, such as positive memories you have of yourself and your behavior, and self-evaluation, or how positively you evaluate your current attitudes and behaviors. Make a list of everything you like about yourself - your qualities and skills that make you you.  It can help to actually sit down and write out a list as things come to you. Grab a notebook or journal and set a timer for 20-30 minutes. Journaling is a good way to continually maintain and open conversation with yourself about who you are and want to be. It's a way to prompt self-reflection and self-discovery and may help you realize things about yourself that you didn't really know.  Think also about some areas you'd like to improve, such as assertiveness or self-confidence. Contemplate not only what you feel, but why you feel the way you do. Begin to understand your true self, and allow it to exist. If you're not as good at handling some things as you are at others—for example, maybe you feel confident and capable until other people are thrown into a situation, such as in a relationship or at work—acknowledging all facets of yourself is the first step to transformation. Chances are that you are not giving yourself enough credit for everything that you've done throughout your life. Take some time to reflect and look back at your past glories from big to small—things that you've done that you feel proud of. This will help validate your place in the world and the value you bring to the people and society around you and, in this way, build your self-confidence. Research shows that part of building self-esteem is having a solid schema of positive memories about your past accomplishments and abilities. If you begin to accept that you have been a bright, hopeful, confident person in...


Suy nghĩ về cuộc sống lý tưởng của bạn. So sánh tầm nhìn lý tưởng của bạn với hoàn cảnh cuộc sống hiện tại. Cân nhắc liệu đó là những kỳ vọng thực tế hay không thực tế cho cuộc sống. Đặt ra mục tiêu cho chính mình.

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People often struggle to hope for a better tomorrow because they don’t know what it might look like. Before you can have hope it might be necessary to first figure out what type of life you imagine as the most desirable.  Take some time to consider your ideal life and what it would include.  Ask yourself: “If I could wake up tomorrow and have any life, what would it be like?” Think about as many details as possible. What would your house look like? What would your friends be like? What kind of activities would you participate in? You may find it helpful to write out your vision for your life so that you can review it and revisit it from time to time. After you figure out what kind of life you would like to have in an ideal world, compare that life to your present life circumstances. Doing so can help you to determine what areas of your life are already in line with your vision, or if you are headed in the right direction.  For example, if you envision yourself 40 pounds thinner, consider what you are doing right now to get you to that goal. Are you eating healthy foods? Controlling your portions? Exercising regularly? What do you need to move closer to your vision? As you reflect on your life, consider your current circumstances. Have any of the aspects of your ideal vision already been manifested in your life? In order to have hope, it is important to make sure that the vision you have for yourself is realistic. If your vision is not realistic, it may cause you to feel hopeless. Consider your vision for your life and try to determine if your vision is realistic. If not, you may need to make some adjustments so that your vision is something that you can achieve. For example, imagine your vision is to be a millionaire, but you don’t know what type of job you would want to get you there. In this case, you should consider starting with goals that are more relevant to your current life conditions. Having goals to work towards is one of the best ways to have hope. After you have developed a vision for your life,...


Suy nghĩ về cách bạn muốn bắt đầu cuộc trò chuyện. Tiết lộ giới tính với bố mẹ bằng cách giải thích khuynh hướng về giới tính của bạn. Giải thích quan điểm của bạn trong thời điểm hiện tại để giúp bố mẹ thấu hiểu. Giải thích với bố mẹ lý do tại sao trước đây bạn lại không tiết lộ giới tính với họ. Chia sẻ với bố mẹ những việc họ có thể làm để hỗ trợ bạn.

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This will likely be the hardest part, because taking the first step always feels the most challenging.  “I have something that I need to tell you, because I've felt like I needed to keep it a secret for a long time. I feel ready to talk to you about it now.” “I've had something on my mind for a long time now that I find hard to talk about.” “I need to talk to you about something that's important to me. It's important to me that I'm honest with you.” There is no right or wrong way to say it, so choose what feels comfortable for you.  "I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. I've known this about myself for a long time." "I think I might be gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. I feel attracted to people of the same sex, and I'm not sure what to think about that." OR "I feel like I was born in the wrong body. I think I might feel more comfortable as a boy/girl, doing the types of things that boys/girls do.” “Ever since I was ___ years old, I've known that I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender.” The more you can do to help them understand you, the better.  “This feels natural for me, just like it feels natural to you to be heterosexual. I'm not choosing to be this way; I just am.” “I'm still the same person I was before. I'm choosing to outwardly identify now as gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender, because I've inwardly identified that way for so long.” “I'm attracted to both boys and girls. I'm coming out to you because I feel like I'm punishing myself when I push those feelings down, and I want to be honest about who I am.” “I want to do the types of activities that boys/girls do. They interest me more and feel more natural to me, but it seems unnatural do them right now because I'm a boy/girl.” This will be a big assistance in helping them to understand you.  “I was afraid that you would reject me.” “Our society is so homophobic, and I was afraid of how others might view me.” “I was afraid that it would ruin our relationship, and I value our relationship very much.” “Our religion teaches that being...


Suy nghĩ về khoảng thời gian cuối tuần. Tập trung vào những điều tốt đẹp. Điều chỉnh thái độ. Tạo ra điều gì đó để trông đợi.

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On Friday afternoon, you want to get out of the office or school, and you might leave some loose ends undone. However, if you take some time on Friday to tie up what needs done for the week, you won't have it hanging over your head come Monday morning. Don't leave what you hate for Monday. Similarly, take a look at your schedule so you know what's ahead for the week.  For instance, if you need to see financial aid about a problem, go ahead and get it done on Friday. Don't wait until Monday. Similarly, if you have meet with a client you don't particularly like dealing with, go ahead and see him or her on Friday rather than leaving it to the next week. As a parent, maybe you want to schedule a fun outing on Monday and finish up some of the housework on Fridays to be ready for the weekend. Don't just look at what you need to do that you hate. Look at what you enjoy doing, and focus on that. For instance, maybe you hate cold-calling people. Try to put that out of your mind, and focus on the fact that you get to design a new header this week, if that's something you love doing. Maybe you have a class that you just don't like. Focus instead on the classes you love, or try to find something you like in the class. Your problem with work may not be one that can be solved with any outside intervention. It may just take a change of heart on your end. If you look on your work as solely a chore to be pushed through, then you will continue to dread Mondays. You have to think of work as just another part of your life that has both its ups and downs like any other part. Of course you love staying home with your kid because you love your kid. However, maybe you're finding you just don't like it, and you're still stuck in that situation for a while. Focus on the good parts of staying at home to help change your attitude towards, such as getting to spend time with a great kid. Whether it's a simple dinner with your family or a post-work drink, always have a little reward at the end of the day on Mondays.


Suy nghĩ về ký ức xấu khi thực hiện những điều vui vẻ. Hình thành ký ức mới. Tìm cách để cải thiện ký ức xấu. Xem xét việc trò chuyện với nhà trị liệu.

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One way to overcome the bad feelings associated with a memory is to teach yourself to associate the unpleasant memory with good things. Your goal is to make these painful memories less painful through positive association.  Do something that makes you happy while thinking about a bad memory. For example, you could reflect on the embarrassment you felt when you broke up with your partner while listening to soothing music. Or, take a comfortable bath with scented candles while thinking about a time that you lost your job. If positive association does not seem help, then you can try also listening to loud white noise to drown out painful memories. Consider surrounding yourself with radios all turned to static, or other white noise generators while meditating on the painful memories. Another great way that you can get rid of old memories is to get out and form some new ones. Even if you're not doing things related to the memory you'd like to forget, forming new memories will push the things you want to forget out of the way. Some things you can do to start forming new memories include:  take up a new hobby  read a new book watch a movie find a new job  make some new friends You may be able to replace a memory that you want to forget by building new memories that are similar to the old one. Try to seek out ways to experience positive things that are similar to the memory that you want to forget. After a while, your mind will start crossing its pathways and the original memory won’t be as strong.  For example, if you want to forget a trip you took to San Francisco, consider making another trip to San Francisco or take a trip to somewhere near there. Visit Berkley, Oakland, or Palo Alto. During your trip, buy new t-shirts, take new beach photos, and check out new restaurants. If your ex's cologne is stuck in your mind, head to the fragrance counter. Smell every single kind of men's cologne you can, clogging your mind with new scents and different kinds of fragrance. Go on dates. If you are bothered by memories of an...


Suy nghĩ về lý do bạn muốn khép bản thân vào kỷ luật. Hình dung mục tiêu của bạn. Lên kế hoạch hành động. Chuẩn bị hành động và quyết định thời điểm bắt đầu. Lường trước những vấn đề tiềm tàng và lên chiến lược để vượt qua chúng. Cập nhật báo cáo tiến độ thường xuyên và xem xét kế hoạch. Biến đổi những lỗi lầm của bạn.

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Is there a particular goal you're trying to achieve but you feel certain obstacles are getting in the way?  Maybe you want to become an early riser, but have a habit of sleeping really late.  Maybe your once-stellar musical skills are deteriorating because of lack of practice. Or perhaps you're trying to lose weight, but don't like to exercise. Set some time aside to think through this so that you can narrow down your goal-setting. Visualization is key to successful goal-setting. For one, you must think clearly about your goals and clarify what they look like. Then, you must surround yourself - either physically or mentally - with these goals.  One specific form of visualization that has been shown to be very effective at helping you reach goals is called process simulation. This tactic involves envisioning yourself taking the necessary steps to accomplish a goal, rather than just imagining the end result.  Other ways to practice visualization can be done through daily meditation or by creating a vision board of your goals. This can be done in table form, either by hand or by using a PC package such as MS Word or Excel.  Don't worry about filling it in at this point. That's next! Consider adding a relevant goal title at the top of this form, such as Workout Regularly. After doing that add the following column headings in sequence:  Action Time to Begin Potential Problems Strategies to Overcome Potential Problems Progress Report Once done, fill in the column boxes under the appropriate headings. Actions will be the steps you must attempt to work towards your goal. After you come up with some meaningful action steps. think of a time to start your new self-discipline goal.  Your action steps could be anything from limiting time spent on unproductive activities that keep you from completing your workout, or making sure your gym clothes are already laid out the night before. If thinking of ideas is something you are finding difficult, brainstorming is a helpful technique for this. You might also find that asking a...


Suy nghĩ về lý do mà bạn muốn sinh con. Lựa chọn thời điểm phù hợp để trò chuyện. Trình bày cảm xúc của bản thân. Hỏi thăm mối lo ngại của vợ/chồng bạn. Mở lòng lắng nghe.

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Before you strike up a conversation you’re your spouse about having kids, take some time to examine your own reasons for wanting to have kids. Write them out in as much detail as possible to help you prepare for a conversation with your spouse. Consider whether your motivation is internal or external. Do you want to have kids because you think your friends and family expect you to do so? Or do you have an internal desire to have kids? How can you tell that your desire is rooted in yourself? Don’t approach your spouse at the end of a stressful day or when he or she is distracted. Instead, plan your conversation for a time when you and your spouse are relaxed and can devote your full attention to the matter. For example, you might plan to talk on Saturday morning after you have had breakfast. Make sure that you sit down face to face and put away all distractions (cell phones, laptops, etc.) when you have your conversation. Be honest and tell your partner why you want to have kids. Use the notes that you made to help you explain point-by-point why having children is important to you and why you want to do it now. State your case in a calm, clear voice and be as detailed as possible about your reasons. If your partner is not ready to have children, then it is important for you to hear about the concerns that he or she has about the process. Ask your partner to share his or her concerns with you and to be as honest as possible. Even if your partner is 100% against having children, it is important for you to listen to your partner with an open mind and to show that you respect his or her desires. Make sure that you maintain eye contact, nod to show that you are listening, and ask questions if your partner says anything that you do not understand. If your partner is in favor of having kids, then you will need to talk about your readiness and determine if there is anything that you need to do before you get started.


Suy nghĩ về lý do tại sao bạn lại sợ yêu. Suy nghĩ về mối quan hệ tình cảm trong quá khứ của bạn. Nhìn lại thời thơ ấu của mình. Xem xét một vài nỗi sợ yêu phổ biến. Xác định xem liệu bạn có nghĩ rằng mình xứng đáng được yêu không. Xác định xem bạn có đang gặp phải khủng hoảng liên quan đến tình yêu trong cuộc sống hiện tại không.

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The first step in dealing with your issues with loving and/or being loved is to identify the fear that is holding you back. There are many different types of fear that can cause a person to fear loving someone or being loved.  Consider your feelings and try to figure out what your main concern is. What are you afraid might happen if you allow yourself to love or be loved? Try writing about your feelings to explore them in more depth. Writing about your fears concerning love may help you to identify the root of your fears and the act of writing may help you to work through some of your feelings as well. One way that you can start to understand your fear regarding loving or being loved is to think back on your past relationships. Consider the problems that arose in the relationship and how you contributed to those problems. What did you struggle with in the relationship? What did you fight about? If you broke up, what was the reason for the breakup? In what ways did you contribute to problems in the relationship? What thoughts caused you to respond in the ways that you did? Sometimes childhood experiences can contribute to our ability to love and be loved. If you had some difficult experiences as a child, you may be carrying to feelings into your adult relationships. Consider things that happened to you or around you as a child and how they might be affecting you as an adult. Was there a lot of fighting in your household when you were a child? Did you feel rejected or unloved by one or more of your parents? How did these experiences make you feel? Many people have fears when it comes to loving and being loved. Among those fears are the fear of getting hurt, fear of hurting someone, and fear of commitment. Consider these different types of fears and try to determine if your feelings align with any of these categories.   Fear of Getting Hurt  If you have been hurt in previous relationships, you know how painful it is and may want to protect yourself from ever feeling that way again. As a result, you might try to...


Suy nghĩ về lỗi lầm của mình đến gốc rễ của vấn đề. Bắt đầu bằng câu nói đơn giản "Anh xin lỗi. Nếu cô ấy bảo bạn đi đi, hãy nói rằng bạn muốn xin lỗi. Bình tĩnh giải thích lý do đằng sau hành động của bạn. Dành cho nàng thời gian phản hồi. Nói rằng bạn sẽ để cô ấy yên tĩnh nếu nàng cần.

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Anyone can say they are sorry, but not everyone can mean it and back it up with a solution. Be aware that your girlfriend might expect you to think about your actions and/or words for a while before apologizing to her. Before you issue your apology, have solid answers about:  Why you did what you did, or said what you said, to upset her. What aspect of your personality that comes from. How you plan on fixing it so that neither you nor your girlfriend will have to go through the pain again. " Don't hem or haw, or try to apologize without actually saying "sorry." Your girlfriend probably wants to hear those exact words, so be prepared to say them up front. Tell her you really want to fix the problem and get your relationship back on track. Don't yell or talk over her; you may frighten or upset her and make things worse. If she seems really upset and doesn't want to handle your apology right now, leave. Ask her if you can give her a call in a couple days. If you thought about the problem (Step 1), you should have a pretty good idea about what and why you did wrong, and how you can fix it in the future.  Example: "I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have lied to you or your parents about my age. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't want you or them to not trust me because I'm older. I really care about you and your parents, so I plan on apologizing to them directly. I understand if you or they are still mad at me after this."  Example: "I shouldn't have looked at Stacy the way I did. I know that she's your friend, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you or your relationship with her. I don't have an excuse for my actions, only an explanation: lots of guys look at girls. Now that I know it really bothers you, I'll try my hardest not to make the same mistake again."  Example: "I apologize for calling you that name — I'm not even going to repeat it. It was wrong and degrading. I recognize that. I shouldn't have gotten worked up, and I shouldn't have let that slip. I realize...


Suy nghĩ về mục tiêu lâu dài của bản thân. Xác định điều mà bạn muốn thay đổi. Đọc lại toàn bộ mọi thứ mà bạn đã viết. Chia nhỏ mục tiêu lớn lao trong danh sách thành mục tiêu nhỏ hơn. Thực hiện công việc có thể giúp bạn tiến gần hơn đến mục tiêu.

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What are your long-term goals? Think about where you see yourself in ten years. Do you want to be a home owner? Do you want to be running the company you work at now? Do you want to be married with some kids? Consider whether or not you are moving in the right direction to achieve your long term goals. If not, you will need to identify some areas for change. Sometimes change is so big and so scary that you don't want to contemplate it at all. But you can do something about that, and you can do it right now. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Brainstorm and write out your answers to the following questions as quickly as you can. Don’t get hung up on grammar, spelling, or punctuation, just write.  What's working well in my life right now? List some of the positives about your life as it is right now. To make a change, you need to be aware of what you like as much as you're aware of what you don't like so that you don't end up wrecking the positives in your life. You can also list some of your strengths here so that you know what you have to draw on as you go through the change process. What are the areas of my life I want to change? Do you hate your job? Are you in an unhappy marriage? Write down the parts of your life that are making you really unhappy. Pick out the top 3 to 5 things you'd like to change. Again, quickly and without too much thinking, write down the steps that you can take to make changes. Do not overwork this––there is plenty of time for fine adjustment later. You've just created a quick, personal road map for change. Over time, you can refine this road map, For now, you've broken down those large and looming "it's all too hard to change" feelings and turned them into some concrete steps. Read through what you have written to solidify them in your mind and start working towards these goals. Having a large goal like “become a millionaire” is great as a long term goal, but it does not give you concrete items to work on. To achieve a goal, you need to break it into smaller, more realistic goals....


Suy nghĩ về nguyên nhân gây tăng cân. Quyết định xem liệu bạn có muốn giảm cân. Cân nhắc về yếu tố di truyền. Tìm mua trang phục tôn dáng.

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How you cope with weight gain depends on the stimulus for the gain. You need to think carefully about these reasons before you can decide how to take action.  If you have gained weight as a result of a medical condition, consider talking to your doctor for an examination or medication change.  If you have gained weight after recovering from an eating disorder, congratulations. It takes a great deal of courage to see your weight rise when every part of you wants to control it. Remember, returning to a healthy weight is an important step in recovery--keep up the good work.  If you have gained weight after losing a significant amount of weight, know that diets often increase the risk of you gaining the weight back after you return to your normal eating habits. Develop a long-term, non-restrictive system that incorporates your nutrition needs and physical activity for best results. Depending on your case, you may be interested in losing the weight you have gained. If you choose to do this, know that healthy weight loss takes time. Losing weight without gaining it back means adopting a healthier lifestyle; it is not a short-term fix. Talk to your doctor or dietitian about creating a weight loss plan that takes your medical history, lifestyle, and goals into consideration. Somewhere between 25% to 70% of your body is predetermined by genes. If you have mostly been slender your whole life and recently gained weight, it may be the same pattern that your parents or grandparents experienced. You must understand that not every body or frame is meant to be very thin. Focus more on health rather than size, and you will find yourself becoming less insecure about your body. People may gain weight and choose to hide themselves in over-sized clothing. Taking this route can actually make you feel even more insecure. Instead, buy clothes that are tailored to fit your body shape and size. Also, consider pieces that highlight your best features.


Suy nghĩ về những gì đã xảy ra. Thông cảm với suy nghĩ của anh ấy. Đồng cảm.

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He may not be talking to you or hanging out because he’s either angry about something you did or he’s made new friends and is busy with other things.  If he’s changed how he acts around you because he’s no longer interested in being friends (or partners or whatever), there’s not much you can do to change that. In those situations, it has to do with him, not with you. If you think he may be angry, think about why. People get angry when they feel like you did something that had a negative impact on them. So the first step on the road to reconciliation is figuring out what you did to trigger him. Remember that sometimes what seem like minor actions or decisions to us can have big impacts on others, so think not only about what you’ve done recently but about which of your actions might have had negative effects on him. Once you have an idea of what you did that upset him, you can start working on de-escalating the situation. Key to getting someone past their anger or upset is showing them you understand their perspective and recognize how what you did affected them.  Put yourself in his position and imagine how whatever you suspect upset him must have made him feel. Empathize with those emotions and approach him with that empathy in mind. For example, to you, you were just late picking him up because traffic was crazy and you realized you forgot your phone halfway there. It wasn’t a big deal, it just happened that way. But to him, he had to stand out on the curb for 45 minutes when it was dark and cold, even though he told you what time to be there three times, and you promised you would be. Once you have a sense of what may have upset him, make a genuine effort to empathize with how he may be feeling. If you were late picking him up, in addition to thinking about how it might have appeared from his perspective, imagine what it may have felt like. For example, to him, it may feel like you didn’t make him a priority, you didn’t care about his discomfort or whether he had other things to do, and you broke a...


Suy nghĩ về những người xung quanh. Thảo luận nhu cầu của bản thân với người khác. Yêu thương mọi người. Tha thứ cho bản thân và người khác. Đền đáp. Chấp nhận mọi người.

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Believe it or not, humans can “catch” emotions as easily as we catch colds. If you spend a lot of time with people who are happy and positive, you’re more likely to feel that way yourself. If you spend a lot of time with people who are focused on negativity, that will rub off on you as well. Surround yourself with people who care for you, respect you and others, and enrich your life.  Who do you spend your time with? How do they make you feel about yourself? Do you feel respected and validated by the people in your life?  This isn’t to suggest that your friends and loved ones shouldn’t offer constructive critique. In fact, sometimes we need a friend to point out when we’ve done something thoughtless or hurtful. However, you should always feel like your loved ones approach you with kindness and respect, and you should treat them the same way. Learning to  communicate assertively (but not aggressively) can help you feel stronger, more confident, and more fulfilled. Assertive communication acknowledges that both you and others have needs, and works to give everyone a way to be heard.  Be open and honest but don’t use judging or blaming language. If someone has hurt you, it’s healthy to share your feelings with him or her. However, don’t use language that puts blame on the other person, such as “You were so unkind to me” or “You don’t even care about my needs.” Use “I”-statements. Using statements that focus on what you are feeling and experiencing keep you from sounding blaming or judging. For example, “I felt hurt when you forgot to pick me up from work. I felt like my needs were not important to you.” Give constructive criticism and accept it from others. Don’t simply tell others to do or not to do something. Explain why you are asking. Invite others to share their needs and ideas with you. Use cooperative language, such as “What would you like to do?” or “What do you think?” Instead of automatically feeling a need to assert your own point of view, try saying something like “Tell me more” when you hear...


Suy nghĩ về những điều mà bạn muốn nhắn. Cố gắng đưa sự hài hước vào trong tin nhắn. Bạn cần chắc chắn rằng mình đọc hết những gì cô ấy nhắn. Bạn không nên tán tỉnh cô ấy quá nhiều. Bạn phải phát triển mối quan hệ từ việc nhắn tin.

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It can be a good idea to start with generic things and build up to more personal things over time.  For example, you might tell her about upcoming parties and events at the start. Later, you can send texts telling her what you're doing and where you're going. Finally, you can send texts just letting her know that you're thinking about her and the sorts of things you like/love about her. (Do this only if you're in a relationship or you're not worried that she'll find that uncomfortable.) Texting her funny things will help make texting much easier. If you're a funny person, use that. If you're not, try developing inside jokes, playfully teasing her, or simply commenting on funny situations you both are part of. Respond to questions that she asks and also respond in a way that shows that you have read and taken in the things that she has been texting generally. She'll like that. Don't always respond immediately every time she texts you. Wait a couple of minutes before you text back. Switch it up. Sometimes, wait a big longer, sometimes a bit more. Don't lay it on thick, all day, every day. If you've started flirting with her, do it sparingly. A little bit will go a long way. Learn to make your texts a little more diverse by texting about:  Her day-to-day life. "Hows it going?" "How was your day?" and "Do anything fun over the weekend?" are all normal texts. Any problems she is dealing with. Let her come to you with the problems. Don't pry into her life. But try to offer advice if she seems open to it. Things that are happening in your life. You're probably giving her a lot of attention, and that's fine. But maybe, just maybe, she wants to learn about what's happening to you. Share what you're doing, who you saw, and where you're going. A little goes a long way here. Don't get carried away. If you start to develop a relationship with a girl, don't just rely on texting forever and ever. Eventually, you're going to need to move past texting and start hanging out with her, calling her on the phone, and going out on...


Suy nghĩ về sức khỏe của bản thân. Đánh giá sự bền vững của mối quan hệ tình cảm. Đánh giá tình hình tài chính của bạn. So sánh ý tưởng nuôi dạy con cái với nhau. Cân nhắc mức độ gắn bó trong mối quan hệ của bạn.

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Having children requires you and your spouse to be in good physical condition. Take some time to consider how healthy you are and what you can do to improve on your health before trying to become pregnant. For example, if you smoke or your partner smokes, then take steps to quit smoking. If you and your partner are overweight, then take steps to lose weight. Try to pinpoint your health challenges and identify ways that you can improve your health. Before you expand your family, you and your partner should take time to work out any challenges in your relationship. Having children can put a strain on both of you and if you have issues, then it is in your future child’s best interest to try to find a solutions to these issues. For example, if you tend to argue now and then about minor things, then work on improving your communication with your partner. If your issues are larger than small arguments now and then, you may want to consider marriage counseling to help you resolve problems before trying to have a child. Raising a child is expensive, so it is important to consider your ability to provide things like a crib, clothing, food, and toys. If you are struggling with your finances, then you may want to take some time to improve your situation and save a bit of money before you start trying for a  baby. Raising a child also requires lots of teamwork between you and your spouse, so you should be on the same page regarding how you will raise your child. Talk about the values that you and your spouse share and how you can overcome disagreements about values. For example, do you and your spouse share the same ideas about how to discipline your child? Can you agree on what moral values to instill in your child? Do either of you have a strong religious preference? Longer relationships tend to have more stability and this is important for your future child. Consider how long you and your spouse have been together and if your relationship is stable enough for a child. It is a good idea to wait until you have been...


Suy nghĩ về sự thay đổi mà bạn muốn thực hiện. Chuẩn bị sẵn sàng để đối mặt với trở ngại. Bắt đầu tiến hành thay đổi. Duy trì sự thay đổi.

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The first stage of making any change to a behavior is to think carefully about those changes you are about to make.  Think about the benefits of your changes and any difficulties that may present themselves.  Make a detailed list of the benefits and positive aspects that your new behavior will bring. Carefully list out any difficulties that you can think of.  These might be things that cause you to return to your old behavior or prevent you from making your new behaviors habit. For example, increasing exercise can make you more healthy but a lack of time might stand in your way. Before you start taking action and making changes, you will need to make preparations.  The preparation phase involves planning to deal with any obstacles you can see that might prevent you from meeting your goals. By properly preparing, the changes that you want to make will be easier to obtain.  The preparation phase gets you ready to deal with obstacles between you and your goals. For example, if you think a lack of time might be a problem when trying to increase exercise, you will want to start scheduling your time or thinking of ways to exercise in spare moments. After you have thought about which new behaviors you want to work towards, and how to overcome obstacles, you can start to take action.  During this step, your focus will be on tracking your progress, overcoming obstacles, and rewarding the new, desired behaviors.  Track your progress carefully to keep motivated and catch slip-ups. Think ahead to overcome obstacles.  Avoid situations or events that would cause you to slip back into your old behavior. As you meet your goals, you will want to reward yourself.  Try watching one of your favorite films or taking a relaxing bath. Once you have replaced your old unwanted behavior with a new one you have selected, you will need to maintain that new behavior.  Keep your new course of action going strong and continue enjoying this new way of acting.  If possible, try to increase any original goals.  For example, if you wanted to...


Suy nghĩ về sự tương đồng giữa bạn và người khác. Tạo cuộc trò chuyện nhỏ với người mà bạn có tương tác. Đặt bản thân vào hoàn cảnh xã hội. Kết nối với người cùng sở thích. Làm tình nguyện trong cộng đồng.

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Oftentimes, loneliness stems from the thought that your own experience is drastically different from that of others. But we all experience the same emotions, from joy and love to disappointment and anger. Consider how the human experience is universal. If you're feeling lonely, it can help to have a brief conversation with the grocery store clerk or the bank teller. This will help you feel a connection with someone, even if you don't have a lengthy conversation with this person. Even a simple act like saying hello to your neighbor can help you feel more connected. This might even be the impetus you need to start a conversation that will result in a lifelong friendship. You might feel lonely because you're shy or because you're new to a school. One of the ways to overcome loneliness is to be brave and take a risk. Put yourself out there by starting a conversation with someone who seems interesting. Or, ask an acquaintance if they'd like to go on a hike with you. You never know. This person might feel just as lonely as you and might appreciate your invitation. You may feel lonely because you have specialized interests. Perhaps you're really into mountain biking, but you don't know anyone else who does this too. Search online for a club in your community that does this activity. If you can't find someone in your local area, chances are you will be able to locate a group that gathers virtually. When you feel lonely, you tend to focus on your own feelings and how your needs are not being met. If you turn your attention to the needs of others, you can redirect your emotions. Find a nonprofit organization in your community. You can volunteer at an animal shelter, for example.


Suy nghĩ về thành công trong quá khứ. Thử bắt đầu. Loại bỏ sự mất tập trung. Cạnh tranh. Nhận được sự ủng hộ.

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If you are struggling to get motivated, think about other times where you were able to stay on track and accomplish your goals. Think about the outcome of what you accomplished and how you felt when you succeeded. For example, if you are struggling with motivation to exercise, think about a time when you powered through and exercised and felt great afterwards. Think about how you felt during your workout, and how you felt about yourself afterwards for pushing yourself to pursue a worthy goal like getting fit. Even if you don't feel motivated, just try getting started anyways. Sometimes we build things up in our minds and make them seem like they are going to be way worse than they actually are. This is called affective forecasting, and we tend to be terrible at it. By the time you get started you will often find that things aren't so bad. For example, if you are having trouble getting motivated to write a book, open the keyboard and just start typing. Tell yourself that you will type for 5 minutes and if you still aren't motivated you will stop. You may find that by tricking yourself into starting, you will gain motivation and continue to write for much longer than 5 minutes. Part of the battle with motivation is that there are often other seemingly more interesting things in our environment vying for our attention. You can help become motivated to do something by removing the possibility to engage in other actions.  For example, if you are trying to get motivated to do your homework but you keep getting distracted by text messaging friends or browsing the web on your phone, then turn your phone off. Once your phone is off, place it somewhere that you cannot see it, such as deep in your bag. Make it difficult to get to; move your bag so that it is out of your reach. Once you no longer have the easily accessible options of texting with friends or browsing the web, you may find that the alternatives to not doing your homework are not as exciting, and so finding the motivation to do your homework may become...


Suy nghĩ về tình cảnh hiện tại. Xác định ý nghĩa sự kết thúc với bạn. Viết ra cảm nhận của bản thân. Trao đổi với chuyên gia.

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There are lots of different reasons why you might want to get closure on something. For example, you might want closure regarding a breakup, something bad that happened to you as a child, or something that you did to someone else. Whatever the situation or your reasons for wanting to get closure, you will need to identify them to move forward.  Try to pinpoint the situation that you are seeking closure for and the reasons why you want to get closure. What person or experience are you holding on to and why?  For example, perhaps you were bullied when you were a child and it's still affecting your life and self-esteem. Or, perhaps you suffered the effects of domestic violence when you were growing up. Keep in mind that seeking closure for something traumatic that happened to you can be difficult without the help of a trained mental health professional. Consider seeking help from a counselor before you begin this process. Rather, plan a roadmap of the progress you hope to make. Now that you know how you feel about what happened, think about how you would like to feel. What would it help you to know? What do you want for yourself? For instance, closure might mean that you get your self-esteem back after a breakup, in which case you should plan to focus on yourself, let go of thoughts of your ex, have fun with friends, and eventually start dating again. Or, closure might mean that you stop replaying an incident from your childhood over in your head. Writing about what happened is a good way to understand it better and start working towards closure. Writing can also help you to clarify your feelings about what happened. However, keep in mind that writing about your feelings is often the most difficult part of getting closure, so you should do this in the safety of a trained therapist's office. Reflect on the situation for which you are seeking closure and write down as many details as you can. Try to write out exactly what happened, every detail you remember, and how each part of it made you feel. Not having...


Suy nghĩ về tất cả những điều tốt đẹp mà cuộc sống ban tặng cho bạn. Nghe các bản nhạc vui. Tránh xa những người tiêu cực. Theo đuổi sở thích giúp bạn thư giãn. Thực hiện những hành động tự phát. Làm một việc tốt mỗi ngày. Dành thời gian cho tiếng cười. Vây quanh bản thân với gia đình và bạn bè.

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For every negative thought you have, remind yourself of the good things in life. Friends, family, chocolate, sky diving, wine, your dog, Netflix -- whatever makes you feel good! Music has the power to transport people, take them away from their problems, lift their spirits and give them inner peace. It doesn't matter what music you choose - it could be Beethoven or Britney Spears - as long as you find it uplifting and empowering. Just like smiling and laughter is contagious, so too is bad humor and aggression. This is why you should make an effort to avoid people who gossip, cause problems for others, or constantly walk around with a scowl on their face and a cloud over their head. Surround yourself with happy, positive people instead and you'll find yourself smiling unconsciously. The more relaxed you feel, the better the world looks, and the easier it is to smile. A relaxing hobby will give you the opportunity to take some time for yourself and be at peace with the world, without the pressure of interacting with others. Consider taking up something like yoga or sailing. Or simply steal away for an hour or two to soak in a relaxing bath. Life is about adventure and making the most of the opportunities thrown your way. Add some excitement to your life by doing something spontaneous every once in a while, like walking in the rain, sketching an object or person that catches your eye, or randomly calling your friends up for a night on the town. You'll make wonderful memories -- each of them contributing to a happy life. Taking the time each day to do a good deed will make you feel better about yourself, while also helping to make the world a better place. It doesn't need to be anything huge -- you could make a small donation to charity, hold the elevator door for someone, buy the coffee of the person standing behind you -- anything that makes someone else's day a little easier or nicer. Their smile of appreciation will keep you buoyed up all day long. They say laughter is the best medicine, so get your daily...


Suy nghĩ về từng lời bạn sẽ nói. Cẩn thận với cách thể hiện. Theo dõi tốc độ nói của bạn. Tiếp tục củng cố bản thân. Chuyển hướng cuộc đối thoại.

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The last thing you want is to add to your friend’s negativity by being too critical or hostile. If you would like to tell your friend that you think he is seeing a situation more negatively than necessary, think about the best way to say this. Use "I"-statements rather than "you"-statements. For example, “Quit being so negative” is going to have less of a positive effect than “I feel like there’s more to the situation than you’re seeing.” "I"-statements sound less judgmental, which can make the other person more open to hearing what you have to say. What you say isn’t the only important factor. Tone and nonverbal cues are just as important. Yelling or throwing your hands up in defeat are going to increase negativity in the room rather than work to fight the fire effectively.  Gentle eye contact and nodding along to what your friend is saying, if you agree, are great ways to create a positive interaction. Maintain an even tone of voice. Staying calm when your friend blows up may help her realize that there's more than one way to respond to a problem. Research shows that speaking slowly causes people to perceive you as “more caring and sympathetic.” In order to communicate with a negative friend in a way that promotes positivity and keeps you from falling into the same negativity, pay attention to how fast you are speaking. You want to be compassionate and positive in your approach, but that’s not the same thing as allowing yourself to be stepped on. Sometimes a negative friend may try to override your opinions. Maintain a firm stance when it comes to your freedom to express yourself and have a differing point of view. Assertiveness is about meeting the needs of everyone involved, not just one person.  Clearly express your desires, wants, and needs. Use direct language that can’t be contradicted. For example, say “The way that you’re acting right now makes me uncomfortable. I’m going to leave, but we can talk later if you want.” Include empathy. For example, “I understand that you want to keep talking about...


Suy nghĩ về việc bạn muốn đạt được gì từ việc tập thiền. Tìm nơi nào đó yên tĩnh và không bị làm phiền. Sử dụng đệm ngồi thiền. Mặc quần áo thoải mái. Chọn thời gian tập khi bạn cảm thấy tâm hồn sảng khoái. Chuẩn bị đồng hồ bấm giờ.

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People come to meditation for a wide range of reasons — whether to improve their creativity, help visualize a goal, quiet their inner chatter, or make a spiritual connection. If your only goal is to spend a few minutes every day being present in your body without worrying about everything you have to do, that’s reason enough to meditate. Try not to over-complicate your reasons for meditating. At its core, meditation is just about relaxing and refusing to be caught up in everyday anxieties. Especially when you’re just starting out, it’s important to clear your environment of distracting sensations. Turn off the TV and radio, close your windows against the street sounds outside, and close your door to noisy roommates. If you share your home with roommates or family members, you may find it difficult to find a quiet space where you can focus on meditation. Ask the people you live with if they would be willing to keep quiet for the duration of your meditation exercise. Promise to come tell them as soon as you’re finished, so they can resume their normal activities.  A scented candle, a bouquet of flowers, or incense can be great little touches to enhance your meditation experience. Dim or turn out the lights to help you concentrate. Meditation cushions are also known as zafus. A zafu is a circular cushion that allows you to sit on the ground while meditating. Because it does not have a back, as a chair does, it doesn’t let you slump back and lose focus on your energy. If you don’t have a zafu, any old pillow or sofa cushion will do to keep you from getting sore during long stretches of cross-legged sitting. If you find that sitting without a chair-back hurts your back, feel free to use a chair. Try to be present in your body and maintain a straight back for as long as it feels comfortable, then lean back until you feel you can do it again. You don’t want anything to pull you out of your meditative thinking, so avoid restrictive clothing that might pull on you, like jeans or tight pants. Think about what you might...


Suy nghĩ về việc theo đuổi sự hoàn hảo. Đặt vấn đề nếu bạn đang cố chứng minh bản thân. Cân nhắc nền văn hóa của chúng ta có thưởng công cho các định hướng mục tiêu. Chú ý khi nào sự nghiêm khắc trở thành sự phòng thủ. Tìm hiểu một số ảnh hưởng quan trọng hóa.

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Excessive seriousness can sometimes come from trying too hard to live life in a particular way. Say you are highly focused on the goal of eating well, preparing only gluten-free, super-food meals for yourself. Chances are good that if somebody offers you some cake at a birthday party, you'll get stern, uncomfortable, and give a long-winded explanation about your diet. Imagine what the person who offered you the cake is thinking: "Geez, it's just a piece of cake. What's the big deal?"  While goals are great, pursuing them with such fervor can make tiny setbacks seem like enormous hurdles, causing the things that you take seriously to become more and more minute. Research actually exposes that perfectionism is linked with less success and productivity because it often comes along with procrastination. Sometimes seriousness happens when we see everything as evidence of our abilities and value as people. Remember that student who acts like every tiny assignment is as important as the final exam? Even one bad grade signals that he is a bad student, on track to fail.  When everything feels like a performance of your worth, even trivial tasks or errands become moments where you need to prove yourself. Also try to pick up on whether or not vulnerability is difficult for you. At work and at home, we are subtly asked to put up strong fronts of high, expert functioning where all facets of life are concerned. The result is that we become reluctant to show any signs of uncertainty or emotional reactions to stress. This can be even more pronounced if you have high expectations put upon you, or if those in your life already see you as high achieving. Are you trying to maintain your reputation of being a do-all hard worker? With capitalist society's great focus on efficiency and productivity, being able to set and reach goals is esteemed to the utmost. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that this is just one tactic that is particularly good for business. When it is applied to all areas of our lives, we get convinced that...


Suy nghĩ về điều bạn biết về người ấy. Chú ý đến mức độ thường xuyên người ấy liên lạc với bạn. Suy nghĩ về cách cư xử của người ấy khi liên lạc với bạn. Chú ý đến khoảng thời gian họ cần để liên lạc với bạn. Quan sát ngôn ngữ cơ thể của người ấy. Chú ý xem liệu họ có xuất hiện tại nơi bạn thường đến.

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Tuning in to your knowledge of yourself, your ex, and your relationship is the best possible way to know how to interpret observed behavior. Think back about your relationship and how your ex communicates and deals with conflict. Is he blunt and straightforward? Then he's probably not hiding his feelings and you'll be able to tell if he misses you. Did he used to avoid you when he was mad and upset? Then his silence now probably means he's not pining for you — he's probably upset and angry and doesn't want to talk. Is he someone who lingers on things and dwells on the past? Then maybe he is thinking a lot about you. Use what you know about your ex and his personality to interpret his behavior toward you. Keep in mind that behavioral interpretations are filtered through the observers biases and wishes (when it's a personal relationship), and thus you tend to see things that are not actually there. If your ex is big on texting and you haven't heard a word from him since your breakup, don't try to interpret that silence to mean he misses you — he'd probably be texting you if he missed you. Try to look at his behavior from a more objective perspective. If your ex doesn’t miss you, she probably only contacts you if she really has to (for example, to arrange picking up her things from your house). If she does miss you, she will probably have a hard time resisting the urge to call, text, email, etc.  When your ex gets in touch with you, she may not have a specific reason. She might say something like, “Hey! I was just wondering how you’re doing.” An exception to this might be if your ex was the one that ended the relationship, but also expressed a desire to remain friends. If this is the case, getting in touch with you could be a sign that she misses you, but she may also simply be trying to stay friends. If your ex is constantly “drunk dialing” you, which means that she contacts you in the middle of the night after she's had a few drinks (and thus, is less inhibited) there is a pretty good chance that she has some...


Suy nghĩ về điều mà bạn đã làm khiến người kia giận dữ. Thể hiện sự cảm thông và hối tiếc. Nhận trách nhiệm cho hành động của bạn. Đề nghị đền bù.

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If you did something wrong, you may need to remedy the situation by apologizing and making amends.   Don't try to make excuses for your behavior. If you did something to wrong the other party, you need to acknowledge your mistake. Think about whether or not an apology is best during the interaction or later after s/he has calmed down. Assess whether or not an apology would be heartfelt and meaningful to the situation. You should not apologize if you don't mean it, as this might escalate the problem further. You need to show the person that you have remorse for how your words or actions affected him or her.  You may not have intended to make this person angry or hurt his or her feelings. Regardless of your intentions, you need to recognize that your behavior had a negative effect on the other person. Frame your apology first around a statement of remorse. For example, you could start by saying "I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings." Your apology needs to include a statement about responsibility to be effective and diffuse the situation. In other words, you need to state how your actions contributed to the other person’s feelings of hurt or frustration.  A statement of responsibility may sound like "I am sorry. I realize that my being late made us miss the event" Alternatively you could say "I am sorry. I know my carelessness caused you to fall" An apology is meaningless unless you state how the situation can be fixed or avoided in the future.  An offer to remedy the situation can include an offer to help the other person or a means by which you not repeat the same mistake again in the future. For example, you could say "I am sorry. I know my being late caused us to miss the event. From now on I will set an alarm on my phone an hour before I need to be ready". Another example would be "I am sorry, I know my carelessness caused you to fall. I will pay better attention to where I put my belongings in the future."