Sadari peran Anda dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Tulislah hal-hal positif (VITALS) yang Anda miliki. Jawablah soal tes asesmen kepribadian. Mintalah orang lain memberikan umpan balik. Bandingkan kepuasan hidup yang Anda rasakan dengan hasil yang dicapai.

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Everybody plays multiple roles in their life based on their personal relationships, work responsibilities, and social interactions. Once you have listed your roles, write down what each one means to you. Some examples of roles include:  Parent Friend Team leader Emotional support Mentor/Mentee Confidante Creator Problem solver VITALS is an acronym that stands for values, interests, temperament, activities, life goals, and strengths. In a notebook or word processor, try to define each of these categories for yourself.  Values: What is important to you? What characteristics do you prize in yourself and others? What motivates you to complete something? Interests: What types of things are you curious about? What do you do like to do in your free time? What fascinates you? Temperament: Come up with ten words that describe your personality. Activities: How do you spend your day? What are the most and least enjoyable parts of your day? Do you have any daily rituals? Life goals: What have been the most important events of your life? Why? Where do you see yourself in five years? What about in ten years? Strengths: What are your abilities, skills, and talents? What are you really good at? While personality tests are not scientific, they do ask questions that force you to consider different aspects of your character. There are many reputable tests that you can take online. These include:  Meyers-Brigg Type Indicator Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment Big 5 Personality Assessment While you should not define yourself by what other people say, asking others for their opinion can help you understand things about yourself that you may not have realized.  Start by asking loved ones how they would define your personality or characteristics. If you’re comfortable, ask your boss, mentor, or acquaintances about how they see your personality. If you disagree with anyone’s observations, that’s OK! These comments don’t define you, and you might find more acceptance from other...


Sadari perasaan Anda. Berfokuslah pada napas. Sempatkan beristirahat. Gunakan visualisasi. Gunakan kata-kata yang tepat.

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Mindfulness in the work place is a great quality to cultivate. Being more mindful can make you more productive at work, and can also decrease your stress. One way to be more mindful is to check in with your emotions, and take note of how you feel when you're at work. Get in the habit of checking in with yourself. You may be stressed out during the day without even being aware of it. Be mindful, and pay attention to signs of tension. If you find your heart race increasing, or that your shoulders are tense, take a minute to remove yourself from the stressful situation and calm down. Being aware of your breath is very important to being more mindful. Taking deep, calming breaths can help you focus and can also help to lower your blood pressure. Before a big meeting, try taking some several deep breaths to gain your composure. Try setting aside two three minute periods per day to practice your breathing. You can do this at your desk. Simply set aside your work for three minutes and allow yourself to concentrate fully on breathing. Research shows that you are actually a more productive person when you allow yourself to take regular breaks. It is important to allow your brain to relax. Part of being mindful is realizing when you need to let your mind drift. It is ideal to take one ten-minute break every hour. If you can't manage that, try taking several thirty-second mini-breaks. During this brief timeouts, let your mind drift and indulge in some daydreams. This technique can help you be a less stressed, more effective person. Try visualizing yourself doing something great. Perhaps you are delivering an outstanding presentation or cooking an amazing dinner for your family. Whatever you see, make sure you are visualizing your best self. Pay attention to both your words and your body language. You want to communicate that you are present and connected to your co-workers, friends, and family. This will make you a more effective communicator, and increase your mindfulness.  Watch the words that you use in workplace...


Sadari perasaan Anda. Kurangi stres dalam hidup. Tetaplah tenang. Beri hadiah kepada diri sendiri.

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Changing your life for the better can be challenging. It is important to take care of yourself and make sure you don't burn out and give up as you embark on the journey of changing your life for the better.  Honor yourself because you are brave just for entertaining the idea of change, especially since it is never easy. Learning about yourself and finding your ability to be courageous, responsible, and empowered can be daunting.  Being honest about your personality, not only how you perceive yourself but how you think others perceive you, can be emotionally wearing.  Making choices about what you want to change in your life can be scary and change itself is exhausting. Be proud of yourself for even attempting to change your life for the better.  Life is hard, and becoming proactive in who you are and what you are capable of takes strength. If you are feeling overwhelmed by all the changes you are making, take a break. Watch a movie or a TV show, read a book, or play a game with a friend. Go for a night out with your friends to unwind and relax. Talk to a friend that always makes you laugh. Take a hot bath or shower to relieve some of your tension. If you want, talk about the changes you feel in yourself with your friends and let them give you advice or support. There are points in the day where everything may seem too much. When this happens, remember to breathe. Take ten minutes out of your day to sit with your hands on your belly and just breathe all the tension and changes out. Remember that changing your life does not mean being perfect.  Every day is a journey, and even the days that make you feel stuck and frustrated are still a part of the strive towards a better life. As you progress through your life changes, take time to reward yourself. Eat some of your favorite candy, go out or cook yourself a nice meal, or buy a new shirt, video game, or other prize you've been eyeing. Try to remember that you are on a journey and that you are amazing for continuing on the path. Reward yourself for embarking on...


Sadari risiko FAS pada anak. Kenali gejala-gejala fisik dari FAS. Amati gejala-gejala otak dan pusat saraf. Amati ada atau tidaknya kelainan pada perilaku dan kemampuan sosial.

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The exact cause of FAS is alcohol consumption. The more you drink while pregnant, especially during the first trimester, the greater the risk of your unborn fetus developing FAS. Being aware of your child’s risk for this disease can help you recognize it and get a diagnosis and treatment in a timely manner.  Alcohol reaches the developing fetus through the placenta and causes higher blood alcohol concentration levels in a fetus than in you. A fetus metabolizes alcohol at a much slower rate. Alcohol interferes with oxygenation and nutrition delivery to your unborn baby. This can severely impact the fetus’s developing tissues and organs, including the brain. You may have consumed a lot of alcohol before you realized you were pregnant, putting your unborn baby at risk for FAS. Keep this in mind during and after your pregnancy. There are many different physical symptoms of FAS that may be mild or severe. From distinctive facial features to slow growth patterns, identifying these common markers may help get your child a diagnosis and medical treatment.  Symptoms can appear while the baby is still developing in utero or at birth. They may also only present later, such as behavior issues. Facial features such as wide-set eyes; an extremely thin upper lip; a short, upturned nose; and lack of lip folds between the nose and upper lip may indicate FAS. A child with FAS may also have narrow and small eyes.  Deformed joint and limbs may indicate FAS. Slow growth patterns both before and after birth may indicate FAS. Vision and hearing issues may indicate FAS. Small head circumference and underdeveloped brain may indicate FAS. Heart defects and issues with kidneys may also indicate FAS. Many symptoms of FAS resemble those of other diseases and conditions. If you suspect your child or another might have FAS, it’s important to see a doctor and/ or get a second medical opinion. FAS may also present itself as problems with a child’s brain and central nervous system. From poor memory and hyperactivity, observing these common...


Sadari setiap kali Anda berpikir negatif. Ubahlah pikiran negatif menjadi pikiran positif. Jangan menilai diri sendiri berdasarkan kondisi lingkungan. Lakukan aktivitas di luar rumah dan kembali bersosialisasi. Biasakan berpikir jernih. Berolahragalah Lakukan meditasi dan ucapkan mantra yang bermakna berulang-ulang. Tentukan arti kehidupan bagi Anda. Sisihkan waktu untuk menikmati hal-hal menyenangkan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Bantulah orang lain.

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It is important to realize your negative thinking so that you can begin to change negativity into positivity. Negative thinkers tend to always anticipate the worst in a situation. In addition, they are quick to blame themselves for anything bad that has happened. Moreover, negative thinkers tend to magnify the negative aspects of any given situation. They also tend to polarize a situation, only seeing things as good or bad. Try to check in on your thoughts regularly during the day. Identify what you normally think about in a negative way and put a positive spin on your thoughts. It also helps to surround yourself with positive people, as negative people can increase stress and increase your own negativity. Here are some examples of changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts:  This is scary, I've never done it before. = I have a great chance to do something different. I'll never get better at this. = Let me try this one more time. This is too big of a change. = Let's try something new and exciting. It can feel like where you are in life defines who you are. If you're in an environment that sucks, it can be hard to remain positive. Focus on your innate qualities, rather than the situation around you. Remember: the situation is always temporary.  For example, if you're worried about being unemployed, remember that your job status doesn't define you as a person. Consider this an opportunity to pursue a new direction, or search for meaningful work in another area, such as volunteering or focusing on your family. If you're feeling like your life sucks because you're being bullied, remember that bullies take their own insecurities out on others. Their actions only reflect on them, not on you. Inform the proper authorities, such as your parents, a counselor, or principal, and stay strong. Oftentimes people who feel that their life sucks will remove themselves from social contact. Ironically, this can be a further cause of depression. Take small steps to get yourself back into social circles again.  Try meeting...


Sadari siapa audiens Anda. Buat pengaturan waktu ketika menceritakan suatu kisah atau lelucon. Buat lelucon tentang diri sendiri. Pilih target dari orang-orang terkenal. Hindari menceritakan lelucon lama.

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Be aware of what kind of people you are speaking with, and what makes them laugh. Remember that just because you think something's funny, it does not necessarily mean that the people around you will. You need to know your audience before you can make them laugh!  Be aware that humor changes with age. Older individuals are less likely to laugh at sexual or aggressive types of humor, while the right younger audience may appreciate it. Note that inside jokes, particular group stories, or practical jokes are usually best shared with close friends. You do not want to make someone feel left-out because they don't understand the context. Unless you share similar views, avoid joking about religion or politics.  Use humor to make people feel more comfortable and positive, do not single them out or belittle their appearance or beliefs. Professional comedians say timing is everything and key to comic delivery. Stories and jokes are made more funny when the teller pauses right before the punchline to build drama and anticipation. You can also wait to laugh until a couple seconds after the punchline, that way people can never be sure if you are joking or not. Always give your audience time to laugh before moving on to a different topic.  If you notice something funny, do not wait too long to point it out. Seize the moment! Asides, which are sarcastic or funny comments inserted into conversation, work well when delivered quickly. Keep stories short and simple, as too much background or too many tangents will distract the audience. Audiences appreciate when you make yourself the target of comedy. It will help them open-up and they will find it easier to laugh at both you and themselves. As a result, people will begin laughing and social anxiety will be reduced.  It is not recommended that you begin by making jokes about someone else. If you are with someone who is able to laugh at themselves, you can gently poke fun at them after you have done the same to yourself. Make sure you don't go too far, as this will turn a...


Sadari situasinya. Sadarilah jika tindakannya mulai tidak wajar. Pertimbangkan peranan hormon pada perilaku mereka. Jangan terlalu memasukkan sikapnya ke dalam hati.

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There is a difference between noticing other people, and actively ogling them. Keep in mind that most men check out women’s bodies without even thinking about it and women check out other women’s bodies as well. Try to be as objective as possible about the situation to determine if there really is something to be concerned about.  For example, if your husband is casting a glance around a room and spending as much time looking at the men's suits as he is looking at the women's dresses, then he is not ogling. If your husband makes a comment that someone looks nice, and his comment is reasonable and not inappropriate (that is, he doesn't say she looks "hot" or "sexy"), it's likely not an issue to worry about. It is normal to notice when people look nice, especially when they go out of their way to dress up or get a new haircut. Consider, if you made a similar observation about a man, would your husband have cause for concern? " If your husband is in fact checking out other women-- that is, his gaze is lingering across their breasts, hips, or butt, or he is making inappropriate comments or facial expressions while looking at them, this is not just normal guy behavior.  Keep in mind that it is disrespectful for your husband to ogle other women, especially in your presence. Some men who ogle women may do so because they were taught that manly men treat women badly. Therefore, it is possible that your husband is just doing what he thinks is expected of him. Men have higher levels of testosterone and testosterone controls the male libido, so noticing women’s bodies is something that men are hard-wired to do. Staring, however, is a behavioral habit that can be changed.  Most men who ogle women developed the habit as teenagers, when their hormones were in overdrive. Looking at an attractive woman and feeling a sexual response gives a chemical response in the brain, which reinforces the behavior as pleasurable and contributes to a real habit that is hard to break.  Because it is a habit, it might be something that your...


Sadari tanda dan gejalanya. Perhatikan gaya hidup Anda. Temui dokter.

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If you have two or more on the list below, it is best to see your doctor for further evaluation. Common signs and symptoms of both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes include:  Excessive thirst Excessive hunger Blurry vision Frequent urination (you wake 3 or more times in the night to urinate) Fatigue (particularly after eating) Feeling irritable Wounds that don't heal or heal slowly People who live a sedentary life (with little to no exercise) are at a heightened risk of Type 2 diabetes. People who are overweight or obese, or who eat more sweets and refined carbohydrates than is ideal are also at significantly higher risk of developing Type 2 diabetes. Note that Type 2 diabetes is acquired in one's life, most often related to poor lifestyle choices, versus Type 1 diabetes which is a condition that most often presents in childhood in which the pancreas simply cannot make use of insulin due to lack of beta cells. The only way to truly confirm whether or not you have diabetes is to see your doctor for diagnostic testing (in the form of blood tests). The numbers that come back on your blood tests will help to classify you as "normal," "pre-diabetic" (meaning you are at very high risk of soon developing diabetes if you do not make some dramatic lifestyle changes), or "diabetic."  It is best to know sooner rather than later whether or not you have the disease, because if you do, prompt treatment is key. The damage that results to your body as a result of diabetes is mostly long-term damage resulting from "uncontrolled blood sugars." What this means is that, if you receive treatment that helps to control your blood sugars, you can avert or at least "push off" (delay) many of the long-term health consequences of diabetes. It is for this reason that prompt diagnosis and treatment are key.


Sadari tentang kebiasaan tersebut. Cobalah untuk lebih banyak berpikir. Biarkan diri untuk hanya berbicara sendiri dalam situasi tertentu. Tuliskan hal-hal yang ingin Anda katakan kepada diri sendiri. Berbicaralah dengan orang lain. Sibukkan diri.

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When you find yourself talking out loud, become aware and acknowledge that you are doing so. You could keep track by tallying the number of times a day you catch yourself talking out loud. Becoming aware of behavior is the first step to reducing it. Try to keep the conversation in your head. As soon as you find you are talking to yourself out loud, try moving the conversation inside your head, to your internal world.  You can even press your teeth down on your lips so you cannot open your mouth. This will help, but keep in mind that it may also look odd to those around you! Try chewing gum too keep your mouth occupied and not able to talk.  If it's too challenging to just start thinking rather than talking, try mouthing the words. This way, the conversation can continue on but won’t be audible to others. Only allow yourself to do it while at home alone or in the car, for example. Be careful with this step, because once you allow yourself to talk out loud, you might start talking to yourself at other times too. Have rules to limit your talking, and if you've followed them for a week, do something to reward yourself, such as watching a movie or allowing yourself a sweet snack. Over time, try to reduce the number of situations in which you allow yourself to talk out loud until you no longer do it at all. Buy a journal for those moments when you find you start talking to yourself. In this way, you can have a written, rather than oral, dialogue with yourself. One way to do this is by writing down your thought then providing a response or answer.  For example, let's say you went on a date but haven't heard from the guy yet. This is one dialogue that you might be tempted to say out loud to yourself, but that you can also write down: "Why hasn’t he called me? Maybe he is busy or maybe he doesn’t like you. Why would you think he doesn’t like you? Maybe he is just really busy with school or maybe you're just not a good match for each other because you don't have the same interests or priorities. Well, maybe, but I...


Sadarilah ada beberapa level kenyamanan. Evaluasilah hubungan Anda dengan orang tersebut. Usahakan untuk lebih sering berbicara dengan teman dan keluarga. Terimalah perasaan terekspos setelah membuka diri. Cobalah menulis di buku harian. Bicaralah dengan profesional jika Anda tidak dapat membuka diri.

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While it's great to communicate authentically and share yourself with others, you must also consider where and with whom you are sharing. For instance, while it's totally appropriate and healthy to open up to your best friend about your painful divorce, it's not so appropriate to share this with the person sitting next to you on the bus. Think about how well you know the person you are thinking about opening up to and if he is trustworthy.  When sharing with others, consider how well you know the person and your comfort level with each other. Try starting small — share only minor things with strangers or acquaintances. And if opening up is new for you, you might start out by sharing minor things with close friends, too, eventually building up to that discussion about your divorce. Keep in mind that sharing personal details strengthens relationships, but it does not establish them. This means that you cannot force a close connection with someone you barely know by sharing something intimate — in fact, this will likely backfire, as sharing too much too soon can be uncomfortable for the other person. Wait until you have established some trust with the other person before you begin to open up. In an ideal world, a person would feel safe opening up to his family and friends, and would receive comfort and validation from them. Unfortunately, families and even friends are not always healthy. While you may wish to open up to your mother or your sibling or your oldest friend, consider whether or not this person has demonstrated that she or he can listen without judgement.  Is this person patient or dismissive? When you or others come to him with a problem, does he listen with understanding, or does he say something like, "That's not a big deal. I don't know why you're worried about that. Suck it up and deal with it!" Does the person often interrupt others or does he allow them to express themselves? Does he make eye contact, nod, and ask questions? Or does he look at his phone, pick at his nails, and then start...


Sadarilah ada beragam jenis hubungan. Berkomunikasilah dengan terbuka. Pahamilah bahwa orang yang aseksual juga bisa intim. Jangan mengharapkan orang aseksual untuk berubah.

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Just as there are friendships, mother-daughter relationships, father-son relationships, and an innumerable amount of other types of platonic (non-sensual) relationships, there are many types of romantic relationships aside from just sexual romantic relationships. Dating an asexual person may open your eyes to new types of relationships, which could include:  Romantic non-sexual relationships, which often involve physical affection, cuddling, and commitment. Aromantic non-sexual relationships, which involve a deep commitment to one another. While these relationships can include physical affection, there is no sexual or romantic element. Regardless of the circumstances, dating is always about getting to know someone better, and dating someone who identifies as asexual is no different. The key to any relationship is free and open communication. It’s important to discuss personal boundaries early in any relationship, so that partners know what is acceptable, what’s unacceptable, and what is and isn’t expected of each other. If you are unsure of something, it’s always best to just ask! It’s important not to be offended if someone you’re dating comes out to you as asexual. It’s not an excuse and it’s not an attempt to get out of the relationship. That person is just trying to be honest and open. Asexual people often partake in romantic partnerships or relationships, but whether a person is open to physical or sexual intimacy depends on the individual. But dating doesn’t necessarily require physical or sexual interaction, and two people can develop a strong emotional or romantic relationship with or without a sexual element: intimacy is much more than just physical touching or sexual activity.  An asexual partner may or may not be open to sexual activity, so it’s important to communicate so that everyone involved is on the same page. Feeling sexual pleasure is different from feeling sexual attraction, and some asexual people can enjoy sex. Conversely, some asexual people are not interested in sex at all, and will...


Sadarilah bahwa Anda dan tubuh Anda sangat luar biasa. Seringlah tersenyum. Rawatlah diri Anda. Ucapkan pernyataan mencintai diri sendiri secara berulang-ulang.

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Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, focus on what you do. If you often get compliments on your smile or gorgeous teeth, relish in these positive traits. Move beyond just the physical and focus on positive things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance. Make a list to post on your mirror. Fill the sheet of paper with all the wonderful characteristics that you like about yourself right now. You might include things like “I am strong” or “I care for animals.” Put as many items on the list as you can, and revisit this list regularly as a mood-booster. Smiling makes everyone more beautiful. When you smile, you reap a multitude of health benefits, such as assisting your body with stress-coping. You make yourself feel brighter and happier. What’s more, you can even make others feel more attractive and help spread positivity to them.  Challenge yourself to smile as much as possible, even when you don’t want to. Give it 24 hours. Practice smiling at yourself in the mirror as you get dressed and prepare for your day. Smile at the strangers you pass on your way to school or work. Notice the reactions you get from smiling. Pay attention to how this makes you feel about yourself. Every body is unique. You can’t really make a huge change to how you look, but you can start today making an impact on how you feel. Turn your focus towards leading a healthy lifestyle. When you are treating your body well, you will naturally have a greater sense of self-esteem and increased well-being.  Fuel your body with plenty of water and real, whole foods, such as vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, whole grains, and low-fat dairy. Exercise regularly to fend off illness, maintain (or lose) weight, and fight anxiety and depression. Reduce stress by engaging in activities that you love. Make time for rest and relaxation. Get adequate sleep to improve your focus and concentration and increase your likelihood of making healthy lifestyle choices. Say “no” to drugs and alcohol, which may make you feel better...


Sadarilah bahwa Anda harus mampu bertanggung jawab. Berikan ruang dan waktu kepada pasangan. Maafkan diri Anda.

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You'll need to make an extra effort to prove your trustworthiness to your partner.  Communicate your plans and respond to your partner's requests for information and reassurance. Note, however, that your past history of cheating does not completely eliminate your right to privacy.  Be mindful of your partner's need for information, but do not feel compelled to provide a full list of your cell phone and social media passwords or to account for your whereabouts at all times.  Such practices perpetuate mistrust rather than allowing you to rebuild your shattered relationship. Do not expect forgiveness -- least of all on your schedule.  Your partner will need to learn he or she has reason to trust you.  Take a "time out" if you find that emotions are running high.  Your partner may need some physical or emotional space to process his or her feelings.  Politely leave the room, go for a walk, or give your partner the freedom to distance him or herself for a period of time.  Consider scheduling specific windows of time to process difficult feelings.  You might set an egg timer for half an hour, for example, and use that limited span of time for discussion.  Doing so provides structure and predictability; you can both focus upon the subject at hand without having the conversation degenerate into "venting" or other unproductive behavior. Forgiving yourself does not mean you're off the hook for the consequences of your behavior, nor does it exempt you from the hard work of taking steps to change your behavior.  Rather, forgiving yourself frees up your mental and emotional energy to move forward.  You can then work on healing your relationship and changing your habits.  Each day is a new day.  When you wake up each morning, remind yourself of your decision to move forward and focus on repairing your damaged relationship. If you find rituals helpful, consider taking a symbolic step such as (carefully) burning or shredding a paper labeled "cheating."  Remind yourself of this action when you're tempted to dwell upon your...


Sadarilah bahwa Anda memiliki kendali atas kehidupan sendiri. Tentukan tujuan hidup. Sadarilah bahwa Anda akan bertemu dengan orang lain. Cari tahu kapan Anda siap untuk menjalin hubungan yang baru.

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You are responsible for your own happiness and your own life choices. No one else is. If you don’t do things to lift your mood and change your life, you will stay sad and could even enter a depression. If you’ve been hurt by someone, don't let them hurt you any more than they already have by sinking into a depression that may stall your life. Having meaningful goals to work toward will give you a compelling reason to stop dwelling on the person you lost and start working to make your life better.  For example, if you’re about to go from high school to college, challenge yourself to get the best marks possible and to get into a college program that you will love. If you’re unsure of what you want to do next in life, take time to explore your options. If you’re in school, see a career counsellor. If you’re not, try asking some close friends and family about your strengths, and what they think you’d be good at. It may not feel like it right now, but you’ll meet someone else who works even better with you. When you meet them, you’ll be grateful that things didn’t work out with the person you’re trying to get over right now. The more you grow, the more you know what works, and this will help you find someone who better suits you. There is no set time for how long it takes to get over someone. It varies by person and relationship — some people may only need a couple of months, while others will need years.  If you’re still thinking about your ex regularly, you will not be able to devote the necessary attention to a healthy new relationship.  It’s important to feel confident in yourself before starting a new relationship. If you’re scared to be alone, this is not the time to start something new.


Sadarilah bahwa Anda memiliki kendali atas perasaan sendiri. Terima perasaan Anda. Rekam perasaan yang Anda alami. Jangan menyiksa diri sendiri. Ingatlah hal-hal buruk yang pernah dialami. Jangan membencinya. Bicarakan mengenai perasaan Anda kepada orang-orang yang dipercaya. Jangan selalu memikirkan atau tenggelam dalam perasaan yang ada. Bersabarlah dengan diri sendiri. Tetaplah bersikap positif.

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Studies have shown that we have a better chance of regulating our feelings when we view them scientifically, as controllable (albeit perhaps unexpected) points of data in the experiment of life.  If you received unexpected results in an experiment, you’d examine the experiment, see where it deviated, and look at the results in light of the deviation. You’d then come up with a plan for your next steps. It may feel sociopathic, but it really can help to approach your broken heart in this way. It may not feel as though you have control over your feelings right now, but with some persistence, you can train your brain to respond in a controlled manner — for example, to view things calmly and objectively instead of taking them personally. Losing someone you love can throw you through a tornado of emotions: shock, numbness, disbelief, anger, sadness, fear — even relief and happiness. You might even feel some of these at the same time.  Instead of fighting your feelings, try to accept them and allow them to just be. It can help to take a step back and try to observe your emotions, detach yourself from them. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is totally natural. You might say to yourself, “I’m grieving the loss of this relationship, and these are the feelings involved with that.” You can do this by writing them down or even recording yourself speaking about them. The important thing is not to keep your feelings bottled up inside, as this can make it more difficult to move on.  Some experts recommend journalling every day. This can help you get in touch with your feelings and even figure out how to get over them. If you’re out and you feel the need to vent, use a notepad or a note-taking app on your phone to jot down what you’re feeling. Recording your feelings can be particularly useful when you want to communicate with the person you miss or are upset with. Instead of contacting them, write them a letter or record yourself saying what you'd like to say to them. Do not send them the message though. This is just...


Sadarilah bahwa ada banyak cara yang bisa Anda gunakan untuk meningkatkan kreativitas permainan secara signifikan. Tentukan tema permainan. Alih-alih mencantumkan nama barang secara eksplisit, cobalah mendefinisikan barang-barang tersebut. Ubah permainan berburu harta karun menjadi permainan bingo. Berikan daftar barang yang perlu dicari dan mintalah peserta menuliskan nama barangnya di ruang kosong yang disediakan. Pertimbangkan usia peserta. Sesuaikan tema daftar harta karun dengan tema permainan.

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This section will give you lots of ideas on how to make your hunt more unique and interesting. It will help you find a theme and design. It will also offer a few creative twists. You don't have to use all of the ideas from this list. Choose the ones that appeal to you the most. This will make it a lot easier to come up with items. If you are having a scavenger hunt as part of a party, consider tying the theme to the party's theme. For example, if your party has a superhero theme, give the scavenger hunt a superhero theme as well. Use items that the superheroes would use, such as masks and capes. Here are some more ideas to get you started:  Base the scavenger hunt off of the guests' interests. For example, if the scavenger hunt is for a literature class, base all of the items of the different books the students are reading. If Harry Potter is on the list, consider including items such as broomsticks, owls, capes, and feather quills. You can even set the hunt up in a library. Base the scavenger hunt off of a holiday. If the hunt is during October, consider giving the hunt a Halloween theme. Have the players search for items that are related to Halloween, such as pumpkins, black cats, bats, spiders, witches, and skeletons. Focus on your location. If your scavenger hunt takes place in a park, scout out the park first and write down some things you notice, such as a weird-looking tree or a particular statue. You don't want the players to look for something that does not exist. Invent your own theme. You can base the hunt off of any theme you want. Here are a few just to get you started: animals, books, food, historical time period,  ocean, movies, musical theater, rainforest, superhero, video games, and so forth. The players will need to figure out what the item is before going to find it. This is great for scavenger hunts that involve taking pictures. You can also make the riddles rhyme. For example:  Instead of writing down "toaster," you could write, "I make toast crunchy and warm." Instead of writing...


Sadarilah bahwa anak autistik memiliki cara pandang yang berbeda terhadap dunia di sekitarnya. Jangan mengartikan kurangnya ketertarikan sebagai serangan personal untuk Anda. Pahamilah bahwa anak autistik mungkin akan memiliki kepekaan sosial yang berbeda daripada orang kebanyakan. Pahamilah bahwa anak autistik mungkin tidak tahu caranya melibatkan diri di berbagai situasi sosial. Bersabarlah dengan kemampuan verbalnya yang terbatas.

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Autistic people simply do not interpret the world the same way that non-autistic people do. When they struggle to interpret things, it can be challenging to talk, listen, and understand. However, autistic people bring a unique and important perspective to the world. For example, some may struggle to understand spoken messages, and prefer to communicate through writing. Their mastery of the written word may later lead to fascinating novels or deeply insightful articles that make the world a happier and better-informed place. Autistic children tend to focus on their passions, and have less interest in other conversation topics. This is not out of dislike of you, but of lack of engagement with the particular topic. On the extreme end of things, some children may have no interest in the topic whatsoever. Get used to their listening body language. Some autistic people may stare in a different direction, fidget, or be completely silent while they pay attention. It may be that they are actually interested; they just show it differently. Autistic people may not understand that they're being rude, realize that you're feeling sad, or even figure out that you want to talk to them. If you believe that they've missed something, tell them directly what it is, and help them act on that information. Although they may want to participate in an activity, it's not uncommon for an autistic child to lack the social skills necessary to join in. They may need coaching on things like starting conversations. They are social in their own way, but you may need to find out how to include them more effectively. This does not mean that they can't learn; in fact, many autistic people are sharp and adaptable learners. It's just a matter of you learning how to speak their language. During this process, you need to remember that their needs are unique and not treat them dismissively.  Children with speech delays can benefit from Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) at as young as 18 months. This can help them communicate more...


Sadarilah bahwa dia bisa saja menolak permintaan Anda. Bangun keberanian Anda. Cobalah meminta bantuan teman Anda untuk menggali ketertarikan perempuan tersebut. Ingat, meminta nomor telepon tidak sama dengan melamar.

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" The girl is not obligated to give you her number just because you ask for it. There may be many reasons why she does not want to give you a way to contact her.  This can also give you confidence, though. Her saying "no" is the worst thing that can happen when you ask for her number. It is easy to build up all the things that could go wrong, but in reality, her saying "no" is the worst it could be. Be prepared for rejection. Rejection is difficult, but once you accept it, the whole ordeal will feel much less intimidating and scary. In addition to being an attractive trait, confidence will make you feel more comfortable while asking her. Read our article on how to be confident for some ideas.  A good way to be confident in this situation is to keep everything in perspective. Asking for her number may seem like a big deal at the time, but you will likely forget how afraid you were in a year's time. Remember that rejection can be overcome, but don't assume it will necessarily be the outcome.  While it may sound silly, try standing in a Superman pose for a few minutes before you ask her. Some experts do believe it really can help increase your confidence. If you are feeling very doubtful that the girl even thinks of you, ask a friend to talk to her about you. Unless she adamantly says that she is completely not attracted to you, do not let her answer influence your decision too much. She may not think of you too much because you have never been confident enough to talk to her.  Be sure that it is a friend you can trust. You do not want your friend to ruin your chances with the girl by making you sound creepy or invasive. The friend should be able to subtly bring you up in a conversation in order to gauge her opinion of you. The girl may respect this less than you simply asking for her number. It can help you gain confidence, but it also adds unnecessary stress to this fairly small situation. Just because you have a girl's number, it does not mean that you are going out with the girl. Asking for her number is...


Sadarilah bahwa hal ini dapat mengubah persahabatan Anda secara permanen. Sadarilah bahwa penolakan merupakan kemungkinan yang serius. Sadarilah bahwa perasaan romantis dapat berubah seiring berjalannya waktu. Sadari bahwa Anda tidak harus melaluinya seorang diri.

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It's an all-too-common tale of woe: someone confesses true love to a best friend only to discover that things aren't really "the same" after. Telling your best friend that you love her forces both of you to re-evaluate the way you look at each other. It's important to weigh the relationship you have now against the one you might have only if everything goes well. If your current relationship is really important to you, you may not want to risk it. The fact that it's almost impossible to go back to "the way things were" after your confession doesn't necessarily mean that you'll ruin your relationship with your best friend. However, it does mean that you'll almost definitely change it. For example, if you used to see movies together in a strictly platonic way, this may become an awkward activity. It's very important not to fool yourself into thinking that you'll live happily ever after with her if you can just tell her how you feel. Doing this is setting yourself up for a huge disappointment if she doesn't feel the same way. You don't have to be a pessimist about your chances, but you do need to be realistic and remember that it's her choice whether things move further — not a sure thing. If you can't bear the thought of rejection, you may want to move on. Remember that rejection doesn't always mean that you're not "good enough." There are a number of reasons why someone may not want to date. For instance, she may not want to have a serious relationship with anyone at the moment. There may even be things that you don't know about that prevent her from dating, like work and school commitments that take all of her time. Did your feelings for your best friend arrive suddenly without warning? If so, you may want to give yourself a few weeks or months to see whether the feelings "stick." Feeling attracted to someone today doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel the same way forever. Don't risk a great friendship with a confession of love only to discover that what you really had was a short-term crush (or, as...


Sadarilah bahwa hidup Anda penting. Putuskan untuk memaafkan. Mulailah membangun kembali kepercayaan diri Anda. Putuskan apa yang akan Anda lakukan selanjutnya.

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There are always other jobs and other people to have healthy relationships with. If the situation is intolerable, don't torture yourself; instead, find a way out. No one should be given the power to "control" your life. It is your life. Don't forget it. Even if you think you'll never be able to find another job, if you're in a toxic work environment, then it's better to leave for your own mental health. For teens who have to wait until they are old enough to get away, seek volunteer work, sports activities, a job or other things that get you out of the home environment. Ask your parents to pay for college if they have the money, then apply to colleges that are out of state. If they argue about it, explain that the college you want to go to is the only one offering "X" (find something realistic and reasonable). Control freaks are riddled with fears and insecurities that leave them always unsatisfied and unhappy. They demand perfection from themselves, something both difficult and often impossible to achieve. Their inability to understand that failure is part of the cycle of life harms their ability to grow into fully competent human beings and stunts them emotionally; that's a fairly sad state to get stuck in. Whatever your own situation, you can leave and find happiness for yourself but unless they make a choice to change their thinking habits, they may never find peace in their lives. Finding happiness does not always mean leaving. You could take up a time-consuming hobby, you could even find religion, to spend less time with the control freak. Remember that their opinion of you does not need to lower your self-esteem.  Focus on you and remember that you are not responsible for the controlling person's transformation. It has most likely taken a hit. Be kind to yourself. If you are under the thumb of a control freak, he or she might have convinced you that you are worthless; he or she does this as a way to stop you from moving on and leaving him or her. Don't believe this devaluing talk for one minute....


Sadarilah bahwa hidup akan berubah. Perluas pengetahuan Anda. Usahakan untuk mempererat hubungan. Diskusikan anggaran dan beban kerja. Usahakan agar suami ikut terlibat sebanyak mungkin.

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Having a baby changes individual lives and that of a couple in significant ways. By understanding and talking about the inevitable changes that will happen, you can prevent misunderstandings and potential problems in your relationship.  Women are hard-wired to focus on nurturing their baby in the first few months after birth. Being aware of this along with inherent changes can help your husband prepare himself mentally.  For example, most women don’t want to have sex in the initial months after giving birth—and some don’t even want to have sex during pregnancy. But men don’t experience this change. Understand that it’s hormonal and make a plan for how you’ll deal with it. There are all kinds of books and websites available to help you prepare for your child. Gather information from your doctor, friends, books, and websites to help you navigate your pregnancy as a couple.  Ask your doctor and friends for tips and resources that can be valuable during and after pregnancy. You may want to consult sources that explain what is happening to your body at every stage so that you and your husband understand the changes you’re both experiencing. One of the best gifts you can give your baby is a strong partnership. Keeping your relationship strong and healthy throughout your pregnancy and beyond can help you effectively prepare and care for your baby.  It’s important at this time to have discussions about all kinds of matters including expectations, family values and how you’ll raise your children. Even if you can agree completely, you can find some kind of compromise that may help to prevent undermining your relationship. Schedule ample time together to enjoy life as a couple. You can go for walks or have more formal date nights or vacations to strengthen your bond. Babies are expensive and require a lot of time and attention. Talking about your finances and how you’ll share the work of taking care of your baby can help avoid miscommunications down the road.  You may want to discuss workload during your pregnancy,...


Sadarilah bahwa jika suatu iklan terlihat terlalu bagus, kemungkinan iklan itu fiktif. Carilah informasi yang konsisten. Buatlah secara tertulis. Jangan menerima bentuk pembayaran yang langka digunakan. Jangan menyerahkan pekerjaan tambahan sebelum pembayaran.

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If the job is your dream job, the pay is unimaginably high, and the office is in paradise, chances are, the listing is probably fake. Either decline the offer or proceed with extreme caution.  Request more details on anything you are unsure of such as timeframes, deadlines and pay. Have a lawyer look over any contracts to ensure you are protected from waiving your rights, lawsuits and/or lack of pay. Analyze your experience with the application process and determine if you are comfortable accepting the job. If something still seems off, its probably a good idea to listen to your gut. If there are any contradictions or confusion with what has been told to you, beware. Inconsistencies are big red flags and can mean that your contact is not providing you with the whole truth. Before starting any work, have information placed in writing and signed by both parties. This can be in the form of an Offer Letter, Contract Agreement, etc. The information covered in the paperwork should include:  Role or job description (what you will be doing at the company). Timeline (when you will begin work; how long your contract is for). Pay (how much you will be getting paid; whether it is based on hourly work or a salary) Pay schedule (when you will get paid). Rights (what legal rights you have with the company). Termination conditions (what happens if you are fired, quit, get laid off, etc.). Rare forms of payment can include discounts, free products and certificates of shares. A company that values your work will pay you really money. If you are promised pay to be sent via a wire transfer, suggest another form of payment as this may be an indication of another scam. Be cautious if asked to provide either another sample or additional work not previously discussed. Instead, ask kindly to be compensated for your initial work before starting on other projects.


Sadarilah bahwa keegoisan tidak sama dengan tidak memberikan apa yang diinginkan. Perhatikan apakah hasil akhir dari kompromi bersifat berat sebelah. Perhatikan adanya tanda-tanda manipulasi emosional. Perhatikan apakah ibu Anda terlalu mengabaikan atau menelantarkan Anda.

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When we say a person is “selfish,” what we often mean is that “She isn’t giving me what I want.” For example, if you ask your mother for a Playstation 4 and she says no, but spends money on new shoes for herself, you may think “She’s just being selfish.” However, this isn’t necessarily true; perhaps she actually needs new shoes to go to work, whereas your Playstation 3 doesn’t really need an expensive upgrade right now. Most people don’t like not getting what we want; that’s natural. But take the time to consider whether this is actually the result of selfish behavior from your mother, or if it is due to something else.  You may also interpret behavior as selfish if it doesn’t meet your needs as you define them.  For example, if you want your mother to do your homework with you every night and she can’t several nights because she has to work, you might feel that she’s being selfish to not meet your needs. You have the right to want your mom to help you with homework, but you should also acknowledge that she has other responsibilities that sometimes mean she can’t help you. In contrast, if you ask your mother to buy you a new pair of sneakers because you’ve outgrown yours and she says no, but then spends money to buy herself something frivolous, this may be an example of selfish behavior because she is not meeting your real needs. Selfishness often results in “win-lose” situations, where one person always comes out ahead and the other behind. Sometimes, this outcome is unavoidable: if you ask your mother to buy you alcohol when you’re underage and she says no (which she should do), you’re going to be in a win-lose situation because she has decided the outcome she wants and you haven’t gotten the outcome you want. However, in most cases, compromise can help the two of you come to an agreement that works okay for both of you. If your mother is never or rarely willing to compromise, she may be behaving selfishly.  For example, if your mother never allows you to use the car to go see friends because she wants you...


Sadarilah bahwa kejahatan yang tidak terlihat itu lebih menakutkan daripada yang bisa dilihat. Buat daftar adegan (shot list) untuk setiap adegan sebelum Anda memulai proses perekaman. Lakukan pratinjau sebelumnya. Buat rekaman-rekaman yang cerah; lebih daripada yang Anda pikirkan. Tentukan batasan-batasan blocking untuk setiap adegan panjang. Buat efek-efek khusus dengan berhati-hati. Rekam adegan-adegan yang menambah ketegangan atmosfer setiap kali memungkinkan.

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The human imagination will almost always conjure up a scarier image than you can show on the screen. Why? Because each person will fill in the images that scare them the most. This is why, in the beginnings of most horror movies, you only get fleeting glimpses of the evil that is lurking in the corners. You might see the aftermath of a murder, or the moment right before the death, leaving you to fill in the blanks yourself. Horror is about fear of the unknown -- so let the audience sit in the dark for as long as possible.  Think of when you were scared of the dark. A rustling sound, a glint of light, a face in the window -- these things are scary because you don't know what they are. And the unknown is always scary.  Let this be your guiding principle while filming. A shot list is simple -- it is every angle that you need to capture each day you're shooting. This helps you work effectively and make sure all the relevant details are on film for the final movie. To make one, simply draw out the scene in basic comic book form. Show every shot that you need to capture, even if it is with stick figures.  Get every single detail you need -- if the audience needs to see the knife on the table, make sure to get a shot of the knife on the table, alone. Movies are not shot like plays, where every scene is captured in real time. Having a shot list shows how you need to move the cameras, get specific information, and line up shots. For example, you may need to show the villain in the window for one second. Instead of trying to get the actors inside to get the scene right, then have the villain pop up, you can simply film the villain popping up then edit it in later. You should be the first one on set and the last one to leave every single day. Things are going to go wrong-- actors get sick, weather won't cooperate, and you have 100's of decisions (lighting, character placement, costumes) that need to be made every hour. The only way to have a successful shoot is to do as much work as you can before you even start: ...


Sadarilah bahwa kelinci adalah jenis hewan yang secara alami dimangsa. Kenali tanda-tanda yang samar dari kelinci Anda. Jangan menggendong kelinci Anda, kecuali si kelinci menyukainya. Hargailah jika kelinci Anda tidak ingin digendong.

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You can think of a rabbit as a 'listener' rather than a 'talker' because their lives are tuned to being on alert for danger. They use a highly developed sense of smell (hence the constant nose twitching), hearing (those wonderful long ears), and prominent eyes to watch for threats. This means it is even more important that you understand your rabbit, so you know what she does and doesn't like. This can minimize her stress. Nature intended rabbits to live underground in tunnels during the day, emerging at dusk and dawn (when it's more difficult for predator's eyes to spot them) to graze on grass and plants. Because they spend the majority of their time in the dark, rabbits make limited use of visual signals, such as nuanced facial expressions or body language. Being picked up by a human can be a terrifying experience to some pet rabbits who go into a catatonic state, where the rabbit lies absolutely still, eyes open and staring, and does a good impression of being dead. Rabbits are ground dwelling animals. In the wild, the only time they leave the ground is when they're picked up by a predator. If that's the case, she will either scrabble, wriggle, and fight so hard you get scratched, or she will go completely still. Far from indicating she appreciates being cuddled, a rabbit that keeps deathly still in your arms is actually pretending to be dead in order to make the predator (you!) give her up as a bad meal and put her back down.  If your rabbit reacts in this way to being picked up, sit on the ground and encourage her to sit on your lap. This way her paws are in contact with a horizontal surface and she can learn to associate you with safety, rather than an instinctively alien and scary experience. If it's essential to pick the rabbit up, place a towel over her eyes, and use the rest of the towel to scoop her up. The darkness will help calm her.


Sadarilah bahwa kesedihan adalah bagian alami dari kehidupan. Berikan diri Anda pembicaraan yang sedikit keras. Hargailah semua hal yang Anda punya. Sadarilah ketika Anda membutuhkan bantuan para ahli. Jujurlah kepada diri Anda sendiri.

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Sadness is a natural part of life and a healthy emotion to have. If you're feeling dead inside because something bad just happened to you, then that's okay. Be sad for a little while. Embrace the emotion and learn to move past it. This will help you cope with tough situations in the future. However, if you've been sad for a long time and that feeling of deadness inside is beginning to run your life, recognize that while sadness is normal, it is also supposed to end. We go through lots of emotions but each needs their time in the sun. Sometimes, babying yourself and taking in too much supportive advice might actually be hurting you, not helping you. Sometimes what you really need is a swift kick in the pants. Tell yourself to man-or-woman-up and take this negative feeling like an adult. Start doing something about how you feel, instead of just letting the emotion control you.  Don't be your own worst bully though. Don't talk down to yourself. Just take a firm hand, like any good parent would. If it makes in any easier, pretend it's not you giving the firm advice. Pretend it's Albus Dumbledore. Or Morgan Freeman. All advice sounds better when it's coming from Morgan Freeman. It's easy to get caught up in thinking about our problems or all of the things that we wish we had and forget about all of the incredible things happening around us. You can forget about all the things in your life that are good and make you happy. Don't forget about those things! Appreciating what you do have will make you feel better bout embracing those things while you have them. Remember, everything in life is temporary, and you have to learn to love things while you have them. This can seem depressing, but remember that losing one thing that you love opens you up to new things that you can love and experience instead. Of course, sometimes our brains just get a bit sick. Sometimes we feel like we're dead inside not because we've lost sight of good things but because our brain has become blind to them. When you feel really lost, and...


Sadarilah bahwa masalahnya bukan pada ukuran tubuh Anda. Tanggapi para penindas atau pengkritik yang memperlakukan Anda dengan buruk karena ukuran tubuh Anda. Dapatkan bantuan dari orang-orang lain. Bergeraklah dengan penuh percaya diri.

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Know that others who have insecurities about their own size or appearance are the ones to criticize or bully and create a problem out of your size that you would not otherwise have.  Understand that other people may treat you badly about your size because they have also been mistreated, they think it is normal or acceptable because of their other interactions with peers or family, or because they see smaller size as being less desirable from TV shows, movies, or the internet.  Imagine that no one made comments about you being small or otherwise mistreated you for it. Would you still have a problem with your size? This may help you to see that it is other people creating the problem, not your small size. Are there things about your small size that you like? Let people know when they say something about your size that you don't like, rather than quietly accepting it.  Deal with bullies or other criticizers as kindly as possible, without resorting to calling them names or getting angry, as this may only encourage them to repeat their insults.  For instance, to someone who pats you on the head and makes comments about your size, you can kindly ask them to stop. To anyone who says negative things about how small you are, you can calmly explain, “Actually, I really like being this size” or “Actually, I'm small because of a medical condition, so please don't make fun of me for it.” If you feel you cannot safely talk back to a bully, or someone threatens you with physical violence or another serious attack, go to a parent, teacher, guidance counselor, police officer, or any person you trust for help right away. Ask for help from someone you trust if you cannot get through to someone who is offending or hurting you with speech or actions regarding your small size. Always notify the police if someone physically harms you or threatens to do so.  If you are a child, go to a parent, teacher, guidance counselor, or other adults you trust and explain the situation to them. If you are an adult, talk to a friend, a mentor, a...


Sadarilah bahwa merasa kesepian dan sendirian itu dua hal yang berbeda. Cobalah untuk memahami perasaan kesepian dengan lebih baik. Cermati masa lalu Anda. Cari bantuan dari tenaga profesional. Cobalah untuk jujur kepada diri sendiri.

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Being lonely is a feeling that transcends your outward environment and current social activities. While someone can be surrounded by people in a crowd and still feel lonely, someone else might be all alone and not feel lonely at all.  Loneliness is a feeling of disconnectedness you have inside. Being alone is when no one is around you. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Think about your likes, dislikes, and where you feel comfortable. You might feel lonely in certain crowds, but you might feel deep connections with people at small gatherings. The only way to move forward is to find out exactly what situations you are uncomfortable in. Consider the special circumstances of your unease and loneliness.  Do you like small gatherings of friends? How do you feel in bars, clubs, or other social events where you’re out in a public establishment? Do you feel okay in large gatherings if you know everyone? There might be hurtful experiences in your past that contribute to why you feel so lonely. One of the first places you should start is by examining yourself to figure out if this is true. If so, you’ll have a better idea of why you feel this way and you’ll be able to move forward.  Maybe you were abused or neglected by the people who were supposed to take care of you. Maybe you were bullied or left out by your classmates. Maybe you are feeling inadequate because of physical or mental disabilities, your gender, race or social background. Find a mental health professional to talk about your feelings. A psychiatrist, counselor, social worker, or psychologist can help you examine your past and determine what might be causing your loneliness and discomfort. This might be one of the last things you want to do, but if loneliness is crippling you emotionally and detracting from your quality of life, you should consider seeking help. Through therapy, you can acquire new tools, skills, and outlets to help you feel better. Counseling can also provide you with some much needed support. Don’t let the urge to...


Sadarilah bahwa mungkin Anda memiliki selera humor yang berbeda. Pahamilah akar dari sarkasme. Coba pikirkan apakah pernyataan ini sering dilontarkan.

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Males are far more likely than females to consider sarcasm as a form of lighthearted humor. If your feelings are hurt by sarcasm, consider whether or not the intentions were really unkind. Some people just use sarcasm as a habit. Most often they don't think about how it effects others.  Think about other things the person has said or done and how they made you feel. If the majority of actions were kind, it’s possible that the person just as a different sense of humor than you do. Their words may have come out different then they intended. Sarcasm can be a form of anger, or just a go-to on how to deal with life. Sometimes sarcastic people is resentful, angry or bitter about perceived slights he or she's received, whether at home or in the workplace. These slights may have come from you, but they’re just as likely to have come from someplace else altogether.  Because some of us handle trials in life by taking it head on, crying, pushing the problem away, etc. But deep down, most sarcastic people are afraid. They don't know how to deal with life, so their go-to is sarcasm. That is how they cope.  The impulse behind sarcasm is sometimes to help the person using it, feel better. Maybe they just like to make people laugh, or they could be trying to hurt someone so that they can have more power. It’s a dysfunctional communication that can injure others feelings, and does less to help the sarcastic person then what they want. It’s quite common. If a person lives in a social environment in which sarcasm is a common method of communicating anger, he or she might not even realize that he/she's using it with others. Even if he/she is aware, it’s a hard habit to break.  If the person wants to try to learn better patterns of communication, talking to a counselor or therapist can be helpful. Even if it’s a habitual response, there is a time and a place for sarcastic behavior, but sometimes people who use sarcasm doesn't know the right time.


Sadarilah bahwa perubahan butuh waktu. Kenali dan kembangkan sifat-sifat Anda yang paling baik. Tulislah catatan harian. Tulislah hal-hal positif yang Anda alami sepanjang hari. Tulislah momen-momen pada saat Anda mengalami emosi negatif. Ubahlah cara Anda memandang momen negatif sebagai momen positif. Gunakan “cadangan kebahagiaan” Anda. Ingatlah bahwa setiap orang pasti pernah mengalami masalah. Taklukkan kebiasaan mengkritik diri sendiri.

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Think of building a positive attitude in the same way that you think of building strength or developing fitness. It’s an endeavor that takes consistent effort. Focus on your strengths to help create more positive emotional experiences. In turn, this will make handling adversity easier. Make a list of things you enjoy doing or things you’re good at. Try to do some of these things regularly. This will build up your reserve of positive experiences. Studies show that self-reflection can be an effective learning and teaching tool in school and work settings. Self-reflection can be used to help develop a positive attitude as well. Writing down your feelings and thoughts can help you recognize your behaviors and responses. At first, it might seem strange or awkward to write self-reflections. But with time and practice, you’ll recognize some behavior and emotional patterns in your writing. This will help you target areas that may be blocking you from your goals. Review the day and find positive things about it. These can include things that made you happy, proud, awestruck, grateful, calm, content, pleased, or any other positive emotion.  For example, recall your morning routine, and spend time noticing the moments you felt peaceful or happy. This might include a beautiful view along your morning commute, or the pleasure of your first sip of coffee, or an enjoyable conversation you had. Take special time to focus on moments where you felt proud of yourself or grateful to someone else. These can be small things, such as gratitude for your partner making the bed. You might also take pride in the way you accomplished a task or completed a challenge you set for yourself. You may find it helpful to start your reflections with the positive moments of your day. Re-experiencing positive emotions can help you adjust your perspective on the negative moments. Identify moments in your day when you experienced negative emotions. These might include guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration, disappointment, fear, or disgust. Do any...


Sadarilah bahwa saudaramu mungkin menginginkan sesuatu darimu. Jangan ragu untuk membela diri! Jelaskan bahwa kamu membutuhkan waktu untuk menyendiri. Sisihkan waktumu untuk beraktivitas bersamanya. Luangkan satu hari penuh bersamanya. Buat penawaran. Sadarilah bahwa kamu juga mungkin pernah membuatnya kesal!

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Sometimes, when siblings act out, all they want is time and attention. This may be true especially if your sibling is younger than you. They may want you to read to them, play with them, or just spend more time around them. When a sibling is annoying you, simply telling them that you need a break from the annoyance can work, as long as you tell them respectfully. Simply telling them to stop will give you better control of the situation and empower you to stand your ground even more next time. They'll also learn that you will only take so much. Whether it’s studying, hanging out with friends or working on projects, help your sibling to understand that they need to respect your time. You don’t need to schedule hour-long blocks of sibling-only time: you can space a couple of 15 minute breaks to spend with them throughout your day. Throw a football, talk to them about their day, cook a meal with them, or play with toys. Ask your brother or sister what they’d like to do, and spend a whole day on an adventure.  Take them to a museum and explore the exhibits Go to a sporting event Go shopping and buy them something nice Go to the movies and then out to eat If talking alone doesn’t keep your sibling at bay, strike a bargain. Giving them something they want can help maintain peace in your house! Consider compromises, such as:  "If you can go a week without bothering me, I'll do the same." "If you leave me alone while I do my homework, I'll take you to get ice cream later." "If you stop messing with me, I'll let you have the house to yourself when you hang out with friends on Friday." Consider whether you've been rude, irritating or needy towards them lately. It might be possible that you're doing the same things to them that they've done to you. Ask them what bothers them about your behavior, and promise to stop your bad habits if they stop theirs.


Sadarilah bahwa semua gaya karate itu bagus. Pilihlah perguruan yang bagus.

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It is not that one is better than the other in general, but there are some that are better for certain people.  More popular styles benefit from more people to learn from, more funding and the occasional visit from a master from Japan.  Here are the most popular styles:  Goju Ryu.  Its founder, Gogen Yamaguchi, was famously taken prisoner by the Russians in World War 2.  The Russians attempted to feed him to a hungry tiger, but he killed the tiger with his bare hands.  Goju has many more circular and close in/grappling techniques. Shotokhan.  Shotokan is the most traditional Japanese style.  It takes its name from a pen name that Master Funakoshi used in his poetry.  The name means the "house where you hear the wind blowing through the pine trees.  It is very direct, with strong movements in a linear fashion towards the target. Shito ryu.  Shito is an attempt to unify the linear Shotokan and the circular Goju into one combined discipline. Wado ryu.  Wado contains various Judo like throws. Kyokushin Kai.  Kyokushin has a reputation for being very intense and is good if you aspire to full contact fighting.  It's founder, Mas Oyama, was known for fighting bulls in demonstrations, and repeatedly cut off bull's horns with an open hand (knife) strike. As in anything, the actual teacher may be more important that the school.  Make sure the School follows your philosophy.  Some schools are full of 18 year olds with lots of contact, excitement, and broken bones.  Some are spiritual and have no contact.  This is probably the most important thing to consider in choosing. Ensure lessons are are at a convenient time and place for you. Watch a lesson before you actually join, to see if you like the style. Decide if you want to practice with children or not.  It is very hard to make a living teaching karate, and many schools make their cash by teaching a lot of children.  That may be fine with you, or may not be. Don't worry about toning, strengthening and weight loss.  All forms of karate are great exercise.  Karate is a...


Sadarilah bahwa situasi tersebut tidak melulu tentang Anda. Pahami motivasinya. Cobalah menghindari orang yang mengejek Anda jika memungkinkan. Tentukan apakah ejekan yang Anda terima melanggar hukum.

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People who tease and insult others are insecure. Their bullying is often driven by fear, narcissism, and the need to control a situation. Picking on others makes them feel powerful. Recognizing that it’s about them, not you, will help you gain confidence in the situation. Making an effort to understand why a particular person is insulting or teasing you is key to coming up with a resolution to the situation.  Sometimes people tease you to make themselves feel better; other times they might do it because they don't understand you or the situation as well as they could, or they may be jealous of something you have done or achieved.  For example, the coworker who always insults your clothing may feel like you are getting more credit than you deserve from your boss.  In another example, your aggressor might be teasing you because they do not understand that your disability prevents you from fully participating in an activity. Keep in mind that some forms of teasing can be playful and are not meant to hurt your feelings. For example, a relative or close friend might tease you about something, such as a quirk that they find amusing about you. Avoiding your aggressor can help minimize the insults and/or teasing you are experiencing. While this is not always possible, come up with ways to minimize the time you must spend in the presence of the bully or avoid contact altogether.  If you are being teased while walking home from school, work with your parents to come up with a safe route home that will help you avoid being teased or insulted. If you are being teased or insulted online, consider deleting the bully from your social media networks or limiting the time you spend on certain applications. Sometimes teasing or insults are a direct violation of state or federal law. For example, if you have a co-worker who is sexually harassing you at work by commenting on your body, this is a violation of the law and must be reported immediately. If you are at school, you have a right to feel safe and to have a...


Sadarilah bahwa stres berawal dari persepsi. Kenali bentuk pola pikir yang memicu stres. Kemas kembali pikiran-pikiran Anda. Tantang atau lawan pikiran-pikiran negatif. Cobalah catat dua kategori informasi mengenai masalah yang memengaruhi Anda. Tulislah jurnal

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Your body has a very efficient reaction to dangerous events that pumps up your "fight-or-flight" response, allowing you to jump out of the way of an oncoming car and save your life. This reaction causes your heart to pound, your pulse to quicken, and your muscles to tense. But you may also unconsciously perceive that this reaction is necessary for non-life-threatening situations, such as traffic jams, looming deadlines, or family issues. You must learn ways to counter your body's stress response so that you can "put the brakes" on and allow your body to relax. You may be experiencing unproductive, negative thoughts that lead to worrying, which can trigger the release of stress hormones. This is a response that is appropriate if, say, you run into a stressful situation like a bear in your path, but may not be appropriate when traffic is making you late to work. Identify common stressful thoughts by noticing if they fall into these categories:   "Should" or "Must" statements: You have a strict list of things you "should," "must," or "should not" do, and feel stressed out or anxious when you do not follow these rules.   Catastrophizing: You expect the worst-case scenario or blow things out of proportion. Even small problems are "horrible" or a "disaster."   All-or-nothing thinking: You see things only in black or white, as good or bad. Instead of acknowledging the complexities (or "gray areas") of being human, things are either wrong or right and there is no in between.   "What if"ing: You find yourself having an internal conversation about things you fear, such as "What if my child is hurt?" "What if I fail?" "What if I'm late?" and so on. Sometimes, a stressful situation is just a matter of perspective. Pessimism, for example, is an excellent example of avoidable stress we put ourselves through. Instead of focusing on the negatives and the problems that are causing you anxiety, concentrate on the positives.  Negative thoughts lead to a negative mood state and positive thoughts lead to a positive mood state....


Sadarilah betapa mudahnya marmot bisa hamil. Pisahkan marmot ke dalam kelompok sesama jenis. Kebiri marmot jantan. Hindari membiakkan marmot Anda dengan sengaja.

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Male guinea pigs (boars) can become sexually mature as early as three weeks of age. Female guinea pigs (sows) can become sexually mature as early as four weeks of age.  It is entirely possible for a male pup to impregnate its mother or sisters. Pet stores often keep both sexes together, resulting in many people being sold sows which are already pregnant. The easiest way to prevent pregnancy is to keep the two sexes apart.  Guinea pigs should be split into same-sex groups at 3 weeks old. Remember guinea pigs are social animals and should be kept in groups, so if you own both a boar and a sow make sure to provide company of the same sex for both of them. Another way to prevent pregnancy in guinea pigs is to have the boars neutered. It is also possible to have sows spayed, but this is a more complex and risky process. Always have an exotics or cavy savvy vet for guinea pig surgery.  Neutered boars should be kept separate from sows for four weeks after surgery. This is because sperm can survive in his tubes for this length of time. So, while neutering means he cannot produce more sperm, he could still theoretically sire offspring for a short time after castration As a general rule, guinea pigs do not respond well to anaesthetic so if it is possible, separating the sexes is a safer option. Pregnancy in guinea pigs carried as 1 in 5 chance of death, and there is also a high risk of stillbirth. If you would like another guinea pig, your local rescue center will have many pigs in need of caring and loving homes.


Sadarilah jika rasa cinta tersebut mulai mengganggu hidup Anda. Selalu ingat bahwa tokoh tersebut tidaklah nyata. Pahami konsep stereotip. Buang tokoh tersebut dari hidup Anda.

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Daydreaming or fantasizing is fine, but your fantasy should not take over your life. If you find yourself wanting to get out of social situations, or avoiding real relationships, then you have taken your love to an unhealthy place. If you are unable to stop fantasizing on your own, consider therapy or antidepressants to help break free. Discuss this option with a doctor if you are concerned about your ability to function. In the end, you fell for a character, someone who does not exist. Make sure that is clear in your mind, even if it means stating it over and over again.  Try to look for your character’s flaws or negative aspects. If he doesn’t have any, that itself is a flaw. No one is perfect, and you wouldn’t be okay with a real relationship where nothing was wrong with your partner.  Sometimes it helps to have other people say these things to you to make them more real. Discuss your desire to cut yourself off from this fictional world with your friends. They can help you of things that are real, and what isn’t. Especially in visual fiction, many characters are portraying stereotypes of people. A good way to get over your character is to remember that he is just a representation of reality. Real people aren’t necessarily as perfect, or romantic, or witty, or uncomplicated (or whatever adjective you choose) as your fictional character. This step is also important when considering how you react to characters you don’t like. Certain types of people are depicted in specific ways to get a reaction from you. For example, teacher characters can be shown as cranky old people who want their students to fail. While some of these people exist, that hardly represents them, and shouldn’t affect the way you interact with real teachers, especially those who are younger and friendly. This is good advice for ending relationships with real people too. If you want to stop thinking about and caring about someone, cut her out of your life. This will give you room to grow, and be able to live your life without her. Don’t read...


Sadarilah kebiasaan buruk Anda. Catatlah permintaan maaf Anda. Pelajari kembali kapan saatnya permintaan maaf Anda sudah beres. Gantilah permintaan maaf dengan candaan konyol. Tunjukkan rasa terima kasih. Gantilah permintaan maaf dengan rasa empati. Tertawakan diri Anda.

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How much apologizing is too much? If the following sound familiar, you may be going overboard. Note how all of these apologies are all excuses for normal, non-harmful actions and states.  "I'm sorry, I don't want to bother you." "I'm sorry, I just went for a jog and now I'm all sweaty." "I'm sorry, my house is a mess right now." "I'm sorry, I think I forgot to put salt on the popcorn." Make a mental or written note of all the things you apologize for and take a good look at them. Ask yourself whether or not what you did was either intentional or harmful. After all, these are the conditions that really require apologies.  Try tracking your apologies in this way for a week. You might find that many of your apologies seem to be aimed at avoiding confrontation or maybe appearing more humble and sweet. Notice whether or not the apology feels as if you have cleared up something that offended another person or your standards for yourself. Try to get a sense for when it feels perfunctory, as if you have to cover your bases to make room or subtly ask permission for your actions and opinions.  If you feel lost, start by drawing the line at your role in an event and leave it at that. This can be particularly difficult if you are someone who apologizes on behalf of others in order to nip conflict in the bud. However, apologizing on others' behalf often leads to feelings of resentment, as you are taking on others' responsibilities in addition to your own.  When to apologize is always a judgment call; it won't be the same for everyone. As you begin to notice the unnecessary apologies, swap it for a word like "humdinger" or "beep-bop". This pairs unnecessary apologies with a feeling of ridiculousness that comes with the silly word and improves your ability to keep tracking your apologies   Without replacing frequent apologizing with other qualifiers, you run the risk of slipping back into apology land. Use this trick while you are tracking your apologies. Then you can begin replacing apologies with more meaningful...


Sadarilah kebiasaan buruk Anda. Temukan akar masalah gangguan kecemasan Anda. Jangan mengeluh. Ciptakan suatu sistem yang mendukung Anda. Sabarlah. Coba minta bantuan profesional.

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Since knuckle cracking is often a nervous habit, it is often done "automatically." Most of the time people are not even aware they are cracking their knuckles until somebody tells them.  However, if you wish to stop your knuckle cracking habit, it is important to become more aware of when you do it. It may be helpful to rope in a friend or family member to provide a gentle reminder whenever you crack. Knuckle cracking is generally a lot more obvious to outside observers than it is to the crackers themselves. Knuckle cracking may be classified as a nervous habit. Since a nervous habit is in response to stress or anxiety, identifying the source of the stress is the first step in dealing with the habit.  Stress can be specific, like worrying about an upcoming test, or it can be general, like relationships with parents and peers, social acceptance, or any of many other factors. Try keeping a small notebook on you at all times, and make a note each time you crack your knuckles. This will help you to notice any patterns in your knuckle cracking behaviors and help you to identify your triggers. If you are a knuckle cracker or care for someone who cracks their knuckles, be aware that nagging or complaining about the habit is more likely to make it worse than make it go away.  Nagging only leads to more stress, which increases the nervous reaction to that stress. Therefore gentle reminders will be much more helpful and effective than constant nagging. Although nagging or increasing stress is unlikely to help, there are many ways that friends and family can help the knuckle popper. A simple touch on the arm when somebody notices unconscious habits can go a long way to understanding and dealing with the problem. Understand that most knuckle cracking is harmless and will probably go away with time. If the cracking does not coincide with other changes in behavior, patience is probably the best antidote. Understand that prolonged excessive or any kind of habit that has a negative effect on the normal course of life is...


Sadarilah pentingnya mengubah kebiasaan buruk dan bertahanlah. Hadapkan diri Anda kepada pemicu kecanduan Anda di lingkungan yang berbeda-beda. Lanjutkan dengan melakukannya-sambil tetap bertahan. Berikan tanggapan lain yang positif. Lakukan meditasi.

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Sometimes there are not just thoughts that need to change; there are also bad habits and addictions (which are sometimes one in the same, really). If you have a habit you need to break, whether it's eating too much or being dependent on a drug, start deconditioning yourself by exposing yourself to your trigger and then resisting. It'll be tough, but it'll get easier with each time. And in this manner, you're controlling it. When you control it, you feel a lot better.  Let's say you're trying to quit overeating. In this example, you're at home, and it's around the time you would normally snack. Expose yourself to an aroma or a picture of a food and don't crave. It can be for 30 seconds or it could be for 5 minutes, whatever you think you can handle. The important aspect here is to do it in a normal situation. Plenty of addicts go to rehab and do fine, but eventually relapse into the bad habits. Keep your conditions as normal as possible to make them the most effective. If you're an alcoholic who's trying to quit, it's a good idea to "practice quitting" in a number of different environments and in different situations. Take it one step at a time. Get home from work and don't have that glass of wine. In time, that urge will fall away. Then, move to your local bar, and resist there. That'll become normal, too. Next step, parties. You need to face the trigger in whatever form it can take and learn to conquer it. It's a good idea to do it in different intervals, too. Sometimes cravings will come on stronger, and those are the ones that present the most risk. But if you vary up your reconditioning sessions, your body will start resisting the urge at all times, not just cyclically. Once you've gotten this far, you're almost home free. Now it's time to essentially mime your habit and still not do it. An alcoholic might sit at a bar, pour a drink, and not drink it. An over-eater might cook a meal for their family and watch them enjoy it. When you hit this stage, you officially have power over your mind and your habit....


Sadarilah penurunan daya perhatian Anda. Uraikan pekerjaan Anda menjadi bagian-bagian yang kecil, potongan-potongan yang lebih mudah dikerjakan. Jelaskan kembali masalah-masalah yang membingungkan dengan kata-kata Anda sendiri. Gunakan sebuah kata-kata penyemangat tertentu untuk menjaga perhatian Anda tetap terfokus. Carilah titik “istirahat” yang tepat.

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The first step to being able to control your ADHD symptoms mentally is to be able to identify them as soon as they appear. As soon as you realize that you're starting to lose focus, you can use one of the mental techniques in this section to start regaining control. It's easiest to get back on track if you catch yourself losing focus as early as possible, so be vigilant for the following signs that your attention is slipping:  You begin thinking about what you'll do later in the day when the task you're working on is done. You start focusing more on your physical behavior (fidgeting, etc.) than on your important task. You find yourself preoccupied with other things around you and are no longer looking at the task in front of you. You start to daydream or have thoughts completely unrelated into your important task. Completing a 15-page research paper all at once can be a monumental task. Finishing just one page, on the other hand, can be a relative walk in the park. In general, long-term important tasks are much easier to complete if you take a piecemeal approach, tackling each segment on its own before moving on to the next. In addition, the satisfaction you get from finishing each "chunk" of your task can give you a steady stream of motivation that will help keep you focused and on-task for hours. This strategy works best when you have a long time to complete a task. For instance, for a 15-page paper, it's easier to write one page per day for 15 days than it is to write 15 pages in one night. However, you can still apply this strategy even when you're forced to tackle large problems all at once. Try to think of completing each piece of your task as its own goal separate from the entire task itself. This way, it's mentally easier to keep moving than if you tackle the entire task at once, even though you don't have the benefit of taking breaks between each "chunk." Some people with ADHD find that the hardest part of getting an important task done is understanding what exactly needs to be done so that they can...


Sadarilah perasaan Anda demi menghindari reaksi kasar. Praktikkan pernapasan dalam. Lakukan olahraga singkat. Dengarkanlah musik. Praktikkan meditasi kasih sayang. Terimalah bahwa Anda merasa sakit.

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There's a reason "heat of the moment" is such a popular phrase. When we argue with people, there tends to be a lack of thoughtfulness and overall awareness going on, both of ourselves and the other person. Mindfulness can help you stay centered in your experience and non-judgmentally aware of the situation. This will help you gain clarity and freedom to choose how you respond.  Acknowledge your thoughts and emotional state. View thoughts from the perspective of an interested observer, without "buying into" them. Name your emotions without judging them. A single word description can be useful to get a handle on them. If you feel yourself getting worked up over what the person is saying, pay attention to the sensation of your breath flowing through your nostrils.  For example, if you start to feel yourself get irritated while the person is talking, take a moment to say "I'm feeling irritated" silently to yourself. This will help you stay in touch with your feelings. Emotionally distance yourself from the moment by putting it into perspective. For instance, you’ve probably had to deal with criticism in the past and were able to work through feelings of hurt. You could also remember that in the grand scheme of things, this one criticism is a very short experience from which you can grow. Deep breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system in your body, which is in charge of restfulness. Taking a few deep breaths, inhaling so that your stomach expands while your chest stays in place, is a quick and easy way to calm yourself using basic biology. You can do this right before you receive criticism in order to prepare yourself, such as a performance evaluation with your boss. You can also use this while you are receiving criticism, such as being disciplined by a parent, in order to help you deal with it more effectively and less defensively. If you're able to get away from the argument for a little while, which is advisable, take that time to get your body moving. Aerobic exercise like jogging will provide...


Sadarlah akan kebiasaan berkata kasar Anda. Gunakan kata lain sebagai pengganti kata kasar. Perluas kosakata Anda.

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An isolated swear word here and there can be forgiven - but if you find yourself swearing constantly, unable to go more than a sentence or two without throwing in an expletive, that's when you know you have a problem. The first step in training yourself to stop swearing is to become aware of when you do it.  Do you only curse around certain people or in specific situations? Is there a particular swear word that you use all the time? Try to identify why you curse and the role that swear words play in your speech patterns.  Once you begin paying attention to your swearing habits, you may be shocked by how much you rely on swearing to express yourself. Don't be too dismayed by it though, recognizing how often you curse is the first step towards fixing the problem. Once you start paying attention to your own cursing habits, you will start to pick up on other people's, without even realizing it. This is also a good thing, as you will realize how unpleasant swearing sounds and what a negative impression it gives off. Once you have identified your major swearing habits, you can set about eliminating swear words from your casual speech. This is when you curse for no real reason - you're not angry, it didn't just slip out - you are just using the curse word as a figure of speech. You can correct this problem by replacing the curse word with a harmless substitute, perhaps something beginning with the same letter or with a similar sound, which doesn't cause offense.  For example, try replacing "sh**" with "sugar", "turd", "shoot" or "sheep" or "f***" with "duck", or "fudge". You'll feel silly saying these words at first, but you'll get used to it after a while. Using such meaningless words may even eliminate your need to express yourself negatively at all. Even if you slip up and say the forbidden curse word, follow it immediately with your chosen alternative. Over time, your brain will come to associate the two and you will be able to actively choose one over the other. . Swear words are often used "for want of a...


Sajikan Kahlua dengan es. Campurkan dengan Black Russian. Buatlah White Russian. Manjakan diri dengan Mudslide. Buatlah Mind Eraser. Kocok martini kopi.

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Fill a rocks glass with ice cubes. Fill the glass halfway with Kahlua. Using a stir stick or spoon, gently stir the ice to cool the Kahlua. Add a sliver of orange zest to the glass to jazz up this standby drink. To make this classic cocktail, fill a tumbler glass with ice cubes. Pour 2 oz. (4 tbsp.) of vodka and 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of Kahlua over the ice. Stir the drink gently to mix it, and enjoy! To prepare this delicious drink, fill a tumbler glass with ice cubes. Pour 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of Kahlua, 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of vodka, and 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of table cream over the ice. Stir the drink lightly to mix it. For a lighter version of this drink, use an equal amount of milk instead of cream. To mix a cocktail that tastes like dessert, use a shaker filled with ice. Pour in 1.5 oz. (3 tbsp.) of Kahlua, 1.5 oz. (3 tbsp.) of vodka, and 1.5 oz. (3 tbsp.) of Irish cream liqueur. Shake the ingredients together, then pour the drink into a tumbler glass filled with ice. To make something both strong and refreshing, fill a tumbler glass with ice. Pour in 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of Kahlua, followed by 2 oz. (4 tbsp.) of vodka and 2 oz. (4 tbsp.) of club soda. For a cool look, avoid mixing the drink and let three layers sit on top of each other. To make a drink with a bit of a buzz to it, fill a shaker with ice. Pour in 2 oz. (4 tbsp.) of vodka, 1 oz. (2 tbsp.) of Kahlua, and 1 oz. of chocolate liqueur. Shake them together vigorously and pour the drink into a martini glass. If you wish, top the martini with espresso beans or chocolate flakes.