Terima kenyataan bahwa Anda terlalu banyak berpikir. Meditasi Lakukan olahraga. Ucapkan ide-ide Anda dengan lantang. Mintalah saran.

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Just like eating, thinking is something we need to do to survive, so it is sometimes hard to judge when you are doing too much of it. However, there are several red flags that you are doing too much thinking for your own good. Here are a few of them:  Are you consumed by the same thought over and over again? Are you not making progress by thinking about this particular thing? If so, this may be a sign that you should move on. Have you analyzed the same situation from a million angles? If you've found too many ways to look at something before you decide how to act, you may be being counterproductive. Have you enlisted the help of your twenty closest friends in thinking about a particular thing? If so, then it's time to realize that you can only ask for so many opinions about the same idea before you drive yourself insane. Are people constantly telling you to stop over-thinking things? Do people tease you for brooding, being a philosopher, or staring out of rainy windows all the time? If so, they may have a point. . If you feel like you don't know how to stop thinking, you need to learn what it's like to "let go" of your thoughts, so that it's something you can do deliberately. Imagine that thinking is like breathing; you do it all the time, without even realizing it. But if you need to, you can hold your breath. Meditating will help you learn how to release your thoughts.  Just spending 15-20 minutes meditating every morning can make a dramatic impact on your ability to stay in the present and let go of all of your nagging thoughts. You can also meditate at night to help yourself wind down. Running or even walking vigorously can help you take your mind off of all of those annoying thoughts and to focus on your body. Participating in something particularly active, like power yoga, martial arts or beach volleyball, will have you so focused on your body that you won't have time for your thoughts. Here are some great things to try:  Join a circuit gym. Having to switch to a new machine every minute when you hear...


Terima kenyataan bahwa Anda tidak bisa mengubah orang lain begitu saja. Mundur. Berhenti bicara.

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Some arguments continue in spite of your best efforts. If your boyfriend is saying hurtful things, misinterpreting you, acting arrogant or judgmental, his ego has been hurt and he is behaving this way out of self-protection. Although you may think that by saying or doing the right thing you can bring him around, he's actually not in a state where he's truly receptive to your words and actions. While you cannot change what's happening with the other person, you can take care of yourself. Realizing this helps avoid damaging confrontations. It's okay to walk away from your boyfriend; remember, though, that this is not a punishment to him. Stay receptive and loving, and when he decides to open up, be there to listen. Sometimes a 30-minute break can help both of you calm down. Take a walk, call a friend, or do something else entirely for a good half an hour before returning to your boyfriend. If you can't walk away for whatever reason, disengage from the argument by keeping silent. Listen to your inner feelings instead of fanning the flames with more words.


Terima kenyataan. Jernihkan pikiran. Pikirkan sisi negatifnya. Buang segala hal yang mengingatkan Anda akan dirinya. Putuskan kontak. Bicarakan perasaan Anda. Temui orang-orang baru.

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You need to be honest with yourself and accept the truth. Whether you want it to be true or not, the break up happened. Don't let yourself dwell on her coming back to you or calling you. Just accept that you are no longer with her. Take your time, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on with your life. This may be easier or harder depending on how long you were with her. If you were together for years or if you lived together, it may take you a little longer to accept what has happened. Don't let memories of her weigh you down. You don't want to hold on to your hurt, which can affect you and those around you. Let go of the anger and regret and don't dwell on what you could have done differently or better in the relationship. If you find yourself thinking about her, do something that gets your mind off of it, like reading a book or watching a movie. Once you divert your mind enough, you'll find yourself thinking about her less. This will help you start fresh once you are ready to date again. Whether you write out a pro/com list or just think about it, remember all the negative things about her. Remember all the reasons your relationship didn't work in the first place. Think about all the things that she did that got on your nerves or hurt your feelings. This will help you view her in a different light and take her off of the pedestal you have her on in your mind, helping you move past your feelings for her. Don't think that she is the best girl you will even date. Think about how there has to be someone better for you out there. Over the course of your relationship, you have more than likely amassed a lot of presents, pictures, and mementos that remind you of her. Put up the things that make you think of her, like a shirt of yours that she liked to wear or a CD that you listened to together a lot. Collect them all and put them away. This will help you compartmentalize all of your feelings for her and help you push them aside. Without reminders of her everywhere, you can start to move on.  You...


Terima kepribadian Anda. Pahamilah pentingnya kepercayaan diri. Hindari pikiran-pikiran negatif. Uji keyakinan Anda. Tunjukkan belas kasih kepada orang lain. Jaga harapan yang sehat.

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Many people happen to be introverted, meaning that you're more comfortable spending time alone or with your own thoughts. If this sounds like you, don't force yourself to completely become an outgoing, social person. Doing so can lead to stress, anxiety, and heart disease. Instead, spend time in social situations you already enjoy and try to have meaningful conversations. By accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions rather than trying to increase the number of social interactions you have. You can become socially confident by engaging other people in a way that interests them and makes them feel heard. These skills, along with the ability to make others feel heard, are known as social competence. Research has shown that improving social competence actually increases positive self-perceptions and acceptance during social situations. Practicing social competence can create opportunities for yourself, since you're more likely to approach others. How you see yourself is one of the most common factors that influences your confidence. You may think that you're giving off a negative impression to others in social situations, but you're probably just looking for anything to confirm your own beliefs. If you don't see yourself as socially confident, it can be easy to look for evidence that confirms your belief, since people prefer experiences to match their predictions. Instead, reframe a situation to challenge how you see yourself. Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and ask yourself what evidence you see or hear that proves the thought. For example, imagine you're out and think, "I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I have nothing interesting to say.” Stop thinking the negative thought and ask yourself what proves that thought without a doubt. Once you've started looking for evidence to support how you feel, test the evidence to see if it was caused by other things beyond your control. Don't assume that others’ reactions are caused by you, because this...


Terima konsekuensinya. Bicarakan baik-baik. Lakukan apa yang harus Anda lakukan berikutnya.

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Consequences for a seduction could be very good, or very bad. Your friendship could give birth to a one-night stand or even a long-term relationship. On the other hand, things can get uncomfortable and awkward quickly. If this is the case, the best way to repair a friendship (provided you want to repair it) is by talking openly about what happened. Explain what you felt and why you wanted to do what you did.  It's usually best not to pry into questions like why they rejected you. Focusing on the rejection itself can lead to bitterness on both ends. If all is indeed lost, you have to accept your losses. Not everything is going to work out the way you want it to; the same is especially true in pursuing relationships. If the seduction has failed for whatever reason, there's going to be a spot of awkwardness. It is best to turn this into an opportunity for both sides to vent their feelings and say how they feel. This may lessen the impact of the rejection, but it's necessary if you want to keep the friendship alive. Be honest with how you feel. If the other person tries to brush it off as a joke, it may be best to follow through with that and move past the episode as quickly as possible. Otherwise, it's a good idea to talk about what happened as friends. Make sure to let your friend that you care about them as a friend, in spite of any added attraction you've had for them. You might start a conversation with something like this: "I know how this might look. While I am attracted to you, I also value you as a great friend. I hope you don't think I feel any less of you because of this." Following the seduction, you need to move forward. This is true whether the seduction worked, you're staying friends, or the friendship was ruined as a result. The outcomes vary wildly, but even in the worst case, there is no benefit in letting yourself suffer over it. An important part of life lies in accepting your decisions and learning from them. Even if you regret making the seduction, you should forgive yourself as soon as you...


Terima kontrol internal diri. Tentukan di mana orientasi kontrol Anda. Ketahui mengapa Anda perlu berubah. Mulailah jurnal perubahan. Bingkai ulang pikiran-pikiran Anda. Ubah hal-hal negatif dalam kehidupan menjadi positif. Akui keberanian diri. Sadarilah bahwa Anda butuh waktu dan usaha.

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The internal locus of control is a fancy way of saying how you view yourself in relation to events in your life and your attitude towards situations that happen to you. A strong internal locus of control means that you take responsibility for things in your life, and you have a hardy sense of being able to manage problems or difficulties that may come your way. To begin changing your life for the better, beef up your internal locus of control.  In contrast, if you have an external locus of control, you feel as though things just happen to you, you are a victim of your circumstances, and you don't feel as though you have much agency in your life to deal with challenging events. An easy example is to imagine you have been in a car accident, no one is hurt, and you and the other driver are both at fault.  If you are oriented in having an internal locus of control, you will accept the situation, have confidence you will be able to deal with the consequences, and feel that, even though this is a challenging situation, you will be able to handle it.  If your locus of control is external, your thoughts may be a long the lines of, “Why does this always happen to me?  Nothing ever goes my way.  I always mess everything up.  The world is out to get me, no matter what I do.” There is an easy true and false test online that you can take and score in about ten minutes that can tell you where your locus of control is. Take the test and figure out your score. This will let you know where you are so you can start to understand your approach to life. Understanding what your beliefs are and your ability to handle adversity will help illuminate where to begin changing your attitudes towards life in a more positive, empowered way. Feeling like you have no control over yourself or your life can lead to feelings of stagnation, depression, helplessness, and hopelessness.  How can you change your life for the better if you feel so stuck in this way?  Are you living your life or are you letting life live you? Most people tend to take...


Terima pembayaran. Buka aplikasi Cash. Masukkan nominal uang. Sentuh Cash Out. Sentuh Standard atau Instant. Sentuh bank Anda. Masuk ke akun bank Anda.

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When someone sends you money for the first time using the Cash app, the payment may be pending, awaiting your approval.  To accept a pending payment:  Tap the notification icon in the top-right (small circle with the number of unread notifications). Tap Accept next to a pending payment. Tap Confirm. Tap Done. The Square Cash app has a green icon with a white "$" sign.  The first time you open the Cash app, you will need to sign up or sign in. It's the small number at the top of the app in the middle.  This opens an account balance screen. It's at the bottom of the screen on the left. Standard takes a few days to transfer to your account.  Instant sends the funds immediately but costs a small fee. The first time you transfer money to your bank, you will need to link your bank account.  Tap your bank from the lists provided.  If you don't see your bank, tap "Other". Use the same credentials you use to sign into your bank online to link your account. You may also need to answer some security questions your previously set up with your bank account.


Terima perubahan. Terima perubahan hormon Anda. Bersabar. Lakukan perawatan diri. Dapatkan kembali rasa percaya diri.

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When you have a new baby, you are going through a lot of changes. These changes aren't just physical. Pay attention to the emotional shifts that are occurring, too. Your emotional well-being is important when you are reestablishing a sexual connection with your partner.   Start by accepting the changes that have happened. For example, you may notice that your breasts feel and look much differently. That's normal. Try not to let your feelings about your body impact your desire to have sex. Another common worry is that your body will feel differently to your partner after you give birth. It's possible that it might. Accept that your body has physically changed, and that sex will be different for both of you. But that does not mean that it is not still good. Pregnancy and giving birth greatly affect your hormones. Your hormones likely will not return to normal until you start menstruating again. For many women, this doesn't happen until for anywhere from 4-12 weeks after giving birth.  When your hormones are out of balance, your sex drive can vary. Many women will feel ready to have sex, but just as many won't feel ready for several months. Remember that feeling either way is fine. And it's normal for your feelings to shift from day to day, and even hour to hour. You will also be spending most hours of the day holding and caring for your newborn. When it's finally time to take a break, you may feel the need for some personal space. It's ok if you don't feel like being touched. Try not to think too much about what other people do. Your sex life is between you and your partner. You two should resume having sex when it is right for you. Having a great sex life after a baby may take some adjustments, which is normal. The best thing you can do is to be patient with yourself and with your partner.  Some couples begin having sex 1 month after giving birth. Others prefer to wait 6 months. Give yourself time to feel ready to be intimate again. If you feel nervous about sex, you won't feel aroused. Wait to try until you...


Terima putusnya hubungan itu. Putuskan semua komunikasi. Berikan dia dan juga Anda waktu untuk memulihkan diri. Nilai hubungan Anda dengan jujur. Minta maaf, bila perlu.

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Handle the break-up maturely and with grace. If he broke up with you, respect his decision and give him some time to see things more clearly. He will appreciate your understanding and respect you all the more for handling yourself with dignity.  The last thing you want to do is make a scene. Crying or getting angry with him won't get you anywhere, in fact, he'll be more likely to run in the other direction. By accepting the break-up calmly, you are leveling the playing field. He was probably expecting a different reaction from you, but now he .will be curious as to why you're not more upset. This may plant the first seed of doubt in his mind. After a break-up, emotions run high and people don't always make rational decisions. For this reason, it is advisable to cut all communication with your ex for a while.  Don't harass your ex with phone calls, texts or Facebook messages. This will have the opposite of the desired effect. Wait until he contacts you first. It will be tough, but try not to contact your ex for at least 2-3 weeks. Give him time to miss you. Break-ups can be rough. Harsh words are exchanged and feelings get hurt. You need to give both yourself and your ex time to cool down, reflect and heal. Only then should you consider resuming the relationship.  Getting back together while the wounds are still fresh will cause the same old issues to resurface and your efforts to revive the relationship are sure to fail. Wait until enough time has passed that you can think about the break-up objectively and can speak to your ex without getting upset or angry. Take this time apart to honestly assess your relationship, think about what went wrong and what went right. Try to pinpoint the exact problems that led to the end of the relationship and figure out whether they can be fixed.  If you believe that the problems in your relationship are fixable, and both you and he are willing to put in the effort to make that happen, then your relationship stands a chance. If, on the other hand, the circumstances which led...


Terima suami apa adanya. Pelajari tentang biseksualitas. Berikan hubungan awal baru yang segar. Bahas keinginan suami.

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Your husband has the same qualities that you fell in love with, and his bisexuality is another quality that you may have recently learned about. It also defines who he is. As your partner, he needs your love and support, and your relationship will remain strong if you can accept him for who he is. Knowing more about bisexuality will help you understand your partner.  There is no single model for bisexuality, since each individual is different in their emotions and feelings.  A bisexual person is sexually attracted to two genders. This individual likely also loves individuals first, often with less attention to specific gender.  There are a lot of myths about bisexuality, which can be harmful to your relationship if you don’t learn how these myths are just that – myths. Your relationship will strengthen if you understand the true nature of your partner’s feelings. Some of these myths are:  Myth: A person is either gay or straight, not both. Humans are complex and can have very different sexual orientations, including heterosexual (attracted to the opposite gender), homosexual (attracted to the same gender), bisexual (attracted to two or more genders), asexual (not attracted to any gender), pansexual (not limited in sexual choice), or skoliosexual (attraction to non-binary identified individuals).   Myth: Bisexuals can’t be faithful. People can choose to be monogamous. People's sexual orientation does not determine their ability or desire to be in a monogamous, faithful relationship. The couple decides what it means to be monogamous.  Myth: Bisexuals have more sexually transmitted diseases. The rate of STDs does not correlate to someone's sexual orientation. Rather, it has to do with the individual’s care in protecting themselves from STDs. Recognize that your relationship has entered into a new phase. If you want the marriage to succeed and continue, you need to be willing to make changes. Your husband is still the same person that you married, but now you know even more about his desires and feelings....


Terima surel dari grup. Setelah Anda membalas permintaan konfirmasi, Anda akan mulai menerima surel dari grup.

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You can receive emails from a group without joining.  To subscribe, send a blank email to groupname-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Replace “groupname” with the actual name of the group. You will not have access to all the group's web features such as photos, files, polls and calendar.  You can decide to join the group later by sending a request to join from the group's homepage.


Terima tanggal persidangan. Bersiaplah. Berpakaianlah dengan pantas. Ketahuilah apa yang diinginkan. Hadirilah persidangan.

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You will be notified of the date and time of your court hearing by mail. Your case will be put on a docket for some time in the coming months. However, not all states require a hearing. To determine which states require a hearing, click here There are different types of court hearings that may be scheduled in your case, depending on your state’s laws and your local court’s practices. For instance, you may have a provisional or preliminary hearing, which deals with temporary orders, usually dealing with children and possession of the marital residence and vehicles, while your divorce is going on. You may also have a final divorce hearing, at which the court is likely to grant your divorce. Other states and courts may require additional hearings as needed. If you must attend a court hearing, bring all of the necessary materials with you to your court date. This includes required signed paperwork and any other required documents. Even uncontested divorces can take months, so you don't want to slow down the process even more by having to reschedule your court date because you don't have all of the right information. Remember that the courtroom is a professional place and the decision of the judge will be final. Therefore, you'll want to dress in a respectable fashion since you are representing yourself. If you and your spouse have amicably settled your divorce and you appear in court, it is likely that the judge will simply give you what you have asked for, especially if there are no children involved. If, however, there seems to be disagreement or hostility between you and your spouse, the judge may order that you attend mediation before ruling on your case. Remember that whatever is decided in the hearing is final. You will not be able to go back later and change the settlement agreement.


Terima tanggung jawab Anda jika sudah sepantasnya. Biarkan diri Anda membuat beberapa kesalahan. Maafkan diri sendiri. Pahamilah bahwa Anda tidak sendirian. Belajarlah untuk melepaskan dengan sadar.

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Humiliation is painful and it can feel like your personal value is being diminished. However, it's important to accept responsibility if you’ve done something wrong. A common response to humiliation is to deny responsibility and push the problem on to others. Don’t let this defensive move prevent you from facing yourself and pushing through to the other side. Apologize for your actions if you've made a mistake, like an error at work that causes a lot of problems. A lot of humiliation comes from something called ‘’performance expectation.’’ This refers to expectations placed on your ability to perform a certain task well. The higher the performance expectation, the more harshly you can be judged for failing to accomplish the task. Having a healthy sense of performance expectation is important. Failure is part of the learning process, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and don’t allow other people to pressure you either. It’s important to be resilient and forgive yourself when you mess up. Feeling bad about our actions can help us discover insight into problems with our behavior, but you can keep the insight and drop the humiliation. Ask yourself if you would repeat your actions a second time around. If you wouldn’t, then that points to the fact that you are genuinely remorseful. Tell yourself that making mistakes is human and you're trying your best to do the right thing. Some people have called our time the “age of humiliation.” Being humiliated is a common occurrence for a lot of people, especially with the popularity of the internet, where the intimate details of our lives can show up on public places like social media websites. Humiliation is a widespread phenomenon, although this shouldn’t minimize your feelings or the uniqueness of your situation. If the humiliating experience is lingering in your mind and causing you a lot of pain, use principles and techniques from mindfulness meditation to help you let go of the emotional wound and move on with your life. Frequently, a painful emotion or...


Terima tantangan. Manfaatkan waktu yang terbuang. Selesaikan masalah setiap hari. Fokuskan pemikiran setiap minggu pada satu standar intelektual. Tulis buku harian. Bentuk ulang karakter Anda. Hadapi pemikiran egosentris Anda sendiri. Ubah cara Anda melihat segala sesuatunya. Kenali reaksi emosional Anda. Evaluasi lagi kelompok yang memengaruhi hidup Anda. Pikirkan bagaimana Anda berpikir.

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Improving your critical thinking skills is a commitment to yourself. This is a process that takes time.  Critical thinking is a method of analyzing, evaluating, and making decisions. Most people take thinking for granted and overlook the need to evaluate thinking habits and develop new and positive ways to critically evaluate and react to daily circumstances.  Realize that it takes both time to evaluate, change, and develop critical thinking skills, and practice to arrive at the level you want. Just as a professional athlete or musician continues to sharpen their talents and abilities, you can work to sharpen your thinking skills.  Improving your critical thinking ability requires approaching information and decision making by avoiding prejudice, over-generalization, common fallacies or pre-determined beliefs, deception, and rigidity and narrowness in your thinking.  Doing things that are concrete helps to bring your thinking processes to light, and helps you to make changes that improve your critical thinking. Any one step can be helpful, but actively and routinely practicing changes over time improves your thinking ability. Avoid flipping through channels, getting frustrated while sitting in traffic, worrying unproductively, and jumping from one activity or diversion to another without enjoying anything.  Use that valuable time to ask yourself questions that can improve your approach to the next day. Ask questions that help you evaluate what you did well that day, or not so well. Consider your strengths and weaknesses of the day so far.  If possible, record your answers so you can develop your thoughts in those areas even further. Set aside problems that are out of your control, and focus on the tools you need and the steps to take to solve problems within your control.  Avoid becoming overwhelmed or emotional and work through the problem in an organized, logical, and thoughtful manner.  Consider factors like short-term solutions as opposed to long-term solutions, the advantages and disadvantages of the...


Terima tawaran untuk bergabung tim F1. Dapatkan sponsor. Bayar untuk balapan di F1.

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If you have performed well as an amateur an owner might ask for you to drive for their team. These teams are often owned by car companies and have their own sponsorships to cover costs. They usually sign their drivers on a season-to-season basis. Most Formula 1 drivers have some sponsors that require additional work off the track. To attract sponsors you need to have success on the track and a positive public opinion. You may have to do appearances or photo shoots for your sponsor in addition to your on-track work. Racing is a very expensive sport, so drivers must look to add to supplement their racing income whenever possible. Pay drivers are common in many levels of motorsports, including Formula 1. Instead of being paid by the race team, the driver uses money from sponsorships or their personal fortune to fund the racing operations. While this isn't practical for most new racers in Formula 1, it is an option if you have the ability to pay for it.


Terimalah apa yang tidak bisa diubah. Biasakan berpikir sebelum berbicara atau memberikan reaksi emosional. Jangan khawatir karena memikirkan reaksi orang lain. Jadilah pribadi yang rendah hati dan mau belajar pengetahuan baru. Utamakan keadilan, bukan kekerasan.

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Some things, such as world events and natural disasters, are beyond your control, and there’s no use beating yourself up about something you can’t change. Focus instead on things you can change, like your own choices and judgments. Think of a tennis game. You can’t control things like the skill of your opponent, the referee’s calls, or how random wind gusts might affect the ball. On the other hand, you can decide how much to practice before the game, to show up well-rested, and not to stay up all night partying before the match. Work on having more self-control and self-awareness. Being stoic doesn’t have anything to do with just not talking. It’s more important to think before you speak, whether you’re interested in philosophical Stoicism or want to be stoic in the dictionary sense.  For example, if someone insults you, don’t just blurt out an angry insult back at them. Don’t engage them in an emotional fight, but consider if there’s any truth to their statement and reflect on how you could better yourself. If you feel yourself getting upset and can’t focus on the situation’s facts, try to visualize pleasant surroundings, sing a song in your head, or say a stoic mantra to yourself, such as, “If it’s not in my control, it’s none of my concern.” There’s nothing wrong with talking to people, but try not to ramble nervously and meaninglessly. You can’t control other people, so there’s no reason to be nervous. You also shouldn't feel like you have to conform to other people's standards, especially if it means compromising your own morals. Try to learn at every opportunity, but don’t be a know it all. You can’t learn if you already think you know everything. Wisdom is a core Stoic virtue, and part of cultivating wisdom is admitting that you have a lot to learn.  Educate yourself whenever you can by reading books, listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, and (obviously!) reading how-to guides.  You could listen to podcasts like TEDTalks, RadioLab, and StarTalk Radio. Browse Netflix and other services for...


Terimalah bahwa Anda menyukai si dia, lalu lepaskan perasaan tersebut. Ceritakan perasaan Anda pada teman, keluarga, atau konselor. Ingatlah bahwa si dia hanya satu pria di antara lautan pria lain. Belajarlah dari pengalaman.

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Accept the grief, sadness, loneliness, regret, anxiety, guilt, insecurity, or other negative emotions in the order they come to you. Let yourself be sad, and let yourself heal. Ultimately, the surest path to getting over someone is to be honest with yourself. Don't bottle up your emotions. Ask your support system for advice, and try to understand what went wrong. If you aren't sure what to do next, these people may have the wisdom and insight to guide you.  Talk to parents, older siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents – anyone that you feel comfortable asking for insight. You may even feel comfortable asking a favorite teacher or a leader in your community. Be careful who you trust. If you are spilling your guts to someone for whom your crush is a mutual friend, make sure that this person won't pass along what you say. It may be harder to get over the guy if there's gossip floating around. Consider that there are hundreds of thousands—even millions—of people with whom you can fall in love. He may seem like the one, but this doesn't mean that he is the only one. Nor does it mean you'll never find someone like him again. Think about why this crush didn't work out. Maybe you were into him, but he wasn't into you; maybe he was in a relationship already, or he had eyes for someone else; maybe you said something to turn him off, or he did something that made you decide that he was bad news. Whatever the circumstances, you cannot take back what has happened. You can only absorb this, learn from it, and grow.  Think about what you would have done differently. You might be able to successfully navigate a crush situation in the future by analyzing what went wrong with this guy. Think about the sort of person that you want to pursue. Maybe this guy just wasn't right for you, even if you found yourself attracted to him. Consider which qualities will guide your future crushes, and which personality traits you want to avoid.


Terimalah bahwa Anda tidak dapat mengubah orientasi seksual sang teman. Hindari fokus pada orientasi seksual teman Anda. Dukunglah teman Anda. Percayalah bahwa teman Anda akan menghargai hubungan pertemanan yang telah terjalin. Jagalah kepercayaan diri teman Anda.

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Your friend is certain about their orientation, so whether or not it’s a choice is irrelevant. If you want to be a good friend, take their word for it. Treat your friend’s orientation as a simple fact, like their height, and avoid using language that suggests it is a choice or lifestyle. You don’t have to ignore or forget about your friend’s orientation, but don’t make a big deal of it, either. Treat your friend the same way you did before, and keep spending time together and doing the same things as always. Remember that your friend isn’t defined by their orientation or sex life any more than you are defined by yours. Be there for your friend when they need company or emotional support. Include them in your plans, and offer to help them come out to other people. If someone harasses or bullies your friend, stand up for them. If your friend is dating someone, meet that person. This shows that you have a genuine interest in your friend’s life. When your friend comes out to you, your knee-jerk response might be to worry that they’re sexually interested in you. Try to dismiss this worry. You don’t put the moves on everyone of the opposite gender, so there’s no reason to assume that your friend wants to make a move on you, either.  There is a small chance that your friend may develop feelings for you. If this happens, don’t make a big deal of it. Just say something like, “I’m flattered, but I’m straight.” If they’re a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes. Don’t experiment sexually with your friend, even if you’re curious. Your friend may end up feeling used, especially if you aren’t serious. The risk of ruining your friendship isn’t worth it. Don’t out your friend to anyone else. Ask them who else they have told, and reassure them that they can trust you to keep their orientation confidential. Even if you decide that you can’t maintain the friendship, be respectful of your friend’s privacy and keep the reason to yourself. If anyone asks, just say you drifted apart.


Terimalah bahwa godaan tak dapat terelakan. Jangan berkecil hati karena ketidaksempurnaan Anda. Belajarlah Alkitab. Ingatlah untuk mempercayai Tuhan walaupun sedang tergoda. Ikutilah teladan Kristus.

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Know that, no matter how hard you strive, it's impossible to live a life without temptations. We will always, at certain points, feel a temptation to sin - whether it's as innocuous as the urge to lie about our reason for being late to a meeting or as serious as the urge to strike someone who's insulted you. It's also inevitable that we will give in to this urge at some point.  However,  it's possible, through our efforts, to reduce the hold that temptation has over us. The fight against temptation is like waging a lifelong war - be prepared to celebrate your victories and to learn from your defeats. Never fall prey to self-hate. You are not loathsome or pathetic because you feel temptation. God  always  forgives. Don't get caught up in punishing yourself, even if you find yourself falling prey to temptation again and again. Use your time more intelligently by sincerely asking for God's forgiveness and working to move past your sins. "Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" (Qur'an 39:53) Scripture is full of stories, teachings, and proverbs we can draw upon when we're trying to avoid our sinful temptations. The nature of sin and temptation is a frequent topic of discussion throughout the bible - simply turn to a passage like Romans 7:18 for an illuminating perspective on the difficulty of struggling against temptation: "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." Many of the most revered figures in the Bible had intense struggles with temptation (often marked with failure).  Adam and Eve committed the first sin by giving in to the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit. King David, one of the most important figures in biblical history, had one of his soldiers killed so that he could give in to temptation and steal his wife! Reading the...


Terimalah bahwa hubungan itu telah berakhir. Memutuskan komunikasi. Menyingkirkan pengingat dari hubungan. Menjauhlah dari tempat-tempat yang sering Anda datangi dengan mantan. Hadapi perasaan Anda. Belajar dari hubungan. Temukan cara yang sehat untuk pelampiasan. Temukan seorang panutan. Berkencanlah dengan orang lain.

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You can’t move on until you’ve accepted that you and your former partner are no longer together and that the relationship isn’t coming back. Don’t call, text, email, or otherwise contact or talk to your ex. It will only make it harder for you to get yourself together and move on.  There may be a time when you and your former partner can be friends, but that time is definitely not now.  Absolutely under no circumstances visit their Facebook page. Unfriend them and stay away.  Also stay away from his or her close friends. It may be difficult if you have mutual friends, but for the time being, stick close to your own friends. You’ll avoid getting pulled back into any drama and hearing about what your ex is up to. Go through and get rid of any mementos, photos, or other reminders of your former relationship. You can’t move on if you’re still clinging to remnants of the relationship, and you definitely won’t move on if you still attach sentiment to them. Hanging out in places the two of you used to go will make it harder for you to move on. You may be able to begin going back to them eventually, but for now, stay away. Recognize the feelings that you still have about the person and/or relationship, whether it’s anger, sadness, disappointment, longing, or resentment. Don’t try to hide from the feelings. Instead, allow yourself to feel them fully; so if you need to wallow, then wallow. Accept your feelings so that then you can begin to move on. Think critically about why the relationship ended, including mistakes you made as well as mistakes your ex-partner may have made. Use what you've learned from the mistakes each of you made to begin building strategies to avoid similar missteps in the future. Using healthy outlets will not only help you deal with your feelings but also improve your own well-being at the same time.  Beating yourself up or becoming self-destructive will make the situation infinitely worse and make the process of moving on much longer and harder.  Let your friends and family be your...


Terimalah bahwa orang lain mungkin tidak akan melupakannya. Bicarakan hal tersebut kepada orang lain. Ubahlah hal tersebut menjadi kekuatan. Ubahlah cara berpikir orang lain. Nyatakan tuduhan sebagai kebohongan.

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They may care less with time, but still remember. This doesn't mean fixing your reputation is impossible. Bad reputations are always potentially temporary. It all has to do with time. After some time, people stop caring so much about what you did in the past.  Many people encounter their own failures and the failures of others over time. These stand out more, and they forget about you. Remember that you remember your own failures better than other people. Your bad reputation may be worse in your head than it is in the eyes of others. Research shows that, contrary to popular perception, when compared to other means of social evaluation, reputation matters measurably less than other factors.  Go off the grid and take a break from social media and online. Be frank when addressing the issues surrounding your bad reputation.  If you are calm, respectful, and genuinely concerned, they are likely to help you. By not verbally addressing the problem, you let people's imaginations run wild, and you give rumors free-range.   If someone is actively spreading news of your bad reputation, talk to them first. Ask friends their opinion on the matter. Try not to be defensive. Maybe your bad reputation is a superpower in disguise. Take some time to think about how your bad reputation may be a positive thing and reframe your perception of the situation. You might not be promiscuous, you could be in charge of your sexuality. If people think you play a sport too aggressively, maybe you're your team's heavy artillery. Sometimes you just need to control the perceptions of others. They may not be seeing the situation in the right light. If you can, help others to see the situation in an entirely different light.  Provide a calculated positive perspective. This means finding ways to reframe events and actions that give you a bad reputation. For example, sometimes people shame promiscuous behavior, while others present promiscuity as “owning your sexuality” or being “sex positive.” Think of ways you can help people see your actions in...


Terimalah bahwa rintangan tersebut ada. Bertindaklah. Evaluasi Fakta-Fakta. Gunakanlah apa yang Anda punya. Carilah informasi lainnya. Lihatlah segala kemungkinan. Bicarakan, bicarakan dan bicarakan. Carilah penasihat. Teruslah mencoba hingga Anda menemukan solusi.

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A lot of people will dismiss challenges that come before them. They'll convince themselves that the problem is smaller than it really is or that it doesn't exist in the first place. You need to recognize when you start thinking this way because it's true what they say: the first step in overcoming a problem is admitting that you have one. This isn't a fun part of the equation. Accepting that this challenge is real and that you're going to have to deal with it can be really scary. If you're scared of what this challenge can mean for you, just remember: so far in life, you've met every challenge that's come before you and made it out okay. There's no reason to think that this is any different. It's important, with any challenge that you end up facing, to start doing something about the problem as soon as you possibly can. Each moment of inaction becomes an action in itself. By doing nothing, you're still doing something. And that something probably isn't helping the situation. Problems usually multiply when left to themselves, like rabbits. The sooner you start facing the challenge, the easier it will be to overcome. So, you're ready to start tackling this challenge? Great! The best place to start is by evaluating the facts. What do you really know about what's going on? Are you sure you understand the situation? Don't just deal with what you think the problem is; the real issue might be something you didn't even realize was a problem. Take some time to make sure that you understand the situation as fully as possible.  This usually means that you're going to have to talk to people, although who will depend on your situation. Are you having problems with school? Talk to your teacher. Problems at work? Talk to your boss or a coworker. Problems in your relationship? Talk to your partner. Problems with your health? Talk to your doctor. You get the idea. It can help to make a list. A challenge is rarely one single task or problem, but is instead made up of lots of different parts. Make a list talking about what the...


Terimalah bahwa usaha yang bisa Anda lakukan terbatas. Abaikan iklan-iklan "bertambah tinggi" yang terkesan fantastis di internet. Tidurlah yang cukup. Konsumsi makanan sehat. Lakukan olahraga secara teratur.

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Your final height is determined overwhelmingly by genetics (roughly 70%), with health, nutrition, and environmental factors deciding the remainder (about 30%). So, if you end up shorter or taller than you’d like, blame your genes.  And don’t bother trying to hang on the monkey bars to grow taller! Any online search will result in thousands of hits for sites that offer “can’t miss” methods for increasing your height.  The vast majority of them are junk.  Special pills aren’t going to make you taller, but they might make you sick and they’ll definitely take your money.  Many of the sites describe exercises that will stretch out your body.  While stretching is good, and may possibly make you a little bit taller for a short period, you aren’t going to see long-term gains from doing so.  Remember, gravity always wins. That said, exercises that improve your posture, so that you stand up straighter, can help you at least look taller. The human body produces its growth hormones during sleep, so the more deep, restful sleep you get, the better odds you have of maximizing your genetic height potential. For physical, mental, and emotional health, growing teens should strive for eight to ten hours of sleep nightly, ideally on a consistent schedule to keep their body's clock in proper balance. No, there aren’t any super-foods that are magically going to make you a starting center in the NBA, but proper nutrition can help in your body’s growth process.  You know the drill for healthy eating: more fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, less saturated fats and refined sugars, more fresh food, less processed food. Some particular nutrients, such as calcium, which strengthens bones (and thus helps improve posture), are beneficial to looking and feeling taller.  Other essential nutrients like niacin, vitamin D, and zinc — all of which you consume as part of a varied, healthy diet — may offer added benefits to the body's growth as well. Don’t focus on the exercise plans that claim they will make you taller.  Instead, focus on a...


Terimalah dan atasi rasa khawatir. Tentukan kategori dan tantanglah kekhawatiran Anda. Pikirkan terus sampai bosan. Terimalah ketidakpastian dan ketidaksempurnaan. Pertimbangkan pengaruh sosial. Hiduplah dalam kekinian

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Sometimes, trying to suppress your worries seems to just make them worse. So, don't try to ignore your worries. When they pop into your head, accept them, but then try to move on.  It is hard to avoid thinking about something you are actively trying not to think about.  Writing your worries down or setting a designated "worry time" can be very helpful in letting them pass. When you do think about your worries, a good way to process them is to categorize them. Specifically, for each try to determine the following:   Is this problem one you can solve, or not? If a worry is about a problem you have the power to fix, the best remedy may be to start fixing it. Once you have a plan to fix the problem, you will be less worried. If you cannot solve the problem, accept it, work through it and move on.    Is this worry about something that is likely, or unlikely, to happen? A worry about something that is likely to happen may indeed be troubling. On the other hand, if you decide it is not likely to occur, this can be a first step in letting that worry go.   Is this worry about something about something really bad, or not? Think about what it is that you are worried might happen. If it did occur, how bad would it really be? Most things we worry about aren't actually that terrible. If you decide it wouldn't be a catastrophe, this can help you let go. That's doubly true if it also isn't that likely to happen!  Throughout this process, try to think rationally. Ask yourself what evidence you have that your worry is a realistic one. Think about what you might tell a friend who had the same worry. Try to imagine the most likely outcome, rather than the worst-case scenario. If there is a specific worry that bothers you often, you can try to make it boring, so your brain will return to it less often. Do this by repeating it in your head again and again for several minutes. For example, if you worry that you might get in a car accident, repeat in your head the words "I might get in a car accident, I might get in a car accident."...


Terimalah diri Anda apa adanya. Pikirkan tentang apa yang dianggap normal oleh masyarakat sekitar. Carilah keseimbangan spiritual dan emosional. Hadapi peristiwa traumatis yang menahan Anda.

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Since it takes a lot of work to change who you are, you should first understand who you are. Societies all over are made up of individuals with different personality types and traits. You'll need to decide what is normal for you. Does it mean breaking the mold or conforming to rules within a strict society? To determine your version of normalcy, ask yourself:  Do you feel most comfortable following orders and maintaining rigid social structures? Do you enjoy the independence of figuring things out for yourself? Are you most happy when everyone around you seems to approve of your actions? Would you rather experiment with new styles of living along with people outside of the mainstream? Even though you're an individual, you still live within a society, be it a neighborhood, community, or region. Each of these has a unique set of norms and values which define what is normal. Think about how social practices and institutions in your society support an idea of normalcy. This will help you express your own identity through your interactions with others. For example, you might live somewhere where it's socially acceptable to speak quickly and somewhat abrasively. But, in another region, that kind of behavior might label you as a social outcast. Being aware of this will help you shape your public image. Everyone experiences emotional ups and downs. Be prepared for these and learn how to take care of yourself during rough times. For example, if you get into a heated discussion with someone about your personal beliefs, you should know what makes a normal, appropriate response. Recognize that reacting aggressively indicates a deeper issue that you need to work through. You'll have a better sense of wellness if you live your life according to your own beliefs and feelings, rather than letting someone else dictate what should be appropriate or normal for you. If you've had a traumatic experience at some point in your life, it's normal to feel isolated or different in some way. Trauma can leave permanent effects on bodily...


Terimalah diri sendiri apa adanya. Tumbuhkan harga diri Tunjukkan sikap dan perilaku yang selaras dengan prinsip hidup dan keyakinan Anda. Investasikan waktu dan tenaga untuk mengembangkan diri.

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Accepting yourself often requires a mental attitude adjustment. Try to be slower to criticize yourself or see yourself as inferior to others. Focus on accepting and appreciating who you are as a unique individual. This will lead to authentic behaviors in line with your personality.  This includes accepting your  flaws. Being comfortable with yourself requires you to accept that you are not perfect, and means that you should embrace your quirks and the distinct parts of your personality. For example, it's fine if you have hobbies or interests that differ from those of your friends. Explore the things that interest you, and over time, you'll meet other people who share the same passions. Every person has valid thoughts and ideas, and is gifted and intelligent in unique ways. It is hard to act in a way that is genuine to your personality if you doubt yourself or lack confidence in yourself. People who lack self-esteem often try to act like people they perceive to be confident, or preen and act as if they're overly confident. This is a key sign of inauthenticity.  For example, people with poor self-esteem may dress in the same way that more popular people do, or listen to the same type of music as people that they think are popular. Instead of this, follow your own interests, whether or not other people share them. If you have some emotional baggage, give yourself the time to think about it and move on if possible. Talk to a therapist or a counselor if necessary. Authentic people are in touch with their moral compass and their personal set of beliefs. This includes religious beliefs, moral beliefs, and beliefs of any other kind. These beliefs should be evident in your daily behaviors. Many people unthinkingly adopt a partner's, parent's or friend's beliefs without figuring out if they are right for you.  For example, if you say that all people should be treated equally and yet show obvious disdain for certain types of people, you will not be perceived as authentic. Or, if friends are drinking alcohol or eating...


Terimalah emosi yang Anda rasakan. Ubahlah pola pikir Anda. Hadapi kesenjangan realita. Belajarlah menerima kenyataan. Ucapkan syukur. Jadilah pribadi yang tangguh. Kembangkan kehidupan spiritual.

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You may want to ignore the painful feelings the situation brings up or pretend your feelings do not exist. Recognize that by pushing your feelings away, you create more negative emotions. It’s better to accept your feelings and work through them. Don’t try to rationalize the way you feel; the only way to work through your emotions is by feeling them.  For example, if you lose your job, it’s okay to admit you feel angry, upset, fearful, and vengeful. Set aside 15 minutes each day to feel your emotions. Don’t let your mind interfere, just sit and feel what you feel.  You can journal your thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying releases negative chemicals from the body, and also helps relieve stress, lift your mood, and help you deal with painful circumstances. Try to view the situation as an opportunity to grow and improve. For example, try reminding yourself of how strong and resilient you are during tough times. When you look at things from this perspective, it’s a lot more empowering.  If you didn’t get into the college you wanted to attend, your world isn’t over and you won’t lose your shot at having a career. Remember that you have options and that positive things will come of the situation. Try to keep your worries in perspective. Try asking yourself, “Is this worry really that bad in the grand scheme of things?” If you are worried about something in the future, ask yourself, “How likely is it that this will really happen?” If you find that you are worrying incessantly, try choosing a “worry time.” At the beginning of each day, select a 15 minute time interval, in advance, when you can worry about your problems. If thoughts of any problems try to intrude outside of the designated “worry time,” then remind yourself that it’s not “worry time” yet. Often life gives you one option when you wanted an entirely different option. The greater distance between what you have and what you want, the greater pain you may experience. Recognize that the reality you wanted did not come true, and you must now...


Terimalah fakta bahwa Anda tidak bisa mengatur segala hal. Buanglah standar yang tidak realistis. Jangan takut berbuat salah. Belajarlah untuk mengabaikan dan menerima. Anda harus realistis mengenai apa yang dapat Anda harapkan dalam situasi tertentu. Jangan terlalu serius pada diri sendiri. Lihatlah keadaan dari sudut pandang orang lain.

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One of the biggest reasons some people have a hard time loosening up is because they want to be in control of every situation. They want to be able to predict exactly what's going to happen and when. They want to know when they will succeed, how their boss/best friend/parents will react, and they want to believe that they know exactly what they have to do to get what they want. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. It's filled with surprises and curve balls, both good and bad. If you really want to loosen up, then you have to get ready to expect the unexpected.  It takes baby steps to get here. One way you can start is to start thinking of the multiple outcomes that can happen. Let's say you're up for a promotion. Instead of assuming you'll get it, think of the different options and how you'll react to them – you may get the promotion, or you may be told that you will get it pretty soon, or you may be told that you need to work harder if you really want that promotion. Whatever happens, if you're prepared in advance, you'll be less freaked out when “the unexpected” happens. There are some things you really can't prepare for in advance. Maybe you and your boyfriend are on your way to a romantic getaway when your car breaks down. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes, you have to learn to laugh at the things you can't control. Let go of being a micro-planner. If you obsessively plan every fifteen-minute block of your day, then you are guaranteed to be frustrated and disappointed when something doesn't go your way. This is another thing that may be in the way of you loosening up. You may expect everyone to be on their best behavior 24/7. You may think that your teachers, your boss, your friends, your significant other, or anyone else in your life is able to read your mind all the time. You may think that the world should give you what you deserve. Well, if you want to loosen up, then you have to learn to accept the imperfections of the world around you; if you want to be able to determine how everyone around you...


Terimalah fakta bahwa emosi itu rumit. Evaluasi ketakutan dan rasa tidak aman yang Anda rasakan. Identifikasi kebutuhan dan keinginan Anda sendiri.

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Oftentimes, people feel the need to reconcile mixed feelings completely. You may feel you need to have only one feeling towards a person. However, mixed feelings are common. In fact, the majority of relationships you have will come with some degree of mixed feelings.  Mixed emotions can actually reflect maturity. Rather than polarizing a person as either good of bad, you're able to see both their good and bad qualities. Sometimes, you love your boyfriend for his spontaneous nature. Other times, you find yourself annoyed that he's so unpredictable. Try to accept that there will be a degree of mixed feelings in any relationship. If you still want to be with someone, despite mixed feelings, this is actually a good sign. You're willing to acknowledge imperfections and frustrations, but still want to be with another person. If you're prone to mixed feelings and uncertainty, there may be reasons for this. If you have a lot of underlying fears or insecurities, you may find you doubt yourself frequently.   Have you been rejected in the past by someone important? If so, you may have a chronic fear of rejection. Frequent mixed feelings may be a way to protect yourself from getting invested. Are you an insecure person? If you're fearful of being abandoned, and do not feel good enough for love or commitment, this will affect almost all your actions. You may have mixed feelings getting into relationships because you're afraid of getting involved. In order to assess whether a relationship is right for you, you need to know what you want. Know what you need and want from a romantic partner. Figure out whether this person can provide that.  Think about your emotional reactions to events in your life. How can someone best support you emotionally? What do you need from another person? It can be helpful to make a list of attributes that are important to you in a romantic partner. Consider whether this person will be able to fulfill these romantic attributes for you.


Terimalah hal ini sebagai sebuah proses. Tentukan nilai-nilai yang Anda yakini. Ujilah apa keyakinan Anda tentang diri sendiri. Kenali perilaku Anda secara menyeluruh dengan jujur. Tentukan secara spesifik apa yang harus Anda ubah. Tentukan tujuan untuk diri sendiri. Rumuskan tujuan yang positif. Carilah tokoh panutan.

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“Becoming a better person” is a process that you will likely spend the rest of your life on, so accept the fact that it's going to take a long process to becoming a better person. There isn't one specific moment where you will finally have it all together and no longer have any room for growth. Opening yourself up to the process of change and growth helps you develop flexibility, and flexibility is key to consistently being the type of person you want to be in each situation. Accept that your goals and values may change over time. They may also change between situations. This is normal. Even the best of intentions are unlikely to go anywhere unless you have a solid understanding of your values. “Values” are what you hold most important in life. They are the core beliefs that shape who you are as a person, and how you live your life. Reflecting on your values will help you determine what is truly important to you.  For example, “being a good parent” or “spending time with friends” could be values. These are things that help you define your sense of your best self. “Value congruence” is how much your behavior aligns with your values. For example, if a value is “spending time with friends,” but you always allow work to take precedence over socializing, that isn't value-congruent. Behavior that isn't value-congruent can cause you to feel dissatisfied, unhappy, or guilty. Our identities are also shaped by those around us. For example, psychological studies have repeatedly demonstrated that people begin learning prejudice at a very early age. These learned behaviors and beliefs affect the way we perceive ourselves and those around us. Understanding where your ideas about yourself come from can help you modify unhelpful beliefs, and embrace the ones that make sense to you. We also learn from others how to consider ourselves in relation to larger groups, such as race or gender. These can be essential components of our own identity. Consider how you react to stress, how you cope with loss, how you manage your anger,...


Terimalah hal yang positif sekaligus juga hal yang negatif. Ingatlah mengapa Anda berdua berteman sejak awal. Terimalah kepribadian teman Anda. Terbukalah terhadap kualitas-kualitas istimewa dalam diri Anda juga. Jujurlah mengenai keragu-raguan Anda. Sadari bahwa skor kecerdasan (IQ) tidak sama dengan kemampuan bersosialisasi. Jelaskan mengenai teman Anda kepada teman Anda lainnya. Beri tahukan saat teman Anda bertingkah keterlaluan.

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No friend is one-dimensional, but instead a multi-layered individual. Part of being a good friend is accepting every part of your friend’s personality. Take the ups and downs in your friendship as they come, which can forge a better and stronger friendship.  Be understanding of the quirks that may come with an intelligent friend. Remember that she may be highly intelligent at math, but terrible at relating to other people. For example, if your friend feels threatened, she may fall back on her intelligence to boost her confidence. As long as your friend isn’t hurting another person, let this roll off your back. Be understanding whenever your friend is in a bad mood, having a bad day, or socially awkward. You can always explain to others, “Normally she is really fun and easygoing but she’s under a lot of stress and it sometimes makes her a bit insecure and snarky. I hope you’ll have a chance to meet my friend at a better time.” Whether it was sharing toys in the sandbox or bonding over a lab in college, there was some spark that started your friendship. Think about what bonds you and your friend if you are having difficulty in the friendship or can’t connect any longer.  Think about what you share in common. Did your love of World of Warcraft or interest in playing soccer spark a friendship? Were you both competitive in the spelling bee or Model UN at school? Or did you both have a job at a fast food restaurant?  Whatever interests you shared in the past, draw on your common interests to keep your friendship strong. Ponder your pal’s personality in all of its dimensions. Is your intelligent friend also sensitive and kind, or does have strong insight and the ability to read others? Focus on the qualities that make this person special and not what upsets you. Gifted or highly intelligent individuals may exhibit unique characteristics such as being extremely creative and passionate about specific things. Your intelligent friend may also not approach problems or situations like other friends, which is part of what...


Terimalah hal-hal yang terjadi di luar rencana. Mulailah pembicaraan dengan orang-orang yang Anda temui. Jagalah hubungan baik. Tetaplah membuka diri. Lihatlah sisi baiknya.

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Spontaneity can throw you off, but it's also an unavoidable part of life. If you want to have good luck, you will need to learn to adapt to unplanned events and embrace the possible outcomes. For example, you might be surprised at work with overtime, and your social plans for the night might be ruined. Sometimes overtime is just overtime and nothing more comes of it. Consider the possibility, however, that your boss will see you working hard and without complaint during that overtime. By leaving a good impression, you may unintentionally encourage your boss to give you greater opportunity within the company, which could lead to better pay or a higher sense of job satisfaction. Share your story with friendly strangers and acquaintances. You may make a connection with someone unexpected, and that connection might prove more beneficial than you ever could have imagined.  You don't need to tell your entire life story to every stranger you meet, but when the opportunity presents itself, take the time to have a real conversation with someone you may not know very well yet. Ask the people you meet about their lives, including their dreams and struggles. More often than not, they will return the favor and ask you about yours. Aside from meeting new people, you also need to maintain good relationships with the people already in your life. Learn to trust others and let yourself rely on them when the time is appropriate. These relationships can also benefit you in unexpected ways.  You need to maintain your ties to people in both your personal and professional life. For good or for ill, the people around you are usually responsible for half if not more of your luck. If you push people away or neglect your relationships, the lucky breaks that others might lead you to will be lost. Chasing a goal is great, but every now and then, you should reassess your goals and ask yourself if they are really working for you as well as they could. When you get a sign pointing you in a different direction, consider following it. Avoid...


Terimalah jika temanmu menolak permohonan maafmu. Tunjukkan kepadanya bahwa kamu bersungguh-sungguh dengan permohonan maafmu. Biarkan pertengkaran yang telah terjadi menjadi kisah lama.

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In some cases, he might not be willing to accept your apology. It is important to accept this yourself.  Do not get mad at him and do not yell at him. It is his right to accept or reject your apology, and if you really offended or hurt him, he might want to do that. If your mistake has cost you your friendship, you need to take responsibility for that. Avoid begging for his forgiveness or asking him what you can do to make it up to him. Rather, take the initiative to regain his trust by doing those things on your own. In your apology, you likely told him a way that you will make it up to him. Show him you were serious by following through with those promises.  Do whatever it takes to make it up to him without complaint. Complaining about it will only negate your apology and possibly put the guilt or blame on him. It is, quite possibly, even more important to follow through if he rejected your apology because this is a big way that you will try to regain his trust. Once the apology and the disagreement are over, it is best to let the whole situation fall into the past. Do not bring it up over and over again, regardless of whether he accepted or rejected your apology. If he accepted it, then bringing it up will likely become annoying and cause a new issue. If he rejected it, then bothering him about it frequently will likely only push him further away.


Terimalah kegagalan Anda. Buatlah gambaran yang bisa membantu menjabarkan pikiran Anda. Sediakanlah waktu pribadi sehingga Anda dapat berpikir. Dedikasikanlah untuk memiliki pikiran yang terbuka. Bekerjalah dengan tangan dan/kepala untuk menciptakan hal baru. Konsepkanlah kembali masalah Anda. Bedakanlah antara kreativitas dan produktivitas.

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Failure is a necessary part of the creative and learning experience. Embrace it as such, and commit yourself to learning from your failures and your mistakes. This way, you'll grow to see every failure as an opportunity for improvement and innovation rather than an obstacle or a limit on your success. Sometimes we get ideas that seem to vanish before we’ve committed them to paper. Many thoughts are seemingly random and disconnected. Try drawing a mind map on a piece of paper. Now, because you can see your ideas, you might be able to understand them and their relationships better.  List your seemingly random ideas. Pick some of your most intriguing ideas, and write them on various places on a sheet of paper. Place them according to how you think they are connected. Draw lines connecting ideas. Draw spur lines of important ideas and connect them to lesser ideas. Taking a little time to contemplate the world or to reflect on things will help expand your horizons. Spending time alone will also enable you to consider problems you’ve been trying to work through and find new solutions that you might not have thought about before. Having an open mind will enable you to think about problems that you might not have thought about before. You’ll also be able to engage ides and ways of doing things that you were previously hesitant about.  Part of this is accepting the position that there are often many ways to solve a problem or achieve a goal. Accept that there are many ways to view the world. Then you can see that there are many ways to be creative and solve problems. Understand that you don’t know everything, and every activity is a learning experience. Consider unpopular or even “weird” ways of viewing things or solving problems. These unconventional ideas or views might just give you a creative spark. Actual creating is the best practice to train your brain for creativity. There are a number of things you can do to train your brain in this way:  Drawing. If you enjoy drawing, draw. It does not really matter if you...


Terimalah kegagalan Mintalah dukungan. Ikuti intuisi Anda. Jangan menyerah.

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Setbacks and failures will happen; they're a natural part of life. Failures are simply a way of showing you what works and what does not. They will help you figure out what you are capable of, and what needs work as you move toward achieving your goal(s).   Do not take failure personally. Failure to achieve a goal does not mean you are a failure as a person. Move on. After you have learned from your failed attempt, let the failure go. One way to keep your morale high is to look at any setbacks as learning opportunities. Failing once does not mean you will fail in the future. In fact, having failed, you are now more prepared to succeed the next time. Visualize your past successes. This can give you the mental boost you need to get past the stress of your failure. Whether you are dealing with addiction, obsession, or any crisis, it helps to have external support. This could mean friends, family, coworkers, or buddies at the gym. You do not have to do it alone.  Tell someone you see frequently about your goals. When the people in your life know about your goals, they can help you achieve them and hold you accountable. Sometimes our willpower fails us, but the people around us can help. Intuition comes from experience and instinct. Although you must be open to change, you should also be willing to trust your own experience and knowledge.  Trust your experience, but be open to new experiences too. Your intuition can help you make better decisions. Remember that intuition and contemplation are not mutually exclusive. You can use your intuition to help inform your decision-making process, even when you are not relying on it fully.  Intuition is a helpful tool for making quick decisions. This can free you up to work on other important goals. You do not need to dwell on every decision, but acting on intuition does not mean making the decision lightly either. In your journal, keep a list of the times your intuition helped you. Reference your journal when you are working through a problem. Achieving your full potential...


Terimalah kehilangan Anda. Bersedihlah. Kendalikan diri anda. Antisipasilah semua skenario. Jangan memburu-buru prosesnya. Ciptakan perpindahan dengan mengambil tindakan.

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Relationships are important and allow us to experience emotional highs and the lows, learn about ourselves, and learn how to love and be loved. These are crucial elements for living a fulfilling life. Whether you initiated the break-up or not, there is a grieving process that occurs.  Tell the person, “I just want to acknowledge that ending this relationship didn't feel good. I know it's going to be hard and awkward to see each other for a while. I will do my best to respect your boundaries and I would appreciate you doing the same.” This may lead to further discussion at which time you can reinforce your expectations. It is important to acknowledge the relationship was important to your personal development, regardless of how short or involved it was. If you deny the feelings associated with the break-up and pretend that it wasn't important, you won't learn from the experience. Most people are taught how to acquire things, but very few people are taught how to lose something. Whether the loss is a relationship, a loved one, a job, a physical ability, or trust in someone, the damage created must be understood and managed. Grief is a complex emotion that manifests in different ways.  There are stages to the grieving process that can be used as a guide to understanding your own unique experience with grief: denial, numbness and shock; bargaining; depression; anger; acceptance.  Start a grief journal and write about the feelings you are having in each stage. Grief is an individual journey. Everyone experiences it differently.  You may spend more time in one stage versus another. Don't rush yourself and don't allow others to rush you through your grief. There is a time to grieve and it is essential to the healing process. Breaking up feels like an emotional setback. It's going to take your full attention and effort to carry you through the journey. Find a way to give yourself a running start at the challenges ahead. It is a normal response to fall apart to a certain degree, and each time you pull yourself...


Terimalah kekurangan Anda. Maafkan diri Anda. Ciptakan sistem pendukung yang baik. Syukuri kelebihan Anda. Renungkan hidup Anda.

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Even the women on your list of ‘perfect women’ will have flaws. A flaw is not something that makes you unlovable or worthless. Rather, you will always have some way to develop personally. When you see a flaw, find ways to better yourself. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself daily, before you leave the house:  ’I accept myself, I improve by learning and self-educating myself – I accept myself.’  ’I approve of myself, I work hard every day to achieve my goals – I approve of myself.’ Remind yourself that the past is the past. If there are any mistakes you’ve made, allow yourself to move on. Your past performance does not define your future. If there is anything you’re currently doing that’s causing you grief, start replacing that behavior with an alternative one that will give you peace of mind. This may be difficult as it takes time to replace habits. Talk to someone about how you feel about things that you’re finding hard to let go. Other people can help give you different perspectives and encourage you to move on. Surround yourself with people who give you positive affirmations and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Distance yourself from those who put you down and constantly berate you. It’s not possible to avoid negative people completely but try your hardest to stop socializing with them and limiting your daily interactions with them at school or work. If someone you interact with on a daily basis is constantly bullying you, either confront her about the issue or discuss the matter with your supervisor or a trusted colleague for advice on how best  to approach the matter. At the end of every day, remind yourself of the things you achieved today. Remind yourself of both big and small things. Small achievements can include things like, ‘I made my bed before leaving for school this morning.’ Some achievements may seem small but may have required a lot of effort, e.g. ‘I didn’t snap back at my sister when she was being rude to me.’ Periodically reward yourself for doing things well. Go out...


Terimalah kembali pecandu ke dalam kehidupan Anda. Tanyai perkembangannya. Miliki pengetahuan yang cukup sehingga bisa segera membantu pecandu di masa depan. Tunjukkan terus sikap positif pada interaksi Anda dengan pecandu; tetapi bersikaplah jujur, serius dan terang-terangan apabila perlu.

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A person who has overcome a drug addiction will need structure in his life. You can be a big part of making that happen. A welcoming attitude might be exactly what the person needs. Every person has a need to feel a sense of belonging, and you can foster that for the person.  Encourage and suggest the potential freedoms of new, healthier lifestyles. Invite the person to go with you on new adventures. Be mindful not to pursue those things that might increase the urge to partake in drugs. The goal is to help the person not feel alone and to assure him that he can reach out to you and others when needed. He is going to be nervous, afraid and uncertain of his ability to stay sober. Make it clear that you are genuinely concerned for the person and want him to be successful. It is important that he attend therapy or support group meetings. These are likely to be a requirement of any rehabilitation program.  Help the person be accountable to his program. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him stay committed to attending. Don't let him slack off. Offer to attend meetings with him if you both are comfortable with the idea. Always celebrate accomplishments. If a person is sober for one day or 1000 days, each day deserves a celebration. Drug addiction is a chronic disease, therefore it can be managed, but not cured. Relapses will most likely happen, and everyone involved should not consider a relapse a failure. However, treatment will be needed following each relapse.  Once you go through the process of helping a person with an addiction, you will have the know-how and information necessary to help. Psychologists and psychiatrists are available in your local area and can be located through the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association. You can also find a substance abuse counselor using the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Association (SAMHSA) website.  Be there for the person (text, call, see him, do fun activities, play sports, hang out, and support the person’s...


Terimalah kenyataan bahwa Anda hanyalah manusia biasa yang tak luput dari kesalahan. Tuliskan situasi yang terjadi. Lakukan berbagai ritual keagamaan jika Anda merupakan sosok yang religius. Berfokuslah pada masa depan, bukan masa lalu. Bersabarlah.

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Convert guilt into something empowering by being compassionate towards yourself. You are not the first to cheat—lots of others have stood in your shoes. Recognize that common thread of humanity and you won't feel so guilty for making a mistake.  You might softly caress your shoulders and back while saying “I am only human. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes.” This affirmation doesn't excuse your wrongdoing—it simply helps alleviate your suffering. You may add an addendum to the statement with something like "I did wrong, but I can try to make amends and do better in the future." Unload the painful feelings you are experiencing through a journaling activity. Doing so can help ease guilt and give you some objectivity about the situation. You may even uncover a solution while writing.  Write out in vivid detail exactly what happened. Express your thoughts and feelings about the situation. You might say, "I slept with my ex. I regret it, but I feel so guilty. I don't want my partner to find out, but I don't know how to move forward." If you are worried about someone else reading what you wrote, you might put the paper into a shredder or set it on fire. This act of destruction can also help symbolize that the cheating (and guilt) doesn't have to continue to affect you. Use your belief in a higher power to overcome guilt. You might do this by reading scripture, praying, meditating, fasting, or confiding in a spiritual advisor. Your faith may offer guidance as to how you can move forward after cheating. Following spiritual practices may give you peace and acceptance that ultimately minimize guilt. It's easy to get down on yourself about cheating, but dwelling on the past will only keep you hostage. Practice  thought-stopping when guilty feelings emerge. Rather than entertaining them, ask yourself “What now?” and try to continuously take positive action that moves you forward. For example, if negative thoughts arise about what you've done in the past, you might ask "What now?" and identify one small positive...


Terimalah kenyataan bahwa menangkal pikiran-pikiran buruk ada sesuatu yang menantang. Biarkan pikiran-pikiran negatif tersebut muncul. Buatlah strategi penanganan. Lakukan meditasi dan terapkan kesadaran. Buatlah jurnal. Pandanglah pikiran buruk yang muncul sebagai dugaan atau hipotesis.

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Research has shown that people have a more difficult time blocking unwanted thoughts when they believe that they should be able to do so easily. When it was explained to them that blocking any though, even positive ones, is difficult, it was much easier for them to block out the thoughts they wanted to ignore. So relax, and don't put so much pressure on yourself. The pressure will only bring bad thoughts back to you! Research has shown that if we try too hard to distract ourselves from otherwise normal unpleasant thoughts, our minds can focus on them so much that they become destructively bad, obsessive thoughts. Another study showed that subjects who distracted themselves from bad thoughts with music were eventually soured on the experience of music itself.  A normal unpleasant thought might be a "what if" scenario about something undesirable happening, like a burglary. This is, in fact, a very natural, and useful thought, as it can remind us to lock our doors and windows at night and not take risks with our safety or the safety of those we love. It's when this thought becomes irrational – you never leave your house, buy two pitbulls, and install a security system even though you live in a quiet, low-crime neighborhood – that it reduces your quality of life. Instead of trying to distract yourself every single time you have a bad thought, let them run their course. If it is a normal unpleasant thought, you can acknowledge it and, if necessary, take action (your thought about being burglarized reminds you that you didn't lock the back door, so you go and lock it.) You can also try thanking your brain for trying to protect you, and move on. If the thought does not go away, then you can practice the process outlined in methods one and two to help you resolve them. We all have undesirable or counter-productive thoughts from time to time. It will be easier to deal with bad thoughts if you have a plan in place for how you'll react if they pop into your mind unbidden. Your strategy should follow the formula: “If X...


Terimalah kenyataan bahwa orang-orang dapat saling menjauh. Cobalah temui teman-teman baru. Jangan bandingkan teman-teman baru dengan sahabat lama. Jalani hobi baru. Berikan kesempatan bagi diri sendiri untuk meratapi persahabatan yang hancur. Maafkan diri sendiri atas peran yang dimainkan dalam hancurnya persahabatan. Tunjukkan sopan santun saat berinteraksi dengan sang mantan sahabat melalui teman-teman lain.

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Sometimes, regardless of how much effort either person puts into the relationship, people drift apart. As you grow older, you might find that you and your best friend end up with different interests or goals. This is very normal, and the last thing you should do is feel guilty about it.  Be grateful and glad for the time you did get to bond with your friend. Even if your friendship has dwindled or changed, you still had that opportunity to know them and grow from it as a person. As one person, you can only do so much. If you friend has moved away, or switched schools, or gotten married, there’s only so much either of you can do to keep up with one another. Don’t fault yourself for your limitations. Regardless of the circumstances of your loss of friendship, don’t let it keep you from inviting new people into your life. Put yourself out there and make an effort to make new friends. Think about the qualities you really value in a friend. Look for these qualities in new people. Don’t be afraid to ask that person in class or at work to hang out, or grab a cup of coffee. Add some new acquaintances on social media and send them a message. When you lose someone from your life that you were especially close with, it’s easy to compare every new friend to the one you lost. Instead, recognize the good qualities in each new friend, and learn to embrace them as their own person, rather than trying to use them to fill the spot left by the friend you lost. Be open minded about making new friends. Don’t focus on finding a friend who is exactly like the one you lost. Instead, open your mind to new possibilities, and to making friends in unlikely places. One quick way to both meet new people and also to busy yourself productively is to pick up a new hobby. Join a club or sports team, or try a new form of exercise, like yoga or jogging. You might still run into your ex-friend, especially if they still go to the same school, or if they are involved in the same activities. But, don’t let that deter you from enjoying new things....


Terimalah kenyataan bahwa segala sesuatunya telah terjadi. Lepaskan amarah yang menguasai Anda. Berfokuslah untuk merasa nyaman dan bahagia. Lepaskan ketegangan yang Anda rasakan pada tubuh. Bicarakan masalah yang ada dengan orang yang bersangkutan. Bercerminlah pada perkembangan diri.

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In order to begin the forgiveness process you have to first accept that the promise was broken. Wishing that things had happened differently or that the person was more reliable only heightens the resentment. When you allow yourself to be angered by the actions of another person, you’re essentially relinquishing some of your own personal power. You cannot change the actions of other people and ruminating over their actions only results in you feeling bad. Make the decision that the broken promise and the promise breaker will no longer have power over you. Here are things that you can do to help release the anger:  Use affirmations to tell yourself a different story. Try telling yourself aloud several times each day “I need to forgive _____ for breaking their promise.” Being mindful and focusing on gratitude and kindness will help to reduce overall anger. When you feel yourself starting to get angry about the empty promise, ask yourself “What am I thankful for today” so that you can re-center yourself before the anger gets out of control. Recognize how bad it feels to hold onto grudges. Notice that the bad feelings are not helping you but are actually making you feel worse. Remind  yourself out loud that “I am the person being hurt because of my lack of forgiveness, not _____.” Remember, releasing the negative emotions will actually help you begin to feel better. When you are angry with a person it results in your body going into fight-or-flight mode.   The mind and body are very connected so when you allow your body to release stress and tension you’ll be in a better frame of mind to forgive. Deep breathing is a great way to de-stress and release anger:  Sit in a chair with your spine straight. You’ll probably be most comfortable with the back of the chair supporting your back. Close your eyes and put one hand on your stomach. Slowly inhale by taking in a deep breath. You should feel the breath start in your abdomen and work its way up to your head. Slowly exhale. You should feel the breath release from you...


Terimalah kenyataan bahwa sekolah adalah bagian dari hidupmu. Buatlah daftar hal-hal positif. Bersiaplah untuk bertemu teman-teman. Tuliskan pesan pagi untuk diri sendiri. Bergabunglah dengan kegiatan ekstrakurikuler yang menyenangkan. Buatlah tujuan yang ingin dicapai di sekolah.

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Even though it may be difficult, recognize that school is here to stay--for now. The downside is that you have to get through school, and that can make it seem like a terrible punishment. But, the positive is that school is not permanent, and once you're done you'll be in a position to see how good it was for you in the long run.  If you have thoughts about school, like how terrible it will be or how much you don’t want to go, remind yourself that there are good parts of school that you can see here and now.  For example, tell yourself, “oh c'mon, it’s not that bad—at school you get to see all your friends!” You can also try looking at school as a challenge. Your worry isn't coming from nowhere. After all, school really does present a challenge, and recognizing that will help you summon the strength and bravery that it takes to make it there. In order to boost your confidence so that you know you are ready to be successful in school, take some time to think about all the things you like about yourself. Write down all of your features and personality traits that you like--your eyes, for example, or your sense of humor. Continue to think about your positive traits, adding everything you are good at in school--maybe you're a modest biology whiz or an excellent speller. Then, add all of the things you have achieved to the list, including your talents, good things that you've done for others, and meaningful compliments that you have received.Keep your list close to you, as it will be a good resource. When you feel worried and don't quite know why, look at the list to remind yourself of how capable you are of getting through school. Chances are good that when you go to school you'll come into contact with people you really like...and others you're not so fond of. If you're concerned about being uncomfortable around schoolmates, arrive ready with a strategy that suits you. For example, if you're soft spoken and shy, be prepared to avoid talking and being around people who get you down. If you're outgoing, make it a...


Terimalah masa lalu Anda. Ingatlah bahwa terdapat alasan di balik setiap kejadian. Pikirkan kegagalan serta keberhasilan Anda. Jangan umumkan bahwa Anda akan memulai hidup baru.

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You can't start over in your life if you're still holding onto the past. Whether be a relationship, job, family or other situation, you need to accept what has happened.  Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness or understanding. It just means that you have realized something has happened, you acknowledged it, and you are ready to move on from it. Remember that pain and suffering aren't the same thing. You will feel pain and hurt when you're life isn't going in the direction you want, but you don't have to suffer. Suffering is a choice. Nothing last forever, including pain. So acknowledge it, experience it, and move on from it. Don't center your life around the hurt and the failures; get out of that story and avoid the drama (e.g., "I will never find love again" or "I will never be able to get another job"). This is not to say that you are powerless and that things are just "fated" to be a certain way. Rather, nothing has meaning besides the meaning you assign to it. It's up to you to make every event, incident, and moment in your life empowering or disempowering. The lessons you are to learn won't be obvious; you instead have to discover what your life is telling you. For example, what if you are asked to step down from a position in your career because your ideas for the business are too big or you are taking things in a different direction than what management envisions for the company? Instead of reading this as a failure on your part, think of it as confirmation that you and your boss have fundamentally different visions and that perhaps it's time to part ways so you can realize your vision elsewhere. You can't "quit life", so instead of getting down when things aren't work out as planned, ask yourself, "What is or was working in my situation or circumstance?"  Write it all down. Keep notes to yourself about your successes, even the small ones. Write every night about something that went well that day. Focusing on the positive helps attract more of it!  Then think about how can promoting what is...


Terimalah pasangan Anda yang menua. Syukuri hidup bersama-sama. Jangan terlalu banyak memikirkan masa lalu.

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Your spouse's body, personality, goals and dreams are going to change over the years, just like you are changing. Married couples need to accept each other as they change and mature, rather than struggling to hold on to youth that is no longer there.  Don't see your spouse's changing body as being full of flaws. Our culture views aging as something to resist, but this is a backwards view. Changing skin and hair can be beautiful in their own right. Be glad you and your spouse get to grow old together! Be flexible enough to accept your spouse's changing personality, too. People tend to get a little harder as they age, but they also get wiser. Help your spouse mature into a happy, whole, fulfilled person by being flexible and accepting. Remember when you took your marriage vows? You never could have imagined all you'd go through together as a couple. Look how far you've come, and how much you've accomplished, and be grateful for it. Expressing your gratefulness to your partner will re-energize your marriage and help you look forward to a long future together. Don't compare your spouse to his or her former self, and don't compare your marriage to its early stages. Life is full of changes, and that's a good thing. Wishing things were as they used to be isn't going to help your marriage to grow. And would you really want it to remain stunted forever, anyway? You can enjoy talking about memories and looking at old pictures, but try not to get overly wistful and nostalgic. Focus on the here and now, and planning for the future.