Talk about your concerns with someone you trust. Avoid negative people Connect with the community.

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Find someone who can be a mentor.  Life isn’t easy, and sometimes your parents may not be the best mentors.  Look to people in your school like a teacher or guidance counselor.  Think about neighbors, church members, or other people in the community that have been looking out for you. Be honest with them about what you’re thinking and feeling.  No one succeeds alone.  Getting your life started will feel a lot less overwhelming when you reach out and talk with someone you trust. .  Don’t waste your time with people who put you down, pressure you, or make you feel worthless.  You are a unique person, and with some effort, you can find your path.  Identify people in your life that are positive and caring.  Spend more time with them. Learn the difference between people who annoy or hurt you versus people who may come across as negative because they are telling you to be cautious.  Not all criticism is bad, so think before you discredit someone's point. Trust your own judgment if negativity seems to dominate a conversation.  Some people may want you to fail because it makes their life easier, or because they are struggling and want things to be difficult for other people, too.  Be strong and be positive. Reach out to your community for advice and help.  Your friends and family are not the only people that have advice.  There are lots of people who may help you see different opportunities or perspectives that you never thought possible.  Consider connecting with:  A guidance counselor, or other school staff that you trust Your local library. Librarians can help find subjects that interest you about starting out, and learning how to be independent. A neighborhood community center such as a YMCA, or an arts or fitness center Leadership groups for teens through your school, or a non-profit center for youth A group through your local church or place of worship Your local community college for technical school opportunities or training


Talk about your feelings to encourage others to speak up. Use books and movies to casually bring up depression. Spread the message that depression is a real illness. Share your own personal story to motivate others. Advise people to check up on their own mental health. Educate yourself about mental illness, depression, and suicide. Encourage people in need to use the suicide prevention hotline number.

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Most people don't openly talk about how they're feeling, especially when they're depressed, making them feel as if they're completely alone. By talking to friends, family members, and acquaintances about your own feelings, you'll encourage other people to do the same.  Even just talking about how you’re feeling with other people—the good feelings and the bad—will help reduce the stigma. Talking to others about depression gives confidence to people struggling with depression, encouraging them to talk about their own experiences or get help. Watch a movie about a character going through depression, or read a book that delves into the topic of mental health. If you're talking to a friend and don't know how to bring up the topic, start a conversation about the book or movie for a more natural talk.  You can stick to just commenting on the book or movie, or you can relate the character’s experiences to your own. For example, you could say, "I read this book last week about a girl struggling with depression, and it got me thinking about my own struggles and hardships." Depression is sometimes talked about as if it’s just all in someone’s head, or it’s not a real illness. This isn’t true, and helping people understand that depression is real will help spread awareness. You can do this by telling others facts and statistics related to depression.  For example, create flyers and posters with statistics about how many people suffer from depression and how often it's overlooked, making sure to say where you got the information. Talk to people about how depression can be treated. If you’re comfortable with sharing your own struggles, feelings, or thoughts, both good and bad, talk to others about the things you’ve experienced. This not only helps start the conversation, but it encourages others to share their own stories as well while showing them they’re not alone.  For example, tell someone about a hard time that you went through, such as the loss of a loved one, losing your job, a bad breakup, or having to move to a...


Talk about your finances. Discuss how a child will impact your relationship. Get the support of your family and friends.

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Children are expensive. They need food, clothes, diapers, healthcare, and require additional space. Many couples worry about how they can afford a baby that they were not expecting. Look at your current financial situation and see where you can cut back and save some money.   You and your spouse can also get expert advice from a financial advisor. Visit the Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion website to calculate the cost of raising a child for the first year. Becoming parents will change the relationship between you and your spouse. Sleep deprivation, decreased intimacy, and new responsibilities are the biggest areas that your relationship will change. Talk with your spouse about how you two plan to handle these aspects of your relationship and create realistic expectations.  If you plan to keep the baby, talk about how you will divvy up the responsibilities (e.g. feeding, getting the baby ready before work, staying at home with the baby, parental leave, etc.) Intimacy usually decreases after you have a baby. Talk with your spouse about how you will handle this. You and your spouse will need support no matter what decision you make. Your family and friends can help you every step of the way. Let them know that you are pregnant and how you and your spouse are feeling. You are definitely not the only couple that has experienced an unplanned pregnancy.  Let your support system know what you need. Be clear if you want advice or if you just need to vent. If you do plan to keep the baby, you will already have a support system in place. You will definitely need help once the baby arrives.


Talk about your passions. Tell a story. Be confident. Give a compliment. Change the subject Find something non-threatening to comment upon.

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If you're enthusiastic and proud about what you do, other people will respond to that passion. Talk about personal achievements or goals that make you unique and give insight to your personality. For example, if you are with a group of outdoor enthusiasts, you might say something like, "I was rock climbing this last weekend and on-sighted a 5.9 with no beta!" They’ll either be interested or ask what a 5.9 with no beta is!   Avoid bragging about competitive topics or comparing yourself to other people. Focus on your personal goals and how achieving them made you feel. Be tactful about topics the other person may be sensitive to. Don't talk about your great vacation to someone who can't afford one, or brag about your successful diet to someone struggling to lose weight. If you're not good at celebrating your accomplishments, ask a friend or family member who's proud of you to give you ideas. During a pause, share new information about yourself in the form of an entertaining story. You could say something like, “The funniest thing happened to me the other night.” Then share a memorable experience that you had. Maybe you recently were locked out of your house and had to find a way to break in. A good story will engage the other person and take the conversation further. You have something valuable to contribute to any conversation. You have a unique perspective that others would love to hear. Make sure to be aware of your importance in any conversation and give yourself permission to contribute as you see fit. Ultimately, a good conversation lets people share themselves with one another. Be yourself to forge a real connection and avoid awkwardness. Take a chance and share something that’s very meaningful to you. For example, you could talk about an important goal you have, such as a desire to run a marathon. Even if the other person doesn’t relate, they will get to know you better and you can find out about something they hope to accomplish. This is always a safe bet, as long as it is appropriate. For example, you...


Talk in a calm, even voice. Have assertive body language. Don't apologize too much. Explain why you can't do it. Give the person some alternatives.

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Use the same voice that you would use to ask to speak to someone on the phone. Be firm, calm, and clear. If you sound emotional, confused, or upset, then the person will sense your weakness and will try to exploit you. If you sound calm, then the person will see that you're being reasonable and that it's okay for you to say "no" once in a while. If you don't raise your voice or sound upset, the person will be much more likely to accept your explanation. Stand tall and keep your arms at your sides or use gestures to emphasize your words. Make eye contact with the person as you say "no" to show that you mean business. Don't fidget or play with your hands or jewelry, or you will look insecure about your decision. Don't cower away from the person or cross your arms over your chest, or you will look like you're not happy with your decision and that you can be swayed. If you do feel sorry that you can't do the work, then you can say a simple, "I'm sorry," but the more you keep repeating that you're sorry, the less firm you will sound. The person will think that he can still convince you to do the task, and you'll only make yourself look weak and will feel worse about not doing the task. If you apologize, it will look like you're doing something wrong by not taking on the task, and that's not the case.  Don't say, "I am so, so sorry that I can't walk your dog next weekend. I feel really, really bad about it." Instead, say, "I'm sorry I don't have time to walk your dog next weekend." Giving a brief explanation can make the person understand why you can't do the thing he wants you to do. You don't have to be excessive about it, but giving just a sentence or two of explanation can help the person see that you have too much going on to complete the task. You don't have to lie or make up excuses. Just be honest. Here are some explanations for why you can't do something:  "I can't finish this project tonight because I have to wrap up this report by midnight." "I can't drive you to the dentist tomorrow because my husband...


Talk in person, if possible. Listen in an active manner. Explain what upsets you. Avoid aggressive language. Compliment the person. Let your coworker have the final word.

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We communicate a lot of information through tone, gesture, and facial expression. All of this is lost in email. Accordingly, something meant to be funny could come across as hostile in an email. If possible, try to communicate in person or over the phone. Leave email for very short communications—three sentences or less. Keep emails factual. Effective listening can reduce tension. It also will help you find commonality with a difficult colleague. To be effective, listening must be active. You cannot passively sit as someone talks. Instead, try the following:  Restate what someone has just said. This will affirm that you are listening to the person. Ask if you understand them correctly. Say, “Did I understand you right?” Sit with an “open” body style. Don't cross your arms or legs. Instead, face the person you are talking with. Understand that you aren't endorsing someone's point of view simply by recognizing it. After you have shown you understand the other person, they may be more willing to listen to you. If your coworker does something in particular that you don't like, you should tell them. Be honest. For example, someone might make jokes about you being a redhead. You should tell them this upsets you.  Don't call them out in front of other people, which might only cause them to deny what they have been doing. Instead, go to their office during a quiet time of the day. Try to stay calm as you talk. People can become defensive if they feel like they are being attacked. Get to the point. Say, “Jeff, I hate it when you make redhead jokes. Can you joke about something different?” You may be terrified to confront the person. Unfortunately, they are unlikely to stop on their own. You should avoid accusing someone of bad behavior. Instead, focus on how someone makes you feel. It's harder for someone to disagree with you when you focus on your feelings.  For example, don't say, “Jeff, you're always so hostile. Why don't you start being nicer?” Instead, you can say, “Jeff, I feel six inches tall when you talk to...


Talk in private. Begin the conversation gently. Listen to their side of things. Encourage them to be an individual. Manage any defensiveness. End on a high note.

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Pull your friend to the side and away from the earshot of others to have this talk.  You don't want to risk embarrassing them or having your business aired out to everyone. Ask them to meet you after school or call them at a time you're both free. Say “Hey Sarah, do you have a few minutes to talk after school?  I was thinking we could get ice cream.  I wanna chat about something.” Avoid jumping straight to the issue; ease into it instead.  Spend a few minutes chatting about their day or the latest news. Once you are both comfortable, you can talk to them about the copying. You can say “Lately, I've been feeling like every time I buy a shirt or pair of shoes, you go out and buy the same ones.  I've tried to ignore it but it's been bothering me and I wanted to talk to you about it.” Once you have opened up, listen to what they have to say.  Don't interrupt them, and even when you feel that they are wrong, try to see things from their perspective.  This 'copying' could be a coincidence, or perhaps the items that you have are very popular and worn by many people. They might also admit that they've been copying you.  If you tend to get more attention or are more confident, them copying you could be a way to feel cooler. If they do admit to copying you, let them know that you're not mad at them.  Talk to them about the reasons you two are friends and the things that you like about them. Encourage them to express those things rather than copying your personality or style. For instance, you might say “Kris, you have such a fun personality and I don't know why you'd want to change that to be more like me.  I want to be friends with YOU, not a copycat version of myself.” Your friend might not have taken this news well.  They might be offended that you think they are copying you.  Even if they yell or get upset, keep a completely neutral tone and demeanor so they don't get more agitated.  Base all of your feelings in facts so that you have examples to back them up.  If they say that you're crazy for thinking they would...


Talk it out. Think positively. Accept your partner for who they are. Do something new together. See a couple's therapist.

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Communication is the most important tool in your relationship. Talk about things that you are bothering by, your likes and dislikes, and discuss solutions to your problems. Be as honest as your possibly can, and dig deep to get at your feelings. As you communicate with your partner, listen and be open minded. Frame your statements in a positive way, using I statements. For example, instead of saying, “you make me sad.”, say something like, “I feel sad when you don't remember our anniversaries”. Your relationship may feel like an endless cycle of negativity; complaining about work and friends or constantly nagging each other. Break from the cycle by focusing on the good, and orientating towards what is positive in your relationship. For example, focus on the great attributes of your partner, such as their humor, or the wonderful things you have accomplished together, such as buying a home or going on great vacations.  Think positively by expressing gratitude. Say thank you to each other to remind yourself of the good qualities of your partner. Making light of certain situations will help you feel and think more positively. Be playful and embrace humor! You chose your partner, flaws and all. Accept every part of your partner, both the good and the bad. If you partner chronically runs late for events, accept it, and don't try to change them. Accept that is their decision to be late, and be on time yourself. To help you accept your partner, focus on their best attributes to outshine the negative ones. Plan an exciting date like kayaking, go on a spontaneous vacation, or go on a treasure hunt! Have fun doing new things together. This will get you back to your roots of when you first met. Everything you did together was new back then, so consciously doing new things will help you remember where the sparks came from. As you are doing new things together, pretend you are on a first date. On your first date, you tried to impress by dressing nicely and being on your best behavior. Some relationship problems are...


Talk quietly. Go where you can talk. Learn mindful communication. Try to filter what you say.

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If you have a tendency to talk to yourself in a loud tone that you find embarrassing, consider talking in a quieter tone. Whenever you find yourself self-talking aloud, lower your volume to a level that you are comfortable with and that is not disruptive to those around you. Although thinking out loud is good for your thought process, you do not want to be a nuisance. If you want to help your brain work through a task or memorize a certain bit of information, you might whisper to yourself in a soft tone or go somewhere where you can talk out loud. In some places, thinking out loud may not be appropriate. For example, if you are studying in a quiet library, speaking out loud may earn you some glares. In that case, try going somewhere, like a park, where you can think out loud.  If you need to work through something out loud, consider doing it at home or in your office. Find a space where you will not distract other people. Mindfulness is a way to be present in your current situation. Being mindful when you communicate with people is a way to be curious, kind, and compassionate. It can also help you to avoid lying, hurtful or verbally aggressive language, gossip, and divisive speech. Using mindful communication can also help to improve your relationships. It will improve your ability to listen, respond, and engage with your friends, family, coworkers, and others. Saying what you think can be difficult if you have a tendency to say rude or hurtful things. In that case, practice using your inner monologue around other people. When you are around others, say in your head what you might normally say out loud and, if it is not rude, vocalize that thought. If you are unable to filter what you say, despite your best efforts, you should visit a mental health professional.


Talk to Bijou. Answer the questions. Enter the chat room.

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After completing your gathering quest, Aile will then ask you to talk to Bijou for your second test. Head to the right side of the stage to find her. When you're ready, talk to Bijou to start. Should you fail the exam, just talk to her again for a retake. The quiz involves a simple Q&A session. Get 80% correctly to pass this part of the exam. For your reference, below are the questions as well as their answers:   Question Set A  What is the effect of the skill Dance Lesson? (Answer: Increases the effect of dancing skills) What dance uses shoes designed to make sounds as the dancer rolls her feet and taps the ground to create a rhythm? (Answer: Tap Dance) Which of the following is not a characteristic of a Dancer? (Answer: Uses Two-Handed Swords) Which town has the most Dancers? (Answer: Comodo) Of the following, who dances the most beautifully? (Answer: Bijou) What is the Dancer better at than the other job classes? (Answer: Dancing) Who is the manager of the Comodo Casino? (Answer: Moo) What item cannot be equipped by a Dancer? (Answer: Two-Handed Sword) Do you think you can say this quiz is frustrating and annoying? (Answer: No) Which of the following is not a Jazz musician? (Answer: Elder Willow)    Question Set B  What is the effect of the combined skill Mental Sensing? (Answer: Increases Experience) Which is considered bad etiquette on the dance floor after a dance? (Answer: Criticize your partner) Which is not an appropriate response when someone makes a mistake while you’re dancing together? (Answer: Point out the mistake) In which town can you change jobs to a Dancer? (Answer: Comodo) How many dungeons are directly connected to Comodo? (Answer: 3) Which of the following is not a Cute Pet monster? (Answer: Argiope) Who is the most graceful dancer? (Answer: Bijou) What is the exact name of the Kafra in Comodo? (Answer: Western Branch) What is my name? (Answer: Bijou) What is the effect of Lullaby? (Answer: Casts the Sleep Effect on the area)    Question Set C  The Dancer's dance, Lady Luck, increases...


Talk to Ida to receive the Lunch Box. After receiving the Lunch Box, head to the logging site. Give Foreman Caine the Lunch Box.

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Ida can be found across the Grandma NPC, near the Traveling Priest. Or open your map by pressing M then head to coordinate x:455, y:267. She will ask you to deliver it to her boyfriend. Look for Foreman Caine. You can look for Foreman Caine location using the Map (M key). Use the NPC drop menu then click on the boots icon to auto navigate to his location. He will thank you, and he will then give you a letter. Deliver the letter back to Ida to be rewarded with a new title Caregiver, which gives +8 Damage Bonus. You can't have two lunchbox even if you talked to Ida again and choose “Help deliver the lunch box.” Do not destroy the item, or you will have to travel back to Ida and get another Lunch Box.


Talk to Isabelle. Select "public works projects". Find a location for your project. Raise the amount needed for the project. Build as much as you can.

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When you go to Isabelle in the Town Hall and talk to her by pressing “A,” you have the option of inquiring about citizen satisfaction in your town. Isabelle will then give you guidance on how to improve. In Animal Crossing: New Horizons, talk to Tom Nook at his counter at Resident Services Center to start a public works project. There will be two options for what you can do in the mayor’s chair: public work projects and ordinances. For this, pick public work projects. Then, you will see the list of available public work projects. Choose the one you like most and you’ll be off to the next step!  Building upgrades, such as the Dream Suite, do not count towards the number of public works projects as far as the citizen satisfaction is concerned. Remember that some public work projects reduce citizen satisfaction. This can be any project that emits a large amount of unnatural light (e.g., video screen) or is industrial (e.g., drilling rig). Isabelle will tell you that you need to find a place for the project to be placed. You can then run around town, and Isabelle will follow you. Once you have a spot you like, talk to Isabelle again by pressing “A.”  If the spot is large enough and not blocked by nearby features (such as a river), then Lloid the gyroid will be placed and you can start collecting funds. If the spot does not provide ample space, you will need to keep looking. Move all items such as flowers away from the desired area beforehand. This mean they won't be destroyed from your public work project. Of course, you need to collect the funds! Every public works project has a different funding amount that is listed when you first pick from the available projects. Your citizens will chip in a small amount of bells, but it is up to you to collect the bulk.    In New Horizons, instead of funding, you will need to find the ingredients for the building project and craft it yourself. Once you have completely funded the project by donating bells to the gyroid, the project will be completed and built the next day. If...


Talk to Jesus about your anger and difficult emotions. Assure yourself that Jesus loves you. Understand the difficult things that have happened to you in a new light. Concentrate on your connection to Jesus in tough moments. Think about how Jesus would handle the situation you are in.

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You can use your prayers to Jesus to tell Him about the difficult things that are going on in your life. Praying can be helpful for coping with emotions like frustration and pain. If you can let out your anger during prayer rather than in daily life or in your relationships, then it can become an emotional support that you can use to calm you down.  When something bad happens to you, for example, you lose your job, you can pray to Jesus to help process your emotions and find relief from your stress. Give your words of frustration, anger or fear over this loss to Him. You can use the Psalms as guides in how to pray through hard times. For example, in Psalm 4 the Psalmist asks that God to give him relief for his distress. Remember that God made you in His image, and Jesus loves and His Spirit accompanies you on your journey. He wanted you to choose to repent, to seek to please God and acknowledge Him in all you do, just the way you are: Free to choose to follow His plan to be saved. When you are having a hard time loving yourself, remind yourself that Jesus came to this earth and died, in part, because of His great love for you. His grace passes all understanding. Remember John 15:11-13: These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment,  'That you love one another, as I have loved you, and greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,. In your prayers to Jesus, you have an opportunity to reconsider why things have happened to you. Perhaps when you reconsider your circumstances you will be better able to understand how God could be using something bad in your life for good.  For example, although you have lost your job, you have been able to spend a lot more time with your kids. Consider the beatitudes. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-12) says that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth”. Going to Jesus in prayer...


Talk to Klimmek. Inspect the first shrine. Make your way up the stairs. Fight or run from the Frost Troll. Continue walking up the steps. Put the offering in the chest. Find and speak with Arngeir.

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Once you have arrived in Ivarstead and approached the bridge leading to the 7,000 steps, you’ll come across two men conversing. Talk to Klimmek, and he’ll warn you of all the dangers ahead of you. You can also take the optional quest to deliver supplies to the Greybeards. It's highly-recommended that you take the quest to deliver supplies, as you don't have to go out of your way and it earns you some easy gold. There are ten shrines along the stairs leading up to High Hrothgar. The first of these shrines can be found on the other side of the bridge where you met Klimmek. Make sure to read the Etched Tablet; reading all of the tablets on the way up will unlock another Shout for you to use. See the next section for details on all of the shrine locations. Once you reach the snow, you'll likely encounter some wolves. Use the marker stones to find the trail if you lose it in the snow. You are likely to encounter the troll when you reach the granite gully. The Frost Troll is the most dangerous adversary you will face on the climb. There are several ways you can get past it.  You can try to sneak past the troll at night. You may be able to scale the sides of the gully to avoid it. You can also use ranged attacks from the cliff to do damage without worrying about a counter-attack. You can fight the Frost Troll to the death. Having Lydia with you will make the fight a little easier. Use fire attacks for maximum damage. Get the troll's attention and retreat back down the stairs. Karita will help you fight the troll. You'll know you've reached the top when you encounter the dual-staircases. This is the entrance to High Hrothgar. The journey should take about 15 minutes total, depending on the enemies you faced. If you accepted the quest from Klimmek, make sure to put the offering into the chest before entering High Hrothgar. He is the leader of the Greybeard monks, and speaking with him will advance the main story quest.


Talk to Lenphad. Kill 15 Bomber Mongs. Kill 14 Jango and 14 Kid Phoru. Speak to Luichel. Complete Wally's Castle.

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As soon as you have reached level 15, talk to Lenphad You can find Lenphad at the Equipment Shop within the Elder Village. Right after talking to Lenphad, he will give you a set of quests—mostly about killing mobs. You can find Bomber Mongs in Wally's Castle; Bomber Mongs are monsters wearing junk parts from the roof; they carry a bag full of bombs.  There are no dungeon difficulty stated, so you can kill them in any dungeon level. Hunting in a team is also allowed. These monsters can be found at the same location: Wally's Castle. Kid Phoru monsters are the ones who uses a torch to burn you while Jango uses melee attack.  This kill quest is only available in Hard or higher dungeon level, so make sure to do this with a party rather than hunting alone. Both monsters appear in every floor, even summoned at the last floor of the castle. After you have completed the quest, go back to Elder Village and speak to the Accessory Shop Owner. She will reward you for your hard work and then give you the last quest for Knighthood. Before jumping into the quest dungeon, make sure you have bought enough potions and repair all your equipment. The last part of the Knighthood quest requires you to complete Wally's Castle within 15 minutes under the Very Hard level. This quest can be done with a party or even with players with higher base level compared to the dungeon.  If you know anyone who is already level 30 or more, you can ask for their help to clear the dungeon before the given time runs out. After the completion, head back to Luichel, and she will turn you into a Knight.


Talk to a counselor. Ask a friend for assistance. Travel in groups or with a friend. Talk to parents, a coach, or a mentor.

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If you are in an altercation, reaching out to an authority figure can keep you out of trouble. Schedule an appointment with your counselor and ask them for advice. You can explain your situation using fake names if that helps you feel more comfortable about opening up. You can reveal as much or as little as you choose. Overall, your counselor will just want to make sure that you are safe. There is no shame in asking your peers for help if you are in trouble. Call a friend that you trust. A friend can also have your back if you need them during the fight. Come up with a signal word between the two of you so that your friend will know right away if you're in trouble. If you are anticipating a fight and hope to avoid it, walk around with a large group of people or with a trustworthy friend. If you outnumber the bully or if there is a large audience, he or she will feel less emboldened to threaten or intimidate you. Trusted adults can give you helpful advice on how to handle a bully or how to evade a fight. Ask an adult you trust if they have ever gotten into a fight, and ask how they would handle the situation if they were in your shoes. Coaches, parents, and other mentors can give you tips on the best ways to defend yourself and won't judge you if you admit to feeling scared. Keep your life stress-free and get help from an adult who cares about your wellbeing. Remember that it's takes strength and bravery to try to avoid a fight altogether.


Talk to a current member. Contact a local chapter. Petition for membership. Receive a majority of the chapter's vote. Begin attending your chapter's meetings.

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If you meet the qualifications described above, you may apply to join the OES. The easiest way to do this may be to talk to a friend or relative who is already a member. This person will most likely be familiar with your local chapter's entry requirements and can give you the advice necessary to make an informed decision about applying for membership. Additionally, this person can serve as an important character reference. Because members of Masonic organizations (including OES) are required to have good reputations, the word of someone who's already a member can go quite far towards improving your chances of entry. You don't necessarily have to know an OES member to apply. To start the process yourself, simply contact a chapter near you. The precise entry instructions and requirements for each chapter may vary, so contacting the nearest chapter directly is a good way to ensure that you have exactly the information you need to join.  If you're unsure which OES chapter is nearest to you, consult the official listing of Grand Chapters on the Order of the Eastern Star website. This contains links to all of the large regional OES chapters around the world, which includes several chapters outside of the US and Canada. Each of the regional chapter pages in the official OES Grand Chapter listing should contain information on subordinate local chapters near you. If you can't find this, try getting started by contacting your regional Grand Chapter directly. Like the Freemasons themselves, the Order of the Eastern Star requires applicants to complete and submit an official petition to be considered for membership. Usually, the petition is a short official form (obtained directly from the chapter) that demonstrates your eligibility and desire to become a member. Each chapter's precise petition procedure may vary, but, in general, an applicant should expect to provide at least all of the following:  Basic personal information (name, contact info, etc.) An acknowledgement of belief in a supreme being An acknowledgement...


Talk to a dermatologist. Treat acne with cortisone. Consider Botox. Receive a microdermabrasion. Get a facial.

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If you’re ever unsure whether or not a product is right for your skin type or cleansing and moisturizing needs, doctors can give you recommendations and even prescribe treatments to get your skin glowing. Dermatologists may also be able to offer in-office treatments that improve the appearance of skin or help with various skin concerns.  Ask your dermatologist for recommendations on products and treatments you can do at home. Make sure your dermatologist walks you through all steps of at-home skin care. Ask the doctor, "What specifically should I do to care for my skin every morning/evening/throughout the day?" Take notes about specific care products. Be open and honest about your budget, so the doctor can make recommendations that fit your needs and are affordable. Your dermatologist or a professional esthetician can administer injections of this medication. For most people, this almost instantly minimizes the size of pimples, and can be used regularly to clear up acne, bug bites, rashes, eczema, and other chronic skin conditions. This is no longer the face-freezing treatment it used to be. You can even ask your dermatologist about “Botox Lite.” This is the placement of small amounts of Botox across the forehead (not just at the creased areas around eyes) that gives the eyes and forehead a smoother overall appearance without the frozen look people dread. Botox treatment cost between $100 and $200, and should be touched up two or three times each year. These treatments are fast and comfortable. Great for both oily and dry skin, they use crystals to remove dead and dying skin cells, revealing healthy new skin below. This also allows other products to penetrate more deeply for improved effectiveness. You can get these treatments form a  dermatologist or esthetician, but they may cost as much as $400. You can also remove dead skin at home using cleansers with exfoliating beads and skin brushes at least once each week. These products can cost as little as five dollars. Professional facials remove dead skin,...


Talk to a doctor about the severity of your acne. Consider other forms of treatment. Discuss the risks with your doctor. Tell your doctor about any medical conditions you have before starting treatment. Commit to treatment. Participate in the iPLEDGE program if you are female. Sign an informed consent. Be prepared to follow additional safety protocols. Check with your pharmacy.

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Only a dermatologist can tell you if Accutane is right for you. Many dermatologists will not see patients without a referral from a doctor (depending on your insurance plan), so you may wish to visit your regular healthcare provider first. If your acne is persistent, but not severe, then you may want to consider a different form of treatment. Accutane is not used for mild to moderate acne because of the risk and range of its side effects.  Prescription oral antibiotics may be used to successfully treat moderate acne. Other treatment options include phototherapy (light treatment) and laser treatments. These are often successful in treating moderate acne and acne scarring. Side effects range from mild discomforts, such as dry skin, to complications that can be serious. Up to 80% of Accutane users will experience at least some side effects.  The FDA placed a warning on Accutane in 1998 informing healthcare providers and the public about an increase in the incidence of depression, suicidal thinking, and suicide attempts. Recent research shows that Accutane users have a higher risk of developing digestive disorders, including ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, and Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Many lawsuits have been filed against the original manufacturer specific to people that developed serious side effects while taking Accutane. You should tell your doctor about any medical or psychological conditions you have, as well as any medications or supplements, including vitamins, that you take. Also consult with your doctor if:  You are allergic to vitamin A-containing drugs (such as other retinoids) You have diabetes or a family history of diabetes You have high blood fats or a family history of high blood fats You or someone in your family has a psychiatric disorder (including mood disorders such as depression) You have liver disease You are overweight or obese You have an eating disorder You have a problem with alcohol abuse You have a bone loss condition (e.g., osteoporosis) If both you and your dermatologist...


Talk to a doctor. Have a complete physical. Discuss medication with your doctor. Try medication designed to treat erectile dysfunction. Ask a doctor about testosterone.

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This can be the hardest step. Professionals indicate that men are typically afraid to talk to doctors about their health problems. They shouldn't be; low libido is, according to Doron Stember, MD, "a medical condition."  While low libido or erectile dysfunction (ED) might seem like a personal issue, they are medical conditions. Both can be symptoms of serious underlying health issues and failing to disclose them could hinder the diagnosis of any illnesses you might suffer from. Remember that this condition is neither rare nor embarrassing. Twenty percent of all men have almost no interest in sex and half of all men over 40 experience some form of erectile dysfunction. When talking to your doctor indicate whether you still have desire but cannot get an erection or if you do not have any desire. If you are uncomfortable lingering on the issue, mention it casually, possibly as part of a list of ailments. You might say something like, "I haven't been as interested in having sex as I usually am." This may be enough to open the discussion with your doctor. There might be a medical problem interfering with your sex drive. Explain your symptoms or lack of interest to your doctor and see if there is a physical explanation. A variety of physical conditions can reduce sex drive, including obesity, anemia, hyperprolactinemia, diabetes, high cholesterol, head injury, or an underactive thyroid gland. Many drugs will reduce sex drive. Discuss the side effects of your proscriptions with your doctor. Antidepressants (SSRIs), tranquilizers, and blood pressure medications have all been shown to reduce libido. Erectile dysfunction is not the same thing as low sex drive; some people with ED still have a high sex drive. But if you have trouble getting an erection, it can foster anxieties that will reduce sex drive. Talk to your doctor about ED medication like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, which increase blood flow to the penis. Your doctor may need to assess if your heart is healthy enough for sex and if you are on any medication...


Talk to a doctor. Look for a family connection. Have genetic testing.

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If you think that you or a loved one might have EDS, talk about your concerns with a physician. Your regular doctor may be able to advise you but will more likely refer you to a specialist in genetic diseases. Expect a series of questions about medical and family histories, a thorough exam, and a blood test.  Set up an appointment. Before you see the doctor, think about what symptoms you have seen or experienced. The doctor may ask if your or your loved one’s joints are overly flexible, if the skin is stretchy, or if the skin heals poorly. She will also probably ask about any medications the patient is taking. Since EDS is a genetic syndrome, it gets passed down in families. This means that you or a loved one is more likely to have the mutations if a close family member had them, as well. Think carefully and be prepared to answer questions about your family history.  Did any of your or your loved one’s relatives have a diagnosed case of EDS? Or, did they have symptoms like the ones you’re seeing? Do you know of any relatives who died suddenly from a ruptured blood vessel or organ? Recall that this is one of the most serious complications of vascular EDS and may indicate an undiagnosed case. Your doctor will try to diagnose by type, finding the EDS subtype that most closely matches the patient’s symptoms. Usually a specialist can make a diagnosis on the basis of the skin, joints, and a family history. However, they can also use genetic tests to confirm EDS or the specific subtype that is present. A DNA test can pinpoint the problem and show the specific genes that are mutated.  Genetic testing can be done to confirm Vascular, kyphoscoliosis, Arthrochalasia, Dermatosparaxis, and sometimes Classical EDS. For testing, expect to be referred to a clinical geneticist or genetic counselor. You’ll then give a sample of either blood, saliva, or skin for laboratory testing. Genetic tests are not always 100% accurate. Some people recommend that they be done conservatively to confirm rather than rule out a diagnosis.


Talk to a girl before or after class to establish a connection. Join a co-ed club or intramural sport to find girls that have similar interests. Introduce yourself to girls at lunch to meet girls in a relaxed setting. Use group projects as a great way to get to know her. Meet new girls through friends for an easy introduction. Go to open mic nights and other local events to get to know a different crowd.

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If there’s an open seat next to a girl that you want to talk to, take the seat before the class starts. Start a conversation by asking her a question about the class or the major that she's in. If she seems like she wants to continue the conversation, introduce yourself, ask for her name, and continue talking to her after class is out.  Don’t try to strike up a conversation in the middle of class, as this could get you both in trouble by the professor. You can ask something like, “Are you a business major? I’m in the communications program right now. How do you like it so far?” Take a look at your college’s programs, clubs, and intramural sports. Find sports or clubs that interest you and sign up for them. Then, when the club meets, talk to girls before or after the session.  Popular college intramural sports include basketball, cycling, and fencing. Popular academic clubs include biomedical engineering, mathematics, and robotics. There are also clubs for dance, music, and the visual arts. If your campus has a dining hall, you may be able to meet girls there. Look for girls that aren’t sitting with anyone and ask them if you can sit at their table. Be relaxed and friendly when you ask. You may be able to strike up a conversation about classes or the food at the college.  You can say something like, “Wow, this pizza is so good. What do you think of it?” Girls may not be interested in chatting if they are already in a conversation or are surrounded by friends. Labs and group projects will force you to work with a plethora of people, including girls. This is a great opportunity to form friendships with new girls that are in your class.  If you worked well with a particular girl, you can talk to her later or ask her to hang out. You can say something like, "You made working in this group project way more enjoyable for me. Do you want to get something to eat this Saturday?" This is a great way to get a girl's number and will open up opportunities to text with them casually. You can meet new girls by hanging out...


Talk to a librarian. Check the internet. Ask your teacher.

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For some help finding books that might appeal to you, the children's librarian at your local library is a great resource. Go and talk to him or her about what you're looking for. Explain that you're writing a book report and ask for the librarian's help. He or she is likely to know a number of books that will fit with what you're wanting.  Make sure to tell the librarian if there is a minimum number of pages you need to read, whether it should be fiction or non-fiction, and any other stipulations set down by your teacher. Be honest with the librarian about your reading ability and speed. You don't want to get stuck with a book that's too hard and too long. If it's hard for you to get to the library, or you'd rather start by doing some research on your own, check online. There are lots of great sites that review children's and young adult's books, and you can often search them by category, age group, grade level, or genre. Here are some ideas about searching:  For a book about basketball that is fiction, you might want to search for the words "basketball," together with "novel" and "middle readers." That should give you some ideas. If you want a nonfiction book about basketball, you might try searching for a particular player's name along with "middle readers." If you're looking for a book you know your teacher will approve, you might want to check the lists of Newbery winners and nominee. The Newbery medal is the highest honor for books for middle readers, and includes an array of topics and themes.  You can also try typing "books similar to ____" into an online search engine. This can help you find recommendations for books similar to ones you have enjoyed in the past. Sometimes your teacher is your very best resource. He or she probably knows you pretty well – both the level at which you read and your interests – and can suggest a book that wouldn't be too hard that would appeal to you.


Talk to a professional about what you are going through. Discuss hormone therapy with your doctor. Take antidepressants if your depression and anxiety has gotten severe.

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In some cases, talking to friends and family, keeping emotion and thought journals, and changing your lifestyle isn't enough. In these instances, you should consider seeking the help of a professional.  A therapist will help you talk through your emotions and help you to create strategies for how to face your depression and anxiety. A marriage counselor can help you to get the support you need. Sometimes postpartum depression and anxiety can be brought on by feeling unsupported by your partner. When you give birth, your hormones get completely thrown out of whack. Sometimes hormone therapy can help to balance out your hormone levels, particularly those involving estrogen. However, there are some complications that can occur with hormone therapy so it is always wise to talk with your doctor in detail about the therapy. Estrogen hormone therapy can be used in conjunction with antidepressants. If you find that you are unable to take care of yourself or your child, it is of the utmost importance that you seek medical help. One treatment option that your doctor may suggest is for you to take antidepressant medication. Antidepressant use must be accompanied by therapy sessions to ensure that you are getting the help that you need.


Talk to a professional if you have a history of abuse. Stay away from drugs Find accountability. Start fresh.

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Confront the skeletons in your closet. Many people act out sexually after abuse from their past. You may be surprised to find out how many of your behaviors are typical. You could learn steps to avoid filling emotional voids with sex.  Recognize if you have signs of emotional abuse like depression, anxiety, isolated behavior, low self-esteem, or addiction to drugs or alcohol.  Find escape from your physical abuser by calling 911 if it is an emergency. Find legal help or consider getting a restraining order if necessary. and alcohol. These substances can alter areas in your brain that are critical to judgement, decision-making, and behavior control. Alcohol and drug abuse can result in a deterioration in health, interpersonal relationships, and job satisfaction. Rely on your close, non-judgmental friends. Ask your parents to be involved with your new self. Join a group at a school or church with like-minded people. Find people who want the best for you and will remain committed to you. Move to another school, job, or town. Try getting away from where you were, and find someplace where you can become who you want to be. People will begin to accept you for who you were meant to be. Take a long trip, or travel abroad for a year or two. A time away may be the fresh start you need to mature and reflect.


Talk to a psychologist about trying exposure therapy. Practice exposure therapy. Ask your loved one to help you practice exposure therapy.

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Exposure therapy is when a person is exposed to the thing they fear the most, but within a safe and supportive setting. In the case of ASAD, you would have to face your fears of separation. To do this, you would very gradually expose yourself to the anxiety provoking situation—such as being away from your home or loved ones—for short periods of time. A psychologist or trained therapist can develop a specific exposure therapy program that can help you overcome your anxiety. If your doctor or therapist decides that exposure therapy is a good idea for you, and you are ready to try it, there are several techniques you can use. For instance, you might start just by thinking about being separated from your home or loved ones, and describe how you feel. Later, you might practice being separated from your loved ones or being away from home for periods of time that increase in length, and then discuss how you felt. Even short-term exposure therapy treatments (three to six sessions) can help ease your anxiety. If your therapist approves, asking your loved one to help you can make the therapy process easier. To begin, have your loved one go into a different room while you practice calming techniques, such as breathing exercises, or work on banishing anxious thoughts. Gradually increase the distance and time that you spend away from your loved one.


Talk to a school administrator about creating a shooting plan of action. Talk about having more than a lockdown plan. Ask about inviting speakers or police officers to talk to students. Suggest holding active shooter drills to show everyone what to do.

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Ask a teacher or administrator if your school has a plan in place for an active shooter situation. If it doesn’t, ask what you can do to help create one.  This could involve researching plans on the Internet or getting in touch with law enforcement to construct a new plan. If your administration seems disinterested, don’t give up. Remind them that school shootings can happen everywhere, and that your school is no different. If your school relies on a lockdown plan—teachers locking their doors and keeping students inside until the all-clear has been called—ask about supplementing this with other plans. You could suggest a safe, quiet evacuation plan, or even school-wide courses on basic self-defense. Look online to find programs that provide alternate school shooting training to faculty and students. Show your research to your school’s administration to offer other options. Police officers and public safety departments often do presentations on the best way to respond to emergency situations. Ask your administration about inviting them to speak to your school or faculty about revamping school shooting procedures. Many schools now hold active shooter drills that, like fire or tornado drills, teach students and faculty what to do in an emergency situation. Ask your counselors or principal about holding lockdown or evacuation drills every few months. Although your school administration might not like taking away from class time, they know that it’s important to be prepared for this unlikely but dangerous situation.


Talk to a stranger. Join a small group or club. Showcase your skills. Suggest a solution for a problem.

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Strike up a conversation with someone you wouldn’t normally talk to. If you’re typically shy, taking this big step can not only give you confidence, but could help you gain a new friend. A perfect situation for this opportunity is when you’re standing in line, sitting in the waiting room, or taking a ride on a train or bus.  Before you speak, realize that they are just another person, just like you. They are no better than you are and would probably like to speak with you. Stick to neutral topics like the weather, or whatever is going on around you. For instance, while you’re waiting for your cup of Joe, you could say, “Wow, this line is really long. People must really need their coffee today.”  If you find yourself in a longer conversation with a stranger and you're not sure what to say, just start asking the person general questions about themselves. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, as long as it's not too personal. Ask about their career, hobbies, if they're from the area, and so on. You might say something like, "Do you work near here?" If you want to make friends or learn how to become more comfortable socializing, consider joining a group or club of only a few people. Choose something that interests you, like books or sports, and look for a group that is based on this subject.  Talking about something you know and like can give you the confidence you need to put yourself out there and find others who enjoy the same things you do. To avoid putting yourself in a situation you don’t like, tailor your group experience to fit your needs. For instance, bring a friend, get there right as the meeting starts if you want to avoid small talk, and hang out together afterwards. Introverts are usually some pretty talented people. If you want to work on putting yourself out there, put some of your skills on display. The positive reaction you’re likely to receive can offer you encouragement that may make you feel more comfortable with showing others just how valuable you are. For instance, you could join a...


Talk to a teacher or a supervisor. Reach out to a counselor or therapist. Confide in a parent, partner, mentor, or someone close to you.

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If you feel you are being bullied, it is important that you not keep the bullying a secret or hide it from people who can help you. You may be afraid to come forward and report the bully due to fear of backlash from the bully or rejection from your peers. Or you may feel socially isolated from everyone around you and feel no one cares about your well being. But reporting the bully will be the first step to getting the bully to stop hurting you and can help you to recover from the trauma caused by the bullying.  If there is a teacher at your school you feel close to and trust, reach out to them and talk to her about the bullying. You may want to wait until after class or before class so there is no one else in the room and you can confide in her one on one. If there is a supervisor that you feel you have a good relationship with, talk to her about the workplace bullying you have been experiencing at work. Set up a meeting one on one so you have some privacy and can confide in her in a comfortable environment. Your school counselor is trained to address bullying and can often provide professional advice on how to deal with your bully. As well, if you go to a therapist regularly, you may want to talk to her about the bully and discuss ways in which you can address the bullying and make it stop. If you are not comfortable with talking to your school counselor, you can also talk to someone via a teen health hotline, found here: http://www.teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines. The hotline is run by individuals trained to help people in need and can often offer a sympathetic ear to discuss your issues. Parents are often unaware that their child is being bullied and are only aware of the signs of bullying once their child brings it to their attention. Reach out to a parent or a sibling you feel you can talk to. Together, you can both work to find a solution for the bullying and make sure it stops before it gets any worse.


Talk to a teacher or professor about your work. Get help from a tutor or counselor. See the positive in your academic performance. Make a list of your academic strengths and focus on them. Make a list of your academic achievements. Make a list of your goals and take steps to achieve them. Think and be positive about yourself. Surround yourself with others who have academic confidence in you and themselves. Consider seeing a therapist or counselor. Keep trying and move forward.

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Teachers and professors often have insights on your work or academic performance that you can’t objectively assess. By talking to your teacher or professor about your work, you may be able to take much more proactive steps to building your confidence. Prepare yourself before your meeting. Having a list of points you want to discuss will help focus the conversation. You can discuss items such as strengths and weaknesses, how you can improve your work, or how to deal with larger issues such as career planning. If you need help with work or have questions about your future, hire a tutor or talk to a counselor. Both can have a significant impact on your work and focusing on your goals.  A tutor can help you develop your academic skills further and build confidence with positive feedback. A guidance or career counselor can help you formulate a plan to develop your skills or meet long term goals such as getting into college or becoming a professional editor. Negative thoughts and attitudes are draining and if you give in to them, they will undermine any confidence you have. Seeking out the positive in any academic situation will help shift your mindset and build confidence in your work and skills.  Any academic failure or criticism has some redeeming aspect. It might take some time to recognize, but being able to see the positive aspects in a bad grade or criticism will help you move on and focus on your strengths. Remember that negative feedback or bad grades do not define you as a person. They do not even define the overall quality of your work; they represent only a small part it.  Most people who assess your work will try to find positive and negative aspects. Use these comments to balance out each other. Maintaining a positive attitude will contribute significantly to building your confidence. Listing all of your academic strengths and focusing on them will help you counteract any negative thoughts that may arise about your work or skills. In turn, this will help build your confidence.  In situations where you...


Talk to a therapist if necessary. Be patient. Learn about your fears.

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Everyone experiences fear from time to time. It's a normal part of life. However, if you suffer from intense or constant fear and anxiety that affects your day to day life, you may have an underlying anxiety disorder. You should make an appointment for a therapist for evaluation. You can call your insurance providers for a list of therapists in your network. You can also ask your regular doctor for a referral. If you're a college student, you may be entitled to free counseling from your college or university. Visualization is a skill. Like all skills, it takes practice. The first time you try overcoming your fears using visualization, you may not feel it was tremendously successful. However, keep trying and eventually things will improve.  Practice visualizing regularly. Even when you are not stressed, try engaging with your senses to imagine a calming scenario.  Visualization is one of many relaxation techniques. It may not work for everyone. If visualization does not work for you, even after practice, move on to another technique. You can try meditation, yoga, deep breathing, or many other relaxation techniques. Oftentimes, your greatest fears are irrational. Learning about your fears, and their relative unlikely nature, can sometimes quell anxiety. If you're scared of flying, for example, you may find it helpful to know the chance of being in a fatal plane crash is 1 in 7 million. Some fears, however, may be made worse by research. Medical fears, for example, can worsen anxiety if you google symptoms or diseases. If you find your anxiety increases when you learn about your fears, stop looking up information and do something else.


Talk to a therapist. Learn coping techniques. Arrive at work early. Record and evaluate your thoughts. Relabel your anxiety as excitement. Practice deep breathing. Turn your focus outwards. Accept discomfort.

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Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be highly effective in reducing social anxiety. A therapist can help you recognize your fears, teach you relaxation tips to cope with them, and help you overcome them by confronting them 1 stage at time. For severe cases, an antidepressant may be prescribed to help lower anxiety levels so that the therapy will be more effective. If you have social anxiety, get in touch with a therapist as soon as possible. Everyone feels anxiety. It is the body's natural response to stress or danger. Some people — whether because of genetics or environment — have an overly developed response. Fortunately, there are proven strategies you can use to help control your anxiety. Getting to work early will allow you to settle in and prepare yourself for the day. You are also much more likely to meet people one on one as they filter in this way, as opposed to entering an office with everyone already present. Social anxiety is driven by exaggerated fears: Everyone is staring at me… This is going to be a disaster… I'll sound like an idiot. Writing down such thoughts will help you identify and combat such exaggerations. Replace them with realistic expectations. For example, if you're about to give a presentation, you might be worried that it will go terribly, you will look overly anxious, no one will listen to you, etc. Replace these thoughts with more realistic expectations: I have prepared well and have a convincing presentation; if things don't go well, it's not the end of the world. The symptoms of anxiety — increased heart rate and breathing, elevated alertness, a tendency to sweat — are more or less identical to those of excitement. It might sound trivial, but how you think of what you are feeling matters. Instead of thinking you are anxious, relabel it as being excited. This will help produce confidence instead of fear. Breathing deeply and regularly triggers a calming response that decreases heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension. Practice these breathing techniques at home...


Talk to a trusted friend. Reach out to those in authority. Obtain the author's location. Block the sender.

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If you got a letter that has bothered you, share it with someone you trust. This person can help give you insight on the contents. If the letter contains hateful criticism and words directed to you, they can help you objectively evaluate if there is any validity in the criticisms. If the anonymous letter accuses someone of something, they might be able to help you determine if it is serious enough to pursue. If the letter suggests some action be taken, they can help you evaluate that, too. If you receive anonymous letters that are a cause of concern, or you repeatedly receive anonymous hate, you may want to ask for help from an authority figure. Contact your local police department if you feel threatened by the letters.  If you involve the police, you will need to keep the letters as evidence. Some states may have laws against anonymous threatening that could help you. If you experience anonymous threats at work, go to your immediate boss or supervisor. They can help you figure out what course of action to take. If you are a youth who is receiving anonymous cyberbullying, talk to your parents, teachers, police officers, or other trusted adults. Schools can help with cyberbullying, and if that doesn't work, try contacting one of the cyberbullying help websites, like End Cyberbullying, Cyberbully Help, or Stop Bullying. Sometimes, both physical and electronic letters provide clues to the author's location. If the letter was sent through the mail, check to see if there is a postmark with a city or zip code on it. If the letter was sent electronically, attempt to locate the e-mail's IP address. If the letter was dropped in your mailbox, the person may live in your neighborhood. To view this information in an email, turn on the advanced header. This can be found by opening the e-mail, then clicking on the feature to show more from the e-mail. Look for an option to "show original," "view full header," or "view message source." From there, type the IP address location into Google and use the multiple services shown...


Talk to a vet about giving your dog aspirin to treat intermittent pain. Consider giving your dog paracetamol (aka acetaminophen). Give your dog prescription NSAIDs. Talk to a vet about giving your dog opioids.

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If your dog limps after a long hike or a hard run, but generally doesn’t show signs of pain on a day-to-day basis, you may consider giving your dog aspirin, rather than prescription medication, on the days when he is in pain. Aspirin helps to relieve pain and inflammation. You should not give your dog aspirin every day, only on relatively rare occasions.  Give an otherwise healthy, hydrated dog 10mg per every kilogram of weight, twice a day, with or after food. For example, a typical dose for a 30kg Labrador would be one 300 mg tablet twice a day with food. Always give aspirin with or after food because taking aspirin with an empty stomach on a regular basis can lead to gastrointestinal problems like ulcers. Never give aspirin to a dog who is taking steroid medication or other NSAID medications. This over-the-counter medication gives mild to moderate pain relief. It is a part of the NSAID (non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drugs) family and will also keep your dog’s joints from becoming inflamed. You can give your dog:  10 mg per kg of weight, by mouth, twice a day, with or after food. For example, most acetaminophen comes in 500 mg tablets, so a 30 kg Labrador could take three-fifths of a tablet twice a day, with food. The side effects are similar to aspirin. Always make sure that your dog has eaten and is hydrated before giving him this medication, because acetaminophen can cause liver damage and ulcers. Never go over the recommended dose. As stated above, NSAIDs are non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. If your dog is in moderate to severe pain and needs relief every day, you should go to a veterinarian to get a prescription for strong NSAIDs or opioids (see Step 4) because these medications are safe for long term use. Prescription NSAIDs fight pain and inflammation but have less negative effects on the stomach, liver and kidneys than over-the-counter NSAIDs do.  The most commonly prescribed NSAIDs are meloxicam (Metacam), carprofen (Rimadyl), and robenacoxib (Onsior). The maintenance dose of metacam is...


Talk to a veterinarian about worming your ducks. Inspect your ducks' feet for injuries or ulcers. Watch for wing injuries.

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Ducks tend to be healthy pets and have relatively few medical problems. However, ducks may contract various forms of internal (intestinal) and external worms. On average, domestic ducks need to go through a de-worming procedure once every 6 months. Speak with your veterinarian, and ask if they recommend a specific product that you can use at home. Regular swimming can help keep ducks healthy by allowing them to wash mites and other parasites out of their feathers. If your ducks do not have access to adequate water, they will be more likely to contract mites or worms. Ducks' feet are sensitive and tender, and can be damaged from walking on rough surfaces. Look at your ducks' feet every couple of weeks—if you notice any “ulcers” (which cause sores, swelling, or limping), take your duck to the veterinarian. To help protect your ducks' feet, cover the floor of their shed with a generous layer of straw or rice hulls. Avoid letting your ducks walk on bare concrete or cement. Ducks tend to be clumsy animals, and can easily damage their wings by running or flying into an immovable object in their environment. Regularly look for any ducks that seem to be favoring one wing, or that have a wing sticking away from their body at an odd angle. If you find that a duck has injured or broken a wing, take the animal to the vet immediately. Juvenile ducklings can easily damage their wings while learning to fly, since juveniles are unsteady and inexperienced flyers.


Talk to a wildlife rescue, if possible. Place your cage outdoors. Lessen contact. Release the squirrel at least five miles from where he was found. Choose a safe location.

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Re-releasing an injured animal into the wild requires a certain level of expertise. If there is a wildlife rescue in your area, it's best to contact the rescue before attempting to rehabilitate a squirrel by yourself. Even simply talking to a worker on the phone can be invaluable as you'll be provided with important information on safely releasing your squirrel. If you want to eventually release a wild squirrel, you need to make sure you do not domesticate him too much. If your squirrel is injured, you should keep his cage inside your home or garage until he's strong again. However, once he seems to be recovering steadily you should place the cage outside. This way, he won't get too used to human contact. When he's fully healed, you can develop a plan to release him.  Place a tarp over his cage. This will provide him protection from the rain as well as shade from the sun.  You might want to transfer him to a cage with a feeding door if you're not already using one. You do not want to release your squirrel prematurely. He may escape during feeding without the proper door.  Keep the cage in a place that's easily reachable for you. However, keep it far away from other humans. If your squirrel gets too used to human contact, it may be difficult to release him back into the wild. You should still provide your squirrel with food. However, lessen your contact with him as time goes on. Spend less time interacting with the squirrel on a day-to-day basis. If you have friends or neighbors nearby, advise them to leave the squirrel alone. If you've been caring for a squirrel, he may return to your home after being released. Squirrels can be pests, especially if they're trying to get into your home. When you decide to release your squirrel, pick a location that is at least 5 miles from the sight where you originally found him. More distance is generally better. If 10 miles is possible, release him 10 miles away. The location where you release your squirrel is important. You should take a few things into consideration...


Talk to administrators. Ask parents to get involved. Use social media to gather support. Let people contribute in their own way. Ensure that improvements continue.

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If you think that your school needs improvement, you can start by talking to its administrators (a principal or headmaster, for example). You might also attend local school board meetings to voice your opinion. Getting administrative support is important not only because many projects will need official approval, but also because it is a way of communicating your concerns. Don’t be shy about asking to meet with your school administrators. If you are serious about improving your school and have some ideas, most will be happy to hear from you. Schools aren’t just places for students to learn—they are also an important cornerstone of any community. Families also care about schools and will want to be involved with any improvements that need to be made. Parents can get together at a Parent-Teacher Organization (PTO) meeting, school board meeting, booster club event, or other opportunity and consider ways of helping to improve your school. While some people may not think that social media have educational value, social networks can be a powerful tool for organizing people. Make sure that your school is active on all major social media services. If it isn’t, talk to your school administrators about getting started. Anytime your school has an improvement campaign or project going on, advertise it widely using these services to boost involvement. Many school improvements will need a lot of support. However, this doesn’t mean that everyone has to contribute in the same way. When raising support to improve your school, make sure that people understand there is room for everyone to help. For example:  Some might be great at organizing people, while others will have talents in writing or design. Some will be able to devote time during school hours only, while others will have more time after school hours or on weekends. Some might be able to get involved on the school grounds itself, while others might be great at gathering support for your school within the surrounding community (by fundraising, for example). Efforts to...


Talk to an employment attorney before you file a formal complaint. Check your company's employee handbook. Talk to someone in human resources. Identify documents that support your claim. Discuss the situation with a supervisor you trust. File a written complaint. Cooperate with the investigation. Consult your attorney if you run into any problems.

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Look for an attorney who specializes in cases of workplace bullying or workplace harassment. Most of these attorneys give a free initial consultation, so you can get advice on how to proceed before you go forward with reporting the behavior. You may have no intention of filing a lawsuit. However, an attorney can help you understand the types of information you need to provide to your employer, and how you need to word your complaint. If your company has an employee handbook, it likely includes information about the company's policy regarding workplace harassment. Read the policy carefully and follow the procedures found there.  Pay close attention to the wording used in your company's handbook describing prohibited conduct. It can be helpful if you repeat the same wording when you make your formal complaint. If there is a specific person listed that you are supposed to file complaints with, you should plan on talking to that person unless you feel uncomfortable with them or think there's some reason they wouldn't be fair regarding your complaint. If your employer is large enough to have a human resources department, you'll typically begin the process of reporting workplace bullying or harassment there. Human resources staff will be able to explain and walk you through the process of filing a complaint. They also may be able to make changes that would ease the situation in the meantime. For example, they may be able to alter your schedule or temporarily transfer you to a different department so that you have fewer encounters with the person who is bullying or harassing you. If you believe your employer has documents that could prove the workplace bullying is taking place, or that it is having an adverse effect on your employment, let them know specifically what those documents are. Don't attempt to retrieve them yourself if you're not normally allowed access to them.  For example, if your workplace has security cameras, some of the incidents may have been captured on tape. Records from computers and copy...


Talk to everyone at the party. Give compliments. Use the Platinum Rule. Have a list of questions to ask if the conversation lags. Ask people about themselves. Make eye contact. Speak slowly and smile. Flirt.

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Don't just talk to your friends or the people you know at the party. Introduce yourself to new people, and make yourself open to strangers and new conversations. Try to find something in common with each person you meet. When you're chatting people up, remember to try and make them feel comfortable. People are drawn to others who make them feel at ease by showing a nonjudgmental air and overall acceptance. If someone tells a joke that falls flat, acknowledge it with a little chuckle. People love to hear good things about themselves. It could also start an interesting conversation if you ask a question that stems from the compliment.  For example, you could ask, “I really like your headband. Where did you get it?” You could also try, “The host's dog loves you! Do you have one at home?” You might be familiar with the Golden Rule, which is to treat others the way you want to be treated. The Platinum Rule, however, is to treat others the way that they want to be treated. In other words, be receptive to people when you have conversations with them.  For example, if the person can't hear what you're saying, ask her if she wants to go stand outside for a few minutes, where it's quieter. Or, if you are talking to someone who can't stop talking about her daughters, keep asking questions about her daughters. Don't feel like you need to shift the conversation to a different topic every few minutes. Or, if you are talking to someone who seems shy and reticent to talk about herself, talk about yourself more. Connecting with someone on an interpersonal level has a different path depending on the particular person involved. Sometimes you don't connect with a particular person, and that's okay. But if you want to keep the conversation going with someone, it can be helpful to have a list of backup questions for when the awkward silence happens. Here are some sample questions:  How do you know the host? What do you think of the food? Have you tried any of the drinks here? What do you do for a living? What did you do last...


Talk to family and friends about your condition. Join a support group. Do not lose hope.

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While it may be very hard to do, it is important that you tell your family members and close friends about your diagnosis. Having a support network of people that you love can provide you with the moral support and strength you will need to fight your illness. Sharing your thoughts, fears, and feelings is an important part of accepting your condition and facing it head-on. There are many support groups for cancer patients. These groups can help you to deal with your diagnosis and help you find ways to handle the situation. You may also find that it is helpful to talk with other people who are going through the same things as you. You can find support groups online. Your doctor may also be able to recommend support groups in your area that you can consider going to. Keeping a positive attitude is an important part of dealing with your diagnosis. While it is completely natural to feel sad, angry, or lost when faced with this news, keeping your hope alive and spending time with loved ones is an important part of gaining the strength to fight your illness.


Talk to friends and family members. Ask your new neighbors. See if your office has any spare boxes. Check the garbage room in your apartment complex.

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Most people notice when someone new moves into their neighborhood. They might be able to collect recently used moving boxes for you. If you noticed someone moving into the house across from yours, or the apartment downstairs, help them get rid of used moving boxes by knocking on their door. You can wait for a day or two for them to unpack, but letting them know beforehand might help you catch the boxes before they’re thrown away. Companies often receive many deliveries every day, most of which come in boxes. Talk to your co-workers, and look around your office to see if there are any free boxes. You can also talk to people who deal with supply orders, and ask if they can reserve a few boxes for you at the next delivery. People often leave unwanted boxes in garbage rooms or around trash containers. Make sure you take a tour around the garbage area near your house or apartment, and grab any free boxes you might find.


Talk to her about her relationship. Ask her how serious the relationship is. Ask her how happy she is. Use indirect clues. Ask her friends if she’s in a relationship. Check her social media profiles.

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If you are brave, ask her directly. She may suspect your motives if you ask her directly, so don’t choose this option if you want to keep your intentions a secret. Ask her casually: “Hey, I was wondering, do you have a partner? I was just curious.” If you’ve already felt comfortable enough to ask her if she’s dating, go ahead and ask her how serious the relationship is. If it’s serious, it might be harder to ask her out, but if it’s just a fling, she may still be interested in seeing you. Ask: “Is it a really serious relationship, or more casual?” Once again, she may know immediately where the conversation is going if you ask her specifically, so be careful. Be direct, but careful. Say: “How is your relationship with your partner? Are you happy?” Be very cautious talking to her about this: she may become defensive or be offended that you’re asking about her private life. Her reaction will depend entirely on her personality, so gauge her answers from previous questions to see if she’ll respond well to really personal questions like this. If she seems uncomfortable being questioned, ask her friends or find some other way. Asking directly may be a little dangerous, because she may be offended if you ask her about her relationship. Personal questions may make her uncomfortable, and she may know exactly where you're going with your line of questions.  Ask indirect questions. By asking her “What are you up to tonight?” Or “What do you like to do for fun?”, she may mention her partner offhand and save you the trouble of having to ask directly. Look for signs of flirting. While some girls are naturally flirty whether they're single or not, but if she seems into you, chances are higher that she's single. See how much you can flirt back. If she responds positively, she's probably single. See what she shops for. If you're lucky enough to meet a girl in a store instead of at school or work, you may be able to get some clues from her shopping. Look for family size food items, items obviously for men, or baby products. Her...


Talk to her friends and family. Don’t try to read her mind. Listen to what she is saying. Observe nonverbal cues. Be respectful of culture and/or religion.

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Help her change her opinion about you by learning more about her. Respectfully approach her friends and family and tell them that you’d like to learn more about her. Be open and honest with your intentions and they will better understand how to help you. Do not present yourself as someone who you are not. This will certainly make things worse if she finds out that you have manipulated those close to her to get your way. Be direct when stating your case. Don’t assume that she thinks one way about you. Always respectfully ask and thank her for letting you know her opinion. Open communication is the easiest way to get her to change her opinion about you. Are you listening to respond or are you truly hearing what she is saying? Actively listen to her and ask questions to make sure that you understand what you’ve heard. Don’t be distracted by outside factors. Look for a quiet place or ask to schedule a meeting to ensure that both of you are mentally and emotionally present. Be present when you are communicating with her. Do not get distracted by your surroundings. More importantly, take in her facial expressions and how her body responds throughout your communication. Take in the entirety of her message to ensure you are clearly it. She may have formed an opinion about you based on her values. Religion and culture may play into her decision making so be respectful of this process. If you do not understand her value system, communicate openly and honestly so you don’t offend her with any ignorant retorts.


Talk to her. Bond with her on a deeper level. Learn to read body language. Make physical contact.

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Your goal is to become friends, so you’ll want to find things to laugh about together and discover things that you have in common. Read up on some funny jokes or make up your own and tell her. Laughing is a good way to break the anxiety and awkwardness of first dates.  Start with small talk about the weather or a teacher you have in common. Compliment her on her hair, clothes or smile. Get to know her personal preferences by discussing movie scenes or songs to get an idea of what kind of things she likes and how she feels about romantic encounters.   Keep your face tilted up when you talk to her as this makes you seem more masculine and attractive. You want her to feel comfortable and connected to you—more so than her other guy friends. Sharing emotional and personal information can really create a very strong and lasting connection. Women often use kissing to bond and reinforce that bond.  Some questions or prompts to ask in order to enhance bonding are: Describe a perfect day. What do you feel most grateful for in your life? What is the greatest thing that you have accomplishment in your life? What memory do you treasure the most? What is your worst memory? If your house caught on fire and you only had time to save one item (family and pets are already safe), what would it be?   Show her that you like her by smiling and looking into her eyes.  Let her know how you feel. She may not know that you want to be more than friends, so the best thing you can do to avoid being stuck in the “friend zone” is to tell her you want more. You’ll want to pay special attention to how she reacts to you to decide if/when you should go for the kiss. Positive body language tells you that she likes what you are doing, while negative body language tells you that she dislikes it. Look for combinations of either positive or negative behaviors that let you know how she feels.  Positive body language can be shown when she moves towards you, points her feet toward you, uncrosses her legs, keeps her arms open and palms up, playfully...


Talk to him about the Bible and your faith at church. Hang out with him whenever you are at church events. Invite him to join you at a get together or group date.

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Since you are already at church, use that as a topic of conversation. Start simple by asking what he has read in the Bible. Tell him about some parts you know well. Ask him about what his church experience has been like so far.  If the boy is serious about church and his faith, he’ll find it attractive that you read the Bible and take it seriously, too. If both of you have been in church for a long time, or even a short time, use that as a point of conversation. You’ll each be able to tell your story about going to church. Find him before the sermon or Sunday school class starts, and sit by him. Whenever there are weekend parties, Bible studies, or trips, seek him out and spend time with him. Make the most of the fact that you are already part of a group with him.  Ask him if is attending upcoming events where you could hang out more. Say, “We have that water balloon fight this Friday. Are you going to it?” Follow up by talking to him there. If you see a seat open by him, go up and say, “Do you mind if I sit here? I need someone to help me pay closer attention.” It’s important to find a place to interact with him outside of church, but a one-on-one date may not be the best place to start. Get a group of friends together for a bonfire or game night and invite the boy you like to join you.  He will see you interact with other people, which is important. This also takes the pressure off of both of you because there are other people for you to hang out with. Tell him to bring one or two of his friends, and invite a couple of your friends, too. This way you will both have some people you know, and you’ll meet each other’s friends. Say, “Jimi, a few of us are going to J. Gumbo’s to grab some lunch after church. Do you want to bring a couple of friends and join us?”


Talk to his friends. Initiate contact. Be the person he fell in love with. Show him you've changed. Have an open discussion. Commit to having a better relationship.

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If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you. This is not fool-proof by any means. He might still want to get back together with you even if he hasn't expressed that to his friends. When you're ready to start spending time with your ex-boyfriend again, casually ask if he'd like to do something as friends, like having a drink, attending a sporting event, playing a game you both like, seeing a movie, or hanging out at the mall. Act like a friend, not a girlfriend.  Don't use this as an opportunity to start begging him to take you back. Instead, try to have a good time with him and make sure he has a great time with you. Don't talk about your relationship the first time you see him unless he brings it up first. Otherwise, wait until you've spent time together a few times and have had the chance to make a good impression on him as a friend. While spending time with your ex as friends, give him reasons to remember all of the things he loves about you. Accentuate the traits you know he loves, like your sense of humor or your empathy.  Always be positive and happy when you're around him. You can drop subtle hints along the way that you're still interested in him. For example, you could say, "It's great to hang out with you. I really missed spending time with you." Even if you don't bring up your past relationship directly, you can remind him of the good times you shared together in subtle ways. If he complimented a particular outfit, wear it again. You could also share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it in a familiar place where you used to enjoy good times together. Take advantage of your time together as friends to show him how you've been working on improving yourself. For example, if it used to...


Talk to more experienced surfers or instructors if you can. Learn basic surfing etiquette before you head out.

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The best way to practice and prepare for hitting the beach is with another person nearby who knows more about surfing than you do, and can provide feedback and advice.  If you have a friend who surfs, ask for help. Friends don't usually charge and you can practice privacy of your own home rather than on the beach in front of others. Pay an instructor. This is the most reliable way to learn the basics of surfing in a clear, methodical way. For a fee, he or she will teach you all you need to know and give you pointers that will help you get out into the surf and having fun quickly. Knowing the basic rules of the surf will help you make sure that your first time out is fun and safe. Here are a few basic safety rules to keep in mind:  Respect the right of way. When there is more than one surfer paddling to catch a wave, the person who has paddled closest to the peak has the right of way for that wave. Don't "drop in" on others. Paddling to catch or dropping into a wave while someone is already riding closer to the peak is considered rude and potentially dangerous. Remember to scan the line of the wave for other surfers before you try to catch it. Very popular and busy beginner surfing locations don't usually have these strict rules and multiple people will often ride the same wave (sometimes referred to as a "party wave"). If two people are waiting on the same wave, whichever person catches it first and is closer to the peak has the right of way.


Talk to nuns. Do research on the Internet. Attend a religious weekend at a Mother House or local religious community. Contact a specific community. Work with a vocation director.

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The more mentors you can get a hold of, the better. You'll gain a clearer understanding of what it's like to be a nun and the different communities and lifestyles you could soon be a part of. If you don't have access to a group, go to your parish and seek out information from your priest or those active in your church community. There are three general types of religious communities to choose from: contemplative communities and traditional and non-traditional apostolic communities.  Contemplative communities focus on prayer. Their lifestyles are more serene, meditative, and insular than their apostolic counterparts. Traditional apostolic communities work in education and healthcare. Many nuns can be found teaching in area schools or helping at hospitals and other healthcare facilities. Non-traditional communities also do service for others, but can be found working with the homeless, incarcerated, or those with HIV/AIDS. The last place you thought would be on the edge of technology would be convents, but even they're stepping it up! Some even have songs to download and blogs to read!  Vision Vocation Network is a Chicago-based network that is leading the "virtual discernment" phenomenon. Their counterpart is Vision, the magazine.  Vision Vocation Match helps those in discernment find communities that are right for them. Think of it as online dating, but for to-be-sisters and brothers looking for the right "home."  Catholics on Call is also based out of Chicago and holds retreats and workshops to meet and network with other prospective candidates and seasoned experts on the sisterly scene.  Out of New York City is the Sisters of Life. The vocation director will respond directly to your email if you're curious about what you see on their site. Hundreds do it each year.  A Nun's Life is a blog that is aimed at women in the thinking stages of becoming a nun. It does a good job of spelling out the process, requirements, and details of, well, a nun's life. Once you've started networking in person and online, you'll...