The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-09-23 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

SPONGING . —Getting your advertising done and then re-
fusing to pay—and borrowing a neighbour's newspaper.
A WATER Don.—" Does your dog take the water ?" said
a gentleman to a rustic, who had a water-spaniel following
him. "Why, yes, sir, if they put meal in't," was the reply.

Agricultural Meetings and cattle shews are now taking
place in the south, daily, and increasing interest is shewn in
their welfare.

" I resolve," says Bishop Beverage, " never to speak of
a man's virtues before his face, nor of his faults behind his
back—a rule, the observance of which would, at one stroke,
banish from society both flattery and defamation."

If you wish to get genuine port wine, you must go yourself
to Oporto, make your own wine, and then ride astraddle on
the barrel all the way home.

The following gallant toast was lately giver, at a dinner to
General Dudley, in North Carolina :—" The ladies—our
arms their protection—their arms our reward."
NEW Civic HONOURS.—A countrywoman asking the ser-
vant of one of the magistrates how he was bearing his new
honours, was informed that since '• the Bailie had gotten a
sword, the house wou'dna haud him !"

DIRECTIONS FOR SPRING LAWYERS.—Prune luxuriant
actions, and nail up backward clients in a good situation for
sprouting.—Make up hot beds by raking up old slander and
all sorts of manure that are available.

MARCH OF INTELLECT.—The subjoined note was sent by
a worthy yeoman of Devonshire to a schoolmaster, excusing
the absence of his son :—Mr. C., Plis 2 hex skoos Wm.
Yonge vur i gip im whom.—T. Yong."—Western Luminary.
SCRUPLES.—" Joe, how many scruples is there in a
drachm ?" " Don't know zur." " Well, remember, there's
eight." " Eight ! pooh ! dad always takes his without no
scruples !"

A sub-editor announces that the editor of the paper is
unwell, and piously adds,. •1 All good paying subscribers are
requested to make mention of him in their prayers—the other
class need not do it, as the prayers of the wicked availeth
nothing—according to good authority."—American paper.
In the event of the death of a young Chinese woman under
19 years of age, says Mr. Davis, a paper effigy is made by
the parents, and the intended husband receives the effigy home
to his house, with the bridal rites, he then burns the effigy,
and erects a tablet to her memory.
ROYAL WlT.—When one of the Lords in Waiting pre-
sented the Queen with a biscuit, his lordship was pitched by
a sudden lurch on to that end which is technically called his
beam —. Her Majesty, on observing this, requested that
further ceremony might be dispensed with, as Neptune was
evidently determined upon waving it.—Punch.
RATHER FREE ON A SHORT ACQUAINTANCE.—The Cin-

cinnati Microscope says that the elephant one day last week,
while the performance was going on, reached his trunk into
a lady's bosom and took an apple out, much to the affright
of the young lady and the amusement of the crowd. Oh,
the monster!

CLEANSING THE SKIN.—In order to enjoy good health,
it is as necessary to cleanse the skin of every part of the body
as the hands and face. If you once begin to make a rule to
wash the whole body at least once a week, either by bathing
or otherwise, in cold water, the vigour and hilarity of feeling
you will experience will amply repay you for the labour. Try
it a few weeks, it will cost next to nothing.
COCKNEY WIT.—Two gentlemen took a boat at Black-
friars-bridge to go to the Tower. One of them asked the
other, who sat beside him, if he could tell him what coun-
tryman the waterman was. He replied he could not.
" Then," said the friend, " I can ; be is a Ro-tnan." A
cockney being told the above said the pun was Wherry
good.
Dr. Morrison says, in some provinces in China a public
notice is issued by wealthy parents to obtain a husband for
their daughter ; this is done by the affluent who are unwilling
to part with their child, and who, therefore, bring the son-
in-law into their own family, instead of the usual practice of
sending the daughter from home.

A graceless scamp, says the Boston Bee, was recently
heard singing the following : •
" When I can shoot my rifle clear,
To pigeons in the skies,
I'll bid farewell to pork arid beans,
And live on good pot-pies."
He was alone by himself at the time and returning from an
unsuccessful hunt after peeps and sand-snipe.
DIGNITY OF GASTRONOMIC DISCOVERIES.—A patriotic
Frenchman has observed—" I regard the discovery of a dish
as a far more interesting event than the discovery of a star ;
for we have always stars enough, but can never have too
many dishes; and I should not regard the science as suf-
ficiently honoured, or represented among us, until I see a
cook in the first class of the ins Unite."
JUDGES' CIRCUITS IN NEWFOUNDLAND.—UnIess in the
winter time, when ice turns the water into a solid road, land
locomotion must be carried on afoot ; and a tedious and toil-
some task it is. Two miles an hour is the mean of walking
in Newfoundland. The sea is consequently the great high-
way ; even the circuits are made round the coast, in a vessel
fitted up for all the legal functionaries, from the Judge, coun-
sellors, and so forth, down to the tipstaff.
A DUTCH WITNESS.—The following rich scene recently
occurred in one of our courts of justice, between the judge
and a Dutch witness all the way from Rotterdam :—Judge---
" What's your native language ?" Witness—" I pe no
native ; I's a Dootchman." Judge—" W hat is your mother
tongue ?" Witness—" 0, fader say she pe all tongue."
Judge (in an irritable tone),—" What language did you first
learn ; what language did you first speak in the cradle?"
Witness—" I tid not speak no language in to cradle at all ;
I only cried in Dootch. ' Then there was a general laugh,
in which the judge, jury, and audience joined. The witness
was interrogated no further about his native language.—New
Orleans Picayune.
EXECUTION FOIL PARRICIDE.—The execution of Langlois
for parricide, took place last week at Forges-les-Eaux, near
Rouen. His love of money, which was the motive of his
crime, was strong to the last. He was exceedingly anxious
about a sum of some thousand francs which lie had placed
for safety at the register's-office at Evreux. He asked for
some brandy when the executioner, with his assistants
entered to cut off his hair, and, after drinking several glasses,
declared he was ready to meet his fate like a man. He, in
fact, did exhibit extraordinary coolness during the whole
preparations for his end, walking with a firm step to the
scaffold, and hearing the judgment read with great calmness.
In less than half a minute after the reading of the document
had concluded he had ceased to exist.
ANECDOTE OF SHERlDAN.—Sheridan used to say that the
life of a manager was like the life of the ordinary of Newgate
—a constant superintendence of executions. The number of
authors whom he was forced to extinguish was, he said, a
perpetual literary massacre, that made St. Bartholomew's
altogether shrink in comparison. Play-writing, singly, ac-
counted for the employment of that immense multitude who
drain away obscure years beside the inkstand, and haunt the
streets with iron-moulded visages, and sturdy coloured
clothes. It singly accounted for the rise of paper, which
has exhausted the rags of England and Scotland, and had
almost stripped off the ilast covering of Ireland. He had
counted plays until calculation sank under the effort, and
every rejected play of them all seemed, like the clothes of a
Spanish beggar, to turn into a living, restless, merciless,
indefatigable progeny. ,
ORIGINAL ANECDOTE.--A jolly set of Irishmen, boon
companions and sworn brothers, had made up their minds
to leave the " old sod," and went their way to America.
They were five in number—two Paddies, one Murphy, one
Dennis, and one Teague. It so happened that the vessel
they were to go in could only take four of them. At length
honest Teague exclaimed, " Arrah ! I have it. We'll cast
lots to see who shall remain," But one of the Paddies
swore it was not genteel to do that thing. "You know,
Teague,". said he, " that I am an arithmetician, and I can
work it out by the rule of subtraction, which is a great deal
better. But you must all agree to stand by the figures."
All having pledged themselves to do so, Pat proceeded—
" Well, then, take Paddy from Padd you cant, but take Den-
nis from Murphy and Teague remains. By my sowl, Teague,
my jewel, and it's you that can't go."—Derry Journal.

LEGAL ORATORY.—The ceiling of the court-room of one
of the circuit courts of the United States lately fell in with a
tremendous crash, which, fortunately for the bench and bar,
happened when there was no one present. The court met
according to adjournment, and were about to adjourn over to
some future day, as no business could possibly be accom-
plished amid the surrounding ruin; when one of the bar ad-
dressed the court after the following manner :—" May it
please this honourable court, I hope the court will not ad-
journ till the case of Simpkins v. Jenkins has been disposed
of. Our witnesses are all ready, and it would be very incon-
venient for many of them to attend on another day. This
little accident, your honours, is nothing.—Fiat Justitia, ruat
ccelum

A PARALLEL TO " THE GRAPES ARE SOUR."—A field
slave in one of the Southern States of the American Union,
to whom meat was a rare blessing, one day found in his trap
a plump rabbit. He took him out alive, held him under his
arm, patted him, and began to speculate on his qualities.
" Oh, how bery fat ! De fattest I ebber did see ! Let us
see how me cook him. Me roast him? No ; he be so fat,
be lose all de grease. Me fry him ? Ah, he be so berry fat,
he fry himself. Golly, how fat he be ! Den me stew him."
The thought of the savory stew made the nigger forget him-
self, and, in spreading out the feast to his imagination, his
arm relaxed, when off hopped the rabbit, and squatting at
goodly distance, eyed his last owner with great composure.
The negro knew there was an end to the matter, so sum-
moning all his philosophy, he thus addressed the rabbit—
" You long-eared, white-whiskered, red-eyed rat, you not so
berry fat arter all !"
DEFENCE OF LAWYERS.—IIe makes law expensive, not
from a paltry desire to enrich his own coffers, but from a
magnanimous and patriotic wish to prevent the poor man
from indulging in hatred and uncharitableness, and to deter
the rich by a forcible appeal to their pockets, from a habit
of oppression towards their inferiors, and of opposition
towards their equals ; therefore let the costs of your legal
adviser be ever so exorbitant, discharge his claim at once,
and consider that you have only taken an expensive lesson in
morality. If the lawyer does promote litigation, it is from
the consideration that a country without a chancellor would
be little better than a ship without a helm ; and living in a
country with a chancellor, he looks upon it as the bounden
duty of every one to prevent so honourable a functionary
receiving his money for doing nothing.
RISING GENIUSES IN AMERICA.—SCENE IN A SCHOOL
Room.—Master--" Fuss class 'n jegrafee !" Scholars—
" Yeth'er." Master—" Tummas, what's the biggest river
in Ameriky ?" " The Tombigbee, zar ; Ike keeps a pinchin'
on me." "He pincht me first, zar, and I pincht him
back again." " Take yer seats ; fuss class in parsin' !"
Yeth 'er," " Moses, parse Arkansas'—sixth line from
top." " A-r-k ark, a-n-s arkans. a-s ass, Arkansas."
" Pronounce it Arkansaw ; but, Moses, you aint spellin'—
yer parsin' child." "0, yeth 'er, Harkandshaw is a noun,
objectiv case, indicativ mood, comparativ degree, third and
in nominativ case to scizzars." " You havn't said what gen-
der, Moses."—" Feminine gender." " Why ?''—" Corzitz
—" " Next ?" " Donno." " Next ?" " Corzitz a fe-
male." •` Next?" " Forgotten, zar." " Come, David,
you know ?" " Yeth 'er." " Well, why is Arkansas of the
feminine gender. David ?" "Corzitz why corzitz got Miss
Soury on the north, Louisa Anna on the souf, Mrs. Sippy
on the east, and ever so many more she-females on the west."
" Very well, David, you may go to the head ; you're a rising
genius, and 'll make a man before yer mother." " Yeth'er."
LOYOLA.—Having thus constituted himself a member of
some new and spiritual chivalry, assumed the insignia of
the order. They were simple enough, consisting of ragged
s
clothes, unwashed face, unshaven beard, neglected hair,
and shoeless feet ; he was equally opposed to sin and
He soap—
to to vice and vestments—to demons and decency,
made an experiment on the art of living without food,
but succeeded as badly as Bernard Cavanagh ; at the
end of a week of fasting, he was found in a cave, where
he had sought shelter, by some charitable monks, who
compelled him to take food. While practising these auste-
rities, he began to write his " Spiritual Exercises," one of
n
i os tf
the most singnlar works that ever issued from the crazed
brain of an enthusiast. In this work our Lord Jesus
a
is represented as a belligerent ' monarch, levying
his subjects to wage war against his enemy, the Devil.
Satan is described as a no less warlike potentate ; both organ-
ise their regiments, display their standards, harangue their
troops, lead them to the field, and promise rich plunder as
the reward of victory. It is a curious example of an author's
partiality for his early productions, that Ignatius, to the very
end of his life, recommended the study of this precious piece
of absurdity ; and, what is still more surprising, the Jesuits
adopted the error of their founder, and prevented a work so
disgraceful to his memory from falling into oblivion.—Age
of Elizabeth.

VESSELS ENTERED FOR LOADING.

(SINCE OUR LAST PUBLICATION.)

EAST INDIES, CAPE OP GOOD HOPE, ere.
Woodstock, W It Nichdlson, 350 Calcutta, Watson & Mackenzies
AFRICA.
Benin, G Knubley, 350 Africa, T Harrison & Co
WEST INDIES, 8(c.
Cheshire, JII Lienrickton, 352 Madeira & Barbados,
Barton, Irlam & Co
Swan, J D Blanchard, 272 Matanzas, CoLiman & Stolterfoht
Arcturus, D Hill, 223 Kingston, J Poole & Co
Jamaica, T Gibson, ' 361 Jamaica, J B Yates & Co
Sarah Trotman, H Brown, 305 Barbadoes, S L Trotman
Sarah, T Moore, 45 Port-la-Maria, J Jones & Co
SOUTH AMERICA.
Yarmouth, Forsyth, 169 Valparaiso, Bahr, Behrend & Co
Wannan, J Gibson, 384 Rio Grande, Crawford &Co
Novel, Simpson, 189 Bahia, J Gordon & Co
Cheshire Witch, A Laurie, 150 Brazils, Cotesworth & Wynne
UNITED STATES.
Acadia. W M'Kenzie, 802 Mobile, Chapman & Willis
Virginian, W H Allen, 620 New York, T& J Sands &Co
General Washington, G Fletcher, 6;7 Baltimore, Ingleby
Mary, J Sullivan, 342 Mobile, J Cropper
China, A Phillips, 618 Charleston, T 0 Johnson &Co
BRITISH AMERICA.
Dash, J L Robinson, 86 Carbonear, T& .1 Brocklebank
Carteretta, H Gale, 134 Newfoundland, R. Alsop
EUROPE.

Geo Henry Harrison, vlB3 Lisbon, Cotesworth & Wyune
Hammond, D M'Nabb, 155 Riga, J Aikin & Son
Nais, J Easton, 141) Gibraltar, G Yates & Louthean
Joage Wicher, E G Bosker, Rotterdam, Bahr &Co
Jupiter, E Hertoghe, Ostend, Bahr, Behrend &Co
Vigilante, L Simons, 166 Ostend, Bahr, Behrend &Co
Regatta, --, 154 Riga, t M'Tear & Brite
Exeter,
143 Civita Vecchia, Eshelby & Co
--,
Le Comete, J Meyenlena, Havre and Rouen, Bahr &Cc
Hebe, E Le BondH 132
ier,Jersey, D Buchanan, Son Sr Co
North Pole, A D Wilson, 312 Apalachicola, J Gordon &Co
Mount Charles, D Frost, 79 Lisbon, Hughes, Cowie &Co
Myrtle, R Carter, • 69 Seville, J Glynn & Son
Mary Ann Henderson, D Ewan, 132 Smyrna, Bahr, Behrend & Co
Susannah, J Heppall, 217 Hambro', Bahr, Behrend &Co
Cadiz, 1) Cumming, 71 Cadiz, strong & Reid
Guiseppiana, G Chiappe, 150 Genoe, , Ross Brothers
Alexander, D Murrey, 177 Leghorn, K Maeaniay &Co
Charlotte, R Wolff, 260 Pillau, C G Weber & Co

PRICES OF SHARES, SEPTEMBER 22.

Prices within the last seven days. This days
RAILWAYS, &c. Per Share. erices
Bolton and Preston
Birmingham and Gloucester
Ditto quarter
Birmingham and Derby
Bristol and Exeter 7O .... 0 0 0
Birkenhead and Chester
Ditto, new, issued at 433 dis. .... 1 19 0 pm.
Dublin and Drogheda
Eastern Counties
Ditto new Shares.... 6 6 8 8 0 5
Ditto, Debentures . , 86 8 0 0 0 ....
Edinburgh and Glasgow
Ditto new shares
Ditto Leigh and Newhaven 20 paid 0 0 0 ....
Glasgow, Paisley, & Greenock 25 paid 0 0 o
Half Shares . 9 .... 0 0 0
Glasgow, Paisley, Kilmar
Greenock, and Ayr 5O paid 0 0 0
Grand Junction
Ditto half shares 5O .... 89 5 0 ex.
Quarter 25 . 44 12 6 ex.
New ditto 7 10.. 0 0 0 ex.
Great Western 65 .... 0 0 0 ex.
Ditto new sharer 5O . 59 1 n 0 cx.
Ditto Fifth Shares 4 .... 0 0 0 ex.
Great North of England
Hull and Selby
Lancaster and Preston .. : 47 10 0 0 0 0 ....
Ditto Junction, new lB 10 0
Leicester and Swannington..., 50 .... 0 0 0 ....
Leeds and Selby
Liverpool and Manchester
Ditto quarter shares
Ditto half shares
London and Birmingham 9O .... 181 10 0 ex.
Ditto quarter shares
Ditto old shares
Ditto new
London & Brighton
Ditto new
London and South Western • • 39 57 15 0 .... 58 0 0
Ditto, 10th shares
Manchester, Bolton, & Bury • • 93 0 0 o ....
Manchester and Birmingham 4O 0 o 0 ....
Ditto and Ditto Extension
Manchester and Leeds
Ditto half shares
Ditto quarter shares .. '
Midland Counties
Ditto, quarter
North Midland 100.... 0 0 0 ....
New North Midland 4i)• 0 0 ....
One-third Shares ...... 01 7 6 .... 0 0 0 ....
North Union ........... •• • 75 .... 68 10 0 ex.
Newcastle and Carlisle lOO .... 0 0 0 ..
Ditto quarter shares
Ulster 25 0 0 o
Paris and Rouen lB .... 19 5 0 ....
South Eastern and Dover su .... 22 5 0 ....
New shares
York and North Midland 5O paid 0 0 0 ....
Halt Shares l5 .... 00 0 ....
BANKS.
Bank of Liverpool ........412 lOs paid 0 0 0 ....
Borough Bank
Commercial of Liverpool 10 .... 17 2 6
--- Commercial of England. 5 0 0 0
East of England lO •.. o o
of Manchester lO .... 0 0 0 ....
M'chester & L'pool Dsct. 15 0 0 0
Northern and Central
0
North and South Wales lO 5 0 0
•
Royal of Liverpool 500 703 10 0
South Lancashire
Albion
Liverpool Union lO .... 00 0 ex.
Liverpool Banking Co lO 0 0 0
Wilts and Dorset 7 10s. 0 0 0
tiAS, WATER WORKS,
Exchange Buildings 4lOO paid 0 0 0
L'pool and Harrington Water Stock ..
Works
Bootle Ditto Stock..., 301 10 0 .
L'poo Gas Light Company,
(Original Stock) lon ,
Ditto new Shares .... 100
L'pool New Gas & Coke Co. 4100
Ditto new shares are now paid up.
ASSURANCE COM PA.NI S
M'chester Assurance Company. 10
Liverpool Fire and Life 2 10s.
Ocean Assurance
Liverpool Marine Assurance
Company
DOCKS, FERRIES, NEW COMPANIES, &c.
Anderton Carrying Company 16 55.
Rock Ferry
Steam Tug Company lO . . 0 0 0
Harrington Docks lOO o 0 0 ....
Apothecaries' Company
. 0 0 0....
Asphalt° (Liverpool)
(POlOnceau) 2 .... 0 0 0 ....

00 0 .

0 0 0 ..

.. 7 19 2

o 0 0 ....
0 0 0 ....

o 0 o ....
o o 0 ....
O 0 0 ....

BIRTHS.

On the 11th instant, at Inverneil House, Argyleshire, the lady
of JAMES A. CAMPBELL, Esq., of Inverneil and Ross, of a son.
On the 12th instant, at Plasgwyn, county Anglesey, Lady
VIVIAN, of a daughter.
On the lath instant, at Cheltenham, the lady of ROBERT HART,,
Esq., barrister-at-law, of Dripshill, in the county of Worcester, of
a son.
On the 16th instant, at the 'residence of her father, John T. West,
Esq., J. P., Dublin, the lady of EDWARD POLLOCK, Esq*.
solicitor, of a daughter.
Same day, at Horton, on the Kimmage.road, the lady of W. D.
HAYES, Esq., of a daughter.

MARRIED.
On the 6th instant, at Bowden, in Cheshire, EDWARD WILTON.
SON, Esq., of Gleddow Wood, near Leeds, to SARAH ; and at the
same time, the Rev. J. WANTON, Incumbent of Drypool, Hull'
to MARY ANNE, daughter of the late P. DENTON, Esq"
W ittington , Derbyshire.
On the 13th instant, at Frankfort-on-the-Maine, DAVID
NOLDS DAVIES, Esq., of Withington. Lancashire, to ELLEN,
second daughter of the late JOSEPH BARTON, Esq., Bermondsel•
On the 14th instant, at Cheltenham, HENRY CROOKENDEPT,'
Esq., to JULIA, daughter of Rear-Admiral Sir SALISAIIO.'
DAVENPORT, C. 8., K.C.11. of Brammall-hall, Cheshire.
Same day, Mr. JAMES SHELDON, of this town, to ELIZA"
BETH, only daughter of the late Mr. J. STAFFORD, of Chester.
On the 15th instant, at Sculcoates Church, Hull, T. FRANCIS
ANDERSON, Esq., solicitor, of this town, to CHARLOTTE,
daughter of JOHN WALKER, Esq., of Mount Vernon-road.
Same day, at Prestbury, near Macclesfield, Mr. GEORGE
BRINSLEY, youngest son of the late Daniel Brinsley, Esq., t°
HARRIETTE, fourth daughter of the late JAMES ALLEN, Esq.,
both of Macclesfield.
On the 16th instant, in Newry, Mr. ROBERT WILLIAMS, of
Dublin, merchaet, to MARGARET, eldest daughter of the late Mr.
JOHN FRAZER, of Dublin.
Same day, at Llangeinwen Church, Anglesey, by the Rev. W.
Wynne Williams, Mr. J. THOMAS, Clerk to the Board of Guardians
of the Carnarvon Union, to Miss JANE, eldest daughter of the late
Rev. ROBERT lIUMPHREYS, one of the ministers in connection
with the Welsh Wesleyan Methodists.
On the 17th instant, at Kirk Braddan Church, Isle of Man, bf
Rev. J. Brown, Mr. JOHN MAYALL, of the Waterhead Mills,
near Oldham, to Miss ELIZA BISWICK.
On the i sth instant, at St. Paul's Church, by the Rev. Mr'
Hughes, Mr. JOHN FAIRBRIDGE, of Marybone, late of Ormskirkr
to Miss Ainscough, youngest daughter of Mr. Ainscough, coal"
merchant, Marybone.
On the Igth instant. at St. Philip's Church, by the Rev. Mr'
Townsend, Mr. JOHN CLARK, cooper, to Miss ANN CRYE, both
of Liverpool.
Same day, at St. Philip's Church, Mr. ROBERT BAY, to Miss
JANE RODGERS.

Same day, at St. Mary's Chapel, Edmund-street, by the Rev.
Mr. Dale, ALEXANDER GEO. MACFERSON, pawn-broker,
Prussia-street, second son of Wm. Macferson, Esq., of Oak-vale
House, West Derby, to ELLEN, youngest daughter of the late
Mr. THOMAS TYRER. wine-merchant, Liverpool.
On the 20th instant, at the Independent Chapel Salem, BrownloW:
hill, Mr. JOSEPH PARRY, master-builder, of this town, to JANI",
eldest daughter of Mr. ROBERT PRITCHARD, baker, Amlvicll'
Anglesey.
Yesterday, at St. Martin's-in-the-Fields, by the Rev. Cecil Wray
Mr. Mr. WILLIAM TYSON to ISABELLA, daughter of Mr. RODI•
CROWDSON all of this town.
Same day, at St. Philip's Church, by the Rev. Mr. Townsend',
Mr. JOHN KELLY to Miss MARGARET WHARTON, both o'
Liverpool.
Same day, at St. Peter's, by the Rev. Rector Brooks, Mr. JAMES
OWEN, of London road, to FRANCES ANNE KEATING, elder
daughter of the late JOHN WHITESIDE CASSON, Esq.