The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-10-11 00:00:00

errors that were redeemable; the transcendent power to
draw into unity of effect, elements the most lieterogent.ons,
and tempers the most incompatible; in short, that spirit
of civic accommodation to the times in which we had
supposed him to have been most wanting, and that spirit
of regard to the bold national temperament of the armies
he led, which was held most irreconcileable with martial
discipline ;—precisely these were the qualities which the
Durwood correspondence has exposed as the foremost of the
Duke's endowments : in any case, the very rarest endow-
ments ; and in this case, amongst an army so high-spirited,
the most operative for the final success. In short, to sum
up the truth by. the sharpest antithesis, instead of ruling in
his civic administration by means of military maxims, the
Duke of Wellington applied to military measures and to the
conduct of armies that spirit of civic policy which, in times
less critical by far, had not been attempted by generals of
nations the most democratic.
" Such is the retributory service, late but perfect, rendered
to the Duke's character. The shades of evening are now
stealinc, over his life:: and for him, also, that night is coming
in which no man can work. But as yet no abatement is vi-
sible in his energies of public duty. Tenderness, as towards
a ward of the nation, is now beginning to mingle with our
veneration. And, in the course of nature, the anxieties of a
mighty people will soon be suspended on his health, as they
have been long suspended on his majestic wisdom."

A CURIOUS INSTANCE OF INTERMITTING
MADNESS IN THE OLD DOWAGER O'GRADY.

Her son's death had, by the violence of the shock, drag-
ged her from the region of fiction in which she habitually
existed ; but, after the funeral, she relapsed into all her
strange aberration, and her bird-clock and her chimney-pot
head-dress were once more in requisition.
The old lady had her usual attendance from her grand-
daughter, and the customary offering of flowers was ren-
dered, but they were not so cared for as before, and Char-
lotte was dismissed sooner than usual from her morning's
attendance, and a new favourite received in her place. And,
" of all the birds in the air," who should this favourite be
but Master Ratty. Yes !—Ratty—the caricaturist of his
grandmamma, was, " for the nonce," her closeted companion.
Many a guess was given as to "what in the world" grand-
mamma could want with Ratty ; but the secret was kept be-
tween them, for this reason, that the old lady kept the reward
she promised Ratty, for preserving it, in her own hands, un-
til the duty she required on his part should be accomplished ;
and the shilling a day, to which Ratty looked forward, kept
him faithful.
Now the duty Master Ratty bad to perform was instructing
his grandmamma how to handle a pistol; the bringing up
quick to 'the mark, and levelling by " the sight," was ex-
plained, but a difficulty arose in the old lady's shutting her
left eye, which Ratty declared to be indispensable, and for
some time Ratty was obliged to stand on a chair and cover
his grandmamma's eye with his hand while she took aim ; this
was found inconvenient, however, and the old lady substi-
tuted a black silk shade, to obfuscate her sinister luminary in
her exercises, which now advanced to snapping the lock, and
knocking sparks from the flint, which made the old lady
wink with her right eye. When this second habit was over-
come, the " dry" practice, that is, without powder, was
given up, and a " flash in the pan" was ventured upon, but
this made her shut both eyes together, and it was some time
before she could prevail on herself to hold her eye fixed on
her mark, and pull the trigger. This, however, at last, was
accomplished, and when she had conquered the fear of seeing
the flash, she adopted the plan of standing before a handsome
old-fashioned looking-glass, which reached from the ceiling
to the floor, and levelling the pistol at her own reflection
before it, as if she were engaged in mortal combat, and every
time she snapped and burned priming, she would exclaim,
" I hit that time, I know—l can kill him—tremble, villain!"
Now, as long as this, pistol practice had the charm of
novelty for Ratty, it was all very well ; but when, day by
day, the Strange mistakes and nervousness of his grand-
mamma became less piquant, from repetition, it was not such
good fun ; and when the rantipole boy, after as much time
as he wished ;to devote to the old woman's caprice, endea-
voured to emancipate himself, and was countermanded, an
outburst of " Oh, bother!" would take place, till the grand-
mother called up the prospective shillings to his view, and
Ratty bowed before the altar of Mammon. But even Mam-
mon failed to keep Ratty loyal ; fur that heathen god,
Momus, claimed a superior allegiance ; Ratty worshipped
the "cap and bells" as the true crown, and " the bauble"
as the sovereign sceptre. Besides, the secret become trou-
blesome to him, and he determined to let the whole house
know what " gran" and he were about, in a way of his own.
The young imp, in the next day's practice, worked up the
grandruarnma to a state of greatexcitement, urging her to take
a cool and determined aim at the looking-glass.
" Cover him, well, gran," said Ratty.
" I will," said the dowager, resolutely.
" You ought to be able to hit him at six paces."
" I stand at twelve paces."
" No—you are only six from the looking-glass."
" But the reflection, child, in the mirror, doubles the
distance."
" Bother !" said Ratty.
your eye, and don't wink."
" Ratty, you are singularly obtuse to the charms of science.'
" `What's science ?" said Ratty.
" Why, gunpowder, child, for instance, is made by science.'
" I never saw his came, then, on a canister," said Ratty
" Pigon, Andrew and Wilks, or Mister Dartford Mills, are
the men for gunpowder. You know nothing about it, gran."
" Ratty, you are disrespectful, and will not listen to in-
struction. I knew Kirwan--the great Kirwan, the chemist,
who always wore his hat—"
" Then he knew chemistry better than manners," said

" Here, take the pistol—mind

Ratty.
" Ratty, you are very troublesome,—l desire you listen
sir,—Kirwan, sir, told me all about science ; and the Dublin
Society have his picture, with a bottle in his hand—"
" Then he was fond of drink," said Ratty.
" Ratty, don't be pert. To come back to what I was
originally saying ; I repeat, sir, I am at twelve paces from
my object ; six from the mirror, which, doubling by reflec•
tion, makes twelve ; such is the law of optics. I suppose
you know what optics are ?"
" To be sure I do."
" Tell me, then."
" Our eyes," said Ratty.
" Eyes !" exclaimed the old lady in amaze.
"To be sure." answered Ratty, boldly. " Didn't I hear
the old blind man at the fair asking charity ' for the loss of
his blessed optics?"
" Oh, what lamentable ignorance, my child!" exclaimed
the old lady. " Your tutor ought to be ashamed of him-
self."
"So he is," said Ratty. "He hasn't had a pair of new
breeches for the last seven years ; and he hides himself
whenever he sees mamma or the girls."
"Oh, you ignorant child! Indeed, Ratty, my love, you
must study. I will give you the renowned Kirwan's book.
Charlotte tore some of it for curl papers ; but there's enough
left to enlighten you with the sun's rays, and reflection and
refraction—"
" I know what that is, said Ratty.
" What ?"
" Refraction."
" And what is it, dear ?"
" Bad behaviour," said Ratty.
" Oh heavens !" exclaimed his grandmother.
" Yet it is," said Ratty, stoutly ; " the tutor says I'm re-
fractory when I behave ill ; and he knows Latin better than
you."
" Ratty, Ratty !" you are hopeless !" exclaimed his
grandmamma.
" No, I am not," said Ratty ; " I'm always hoping. And
I hope Uncle Robert will break his neck some day, and leave
us his money.
The old woman turned up her eyes, and exclaimed, " You
wicked boy !"
" Fudge !" said Ratty ; " he's an old shaver, and we want
it; and, indeed, gran, you ought to give me ten shillings for
ten days' teaching, now ; and there's a fair next week. and
I want to buy things."
" Ratty, I told you, when you made me perfect in the use
of a weapon, I would pay you. My promise is sacred, and I
will observe it with that scrupulous honour which has ever
been the characteristic of the family ; as soon as I hit some-
thing, and satisfy myself of my mastery over the weapon,
the money shall be yours, but not till then."
" Oh, very well," said Ratty ; go on then.—Ready—don't
bring up your arm that way, like the handle of a pump, but
raise it nice from the elbow—that's it.—Ready—fire! Ah,
there you blink your eye, and drop the point of your pistol—
try another. Ready—fire !—That's better.—Now steady the
next time."
The young devil then put a charge of powder and ball into
the pistol he handed his grandmother, who took steady aim
at her reflection in the mirror, and at the words, " Ready—
fire!" bang went the pistol—the magnificent glass was
smashed—the unexpeoed recoil of the weapon made it drop
from the hand of the dowager, who screamed with astonish-
ment at the report and the shock, and did not see for a mo-
ment the mischief she had done; but when the shattered
mirror caught her eye, she made a rush at Ratty, who was
screeching with laughter in the far corner of the room, where
be ran when he had achieved his trick ; and he was so help-
less from the excess of his cachinnation, that the old lady
cuffed him without his being able to defend himself. At last
he contrived to get out of her clutches, and jammed her
against the wall with a table so tightly that she roared
" Murder!" The report of the pistol ringing through the
house brought all its inmates to the spot ; and there the cries
of murder from the old lady led them to suppose some awful
tragedy, instead of comedy, was enacting inside ; the door
was locked, too, which increased the alarm, and was forced
in the moment of terror from the outside. When the crowd
rushed in, Master Ratty rushed out, and left the astonished
family to gather up the bits of the story as well as they could,
from the broken looking-glass and the cracked dowager.

THE ELOQUENCE OF THE TEXAS BAR.—May it please
the court—the learned barrister reminds me of an Andalu-
sian bull, with nostrils distended, eyes dilated, neck bowed,
tail curled, roaring and leaping, plunging and bellowing, and
charging over the Alpine heights and wide-extended plains of
jurisprudence ; but, may it please the court, the gentleman
has failed in his demurrer.

THE MINER.—" There's danger in the mines, old man,"
I exclaimed to a miner, who, with his arms bent, was lea -
ing against the sides of the immense vault, absorbed in medi-
tation—" it must be a frightful life." The old man looked
with a steadfast, but somewhat vacant, stare, and then, i•n
half-broken sentences, he muttered, " Danger—where is
there not danger,—on the earth or beneath it, on the moun-
tain or in the valley, on the ocean or in the quiet of nature's
most hidden spot, where hath not death left some token of
his presence ?" " Truly," I replied, " but the vicissitudes
of life are various : the sailor seeks his living on the waters,
and he knows each moment that they might engulf him ; the
hunter seeks death in the wild woods, the soldier on the field
of battle, and the miner knows riot but that the spot where
he now stands, to-morrow may be his tomb." "It is so,
indeeed," replied the old man ; "we find death in the
means we seek to perpetuate life • 'tis a strange riddle, who
shall solve it." " Have you long 'followed this occupation ?"
I asked, somewhat struck with the old man's manner.
" From a boy : I drew my first breath in the mines; I shall
yield it up in their gloom." " You have seen some of these
vicissitudes," I said, " to which you just now alluded ?"
"Yes," he replied, with a faltering voice, " I have. There
was a time when three small boys looked up to me, and
called me father ; they were sturdy striplings. Now, it
seems but yesterday they stood before me in the pride of
their strength, and filled, too, with a father's vanity. But
sawtbe Lord chasteneth the proud heart ; where are they now ?
I
the youngest (he was the dearest of the flock—his mo-
ther'sa
bleedingspirit seemed to have settled on him) crushed at my
feet
hot blood s
been more Prg
up
his light lastinglaugh was
came. There was no
was as the lightning's
beneath the fearfulg
time, that.changeth all.thi
two sons. But my cup
too, were taken from me.
their brother, but the i fire-damp' mass. We were together; so near that his
left them scorched and lifelessa.m
into my face. Molten lead had not
than those fearful drops. One moment, and
nin my ears ; the next, and the large mass
o,criyi of terror, but transition to eternity
load. It
and my poor boy lay crushed
It was an awful moment! but
of affliction
relief, and I still had
Sidetion was not yet full ; they,
pi:bcaught their breath, and
by side they died, not as
him
earth'sbrought
was
childlesshome
and
nt
do
richest treasures
the old man, his jewels, than who
in his sight had no price, and toldhe
alone. It is a strange decree that the old oled plant should thus
"You iiave indeed,"at I
survive the strippling things it shaded,
surprisingand for whom it
would have died a thousand times.
" drunk of affliction, whence do you derivec
should wish to die here in the mines ?"
til: conso-
lation
The old man looked up, "From heaven ; Godugus°-
:1-liee'c'lt'aketli away, blessed be His name." I bowed
head to the miners pious prayer, and the old man passed liolsn'.
—The Mining Journal.
.