The Liverpool Standard, and General Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1854-09-26 00:00:00

Nae Provost and nae bailies there,

inquiries were made, when the apocryphal injunctions
were adduced in explanation. Upon this, the too credulous
railway officials were informed by Sir GEORGE GREY, at
HER MAJESTY'S request, that no such orders had been
issued. At this point it was ascertained that the Earl of
MANSFIELD and a party were waiting outside, and had
been inexorably refused admission by the railway officials ;
and not till a royal order had been issued were his lord-
ship and his friends admitted. Who was the originator
of the hoax has not been discovered ; but be he who he
may, he will show more prudence in keeping his own
secret than he did in cracking his sorry joke, for, if found
out, he may rest assured he will be put " through the
heckle-pins" in a way he will not speedily forget. With
that consideration for the loyalty of her subjects which
has at all times characterised HER MAJESTY, she has
ordered explanations to be made in all quarters where dis-
appointment was likely to have been felt.
Another matter which has helped in no small degree
to enliven the dull autumnal coteries of London, has been
found in connexion with your own good town; and not
for many a day have the affairs of Liverpool occupied so
great a share of metropolitan attention as has been be-
stowed on the opening of St. George's-hall and its
attendant ceremonies. Private circles have been loud in
their comments, and the sentiments which have found
utterance in those circles have been echoed by the press,
with probably one not very remarkable exception, The
Times. This organ of opinion has devoted much atten-
tion to the subject, and has bestowed on the event and on
those who had the management of it so lavish an extent and
so bitter a degree of abuse, as to cause some surprise in
those not to some extent acquainted with the machinery
of The Times and the tactique by which that machinery
is governed. The undeclared, though real policy of that
journal to promote centralization and discourage the
growth of provincial importance, has long been obvious to
those who have watched its progress ; and many here
find no difficulty in tracing to that course of policy the
vituperation bestowed on the Liverpool musical festival,

on the gorgeous hall whose inauguration that festival was
held in honour of, and on the committee by which both
have been managed. The selection of the music, the
style of the arrangements, the capabilities of the hall,
have each in their turn been sneered at, questioned, and
condemned. Nearly similar performances by the same,
or nearly the same artistes, have been within a brief
space given in Norwich and Worcester ; and the performers
and the performances at those places have been applauded
"till echo rang again." Simple-minded men are at a
loss to account for such disparity of judgment, and com-
miserate the dyspeptic stomachs and diseased digestion of
those "leaders of the blind" who know so well the sci-
ence of "blowing hot and cold with the same breath."
Those better acquainted with the strategy of Printing
House-square, perceive at a glance that the "centralizing
principle" runs no risk from Norwich and Worcester. To
commend their efforts is not to raise them from their pro-
vincial character—an isolated success in one, or, better

than one, in both of these cities will not jeopardise the
supremacy of London ! A marked success—an enduring
triumph, a permanent advance in a vigorous, youthful,
and expansive community like Liverpool, is to raise a
competitor for the palm of power ;—to foster the growth of
a new-born, social, and commercial giant, is to throw ob-
stacles in the way of that centralizing progress which, by
direct and indirect, though always unproclaimed means,
the Times endeavours to promote. If not possessing
much of the "meekness of the dove," the Times is, at all
events, in a good degree imbued with the "cunning of the
serpent," and knows full well that, in such a case as the
one referred to, a semblance of impartiality and a display
of popular leaning are indispensable to success ; hence its
tirades against the authorities. Hence also its clever prac-
tical adoption of the maxim,
Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer,
And without sneering teach the rest to sneer ;
Willing to wound, and yet afraid to strike,
Just hint a fault and hesitate dislike ;
Alike reserved to blame or to commend ;
A timorous foe and a suspicious friend.

The cholera still continues a fertile, though far from
a pleasing subject of remark; general thankfulness, how-

being expressed at the apparent mitigation of its
severity, the past week having shown a considerable dimi-
nution in the number of deaths. Should the rate of mor-
tality continue to decrease, there will be reason for believ-
ing that, under the blessing of Gon, the power of the
scourge has been abated, and that ere long it will have
passed away. In the metropolis its ravages have been
great, and it still stalks abroad throughout the land with
a portentous stride, preceded by dismay, and followed by
desolation and mourning. A considerable sensation has
been created in consequence of the death of a cholera

patient, accelerated, as the Coroner's Jury have decided,
"by the use of WATERTON'S medicines." From the
evidence it is difficult indeed to say what, or whether the
medicine had any hand in bringing about the fatal result ;
but the fact of the death and the circumstances revealed
at the inquiry should go far to prove the impropriety
of relying exclusively upon the application of nostrums for
the prevention or cure of this terrible disease. Probably
under no other species of bodily affliction is it of such con -
sequence to watch varying circumstances, and to apply the
resources of pharmacal science with discrimination as in the
critical stages of this relentless pestilence, and these can
only he applied with safety under the instruction of a quali-
fied medical practitioner.
Just as the denizens of the metropolis had begun to in-
spect their coal-cellars, overhaul their winter habilaments,
and prepare for being " laid up in ordinary" for the winter
months, to hibernate unmolested by war's alarms, the town
has been suddenly roused by intelligence from the east, and

The war, which for a space did fail,
Now trebly thundering, swells the gale

with rumours in which a handful of fact is made to
colour and flavour a world of fiction, of every shape
and magnitude, except those of truth and likelihood. Of
these, one set has it, that a mere invasion of the Crimea
is all that can be effected, or that is contemplated during
the present campaign, and that the fall of Sebastopol will
be reserved till next year, when its capture will be made
the opening glory of the second campaign. The promul-
gators of this rumour insist that the utmost effort which
can be made this year will be the reduction of Anapa and
another bombardment of Odessa. Another set—but these,
seeing that the prosecution of the war is still entrusted
to the hands who reluctantly began, and have so listlessly
pursued it, are probably less entitled to regard—insist
upon the moral effect which would be produced by wresting
Sebastopol from the CZAR, and establishing a secure hold,
if not absolute possessiodfof the Crimea. The chief ob-
jection to be raised against the arguments of this party
is, that their views are too much in accordance with
common sense, and savour too earnestly of a desire to
bring the war to a conclusion. Men deeply learned in
ministerial manoeuvres, and having well-grounded pretence
to skill in " war's vast art," ask significantly, if Ministers
had really meant all they said in their post-prandial
oratory, previous to despatching NAPIEE to the north,
whether they would have sent him without a vessel whose
draft of water was not too great to enter in safety the ap-
proaches to those arsenals he was expected to subdue ;
and whether also they NT_Quld have allowed the army to

remain at a distance from the scene of action in the East,
till it was decimated by disease. These questions even
the apologists of Ministers admit themselves unable satis-
factorily to explain.
Speculation relative to the conduct of the war, and the
PREMIER'S expectation of its results, has received another
and an unpleasant turn during the past week, by the pub-
lication of a letter from the valiant Earl of DIINDONALD,
who states distinctly enough, " That there is but one
means whereby to place the opponents (ships and such
fortresses as Cronstadt) on an equal footing, and that I
have confidentially laid before the Government, with the
hope that :a protracted defensive war should not linger on,
to the disorganisation of Europe, and the ruin of our
country?' What the Earl of ABERDEEN may have
thought of his gallant countryman's plan, the public is
as yet unacquainted with ; but, comparing the small
results with the great and expensive preparations for the
Baltic expedition, no inconsiderable portion of that public
has become somewhat particular in a desire to know how
far their lordships agree or disagree as to the ruinous
nature of "a protracted defensive war." From Vienna
we are informed that our somewhat equivocal ally, the
" brave and resolute young Emperor" of Austria, has
resolved on supplying his artillery with gun-cotton as a
substitute for gunpowder, and not a few in this country
incline to the conjecture that some such sage design for
ending the present war has entered into the cogitations
of our clear-headed PREMIER. A prevalent opinion, how-
ever, in regard to this supposed device inculcates the sus-
picion that his "trusting noble nature" has sent him
to the wrong market for his material. In short, that he
has depended for his explosive mixtures on the Peace
Society's laboratories, whose chemists have been engaged
in vain endeavours to realise COBDEN'S singular trick of

"crumpling up Russia like an old newspaper," and dis-
tilling the oxide of bathos in futile efforts to secure a
golden residuum wherewith to construct a "BRIGHT tes-
timonial."

The "Upas laurels" achieved by the officers of HER
MAJESTY'S 46th Regiment seem likely to assume a more
"verdant" hue, day by day, while they remain in this
country. The gallant major, and no less gallant adjutant,
of that distinguished corps, the defeat of whose legal em-
prize I last week alluded to, have been served with sum-
monses at the suit of the next of kin of the boy Slams,
for false imprisonment : the damages are laid at £25, and
the case is to come on before the county court magistrate.
In the meantime, PERRY'S defence and testimonial fund
is making fair progress, having already reached £l,OOO.
Among the remarkables connected with it, is the contri-
bution of £5O from the Duke of CLEVELAND, a major-
general in the army, accompanied by a letter, in which
his grace severely stigmatizes the proceedings against
Lieutenant PERRY, and expresses his surprise that no
inquiry has been ordered into the conduct of Colonel
GARRETT, and also, that that gentleman should be con-
tinued in the command of the regiment. The Earl. of
SHAFTESBURY and Lord ASHBURNITA.3I are likewise con-
tributors to the PERRY fund.

The blind poet of Paradise, in one of his rarely occur-
ring facetious humours, tells us " a book was writ of late,
called Tetrachorden," which, among other matters,
" walked the town awhile," and, furthermore, that it
created a great sensation. In our own day, a not less
marvellous book has made its appearance from the classic
shades of old Edina's laurelled bower. It is called by its
author, " A Spasmodic Tragedy," and is named " Firmi-
lian." It is a wonderful compound of poetical power and
biting satire. Its author, whose pseudo-name is T.
PERCY JoNas, says, in his highly diverting preface, " I
am not arrogant enough to assert that this is the finest
poem which the age has produced ; but I shall feel very
much obliged to any gentleman who can make me ac-
quainted with a better." This may be taken as a key to
his satire and its treatment. He ridicules with wondrous
tact and caustic sharpness the "spasmodic school" of
poetry, as that finds favour in the public appreciation of
SMITU's " Life Drama," and other popular poems. He

also launches a barbed dart, as is supposed, at the preten-
sions of Mr. GEORGE GILEILLAN, a pseudo-poet critic,
who is understood to be represented in the following

graphic burlesque

Enter APOLLODORUS, a Critic,

Why do men call me a presumptuous cur,
A vapouring blockhead, and a turgid fool,
A common nuisance, and a charlatan ?
I've dashed into the sea of metaphor
With as strong paddles as the sturdiest ship
That churns Meduste into liquid light,
And hashed at every object in my way.
My ends are public. I have talked of men
As my familiars, whom I never saw.
Nay—more to raise my credit—l have penned
Itpistles to the great ones of the land,
When some attack might make them slightly sore,
Assuring them, in faith, it was not I.