The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-10-18 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

The following gallant toast was lately given at a dinner to
General Dudley, in North Caroline :—" The Ladies—Our
arms their protection—Their arms our reward."
rl HE MOREA.—Dionysius, the geographer, compared the
form of the Morea, or ancient Peloponnesus, to the leaf of
the plane-tree, making the footstalk to be the isthmus by
which it is joined to Greece. Pliny also says, the Pelopon-
nesus is shaped, by the number of its bays, like a plane-leaf.
Professor Martyn, in his notes to the Georgics of Virgil,
observes of this similitude, that it is as just as we can expect
in anything of this nature; and to illustrate it, be has given a
figure of the Peloponnesus, and of the leaf of the plane-tree
on the same page in his pictorial embellishments.
A DUTCH WITNESS.—The following rich scene recently
occurred in one of our courts of justice, between the judge
and a Dutch witness all the way from Rotterdam :—Judge—
‘• What's your native language ?" Witness—" I pe no
native ; I's a Dootchman." Judge—" What is your mother
tongue ? " Witness—" 0, fader say she pe all tongue."
Judge (in an irritable tone)—" What language did you first
learn ; what language did you speak in the cradle ?" Wit-
ness—" I tid not speak no language in to cradle at all ; I
only cried in Dootch." Then there was a general laugh, in
which the judge, jury, and audience joined. The witness
was interrogated no further about his native language.—New
Orleans Picayune.
Gon's PATIENCE.—Let us imitate God's patience in our
own to others. He is unlike God that is hurried with an un-
ruly impetus to punish others for wronging him. The con-
sideration of Divine patience should make us square our-
selves according to that pattern. God bath exercised a long-
suffering from the fall of Adam to this minute on innumerable
subjects, and shall we be transported with desire of revenge
upon a single injury ? If God were not slow to wrath, a sin-
ful world had been long ago torn up from the foundation.
And if revenge should be exercised by all men against their
enemies, what man should have been alive, since there is not
a man without an enemy ? If every man were like Saul,
breathing out threatenings, the world would not only be an
Aceldama, but a desert. How distant are they from the na-
ture of God, who are in a flame upon every slight provoca-
tion from a sense of, some feeble and imaginary honour, that
must bloody their sword for a trifle, and write their revenge
in wounds and death ! When God bath his glory every day
bespattered, vet he keeps his sword in his sheath : what a
woe would it be to the world if he drew it upon every affront !
This is to be like brutes, dogs, or tigers, that snarl, bite, and
devour upon every slight occasion : but to be patient is to be
divine, and to show ourselves acquainted with the disposition
of God. "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father
which is in heaven is perfect."—Charnock.
THE GOOD AND THE BAD LANDLORD.—The following
is an extract from a speech of Lord Wodehouse, at a public
dinner in Norfolk last week :—" Some persons imagine that
a good landlord is he who takes a low rent. I say no. A
good landlord is he who takes a fair remunerative rent, and
considers himself as well as his tenant. A gentleman may
have a good steward ; but a good landlord does not rely on
any steward; he looks around among his tenants for himself,
to see if they are farming well, and informs himself upon
everything that relates to his owo property and the welfare
of his tenants. A good landlordgenerany resides on his own
property. He is not to be found thrgrovarts of the year in
St. James's-street, but will be looking after his own interests,
as well as those of his tenantry. On the contrary, a bad
landlord is the worst weed a soil produces. He lives princi-
pally in London—is seen at Newmarket, Melton Mowbray,
and, in their turn, Paris • Baden-Baden. The gentleman
I mean employs an agenhitChancery-lane, Mr. Gammon.
This Mr. Gammon, never se the estate himself, but employs
clerks, who write an excellent hand and send in neatly-writ-
ten accounts. He knows nothing about the estate, whether
it be arable or pasture, only the rent. He employs some
person who deceives him, and informs him the land is worth
forty shillings, while it is really worth only thirty shillings
per acre. The agreements are made and the unfortunate
tenants receive them. Rent-day arrives, and the tenant in-
forms Mr. Gammon that lie cannot make up his rent; to
which Mr. Gammon replies, I cannot give you a moment ;
his lordship has lost money at Crockford's Newmarket;
meeting is coming, and he must have the money. Now,
what is a good landlord ? He wishes to live himself, but he
also desires that all around him should live. The rent-day
comes, and the tenant says, I am in real distress; it is diffi-
cult for me to make up the rent. The landlord, from living
on his estate, knows what the farmer has done to the land;
he sees that be has been marling, and manuring, and done
much, but that his capital is not sufficient to carry it on.
What does the landlord say ? What money do you want?
The tenant replies, 1 do not want a great deal ; a hundred
pounds would make it all right. The landlord lends it him,
and tells him to go on improving. You are doing both me
and yourself advantage. This is what a good landlord is.
ASTONISHING CREDULlTY.—Yorkshiremen have been for
ages renowned for their acuteness ; but some exceptions from
the general rule will occasionally be found, of which the fol-
lowing facts furnish a pretty sample :—An elderly man, a
retailer of beer, not a hundred miles from Holmfirth, and
still nearer to a place called Chopperds in Wooldale, on the
evening of the 16th of September last, had the misfortune to
fall in with a gang of gypsies on their march. Small persua-
sion induced the old simpleton to have his " fortune told."
The old sibyl, who was provided with charms for all exigen-
ciencies, told her dupe he must get a sum of money not less
than £3OO. Strange as it may appear, he actually provided
£3lO in bank of England and the Halifax and Huddersfield
Union Bank notes, with £5O more in gold,—in all £360.
This the crafty Egyptian persuaded him to let her tie up safe
in a bag, which she produced for the purpose ; and, while
she was telling him his fortune, she dexterously exchanged
it for another bag exactly similar ; and, giving it to him, told
him to lock it up in a drawer or cupboard, and to give her
the key, and not to touch or open it till the expiration of
three days. All this the old fellow punctually complied with.
But on Sunday, beginning to feel rather uneasy, he found
means to open the drawer, and took out the charmed paper.
Upon opening it, words are deficient to depict his horror and
dismay at finding his notes and gold mysteriously transformed
into bits of blotting paper and small round pieces of lead.
H e now for the first time broke the gypsey's enjoined silence,
by informing a friend of the case, who, supposing the police
at Huddersfield were gifted with second sight, advised the
hapless dupe to go to them, as they would most infallibly
set off in pursuit and recover his money. Accordingly, early
on Monday morning, he proceeded to the chief of the Hud-
dersfield police, and laid his case before him, but was miser-
ably disappointed on being informed that, without some clue
to the route the rogues had taken, it was totally impossible
to attempt to follow them. A printer was, however, set to
work to produce some handbills, with a full description of
their persons; but, from the well-known craft of the Egyp-
tian tribe, it is not very likely he will ever succeed in either
capturing the thieves or obtaining the restitution of his money ;
so that, in the words of the Irishman, if he wishes to overtake
them he must wait till they come back. It is really most
amazing that an elderly man on the verge of sixty at least, a
Yorkshireman too, should suffer himself to be so egregiously
duped by so stale a trick. But there is an old proverb about
" Fools and their money."
MORAL INFLUENCE ON THE RURAL LABOURER'S CHA-
RACTER, BY INCREASING HIS SELF-RESPECT.—The care
taken of their cottages and gardens (writes a benevolent land-
holder of Berkshire, who has bestowed much care on the
cottages upon his own estate) affords an excellent criterion
of the character of the labourers. I have paid especial at-
tention td those labourers who have displayed cleanliness and
order ; and I pay the most respect to those who have achieved
a situation of the greatest comfort, and keep themselves and
their houses cleanly, and their children tidy. Formerly the
cottages were in bad order, their pavements and windows
broken; I had them all paved, and their windows glazed. I
told the cottagers, that I did not like to see shabby broken
windows, with patches of paper and things stuffed in, or
broken pavements, which they could not clean, and that 1
disiiked Irish filth and Irish habits of living. I engaged,
after the cottages were thoroughly repaired, to pay £1 a year
for repairing them. I undertook to make the repairs myself,
and deduct the expenses from this £1 ; but, if they wanted
no repairs, they were to have the whole £1 for themselves.
This course has, I find, formed habits of care ; and their cot-
tages are now so well taken care of, that very little deduc-
tion is made annually from the £l. Formerly they used to
chop wood carelessly on their pavements, and broke them ;
now they abstain from the practice, or do it in a careful man-
ner, to avoid losing the money. In the winter I give them
two score of fagots towards their fuel. I have found that by
this means I save my hedges and fences, and am pecuniarily
no loser, whilst pilfering habits are repressed. Since the en-
closures have been made, I think some place should be pro-
vided for the exercise and recreation of the working classes,
and especially for their children. I have set out four acres
at Oldworth, as a play-ground for the children, or whoever
likes to play. They have now their cricket matches, their
quoit playing, and their revels there. Sheep and cows feed
on it, so that it is no great loss to me. J let it for £4 a year
to a man, on condition that he cuts the hedges, and keeps it
clean. I have surrounded it with a double avenue of trees.
The sheep and cows do good to the ground, as they keep the
grass under, which allows the ball to run. I give prizes to
the boys at the school, which is maintained by the cottagers
themselves, and to which I contribute nothing but the prizes
for reading, writing, andknitting. Many persons accuse the
poor of ingratitude, but I find them the most grateful peo-
ple alive for these little attentions; and what do they all
cost me? Why, not more altogether than the keep qf one
fat coach-horse.