The Statesman.
London, England, 1809-10-31 00:00:00

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../It or THIS STATEMUN.
Munn Mutton—AS WOO of your Korre.
spondents as thought proper to interduce my
name concerning the Common Garden Row, and
my old pal, 'Kegler Barkly Craven havin tipped
the publiek wish his hopittion•about the matter, I
thinks as how its of grate himportence that you
should no my centimens on this here ruin peece
of bisness, and so I grabs this here hopportunity
of lettin you no 'em.
D'ye think for to go to make me beleeve as how
all this rumpus is about payin a tizzy Or two?
No, mill my v;g if it is: its a plot and conspire.
acy agin our beloved King (God bless him), our
holy halters, and glorus konstitashon, in defense
of rich I'll spend my last tester, and loose the last
dray o blood vat runs in my vanes.
Some folks is mity squeemish for sooth, about
me and my chums being hinterduced in the Play.
house, saying as how v'ere blagards and thief.
trees, and all that, and as how v'ere not fit for
gemmen's cumpany—but I'll have 'em to know
v'crc meat fur their masters, and is on a frendly
footin in the hiest cerkles of rank and fashun.
You must no, Muster Heditur, its I vat finds the
Pod in all them are luminous hartieles about
Dinners, and Crim. Con. and State Secruts—as
you may tell by my stile and lingoand has I
ham a pillow of pollished !Piety, I konsiders my.
self in duty bound to hespose the desines of them
are infermuus, scanderious, diabollikill, hickka.
binnacle, retches and traytors, who abuses King
Kemble as they calls him, wen all the time they
meens good old George—and the huprore about
downing with the heztra dust is only a fetch, d'ye
see, fur throwin hof the Tazes himposed for
carreing on this just and necessary var; howsome
dower v'eve nabb'd a few, and vil keep a sharp
look out arter the remainder ; and you too,
Muster lleditor, if you come any lingo of that
there biassed STATEN/10f in this here bloody Pit.
I must kooclude, has my freed Jemmy as just
sent me a few reams of borders to cut up for to.
morrow nite, and so I remand,
Muster Ile.!lfort
In duty bound,
A PEACIR OF A POLISH HOFFItSUR.
TOWNS END..illejs Bow-wow-street.
Moody.
TO LEARNED PROFESSOR.
What's an oath ?
An affirmation, insane. or promise, corroborated by
the sierviolioss of the Devise RcMg.
Jonasov.
But our oath ran have ao indoence, except upon this.
who kit** Orel then is Goo. SW WT.
Take am his same, who made shy mouth, is vaia..
It gets thee nothing. andhatk no escuw. _
Lust sad IS isle plead a plemore, avarice a rain. -
But the cheap swearer through his .pen shirt
Lets his sv.ol run fur naught. H tnllltltir. •
Now. by Ipn:to, Jim, thou swear'st thy Gods io vain.
Linage's-11w, bl,sinlas. BOIL.
To the EDITOR of THE STATESMAN.

DE-4771 OP THE DUKE OP PORTLAND.
Although this Nobleman hater some time bs
considered in a very dangerous state, his imasediiite
dissolution was not apprehends, by the Faculty.
The escrociating- and increated pain which his
Grace had lately endured, induced him to submit
to the operation of Lithottsmy, and a stone it
considerable size being successfully extracted, the
recovery of his Grace was looked upon as being
likely to be impeded only by his advanced age, 71.
But not long after the operation, his Grace was
attacked by Epilepsy, which, after C faint stink
gic, terminated his existence, in the afternoon of.
yesterday, at Burlington House.
'This Nobleman is succeeded by his son, the
late Marquis of Titchfield„ now Duke of Port.
land. His political life is su well known to our
Readers, that it is needless to enter into any de-
tail of it. His Grace was Lord Lieutenant of
Nottinghamshire, Keeper of Sherwood Forest
and Folewood Park, Chancellor of the Univer.
sity of °llford, High Steward of Bristol, as
Elder Brother of the Trinity House, a Gspversor
of the Charter Haw, and a Family Trustee of
the &Wish Museum; he was lase a Knight of the
Garter. The Duke was in the 72d year of his age.
His Grace was born April 14, 1738; he one.
seeded his father, William, the late Duke, May 1,
1762; and on the Bth November, 1766, he mar.
vied Dorothy, daughter to William, the fourth
Duke of Devonshire, by whom, whit died in 1794,
ho had issue, ‘Villiam Henry Cavendish Scott
Bentinck, the present Dike, born 21th June,
1768; William Henry Cavendish, born 14th Sep.
tember, 1774, a Major-General in the Army, and
late Governor of Fort St. George, in the East
Indies; Charlotte, born 3d October, 1775, Liar..
tied to Chides Greville, Esq.; Mary, born 13th
March, 1778; Charles, a Lieutenatto-Colonol itt
the army and a Captain in th- Foot Guards; and
Frederick Cavendish, born 2d November, 1781,
also a Lieutenant-Colonel in the army and a Cap.
tam in the Ist Foot Guards. Hi- Grace's titles
were, Duke of Portland, Mary of Titckfield,
Earl of Portland, Viscount Woodstock, Baron of
Cirencester.
The political life of his Grace will, in future
history, be intimately connected with the politics •
of thi.

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FUN.

Some fuimy Centimes had ingeniously contrived to pot a
considerable number of persons to great inconvenience, by
the following hoax t— The family of Mr. Gratin, a miser.;
table Apothecary, in Bedford-street, Coventi.Gartleo, bens
oat of town, the House is estraoll. to the rare of a single
female, who on the day. preesibiethe Jiditlee " was ate.
ebbed by the de livery et apart riatigle 'tithe largest lime;
Wreeking-Itorse, of dinitelnisse equal la that produced on the
stage hi Fasik's farce of " TAs Consoefeasrp," curpstiog in
quantity sulleieot to hide every Soir aml stale la the homer
and, as the awn* wittleolneay be seven, and cosh scarce;
three large wawalmigs, W of which were duly shoe into
the cellar and, though 111111,.. not least, several wpm of
candle•, whkh, had the: all been 14dhwd, might have fig
waned as Mal Latest at space with tiag pot of am AWL
of F.aglaad. Numerous other articles arrived; the knocker
sever rested; and the porters jostled each ..ibet gm the step
throughout the day. The hall and rooms ea the grased floor
absolutely resembled a shwa issAnisrlea,where you mar be wp-
•piied with every article of European redaction. A; lengtlrden
boa begat to be 'especial, tad toe housekeeper refused to re+
mire any more articies.and though enraged at the trick, bee
tranquillity was returtshig, when o.i the day of the Jubilee,
about 4 o'clock,she wassesimeoed by a treenail** thuntir rat
the backer, and on owning the door, cot step ed
dies sad a Heideman. During the esplaustids which ono
up cams another chaise; mad shortly after eusuther The
esippny adjoursed kin the deranged dining-room, w here they
were finally joined by some Mem s of the Doctor, who suc-
cessively alighted from five other carriages—making in the
whale sight carriages. A crowd soon collected, and teaming
the cause of this utmost assemblaze, they instantly entered
Into the spirit of the joke, much more so indeed than the dis-
appointed visitants, who drove off amidst the hostas of the

Sta—Lest the Proprietors 'Muhl not be fully
aware how unremittingly the Professor employs
himself in their service, I take this method of as.
snring them, that during his attendinte at the
Westminster Sessions-house, be employs even the
short intervals between swearing, in writing orders
for the Theatre in the Clerk of the Pleas Office.
This I saw, and notwithstanding any future oaths
of Jemmy to the contrary, will, if necessary,
make affidavit of what is here *Mkt', before
Mr. Advocate Mainwaring, or any other advocat.
ing Magistrate in the kingdom.
I am, Sir,
JOHN BULL, WITH HUI BUGLE-HORN.
Temple, lilasday.
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To the EDITOR of TIM ST4TESMiN.
Ste—l take in your Paper daily, and beg leave
to assure you, that the spirit and independence
which you have displayed, and are now manifest-
ing in opposition to the insolent Proprietors of
Covent Garden Theatre, meet with nut only my
warmest thanks and approbation, but with those
of all mg Neighbours. Proceed, good Sir, in the
cause with the same seal, and you very soon
will receive the unanimurs thanks of a generous
public.
But I must hope that neither that public, nor
you, will stop, until you have effected a thorough
reform in all the abuses of the Theatre.
I request the favour of asking a few questions
upon the subject, sad I trust they will be fair
and impartial.
Has it sot been the opinion of Government that
two Theatres for the English Drama were sum.
duet for the seetropolis; and under this opinion
has eat every offer to build more been refused for
per' past?—This opinion was formed and acted
epee when there were uo Private Boxes ; cense-
queotly, the accommodation fur the public the

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is it for Mr. Y. and his coadjetors to intrude
upon that /accommodation with impunity, or to
insult the town by requiring what prices of admis-
sion they pkasaP It is obvious at present that
neatly tine side of the Theatre is liable to be
taken up by Asonual Private Bores; and it is no
less so to those ♦cgnainted with London, that no
other bon, or even seat, can be taken by an holiest
Tradesman's faultily, unless they sebscribe 5. 10,
or ID guineas to the Bo:keeper!, book at Christ.
mu. Thus the middle class of people are totally
excluded from the play, unless they cringe to the
tyranny of Mr. Kausr.s.
No, no, Mr. Editor, this must not be—l be.
Hese I have stated reason enough, aid stated the
cue fairly—John Bull will very soon see it clearly
and demand justice.
Oet. 28. THOM 4S ATKINSON.
A Gentleman of Wye, fur a wager of My
!guineas, was to ha►e walked yesterday 48 miles
in twelve hours, with a mute basket upon his
shoulders.
A gro broke out last week in a range of about
20 cottages, near Ardleigh Crown, and entirely
C Moaned the soot. No NM were lost.

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TH R STATKSMAN. • -4"
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crowd.
The Contriver of this piece of fun must have been lots
mattly acquainted with Abe connections of Mr. G. No
discovery Ilas yet been made of this funny Gestleman, but
it is not likely that he can eventually be concealed. Toa good
Joke, no lover of mints will refuse assent t but when prac-
tical jokes are tarried to as extent, which may be productive
of inconvenience, and vexation, so great as have mimeo is
this instance, they cannot but be considered as extremely on-
je,tiflable. There is this too to be considered, :34 the very
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essence of apike Is lost, if the author is not present to missy
the effect, which we apprehend could not be the case is the
present, unites indec.l, and sctieb we suspect, tt•it eoetriver
had the polky to make one in the number of those who came
in the carriages. W, rec •ilintetid Mr. G. if be anxious to
discover the author, to examine the Names of his visitors.
Perhaps beauty not be disoppoirsted is the inquiry.
The prisoners in Cold-Bath Fields, usually de.
nominated the Biotite, were on Sunday last re.t
galed by the liberality of the Magistrates of the
County of Middlesex, with roast beef, plumb
pudding and porter. About 300 persons partici.
paled in this truly British cheer. The allowance
was one pound of beef, one pound of pudding,
as pound of bread, and of porter one last. We
should have been glad to have said quart, for after
swallowing three hounds of solids, one pound of
lekt—than which a pint of pokier weighs hut
little more, was au allowance somewhat too slen-
der for the occasion ; there is too this considers.
lion, that the Englishman loves his pipe and his
pint after he has satisfied the cravings of hunger.
The brig Industry was ireek•A en the night at
the 15th instant, near the Dursley Islands; oe
Wee men who were on Nord, every soul periehads
The crew consisted of dght men, and the ninth
was, as our information states, a Jewish Clergy. .„
Sao, who was passenger. Thie penult's chime-
ter was aseerteived by some kooks that were
picked up, one or more of which belonged to
hiss, and the remainder to the stow. The Jed •
&Wry was from Malta. a Joao- .
Ou Saturday night, as Mr. and film Goidesi *let
hens, of Bulton.street, Piccadilly, were returninf"
ato town from Walham-green, their ferriage was
Avertioned near the latter precei and Mrs. G. a
OM SO much bruised by the falling of tho •
coach, and cut by the glass, that she was eono.
yelled 10 remain at an inn on the road, and it nee
yesterday uut cousidered safe to remove her.

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