The Liverpool Standard, and General Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1854-08-15 00:00:00

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predations, an
called the Stew

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lis seat in Pi

Tam DIFFERENCE
Glasgow Herald, speaking of a deec

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He was not moi

respected in pubii

,ontempo
I its signification b_
" He was no more re.

ry, quoting the paragraph, has
a single

ly revers

ter, and w

than revered in private

A MISERLY CRIEE-JUSTICE.—JekyI
died of eating apple-pie crust at breakfa
expense of mnffins; and that Lord Ellenboron,,

id that Ken,

it, to save the

b, who

onseiyewnai

bowed with great reverence to-apple-pie
Jekyl, " we used to call apple pie-ty."
also told of how "the king used to play
sending the despatch box to him at
when he r.w Kenyon

The Princes

quarter past

_ was snug in bed; being
to go to bed at that hour to save candle-light.
Diary.

tecustome

'—Moore's

WANTED AN AIDE-DE-COLONEL.—There is a certain
reign officer who, being now, however, a naturalise

dividual, is eligible for admission into the British service,
and, as soon as a vacancy occurs in the 40th Regiment, we
recommend that it should be offered to him. We allude
to Major_ Beniowski, _ whose system of mnemonics, or

method of improving short memories, would render him a
valuable auxiliary to one of the members of that distin-
guished corps.—Punch.
CASES UNDER THE BRIBERY BILL —ls there anything
in the Bribery Bill to prevent a candidate from giving a
voter five guineas for a pair of gloves ? Does any clause
hinder the candidate from discounting the voter's bill ?
The bill having been discounted, is there any provision to
hinder the discounter from lighting a cigar with it. Does
the Bribery Bill prevent the candidate from paying the
voter a compliment ? Does it prevent the former from
paying the latter any attention ? Does it prevent the
candidate from paying his addresses to an elector's daugh-
ter ?—Punch.

THE TYRANTS OP THE HousimoLD.—There's no law
to control the king of the fireside. He is master of pro-
perty, happiness—life itself. He is free to punish, make
happy or unhappy, to ruin or to torture. He may kill a
wife gradually, and be no more questioned than the Grand
Seignior who drowns a slave at midnight. He may make
slaves and hypocrites of the children, or friends or free-
men ; or drive them into revolt and enmity against the
natural law of love. We have heard politicans and coffee-
house wiseacres talking over the newspaper, and railing at
the tyranny of Nicholas, who are themselves perfect tyrants
at home.

THE DOCTOR'S WAITING-HOWL—My recollections of
Sir Hygey Febrifuge are of a little gray-headed man who
was always in a hurry. He is still alive, I am happy to
say,—little, gray-headed, and as constantly in a hurry. A
man has a right to be in a hurry whose time is worth a
guinea a minute. He must be immensely aged by this
time, and must have earned an immense number of
guineas. Well can I remember the solemn, silent dining-
room in which I used to wait for audience with Sir Hygey
Febrifuge. There were two large dusky pictures in it;
the one representing the knight in his academical robes ;
the other a huge fruit and flower piece, with a lobster,
half-a-dozen oysters, a lemon with a long trailing rind, a
flask of wine, and a profusion of lucious pineapples,
cherries, grapes, roses, and vine-leaves. I used to look
upon these two latter pictures with a sort of vengeful
feeling, remembering how many delicacies had been for-
bidden me through the instrumentality Of the Faculty.
There was a massive sideboard; beneath which there was
a metallic monument, dreadfully like a sepulchral urn,
which I now know to have been a wine cooler, but which,
in those days, I firmly believed to contain the ashes of
dead patients. I can now see the dingy red drugget on
the floor, the green baize covered tables set out with
bygone annuals, defunct court guides, Adam Smith's
Wealth of Nations, Lord Kaimes on Criticism, and an
odd volume of the Annual Register ; the faded morocco
chairs; the double, crimson-covered, brass-nailed door,
that led into the doctor's sanctum; the silent nisitors
waiting, as I was, for the arbiter of health. Here, the
paralytic octogenarian ; here, the widow in mourning,
with her rickety child; here, the wounded officer from
India ; here the withered nabob, who had lost his liver,
and was come hither on speculation to ask Sir Hygey if
he had seen it by chance come that way ; here, the old
lady from the country, afflicted with nothing save a
plethora of money, and anxious to ask the doctor if it
were likely that anything would ever be the matter with
her ; there, the anxious father with his consumptive
daughter—the gentleman of small means who had been
painfully hoarding up his guineas that his child might
have the benefit of the great London medical man's
advice; there the young exquisite who had been living too
fast; the old exquisite anxious to die as slowly as possible;
the over-taxed student, who had gained his double first
and lost his health ; the popular actor beginning to be
nervous about his voice, and feeling a warning stiffness
and weakness in his limbs. Here they all were, mourn-
fully allent—wrapped up in their own ailments, or at best
speaking in stealthy whispers. Every now and then you
heard a silver bell tinkle, and saw the grave raven-hued
servant flit in and out ; and then the crimson door opened
noiselessly ; and when your turn came (if you had been a
duke you could not have gone out of it), you were
ushered into the presence of Siv Hygey Febrifuge.
Hetiohoki Word*.