The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-11-08 00:00:00

" My dear sir," said Tom, " I did not say the ball killed
the macaw, I said the macaw was killed ; but that was in
consequence of a splinter from an epaulement of the south-
east angle of the fort which the shot struck, and glanced off
harmlessly,—except for the casuality of the macaw,"
Moriarty returned a sort of grunt, which implied, that,
though he could not further question, he did not believe.
Under such circumstances, taking snuff is a great relief to a
man ; and as it happened, Moriarty, in taking snuff, could
gratify his nose and his vanity at the same time, for he sport-
ed a silver-gilt snuff-box which was presented to him in some
extraordinary way, and bore a grand inscription.
On this " piece of plate" being produced, of 'course it
went round the table, and Moriarty could scarcely conceal
the satisfaction he felt as each person read the engiaven of
his worth. When it had gone the circuit of the board, Tom
Loftus put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out the butt
end of a rifle, which is always furnished with a small box,
cut out of the solid part of the wood, and covered with a
plate of brass, acting on a hinge. This box, intended to
carry small implements for the use of the rifleman, to keep
his piece in order, was filled with snuff, and Tom said, as he
laid it down on the table, " This is my snuff-box, gentlemen ;
not as handsome as my gallant friend's at the opposite side
of the table, but extremely interesting to me. It was pre-
vious to one of our dashing affairs in Spain, that our riflemen
were thrown out in front and on the flanks. The rifles were
supported by the light companies of the regiments in advance,
and it was in the latter duty I was engaged. We had to feel
our way through a wood, and had cleared it of the enemy,
when, as we debouched from the wood on the opposite side,
we were charged by an overwhelming force of Polish lancers
and cuirassiers. Retreat was impossible—resistance almost
hopeless. 'My lads,' said I, 'we must do something novel
here, or we are lost—startle them by fresh practice—the
bayonet will no longer avail you—club your muskets, and hit
the horses over the nose, and they'll smell danger.' Phey
took my advice ; of course we first delivered a withering vol-
ley, and then to it we went in flail fashion, thrashing away
with the butt-ends of our muskets,—and sure enough the
French were astonished, and driven back in amazement. So
tremendous, sir, was the hitting on our side, that in many
instances the butt-ends of the muskets, snapped off like
tobacco pipes, and the field was quite strewn with them after
the affair : I picked one of them up as:a little memento of
the day, and have used it ever since as a snuff-box."
Every one was amused by the outrageous romancing of the
colonel but Moriarty, who looked rather disgusted, because
he could not edge in a word of his own at all he gave up the
thing now in despair, for the colonel had it all his own way,
like the bull in the china shop ;—the more startling the
bouncers he told the more successful were his anecdotes, and
he kept pouring them out with the most astounding rapidity ;
and though all voted him the greatest liar they ever met,
none suspected he was not a military man.
Dick wanted Edward O'Connor, who sat beside him, to
sing ; but Edward whispered, " For heaven's sake, don't stop
the flow of the lava from that mighty irruption of lies—he's
a perfect Vesuvius of mendacity.—You'll never meet his like
again, so make the most of him while you have him. Pray,
sir," said Edward to the colonel, " have you ever been in
any of the cold climates. lam induced to ask you, from the
very wonderful anecdotes you have told of the hot ones."
" Bless you, sir, I know every corner about the north
pole." . .

" In which of the expeditions, may I ask, were you en-
gaged ?" inquired Moriarty.
"In none of them, sir. We knocked up a little amateur
party, I and a few curious friends, and certainly we witnessed
wonders. You talk here of a sharp wind ; but the wind is
so sharp there, that it cut off our beards and whiskers. Bo-
reas is a great barber, sir, with his north pole for a sign.
Then as for frost !—I could tell you such incredible things of
its intensity ;—our butter, ,for instance, was as hard as a
rock ' • we were obliged to knock it off with a chisel and ham-
mer, like a mason at a piece of granite, and it was necessary
to be careful of your eyes at breakfast, the splinters used to
fly about so : indeed, one of the party did lose the use of his
eye from a butter splinter.
" But the oddest thing of all was to watch two men talking
to each other : you could observe the words, as they came
out of their mouths, suddenly frozen and dropping down in
little pellets of ice at their feet, so that, after a long conver-
sation, you might see a man standing up to his knees in elo-
quence."

They all roared with laughter at this last touch of the mar-
vellous, but Loftus preserved his gravity.

Seaman's Almanac. Published by Smith, South Castle-st.
A very useful almanac, for 1813—(how the years fiy on !)
—has just made its appearance, published by Mr. Smith, of
South Castle-street. From the preface we find that
" The times and heights of high water are calculated by
means of formulae and tables, which are deduced from 13,391
observations of the Tides at Liverpool, by the late Mr.
Hutchinson, dock master. The same tables are employed in
the Admiralty-office, in the prediction of the tides for the
Nautical Almanac,' and the `Tide Tables for the English
and Irish Ports.' In the calculations. 11h. 22m. is considered
the establishment of the port, and that transit of the moon
is employed which precedes the time. of high water about 36
hours, or when the moon is 20 deg. past full or change, and
the first or last quarters ; and a necessary correction has been
made for the parallax and declination of the sun and moon.
The most important feature in this Tide Table, distinguishing
it from the other Liverpool tide predictions, is that in EVERY
calculation a correction for the diurnal inequality in the height
of High Water, or, the difference between the superior and
inferior tides, is introduced as it is at Liverpool a quantity of
considerable amount. The argument for this correction is
the seventh transit of the moon preceding the time of high
water.

" The astronomical calculations are made in mean time,
for the latitude of Liverpool, except the tables of the sun's
declination, equation of time, and moon's southing, which
are computed for the meridian of Greenwich, and to ensure
correctness, they have been in most cases checked by sepa-
rate operations."
There is an excellent chart of the entrance to the Mersey,
and the contents are varied and of the most useful descrip-
tion of information.

Tait's Edinburgh Magazine, November, 18-12

Edinburgh, William Tait,

We should gladly at all times notice this periodical, be-
cause, however diametrically opposed to us in politics; its

literary matter is alway
so; and we say this, al'

.11ent. The present number is
i noticing it for the last time.

make this declaration now forithe
benefit of other publishers, as well as Mr. Tait—we cannot

We cannot—and

in future notice any serial publication which is not sent to us
regularly. We have received of this periodical,four numbers
within nine months, which are of course valueless to us ;
and, in a case where a publisher does not advertise with us,
we cannot devote our columns to a review of his publications
unless we have them sent to us in order as they come from
the press.

Bradshaw's Journal. Smith, Cleveland-square.
This admirable periodical is good as usual, full of well
written articles, bosh of an amusing and instructive character.
The Irish papers we find continued, and are replete with in-
formation and character : an original story, or two, will in-
terest the reader. The poetry is far above the common
order of things in general. The embellishments are also ex-
cellent. We can recommend Bradshavv's Journal to the
notice of our readers : it certainly stands in the foremost
rank of this class of periodicals.

Susan Hople,y: Part V. Tait, Edinburgh

This domestic tale is in the present numbe;;ncluded.
The moral of it is excellent, and shews that virtue in humble
life will at all times be rewarded. The characters are power-
fully drawn, and the interest kept up to the end.

What periodical paper has the greatest circulation?—The
income tax paper.—Pitnch.