The Statesman.
London, England, 1809-09-01 00:00:00

IRE LIND.

•
COURT OF CONSCIENCE-DUBLIN, Atm. 5.

RRE4CII OF RAT-CATCHING CONTRACT,

Doctor JOHN SA•AOZ, itinerant rat-catcher) and

WIFE V. J. WIIITCRA FT.

This, as stated by Mrs. Savage herself, was an
action of assampsit, on promise of paying 11. 2s.
W. for expelling all the rats out of the Defendant's
concerns in Meath.street, in that city; to which
he pleaded the general issue.
Mk: Dr. Savage stated the case as follows :
After apologising to the Court, in a very in.
teresting manner, for being obliged to occupy
its time by the particular statements which he
felt it necessary to wake, as indispensable to
his own honour as a Professional Gentleman,
he observed, that the Defendant had contracted
with• hies for the expulsion from his premises
of those noxious beasts called rats, which,
by his extraordinary skill, he completely ef-
fected—driving them all into the next house ;
that, notwithstanding this wonderful proof of
human ability, he, the Defendant, had refused
to pay him the trilling sum of one guinea, which
he had, according to his contract, bena7fidedlyi
agreed to pay fur the quantity of rat pills neces-
sary fur the great and important work. The
worthy Doctor then gave a short encomium on
himself...it was, he said, as modest as he could
afford. The Doctor co►►cluded by observing, that
it was of all tasks the hardest to speak of one's
self, and hoped the Court would make the neces.
sary. allowances.
Mr. ALLZT, who presided as sitting Magistrate,
after patiently hearing the Plaintiff, called on the
Defendant for his defence.

Mr, Whitcraft began by remarking, that he
was not endowed with either the Ulyssean wisdom,
or Ciceronian eloquence of his antagonist; but,
nevertheless, he would give an ingenuous statement
of plain facts. The Plaintiff, he said, had repre-
sented himself as a man of uncommon skill and
knowledge in the Black Art; that amongst other
things, his success in destruying rats was only cre-
dible un ocular demonstration ; that he had once
the honour to prepare, by particular desire, a rat
feast, at Lord Glandore's, in the county of Kerry,
at which his Lordship's servants, and a number of
oilier Fashionable', were present—and at which
I banquet several hundreds of those noxious creatures
fell; that he had obtained a regular diploma from
the King and Queen's College of Physicians in Ire-
land ; with other impressive representations, that
induced him to have a trial of the Plaintiff's skill.
The Doctor accordingly came, accompanied by his
Lady, Mrs. Dociress Savage; and having spread
his pills in certain magical directions on the parlour
fluor, he pulled out his square box of sand, formed
a horoscope, pronounced several cabalistic words,
fetched some deep groans, gave some talismanic
knocks on the door, and, finally, distorting his
countenance, and grinning like a Cheshire cat, he
exclaimed, " You are a happy, thrice hippy man !
your house is so swarmed with rats, both young
and old, that in a few days you should, together
with your family, have been devoured outright;
but, all's well—my art will overcome all ! Let no
one presume to enter this room till I call to-mor-
row." He accordingly came, accompanied, as
usual, by his sapient spouse—whom he sent in
first, to remove some of the pills, as was supposed,
and then introducing Defendant into the ruum, he
cried out, " Behold a miracle ! all's well, indeed!
Yes ! some of my pills, you see, have been bona-
.fuktlly taken. On my word and honour, confu-
sion to the rat will be in your house to-morrow—
for you will then, at twelve o'clock, see them
yourself all marching out, as 'twere rank and file,
two and two. In the mean time, let me have the
guinea, 'tis a small compensation, I have never yet
taken less than five." Defeudant, however, ex-
cused himself, by saying, he had nothing in the
house but bills—and the Doctor was reluctantly
compelled to depart without his fee. He, however,
called the next evening, when the Defendant
taxed him with imposition, as the promised march
,had not taken place. But the Plaintiff, deter-
mined, if possible, to get his fee, said the Defen-
dant mistook him—for he meant twelve at night;
and that, had he staid up, he would have seen
them marching out. The Defendant, however,
conceiving himself deceived, had lust all faith in
the Doctor's necromancy, and refused to give him
his fee. Tor nut rewarding him fur this foul de-
ception, Mr. Savage bad brought the present ac-
tion against the Defendant, with an effrontery to
be equalled by none but a rat-catcher. But De.
fendant said, he appealed nut to the laws of rat-
catching, hut to (huge of his country, and he
hoped they would compensate him fur his trouble,
vexation, and disappointment.
Mr. A LLZT, with his usual penetration, put
sonic questions to the Plaintiff, which he appeared
somewhat at a loss to answer ; among the rest the
Magistrate requested to see the diploma of m bids
ho had boasted ? The Doctor produced a slip of
paper, not supposing it would be examined. In
this, however, he was disappointed, fur, upon
inspection, it appeared to be a discharge from a
Gentleman with whom he had lived as servant.—
Plain ti ffs non-sifted.

On Wednesday, the Ifith ult. the annual meet.
ing of the Ross New Reedit% Society was held at
the King's Head ism, in that town, when nearly
1201. worth of hooks were disposed of to the re.
spective members. The excellence of this Sou.
sidling Institution will obviously appear, when it
is remarked, that for the annual subscription of
13s. only, all the members have a right to order
whatever books they please (professional ones
only excepted), and to the perusal of all hooks
ordered by the other subscribers. The privileges
of enjoying easy and cheap access to every valua-
ble publication which the English Press affords in
situations remote from all great towns, or esta-
blished libraries, is toduhvions and too great to
requite elucidation, but that this should be dune
at so small an expence, is admissible on elite r. i enet•
alone. We understand this Literary. Institution
commenced under the auspices of the Rev. Mr.
Thickens, of Ross, nearly twenty years ago, and
has remained under Ail direction cv Of Iliaah»-( Ile-
Word Journal.)