The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-12-09 00:00:00

VA RIETIES.

A BEERY BON-MOT.
Mr. B-I—y, the brewer, to every one tells
That he's better than Punch, because be X sells.
A CONNUBIAL COYUNTIRUM.

Fanny ask'd her mamma, as they came from the ball,
Why of lovers young ladies prefered the most tall?
" My dear," says mamma, " without telling a lie then,
'Tis because they're decidedly partial to Hymen."

THE PIIN GEOGRAPHICAL.
When Napoleon ordain'd that these isles be invaded,
The French line of coast was by Britain blockaded ;
And though each French captain did ardently pant
To sail out of port, John Bull said, " you shan't."
Thus the principal port where this happen'd, they say,
Is by mariners known as U.shant to this day.

Why is death abhorred by teetotallers ? Because it sends
them to the land of spirits.
INIPANTINE MOURNING.—" No school to-day ! no school
to-day !" exclaimed a merry young master," " with a
shining morning face," 'skipping gaily into the play ground,
" no school to-day—master's dead, and he going to be
buried."

In St. John's Hall, one day during dinner, therehappened
to be a great paucity of waiters. A gentleman, impatient at
the delay, at length exclaimed, '` Confound it, we can't get
a waiter." " The deuce we can't," exclaimed Mr. K., who
sat opposite, " I think we are all waiters!"

UNCLE AND NEPHEW :—OLD AND NEW TIMES.—AS
to my nephew's gold watch, it's like his impudence, when his
uncle have gone through life with a pinch-back—and what's
more, never had one at all till five-an-twenty ;—the cock was
my crownometer.';—New Monthly.
The failure of a person named Homer, once gave rise to
the following admirable puns :
That Homer should a bankrupt be
Is not so very ODD-D'Y-SEE,
If it be true, as I'm instructed,
So ILL-HE-HAD his books conducted.

A DILEMMA.—ChiId: Father, what is a dilemma? Fa-
ther: A dilemma, dear, is—a dilemma; when any one does
not know what to do, that is a dilemma. Child : Oh, yes !
I know, a dilemma is just like you when ma' scolds you.
: Ilem ! you talk too much, child:
THE VALUE OF MARRIED MEN.—" A little more ani-
mation, my dear," whispered Lady B— to the gentle
Susan, who was walking languidly through a quadrille. " Do
leave me to manage my own business, mamma," replied the
provident nymph ; I' I shall not dance my ringlets out of curl
for a married man." "Of course not, my love ; but I was
not aware who your partner was."
A HOAX.—A mesmeriser bas been enlightening the citizens
of Frederick, Md., during the past week ; but it takes a cun-
ning fellow to trick the people of that city. It seems that
they agreed to give the boy upon whom the mesmeriser
operated, fifty dollars, if in the middle of the experiment he
would get up and declare the whole to be a humbug. Ac-
cordingly •` at the appointed signal the boy awoke, rubbed
his eyes, and pronounced it an imposture."— New York
Journal.

TRADE WITS! CHIN A.—Expectation runs high • and
bright are thought to be the prospects of extended trade with
the Chinese millions ! A provincial wholesale shoemaker
rubbed his hands with glee. " Yon rejoice," said a friend,
" at the spur to trade the treaty with China will give ; but I
do not see how it will benefit you much." " Not see ? I
intend exporting largely." What—shoes ? Have you ever
seen a Chinese shoe ?" " Yes ; and I think I can improve
upon it."
A MILD WINTER.—SEVENTH DECEMBER.—The winter
season of the year 1818 was extraordinary mild. On the 7th
of December the gardens in the neighbourhood of Plymouth
showed the following flowers in full bloom, viz., jonquils,
narcissus, hyacinths, pinks, stocks, African and French mari-
golds, the passion flowers, and monthly roses, in full perfec-
tion, ripe strawberries and raspberries. In the fields and
hedges were the sweet-scented violets, heartsease, purple
vetch, red robin, with strawberry blossom, and many others.
The oak and the elm retained much of their foliage, and the
birds were sometimes heard as in spring.
TIIE PRESS.—The following toast was recently proposed
at a public dinner :—" May the Times be the Advertiser and
Herald of the best of News to the whole Globe, and particu-
larly to the subjects of the British Queen! May the Post
bring a courier with the Dispatch of lightning, at each rising
of the Sun, with intelligence to gladden Old England
May the British Standard ever be the pride of John Bull !
May benevolence, with Argus' eyes, see and Record this as
an Era of universal philanthropy ! May charity be an
Examiner into, and Observer of, poverty and distress !
And may the present Age be, as it were, a Tablet on which
each Spectator may gaze with delight, while every Patriot
shall for ever Chronicle the glory and liberty of the British
Press !

INTERESTING ANECDOTE.—At the triennial meeting of
the Salisbury Diocesan Church Building Society held last
week at Salisbury,the Lord Bishop of the Diocese said,
there was an anecdote
church at Whitchnre Cconnected with the building of the
'onicorum, which he could not for-
bear relating ,—" The
(said his lordship) was first proposal for this undertaking
made to me soon after I became
bishop by a farmer in that neighbourhood of the name of
James. He was a man not of the more opulent, rather, I
believe, of the humbler class;toio nor did either his appearance
or manner indicate any
found in his sphere of life. rfutstilipeerior to that ordinarily
and felt deeply the privation
under which he and his family hisneighbours laboured
of
in their separation from the House God, and the means of
to
grace provided therein. He lamentedsee many around
him falling into ungodliness and disregard of all religion—
others supplying the want for themselvesinainomination of
irregular man-
ner, by forming conventicler of one or other
dissent. His heart was stirred within him to
l his
: nei
by any means this want could be removed. lie exerted
if
a
him-
self anion: those with whom he was connected and
bours generally, and obtained promises of assistance to h.
considerable extent. He came to me at Salisbury from the
.vith him a map of
drawn by
further part of Dorsetshire, bringing .vith the
parish and of the neighbouring himself
very clearly and accurately, in order to demonstrate the want,
and a subscription list amounting to X-100, raised by his al.
most unaided efforts ; and, indeed, in the face of the oppred.
tion of some, from whom he might naturally have expected
encouragement and help :—and to this he had himself con-
tributed the sum of £5O. I think lam stating these things
correctly, but I am speaking only from memory, and after
the lapse of some years. There were greater difficulties to
be surmounted than I have ever known to occur iti any simi-
lar case—legal and technical objections of various kinds, con-
sents necessary to be had, but impossible to obtain—so that
in spite of my best efforts, the business made no progress for
nearly two years; but still this earnest minded man was not
disheartened. lie wrote to me from time • to ti •
me. He came
once to London to see me on the subject. He said he would
draw stone and begi b .Id. himself, •. n al ing it I would only pro-
mise to consecrate the building when • I raise( . At length all
obstacles were overcome, and the building was commenced,
and advanced rapidly towards it,
mysterious Pr • ovidence ( f the Almighty it was not to be per-
mitted to its aealous projector to see the labour of his own
hands, to rejoice, in his work.—He was taken ill and died a
short time, I believe a few weeks only, before the termination
of that work which he had so long and so earnestly desired
to behold. But were his efforts therefore
rather was his work finished,
and e thrown away ? No :
was taken to his reward ;
and if he was not allowed to worship courts of Go
d's
tabernacle
tabernacle on earth, may we not hunalall
in purer worship and in more joyful strains in
that he joined
company of the saints who rest in the Loridn,s,,in the blessed

' •

?~ }.

THEATRE-ROYAL, LIVERPOOL,

THIS present FRIDAY EVENING. the oth taut,
For the BENEFIT of Mrs. SEYMOUR
and the Last Night of her Engagement,
LOVE'S SACRIFICE.
A GRAND DIVERTISE3 'NT.
AND
THE YOUTHFUL QUEE .
SIGNOR HERVIO "ANO,
The most Extraordinary Performer in the World,
IS ENGAGED FOR FIVE NIGHTS,
And will make his First Appearance in Liverpool,
On MONDAY NEXT, the 12th instant, •
In a New Drama, constructed expressly to display his won-
derful powers, called
THE GNOME FLY,
In which he will successively embody the semblance of
A GNOME ! A BABOON ! ! AND A FLY ! ! !

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

" W. T." shall appear if possible on Tuesday

The lines by " N. R." will not suit us.
Several other correspondents are postponed for want of

space.
" Vindei" gives us credit for " politeness and gallantry,"
but he cannot suppose us possessed of much prudence, or
good sense, if he imagined for a moment we would give in-
sertion to his letter.

The letter of "A High Churchman" will be forwarded in a
good direction. It is not advisable at present to give much
publicity to the interesting question to which our corres-
pondent refers.

We still receive a number of letters advocating the propriety
of Monday, the 26th instant, being fixed upon as a day of
rejoicing for the late victories. Our London contempora-
ries,•we perceive, are also pressed on the same subject, but
appear to express no opinion of their own.

Ebr -Ztherpool &tanbarb.

FRIDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 9, 1842.

It is really refreshing, in wandering through the
columns of mingled stupidity and hypocrisy which
emanate from the scribes of the anti-corn-law party, to
meet occasionally with a word or two of truth, how-
ever unconsciously uttered. -This satisfaction we
experienced in reading the oracular and profound
sayings of the Manchester Guardian of Saturday last;
and, as we are not selfishly disposed, we shall endea-
vour to share it with that portion of the public who
look to us for amusement or instruction.
It is well known with what extreme sensitiveness
our free traders shrink from the imputation that, in
seeking for a reduction in the price of food, they seek,
in fact, for a reduction in the price of labour. The
admission that such is a part, at least, of the result
which they have in view, would seriously damage
them in the confidence of the working classes, as well
as in that of a large portion of the middle classes, to
whom the interests of the working man are dear; and
it is, therefore, scarcely matter of wonder that, in dis-
cussing the question of free trade in corn, the bearing
of that question upon wages is sedulously shunned.
The truth does, howthr, occasionally ooze out. The
very cleverest people are not always guarded in their
expressions ; and accordingly we find our astute con-
temporary, the Guardian, thus betraying the secret, so
earnestly sought to be kept from the notice of the
working classes.

In an article addressed to the editor of the London
Times, and attempting to prove that, with a free trade
in corn, no portion of the soil will be thrown out of
cultivation, the Guardian proceeds :
" When food is cheap, the expenses of farming, leaving
rent aside, must be very much reduced. What are the chief
items of a farmer's expenditure in the cultivation of his land ?
Labour, manure, and seed. Is not the cost of these articles
chiefly regulated by the prices of agricultural produce ? and,
if s9.,;why should cheapness of food have any tendency to
throw land out of cultivation ?

The cost.of labour is " chiefly regulated by the prices
of agricultural produce" ! So says this eminent anti-
corn-law authority. So have we said a hundred times.
Even the agricultural labourer—the poor hedger and
ditcher—is to have reduced wages with his cheap
foreign loaf; and we ask the working classes who
have that delusive good—a free trade in corn—held up
before their eyes, as the panacea for all their sufferings,
to reflect whether the benevolence, which sees in the
promised boon of cheap provisions an instrument for
procuring cheap labour for the farmer, is not prepared
to carry out the same principle to every operative in
every branch of our native industry.
The cost of labour is "chiefly regulated by the prices
of agricultural produce" ! In the name of the work-
ing men of England, we thank the Guardian for the
admission.

We proceed now, in pursuance of our promise, to
deal with the Journal's explanation, with respect to
" the probable extent to which we shall exchange manu-
factured goods for corn." Perhaps the most impor-
tant question to be solved by the free trader is the
question before us ; and we therefore give our contem-
porary's solution of it, entire.

" We should import as much corn as we could consume ;
we should pay for it all ultimately in manufactured goods, as
we do now; but we should much more seldom have to make
sudden exports of specie, to be got back circuitously, than at
present, because, let the harvest be ever so deficient, there
would be no racing, at all risks and at any price, to catch
the averages ; but there would be the whole year before us
to bring our supplies from the cheapest markets—which are
always the most distant—where there is the greatest demand
for our manufactures, and, consequently, where the balance
of exchange and of freights, which is one great element in
mercantile cheapness, is in our favour.
" In regard to specific pecuniary amount, it is difficult to
answer this question. To the colony of Australia, an agri-
cultural colony, whose great article of produce, wool, we take
freely, and to any extent, we export at the rate of about £l5
per annum for each individual. To Canada, whose corn and
animal food we have not yet taken very freely, we export to
the amount of about £4 the head. The United States are
certainly as wealthy and productive, in proportion to popu-
lation, as Canada ; and as their means of buying of us would
be precisely our power of consuming, at such a price as
would pay for transport of what they could produce, the
limit to the export of our manufactures and the import of
food would he the excess of our industrious population over
that which could, in our home market, exchange manufac-
tures for wheat at the rate of 455. to 50s. the quarter, which
is about the rate at which it can be, on the average of years,
imported from the United States."

In the first of these paragraphs there is a mixture of
truth and of fallacy. We should, as the Journal says,
import "as much corn as we could consume." We
should perhaps " pay for it ultimately in manufactured
goods," as he admits "we do now." Upon his own
sheaving, here, there can be little increase in our export
of manufactures to arise from the establishment of a
free trade in corn. We import at present as much as
we require : and if we admit that " as much as we can
consume" is a larger quantity—if we admit that, with
a free trade, our importations will increase--such in-
crease can only be arrived at, to any material extent at
least, by a decreased production by the British farmer.
The substitution of a regular for a fluctuating trade
would, therefore, he the amount of benefit upon which
the Journal calculates.

We should, however, have, he proceeds, " the whole
year before us, to bring our supplies from the cheapest
markets—which are always the most distant." We
have already expressed a doubt about the correctness
of this position—that the most distant are the cheapest
corn markets. We doubt whether the United States
can in average years compete with the nearer markets
of Europe ; and until we see something like proof
offered in its behalf, we cannot permit the Journal to
take for granted that this is a true position.
The second paragraph, our contemporary must
permit us to say, is somewhat obscure, and especially
the latter portion of it, There is no fair conclusion to
be drawn from the examples which he states. There
is no anology between the amount of money value per
head, which we export to Australia or Canada, and
that which the establishing of free trade in corn would
enable us to export to America; for by his own ad-
mission, our imports from one of the countries referred
our
to--Australia—can be taken " to any extent," whilst
import of corn from the United States, or from
any other
quarter, must of necessity be limited by
circumstances. We can see that our contemporary
has felt the difficulty of, satisfactorily to his own party,
replying to this part of the case put to him. He sees
that what the vague declamation of platform orators
has represented, as a boon unmeasured in extent, is
really measured within much narrower limits than they
; and we much fear—and, in
would have us believe
that fear, we are strengthened by the unintelligibility
of the last dozen lines of the passage quoted—that he
scarcely dares himself contemplate the real meagreness
of the advantages for which agitation contends so
fiercely. _ . _

The difficulty of the journal is the difficulty of all
who strive to keep in the background the bearing of
the question of cheap food upon wages. He content-

s.~l>T

, • N

'

•