The Statesman.
London, England, 1821-01-29 00:00:00

THE SIXECURIST.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE STATESMAN. '
Sta—When I first contemplated offering to your
Paper the following whimsical but true story, my in-
tention was to present it to you merely as an extraor-
. dioary anecdote. But, Sir, the subject is so connected.
with the tines, and excites so many curious and feel-
ing eacollections—suggests so many curious specula-
• tiens and prophecies, I cannot resist the temptation
of indulging in a few observations by way of Prologue
• to my Draws. Should I weary you a little in the coin-
menceinent (for in south I sin but a bad moralist), I
can almost venture to promise I shall make you and
your readers laugh heartily before the curtain drcips.
When the man of sense and feeling mellows into the
philosopher, how his opinions change! how different
are his inclinations and his vies's! how different are
hi• decisions on human characters and upon human
transac`ions, from what they were in the days of his
inexpetience. The blase of youth burnt down, then
shines the sober light of wisdom, free from that inter-
mitting sash and smoke that gild the fancy and ob-
scures the
.judgment. That which in the glow of boy-
hood excited his raptures, now excites his disgust.
'these objects that by the delusion of this glaring and
unsteady light he beheld as objects of wonder aod ad-
miration, he now beholds in their real deformity, un-
til at last the purified judgment subsides into a reties-
tile amitsemtut at its own /timer errors, and into a
contemplative pity for human vanity and human ab-
surdity.
Apoongst the many objects whose deformity is gild-
e9 by the delusive light of youthful admiration, but
whicycily the testof sober experience, soon changes into
tarnished and disgusting trumpery, is that most osten-
tatious—that must whimsical—that most extrsordi-

n.i!y creature produced by our most erinseroble politi-
cal arstent called the " SINCCURIST"—to the eotratry
au Object of universal abhorrence, but to me an object
• of the greatest possible amusement ; for this reason—
nothing iu this world is to me so amusing as " mock
consequence," as a well performed harksgse. It is so,
" Toro Tliuusbish." Is it not highly amusing to hear
those " noodles and doodles" calling each other " my
Lord ?" To see sweepers, searchers, packers, rummagers,
constables, and prison-keepers, like; showmen at a fair
" porfoirising" Earls, Viscounts, and Honorable'."—
Laugh, oh, most certainly, or I don't know what's
comical. Some men may grieve to see those moths
and caterpillars of corruption assuming to be "
Pra-
e4sa of Me State," to see them crawling—to bear
them buzzing at Court in embroidered clothes, and
chilling to repose with their delightful hum of " Loy-
/Ike—the Monarch they surround and plunder, and
degrade, whilst truth and honor—genius—virtue may
not approach the portal of his Palace, though they
perish with the injuriel committed upon them by that
Monarch's aorvants, lest they incur the insolence of
the Porter, or the ferocity of the Sentry. But laugh
must 1, for I have often laughed before to see the
" mock" importance of those creatures, yawning and
stretching on the benches of the Senate, miserable
Cyr use word of coottuould of "Tbe Master," that they may
give their "aye or ov," and go to the club-house or the
banquet, full of ignormice, and covered with contempt.
Heavens, who would be such a creature for a pension
or a chariot—no man of feeling--no mall of sense.
I thiuk I may safely prophecy that the present
generation iv the lest of the " Sinecure Family." The
grub that destroys the plant must perish with it.
Lithos' things which I have described be galling
to tnankind, how amusing must it be to the insulted
" itimple" to behold a" great awe a" SIN ICI:RI:4T."
one of the " Upper ('lasses" marked out by Providence
as an object of public scorn and derision. Now comes
tlie time to laugh.
. .

Behold, Mr. Editor, a Sinecurist at Bath, and only
liiilik.of those wretches the " mobile."
By the admirable regulations of Bath, certain ranks
of persons are precluded from admission to the public
fawns, such as " Performers," Officers de Police, by
the disloyal,' blasphemously and seditiously called
Constables," and all those persons holding DEGRAD-
so offices, such as the aforesaid " Searchers, Packers,
Rummagers, Turnkeys, Informers, Spies." To pre-
serve those assemblies from the invasion of such dis-
reputable gentry, the must severe laws have been not
wily enacted, but are strictly and impartially like oar
Laws performed. And it is a part of the Constitutiou
of those assemblies, that if any r.ubscriber prefers an
impeachment against the rank of a person present
contrary to this etiquette, the master of the ceremonies
as the King of Bath, is obliged to try and deter-
snipe the Question, and if necessary, to enforce
the sentence of the law, which ii—grpitition from
the Rooms. That is, Expulsion from
At an aazembly in this elegant and tenacious city
one of t-hose consequential Noodles, 'ycleped " a Sine-
curist,", was started by a Wag—sot a disloyal, but
by a revengeful Wag, wheilbbk upon poor Me.. Sine-
curist a most humorous, but, oh ! a most mortal re-
sen4e—a revenge right worthy of the noble cause of
their enermigsatiors. •
A dipipased young fellow
.of"dash," who had
been more than once committed .hy " filthy boot-
inakersltrnd rascally tailors" to the custody of the
Marshall of the King's Bench, west fortunately for
him "Mr. Swett," stumbled against a certain mighty
important Mamas keeper of a Prima, within whose
dismal walls the degraded hero had been so cruelly
immured. Now was his time fur retribution—now,
now was We time fur vengeance. Providing himself
with a faithful and sympathizing comrade who also
most mortally hated your "infernal prisons," and
" damnation turnkeys," he took the Master Of the
Ceremonies aside, and with a ssyaggering appearance
of offended pride ,sad of determined authority, de-
stiande.i to.kuow " If J•mitas were admitted to.the
roo:ns". " Jimmie" excialineri Mr. King,. with mese-
ment and hprror. "slati.nas," oh, Sir, nsost unquestion-
ably Nos. Then Sir, said the complaisant, if I point
oat to }miss " slati.oa," will you do your drity?—Be-
yond a doubt, said his Majesty. "No Jatt.nals here."
The woitlof Majesty passed, be was witted through
the crowd by Messrs. "Swell," to the nalusilowed,
spot, where sat is all his glory "Mi. Noodli.4
be is, " said the lofty informant, ?Muting 10 I
Mr— the Marshal of 'the_ Maimed this
electrified—Lord, sir, said he, in an atirithaod tone,'
that's Mr. —, a man of the eery heat raft•and too--
sequence. 4,A Jamas" Sir, a" JAILoa." tegliist
hero, with s brow that was sot tb be Mita ifi.tha
voice not to iats‘cositracted, and ill awattititit *4l
the strife."

.

, • .

A trial was demanded••--was
Swnt.e.s" were in anus agningt " J
declared azainrt the FLEE r and the
in riga contended by the poweriti
mighty great man, that he was ik or what be
That Le was on Lir aAI EMI ticr—but a man of rank--
furtane--fashion-- -nobly born—splendidly cottnideil
----as M. P.---a Privy Conncellor,---proprietor of a b.-1
rough, and el ptent..e. 7he authorities of Bath, strict-
ly and impartially adhering to their laws. deeided—
that the Mr asitst. of a l'risoa was • JAILOR, and
thereby dioinalifiell from being admitted among Gen-
tkmem. Ile wrs accordingly expelled Bath.

P. S. Such trials of Etiquette are very frequent at
&th, and very seldom terminate without half a dose°
duels.

K. Wilson, Sir T. Winnington, Aid.
*. B. Wall, W. W. Whitmore, Charles
-Viscount Duacannon and Lord A. Hamilton.
Plumer, Owen Williams, and L. White.
FOR THE STATESMAN.
TO THE EDITOR COURIER.

Sta—lf it were possible to conceive that the favo-
rite vehicle of ministerial virtue was in the interests
of the opposition, the extraordinary nature and ex-
tent 9f your services would nnquestionahly sanction
the surmise. But 1 freely acquaint you of any such
duplicity; the treachery is too dishonorable for they
opposition to propose, if it be not too degrading for
The Courier to accept. The ministerial Journals are'
all eingulas ly productive of advantage to the cause they
would condemn, but they are not all equally entitled
to our thanks; however paradoxical it may appear,
they really merit our acknowledgements in proportion
to their virulence of abuse. The mock Times in
courtesy concedes the precedence to The Pori, which
more justly yields the creditable concession to yourself.
Permit sae therefore, in acknowledging the favors
so freely conferred, to request the kind continuance of
your powerful support.
The effective strain of eloquence which a Clessieel
education and a highly cultivatedfsuscy have enabled
you to acquire, renders your oratory perfectly intelli-
gible to the profleieets of else vulgar lover, whose
ignorance you so unbrotherly take a pleasure to revile,
and whose respectability you impotently describe by
the illiberal appellation of a mob.
In those licensed houses of festival resort, where
comfort is chiefly distributed by the dram, your paper
would be read with all the unextinguishabk thirst for
literary elegance, if it were not for the principles that
pervade i t. '

Satisfied with acknowledging the effect you have
produced, I shall abstain from passing any unfeeling
encomium upon the intention of your conduct, lest the
compliment should be offensive to your modesty, or
troublesomely painful to your conscience.
There is, Sir, a happy fatality attending the work-
ings of evil, by which the most strenuous exertions
of iniquity are proportionably made subservient to the
interests they would oppose. The evidence of Majocchi
recoiled upon himself. Demont damned the cense
she was brought forward to support ; while the inven-
tive scurrility of the Corrier, has sanctified the inno-
cence of the Queen.

But I have almost lost sight of my original purposes,
and wander from my coarse, as though, like yourself, I
was defending an untenable position. It is my inten-
tion, Sir, to delineate the characteristic features of a
Journal which is under the especial patronage of all
the virtues of the Cabinet.

A charitable consideration for the feelings of the
Editor, induces we to be scrupulously careful In the
utterance of my thoughts, though that system obliges
me tacitly to reflect on the conduct he has thought
proper to pursue. I shall, in consequence, describe
the Journal I allude to by a —, which while it ac-
curately illustrates the ininence it peewees is happily
descriptive of the honesty which conducts it. Por
scandal and calumny, this paper ranks moat meritori-
ously high. Unblushingly it stands upcn its black
pre-eminence like Swam un the meant, and tries by
smooth hypocrisy to tempt the son of miens to sin.
That equal success may attend its Anti-Christiau exer-
tions is, I trust, the intention of heaven as it is the
warmest wish of every pious and patriotic heart.
This paper, Sir, is too deeply steeped in vice, to be
ever, I fear, reclaimed to virtue. 1 shall therefore as-
sume the character of a Judge, who inflicts a public
punishment upon a hardened criminal, and holds up
depravity in warning examples to the world.
This Journal invents what he falsely terms facts,
argues most prfAandiy upon ridiculous surmise, and
laughs equally at reason and its readers. When hotly
attacked by his opponents, he evades them by the ce-
lerity of his flight, and cares not with what dishonour
be escapes. Like a canker-worm he revels on the bloom
of the constitution, forgetful that his safest and pro.
per province is the rirtshcll. "He prefers darkness
rather than light," and with a worse intention, basely
undermines a fabric like the mole. 1 must here apo•
lugise fur inserting a short quotation, which is, how•
ever, illustrative of the sense I would convey :
The slow blowing Cereus droops in the Sao,
And blooms in the darkness of night ;
So vice is usfurl'd in a gloom of the world,
And shrinks at the glimmer of light.
Then learn while you may,
That virtue's our stay;
Like the bloom of a dower, vice withers away.

This is precisely the case with the drooping Journal I
describe ; but I disdain to exult on the falling for-
tunes of any one, especially when that one is almost
beneath the dignity of notice. The patrons of this
paper, Sir, are enemies to the liberty, but friends to
the licentiousness of the press. Yet, I would have
them know, through you, if you hove the hone► of
their orisaixtuseer, that that valuable species of free-
dom resembles somewhat a tennis-ball, which not
nafregnently rebounds upon the hand upraised to burl
it to the ground, and always rises the higher, the more
violently it is struck. By the defeat of Hone, liberty
became more glorious than before. and rely upon it.
Sir, it will weer the more proudly assert its sacred
rights in proportion as it is oppressed by the fearful
meanness of authority.

A word or two now to yourself, Sir, you cannot for a
moment suppose that these observations are in any
way applicable to you.
The STATIMMAN, I perceive, in his coleuses of
Thursday, very correctly condemned the indecoroes
address of the Clergy of Durham, and passed no un-
merited censure on yon for advocating such an Anti-
Christian cause. I will not dive into the dark recesses
of your mind, to seek the motives which inflame, your
conduct. I might, perhaps, more easily discover,
them in the costly
.pitie which graces your groaning
sideboard. I must, however, in sincerity assure you,'
that your friends lament while your mosaics @welt at
your depravity.
Individually, I am neithet the arms nor the other,
'bat I promise you I will oppose the email.s of freedom
as long as the blood flows pure within my veins, or
while ink con describe the blackness I dcest.
Report, Sir, says, that the arms of Englaad adore
414 ernametsts of your table. If that be the case, I
regret for the- sake of the human character, that gra-
tkade did sot ladies you to be more respectful to per-
sematid royalty, though I am far from skiakiog that
say aimless could Lan Ws se advantagmas to her
nue as die hoe palm Nought roper to adopt.
TUIG IN IVS.

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Qrtjt AltattOntatt.

" TNII ISITISSI STATISSIAII Is INCOI
STAttsitAK."

WITII " in

LONDON:
mormay EVENING, JANIWILT 29, 1821.

From the wanner in which Lord A. HAMILTOiIeI
motion, in the Howie of Commons, was got rid of se
Saturday morning, it had been 'apposed by seem the
the subject of it si ould be resumed at the next meet-
ing of the House. The adjournment carried was, her•
ever, not that of the debate, but of the House ; in other
words, the vote of censure proposed ou Ministers for
the omission of the Qualm's name in the Liturgy, oil
dismissed by deciding not to bring it into question.
This was undoubtedly a strange mode of seta*
an important Feint that required a clear sad so-
quivocal determination ; and it is sot sarpriolof
that it should appear ambiguous to some, sad emelt-
factory to many. But it was an adrantarese
of managing the matter en the part of Ifisisters; for
as the object of the motion was not directly to Ali"
the restoration of her Majesty's name io the Liturgy,
which would have called forth the decision of all who
were convinced of the impolicy and injustice of tit
'proceedings evilest the Qualm, but referred to
period wbea the Ministers were unaware of the extent
of the wrongs and 'mischiefs they were cmormitti*
the ambiguous decision which the Home was
reefed to make, gave Ministers the benefit
every wavering vote, and the support of all vie
might from charity excnee the impressions gait
which they bad acted in the commencement of Or

odious business. A main point remains, therefore,
be tried ; and, notwithstanding the majority oil tbe
last division, we cannot imagine that al who vela
in it, can, if they have regard to a sense of 6114
aad wrong. or to the sense or peace of the roust*
refuse to crone in an Address for the restoration, Rev.
of her Majesty's Darnels the Li targy, and the complissre
with her other claims. Except in point of numbers, tbs
decision on the previous jaestibn was to Ministers bit
little triumph. As to advocates as well as argosies.
they were unusually weak. In evidence of this tb.
exaltation they expressed at the support of Mr. Al•
demon Hafil•Ta was not a little reantskalde. As+

THE STATESMAN.
inatituo4l--" ibd. W. Williams, Sir
aluoss,"--s et-, as Wood N. •trill,l',
le MINCII. It It as Wetheretl
ii moods
of aria Telle
pairedorffsziriac
wuisipmh

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