The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1842-09-09 00:00:00

hi.; 1400 tnifitish 4M, 411 4 big 4r b.4frlo PrOs
tfigiespf his hiptdmain, as ho osil:d it, pulled gut W 3 stgpol
and hagae to work away like a weaver, while every pew and
then he d—d the bellows-blower for not giving him wind
enough, whereupon the choristers would kick the bellows-
blower to accelerate his flatulency. Well, sir, they were in
the middle of the service, and all the blackguards making the
responses in due season, when, just as Tom was quivering
under a portentous grunt, which might have shamed the
principal diapeson of Harlaem, and the subs were drawing
out a resplendid A—a—a—men, the door opened, and in
walked a smart-looking gentleman, with rather a large nose
and quick eye, which glanced round the office, where a sud-
en endeavour was made by everybody to get back to his
place. The smart gentleman seemed rather surprised to see
a little fat man blowing at a desk instead of the fire, and long
Tom kicking, grunting, and squeeling like mad. The bel-
lows-blower was so taken by surprise that he couldn't stir,
and Tom, having his back to the door, did not see what had
taken place, and went on as if nothing had happened, till the
smart gentleman went up to him, and tapping on Tom's desk
with a little riding whip, he said, I'm sorry to disturb you,
sir, but I wish to know what you're about.'
" We're doing the service, sir, said Tom, no ways
abashed at the sight of the stranger, for he did not know it
was Sir Arthur Wellesley was talking to him.
" Not the public service, sir,' said Sir Arthur.
" Yes, sir,' said Tom, as by law established in the
second year of the reign of King Edward the Sixth,' and he
favoured the future hero of Waterloo with another touch of
the organ.
" Who is the head of this office ? ' inquired Sir Arthur.
" Tom, with a very gracious bow, replied,' lam princi-
pal organist, sir, and allow me to introduce you to the prin-
cipal bellows-blower,' and he pointed to the poor little man,
who let the bellows fall from his hand as Sir Arthur fixed his
eyes on him.
" Tom did not perceive till now that all the clerks were
taken with a sudden fit of industry, and were writing away
for the bare life ; and he cast a look of surprise round the
office while Sir Arthur was looking at the bellows-blower.
" One of the clerks made a wry face at Tom, which showed
him all was not right.
" Is this the way His Majesty's service generally goes on
here? ' said Sir Arthur, sharply.
" No one answered ; but Tom saw, by the long faces of
the clerks and the short question of the visitor, that he was
somebody.
" ' Some transports are waiting for ordnance stores, and
I am referred to this office,' said Sir Arthur ; can any one
give me a satisfactory answer ?
" The senior clerk present (for the head of the office was
absent) came forward, and said, ' I believe, sir,'—
" You believe, but you don't know,' said Sir Arthur ; so
1 must wait for stores while you are playing tom-foolery here.
I'll report this.' Then producing a little tablet and a pencil,
he turned to Tom, and said, Favour me with your name,
sir.'
" I give you my honour, sir,' said Tom—
" I'd rather you'd give me the stores, sir.—l'll trouble
you for your name.'
" Upon my honour, sir,' said Tom again.
" You seem to have a great deal of that article in your
hands, sir,' said Sir Arthur. You're an Irishman I suppose.'
" Yes, sir,' said Tom.
" I thought so. Your name.'
" Loftus, sir.'
" Ely family ?'
" No, sir.'
" Glad of it.' He put up his tablet, after writing the
name.
" ' May I beg the favour to know, sir,' said Tom, to
whom I have the honour of addressing myself ? '
" Sir Arthur 'Wellesley, sir.'
" Oh, J—s !' cried Tom, I'm done!'
" Sir Arthur could not help laughing at the extraordinary
change in Tom's countenance ; and Tom, taking advantage
of his relaxation in his iron manner, said, in a most penitent
tone,
" Oh, Sir Arthur Wellesley, only forgive me this time,
and 'pon my sowl,' says he, with the richest brogue, I'll
play a Te Deum for the first licking you give the French.'
" Sir Arthur smiled, and left the office."
" Did he report, as he threatened ? " asked the Squire.
" Faith, he did."
" And Tom?" inquired Dick.
" Was sent back to Ireland, sir."
" That was hard, after the Duke smiled at him," said
Murphy.
" Ah, he did not let him suffer in pocket ; he was trans-
ferred at as good a salary to a less important department ;
but you know the Duke has been celebrated all his life for
never overlooking a breach of duty."