The Statesman.
London, England, 1821-06-11 00:00:00

THE STATESMAN,

Till: STAGE.
itt.l4B TIM " PLIMELAII" DIANA, ALIAS THI " PIE-

BENT $(:1101:L."
TO TIIE EDITOR OF TILE STATESMAN.

Ste—lt is but a few days since I sent von certain
lines, entitled, the Thespian Monarch's, or "
LAO" Managers' Invocation to NovELTY. The paper
I wise present you. is that Lady's reply ; whii.h. as well
as the other, was stolen from the study table of his
Majesty by my secret informant. This paper is not
like the last, in his hand-writing; hut is, I understand
from my little Ariel, in the band-writing of his Chief
Secretary, otherwise " Mindy Itaout.sa," Who with
his usual skill in " RYIECT," has arranged it (no
doubt for record) in its " Present" Esvagisite Dra-
matic Shape.

TUE 1111SPONNE OP NOVELTY
TO Tis TIOSSPIAS 110,41•SCIrS INVOCAII3OI4 OS PRAYER.

[Soft Music is heard—after which, a most tremendous
crash, as when a Spirit appears at a " REGVLEE"
Theatre.l
(Enter DEMI NOVELTY. She add . s his Majesty.)
Thy pray'r is heard. Afore thee see.
Great Thespian King, Over-: Voyeur,—
With glitt'ring robe of every dye
That run delude an audience rye;
Deceive the judgment—and the sight
like looking on same dazzling light ;
Coaroun -till sense can scarcely see
•Whether Ile a►nres--or
•tojestl prostrates himself before her, and kisses
the km of her garment."J
tlreat king of tinsel—hare I not,
To 'triton's stage, successive brought
Each thing that from the Drama can
litclude the riralship of—mss.
Dog, horse, and stag, and mg, and mo•tse,
•Cat, rat, and goose—could draw a—••
hessr "
That could dethrone the tyrant nine,
And make their sceptre-7111.1e and mtsz !
Till ready 's eery bard. e're wrote
A 4TERLING play. to est hi4—throut ;
:And eery bard that ever means
To try his pen —blase out his hrains ?
[ll's Majesty prostrates himself with additional exstacy,
and exclaims with transport—" vov usvc."]
What have I not, to please thee, done!
Rejected seasr,—■eeepted F t s ;"
Dubb'd dunces, authors, punsters, wits—
Frighten'd §DAME NATeIIE Into fits ;
Discarded every thing hut— tRT.—
Encouraged glare. rim! stare, and start,
And rant, and attitude. and roar—
Dear to the clap—and the —encore.
Delightful clap and encore, dear
To each vain-glorious actor's ear,
As is to scandal's ear—a lie.
To envy's is —scurrility.
Dear as to most on gala night,
Tile song of mischief —" light--light —keit !"
And to the ear of glazier's boys,
The broken windows' rattling noise.
Dear as to Patriots' the—.short ;
Or uproar's to a—rabble rout.
[She raises the Monarch an I embraces him. 11.• bands
her t 3 a chair. Tney both sit. j
itilave I not dull blelpomene
Duet taught to sing, sad vice ;
And saucy Miss Tualia made
To flirt in dirge and seronide.
Shakespeare " arranye.l" to Horn and Reek ;
Beaumont and Fletcher to—Toot Cook.
The rakish Farquhar luade to speak
In cadence soft—and tende • sq:teak.
Author and actor sent adrift,
For/at, and sharp, an I sheg.r, aid AO.
And, with a magic fisldfestick.
Pitch'd Mount Parnassus to—Ott, Nice'
[She hums several Sceri airs. Ile admires her gar-
ments with great attention, and seltit.: them into
various folds and draperies ; after which she rises.]
Care not for type, or pro. a fig—
Persist in cal-tonet and jig.
Persist, I say, and right, or wrong,
Turn every author into song.
Whilist " bones" and orders lust. your doors
Opt. wide to Dandies, Sweils and ---
Nor care though virtue, taste, and sense
Fly In contempt and horror—hence.
Persist, though each •• P►ar•uayen" be
The ridicule of the O. I'.
Though ev'ry ►wangled poet's name
Excite the eaclaination—" 'Aortic"
And MAStOER becomes a—rereleh
As much detested as—••JAcw Km* ! !.
Persist. I say. Depend on PM—
Your most oberlicni—NOl EI.TY ! !
(A tremendous crash sit ibUiCal Instruments.)

[Exit ix a blurt.
li.

• The dazzle is nearly over; tinsel, foil. and spangles
can blind no longer.

t The memorable " Piece" of " Pars in Boots."—
Orimaldi was dressed up as an old Buck Cat. forgot who
playeJ the Rat ; but I suppose it was Urinal 11. jun. This
Piece" lasted an Act and • quarter, and wa, then most
uproariously damned.
Better for a rational Author to blow out his brains, rvan
semi a MS. to such creatures as the Regi!ara.-

§ The Actors sicken et the word • N Art 4E. 03 . Sir,
it would not do Now. N Art HI 1.14 not •• (Artier." There
nothing '• efferlirc" but ribiddry and distraction.; sod
the " .llelodiows iklodg of the • -
II 'rinse twelve line% are a taitatul description. of the
" Present School." l always dreaded that the Olipers.
Reynolds's, Morton's. de. de. &e.. puren.led soinething
horrible to the Stage. Tuose horrors, I thought. were real-
ized when we were visited by their sucerssors, the •• Pre-
sent" tleneration ; but Oh ! that Shakespeare, Otway,
Beaumont and Fletcher, should be gi!,heted es they
are, nightly, never could have entere.l my imagination.—
What's to come nest—Pt•Nen and Jt nv ?

•• The •` Rrgnlar Managers" of this deittaded city.
ought to he " Regularly.' burnt in elligy; by this gentleman.
I ant told• Lady Macbeth and Relridei a, with songs."
are in preparation. Nothing more likely ;—the !titulars"
must be Crazy.

Nove.—ln the " btroviica," is the following
couplet, to which I did intend to alba i Note, but I
forgot it :
And etch monopolizing elf
Who'd the WHOLE play prform himself ;*'
I did intend to say, that I suppose this couplet does not,
include Mr. Manno.s; who is, I not afraid to
Ann, the very beer Advr in gneland; for which rea-
son, no boubr, lie his been banished trion the " Re-
gular Drama, ' The best AcTitass I have sees since
Mrs. Jordaa, is Mr.l. ALsor, who is for Ler•disloyal
attachment to Nutare, nu exile also. The whole sys-
tem of Managers seems to be to insult the Public, and
persecute every Actor. or Actress that is a favourite
with the torts. . •

NNW POOR-LAI, BILL.

The plan adopted of remarking on the nature of the
New Poor-law Bill, on presenting the Ntitions which
are furnarded against it from various quarters ap-
pears. by what took place in the House of Commons
on Friday, to give umbrage to the advocates for the
pending measure. For our part, we rejoice at these
preliminary discossions, both as they tend to develop.
the tendencies of the Bill which had previously
been little contemplated, and to excite the attention
and feelings of the House and the country upon the
important points in question. At the earliest stage of
the proceedings on the measure, our readers will re-
meruher, we took occasion to deprecate the haste with
ivhieli they appeared to be carried on. We wished
ere public to have time to deliberate on the revoltrion
that was meditated in our social system. Time has
been obtained ; and the consequence has been that
the strongest objections have been made from most of
our manufacturing and populous districts against the
Bill, not only on account of its pernicious operations
on the interests of tua•ter manufacturers, but on the
interests and comforts of the labouring in them-
selves. In a former paper, we took occasion to state
the sentiments that prevailed in a large manufacturing
city in the East of England; at present we shall pre-
sent those that come from the west. " We know not,"
says an intelligent writer of Bristol, " what may be made
,of this Bill in the Committee, nor pressed rapidly on
as it is, can we wait to set if it be subjected to altera-
tions of any kind ; should any, that are material, be
•ade therein, they will become subjects for futnre eon-
sideration ; hut material alteration cannot be made
without getting rid of the principle of the Bill. As it
at present stands, then, the objects to be effected
thereby, are threefold.

" First, to limit future
raised in the past year.

its to the amount

Secondly, to prohibit relief from the poor-rate to
any person, who shall be unmarried, at the time of
passinz the Act, fur himself or any part of his family,
unless arch poor persoo shall be actually at the time
of asking relief, by reason of E;e, sickness, or bodily
iofirodity, isnab!e to obtain his livelihood, and to sup-
port his family by work.
Thirdly, to prevent the removal of any poor per.
son from the parish in which he may become charge-
able.

The tWO first provisions are evidently founded on
those accommodating principles of that modern school,
which most unfonndedly and presumptuously imputes
to the effects of the present Poor-laws the conse-
quences of a wretched and mistaken system of Go-
vernment, artfully apologising for political abuses,
and coolly sacrificing at the shrine of power the prin-
ciples of humanity, the natural and legal rights of
the poor, and the real and permanent interests of so-
ciety. Why are the Poor-laws complained of, but be-
cause they have become burdensome, and in souse
cases almost intolerable, charges on property ? Why,
hut because the rates collected for the relief of the
poor, have enormously increased in modern times;
and because, if they progress as they have recently
done under the administration of Pitt, and Percival,
and Sidinoutls, and Liverpool, they threaten, and
speedily too, to eng►ulph the whole of that portion of
the landed property of the country which taxation
has yet spared. But there was s time when the same
law•, and the same claims of the poor, were sot bur-
densome ; for more than a century they did no per-
ceptible injury, they threatened no destruction to
property, they excited no apprehensions. In another
century ti.e charge for the poor advanced, but how
and why, It advanced from a comparatively insig-
nificant amount ty degrees, and replier& As THE
EXPENAVI OF THE i;OVERNMENT ',ultra's's. With
the beginning of the funding system it began to move
forward, at first slowly, in the sow aekmewledged road
to ruin. .

With the progress of that fatal system. and with
the debts in which by means of it the nation became
involved, the p)or-rates kept a well proportioned pace;
till, at the beginning of the late reign, the taste for
wars, and concomitant and consequent loans, and
fun ling, and deb , became indulgei in on an enlarsed :
and extended scale. The Americans must be taxed
without representation ; this project issued in the loss
of a portion of the Empire the largest and most co-
paid • of re-production ; and this loss was purchased
by the sacrifice of thousands of human beings, and of
three hundred millions of British money. This dear
purchase did not, however, long repress the war
mania. In 17911. for the restoration of a race of
kings that had always been the enemies to British
freedom, British turtle, and true British a oar
was entered into which has cost the nation fifteen
hundred millions of money, enlarged its debt to eight
hundred millions, and increased its paupers to two
millions and a half. With these patriotic proceedings
the poor rates have increased in faithful proportion,
'till, from 1,7211.316 f. at the beginning of George
the Third's teign, they became, in 1781, 2,167,7491.;
in lsor.l, 5,348,205/.; and in ISIS, 7,063,ti99/.!
Thug, true as the needle to the Pole, the amount of
•the burden of poor-rates is regulated by the euaount
of the debt and taxes : increasing with their increase,
growing with their growth, till together they at this
um.,nwtit exhibit the heart-rending spectacle of industry
sinking under the burdens of taxa•ion, and pro-
perty exhausted by the expense of maintaiuing the de-
pendant puo,-.
The proper, if not the only, effectual cure for this
enormous evil is veryevident; a retrospect of the man-
ner in which the Po .r-laws hare be:otne so barthen-
some points it out to the meanest capacity. But no,
say the apologists for lavish expenditure of public
money ; if the evil be to be charged to that account,
rather than remedy the evil by insure of the comae,
perish the pour of England: perish those poor-laws
'which Blackstone asserts are " founded in the very
pritscipkt of civil aoci. ey ."' perish reform! We have
not at pretest, the tines, nor, as our readers will pro-
bably think, is ibis the place. to enter into as full a
discussion of this interesting question as it merits, but
we cutout conclude our cursory remarks on these two
provisions of Mr. Scarlett's Bill, without noticing
that they bear manifest marks of that suicidal policy,
which *mks to reduce the population of the country
under the pretext of increasing its strength, at the
very moment when the farmers cannot Bud purchasers
for their produce! The other chief object of the
pending Bill is for abrogating the present Laws of
!allotment. The operation of this clause in the aim
Poor-law Bill would afect a sadden and arbitrary al.