The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1844-06-25 00:00:00

SELECTIONS.

INCIDENTAL SCRAP OF DOMESTIC HISTORY.—" Isn't
true!" cried Mrs. Gamp. " True! Don't I know as
that dear woman is expectin' of me at this minnit, Mr.
Westlock, and is a lookin' out of a winder down the
street, with little Tommy Harris in her arms, as calls me
his own gammy, and truly calls—for bless the mottled
little legs of that there precious child (like Canterbury
brawn his own dear father says, which so they are)—his
own. I have been ever since I found him, Mr. IA estlock,
with his small red worsted shoe a gurglin' in his throat,
where he had put it in his play, a chick, wile they was
leavin' of him on the floor a lookin' for it through the
'ouse and him a choakin' sweetly in the parlour !"
Martin Chuzzlewit.

BRUMME LL IN THE 10TH HUSSARS.—Brummell,
though an elegant appendage to the corps, was too much.
about the person of the Prince to be a diligent officer.
The result was, that he was often too late on parade, and
did not always know his own troop. However, he evaded
the latter difficulty in general by a contrivance peculiarly
his own. One of his men had a large blue-tinged nose.
Whenever Brummell arrived late he galloped between the
squadrons till he saw the blue nose. There he reined up,
and felt secure. Once, however, it happened unfortu-
nately that during his absence there was some change
made in squadrons, and the place of the blue nose was
shifted. Brummell, on coming up late, as usual, gal-
loped in search of his beacon, and having found his old
friend he reined up. " Mr. Brummell," cried the
Colonel, " you are in the wrong troop." " No, no,"
said Brummell, confirming himself by the sight of the
blue nose, and adding in a lower tone—" I know better
than that; a pretty thing, indeed, if I did not know my
own troop !" His promotion was rapid ; for he obtained
a troop within three years, being captain in 1796. Yet
within two years he threw up his commission.—Black-
wood's Magazine.

DEATH SCENES OF REMARKABLE PERSONS.—Mary
Scotland's frail beauty, met the "gloomy king" with a
degree of resolution not to be expected from her misfor-
tunes, so numerous were they ; deserted by every friend
except her faithful little dog. Sir Thomas More remarked
to the executioner, by whose hands he was to perish, that
the scaffold was extremely weak. " I pray you see me up
safe," said he ; " and for coming down let me shift for
myself." Chaucer breathed his last when composing a
ballad. His last production is called " A ballad made by
Geoffry Chaucer, on his death-bed, lying in great pain."
" I could wish this tragic scene was over," said Quin the
actor ; " but I hope to go through it with becoming dig-
nity." Petrarch was found dead in his library, leaning
on a book. Rousseau, when dying, ordered his attendants
to remove him, and place him before the window, that he
might look upon his garden, and gladden his eyes with the
sight of nature. How ardent an admirer he was of na-
ture, is poetically told in Zimmerman's Solitude ! Pope
tells us he found Sir Godfrey Kneller (when he visited
him a few days prior to his end) sitting up and forming
plans for his own monument. His vanity was conspicu-
ous even in death ! Warren has observed that Chester-
field's good breeding only left him with death. " Give
Drysdale a chair," said be to his valet, when that person
was announced. Boyle, when dying, pointed to where his
proof-sheet was deposited. Clarendon's pen dropped
from his hand when seized with a palsy which put an end
to his existence. Bead died in the act of dictating. Ros•
common, when expiring, quoted from his own translation
of the " Dies Irfe." Haller, feeling his pulse, said,
" The artery ceases to beat," and immediately died.
When the priest, whom Alfieri had been prevailed on to
see, came, he requested him " to call to-morrow ; death,
I trust, will tarry four-and•twenty hours." Nelson's
last words were, " Tell Collingwood to bring the fleet to
au anchor."

SINGULAR MODE OF DUELLING.—Among the Don-
golavi, I found a very singular custom prevalent for set-
tling their affairs of honour, as they are termed. These
are, generally, disputes arising from love or jealousy, at
which the young unmarried men have taken mortal of-
fence. The married, who certainly have better cause for
duelling, never proceed to such extremities; they are far
more tolerant on the like occasion, and not very particu-
lar about such trifling affairs. The young men, on the
other hand, take these things more to heart ; when,
therefore, the friends have not been able to adjust the
quarrel, a formal challenge is sent. The duel takes
place in an open space, in the presence of all their friends
and comrades, who act as seconds, or rather as umpires.
An angareb (couch) is placed in the middle of the field of
battle : the two combatants strip, and binding their shirts
round their loins, each places his foot to the edge of the
couch, the breadth of which simply separates them from
each other. A whip, made of one solid thong of the hide
of the hippopotamus, is handed to each, and attempts to
reconcile them are again resumed. If both parties, how-
ever, prove obstinate, or their sense of honour be too
deeply implicated for either to yield, the signal of battle is
at length given. He who is entitled to the first blow, now
inflicts a severe one on the body of his adversary, who in-
stantly returns the compliment, and thus the conflict is
kept up, blow for blow, with great regularity. The head
must not be struck. The manner in which they lacerate
each other is perfectly frightful; for the blows are dealt
with the utmost severity, and the weapon is sufficiently
formidable to form an immense echymosis with the very
first stripe, with the third or fourth blow the blood begins
to flow most copiously. Not the slightest expression of
pain is uttered by either party, and the umpires remain
cool spectators of the scene. Thus, the duellists perse-
vere with their barbarous cruelty, until the one or the
other, overcome with pain, or exhausted with fatigue,
throws down his whip, whereupon the victor does the
same, and both shake hands, in sign of mutual satisfac-
tion. Their comrades now rend the air with their ex-
clamations of joy, at their reconciliation ; their lacerated
backs are washed with water, and the affair terminates
with a copious libation of merissa, sundry jugs of which
bad been provided beforehand for the occasion.—Asiatic
Journal.
DANGEROUS MODE OF HUNTING.—The howdah ge-
nerally is made something like the body of a phaeton.
The sportsman sits in the front seat, and on each side of
him are two divisions for the butts of his guns, the barrels
of which rest upon a kind of splash-board in front, in
which grooves are made to admit them. There is a door
on each side of the front seat, which is secured by strong
iron hooks. In the seat behind a native is placed, whose
business it is to hold an umbrella over his master's head.
Some people have their guns loaded by these men ; but I
should decline trusting that operation to a native. The
howdahs thus described are liable to many objections.
The doors weaken the frame very much, and frequent
accidents have occurred to sportsmen when leaning over
the front piece to get a shot, by its giving way, and pre-
cipitating them into the jaws of the infuriated animal. An
accident of this kind occurred to an officer when lion-
shooting. The front of his howdah gave way, and he fell
close to the lion, which immediately seized and walked off
with him. I do not exactly know how he was rescued
from this perilous situation ; but he used to tell the story
at mess, and amuse every body very much by the quaint
way in which he related it. I was worse off than Da-
niel," he used to say, "for Daniel was in the lions' den,
but, by Jove, I was in the lion's mouth." When in Cal-
cutta I saw another officer who had been carried off by a
tiger, and was only saved by his extraordinary presence of
mind. I believe he also fell into the jaws of the brute by
his howdah giving way • bunisosrver that was, the tiger
seized and carried him off. werer afraid to fire
at the beast, lest they should kill the officer. Fortunately
he bad a brace of pistols with him; and, while the tiger
was taking him away, he drew one and discharged into his
body. The only effect which this produced, was to make
the savage beast clench his teeth still deeper into the flesh
of his victim and growl with rage. But one chance now
was left, and our friend resolved to make the best of it.
By getting firm hold of the long hair about the neck of
the animal, he managed to work himself round in the
tiger's mouth, so as to be able to feel with his hand where
the heart of the monster beat strongest, and firing his re-
maining pistol in that place, killed him on the spot. His
friends attracted by the shots came up, and found him
senseless, and the tiger dead. The gentleman recovered,
however, but was always lame, from the dreadful lacera-
tions he had received.—Greenteood'a Narrative of the
Campaign in Arghanietan.

A DUTCH SERPENT-FANClER.—Everything of the
serpent kind he has a particular fancy for, and has always
a number of them, that he has tamed, in his pocket or
under his waistcoast. To 101 l back in his rot•king-chair,
to talk about geology, and pat the head of a large snake,
when twining itself about his neck, is to him supreme
felicity. Every year, in the vacation, he makes an excur-
sion to the hills; and I was told that, upon one of these
occasions, being taken up by the sage-coach, which had
several members of Congress in it going to Wa,hington,
the learned doctor took his seat on the top with a large
basket, the lid of which was not over and above well se-
cured. Near to this basket sat a Baptist preacher on his
way to a great public immersion. Ili, reverence, awaken-
ing from a reverie he had fallen into, beheld, to his unut-
terable horror, two rattlesnakes raise their fearful heads
out of the basket, and immediately precipitated himself
upon the diver, who, almost knocked off his seat, no
sooner became apprised of the character of his ophidian
outside passengers than he jumped upon the ground with
the reins in his hands, and was followed instanter by the
preacher. The " insides," as soon as they learned what
was going on, immediately became outsides, and nobody
was left but the doctor and his rattlesnakes on the top.
But the doctor, not entering into the general alarm,
quietly placed his great coat over the basket, and tied it
down with his handkerchief, which, when he had done, he
said, " Gendlemen, only don't let dese poor dings pite
you, and dey won't hoort you."—Featherstonhaugh's
Excursion.

Rise OF M. JAQUES LAFFITTE, THE BANKER.—
When M. Laffitte came to Paris in 1778, the extent of
his ambition was to find a situation in a banking-house,
and to attain this object he called on M. Perregaux, the
rich Swiss banker, to whom he had a letter of recom-
mendation. This gentleman had just taken possession of
the hotel of Mdlle. Gurmard, which had been put up to
lottery hy that lady and won by that fortunate banker.
It was to this charming habitation, which has since been
demolished, that M. Laffitte paid his first visit in Paris,
and, as it were, took his first step in the Parisian world.
The young provincial—poor and modest, timid and anx-
ious, entered by that gateway which had witnessed so
many of the gaieties of the last century. He was intro-
duced into the boudoir of the danseuse, then become the
cabinet of the banker. and there modestly stated the
object of his visit.—`• It is impossible for me to admit you
into my establishment—at least, for the present," replied
the banker ; '` all my offices have their full complement.
If I require any one at a future time, I will see what can
be done ; but in the mean time I advise you to seek else-
where, for I do not expect to have a vacancy for some
time."—With a eisaepointed heart the young aspirant
for employment left the office, and while with a down-
cast look he traversed the court-yard he stooped to pick
up a pin which lay in his path and which he carefullf stuck
in the lappel of his coat. Little did he think that this
trivial action was to decide his future fate, but so it was.
—From the window of his cabinet M. Perregaux had
observed the action of the young man. The Swiss banker
was one of those keen observers of human actions who
estimated the value of circumstances apparently trifling
in themselves, and which would pass unnoticed by the
majority of mankind. He was delighted with the con-
duct of the young stranger. In this simple action, he saw
the revelation of a character ; it was a guarantee of a love
of order and economy, a certain pledge of all the quali-
ties which should be possessed by a good financier. A
young man who would pick up a pin could not fail to
make a good clerk, merit the confidence of his employer,
and attain a high degree of prosperity.—ln the evening
of the same day, M. Laffitte received the following note
from M. Perregaux :—" A place is made for you in
my office, which you may take possession of tomorrow
morning."—The anticipations of the banker were not
deceived. The young Laffitte possessed every desi-able
quality, and even more than was at first expected. From
simple clerk, he soon rose to be cashier, then partner, then
head of the first banking-house in Paris, and afterwards,
in rapid succession, a deputy and president of the Coun-
cil of Ministers, the highest point to which a citizen can
aspire. On what a trifle does the fortune of a man some-
times depend ! But for the simple incident of the pin,
M. Laffitte would, perhaps, never have entered into the
house of M. Perregaux; another employer might not
have opened to him so wide a field of action, and his
talents and intelligence would not have led to such mag-
nificent results.

I AM THE KEAN !—On a certain evening, shortly after
his memorable debilt at Drury Lane, Kean, accompanied
by his old and faithful ally, Jack Hughes, dropped in, or
rather dropped up (by way of catachresis) at Offley's
premier etage, the cider-room. in Henrietta-street, Co-
vent Garden. Ensconced in a snug corner of the apart-
ment. the two friends were enjoying their " nip," and as
the conversation of the room was a right of common, they
felt themselves no trespassers in nipping up the pastur-
age also. As it generally happens, in places of this kind,
there is one certain personage who usurps the lead on all
topics—one, who would teach Hannibal the art of war;
so was the case at this period, at Offley's. This indivi-
dual was a Mr. Watson. or Wason, a red-headed whole-
sale tobacconist, and a charlatan " warranted town made."
But Watson was a man who might have called Junius
Brutus himself a pretender, for Watson was really a fool.
At the court of Offiev, however, he had obtained the
Cordon bleu, and had a considerable tail, though there
was not a wag in it. Watson, who knew the movements
of the town far better than the Morning Post, had al-
ready enlightened his auditory on the intrigues of Lady
Douglas, in the case of the Princess. when he led the con-
versation, not unnaturally, to the subject of the new actor
at Drury Lane. "It is true enough," said he, stirring
up the flaming forest which grew upon his pole, " Dr.
Drury brought him to town. He talked with me on the
subject—in fact, we went together into Dorsetshire to see
him act. I shall never forget Kean's gratitude when we
proposed his appearance at Drury Lane." Here Kean
thrust himself forward like a ferret, gazing at the head of
the speaker in perfect wonderment; and the " blood-red
knight" proceeded—" I saw him to-day in Cecil-street—
he is in the very ecstasy of triumph—and well he may. A
nice child, his son ; but I am afraid my friend has some,
thing yet to learn." " How?—what is that?" demanded
the whole tail at once. " Why, he thrashes his wife,"
replied the oracle, with the aspect of a red Indian ; " ' and
he who raises his hand on a woman, except in an act of
kindness, it were base flattery to call a coward.' " A. mur-
mur of applause followed this dramatic scrap, when Kean
having quickly passed from a ferret into a tiger, was only
withheld by the gripe of Hughes from springing on the
carrotty tobacconist. The dealer in Virginia still went
on :—" This was his," said he, carelessly, as he pulled
from his pocket a little chased snuff-box,—" this was
Kean's—a slight token of his obligation for me, as he was
pleased to say. I carry it for his sake." "Da you, by
the gods !" exclaimed Kean, and darting from his cor-
ner, he grasped the slight token from the table, and
hurled it through the window-glass into the street. Con-
sternation seized the tobacconist, as though Cuba itself
had heen suddenly swallowed by the sea; but up rose his
tail, like a waterspout, threatening annihilation to the un-
daunted little actor, who stood with his arms folded, like
a stone terminus on a parapet. "I am Edmund Kean l"
exclaimed he, grinding his teeth. " Slanderer! for the
first time behold him ! lam the Kean !" The whole
West Indies seemed now in a state of insurrection. The
company rushed in a body towards the sturdy tragedian,
and verily believing him to be an impostor, notwithstand-
ing the humiliation of the wholesale dealer, assailed him
with violence, and finally expelled him the house. Little
Hughes came in for his share of the bounty, and with a
shoe less than he entered the apartment, accompanied his
friend, to finish the evening, and consult future proceed-
ings, at No. 21, Cecil-street.—Ainsworth'a Magazine.
NECESSITY OF PAROCHIAL SUBDIVISION.—Again, it
is distressing to behold, in another case, all the affairs of
so large a district controlled by a mob. If, anything
to be done, a public meeting is called, which, from
the great number of persons entitled to attend it, must
be held in the body of the church. Here all kinds of
ribaldry pass current, all manner of uproar goes on ; and
the decisions obtained are, for the most part, as might
reasonably be expected, at the very antipodes of common
sense. Meanwhile, other districts are left, under some
depopulating causes, till perhaps only a remnant of the
inhabitants remain. And here, for want of a " public
voice," all is tyranny, or peculation, or private jobbing.
And what necessity is there for all this ? Is the remedy
so difficult to discover, or so hard to apply? Would not
a Board, properly empowered, (whether a new one, or
one of those already in existence,) easily subdivide large
parishes, or unite small ones, without any serious hin-
drance from minor difficulties. Until this is done, we
must expect to have masses of the people untouched by
' their pastors, and sinking daily lower in discontent and
vice. Nor will the mere permission or power to subdi-
vide parishes in certain cases, be sufficient. The necessity
is greater. We want the evil removed at once, and that
effectually. At this instant we behold the control of the
two most wealthy and populous parishes in the whole
metropolis,—Marylebone and Pancras,—left absolutely
in the hands of radicals and enemies of the church. And
this arises solely from their immense size. Divide each
of them into thirty parishes, as they ought to be divided,
and in the greater portion sound and wholesome princi-
ples would prevail. But, at the present moment, we find
the managers of both these parishes constantly at war
with their pastors ! While in one of. them it has recently
been shown, that the poor women in the workhouse are
forced to make shirts for the alopsellers, receiving as their
payment, (whatever the parish authorities may receive,)
nothing more than one farthing per shirt ! Parochial
subdivision, then, or rather, a reorganization of the peo-
ple, we place first in order, because only through that do
we arrive at efficient means of Church Extension and Na-
tional Education. The minister of a
parish of 2,000 or
3,000 souls may know something of his people, individu-
ally; but what pastor can profess, or even hope for, the
least personal knowledge of the population of such parishes
as Shoreditch or Spitalfields ? All this, however, relates
only to the means, and the end remains to be considered.
We must make and keep clear
ithe necessary chan-
nels first, when our object is toirrigate the meadow.
The water may be the main essential in a canal;
but before we can make use of water, the bed of the canal
must be excavated and prepared, and the necessary locks
established in their places. We may, indeed, establish a
school for a thousand children in Spitalfields or in South-
wark ; but if it be not a parish school,—if it be merely a
great place open to all corners, no one knowing
hencewhee
the children come, or whither they go,---vve have
vast spelling-factory after all, and little more than the
name of " education" can belong to such a plac. Divide
the whole kingdom into parishes of proper size—none
exceeding 2000 or 3000 in population, and the first step
is really and rightly taken. CHURCH EXTENSION then
comes in, in its just and proper place, and with its lawful
and unanswerable demand. " Here are so many hundred
or thousand new parishes, in each of which there is no
church, and no school." We should know at a glance
the real state of the case, and the whole cost of supplying
the deficiency. The minister who would thus grapple
with the question, even if he went no further than to
ascertain and exhibit the want, would deserve the grati-
tude of his country.—Remedies for the Perils of the
Nation.

THE AFRICAN GUANO ISLAND, ICHABOE.—The island
whence the guano is taken is about three miles from the
shore, on the south-west coast of Africa. It is a barren
rock, about a mile in circumference ; has no soil, or the
least sign of vegetation. The guano lies to the depth of
about twenty feet, and without any variation in quality.
The continent is very sandy, and in high winds (hurri-
canes for instance) will cover a shin's deck nearly 100
miles from the land. The birds o❑ the island are a kind
of penguin, and cannot fly to any distance, if at all, their
wings being a kind of fin. It is believed that the captain
of the vessel (said to Mr. Parr, of the Anne, of Bristol),
who brought the guano, was the first human being who
set foot on the island, which is very difficult to approach,
there being no harbour and a heavy surf. On walking on
it, he could scarcely set his foot without treading on the
birds, and they took no notice whatever of him, except
pecking at his feet, he being barefoot ; and on a gun being
fired, they merely fluttered a good deal, and made much
noise. There is no fresh water, it is believed, for some
hundreds of miles along the coast, and no rain.—Edin-
burgh New Philosophical Journal.
EFFECT OF SECULAR EDUCATION IN SCOTLAND.—
Scotland is the great example to which the advocates of
secular education constantly point, as illustrating the effect
of intellectual cultivation upon the character of mankind ;
and boundless have been the eulogiums pronounced upon
the moral virtues, steady character, and provident habits
of that once held the most intellectual portion of the Euro-
pean population. Doubtless, as long as Scotland was an
agricultural or pastoral country, and education was based
upon religion—when the school-house stood beside the
church, and both trained up the same population, who
afterwards were to repose in the neighbouring church-
yard, Scotland was a virtuous country, and its population
deservedly stood high in the scale of European morality.
But since manufactures have overspread its great towns,
and a population has grown up in certain places—educated,
indeed, but without the means of religious in•truetion, and
almost totally destitute of religious principle—the character
of the nation, in this respect, has entirely changed ; and it
is a melancholy fact, that the progress of crime has been
more rapid in that part of the British dominions, during
the last thirty years, than in any other stale in Europe.
It appears from the evidence laid before the Combination
Committee, last session of parliament, that the progress
of felonies and serious crimes in Glasgow, during the last
sixteen years, has been, beyond all precedent, alarming,
the population having, during that period, advanced about
seventy per cent., while serious crime has increased five
hundred per cent. Crime over the whole country is ad-
vancing at a very rapid rate, and far beyond the increase
of the population. In England, the committals, which
in 1813 were 7164, had risen in 1837 to 23,612—that is to
say, they had tripled in twenty-four years. This advance
will probably be considered by most persons as sufficiently
alarming in the neighbouring kingdom, but it is small,
compared to the progress made by Scotland during the
same period, where serious crimes have advanced from
89 in 1805, to 3418 in 1838 ; being an increase in four-
and-thirty years, of more than thirly-fold.—Alison on
Population.

WORKING OF THE NATIONAL SCHOOLS.—Tbena-

tional schools have taught their scholars immorality ;
hence the demoralization of the rising generation. The
very calling together so many low-born children daily,
without some plan being first laid down for a moral guar-
dianship over them, justifies the assertion, that they are
taught immorality, and I will add (for I know it) crime,
at these establishments. There is nothing of a mental
nature performed in them : a hundred boys at one time
are taught to bawl out L-o-n—lon—d-o-n—don, London,
with a few more words, which leads them in the end to
learn just enough of reading to enable them to peruse a
twopenny Life of Turpin, or Jonathan Wild; proceed-
ing to the lives of the bandits in regular course : when,
with this, and they have taught each other such matter as
they all gather from their honest and virtuous parents,
their education is completed, they being fully qualified to
figure on the pave as pickpockets. It needed not inspira-
tion, nor prophetic powers, to see that the Lancasterian
schools must necessarily become participes criminis
in disorganizing the relations of society : the very
locale of the plan does it. * * * From
the national schools, I never yet met with a lad
who had the least notion of any self-exercise of the mind.
A good and rigid system of moral education is the more
needed for the children of the poor, as the habits of their
rarents are generally opposed to good example. At an
early age they are carried to a public-house, filled with
low company ; swearing and drunkenness is always before
them ; no habits of frugality are taught them ; and when
money is obtained, luxuries and drink swallow up all in
one day, reckless of to-morrow. Often without any home
but the tap-room, or, if a home, no fire or parent to share
it with them till the middle of the night, who, returning
in a state of intoxication, only increases their misery, and
further vitiates their morals. Such is the condition of
nine-tenths of the national-school boys. Poverty com-
pels the labourer to perform that duty which is essential
to the well-being of the whole nation. Poverty, there-
fore, is not the evil, but indigence and debasement which
leads to crime. In the Lancasterian schools, not the
slightest effort is made to excite or exercise the mind;
not one moral axiom is inculcated ; no precepts of prin-
ciple are instilled into the mind ; all is mere rote and
mechanism ; their scholars offer to the world the most
extraordinary collection of tyros in crime ever seen or
heard of in the history of it.—Old Bailey Experience.

THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD.