The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1844-05-21 00:00:00

EXTRACTS FROM PUNCH IN LIVERPOOL.

ELECTION PLACARDS.—Punch begs to offer his ser-
vices in this line to the two candidates for this division.
The only one as yet issued, and which must have excited
the admiration of all observers, is of his composition.
The motto is exquisitely simple, being,
" VOTE FOR BROWN,
PEACE,
AND PLENTY !!"
_ .

a most taking invitation, which ought to convince any
body of the particular advantage of Brown over any other
colour. if this, however, were not seductive, the wood-
cut, in which a figure of Mercury is represented, blowing
his own trumpet, and getting browned by the smoke of a
factory, whilst he pours, in return for the kindness, a
heap of dollars down the chimney, together with other
figures of ships, corn, reapers, bales of goods, &c., intro,
duced to shew that free trade is to bring all these com-
modities into the locker of the said Brown, must clinch
the matter. Punch has a number of other designs ready,
amongst which are the following—
" Vote for Brown Bread,
And Plenty of Workhouses for the Farmers!"
Or, another of well-known efficaceousness, viz.,
" Ships. (A 1, Americans,)
Colonies, (destroyed,)
And Commerce, (with the Returns in
Pensylvanian Bonds.)"

FASHIONABLE MOVEMENTS.—On Friday last, Punch,
accompanied by his brother, Mr. Chichester Punch, and
a numerous suite, crossed the river to inspect Jackson-
city and the works going on in the neighbourhood. On
arriving at George's Pierbead, one of the steam-boats be-
longing to the commissioners of Birkenhead was in attend-
ance, with their legal functionary, to receive the distin-
guished party. During the passage, Punch feeling his
nose cold, ordered a cigar and a light; but was informed
by an amphibious officer on board, in the dress of a police-
man, that no smoking was allowed unless by the chimney,
which was privileged to smoke when it liked. Having
landed, Punch was received by a number of the com-
missioners, who pointed out to him the various land
speculations in which they were engaged in the neighbour-
hood of Wallasey Pool; but Punch observed that the
land looked very like mud. Before leaving, the freedom
of the city was presented to him by one of the commis-
sioners, neatly enclosed in a patent coal box, and enve-
loped in a number of the proof sheets of a pamphlet de-
scriptive of the city and the new docks. On his return to
town Punch came by way of Birkenhead ; and was much
rejoiced by reading a card presented to him by his friend
Lord Seymour Willoughby, that cn board his boats cigars
were allowed and no policemen.

AUTHENTIC CONTRADICTION.—Punch is requested
by the Anti• Monopoly Association to give the most de-
cided contradiction to the report that they have ever in-
vited either Mr. Charles Freeman or General Tom Thumb
to come forward on the free-trade interest, or that these
celebrated Americans refused the honour. The former,
it is well known, after he has " licked all the Britishers,"
purposes becoming a candidate for the presidency of the
United States , and the General is about to pay a visit, by
invitation, to his holiness the Pope.
AN AWKWARD DISAGREEMENT.—A singularly in-
opportune disagreement has just occurred, between the
clouds and the water-carts employed by the Watch and
Scavenging Committee. The former, seduced it is sup-
posed by the new moon, had promised faithfully to drench
the streets for a fortnight, in order to allow the latter to
avail themselves of the cheap train to visit their friends in
London. Notwithstanding such promise, however, and
after having made some tantalizing preparatory displays,
they have hitherto kept themselves aloof ; and the only
clouds to be met with are the clouds of dust, which have
taken advantage of the occasion to make a kick up in the
streets. Yesterday, being saint Monday, they were to be
met with, not drunk certainly, (for being very fortunately
water drinkers, there was no water to be got at, as the
plugs were all secured,) but very disorderly, annoying the
passengers in all directions, and even intruding themselves
into respectable shops and houses. At present there is
no appearance of their settling, or being put down by the
proper authorities ; and we suggest that, during the ab-
sence of the carts and the obstinacy of the substitutes which
had been engaged, the police might be supplied with wa-
tering pans, and for once do something towards paying for
their clothes, by clearing the streets and enabling decent
people to pass along without being blinded or choaked.
A CARD.—The figure of Britannia upon the Town-
hall is much surprised that the League candidate, Mr.
Brown, has not yet paid her the same compliment that
was extended to her by Mr. Entwisle, and allowed her an
opportunity of hearing a public declaration of his opinions
upon things in general. She is the more particularly
anxious for such an opportunity as, although she has
known him personally for many years, she never had
an idea that, as is now reported every day in her hearing
by a number of " the lads," that he is a greater orator than
Demosthenes, Cicero, Pitt, or Burke. She shall be very
unhappy until she hears him.

CHURCH MISSIONARY ASSOCIATION.—On Sunday
last the following sums were collected at the respective
churches mentioned, in aid of the valuable and extensive
missionary labours performed by this Godlike society :

X. s. d.
St. Andrew's, Renshaw-street
St. Augustine's, Shaw-street
St. Bride's, Percy-street.
St. Barnabas', Parliament-street
Christ Church
St. Clement's, Windsor
St. David's lO 6 5
St. George's, Everton
Everton Chapel. . .
St. John's
St. Jude's
sStt.. JohJames's,e
PBaarplitaismt l5 0 0
ent-street
.. .. 30 0 0
St. Luke's
St. Mary's, Edge-hill
St. Mary's, Kirkdale
Mariners' Church
St. Mark's
St. Silas', Pembroke-place
Trinity, St. Anne-street .
West Derby
Christ Church, Waterloo....
Wallasey Church
Wavertree Chapel • . 2 17 6

ASSAULT IN THE THEATRE.—On Saturday a tall
young man of gentlemanly exterior, who it is said ho'ds
a situation in a merchant's office, appeared at the Police
Court to answer a charge of assault preferred against him
by another young man of small stature, Mr. Emanuel
Moss. The complainant, who had his arm in a sling,
and appeared faint, said that on Tuesday evening last he
went to the Theatre-Royal and took a seat in the pit.
Shortly after the defendant and another young man took
their places near him and began to hiss the principal per-
formers. Complainant turned round arid said they were
annoying the audience and ought to be turned out. The
defendant thereupon kicked the complainant down the
stairs, cut his hat with a stick, and struck him on the
shoulders and right hand so severely that he had been in
pain ever since. Had he not been assisted by the by-
standers, he believed he should have been killed. To ques-
tions by Mr. Rushton, complainant said that Mr. and
Mrs. Kean were pe, forming at the time, and that the
only provocation he gave was that stated. Thomas Carter
checktaker at the pit d,)or, heard that two gentlemen were
annoying the audience, and went in and called defendant
andaHof
on trethmasehaafritins:wcirei wit friendnailnrer.dsassmnetssoossoasdri
defendant
teratfrdhet
ofengonydrreoas.lnsaastwul
mysgttl
.ekns laughing
al
aastoesnnsadddswkmt
kick
making r
.adfnoise.en Moss.d
instance,when
theywere
y tn
dsimplyd.
sbelmakingused
tkh
blackguard
theiraids
insulting
otr
uenn ogobsuailamgrai khan andsgt
uttoooan
gbhhteei
his
but,
enf r,i
kickede
fnho der
per-
u
out"; and he not only
sprung at him and tore his shirt. The defendant admitted
that he was very much excited at the time. Mr. Rush-
On said that a person going into a theatre had a right, if
he pleased, to express, in a proper manner, his approbation
or disapprobation of the performance, but he had no right
to do so in a way to annoy the audience. The defendant
was not half the size of the complainant, and had be-
haved ill. He must pay £5 or be imprisoned two
months. The fine was paid and the defendant discharged.
CHESTER AND HOLYHEAD RAILWAY.—The table
given below shows that the saving of time between London
and Dublin, by the intended Chester and Holyhead R
il-
way, is only one hour and a half as compared with the
present route, which is now so much improved in conse-
quence of the steam-boats between Liverpool and Dublin
being so well constructed as to perform the passage in
eight hours and a half. independent of which, the fare,
it will be perceived, by the present route, will be at
least one pound less than by the new railway; and in
the summer months it will be from thirty to thirty.
five shillings less, owing to the competition amongst
the steam-boats between Liverpool and Dublin, which
must always exist, in consequence of the great num-
ber required in the conveyance of goods and cattle.
—By the new route via Chester and Holyhead, the dis-
tance is five miles more than by the present route via Li-
verpool. It is now currently reported, that competent
parties are prepared to satisfy the Government that the
mails can, without any difficulty, be conveyed by the pre-
sent route, namely, Liverpool, within the time required
as proposed by Sir Robert Peel, in the House of Corn.
mons, namely, thirty hours, without making any new rail-
way whatever.
LONDON AND DUBLIN: PRESENT ROUTE.
Hours. Miles. Tares.
From London 10, a.m.; arrive at) 4i 112 .e 1 12 6
Birmingham 2i, p.m
Arrive at Liverpool 61, p.m 4 98 1 7 6
Arrive at Dublin 3, a.m si 122 1 0 0

17 332 4 0 0

INTENDED ROUTE.

Leave London 10, a.m. and arrive 1 42
112
at Birmingham 24, p.m 1 12 6
Arrive at Chester si, p.m 3i 75 1 2 0
Arrive at Holyhead 9, p.m 3i go 1 5 6
Arrive at Dublin ie a.m 4k 60 1 0 0
15i 337 5 0 0

Saving in time ii
Losing in distance 5
Losing in money
I 0 0
N.B.—Fares from Liverpool to Dublin in the summer months
are from ss. to 10s. for first-class passengers, and 2s. 6d. for
second-class.

Tits FREE CHURCH.—The assembly of the Free
Church met on Thursday, in Edinburgh. There were
about 4,000 persons present. Mr. H. Grey, of St. Mary's
Free Church, Edinburgh, was unanimously chosen Mo-
derator.

THE CONVICT BARBER.—Great exertions are being
made to procure some amelioration in the sentence of
transportation for life passed on this convict. It is re-
ported Mr. Wilkins his had an interview with Sir James
Graham on the subject, and that the transportation has
been postponed for a month.