The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-12-31 00:00:00

TO THE EDITOR OF THE LIVERPOOL ST4ND./IRD.

Sir.,—Humbug appears in such various forms, and even keeps
pace with the growing intelligence of the times, that a few
columns of your paper might be beneficially occupied in show-
ing up the various tricks and system of chicanery through dif-
ferent shades of respectability.
In touching upon the lower grades of humbug I shall com-
mence with the tavern-keeper, who, in order to work his system
with success, watches the different propensities of the gentlemen
at the bar. One of these gentlemen may have a plenitude of self-
sufficiency. This person is easily duped. The publican, whi!st
serving him with „"lass after.glass, pays him some fudging com-
pliments, by which, like the crow that dropped the cheese from
its beak when flattered by the fox, he is completely taken off
his guard, and begins to chatter and treat all those around him
with " glasses round." This the publican declares promotes
good fellowship. Good fellowship, indeed ! It 'promotes more
"glasses round ;" and thus do many men of limited income
not only unfit themselves for business, but spend more.money
in an evening than would maintain a family of six persons
with comfort the most part of a week. Another part of _the
system is for the old foxes (the publican. and his wife) to sta-
tion their daughters, or their nieces, or the wife's second or
third cousins, with fair faces, large bustles, and dressed heads,
in the bar, to flatter and humbug these stupid crows.
There are some men, whose wives and families movein a highly
respectable sphere, who have contracted the habit a! walking
in the night, like Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph, from tavern
to tavern, under the pretext of seeing "what's going on,"
which is merely a self-satisfying excuse for taking at each house
"a glass or two ; " unless their motive be, as I have heard it
averred, they don't wish any one landlord or other person to
know what quantity of drink, of various sorts, they consume in
an evening. To these persons;l shall just hint that such habits
soon reduce them belOw that, grade of society which their wives
and children continue to move in, as they frequently meet withpersons of inferior, if not disreputable, characters in these hours
when reason has lost her bias. They form acquaintances which
in their sober: hours they are ashamed of; but, as in the course
of time they become more besotted, they become less nice in
their distinctions of society, until at length they are reduced
to the level of a set of ale-swiping felllows with diseased intellects,
not fit to compete in reasoning with an African black just im-
ported from the land of Hottentots, and thus become a burden
and disgrace to a discreet and affectionate wife, who has, pro-
bably, educated her children and set them such a good exam-
ple that they are an ornament to society, until, perhaps, a
sudden or violent death closes the scene.
Only behold the stupid, vacant stare, with the glazeff eye and
imperfect power of speech of the habitual drunkard! -Listen
to his unmeaning observations, and his childish conversation
with his fellows "well met,'" his neglected dress, his wasted,
and, perhaps, in many cases, his fat, bloated form, in his pre-
mature sixth age, with the limb of the lean and slippered pan-
taloon, or the swollen limb indicating dropsy, and then say
whether you ought to admit in your columns a.picture like this,
which I cannot think too highly drawn.
If you favour this letter, I shall address you, in a week or so,
on other species of humbugs, such as auctioneer political hum-
bugs, cork-collar humbugs, et cum multis aliis.—Yours, &c.
SUTOR.