The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1843-09-19 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

When is a window like a star?—When it is a sky-light.
'Why are Dissenters like bees?—Because they are in-
sects.

FELINE FREAIL—A cat, at Culow, Derbyshire, lately
kittened on the top of a willow tree overhanging a deep
pond !

George Selwyn once affirmed in company that no wo-
man ever wrote a letter without a postscript. "My next
letter shall refute you," said Lady G—. Selwyn soon
after received a letter from her ladyship, when, after her
signature, stood—" P.S. Who was right now, you or I ?"
The editor of a paper at Columbus, Ohio apologises for,
the non-appearance of his paper at the regular time of
publication, by saying that he was "engaged in cowhiding
a fellow who had slandered him, and did not get through
early enough to get out with his paper !"
Louis XI. took offence with a certain abbot, and wished
him to withdraw from his benefice quietly. " Nay, nay,"
said the holy man, " my A.B. (Abbe) cost me two and
forty years to get. Does his Majesty think lam to learn
the next two letters in less time ? "—C.D.—cede--i. e
give up.

HAPPINESS.—An eminent modern writer beautifully
says—" The foundation of domestic happiness is faith in
the virtue of woman. The foundation of political happi-
ness—a confidence of the integrity of man. The founda-
tion of all happiness, temporal and eternal—reliance on
the goodness of God."

THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER.—Left his house, a gen-
tleman from the neighbourhood of Bow Church, Cheap-
side. Had on, when he left, a garnbroon shooting jacket,
cord breeches, and gaiters. He quitted his residence
early on the Ist of September, with a double-barrelled
gun and a spaniel, and has been missing ever since.—
Punch.

The most trifling actions that affect a man's credit are
to be regarded. The sound of your hammer a five in the
morning, or nine at night, heard by a creditor, makes
him easy six months longer; but if he sees you at a bil-
liard table, or hears your voice at a tavern when you
should be at work, be sends for his money the next day.
—Franklin.

JACK KETCTI.—The soubriquet of the common hang-
man is, perhaps, not generally known to have been derived
from Sir Richard Jaquett, of whom no other memorial
exists, but an almost illegible deed of the reign of Ed-
ward VI., wherein he is appointed Lord of the Manor of
Tyburne, with its appurtenances, including the gallows.
It is to a corruption of Jaquett that antiquaries attribute
Jack Ketch.

FRENCH ACCURACY.—The French papers never take
pains to translate a paragraph from the English Journals
correctly; and, as to the names, one would imagine it
would be easy enough to copy them correctly, yet every
journal in Paris, giving an account of the fire in Feller-
lane, says, " There was a dearth of engines, they being
employed at other fires at Stratford, Shaw's field, Pud-
dine Ham, Ileunsditck, and Lighe-street.".
THE FRENCH CoiT.p. -The yu.hltrul Dul., a, M.....t-
-pensier, so remarkable for his easy affability, is extremely
popular wherever he goes. The other day, at a large
dinner, he perpetrated a somewhat audacious joke. The
sale of tobacco is monopolised by the Government, which
sells at a dear rate what is often none of the best. Th
prince, offering a cigar to one of his guests, said, " You
may be certain they are excellent, for they are smuggled!' '
ENGLISH GENTLEMEN.—I do not know a finer race of
men than the English gentlemen. Instead of the softness
and effeminacy which characterise the man of rank in
most countries, they exhibit a union of elegance and
strength, a robustness of frame, and freshness of com-
plexion, which I attribute to their living so much in the
open air, and pursuing so eagerly the invigorating recrea-
tions of the country.—Washington Irving.
THE INTELLECTUALITY OF EATING.—" A man, sir,"
observed the sage, " who gabbles at his dinner, may be
said to swallow, not to eat. Eating, sir, is as much a
mental, nay more than a physical task. There is, sir, a
wonderful sympathy between the brain and the palate,
Talk destroys the exquisite harmony between them. All
the nobler functions of the soul should be present during
every mouthful ; and so sublimating it, the wise man eats
with his brain, the fool with his mouth.

"THREE ENGLISH WOMEN FOR A FARTHING."—A
droll scene took place yesterday at Paris, in the middle of
the Rue Rivoli. We have a a species of pear, which is, I
suppose, imported from England originally, and hence it
is so called; but as the general term of the pear is femi-
nine, it, to an untaught ear, descries one of the milder
and better portion of the creation ; hence when an un-
fortunate vender of pears, was roaring in the most
fashionable part of Paris, " Trois Avglaises pour deux
liards," one of our countrymen, who happened to be pas-
sing at the moment with his wife and two daughters, ig-
norant of the nomenclature of the pears imagined that the
cry was intended for his family, and immediately knocked
the poor pear vender down, to the latter's great surprise.
When, however, the matter was explained to our compa-
triot, he, rather than be had up for an assault before the
police correctionelle, satisfied the man in a way which
probably induces him to regret that he so seldom has the
chance of meeting a regular John Bull with three ladies,
when he is crying out " Three English women for a Earth-
ing, six for a sous."—Paris paper.

POISONED BY BRANDY.—On Sunday, says the lifoni-
teur Parisien, a journeyman mason, aged 21, fell a victim
to intemperance, having drunk with one of his comrades
five quarts of brandy the evening before.
FRENCH FLEET IN CHINA.—The French vessels of
war in the Chinese seas are, says the Constitutionnel, the
Cleopatre frigate, of 52 guns, the Syren, of 52 guns, the
Sabine corvette, of 30 guns, the Alcmene, and the Victo-
rieuse corvette, of 24 guns.
A BOY SHOT.—On the Gth instant, whilst a detach-
ment of the 55th regiment of the line were firing at a
target, near Calais, a lad, sixteen years of age, who, with
other boys, was amusing himself in picking up the balls,
advanced too close to the target, and was killed on the
spot, the bullet entering his side, and passing through
his heart.

A Carmelite nun died on the 27th ult. at Placencial
(Spain,) aged 108. She lived in the reigns of Philip V.,
Ferdinand VI, Charles 111, Charles IV, and: Ferdinand
VII. She also witnessed the reigns of nine Popes—Cle-
ment XII, Benedict XIV, Clement XIII, Clement XIV,
Pius VI, Pius VII, Leo XII, Pius VIII, and Gregory
XIN. She was 79 years in the cloister.

HANOVER, SEPT. B.—The King has returned from
London in such excellent health, that, after performing
the whole journey very rapidly, and without stopping by
the way, he was able, a few hours after his arrival, to re-
ceive the Archduke Stephen and a select company at
dinner, and in the evening numerous visitors at the palace.
while the magistrates welcomed his Majesty with a serenade
by torchlight. His Majesty received a deputation of the
magistrates, and repeated his assurance that his sole ob-
ject was to promote the whelfare of the country, and also
that all pas differences should be forgotten.
TIIE INDIAN MAILS.—At the present time, when the
non-arrival of the Indian Mail has caused considerable
anxiety in the public mind, some remarks by Mr. Ander-
son, of the Oriental steam company, on the political po-
litical position of the transit through Egypt, are peculiarly
opportune. These remarks are contained in a small pam-
phlet, printed for private circulation. IV r. Anderson calls
attention to the precarious condition in which the condi-
tion in which the continuance of our all-impertant OT 3r-
laud route depends. The advantages which tlu.t route
presents over the navigation of the Cape are so great, nd
the public are now become so completely used to them,
that they have become matters of necessity. The English
public could not afford to lose that route, and yet to the
goodwill of one aged man can they aloi.c look for its
maintenance, and for protection, while they avail them-
selves of the transit. To make such an arrangezhei,t as
would convert the continuance of a safe transit ii to
right, not depending on the good-will of any person,
but binding on the official character of the Pasha, is tha •
object of Mr. Anderson's remarks. As long as there is
favour on one side and no consideration on the other, a
sound basis is impossible. Hence, he considers a fair and
liberal proposal to the Pasha, offering to pay part of the
expenses, would be the means of changing a contingency
into a certainty, and such a proposal might lead to an ar-
rangement for permanently securing the transit.

LATEST FROM MONTE VIDEO.

(From the Albion.)

We have seen letters from Monte Video to the Ist of
July, up to which period Oribe had not made his " grand
attack" on the town, although the inhabitants were in
daily and nightly expectation of such an event. Mean-
time the invading general contented himself with commit-
ting such small atrocities as chance and the " fortune of
war" threw in his way, and suffered no opportunity to
pass which could tend to keep up that sanguinary vindictive
character to which his career, as Rosas's general, so justly
entitles him, and which has gained him so much of Rosas's
confidence. Every prisoner that unhappily falls into his
power is put to death, according to our informant, with
greater or less babarity ; but throatcutting seems to he the
mode he most usually adopts. The following is from the
pen of an eye witness:—

" On the 29th our cricket club, along with the officers
of the English vessels of war, went to the Mount for a
day's play. At the time a party of 30 of Oribe's cavalry
were there, which had cut off and made prisoners of 12
of the Montevidean infantry, who had been despatched
from the Cerro to keep them in check. We saw the
bodies of eight of them (,even blacks and one white), all
degollados and worse clone to some of them. The bodies
were yet warm, and, on being examined by the doctor of
the Ardent, it was found that three had no other wound
than that of the throat, leaving it certain that they had
been murdered when prisoners. I was filled with horror
all the day and night afterwards, and I mention the thing
to you as a duty. Every man should expose such bar-
barity, that it may be known by the whole world and put
down."
Our correspondent continues !

•.
Early this week a captain each of the French and
English squadrons went on a parliamento to General
Oribe's camp, offering mediatiotr for his retiring his forces
under his present lost hopes. Oribe would not admit
them to a conference, but said he would have no treaty
with savage Unitarios,' and that, within 15 days, he
would have possession of this plaza. People cannot con-
ceive upon what grounds he appears so confident, when
the city is much better prepared for defence than it has
been any time for the six months that he bas been lying
before it, and, thanks to the energy of the Government,
treason within is now out of the question. He added,
significantly enough, that, on his entry, he would have
respect for none. Regarding the intended interference of
Great Britain and France, as some time ago announced by
their respective ministers, Messrs. Mandeville and De
Lurdi, in Buenos Ayres, and the protective and humane
steps taken by our Commodore •Purvis, more recently,
it appears that nothing further will be done until fresh in-
structions are sent out, subsequent to the receipt of the
commodore's despatches, per Partida, of the 27th of
March. Answers will be due by the end of this month,
and we are all sanguine that they will be satisfactory. The
national arms, however, bid fair to smother the invaders
of themselves.

" The late affair at Solis Grande has given the greatest
confidence in the bravery of the troops under Dr. Frulos,
and the result shows that it has been a serious disaster to
Rosas."

Up to Saturday no official intelligence of Dadd's arrest
had been received.—Observer.
Her Royal Highness the Princess of Orange was happily
delivered of a prince on Friday morning, at half-past six
o'clock. Her royal highness and the infant prince are
doing well.
The Rev. James Norris, one of the senior fellows of
Corpus Christi College, has been elected to succeed the
late Dr. Bridges as president of that society. The late
president did not hold any college living.
On Saturday last, the Prince and Princess Hobenlohe
arrived at Woolwich, where a carriage drawn by four fine
horses was awaiting, and which conveyed the noble vi-
sitors to the residence of her Royal Highness the Duchess
of Kent.
The Wheat harvest in Michigan is now completed, and
we are gratified to hear that the crop has been gathered in
excellent order. The yield is said to be fully equal to the
highest expectation before the harvest, and the berry as
as represented plump and fine. We have a heavy surplus
for exportation from the State this fall—Detaait Free
Press.

Government, it is said, is about to appoint a commis-
sion of inquiry into the relations between landlord and
tenant in Ireland. We will not say that such an inquiry,
if instituted, will lead to no good ; but of this we feel as-
sured, that the relations between landlord and tenant in
any country must always adjust themselves; they cannot
be made the subject of compulsory legislative regulation.
OttANcE LODGE.—No. 14 of the Grand Protestant
Confederation of Loyal Orangemen, held their lodge night
o❑ Wednesday evening last. at the house of Mr. W. Bar.
row, the Pitt and Nelson Inn, Ashton, when upwards of
thirty new members were elected. A considerable num-
ber of visitors from Oldham and Denton districts attended,
and the evening was spent in the greatest harmony and
enjoyment.

FISHING EXTRAORDINARY.--A few days afro a gen-
tleman, residing in Warwickshire, was engaged in fishing
in one of those numerous pools which contribute so much
to the romantic beauty of this picturesque part of the
country. After about an hour's diversion in the " gentle
art," he succeeded in hooking a fish, which, after about
an hour's play, he finally secured. It proved to be a pike
of the enormous weight of 34bs. On its being after-
wards opened it was found to contain, besides several
small fish, a plump and full fledged partridge.

FRAUDS os THE REVENUE.—A few weeks since a
large seizure of contraband tobacco was made by Mr.
James rogg, atl itibpcctut uf tlac. Thanseb on the
premises of a baker in Easttield-street, Limehouse, which
was removed to the Custom-house. Since that time an
inquiry has been made by the Commissioners and Solici-
tors of Customs, on the information of some of the parties
engaged in the transaction, which has terminated in Ex-
chequer writs being issued against Fogg and ten other
persons, two of whom not being able to procure bail, are
now in Whitecross-street Prison. The amount of Fogg's
bail is for £llOO, the amount of penalties sought to be
recovered by the crown.

MORE FIRES IN LONDON.—We have elsewhere given
a few particulars of several destructive fires which oc-
curred in London last week, and the Times of yesterday
states that several more took place on Saturday and
Sunday last. On Saturday night a fire was discovered in
the extensive premises of Mr. Burchfield, lope manu-
facturer, Penny-fields, Poplar, by which a tar furnace,
one of the yarn warehouses, a hemp loft, and the oakum
house were reduced to ruins. On Sunday night a very
alarming fire took place on the spacious premises belong..
ing to Messrs. Killiud, situated in Wentworth-street,
Whitechapel, and termed the City Saw Mills. In little
better than an hour the place was burnt to the ground,
and the adjoining premises were extensively injured. The
origin of both fires is a mystery.

THE IRON TRADE.—Within these few days an ad-
ditional advance of 10s. per ton (making .41 per ton since
the late reduction) on manufactured iron has been effected,
and, we are most happy to state, without any apparent
diminution of the demand. Upon pig iron the advance
now certified is Its. per ton, making its full price £3 per
ton, and in some instances a greater amount has been
asked and obtained. The stock in hand, however, is
understood to be large, and a considerable portion is held
by speculators, who, it is expected, so soon as they can
realise a somewhat larger profit on their purchases, will
bring their stocks into the market. So extensive, indeed,
is this supply, that a firm manufacturing four or five hun-
dred tons per week expects for some time to come to
derive its supply of pig iron principally from this source.
The forges and mills around are, we may say, completely
employed, and preparations are making for putting about
six blast furnaces into work ; one, if not two, being already
in operation. As each of these furnaces will, directly or
indirectly, give employment to from 200 to 250 men, we
look to their resuscitation with considerable interest, and
even anxiety. Their continuance in blast will test the
real character of the existing demand, and, we trust,
prove it to be permanent. At one or two of the works
the operations in rails are lively, the late lowness of price
having induced the despatch of several orders from the
Continent, and from America. In Scotch pigs the ad-
vance, we are informed, is about is. 6d. per ton ; and in
Wales, the demand, at an advance commensurate with
that in this quarter, is brisk. The trade of the town,
speaking generally, is in a fair condition, but prices (and
profits necessarily) low. Indications of an advance,
however, present themselves, lists of reduced discounts,
in two or three branches of trade, having been handed to
factors.—Wolverhampton Chronicle, Sept. 13.

DUELLING AT BRIGHTON.—A laughable incident has
just occurred here, and given rise to much conversation
and merriment, not unmixed, however, with feelings of
an opposite character. A draper's shopman, or, in the
modern trading phraseology, " assistant," not,we imagine,
over-gifted in the upper story, having a desire to obtain
" a situation under Government." conceived the idea of
making his wishes known directly to his Sovereign on her
arrival at Brighton, and he accordingly penned a missive
to that effect, directed to her Majesty at the Palace, the
day after her arrival from France. " Somehow or other,"
a phrase brought into notoriety here by one of our ma-
gisterial Solons, the letter fell into the hands of a fellow-
shopman, who, in coucert with others of the counter,
concocted a reply, dated from the Pavilion, informing the
applicant that her Majesty would grant him an audience.
Accordingly, away he posted on the following morning, at
the time named in the note, and, of course, found that he
was hoaxed, and the smiling and smirking which greeted
him on his return to the shop informed him by whom.
In a short time he:discovered the individual delinquent,
and, foaming with rage, demanded satisfaction. "Of
what sort 1" demanded the challenged, doubling his fists.
Nothing of that sort, however, would do ; pistols were de-
manded and agreed to, and the parties met on Monday
morning on the Race-hill.. To carry on the joke, the
seconds arranged with the challenged that the pistols
should contain powder only, and that in the event of
his antagonist being dissatisfied with the first fire,
the challenged should fall at the second, as if mortally
wounded ; and, to carry on the deception, his shirt
beneath his waistcoat wss saturated with blood.
The meeting took place, the ground was measured, the
seconds took their station, and both parties at a given
signal fired, of course without effect. The seconds then
tried to arrange matters, but the challenger declared that
one of the two must fall, and the pistols were again loaded.
This time, according to arrangement, the other fell. His
antagonist rushed up, and the seconds, opening the waist-
coat, declared that the shot had taken a fatal effect. The
challenger, in a state of distraction, started over the hills
in the direction of Lewes, and the party who remained,
judging he would look back, carried on the joke by lifting
the supposed dead man from the ground, and carrying the
body towards the town. This had the effect of doubling
the speed of the fugitive ; but the most serious part of the
joke remains to be told—he has not since been beard of.