The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1844-05-21 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

An Irishman and a negro were fighting a few days agn
in Philadelphia, and while grappling with each other, the
Irishman exclaimed—" You black vagabond, halloa enuf.
I'll fight till I die." "So will I," sung out the negro;
" I always does."
" What can I give you for a keepsake, my dearest
John?" -sobbed out a sentimental girl to her scapegrace
lover, the lion. Jack V—, about to join his ship in
warlike times. " Give, dearest angel," cried Jack in
some confusion, " ehem—why, why, you hav'ut such a
thing as a five pound note about you I suppose?"

FOREIGN AFFAIRS.-It is a common idea that the
most laconic military despatch ever issued was that sent
by Cu,-ar to the 1.-Lorse Guards at Rome, containing the
three memorable words " Veni, midi, vici," and perhaps,
until our own day, no like instance of brevity has been
found. The despatch of Sir Charles Napier, after the
capture of Scinde, to Lord Ellenborough, both for brevity
and truth, is, however, far beyond it. The despatch
consisted of one emphatic word—" Peccavi," " I have
Scinde" (sinned).—Punch.
THE MEETING OF THE RlVALS.—Brummell, before
he sunk under the pressure of poverty, always withstood
the Prince of Wales, like a man whose feelings had been
injured. WeR do I remember an instance of this, one
night after the opera. I was standing near the stove of
the lower waiting-room, talking to several persons, of
whom one is now alive. The Prince of Wales, who always
came out rather beFore the performance concluded, was
also standing there, and waiting for his carriage, which
used to drive-up what was then Market•lane, but now the
Opera Arcade. Presently, Brummell came out, talking
eagerly to some friends ; and, not seeing the Prince or
his party, he took up a position near the check-taker's bar.
As the crowd flowed out, Brummell was gradually pressed
backwards, until he was all but driven against the Regent,
who distinctly saw him, but who of course would not
move, In order to stop him, therefore, and prevent ac-
tual collision, one of the Prince's suite tapped him on the
back ; when Brummell immediately turned sharply round,
and saw that there was not much more than a foot between
his nose and the Prince of Wales's. I watched him with
intense curiosity, and observed that his countenance did

not change in thjeslightest degree. nor did his head move:
they looked straight into each other's eyes, the Prince
evidently amazed and annoyed. Brummelt, however, did
not quail, or shew the least embarassment. He receded
quite quietly, and backed slowly, step by step, until the
crowd closed between them, never once taking his eyes off
those of the Prince. It was impossible to describe the
impression made by this scene on the bystanders : there
was in his manner nothing insolent, nothing offensive; by
retiring with his face to the R-gent's he recognised his
rank ; but he offered no apology for his inadvertence (as a
mere stranger would have done), no recognition as an ac-
quaiutance: as man to man, his bearing was adverse and
uncompromising.—Life of Brumrnell.

SENGULAR MANNER OF OBTAINING NOBILITY.—The
Heidelberg executioner is noble by right of descent. The
origin of his family's nobility is given by M. Dumas as
follows :—" The evening of the day on which King Louis
of Bavaria was crowned emperor, there was a splendid
bail at the town-hall, at which the empress was preient.
Amongt the guests was a cavalier dressed entirely in
black, and having his face covered with a black mask.
He invited the empress to dance : she accepted, and whilst
they were dancing together, another mask approached the
emperor; and asked him if he knew who his wife's part-
ner was. ' No,' replied the emperor, but I suppose it is
some sovereign prince.' Lower than that,' said the
mask. ' Some nobleman then—a count or baron.'
Lower than that.' Perhaps with a knight.' Lower
still.' With an esquire?' Less than that." A page?'
You have not guessed it—lower still. The emperor
flushed crimson with anger. A groom ?' If that were
all !' answered the unknown with a strange laugh. But
who is it then ?' cried the emperor. ' Tear off his mask
and you will see.' The emperor approached the sable ca-
valier, and tore off his mask. It was the headsman.
' Miscreant!' shouted the emperor, as his sword flashed
from the scabbard, ' commend thy soul to God before
thou diest.' Sire!' replied the headsman, falling on his
knees, you may kill me if you will ; but the empress has
not the less danced with me, and the dishonour, if disho-
nour there be, is already incurred. Do better than that :
knight me : and if any one dares to speak evil of her ma-
jesty, the same sword that executes justice shall vindicate
her fame.' The emperor reflected for a moment. The
advice is good,' said he at last. ' Henceforward you shall
no longer be called the headsman, but the last of the
judges.' Then, giving him three blows on the shoulder
with his sword flat, ' Rise !' he continued ; ' from this hour
you are the lowest among nobles, and ie first amongst
genuineand burghers.' And accordingly since that day, in all public
fantastical
be t br
it history,b e a
procesi.ions and ceremonies, the executioner walks by
himself, in rear of the nobles and in front of the com-
moners."wbiehle Laves
e Tursuilbyone
le-
gend of Heidelberg, or one of M. Dumas's dreams in the
diligence after dining upon pig and cherry sauce. At any
rate, if not true it is ben trovato.—Blackwood's Magazine.
mucha mostdo