The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1843-01-03 00:00:00

INFANT EDUCATION

(From George Cruikshank

Comic Almanack.)
BABY-LONIAN' UNIVESITY.—The grand aim of modern
infant education is to make learning very attractive, to in-
vest Lindiev _

, w.g oeuo power over upil's
mild, and dress Dilworth in an adhesive plaster,the thapt shall
cause all the little boys in the kingdom to stick to it. If
Mayor's Spelling can be converted into a magic spell, there
is a hope that the infant population may be charmed into an
appreciation of ba, be, bi, bo, btu; and such will be the pro-
gress of education, that we may have, before the expiration
of a century, universities at which the wet nurse and the pro-
fessor may be alike required to attend to the physical and
intellectual wants of the infant students. A bachelor of arts
lily be entitled to the distinction of 8.A., but may
•—,rs B.Y. to complete his description. It has
...een suggested that philosophy should be taught by
and it will be easy to give a lecture on the laws of mo-
tion, illustrated by a game at marbles, or to explain the theory
of equations by reference to the pleasing pastime of nine-
nins.

will not of
add the I

The Pons Asinorum, that has puzzled 'many of our modern
youth, will be much more easily overcome when a real don-
key ride is resorted to; and the difficult process of looking
for the square root will be greatly facilitated by a spade, when
the student fimla

:o dig in the

rden of

worthy Mr. Wilderspin introduced, in
_ ..6eeeable system of making fun of school;
tie would only consent to put his infant pupils into the
fantastical caps and gowns which are worn at the universi-
ties, the joke would be still richer than it is at present. "To
that complexion we shall come at last ;" and, if education is
to be made game of, the sooner we go " the whole hog" the
better.

Already has 0-

many places, tb

The following is an extract from a report that is intended
to illustrate the enormous success of the Wilderspin system :
Teacher.—What is this I hold in my hand ?
Children.—A piece of glass.
Teacher.—What can you do with it
Children.—Scrape slate pencil
Teacher.—What else
Children.—Look at it.
Teacher.—lf you put it to your eye can you see throu
Children.—Not if you shut your eye.
Teacher.—Can you break glass?
Children.—We'll try (one child breaks a window.)
Teacher.--Then glass is brittle?
Children.—Rather.
Teacher.—Will the shutter break ?
Children.—We are not going to try that

What can your eyes do with it

1' violently.)

Made a g.
leacher.—What is wax.
Children.—A soft substan
Teacher--

t noise, and hurt your own knuckles

—ls there any other sort of wax that is not soft?
—Yes, the whacks you give us when we don't
know our lessons.
Teacher.—What does a cow give us ?

Children

Nothin

Teacher.—Well, what does the milkman give U 3
Children.—He gives us nothing : we hilt, it

- .... , u
Teacher.—What do we buy from him ?uy iL.
Children.—Milk and water.
Teacher.—What's this?
Children.—A frying-pan.
Teacher.—What use does your mother make of it ?
Children.—She sometimes beats father about the head
with it.

Teacher.—Has your mother t,
Children.—No, she's sold it.
Teacher.—What colour is this orange
Children.—Orange colour.
Teacher.—How large is this orange

,t a mangle

land ?

Children.—As big again as half.
Teacher.—How long will oranges keep in this climate
Children.—Not a day, when you get hold of them.
Teacher.—T ha t will do; you may go home,
ChiMren.—Thanliee, sir.

A JAW-BREAKER.—There was at the wharf at Van
Buren. Arkansas, a few days ago. a steam-boat called Sag-
wa-ta-le-ki-vo-fam -sup-hum ted-ou-chou, which. in the "ori-
ginal Choctaw," means " Conqueror of Steamboats." We
should think the name was alone sufficient protection against
snags and sawyers of the worst kind. Iler owners needn't
go to the expense of insurance.,--Picayune
3,, I SHAKSPEARE

—My opinion of Shakspeare's fine passage,
" Pale Primroses,
That die unmarried, ere thay can behold
',t Phoebus in his strength."
.—Shakspeare's intimate knowledge of nature
was not one of detail; it was the general perception of
genius—Homer-like, to whom also authors writing on Ho-
meric natural history have ascribed knowledge, whilst he
merely possessed perception—intuition. Shakspeare from a
youth rambled much in the fields and forests, at the very
beginning of spring, when Old English frosts had ceased t
1".11, the co- if

is the followi'n

veers of the earth. Certainly, the primrose
ttly attracted his notice, as one of the first harbingers of
It is certain that the first blooms are always pale, or
so. Shakspeare, lam sure, did not examine whether
Such bear seed or not ; the endeavour would have been too
detailed, the very idea unpoetical. The poet found them
pale in the outset of spring ; he saw the same faded, decayed,
afterwards.; whilst others which blossomed at a more ad.
vanced period were not pale, the latter on account of having
beheld " Pficebus in his strength." Of him, Shakspeare
makes a heavenly bridegroom, reddening the cheeks of such
as beheld him! th.

pale, unmarried." These,
I am sure, were Shakspeare's ground for speaking thus—
provided genius be guided by grounds, and not by mere im-
pulse—inspiration. Shakspeare think of the seeding of plants !
No such thing. The genius of the poet and that of a Lin-
nreus are different indeed !—A Foreigner.
INTELLECTUAL ILLUSTRATIONS.--LOVe—Love is a mys-
tery whose subtle essence neither philosopher nor metaphy-
sician has defined. Its disciples give implicit faith to what
their reason cannot fathom ; their utmost knowledge thereof
being to feel they know not what they feel. Waste—Waste
of wealth iA sometimes retrieved ; waste of health, seldom ;
and waste of time, never. Indulgenue--The erring are oft-
times more easily reclaimed by giving- them credit for vir-
tues than by exposing their vices. Charity—There are two
kinds of charity,—the charity of action and the charity of
opinion : the former may exist without the, latter, but the
latter cant only want tile means to exercise both. Lan-
guage—Language may be a faithful interpreter of our feel-
ings when they do not rise or sink to excess; but in the ex-
extremes of joy or sorrow the heart rejects the aid of words,
and sees in them only inexpressive sounds. Exaggeration—
While we look at the good fortune of others through the
medium of a magnifying power, we view our own misfor-
tunes through a still stronger focus. Good Nature—With
the possession of every good quality, an excess of good na-
ture, while it may appear the most estimable of all, will often
render the whole nugatory. Despair—Despair is the shroud
of hope. When hope dies, all is desolation—the mind is a
sepulchre, the heart is bankrupt, the world a desert waste!
Social Offences—There are two offences against society ; the
one to have too little wealth, and the other to have too much
fame. nuth and Age—Youth is the season for silence and
observation ; while it is for old age to be communicative. In
youth, the eyes and ears are of acute perception ; but in after
years, when the eyes grow dim and the ears become deaf,
the tongue should he employed to convey to others the ac-
cumulated knowledge of life. Discontent—However para-
doxical it may appear, we are more indebted to a man's dis-
content than to his nobler qualities for the comforts we
enjoy ; since, had he remained content, society would have
made little advance. Ancestry—An empty coxcomb boast-
ing of a renowned ancestry is no better than a potato-
blossom—all that is good pertaining to him being under
ground. Imagination—lmagination is the power of painting
with the mind ; the colouring of both is generally too gaudy
for the simple truth of nature. Sympathy—lt is only from
those who have themselves suffered that we may expect sym-
pathy or consolation in our distress. A heart that has bled
for its own can seldom he hardened to another's woe. De-
'nu—He who defers congratulation or condolence is in
Retrospection—When the veil

danger of misplacing them

oecome to their merits,
bitterly do we then remember words or looks
ess which may have escaped us in our intercourse
How careful h A..n...t. RIIPh thfinrrisfa

a our pay

iffection which it may yet be
o can tell how soon the mo-

merit may arrive when repentance cannot be followed by re-
paration. Home—Keep your store of smiles and yonr
kindest feelings for home ; give to the world only those
which are to spare.—lmrnortality—Man's constant hanker-
ing after objects unattainable in this world is alone sufficient
evidence that he is destined for a future state.—Calabrella's
Prison of Thought.