The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1835-07-10 00:00:00

THE LIVERPOOL LITERARY JOURNAL.

'TO THE EDITOR OF THE LIVERPOOL ST.I,VD.4RD.
Certain members of the literary and scientific institution of
this town have ushered into exiiitence a small weekly periodi-
cal, to which they have given the pompoui designation of
" Literary Journal and Scientific Register:" I take it for
granted that the St. Ann-street literati intend the first number
as a fair sample of the species of writing Which Will hereafter
he entitled to their imprimatur. This first bantling, no doubt,
has had its due allowance of pap and nursing, before it has been
sent into the wide world to make its fortune. But let us see of
what sort of stuff it is elaborated. . _ .

In the number before us—in the language of the critics—we
are treated to au incipient romance,.entitled " Walter Gordon,"
in which a " rather tall" young lady of 18 is described as the
very " paragon of female beauty itself." Lest; however, a too
favourable idea should be formed of this young beauty, " little
known amid the gayand deceitful world," we are told that she
" happened to be as deformed and unshapely in perfect symmetry"
as a certain young gentleman, who was to marry her, was in
demeanour. The writer then informs us that the papas of
these young folks had sworn "to cling to one another through
every change of fortune, which, (every change) if it turned out
to be prosperous in turbulous times, (how alliterative), should
cement the two houses in union for ever." He does not inform
us whether this indissoluble union was to be effected by Roman
cement. When the aforesaid young gentleman was informed
of the " happiness in store" for him—videlicet, his marriage
with the " rather tall" girl of 18—" the honourable fop only
smiled at his father with a look of fiendish exultation." Ilow
romantic! This sentimental " honourable fop" deputes his
secretary to snake love to his intended, as his prosy. • Well,
this locum tenens wends his way to the fair one's elysian abode.
After passing through the " lodge-gate," he is puzzled which
way to turn, which is rather singular for a neighbour. In this
predicament, Miss Chance—"that wayward jade"—prompts
him to take the left, which is rather unfashionable, at least in
Liverpool, for every gentleman takes the right. The upshot of
this mistake is, that he finds himself in the neighbourhood of
a " most beautiful flower-garden," where " some (more than
one) beautiful statues were placed on a pedestal in the centre
of the area, surrounded by flowers of the most odoriferous
scents." Here the gay young secretary hears a young lady.
the " rattier-tall" one,lt is presumed—singing with a "..sweet.
voice." Ile say s that "the style of the performer was changed
into a tone of soul-rending melody, but the voice appeared
tainted with bitterness.'" He then traces the words which com-
posed-this bitter-sweet strain—we are not told whether iu his
pocket-book, or on the bark of some aged elm, though the latter
is not likely, inasmuch as he was sitting on his " brittling"
steed! The sequel of the tale—which is to appear in the next—
I suppose will give us an interesting account of the " rather
tall" girl's elopement with the gay young secretary—while the
"• honourable fop" is left to " smile with fiendish exultation" at
his disappointmeat. •
We are next treated with a magniloquent description of a
magnificent concert, held at London ? York ? Birmingham ?
no—at Runcorn I

\Ve next come to some verses on a thunder-storni, perpe-
trated by a beardless poetaster, who appropriately calls himself
Alpha—id eat, the T.st who ever produced any thing so ludicrous.
He informs us that he was " gazing around him in a thOught-
ful mood, at the silent hour of night," although in the second
verse'he says, that " all around was dark and drear."
" Black clouds were hanging o'er my head,
And slowly gliding thro' the air."
" All creatures to their rest had fled."
This gentleman (perhaps he is the veritable Highland youth
—he of the second sight) who sees in the dark, recognises the
strange phenomenon of locomotive, stationary clouds ! It seems
strange to say that all creatures had " fled to their rest," while
it must be evident that he was exposed to the pelting of the
pitiless storm, under the canopy of Heaven.

" The moon from 'neath he: veil at times
• Shone with golden lustre beaming,
Illuminating distant climes,
-o'er.the boundless ocean gleaming."

The lustre of the moon used to be termed silvery, but this is an
aze of wonderful discovery, and she may turn out to be a green
cheese at last. What gleamed o'er the ocean—the croon, or the

climes

" Again she vanished from my sight,
Again the veil was o'er her drawn."

low very- coquettish ! Fie, Miss Luna!
" Agaiu the earth was void of light."

What a fine season fot gazing around !
" While I stood looking at the sky,
Between short intervals I saw
Brilliant sheets of lightning fly, •.
Which filled me with a pleasing awe."
Lackaday ! what a delightfully horrible sight.
"The splendor of the scene increased,
The tbunde►s echoed in my ear."
Not from cloud to cloud—or from vale to hill—no, but in the
pours ear tl►e rolling thunders-echoed Laud ! . _
" The awful roarings never ceased.'.'

ow tantalising to hear such an everlasting tingling in the ear.
" The whole earth seemed lo 'quake with fear."

I hope the dreadful roarings in the poet's ear have not frightened
the members of the " Literary Institution" out of all their pro-
prieties. Rather than that the whole earth should be terrified
by these strange rumblings I would advise the young 'poet to
consult an experienced aurit : perhaps he could liberate the
echoes from those cavernous regions where his brains shotild be
located.

" The playful winds around me roared,
Old ocean's waves leaped up for joy,
The rain iu rapid torrents poured,
The gushing floods the strife enjoy !"
The poet has here realised the very essence of sublimity. We
shall leave him—
" His breast with rapture glowing."
Alpha—the poet, I presume—in another part of this number
gives us some sage remarks—ex cathedra—ou the pleasure to be
derived from study. Can any metaphysician in St. Ann-street
explain the followidg extract :—" To employ whatever leisute
hours he has in pursuing those studies which are best calculated
to raise him in the scale of moral worth—to enlighten his under-
standing, both with regard to the Creator and his most wonderful
works, and to read, from the examples daily before his eyes, the
almost inevitable consequences resulting from any patticular
line of conduct in man, the comparative happiness of those
whose actions in all instances, both in the hour of prosperity
and adversity, are. such cts, when reflected upon, instead of the
sting of reproach, their consciences can justly applaud, &c. &c."
Further on we are told that the study of these things—and these
only—will furnish us with that felicity which we All desire—and
enable us to form just and elevated conceptions of the Almighty.
I am afraid this passage betrays the cloven foot of soeinianism.
Is the writer aware of an old-fashioned book called " Biblei"
I have always considered that to be the only source of true wis-
dom, in reference to a knowledge of pur Creator. Your rigma-
role moral philosophy never instructed any one in his religious

duties:
In parting with this juvenile magazine, Permit me, Mr.
Editor, to ask the members of the " Literary Institution" one
little question. Is their secretary a Raman catfidic, and do they
succumb in their proceedings to a few socinian demagogues ?
It concerns them to get rid of such an imputation.

Since the preceding remarks werepenned, 1-have been fa-,
vuured with the perusal of a second number of the Literary.
Journal, equally rich in nonsense with the former. A few ad_
ditional samples may not he unacceptable. The editor of The.
work, in an elaborate leading article, observes, ." that the in-
crease of our enlightened population requires that works of,
sterling merit ( videlicet, suo proprio opera) should fall ufr that
vacuum in the minds of the people, which (vacuum !) is butloo
often inclined to profligacy and vice?' lie, therefore, deems
apology superfluous for his "intrusion before the public," to
fill up this paradoxical " cavity, which, appears at first sight so
immeasurable ;" and conceives it " to be a duty, strictly im-
posed upon every class of society, to come forward to their as-
sistance." Ergo it is the " strictly imposed duty" of the Big
Beggerman, the widow's mite, (Lord Johnny), the schoolmaster
that corresponds with his majesty, W. Ewart, Esq., and Jack
Ais Roebuck; the man that Makes his rnatutinal meal of his own
political paper pellets—l say that it is the duty of all these to
" come" forwaritto the atisistatee of the Liverpool Scientific
Register. What a galaxy of talent—of genius ineffable, would
be thns displayed! 1-
The next passage is absolutely overpowering in force and
sublimity. "If we had felt a lukewarm indifference to the
manners and customs of our land, we Should never have
emerged from our undesturbed ( sic—the St. Ann-street phi,
losophers are concocting an improved orthography .of the
English language) repose,—where, reclining in the quiet ,of
• uninterupted (sic) slumber, our minds were employed in the
cultivation of that soil,-which now promises so favourable an
harvest!" Notice, en passant, that the aspirates are not to have
any further existence—sic decretunt est. This somnambulist,
that tills the soil in his sleep, must evidently have been in a
similar state of, mystification while he produced the fruit of his
labour, which is contained in the closing paragraph of his ad-
dress, which I transcribe for the illumination of the public.
" As the people of this populous island have already arrived
at a power far beyond their own knowledge and extent, is it not
right; for those who are able, to lend a helpitig hand—to berme
askmastersfor the general weal ? undoubtedly it is; and having,
as we have, so bright an orrery in perspectives it would reflect
little credit on us, did we not shoui the politicos of each stctr in the
light where it would shine most bright !! !"
I shall not notice the farrago, Cif syntactical blunders anti
new-(angled punctuation to which the signatdrb of Alpha is
appended. 1 can make a grain or allowance for this pods
fellow, on account of the everlasting echoes which make such a
•
' confused npise in the cavernous regions of his cranium.
The uoutiimatioa of " Walter Gordo" is More than aver a