The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1846-10-06 00:00:00

PROFESSIONAL QUACKERY.

Doctor Parker Peps, one of the Court Physicians, and
a man of immense reputation for assisting at the increase
of great families, was walking up and down the drawing-
room with his hands behind him, to the unspeakable ad-
miration of the family surgeon, who had regularly puffed
the case for the last six weeks among all his patients,
friends, and acquaintances, as one to which he was in
hourly expectation day and night of being summoned, in
conjunction with Doctor Parker Peps.
" Well, Sir," said Doctor Parker Peps, in a round,
deep, sonorous voice, muffled for the occasion, like the
knocker ; " do you find that your dear lady is at all roused
by your visit ?"
" Stimulated, as it were ?" said the family practitioner,
faintly, bowing at the same time to the Doctor, as much
as to say, " Excuse my putting in a word, but this is a
valuable connexion."

Mr. Dombey was quite discomfited by the question.
He had thought so little of the patient, that he was not in
a condition to answer it. He said that it would be a sa-
tisfaction to him if Doctor Parker Peps would walk up
stairs again.
"Good ! We must not disguise from you, sir," said
Doctor Parker Peps, " that there is a want of power in
Her Grace the Duchess—l beg your pardon ; I confound
names ; I should say in your amiable lady. That there is
a certain degree of languor, and a general absence of elas-
ticity, which we would rather--not—"
" See," interposed the family practitioner, with another
inclination of the head. _ _ _

" Quite so," said Doctor Parker Peps, " which we
would rather not see. It would appear that the system of
Lady Cankaby—excuse me : I should say of Mrs. Dom-
bey : I confuse the names of cases—"
" So very numerous," murmured the family practitioner
—" can't be expected I'm sure—quite wonderful if other-
wise—Doctor Parker Peps's West End practice—"
" Thank you," said the Doctor, " quite so. It would
appear, I was observing, that the system of our patient
has sustained a shock, from which it can only hope to
rally by a great and strong—"
" And vigorous," murmured the family p"actitioner.
" Quite so," assented the Doctor—" and vigorous ef-
fort. Mr. Pilkins, here, who from his position of medical
adviser in this family—no one better qualified to fill that
position, I am sure."
" Oh!" murmured the family practitioner.
from Sir Hubert Stanley !
" You are good enough," returned Doctor Parker Peps,
"to say so. Mr. Pilkins, who, from his position, is best
acquainted with the patient's constitution, in its normal
state (an acquaintance very valuable to us in forming our
opinions on these occasions), is of opinion with me, that
nature must be called upon to make a vigorous effort in
this instance; and that, if our interesting friend the
Countess of Dombey—l beg your pardon; Mrs. Dombey
—should not be—"

" Praise

Able,"-;aid the family practitioner.
"To make that effort successfully," said Doctor Parker
Peps, " then a crisis might arise, which we should both
sincerely deplore."
With that, they stood for a few seconds looking at the
ground. Then, on the motion—made in dumb show—of
Doctor Parker Peps, they went up stairs ; the family
practitioner opening the room door for that distinguished
professional, and following him out with most obsequious
politeness.

MR. WAKLEY'S PERSEVERANCE AND STYLE
OF SPEAKING.
(From Fraser's Magazine.)
An amusing instance of Mr. Wakley's determined per-
severance occurred on the last day but one of the session
which has just closed. All the public business had been
disposed of; the paper containing the notices of the pro-
ceedings for the day was, with one exception, a blank ;
and but few members were present in the house. Among
them were the Home Secretary and his underlings, and a
few members notorious for their approval of the Poor-
law. Sir George Grey was observed, every now and then,
to turn an anxious eye to the green door, evidently hoping
that some one would or would not make his appearance.
The explanation was found in the notice-paper. The one
exception to the general blank consisted of a notice by
Mr. 'Wakley that he would bring before the house the
case of the Haydock Lodge Lunatic Asylum. This was
the shadow that darkened their fair prospect of a holiday.
But Mr. Wakley might be persuaded or cajoled into giv-
ing way, or he might not come; and so the threatened
exposure, which the government had reason to dread,
might not be made. At length in came Mr. Wakley, who
strode up to his seat with an awful air of determination.
Now the play began. First some personal friend of the
hon. member, and supporter of the Poor-law, began talk-
ing to him in a friendly way, urging how inconvenient it
would be thus, at the very last gasp of the session, to
bring forward a long series of charges. But Mr. Wakley
only shook his head and knit his brows, folding his arms
with a sly smile, as much as to say, No, it won't do.
This shot having missed, Sir George Grey went across to
the immovable tribune, and, with the blandest air of aris-
tocratic condescension, put to him how extremely outrc:
would be his threatened proceeding; that there was
scarcely a house to listen to him ; that the country would
overlook the case ; that the doors of the Home-office
would be open to him ; that every justice should be done,
and so on : but it was of no avail. Even Sir James Gra-
dam could not have succeeded. Then how much less Sir
George Grey ! The honourable member was still obdu-
rate. Another scheme was then tried. A message came
down from the House of Lords, demanding a conference.
It was the Home Secretary's duty to name the members.
When the list was read, it was observable that the Speaker
pronounced the name of Mr. Wakley with peculiar em-
phasis and unction ; for he, too, would not have been
sorry had the honourable member relented. One by one
the members went up to the Lords, Sir George Grey
himself at their head ; but Mr. Wakley, who seemed irate
at what he supposed a manoeuvre to defeat his object,
flatly refused to stir. He was afraid lest in his absence
some scheme should be devised to defeat him. Folding
his arms, he stretched himself at full length on his seat,
saying, in reply to calls on him to go, " No, no, I shall
lose my chance !" And there he remained obdurate,
alike to the tetchy remonstrances of the Home Secretary
and the earnest pleading of his friends. Constituted as
the House of Commons is, it required no ordinary amount
of moral courage thus to persist in the discharge of a
troublesome and self-imposed duty. At last he rose and
made a speech of several hours' duration, full of extraor-
dinary details, and his reward came in due time when the
newspaper reports appeared, and it was found that he had
given a last kick to the Poor-law Commission. A man
with such perseverance in a cause where the credit is often
in inverse ratio to the trouble, must succeed, and deserves
to do so.
Mr. Wakley's style of speaking is the most simple and
unaffected. He has been too busily engaged in the hard
work of life to have had much time to bestow on oratory.
He has the appearance of a provincial, and has also the
accent of one; the associations thus excited still further
negative the idea of polish or preparation. You might
fancy, but for the knowledge of passing events, not less
than of subjects of higher order, which his speeches dis-
play, that be was some country farmer suddenly smitten
with a passion for speech-making. The structure of his
speeches is quite inartfficial, and the language usually the
most simple and colloquial of every-day life. It is plain,
even homely, without being inelegant ; a manliness of
sentiment and a quiet self-possession in the speaker, im-
part a kind of dignity to the most ordinary expressions.
Mr. Wakley does not so much make speeches, as deliver
the thoughts which burden his mind on any given subject,
with frankness and sincerity. Even hard words do not
come offensively from him, such is his good-humour and
the amenity of his disposition. He constantly displays
great shrewdness of perception, unmasking the motives
of opponents with a masterly power, and, at the same
time, with an avoidance of coarse imputation. Yet be
can be sarcastic when he chooses ; but his sarcasm is
more in the hint conveyed, and in the knowing look of
face and tone of voice, than in any positively cutting ex-
pressions. He handles the scalpel with delicacy and skill,
never cutting deeper than is absolutely necessary. Some
of his " points" have, from time to time, told remarkably
well ; such, for instance, as that in which he described
the Whig ministry as being made of " squeezable " ma-
terials- That one expression contributed considerably
towards gaining for him the position he holds in the esti-
mation of the House of Commons.
Upon the whole, Mr. Wakley contrasts favourably
with his colleague in the representation of Finsbury. At
first sight he is not so captivating or prepossessing as Mr.
Duncombe, but he has more sterling stuff in him, and is,
in all probability, more to be depended upon. Appear-
ances are against him ; they are in Mr. Duncombe's fa-
vour. The latter has a careless, thoughtless,—nay, if
one may be allowed the term,—an innocent expression of
countenance : the former has a peculiar habit of contract-
ing the eye-brows ; and a keen and restless eye and peer-
ing expression set you at first on your guard as against a
scheming, designing man, not overburdened with scruples
or with the milk of human kindness. But the longer
Duncombe speaks, the less strong is the prestige in his
favour, the more suspicious you grow that he is careless
of everything except personal display and producing an
effect. Mr. Wakley, on the other hand, wins on you as
he proceeds. The frown relaxes ; the face, welch had
been too pale for an earnest man, recovers its colour, and
a good-humour or an evident sincerity propitiate favour
and confidence. As has already been said, Mr. Wakley

Oct. 6, 1846.

rather takes up questions for their own sake, Mr. Dun-
combe for his own. With the latter it is all holiday work
and fun : Chartism is a capital stake to gamble with.
True, he sometimes sails rather close to the wind, but
there is pleasure in the risk : it is like yachting in rough
weather; the excitement balances the danger. But with
Mr. Wakley, grievance-hunting is a very serious business.
It is the occupation of his life. As his time is very valu-
able, be might do better with it than bestow it on the
public; yet he works away harder than ever. Be cer-
tainly makes greater sacrifices than Mr. Duncombe, if
he does not win quite as much ephemeral applause, or
obtain it quite as easily. It may be urged that his patri-
otism is all prospective ; at least, however, he pays down
a heavy deposit. Upon the whole, too, be has done much
good, if, in the course of his career, he has also caused
some evil. The errors of the Lancrt, and the occasional
violences of an enterprising demagogue determined to rise
in the world, may be forgiven in the man who has done
so much to unmask the minor tyrannies which oppress
the pauper population of this country.