The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-03-22 00:00:00

Vottrp.

HOPE.

IN !lope, a Icing doth go to war;

In Hope, the lover loves along ;
In Hope, the merchant sails afar ;
In Hope, just men do suffer wrong;
In Hope, the ploughman sows his seed :
Thus Hope serves millions in their need.
Then, dearest, faint not like the rest;
Whatever chance—hope thou the best I

I DO not, trust me, grieve for my lost wealth ;
But that the guest no longer seeks the dwelling
Whence wealth has vanished, does, I own, afflict me.
Like the ungrateful bees, who wanton fly
The elephant's broad front when thick congeals
The dried-up dew, they visit me no more.
'Tis true, I think not of my wasted fortunes;
As fate deciees, so riches come and vanish;
But I lament to find the love of friends
Hangs all unstrung because a man is poor.
And then mith poverty comes disrespect;
From disrespect does self-dependence fail;
Then, scorn and sorrow following, overwhelm
The intellect ; and, when the judgment fails,
The being perishes ;—and thus, from poverty
Bach ill that pains humanity proceeds I

VARIETIES.

Tim FLEAS.—The trade of torturing animals is old enough;
the only novelty is supplied by varying the victims; and in
proportion as these diminish in size, the amount of torment
inflicted increases. To one dancing-bear succeed tribes of
dancing-dogs and riding-monkeys; and a solitary learned
,pig
is supplanted by a host of industrious fleas. "Industri4as' his
a very pretty term, by the way, to apply to the struggles of a
wretched little creature to escape from pain. The squirrel in
a whirling cage is very industrious, and the cockchafer spinning
on the pin which transfixes it is still more industrious. There
may be some excuse for teaching an elephant to perform tricks,
because it exhibits the sagacity and docility of tha animal ;
the patient perseverence of the tormentor, also, may be consi-
dered by some to be set-off against the cruelty of torturing ani-
mals which have no sagacity; but in the case of the fleas, there
is neither docility on the part of the tormented nor ingenuity
on the part of the tormentor. Ihe only. process of "training"
the flea to drag any load fastened to it, vs-that of putting it into
a tiny tread-mill, where, if it indulges its natural agility, it
knocks its head against a bit of wood, and so it learns to be
content with a less lively movement. Now, M. Bertolotto, the
flea-trainer, is in the habit of waking when he moves; but
only let us put on one of his feet a shoe with a few spikes inside
the sole, and set him in a place where he must per force keep
moving, and lie would be astonished at the proficiency he would
soon acquire in hopping. The only ingenious part of this ex-
hibition is the delicacy of the construction of the chains with
which the fleas are confined, round the body or the leg. All
the rest is childish. For instance, on the top of a musical box,
is a representation of an orchestra, with a dozen fleas fastened
in it, to each of which is tied a paper semblance of some musical
instrument; two couple of fleas yoked together are placed on a
bit of paper; the box is made to play, and the efforts of the in-
sects to get away are called "playing" and "dancing." On
another stand is placed a tower, with toy cannon; and a couple
of fleas chained, with paper figures stuck on their backs, crawl
round, while two others, fastened to a fine wire, to which a
lighted taper is attached, move it across the touch-holes of the
flute cannon and so let them off; and this is named "the siege
of Antwerp." This absurdity is exhibited in a decent first-
floor in Regent-street; and- is patronized by the Princess
Augusta and the nobility and gentry! M. Bertolotto is careful
toinform us that he "has no connection whatever with a man
who travels about the country, exhibiting a pretended fac-simile
of part of his exhibition." These, we suppose, are aristocratic
fleas: who knows but they ate indulged with a suck of the
blood royal?

True humility, while it brings to light our own sins, is ever
ttre to cover a multitude of the sins of others. The man who
is the mast sensible of his own failings, will always be heard
to talk the least of the failings of others. It is the proud man,
the proud professor of the Gospel, who is the reviling man,
the censorious professor. Pride takes a pleasure in bringing
to light the infirmities of others, that itself may b 9 exalted;
while humility delights in contemplating their excellencies,
that it may be laid by them stilt lower in its own esteem, and
be led to imitate their graces. The reason why we are censo-
rious and hard-hearted is simply this,—we have not the Spirit
clf Christ, and are none of his. Never let us deem ourselves
Christians, till we bear some resemblance to our meek, lowly,
and compassionate Master. The religion which he puts into
the heart of his followers, softens the character, sweetens the
temper, and enlivens all the tender affections of the soul, and
fills it with kindness, and with love.—Bradley's Sermons.

AN ACCOMPLISHED LOVER.—The following is from a Van
Dieman's Land Paper, The Colonir!.—Friday, August 24,
1832:—A POLICE INCIDENT.—Last week, a damsel was brought
to the police office, charged with putting one Mrs. Norah Mui-
lagan in bodily fear. Prisoner pleaded guilty, but begged that
the offence might be passed over, as she- had received an offer
of marriage from a gentleman, who, in all probability, would
turn her off, were she to be punished, and he to discover her
disgrace. To prove her veracity. she produced the following
epistle from her enamoured swain, which we strongly recom-
mend to the perusal of all those who protract their marriage by
long and tedious courtship :—" My dear Angel, this comes with
a pound of sausages, which I hope will find you in good health,
as it leaves me at present; I seed you last Sunday for the first
time, since which I have'nt had no peace fur thinking of your
dear self; I therefore will take it as a great favour it you will
marry me as early as possible, as I can earn by my profession
an excellent livelihood; I was rat-catcher and sow-geider to the
late Duke of York • I bleed horses, cures the cholerick mor-
bus and all other dumb animals, and have received a good
hedication, the children we shall have will get their laming free
gratis. I haVe been school-master in Mr. —'s family for the
last fortnight, and have already teached the eldest boy jography
and the manufacture of ginger beer ; and as for the second son,
I have made him the most best grammarer and rethmeticker of
all the lads I ever teached; so you see I have every chance of pros-
pering; I have bought a ring and apair of blankets,—l have writ-
ten to the governor for his permission, and requested the cler-
gyman to have us asked in church, he appears to be a very nice
sober man; I wanted him to go and have half a pint of rum,
biit he was too bashful. Please send me an answer, post paid.
—4 remain, my dear angel, your true love."
Among the singularities of the late Lord HuNrlrsozowxa,
whose eccentricities have been so frequently before the public,
Was the circumstance of his never receiving at his table, or ad-
mitting within his wails, the neighbouring nobility or gentry.
His Lordship always resided with her Ladyship, and part of
the family at Backminster park, ten miles from .Grantham, al-
though he possessed a spacious town residence in Hyde-park-
place. Had he survived his mother, the present Countess of
Dysart, now in her 93d year, he would have succeeded to that
Earldom, the splendid residence of Ham House, on the banks
of the Thames, and the baronial castle of Hilmingham, in
Suffolk. The family of Tollemache trace their descent in an
unbroken line from a noble Saxon family; and at Hilmingham
it an old doggrel inscription, which runs thus :
When William the Conqueror
Reigned with great fame.
Bentley was say seat,
And Talmash was my name.

Mancir.—ASparagus beds must now be formed. As to the
-first objection of cost, in the original formation of the beds, of
deep trenching, paving or flagging the excavation, and then
filling it with the rite-test and best manure, consoddated by
pressure, requiring, perhaps, a_greater quantity than ail the re-
maining quarters of the garden ; I, Martin, have the hardihood
to sav, that this may be avoided altogether, and that, so far as
the formation of the beds, no cost shalt be incurred. This, you
will say, makes all culture unnecessary! I will not go so far
to that; but I have a little bit of a story that will bear me out,
part of the way.—ln the year of the rebellion, a gentleman who
was a better gardener than politician, and who had a good as-
paragus bed, found it advisanle to shut up his garden and his
house, and, dismissing every servant but his herd, to go and
amuse: himself for a considerable time abroad. On returning,
in scuffling and clearing a gravel walk, many plants of aspara-
gus, of no mean dimensions, were perceived among the weeds,
which must have been caused by, sonic seeds having been car-
ried thither by the wind, or birds, from the adjoining beds.
One of those plants, a very large one,- was allowed to remain
as a proof-pieue, and it flourished in the walk for some years
after the-garden was restored to its former neatness and perfec-
tion. here them,. in the absence of alt cultivation, grew a strong
stein of aspaiagirs, annually—(where this plant is ,indigenous it
foutid growing on the sea shore, amidst gravel and stones)—
for it was kept to one shoot, and that a tough one, I'll warrant.
It proves, however, that the seed will grow, and grow stoutly,
witheat all the u.tual deep trenching. —Frac:Lail Csurdening, bJ
Duidd.