The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1844-12-17 00:00:00

afttranirt.

POETRY.

THE SHORTEST DAY.

(From Tail's Magazine for Decemser.)
Why, how is this ! past nine o'clock
I fear I'm very late;
I really thought, .t is so dark,
That it was only eight.
I shall be scolded terribly,
And nothing can I say
Except, what every body knows,
It is the shortest day!
It's very dark ! I cannot see
At all what I'm about :
Ay there—l knew A would be so—
My stockings wrong-side out.
It is not worth while getting up;
I care not what you say;
But rea ly we should slay in bed
All through the shortest day.
I cannot see to dress myself:
I shall be such a fright ;
But to be sure, it matters not,
The day is more like night.
The air is thick as thick pea soup,
You scarce can see your way ;
I'm half afraid to grope about
Upon the shortest day.
I wonder what blind people do,
Of optics quite bereft—
I've made a Wunder with my shoe,
My right foot's in my left !
Misfortunes never single come,
I've head old sages say,
And thus I'm bothered on all hands
Upon the shortest day.
I wish the sun would show his face :
Alas ! I must show mine,—
He's shrouded quite in murkiness,
And won't come forth to shine.
He's really very stingy now,
And won't bestow a ray,
To save our noses from lamp-posts
Upon the shortest day.
The men who make the Almanacks
Are very waggish folks,
But there's no reason why the world
Should suffer for their jokes
For though it's dull, it's very clear,
No matter what they say,
That there is not a day at all
Upon their shortest dr,y.
The morning star won't lend his light
To lead me to the latch,
I must find my own Ineirer—
Give me a patent match !
But were I fairly in the street,
A waggon or a dray
Might pulverise me in the fog,
And end my shorte.t day.
And thus all thro' this doleful time
We risk both life and limb,
One cannot stir an inch in peace
When all is dark and dim.
There is no antidote against
Such sorrows in array,
Except that nothing can last long
Upon the shortest day.

SELECTIONS.

v,TRICKS OF PICTURE-DEALERS.—Travellers should be
on their guard against the impositions practised by Vene-
tian picture-dealers, as even the most experienced con-
noisseur may easily be taken in by then,. Not long ago,
a gentleman visited a celebrated depOt of painting in
Venice, and happening to fancy a particular picture,
agreed, after some little bargaining with the dealer, to
purchase it. All was settled, but the gentleman insisted
on taking it borne with him, having his gondola at
band. " What 1." said the dealer, "have you any doubts
of my sending the original? Put your own seal on the
back and satisfy yourself." This was, however, declined
by the purchaser, who, sending for his servant, ordered
him to carry the picture down stai,s, in spite of the en-
treaties and remonstrances of the collector. Arriving at
his hotel, the gentleman, after a c'ose scrutiny, found a
copy neatly inserted in the frame behind the original ;
which copy he would have sealed had he suffered himself
to be prevailed upon. Of course he kept both ; the
dealer, as may readily be imagine 4, never appearing to
claim either.—Book qf Beauty.

ENGLISH SHEEP.—It is worthy of remark how steadily
the sheep of England have increased both in number and
weight as the breed has been improved, and the mode of
supplying them with food better understood. In 1698 Mr.
Gregory King calculated that there were in Great Britain
12,000,000 sheep ; in 1741 the number had increased to
16,640,000; in 1774, according to A t thur Young, the num-
ber was 25,589.754 ; in 1826, Mr. Luceck estimated them
to be 26,148,463; in 1834, Mr. M'Culloch stated them to
be 32,000,000, and the value of t'?-ir wool £7,000,000;
and not only have they during this reriod thus nearly
trebled in number, but they have at the same time nearly
doubled in their average weight. In 1710, according to
Mr. Davenant, the average weight of black cattle was only
3701b5. ; of calves, 50Ibs. ; of sheep and lambs, 481bs. ;
but it is now calculated by Mr. Youatt that the average
dead weight of the cattle sold at Smithfield is 656!b5. ; of
calves, 1441b5. ; and of sheep and lambs 90Ibs. Youatt
on Cattle, p. 257.) In 1732, the number of sheep and
lambs sold at Smithfield was 514.700 ; these had increased
to 1,647,316 in 1835, and to 1,854,320 in 1843.—Farmer's
Magazine.

THE PASS OF KOORD CABOOL.—The pass of Koord
Cabool, the bridge at Sourkab, are white with bones !
they witnessed the annihilation of an army; 15,000 hu-
man beings lie in the chain of defiles between Jellalabad
and Cabool. Retribution was at hand. Pollock trod
the Kyber, that had always been bought over, and joined
the gallant Sale, no longer burrowing, for he bad soundly
thrashed the victorious Arneer ; and jointly they pushed
on to wreak a fearful vengeanc,.. It was mournful to see ;
the guns ground into powder the bones around ; and many
saw it who had fathers and brothers there. Eight short
months had passed since the martyrdom of a whole army.
In every stunted bush, and lo ! a skeleton—that of a
camp-folower or his helpmate, for the sepoy and Eu-
ropean died more openly. On this rising ground was the
last stand made ; there, the battalion of the Queen was
cut to pieces. Go cn, and number the dead. Tell how
Hamilton fell ; Bott, Blair, and the young Hardyman ;
Nicolls and Stewart, with their bluff rough-riders, their
blue jackets crimsoned ere they sunk ; " red men," in-
deed. (The Affghans described Nichol]; and his troop as
reddened with blood.) Hideous! mummies set up in
mockery preserved by the snow of winter and the sum-
mer's sun, to strike with greater awe those who might
follow. Set up as objects of hatred and scoffing, the
insensible remains had been hooted at for a season, and
cursed by the Moslem as he passed along. The bleach-
ing bones at Gundamuck were collected: all—aged and
youthful, Hindostanee and white man—were inhumed to-
gether.—Asiatic Journal.
MESMERISM DERIVED FROM ANCIENT EGYPT.—The
Egyptians, according to Diodorus Siculus, regarded Isis
as the author of a good part of what is known in medicine,
through dreams with which she inspired such patients as
had recourse to her " advice." Mins Aristides, who
lived under the Antonines, gives just such an account of
his being healed by mendicaments, indicated to him in a
dream, in a temple of Esculapius. What is this but clair-
voyance and mesmeric agency ? Marcus Antonius him-
self acknowledges, with thanks, his having been healed
in the same temple, by similar means : that is, by curative
means, the knowledge of which was given him in dreams.
(Mare. Antonin. lib. sec. ultim.) This prescribing of
such persons for themselves and others in dreams, or in a
dream-like state, is a phenomenon by no means peculiar
to modern times or its re-appearance under the process
taught us by Mesmer. While it puts into our hands a
key to much of what seems enigmatical, about the
oracles of the heathen world, it tells strongly for that
portion of mesmeric agency as relates to artificial sleep,
and the state into which persons so subjected are thrown.
The oracles were first consulted in cases of sickness; the
suffering persons slept in the temple, after they had gone
through some ceremonies of preparation. In the dreams
which followed (as alleged), they frequently came to the
knowledge of the means proper for the cure of their
diseases, and ascribed this to the inspiration of the divinity,
to whom the temple they slept in was consecrated.
Sometimes, instead of the patients, the priest (or priest-
esses) of the oracle had these dreams, and communicated
them to the former. If the dsease yielded to the treat.
ment pointed out, the remedy which had been employed
was inscribed on a votive tablet, and hung up in the tem-
ple. How the patients in the temples were thrown into
a sleep, or other ecstatic condition, we have no positive
accounts. Suffumigations, frictions, and different other
processes, not without affinity to those used in mesmer-
ising, were, as we know, employed in preparing those who
came to consult the oracle.—Medical Times.

CAUSES OF IRISH MISERY.—That we are justified in
attributing the poverty, the misery, and the crimes of the
Roman Catholic peasantry to the constant state of agita-
tion and excitement in which they are kept by their lea-
ders, and the bad example set them by their religious in-
structors, and not to any pecuniary burdens (legisla-
tive or local) imposed upon them, we can easily prove, by
a reference to the condition of that portion of the Irish
people who are not subject to their control or corrupted
by their influence. It is well known that in the province
of Ulster land fetches at least one-third more rent than in
either of the other provinces, although the quality of the
soil is by no means so good. Yet what is the condition
of the people ? what their habits ? what the appearance of
the country in this less favoured district? We shall let
an authority often quoted by O'Connell answer our ques-
tion. Mr. Kohl tells us, that " the main root of Irish
misery is to be sought in the indolence, levity, extrava-
gance, and want of energy of the national character."
And again, in passing from that portion of the country
where the majority of the inhabitants profess the Roman
Catholic religion, to that in which the great bulk of the
population are Protestants, or Presbyterians, the same
writer says—" On the other side of these miserable hills,
whose inhabitants are years before they can afford to get
the holes mended in their potato-kettles—the most indis-
pensable and important article of furniture in an Irish ca-
bin—the territory of Leinster ends, and that of Ulster
begins. The coach rattled over the boundary line, and
all at once we seemed to have entered a new world. lam
not in the slightest degree exaggerating when I say, that
every thing was as suddenly changed as if by an enchan-
ter's wand. The dirty cabins by the road-side were suc-
ceeded by neat, pretty, cheerful looking cottages; regular
plantations, well-cultivated fields, pleasant little cottage-
gardens, and shady lines of trees, met the eye on every
side. At first I could scarcely believe my own eyes, and
thought that at all events the change must be merely local
and temporary, caused by the better management of that
particular estate. No counter change, however, appeared ;
the improvement lasted the whole way to Newry ; and,
from Newry to Belfast, every thing continued to show me
that I had entered the country of a totally different people
—namely, the district of the' Scottish settlers, the active
and industrious Presbyteriens."—Blackwood's Magazine.