The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-06-28 00:00:00

the miseries of their fellow citizens, and who must be poor
themselves were they not the ready and willing instru-
ments to fan the flames of discord and place their selfish
ends between the possibilities of rational compromise and
humane reconciliation. There are multitudes of such
persons, blinded by intercourse with folly and crime, har-
dened by custom, and regardless of the pangs they in-
flict. And it is dreadful to imagine the qUantity of dis-
tress that is endured in every street and corner of this,
million-peopled metropolis in consequence of legal pro-
ceedings alone. Look at the law list. How are this
vast multitude of hungry attorneys and all the other fol-
lowers of the. law to be supported? By the continued
infliction of the deepest and most cureless wrongs upon
thousands of their fellow creatures ; by the utter aban-
donment -of. every social feeling ; by committing acts
which would bring down indignation upon the most sa-
vage of.mankind,—for the Indian, with his knife and to--
mahawk, is not so deliberate, ruthless, and inexorable as
the needy lawyer with his legal instruments. In the one
case there are noble though perverted passions afloat—
revenue, danger, triumph.; in the other, nothing but
what is mean, cowardly, and malicious. The husband by
the sick bed of his dying wife, the father at the head of his
orphan family, the man in business-with a',l his credit and
sources of creditable existence at.stake, move neitherpity
nor forbearance ; our prisons are crammed with such,
while humanity is outraged, and the whole frame of 'so-
ciety injured, by their vile treatment.
This is the real and unexaggerated state of things—a
state of things which the truly upright and honourable
members of the legal profession lament, perhapS, more
than any other class; but they are only a small minority;
and though they lament they cannot prevent the horrors
of the system. One of these, indeed, may, in his own
practice, interpose to save -many a deserving individual
from distress; but, on the other hand,.one low and un-
principled scoundrel, of what is softly called by his bre-
thren "sharp practice," has it in his power to, and actually
does, inflict greater evils arid Wretchedness'in a single
year, than the levy of all the imposts-of church and state
within a sphere of like extent. Suppose such a fellow,
and there are hundreds of them within the bills of mor,-
tality, to pocket on an average £lO for every writ lie
issues to doom a man or woman to prison. That lie may
gain only_a hundreds pounds there must be ten scenes of
great and often of infinite oppression and misery—there
must be blasted hopes and embittered feelings to more
than thrice ten hearts—there must be insult and broken
fortunes to ten parties—and these must extend to a wide
circle in all the ramifications of business and life; and
what is the end? The creditor in a worse situation than
before;—the lawyer thriving luxuriously on this one of
the ten, fifteen, or thirty hundreds of pounds so grievously
wrung from integrity and industry.
The law reforms which the Lord Chancellor is carry,-
ing through will do much towards improving the ad-
ministration of justice, and substituting common sense
for jargon and juggle; but we look upon the bill of the
Solicitor-General to be far more important to society
than all the rest put together; and we do trust that, how-
ever late in the session it may be, it will not be post-
poned. How many aching hearts, and how many deplo-
rable death-beds, would have been spared had such a
measure been enacted when proposed in 18301 «hy
should another year of plunder and barbarity be added to
the score ? why should thousands of men and women still
continue to be buried in loathsome gaols in the fangs of
the infamous retainers of the law, and their more in-
famous employers? By a return this very week laid
before parliament, it appears that in the Marshalsea of
Dublin alone there are seven hundred and eighteen
human beings incarcerated, whose, debts amount in all to
£1564 155., and one penny. For little more than two
pounds each, these seven hundred persons are deprived
of the most glorious privilege of mankind—liberty. In
Ireland, the same return strews there are five thousand
six hundred and eighty-eight prisoners for debt;--how
many more are there in England? and all this usefulness,
ndustry, and hope cut off—all this evil and wretchedness
nflicted, without one rational or redeeming palliation

The marriage of the Grand Duke of Tuscany with the sister
of the Kiag of Naples, was celebrated at Naples on the 7th
instant.

A YANKEE THUNDERER.—One of the correspondents to a
"Merryky " journal thus vociferateth :—" The destroying angel
has passed his wand over the boasted descendant of POcahontas,
and the wreck of mortality has sunk into its original elements.
John Randolph is no more ! "—No more than what ? No more
than a dead Yankee, we suppose! In the course of his lucu-
bration, the writer says that the expiring Randolph was vastly
particular about pronunciation, which, he being almost inarti-
culate, was a sort of superfluity.—Age.
It is seldom we have to speak in any but terms of approba-
tion of the conduct and management of the Post-office ; but if
it be really true that parcels sent by coaches have been broken
open by the Post-office authorities, to see whether any evasion
of the postage had taken place, we trust that the person so used
will not quietly submit to an unauthorised act which strikes at
the root of all confidence.—Morning Herald.

LADIES LL.D. &c.—The Legislature of Indians have char-
tered a college, to be called the Chriitian College, in which
degrees are to be conferred on both males and females. There
are to be degrees of Doetress of Natural Science, of English
Liturature, of Belles' Letters, of Fine Arts, and of Arts and
Sciences. What a triumph the improvement would have
afforded to Mary Woolstoncroft, if she were still living!—
Limerick Herald.

NOT BAD.—Mr. David Roche, one of our invaluable repre.
sentatives, was erreduntered immediately after landing at Kings.
town by a friend, who—surprised at meeting him in Ireland
while so many great interests were still under discussion in
Parliament,—asked him, where he was going ? " Going !"
quoth the Member—" I am going to wait-a-while."—Limerick
Herald.
The following joke is rather too good to be passed over.
Brougham, when dining the other day at Lansdown House,
asked- the two-penny tomtit, Moore, why Miss Kelly was a
practical foe to the stage ? Tom tried to get a Team to replace
the former glance on -his faded eye, and said lie couldn't say.
"'Why, man, (returned the Lord Harry) because she is nigh
giving a .Patthian kick to the Drama! "--Age.
A VIAL JoKE.—The immortal, ever to be remembered, and
never to be forgotten Chancellor, whose voice from the Wool-
sack *is never heard unaccompanied by the perfume of the
odoriferous Eau de Vie, hearing that Don Juan Vial, the new
Spanish Minister, was a very sober man—exclaimed in all the
exuberance of a sixteenth glass—" How could he be otherwise—
who ever heard of a Vial being a bottle companion in the proper
sense of the word." A very vile joke this ! —Aye.
COMPLIMENT TO THE FEMALE SEX.—In one of the ancient
councils, it was proposed as a question of doubt, " Whether
women were human creatures or not?" and, after a long debate,
the question was decided in favour of their humanity.—Limerick
Herald.
During the Protectorship of Cromwell, it happened that a
secret expedition being about to sail, one of the fanatical
preachers, whom Cromwell was obliged to please sometimes,
although he generally disapproved of their conduct, came to
the Protector and demanded an audience. When this was
granted, he said, "The Lord wishes to know where the secret
expedition is going?" "The Lord knows already," replied
Cromwell, "but thou shalt know, for thou shalt go with it;"
and he sent him on board the fleet.—Literary Gazette.
DEFINITION OF A PLEDGE--Mr. O'Connell, on Monday, in
the house, defined a pledge thus—" A member merely pledged
himself to his own opinions, which be was at liberty to change
when he pleased." This comes very at after his recent le-
ranting upon Repeal. But his definition is not true; at least as
regards Ireland; for here the members—God bless them !
pledged themselves, not to their own opinions, but to Mr.
O'Connell's whim and fancy, which he was at liberty to change
when he pleased, and they bound to change with him.—Water-
ford Mail.
EVERY BODY HAS HIS BUBBLY JOCK.—The following anec-
dote of the late Sir Walter Scott has a genuine . appearance,
and we do not recollect of ever seeing it published. A gentle-
man, in conversing with the illustrious author,. remarked that
he believed that it was possible that perfect happiness might be
the lot of somebody or other. Sir Nkralter dissented. " Well,"
said the gentleman, " there is an idiot, who, I'm certain, will
confirm my opinion; he seems the very beau ideal of animal
contentment. The daft individual was snooving along, hum-
ming to himself, when Sir Walter Scott addressed " Neel,
Jaime, hog are ye the day ?" " Brawley, ou brawlev," answered
he. " Now, Jamie, have ye plenty to eat and drink ?" "Ou
aye." " And keep you warm ?" "Ou aye." " And are a'
the folk kind to ye ?" "Ou aye." " There," said the poet's
antagonist,. crowing, "is a perfectly happy creature." "Not
so fast," continued Sir Walter. "Is there naething, Jamie,
that bathers you at a' ?" "Ou aye," said the idiot, changing
his merry look, " there's a muckle bubbly jock that follows me
wherever I gang." " Now," said Sir Walter, " you see from
this that the very simplest and stupidest of mankind are haunted
by evil of some kind or other—in short, every one has his bub-
bly jock."—Edinbargls Post.
THE LAIRD OF LOGAN AND MRS. BUCHAN.—The singular
religious sect of the Buchanites, which originated with- this
lady, took its rise chiefly in the burgh of Irvine and its neigh-
bourhood. From thence, led by the wild fancies of their dis-
ordered apostle, they departed in a body towards Dumfries-
shire, where, ultimately, they ascended to the top of a high hill,
persuaded that, after due fasting and prayer, they should be
carried immediately up into heaven ! Ihe journeyings, habits,
and.manners of these bewildered, yet harmless enthusiasts, was
full of strange and romantic incident, and has, latterly, been
made familiar to the public through the pen of one of the popular
talewriters of the day. On their route, passing by the house of
Logan, the laird, who, prObably, was unaware of their approach,
happening to be in the way, and struck by the singularity of
their motley appearance, was irresistibly led to inquire of their
inspired leader the object of their pilgrimage. "o'. sweet sir,"
answered the devout heroine, "we are on our way to' the' New
Jerusalem." " Indeed," replied Logan,' without waiting fur
ther explanation, "then, g.ncle'folk,,l -heartily wish you a safe
journey; I am glad to find it, but, faith," till now, I kept na
that Logan-house lay in that road." ,
ANGLING.—At Loch Sketrow, near Lochenbreck, and about
six 'miles from Gatehouse, ,the fishing is excellent, and the
scenery picturesquely grand in, some points, and .sublimely so
i
in others. The lake s of.censiderable size, and is studded with
islands, smile of which are beantifullv fringed and .wooded.
One of them would afford scope enough for a house and garden,
along with grass for a small flock of goats or sheep; and might
easily be formed into a crack residence for a hermit or modern
" Lady of the Lake." The largest island is frequented by at
least one brace of eagles, which build their nest on the tops of
the highest trees. At the same spot herons build in spring, and
lodge in summer, that they may be near a capital fish market,
'nd find little difficulty in treating themselves, and their greedy
sroung, to a capital dinner and breakfast, of the finest trout.—
The herons are old stagers, the eagles new-corners; and this
year the neighbbouring tenant witnessed a pitched battle between
the first class of Scottish feathered beligerents. The herons
said, or thought, "the island is ours; you have no business here
at all; the mountains may be yours, but not so the valleys, and
you must not presume to squat upon our property," To this
doctrine the eagles demurred, seeing there were plenty of trees
to spare, which owed no obligation to the hand of man; and
from words, if words were spoken, the parties immediately came
to blows. The eagles had the advantage of the le .e taliunis—the
herons in numbers ; and though the battle was a tough one,
numbers prevailed, and the eagles were finally beaten off. The
victors, however, were generous, and permitted the enemy to re-
tire with the honours of war, and locate themselves onl.he island
next in siza to their owm—Dumfries Gautier.