The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1835-06-05 00:00:00

THE MISERIES OF HUMAN LIFE !

To be in debt. and have nothing to_pay.
Co wish to talk, but have nothing to sir,
To get tired of people who won't go away,
Is next to a curse ;
To live a bachelor all your life,
Or be tied to a breeder of—quarrels and strife,
And call a she demon like her "your wife,"
Is ten times worie.
To wear old clothes that no tailor'would mend,
To be out of cash, and write to a friend
Who tells you he never has money to lend,
Is a sad complaint;
A young lady to dream she has changed her name,
And, waking, to find it was only a dream,
And that to the dear youth she has yet no claim,
Would vex a saint.
To know one who torments you, by 'drawing you out,'
And by talking of things you know nothing about,
Or to state things as facts, of whose truth there's some doubt
La! what an esposis!
To be taxed with some fact which you'd fain deny—
To tell a " good story" and somebody by
Slyly whispers his neighbour—"Now that's a lie !"
Makes you look somewhat rosyi
To get witty replies, and yet feel that they sting—
To know how, and yet nut to be asked to sing—
To hear some one whisper—" Who's that pert thing?"
Would an angel provoke ;
To be gulping your dinner when others have done—
To get no one to laugh when you make a good pun—
To lose a large pool when the game's nearly won,
Is really no joke.
A spruce matron to find that she's no way increased—
A fair lassie to be what some folk call barefaced,
And a figure where plenty is seen, but no waist.

Is a horrible bore;
To be deeply in lore, and bereft of all hope,
With a beautiful heiress, who will not elope—
And then, Lord ha' mercy ! resort to the rope !
Why, your sorrows are o'er.

Mitt..—We are informed that the Post Master General has
acceded t'. the proposition of extending the London Mail to
Birkenhead ; to commence running on the sth of July next.
It is understood that the mail will leave Liverpool at a quarter
after eight A.M., arriving in London at the same hour the fol-
lowing morning.—Chester Courant.
ANECDOTE OF DRYDEN.—Dryden being with the Earl of
Mu!grave (afterwards Duke of Buckingham,) at bis seat, near
Whitby, in Yorkshire, they agreed to play at bowls for a wager,
and promised that neither of them should try the ground be-
forehand; but in the night,Dryden's servant 'happened to dis-
cover his lordship by moonlight taking his distances, and mea-
suring his casts, and informed his master. He took no notice
of it, but the next day after he had bowled, when Lord Mel-
grave, as he delivered-his bowl, cried out, "My life, Dryden,
to a horse-dung that I beat von." Lay me an even wager, my
lord," said the poet, "and I will take it up."

PrroviDENTrat, ESCAPE.—An occurrence happened in this
town on Saturday last which threw into a paroxysm of distress
a large concourse of spectators. A quantity of cotton was being
delivered from the upper floor of one of the high warehouses
in Chapel-street as a lady passed along the footpath inside of
the cart which was receiving it, attended by a little girl of eight
or nine years of age, carrying a parasol. 'I he latter accidentally
put her foot into the loop of the rope which lay on the flags, and
in an instant was whisked up into the air by the descent of a
bag at the other end of the rope. Before the men at the
jigger could be stopped by the shrieks of the spectators, the
little sufferer, suspended by the ankle, had ascended to the third
floor, the door of which was open, and into which she was drawn,
still holding her parasol. In a few minutes she was well enough
to walk away, apparently less discomposed than the lady.

PATIENCE OF MARRIED PEOPLE.—One of the great officers
of state belonging to the seraglio of his highness has just wed-
ded a lady whose face he had never seen before marriage, (such
being the law of the country), and who had as little pretensions
to beauty as the husband himself. The day after her marriage.
the bride asked her liege lord to which of his friends he would
permit her to discover her face—" To all the world -madam,"
tartly said he, "except to me." "Patience," replied she, "you
must now make the best of it." " Patience' madam," retorted
the husband, " I have none." "You don't do yourself justice,"
says she, "you have much more than your share; for fitty years
you have had under your eyes the most horrible nose one could
possibly see, and you have not yet resolved to get rid of it.—
Le Cameleon.

The following is an extract from a letter written by the cele-
brated Indian chief, Kahekewaquonaby alias Peter Jones:—
" I am happy to inform you that my health during the past year
has been pretty good, with the exception of a few days' illness
last summer. My dear Wife also enjoys good health, much
better than when she was in her own native country. Our
missions in this country continue about the same as last year;
there is, however, good news from the St. Clair mission, where
our efforts for a long time had been baffled, and also from the
missions along the south shore of Lake Superior, where many
of the poor Indians have turned to the Lord with their whole
hearts, and as a proof of the reality of the change wrought on
their minds they have thrown away their medicine bags, which
contained their pow-wow stuff, and which they valued above
gold and silver. One of our Indian exhorters from this mis-
sion, (Credit.) by the name of Thomas Magee, a faithful, zea-
lous man, went last spring to the St. Clair mission for the pus-
pose of labouring in conjunction with the missionary there, fur
the conversion of the poor drunken and deluded Indians, and I
are glad to say that the last accounts from that mission were
most encouraging, that a few had already come over on the
Lord's side. I believe I gave you an account of my tour to
the Sant St. Marie and Maikenau, in the summer of 1833, and
of the encouraging prospects of usefulness we there witnessed.
In August last I visited the Muncey town mission, in company
with my beloved Newish: we spent several days there, and had
a number of religious meetings with them. This being my first
visit to this tribe since my re?urn from England, I had much to
tell them about what I saw and heard in-good old England,
especially about my interview with the king, which seemed to
please them much. Four or five of the pagan Indians were
converted during our visit at Muncey town. The rest of the
mission stations. continue about the same with regard to reli-
gion, some very happy and strong—others weak and lame—
and a few instances of apostates. In general the Indians are
advancing in their temporal affairs; many of them keep cows,
oxen, pigs, horses, geese, and chickens, and grow wheat, Indian
corn, potatoes, &c. We indeed find that 'godliness is profit-
able unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and
of that which is to come.' I am sorry to say that our mission
schools do not. prosper as I could wish, owing to the society not
being aide, for want of more funds, to employ suitable teachers.
I wish we had a dozen or two of your good warm-hearted• En-
glish missionaries for this work. °We should like much (if we
had means) to have a sort of Indian seminary at this station,
for the purpose of teaching the higher branches of edtmatilm to
the most promising.of the' boys and7.girls of the'differentmis-
sinus. Such an institution would do much good in my opinion,
to the rising generation, and I have no doutit in a few years
many native missionaries and teachers, long headed chiefs, &c.
would be raised up, and our people would become useful niCal-
hers in society."

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COURT OF KING'S . BENCH, DISI3LIN.—MoNDAti,
JUNE 1.

JUDGMEN'I.
In the case of the King at the prosecution of Margaret Hainan,
r. the Rev. Mr. John Keenan and others.
Shortly before eleven o'clock Judges BURTON and Caton.-
TON took their seats on the bench.
The several traversers—the Rev. John Keenan, parish priest
of the parish of Clanduff, county Down ; the Rev, I'. Brady,
Roman catholic curate of said parish ; Edward Hainan, Fran-
cis Loughlan, and William Cox having attended to receive
judgment in this case yesterday, Judge
.But:Tos, at the sitting
of the court proceeded to address them as follows:
In this case bills of indictment having been found against you
for an assault committed upon the person of Margaret Hainan.
and removed by certiorari into this court, a trial took place, and
you have been all found guilty. No application has been made
to set aside the verdict—in truth, no application, grounded upon
such circumstances as are connected with the case. could have
been sustained--and we are to consider that the charges have
been satisfactorily proved. Even if we were at liberty to go
into evidence for the purpose of seeing whether the verdict
could be sustained, we could have no doubt upon our minds of '
the propriety of that verdict. Certain facts appear upon the
evidence of the trial, and upon the affidavits which seem to be
perfectly undisputed—l say "certain," because there have been
others raised of which we may doubt. In or about the year
1823 a marriage ceremony was performed by a presbyterian. .
clergyman between the prosecutrix and a man named M veran,
a Roman catholic, who separated from her about a year after.
About the year 1825 she hired as a servant with Edward Hainan,
one of the traversers, and continued in that capacity until about
the year 1829, when the marriage ceremony was celebrated be-
tween them by another presbyterian minister; from that period
to the time of the assault they cohabited as man and wife, and
had two children. The circumstance of the first marriage .of
the prosecutrix with M`lveran, by some means became known
to Mr. John Keenan, the priest of the parish in which she lived'
and to Mr. Brady, his curate; and they considering, as it ap-
peared, that this was an illicit connection, thought it right, or
took upon themselves as a matter of duty, to put an end to it;
and Mr. Brady, with that view, called several times at the house
of the prosecutrix. He went on the 29th of November, and
requested her to leave the house, which she refused to do; and
on the 3d of December following Mr. Keenan and his curate
went there together, when she was forcibly expelled from the
house with her young child. In that forcible expulsion all the
traversers concurred, so as to make all parties to the assault, it
being tinder the authority of Keenan and Brady that the other
three traverser• acted with them. They did not all act at the
same moment, but they all severally acted in the course of the
transaction. These matters, as I have just stated, are incon-
trovertibly true. That the expulsion was altogether against her
will—that she struggled against and resisted that expulsion--
and that her struggles were unavailing, are facts manifestly and
indisputably ti ue.
The learned judge in the course of his address to the travers-
ers said that this was an unlawful act and assumption of law-
ful authority on the part of the priests which it was quite clear
they had no right to in point of law ; they had no right to ex•
ercise a summary judgment in the way they had done with re-
spect to a Roman catholic than any other person in the parish.
The court sentenced the priests, Keenan and Brady, to pay
a fine of £2O each to the King, and the other traversers to a
fine of twenty shillings each. Keenan and Brady to enter into
recognizances, themselves in £lOO each and two sureties 1;50
each. The other three traversers £lO each, and two sureties
of £5 each.