The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-04-23 00:00:00

":71.1.-R2ETZ:ES.

-THE ODD FAMILY.—In the reign of William 111. there
lived iu Ipswich, in Suffolk, a family which, from the number
of peculiarities belonging to it, was distinguished by the name
of the " Odd Farriiiy." Every event, whether good or bad,
happened to this family on an odd day of the month, and every
one of them had something odd in his or her person, manner,
and behaviour; the very letters in their Christian names always
happened to be an 'odd number. The husband's name was
•Peter, and the wife's Rabah; they had seven children, all boys,
viz. Solomon, Roger; James, Matthew, Jonas, and Ezekiel.—
The husband had but one leg, his wife but one arm.—Solornon
was born blind of the left eye, and Roger lost his right eye by
an accident; James had his left car pulled off by a boy in a
quarrel, and Matthew was born with only three lingers on his
right hand; Jonas had a stump foot, and David was hump-
backed ; all these, except David, were remarkably short, white
Ezekiel was six feet two inches high at the age of nineteen; the
stump-footed Jonas and the hump-backed David got wives of
fortune, but no girls would listen to the addresses of the rest.
The husband's hair was as black as jet, and the wife's remark.
ably white, yet every one of the children's was red. The hus-
band had the peculiar misfortune of falling into a deep saw-pit,
where he was starved to death in the year 1701, and his wife,
refusing all kinds of sustenance, died in five days after him.
In the year 1703, Ezekiel enlisted as a grenadier, and, although
he was afterwards wounded in twenty-three places, he reco-
vered. Then Roger, James, Matthew, Jonas, and David, died
at different places, on the same day, in 1713, and Solomon and
Ezekiel were drowned together iu crossing the Thames, in the
year 1723.
THE BATTLE OF BANNOCKBURN.-011 the 24th of June, the
anniversary of the battle of Bannockburn, a band of amateur
. musicians, in commemoration of that interesting event, meet,
at six o'clock in the morning, in the front of a cottage at Caer-
ketan Craig, at the foot of one of the Pentland Hills, where
lives Gordon, the blind bard, and, with clarionets, and other
wind and stringed instruments, commence a concert with the
hl4l merry tune of " Hey, Johnny Cope, are ye waukin' yet ?"
froni'..zvhich, if Gordon does not soon come out, they change to
" 0 but= m" ye're lang o' comin," which they. give with such
a rr, tha'• t die very echoes are roused from their slumbers. At
length the •-ottage door opens, and the bard appears, his long
hair streaming,' 7. to the breath of the morning, and with his violin
he accompanies • his voice while he sings " Scots wha hae wi'
Wallace bled," a:"ter which a shout of the whole company is
raised, that night heard from Raveirig to Castle-Law. 'The
following song will stw. erve as a specimen of the lyrical talents of
this poet-musician :--'reos
-- • An, down in a viatain that looks sae green,
jeaaamiii!d pore.
de sae bonny 0,
Surrounded wi' be 'h, a wee cottage is seen,
Behind and before, afr:tutit's mono 0 ; • •
Kind nature has stret,d around the door,
he. biessin,s 0,
And wi' dowrets rare
p
Inn! d the air,
But the loveliest ilowet.if
e
an'
h my Jessy 0.
" 0, kind is her daddy,
to see,
When the sun's gane whint•jP7
•t he craigie 0 ;
l‘ly bonnet glistens o'er the leaA
An' down by the rustic briggtit • ,
An' blyth is her mammy spreaddn ..",•
the b
Wi' the supper sae clean an' sae
But kinder an' happier, and blytheroAa,erY oard
;
Is the smile an' the glance o' my Je3 t'sie O.
" 0 fortune be kind, an' up in the glen,'
Wi' the burnie rinnin by the end o't 0,
Bestow me a cot, wi' a but an' a hen.
And an acre or twa at the end o't 0 ;
An' send me an income sufficient to scare
Pale want frae the door o'-my housie 0 ;
Then farewell the world, its wiles and its caresr:,
An' welcome love an' my Jessy 0." ' ' 7.

ORIENTAL COMPLIMENTS.—The Begum (Princess)
some days subsequent to her quitting the camp at lit_ loumroo,
in 1826, wrote to the Commander-in-Chief, that she had 'urtPm
rest
e,
day or night, since she had parted with him. His Excel;
no
iu reply, said " that on his arrival at Cawnpore, he had‘,YeneY,
found
the boats which had been prepared for him, high and dry,'.l
the lowness of the river, but that the tears he had shed--4,} fromt
be thought of the period he should be absent from her prese:waen
—had been so abundant as to float the vessels, and enable h. '4"
to proceed on his voyage !" This was taken as a matter ‘im,
course, and not considered otherwise than it should have been.)9l'
—Major Archer's Tour through Upper India.
LIE SNUFF-TAKER AND SIR GEORGE ROSE.—Some time It
since, during the argument of a heavy cause in the Court of
Chancery, a-friend having in vain endeavoured to draw the at-
tention of the witty Sir George, then Mr. Rose, from his brief,
as a last resource presented him with a pinch of snuff. Sir G.,
however, on declining the offer, observed, with an air of solem-
nity, " Had the Creator intended my nose for a dust-hole, he
would not have turned it upside down."--The Lawyer."
Alderman Wood presents his compliments to the Editor of
the Age, and begs to assure him he has a great deal to say on
the Timber Duties."—The Editor of the Aye presents his com-
pliments to Alderman Wood, and with the most profound con-
sideration begs to assure him he does nut care a tinker's apos-
trophe what he says.
. 'I HE HISTORY AND MYSTERY OF THE INFLUENZA.—Dire
and dreadful has been the doings of the demon that has the duty
of distributing maladies amongst mankind in this metropolis
during the past week. He has evidently made an Easter offer-
ing to the sons of Esculapius, far exceeding that renowned blue
bugbear, the cholera.. We laughed at the cholera ; and for our
4, scepticism, we have a disorder sent amongst us that is not to be
sneezed at with impunity. We have—but hark!—the small still
voice of the poet of Cockaigne breaks upon our tickled tympa-
num, like water trickling from a pump after the last convulsive
gush of the gratuitous liquid—'tis Leigho Hunto singeth and
asketh—
What is it ails the women and the men, Sir,
All round about town, country, hill or glen, Sir—
Makes Leigho Hunto heavy with his pen,. Sir,
i
And London's Lions sickly n their den, Sir—.
Sets Aldermen all sneezing ('specially Wen, Sir)—
Gives weeping eyes, obscuring mortal ken, Sir—
Sets noses running at nine knots or ten, Sir—
Gives fits of coughing every now and then, Sir—
Affects all Clubs, from Crock's to " Cock and Hens," Sir—
Nay ? what's it all about—the wherefore, why, and when, Sir ?
Good Leigho Hunto, finish thy cadenza—
What the deuce is it but—the Influenza
The Influenza! oh ! sound abhorred ! " A mcnistrum hor-
rendum' " roars Raikes. " Infernal, chimes in Monson. "Cui
lasnen ademptum," chorus a phalanx of dandies, as blind as
pups on the Bth day. " Nigruque siiaillima cygno," adds, sotto
voce, what extiflguished man, Bayntun, with a woeful recollec-
tion of the " Black Swan " at York. It is " melancholy to
find that we've got," as Fergus O'Connor ejaculated, on find-
ing a solitary shilling in his breeches pocket. Call it an ePi-
demic, or a demi-epic, we have it; but, unlike Fergus with his
chilling, would be too happy to get rid of it. In royal closet-=-
in the luxurious boudoir or the Peeress—in the proud domicile
of Devon's Duke—in the .chateau of the Percy—as well as in
the chamber of the humble modiste—the attic of the " Count"
-of Ilowel and James " Counter"—the Pentenville
.parlour
of the Bank Clerk—and the innumerable` wO pair stairs back
of all the short-commonry of London—this fee to the creature
comforts of our existence, stalks unshackled, laving prostrate
Prince, Peer, Aristocrat, and Artisan—high and (ow, great and
small—one and all—obfuscated, flambergasted, expitlicated, and
floored with the snuffles.