The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-11-26 00:00:00

CHELMSFORD PETTY SESSION.

LOVE, COURTSUIP, AND MATBIMONY.—WiIIiam Barker, of
Woodhani Ferris, a decent-looking " married man," was
charged with attempting to break. the bonds of Hymen with a
broomstick,.and, the said bonds being rather touglr, damaging
in the effort Mrs. Barker's head.

A few short years ago, Master Barker reached the pinnacle
of manhood; there he sat for a time, dazzled by the rustic
beauties around him, and ejaculating—
" Indeed, I must a courting ago,
Though girls I am afraid of;
FOr truly now I want to know
What sort of stuff their made of."

To courting, then, he went with all his heart, and courting, of
course, brought on thoughts of matrimony. Visions of connubial
happiness, and social fire-sides, and children running to " lisp
their sire's return," rose upon his imagination, coupled, of
course, with one Miss Mary, to whom love—or something very
like it—had given a wonderful power over his bewildered senses,
Indeed, he could not help thinking—
" A wife would make good household stuff,
If she were downright clever ;
And Mary suits me well enough,
If she would let me have her."
To Mary he accordingly hurried, and after sundry gigglings,
and sighings, and hints of drowning, in all which—
" It seem'd as if his heart would break

The buttons off his jacket,"
Mary consented to let him have her, and all thingS went on
swimmingly for a time. But, alas ! " a change cause o'er 'the
spirit of his dream"—frowns began to flit along the horizon of
matrimony—the grumbling of the storm was heard in the dis-
tance—and he soon discovered that
--" An hour of bliss •
Is follow'd by an age of care."
For the first fortnight only the matrimonial barometer stood at
smiles and kisses—then it sunk to contradiction—then to sulky
—and, at last, to blows.' Finally: Master Barker threatened to
kick Hymen out of doors for jilting him; but as ho felt no im-
mediate desire to visit the " shades below.," he proposed to send
Mrs. Barker upon this voyage of discovery, that he might have
the pleasure of attending to her epitaph. Breaking her heart,
however, was out of the question—that was of too rough a ma-
terial—and he, therefore, proceeded to operate upon her head,
• for which he was now called upon to answer.
Mrs. Barker appeared terribly afraid of being sent off on the
voyage aforesaid, and declared she dare not live with her hus-
band again. Indeed, both parties appeared quite prepared to--
" Part without the least regret,
Except that they had ever met."
In default of finding sureties not to send the "weaker vessel"
on the uncomfortable cruise for the next six months, Master
Barker was sent to runjnate for that period on bread and water
and matrimony.—Ease V Herald.

FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.

(Flom the Chronica of Sept. 16.)
DECREE FOR A GENERA!. RECRLITMENT,

In fulfilment of thedispositions of the decree of the 4th
December, 1832, I am leased to decree as fellows:—
Article 1. Any yout capable of bearing arms, who shall,
within the space of eight days from the publication of the pre-
sent decree, enlist voluntarily in any one of the regiments of the
first line of the liberating army, shall be obliged to serve only
until the legitimate authority of her Faithful Majesty the
Senhora Donna Maria ll.kshall have beett established. through-
out the whole kingdom. t.
-Art. '2. .Prescribes the froms necessary to the enlistment, as,
mentioned in the preceding one.
-Att. 3. Declares that if at the end of eight days any capable.
adults should be found who had not availed themselves of the
tefms of article cue of the present decree of the 25th of July,
18.32, would he strictly enforced, a general impress made, and
the parties subjected to the term of service required by the laws.
Palace of the Necessidades, Nov. 3, 1833.
DON PEnuo, Duke of .Braganza.
AGOSTINIIO JOSE FREIRE.

OponTo, Nov. 10.—Our situation here during the winter will
not be very pleasant, as it is evident the Miguelites are drawing
a cordon round us; it is supposed they have a force of at least
7000 or BOW men on the north and south sides of the Douro;
their head-quarters are at San Thyrso. During the winter, it
is consequently feared, we shall be subject to continual alarms,
though for the actual safety of the city there is no apprehension,
so long as but ordinary vigilance and prudence are exercised.
General Pacheco (the chief staff officer of General Stubbs)
was nearly made a prisoner, having been closely pursued by a
lancer. Some.of them came' into the parish of Paranhos, and
one or two, more daring than the rest, actually rode under our
battery'of Covello. They Were excellently well equipped, and
are coannanded by a French officer on Count AlinertN staff.
The Miguelites have lately detached about one thousand two
hundred men to Coimbra, to suppress any demonstration in fa-
vour of Donna Maria.

•
Last week some Spaniards, who were coming to this city to
purchase goods, were attacked near Carneiro, by about twenty
cavalry soldiers, and robbed of £1400!
There is a report that the prisoners at Almeida have effected
their escape, and are at Ciudad Rodrigo.
The Chronica, of the 13th, contains a notice from the depart-
ment of Ecclesiastical Affairs relative to the abuses which the
Board of Health has stated to the Minister of the Interior, to
be committed in the interment of the dead, the bodies being
sometimes, interred out of the cemeteries, and sometimes when
they are buried, badly covered with earth, and that it often hap-
pens that they are left unburied to the next day, which seems
to be done to .excite in the people sentiments of aversion to the
government. As such proceedings may, besides, be attended
with serious consequences to' the public health, the Duke of
Bra ganza orders that the Vicar General of the Patriarchate
shall inquire iu what parishes such abuses have been committed,
particularly attending to the Cemetery of Boa Morte, where it
is alleged that many such have occurred. In case of disobedi-
ence to the orders of his Imperial Majesty, the priests guilty are
to be suspended.
A letter from the Corregidor of Riba Tejo of the 12th, from
Villa Franca, says—" There is nothing new of importance in
thii district (Comarca); the people are tranquil, a:id animated
with the best spirit in favour of people
legitimate cause."