The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1835-02-03 00:00:00

TO Tilt EDITOR OP TILE LWERPOOL ST.INDSRD.

Sta,—l have been " pretty considerably amused," as the
Yankees say, with the paper war carried on in. the provincials.
in the respect of your identity, and am quite sure that your risi-
ble muscles must be affected by the appearances of surprise and
alarm occasioned by the übiquity of your presence, as unlooked
for as disliked, in the ranks of the enemy. Who are the editors
of the STANDAR'', ? Ha, ha! Have these Drawcansits no sober
moments—always so very pot-valiant that their pereeption and•
placing of their antagonist are quintupled instead of doubled?
Five of ye! "Bucks, have at ye all!" How Cubbett will laugh
when the bellowing of one of his roaring heroes is reported at
Normandy, or Bolt-court, along with Bott's fruitless attempts to
grub up the STANDARD, as if, as the coach-wheel did for the fly,the.
noise and dust of the former vehicle will help insignificance so far.
But why five of ye? Why not ten—why not twenty? " Put
fate into the lists" and " champion them to the uttermost." Is
it that your contemporary opponents, forming that mystic num-
ber fire, hive so drawn on their imagination and conceit,
smarting, as they must have done, under even your gentle cor-
rection, that they have knocked theit: heads and senses together
into' the actual belief that there must 'needs have been an
equality of instruments, and that your single hand could not
have brushed 6ff these wasps? They have yet only felt the tail
of the lion, and, so confused end irritated, return buzzing to
the attack. Still be merciful, Mr. Editor; do not let them
proioke yon to crioh them. Remember Uncle Toby's treat-1
ment of the bltie bottle,—" Poor devil, there is room enough in
the world for thee and me." • i

Times are better with us. We are, despite their " politics and,
knavish tricks," progressing towards something like peace and
stability. With a pleasant prospect before us, let us show that
we can bear a little jolting on the road. The two persona have
spit..their venom—let us hope they will play off the toad or toady
no more; and hop about in a less objectionable shape. They
are known now. What Constable Dogberry, from a want
of ability to do for himself, wished done for him, they have
most effectually "written themselves Aown.". " Oh," says
Dogberry, " that he were here to. write me down an Ass!" I
begrudge them not the title, seeing they have earned it; but,
for men, of " splendid talents" methinks a less questionable
cognomen might have served. " Some are born great, some
achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
It were well'if tbe ludicrous were the only light in which such
work could- be viewed; but it is painful 'to see ministers and
stewards of our church so bitter in their opposition to the
STANDARD that was so nobly raised and has so proudly floated
in our town in her cause and our common constitution's—when
our hearts are panting for, er security and " the deinon of'de-
mocracy is knocking at her door" to distinguish the voices of
her sworn servants and defenders, in the clamour of the infidel
and destroyer. Rehm the church, indeed! Let them conform
—preach and practise her precepts of peace by good-will—be
humble, not vaunting of their " splendid talents," which are ill
bestowed and employed, indeed, in scattering the .filth and
hurling the fire-brand. According to the judgment of the Chro-
nicle, one of the bunch of radical fires, nothing, since Junius,
can compare with the correspondence of your clerical foe. It
would have been as well had he adopted the signature, as in
either character he was secure from personal consequences, and
the well-wishers of our .church been spared the scandal and hu-
miliation of such an exhibition in the garb of a churchman.
Fie, fie upon it! There is another Junius-like effusion in this
day's Chronicle, signed Spectator, that may pass off very well as
the reverend gentleman's alluded to, and,..though saucy enough.
is less outrageous to one's feelings, from the decency of a cloak
being thrown over his spiritual shield; the emblem of a true 1
knight of the cross cannot be vaunted in such a contest without
stamping the bearer with the name of recreant and.apostate—
without such prejudice he will find it easier to " carve out his
own renown ;" and,,truly, from the specimens of the cut and
slap style, he is ia Captain Bobadil alreadiy.
H ow very terrible and sublime is that passage in Spectator' sletter
about " the ship going down in action with an expiring faction
howling on board, singing paeans of victory, but leaving the palm
of conquest to the enemy." How true is the application of this
grandiloquent passage to the condition of the expiring wing
faction—throWn overboard completely in the contest for the
county, and had all our friends (4) been steel, (no trimmers or
levellers in our church,) thrown out for the town too, but ter-
ribly battered, notwithstanding; still they howl out no reaction,
still "sing preens," still write fustian ! I would not drown
them, though, Mr. Editor; "drown cats and puppies—let gal-
lows gape for. dog, and man go free," they should have the use of
the " patent life-preservers" in such cases, provided at the old
" Cockand Trumpet;" such as had not the confidence of the
maker in their power of sustenance for a long voyage, and could
be conveniently stowed away in the floating tub or the Republic,
should have that accommodation; but depart they should, first fair
opportunity, from the waters of the Mersey into the seas from
which it flows, and into the ocean beyond," thence to Ethiopia
or America, or anywhere else where the blessings of our un-
rivalled constitution are named but to be envied, and where they
may have room enough to make models and reformations of
their own,—spin-tops and tut ballot papers, without disturbing
those who are grateful to an indulgent Providence for having
cast their lot; here, and so long preserved us and our country
'spite of her degenerate and ungrateful sons.—Yours, Sze.
Liverpool, 31st Jan., 1535. FIDELIS.