The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-04-02 00:00:00

MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS.

We give the following as we received it, omitting only the
address. It came with a pamphlet entitled " Some Remarks
on Matrimonial Advertisements, being an Inquiry into their
use and abuse ; and addressed to the Heads of Families."
"The Editor of Fraser's Magazine is requested to accept a
copy of this work; and if he should have leisure to make men-
tion of it in his review, and that it is customary to pay for such
notice, it will be immediately complied with, on addressing a
note to "—=-- Square,"
We want no deuceur for " contributing to the comfort and
happiness of our fellow-creatures," as the author describes his
business to be. Sure we are that he (he is, by the by, an old
Quaker) will be found a most accommodating personage, and
no doubt those gentlemen who employ his mediation in affairs
of amatory advertising will not be disappointed, lle acts the
part of marriage-broker; but as he is one of the Society of
Friends, he is of course far too conscientious and strict in his
religious principles to think that the intervention of parson or
priest is necessary on all occasions. He has too great a regard
for the arguments on this head of "the unrefuted Barclay."
As, however, he is so kind as to offer to bribe us, we cannot
be so unkind as not to melee some extracts from his book. One
relates to a butcher's daughter.
"I know some young ladies who have been expensively edu-
cated, and who might have been agreeable, if they had acquired
the rare accomplishment of a little common sense. They were
born over their lather'rebop, a wholesale butcher and, cattle-
dealer. He left them £130,000; and I see they have just put
,up a gorgeous hatchment upon their newly-taken mansion in
the purlieus of London. If you sit with them half the morning,
little else will catch the ear beyond Milady,' and her Lady-
ship,'—a titled acquaintance they lately placed up in the half-
starved widow of a respectable tradesman, who was knighted
in the reign of George 111. One of their father's craft, a good-
looking and well-conducted young man,—their superior in some,
and their equal in every other respect,—lately proposed to ful-
fil an old engagement with one of the girls, and he was sum-
marily and haughtily rejected on account of his trade ! By the
by, they have discovered a similar name in the peerage, and it
is now understood they are a branch of that family."
Why need these fair butcheresses torment themselves ? More
than one butcher's daughter is to be found in the aristocratic
leaves of the peerage—more than one butcher's grandson sits
among the Lords and Commons of England. And there was
Michael Scales, the other day, who would have been the Mem-
ber of parliament for London, only he was beaten. Why do
not some of our poets write us an amorous ditty of a butcher in
love. It would be a glorious theme.
The next concerns the inordinate expectations of the women,
—on which point we suppose the broker is a competent judge.
"The inordinate expectations of some women really passes
-wonder. A lady with £2OO a-year writes me word that she will
not marry unless I can procure her an income of £l5OO. Ano-
ther, with £75 a-year, and passee, requires good looks, distingue
manners, and a carnage; her own money being secured to her.
And a Scotch widow, with one child, ordinary person, and sans
sees, desires me to introduce her to a gentleman of ancient fa-
mily (she is of course descended from Wallace,) with at least
£2OOO per annum, that 'she may regain her former position in
society ;' and by way of recommendation, she assures me, that
she was so devotedly attached to her husband that she will never
allow her feelings to be implicated again. For this £2OOO a
year and a husband, both good things in their way, I may
reckon on receiving her hest thanks;' and she is at this me.)-
merit exceedingly angry with me, because I do not give her the
introduction immediately. There are others who betray a wa-
tt,' contempt, or an innocent ignorance, of orthography, who
seriously reply to announcements headed A man of hereditary
rank,' &c. But these are some of the inconsistencies all must
expect who hazard a public advertisement."
Why so fierce about orthography ? Our Quaker ought to be
far above such contracted notions. The fair ones who write to
gentlemen and ladies in his profession arc not qualified to fill
chairs in the London University, or any other such learned
seminary. They have their own appropriate places to fill, and
no doubt they do it adequately. Our amiable Quaker himself,
when he says " Harlequin enonce de verites en riant," or talks
of "the embarras of a shy debutante," &c., &c., dues not ortho-
graphise over correctly. 'What the deuce has spelling to do
with his business!

' One statistical table, and we have done.
" A calculator has made out the following estimate of the
chances of matrimony a girl has at the different periods of her
life. Out of 1000 women, 32 are married between 14 and 15 ;
101 between 16 and 17 ; 219 between 18 and 19; 233 between
'2O and 21; 163 between 22 and 23; 102 between 21 and 25 ;' 60
between 26 and 27 ; 45 between'2B and 29; 18 between 30 and
31'6 14 between 32 and 33 ; 8 between 34 and 35; 2 between 36
and 37; and 1 between 36 and 39. To judge by this table, a
lady of 30years would have only 28 chances of getting married
out of 1000; when passed 40, the chances are far less.
There, ladies, then—there's your Bioscope. So, as old Her.
rick says,