The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1846-05-05 00:00:00

so that you need never know there was a hill there.
rata are all clay and sandstone, exceeding well

fitted for borin

" Then the VALLRY OF HUMILIATION, and the road
which leads therethroug,h 1" asked Sea

egrace

" We go slap across it in the tivinklineof a bedpost, by
a handsome viaduct of thirty arches on the skew princi-
ple," said Stagman
"Lo, you now"'

." Surely,

said Scapegrace, marvelling—
however, the road is rugged and billy ?"
" Thou wouldst say, the gradients are bad; not so,
there is none worse than one in the hundred—quite as
good as the Caledonian."
" I know not that road," said Scapegrace.
" So much the better for thee," answered Stagman
gravely.

" But, neighbour, how do you contrive to carry your
ough other men's grounds?" said Scapegrace.

road t}

" We promise to share the profits with them, said
Stagman, and so keep them quiet; or put them on the
Provisional Committee, with power to audit their own ac-
counts. Sometimes, no doubt, we are put to our shifts for
a time, as was the case with Squire Despair, of.Douliting
Castle, who opposed us on the standing orders, and threa-
tened to throw us out in committee; but as it ended in
our buying Doubting Castle at his own price, and paying
him handsomely for intersectional damage besides, he soon
withdrew his opposition, and is now an act:- -ter of

ive promc
_
the line. • Indeed; I know not any one who can give us
further trouble, except it be the old Pope, who says the
road will ruin his villa, and be the death of any of his bulls
that get upon the line; but as we know that he is as poor
as a church rat, and will never show his face in fhe corn-

mittee, we mind him not, aud, in truth, I have no doubt
the committee will find the preamble proved."
" Find what ?" enquired Scapegrace ;—" methinks,
Stagman, thou dealest in strange words, aud usest a jar-
gon hard to be understood of men."

" Find the preamble proved," answered Stagman ;
" which means we shall be empowered to make the road."
" I suppose, then, neighbour,""said Scapegrace, " there
will be a great resort of travellers to this same CENT-PER-
CENT, and much toil levied thereat ?"

" The passenger traffic, the prospectus says, will be
enormous," answered Stagman ; " and the minerals along
the line are of course inexhaustible."

" But tell me, neighbour, is this same mode of travel
as pleasant for the wayfarers as thou sayest ?"
" Exceedingly pleasant for the survivors," answered
Stagman. " Doubtless it sometimes happens that a car-
riage or two will run over a precipice, or the down-train
from Little-go may run into the up-train from Hap-
hazard, whereby some dozen lives may go amissing ; but
such accidents are unavoidable, and it is satisfactory to
know that on these occasions there never yet has been the
slightest blame imputable to any orie concerned—the sto-

ke; being invariably a most respectable man, and the ut-
most attention paid to the signals."
" Nay now, neighbour Stagman," said Scapegrace ;
" all this is mighty comfortable and encouraging, and I
long much to have share with thee in this same business."
" I know not," said Stagman, " whether that may be;
for the way is narrow, and many there be who would go
in thereat. But, look you, neighbour, I have promised to
do you service if I can, and I will tell you how to set
about it. There is an ancient friend of mine, who bath
stood me in good stead before now, his name is Mr. Scrip ;
he bath holpen many a one in worse plight than thou art;
so that by his aid, from being poor and needy, they have
become well to do in the world in a short space. Let us
go together to him ; he dwelleth in Paper Buildings hard
by ; it may be that he will stand thy friend, and help thee
out of this thy difficulty."
So methrught the men went both together, and, knock-
ing at the door of Mr. Scrip, they were shown into his
apartment, which was all garnished with slips of paper,
whereon were strange figures and characters written, which
no man could read or understand. He wore a coat of

many colours, the pockets of which appeared to be stuffed
with papers,' bearing the like figures ; be was always look-
ing either up or down, and he moved to and fro continu-
ally. as if he could not sit still in one place for a moment.
" Mr. Scrip," said Stagman, you must know here is a
friend of mine who is presently sore bestead, and lacketh
thine aid. He would fain have of thee some of those
wonderful papers whereby so many have become so sud-
denly rich ; and, for the sake of our old acquaintance, I

Then methought Mr. Scrip looked fixedly upon Scape-
grace, and shook his head consumedly. " The applica-
tions," said he, " are so numerous, that the Provisional
Committee have been compelled to decline many from
the most respectable quarters, and in all cases greatly to
restrict the amount allocated." But observing that Scape-
grace appeared much discomfited at these words, he said,
" Howbeit, as the man is a friend of thine, and this is the
first time he bath come to me, I will for this once do for
him aceording to his wish." So, putting his hand into his
nether raiment, he pulled out certain slips of paper, and
put them into Scapegrace's hand, saying--" Take these,
and put them into the purse thou bearest with thee;
they are called after my name : a fortnight hence thOu
wilt pay to me a depo4it of twenty crowns thereon, but
thereafter thou mayst sell them for ten times that sum."
" Alas," cried Scapegrace, " for now I am utterly un-
done ! I have not a crown in the world, and how can I

pay the deposit !"
' Nay, neighbour, have a good heart," cried Stagman,
drawing him in a corner ; " long before the fortnight
comes, we shall have sold these papers to some other man,
who will pay the twenty crowns for thee, and give thee a
hundred beside for thy pains. At the worst, thou bast but
to burn thy papers and be seen no more of men, which, if
Gripeman should get hold of thee, would happen in any
wise. Take the papers, be of good comfort, thank Mr.
Scrip for his kindness, and tell him thou wilt call another
day with the twenty crowns." . . _ _

So Scapegrace took the papers, and they thanked Mr,
Scrip, and went their way.

........iS.

AN ANNUAL VISITOR.—We are beginning to look out
for the report of her Majesty's visit to Ireland, as it is
generally about this time of the year that it appears in the
newspapers.—Punch.
Tna RIVALS.—On Monday week, there was a holiday
at St. Stephens. There have been so many holidays lately,
that we really think Sir Robert Peel and Mr. Barry the
architect, have a bet pending as to who will persevere
longest in making "no House."—Punch.
It is said that so great was the muscular power of Dra-
gonetti's hand, that he has been known to go into a pub-
lic-house, ask for a pint of porter, and after drinking it,
squeeze the sides of the pewter pot together between his
fingers.