The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1848-06-27 00:00:00

CHOOSING A WATERING-PLACE

Any one who occasionally employs himself in watching
the proceedings of his fellow-men in order to find food
for his mirth, has a rich treat in beholding not only the
various ways in which different individuals act with regard
to " watering-places," but the various reasons which lead
them to select different " spas." Shoals of people an-
nually visit some one or other. To a great many of these
health is a very subordinate motive. They go because
they have nowhere else to go, or because they want to get
married themselves, or have daughters whom they wish to
see married. " Thither," says Scott, speaking of one,
" comes the saunterer, anxious to get rid of that weari-
some attendant, himself ; and thither come both males
and females, who, upon a different principle, desire to
make themselves one." The intellectual man or the
woman of taste seek some quiet, retired spot, and quaff
elegant preparations of iron or water, impregnated with
bubbles of carbonic acid gas, Nature's champaign.
Not so others of a class beneath them. Harrowgate is a
very favourite resort of a section of Yorkshire clothiers,
Lancashire cotton-spinners, and bagmen of both counties.
It possesses for them a two-fold charm. First, they have,
as it were, a quid pro quo for their money. The sulphur
spa at Harrowgate smells and tastes as only the sulphur
spa at Harrowgate can smell and taste. Nothing equals
it, nothing in nature resembles it. They swallow pints of
it, and its effects nearly tear their very bowels out. They
bathe in it warmed up ; and lest they should lose any of
its delectable fumes, they get the top of their tub covered
in with sacks. Secondly, if the internal twinges gratify
the bowels of " feyther" (this word is nowadays pro-
nounced "popar"), the bustle and the merriment of its
sort, of which the place is full, please the little hearts of
the country misses. Here they have every night at
" Queen's" or " Binn's" a dance, every day a pic-nic,
and, what is better than all, time and opportunity to con-
coct lies innumerable to retail out to their three bosom
friends when they reach home relative to the " offers"
they have had. If you could believe what any of them
said, every one who asked her to dance, every one who
handed her over a style, every one who took wine with her,
made her an immediate offer of matrimony. Nay, if she be
put to it, and fancies that some young spinning swain was
thinking of asking her to take some pigeon-pie, but refrained
from so doing on seeing how small a bit was left and how
hungry he himself felt—he, too, she will declare, made her
an offer. Not that the three bosom friends actually
swallow all this, but they too visit watering-places, and
they too come back with tales of like wonderful conquests,
and " claw me and I'll claw thee," is their rule of
action.

Those who visit watering-places in search of health
generally suffer from a similar indisposition, well enough
expressed by the term " out of sorts." This means that
the functional actions of the nervous and digestive system
are deranged ; not much, but still so as to produce uneasy
sensations. This state of things is generally brought
about by the two great evils of our social system—having
too much or too little to think about. The anxious and
perhaps embarrassed merchant has had his nerves on the
stretch for eleven long months, on almost every day of
which his ledger has been opened with a sigh and closed
with a groan. Even if more more fortunate, he has had
an anxious heart for all that time. On the other hand
the retired merchant, with more money than he can
spend, from habit and mental constitution has nothing
upon which he can employ his mind ; so, after eleven
months of ennui and idleness, he too is indisposed. From
analagous causes, an immense variety of other characters
become " out of sorts." These visit their favourite
watering-place, drink its waters deeply for a month, and
return home undoubtedly better, if not quite well.
Those afflicted with chronic complaints, although less
certainly, are often in like manner benefited. This they
repeat year after year, and who can wonder that they ex-
piate upon the efficacy of their spa, and upon how well it
agrees with their constitutions ?--Fraser.

In 1776, the Duchess of Charteris beat her husband in
a foot-race of 200 yards for 200 guineas. The duchess
was allowed to secure her petticoats above the knees.
An Englishman who is good for anything at all, will
gain nothing by what is called " citizenship," or any such
humbug. We have not the least objection to our lively
neighbours being citizens if they like it ; but, so far, it is
evident that citizen and soldier, citizen and debtor, citizen
and defaulter, citizen and idle man, citizen and bankrupt,
citizen and state pauper, mean the same thing.
EFFECT OF ENGLISH HAND-SHAKING.--A native
having visited England in company with his master, and
travelled by railway while here, on returning to his native
country told his fellow-countrymen that " in England
horse no good, bullocky no good ; plenty whiff"—at the
same time drawing his hand quickly before him to indi-
cate the velocity of the railway carriage. His lubra
(wife) hearing of his return, hastened to embrace him :
he coolly extended his hand a l'Anglais, and said, " How
d'ye do ?" She, not understanding this extraordinary
conduct of her spouse, sank down on the ground, and
sobbed aloud.—Wilkinson's South Australia.

ANECDOTE OF THE REDBREAST.—Last winter a pair of
robins were daily fed near the kitchen door of Mr. James
Neild, of Oulton, the male bird occasionally flying through
the open window to pick up the crumbs from off the floor,
and so remarkably tame has he become that he will fly to
and feed out of the hands of one of the family. During
the present season they have reared three broods of young
—the nests being built in an old wall within a few feet of
each other—and are again occupied in the construction of
another nest. Whenever gardening operations are in
progress, one of the old birds is generally near to pick up
the vermin, and it is a remarkable fact that these valuable
birds will sometimes carry to their young in a few minutes
between forty and fifty small worms and grubs. During
a heavy shower a few weeks ago, the gardener took refuge
in an arbour at some distance from his work, when he was
quickly followed by his innocent companion, who perched
on the branch of a tree, warbled his song r.if joy, as if in
gratitude for the bounties of Providence.