The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1846-08-11 00:00:00

PUNCH IN LIVERPOOL,

This local worthy, whose liteuhrationt we have at
times the exclusive honour to convey to the puhltc, has
apparently. viewed the visit of .Prinee Albert to this town
in a better spirit than his metropolitan brother. The ve-
ritable and original Punch is evidently s re. and wishes
to convey the iJea that nothing rtign'fi d can be effected
our of his own dear locality nf poi-be lied aldermen and
turtle-eating common-councillors. Our provincial PUNCH
on the other hand, loyal to the backbone. can, on the un-
wonted occesion of a royal visit, stow his fun, and give the
credit which is their due to his tallow townsmen. The
few quips and cranks with which be has furnished us will
be found to be very harmless and good natured.
SPRASING AUTOMATON• PUNCH recommends to
those newspaper proprietors who, in the exuberance of
their z. al to delight the public, nec4sionally present them
with guinea engravings, or, still better lithographs, and
find their liberality appreciated beyond their expectations,
to provide themselveS with a speaking automaton to stand
behind their counter, instead of all ,wing their clerks to

risk the contraction of a hoarseness, by the cons.ant re-
iteration of excuses to importunate applicants. The arm
of the figure might be uplifted in the most graceful man.-
tier possiiee, whilst a spare printer's devil in the rellar
might, by a string attached, produce the necessary bow-
ing. The automaton miebt repeat something like the fol.
lowing :—" Just too late, sir"—" All our plats gone this
morning"—:" Difficulty in working so splendid a plate"—
" Have some to-morrow"—" Lirculation totally beyond

. _ .
tickets this morning, sir," &c. &e. The figure should be
of very dignified apvearnn:•e, aid should smile henignantly
upon lady customers. It would conduce materially to the
comfort of the plate and print-giv.r4 if a supply of ice-
water was at hand, to cool the excitement of those pur-
, hasers of the paper who, never being buyers exeept when

.
something is given away with it, are naturally offended at
the unusual honour, which tiny thus con:er, not being
promptly re-ponded to.
UNFORTUNATE ABSENCE OF THR MAYOR OF MAN-
CHIiSTER FROM THE MAYOR'S BANQUET.—The unfor.

tunas, pet into which tiiis gre.t persoi ace threw himself
last week, and which occasioned his absence from both
the Mator's Dinner and the Dejeuner of the Dock Coin.
mittee, had nearly caused the sui tde of one of Mr. Lynn's
cooks. The ingenious Frenchman had, as he thought,
imirettalised himself by the concoction of two unique
dishes, of which he anticipated Prince Albert would cat ry
away with him intense. One was cotelelle
des buckskins it la Mayor de Manchester—an une-
qualled preparation. Tile second was, lap ballet du
Mayor fricassees evec soles, still more spicy. On the
news being imparted to him Iliac rt yal. y would nut be
honoured by the presence of the diAifiguir.lted pet sonage.
for whom all his art bad been exerted, the unfortunate
cook jumped into a pan of bouilli, and very narrowly es-
capel by the inteiterence of one of the kite! en rnatds,
HONOUR 'o BIRKENHEAD —lf this rising tow. had not
last 'Si ek the honour of receiving royalty, it had, what is
next to it, the honour of receiving a Cabinet ininkter,
Viscount Morpeth. His for iship, wh ► was looking
charmingly, was obsetved to take the north-west pass4ge
'• by Woods;de."
TEA ME THE MILLION.—An enterpesing coffee-shop-
keeper in Tithebarn-street has placed in front of his pre-
mises a rather gigantic tea-pot, which boas's, in g It let-
ters UP n its tide, its capacity for suoplying " tea for the
mitlion". We wouldn't wish Mr Lawrence Heywcoth,
or any teetotaller, so dire an irti,ction as to cone in for

the list cups, which nut be d, awn with a vengeance,
and about as sloppy and milk-and.waterisb as hts own

spreebes

STUBBS' BAND.—This distinguished musician will be
gratitieo t r lean o that the only T, a•on why neither his own

3ef to the Prince Consort, wa• a Par on dr-, part of the
authorities that the itifer'or military hand. belonging to
the 36,h reg:tnent, should feel thonseive. eclipsed, and do
something desperate towards theni.eives or their instru
Am I merits. • Stubbs, however, may console himself with the

fact, thtt the only rtit..ic with which the fine ear of hi,
Rile] 11;ghness appeared to be att•aeled w s that of the
intere-ting and clever band bolo ging to the Blue Coat
. .

School. which he has so effic,entiv irhi:led and ',effected
It is t-ornetbing, when a man cannot be a sun, to be
moon and bhine by reflected ligh'.
3UST SENTENCE.—We undervsnd that the vnune 1.13

length he went to Baring Brotb_ra and Co , where he
principally acted as we'gher and receiver of cargoea.
Yesterday, the prisoner was again brought up, and,
after the depos tions bad been reduced to writing, and
read over, he was fully committed for trial at the next

I MEETING OF THE ROYAL ASSURANCE
COMPANY.

The first annual meeiing of this local and important
company to,,k place at the company's ufiices, Oldhatl-
street, yesterday. Mr. Booker occupied the chair, and
having stated the object of the meeting, the Secretary
then read the report as follows:
" The Royal Int.urance Company having now been
established more than one year, tie board of directors de-
sire t.. lay before the proprietors a statement ()I' its pro-
ceedings. It is a subject of sincere congratulation to
your directors to announce that perhaps but few, if any,
precedents can be cited of an ( stablishment a hich, even
in its infancy, has been enabled to lorm around it so many
elements of

permanency and success as this company.
The pro ,fs of this assertion are equally undeniable.
whethy r you lor k to the respectabli'y and influenre of its
per psietary, the extent Jf its r the r suits of
that trusir•ess as shewn in the present report. The deed
of settlement provides that the first hslairce sheet shall be
made up to the end of December, 1846, but the directors
were desirous that their first appeurnce before the con-
stituency should not be unaccompanied by a statement of
the result of their business_ 1r is honed that it will he

satisfactoi y to the proprietors to hear that, after deducting
frnnt the amount received from premiums on fire assurance
and from other sources of income, the estimated amount.
of losses. there remains a bilance in the company's hands
of £40.56-1 16•. 2d. In the management of the funds of
the company, it has been the o, jezt of the dire•:tors to

uu;ain as nign a rare of interest ss w:ts in. their opinion
consist, nt %Yoh entire security, but in all ca-e- they have
thought it better to accetit a lower rare if needful than
to risk anything by accepting securi'y which appeared at all
to be doubtful or ini•ufficient. Being convinced that the
hest 'means o

procuring a lair average result to the ti an-
sactions of the company. free from those floctu.tions
which sooner or later will attend a fiie husines, confined
in its locA tv, would he to extend its operations widely
in other ports, the directors have turned their attention
to the establishment of agencies and branches in London,
Manchester. and other towns. Fotty•tive agents have
consequently been appointed, posses-ing character and

qualifications sufficient to inspire confidence that their
services sill in all respects be advantageous to the coot-
. Your directors likewise b-g to announce that they
oave purchase°, on terms which they consider very eligible,
property at.the corner of North John-street & Dale.streer,
for the purpose of erecting smrahle offices tor the corn
'piny. Ira the life department. 73 lives have been
cepted for assurance, who have toz3ther paid premiums
amounting to £1579 9s. Bd. No casualties have or-
curred in this department. In addition to the other
manifest advant,g,es attending all assurance on life
eff cted in this office, may be added the consideration
that the confidence or the pubic will etc long be
recur, d by the conviction that evety We at cer,ted I3F the
directors will be admitted among a class of lives so care-
tulle selected that the largest amount of bonus to the
assured may fairly be anticipated. The consideration cf
these -advantages. combined with the fact thl, the numh.n.
of lives assured in This kingdom are icy a Itss proportion.
to the unassured than as 1 to 200. will convince the pro•
prietors that a wide field of operation in this d. partatent
- • • •

of their bu•iness may be open to they if heir united and
active exertion.: are exercised in its promotion. Perhaps
re rrquires in its onset the ex rase