The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-04-19 00:00:00

THE LIVERPOOL STA NDAh.b.

" THE PENNY MAGAZINE."
The following complaint of a Country Farmer about the Penay Maga-

rine, is addressed to its Editor :

I am sorry to complain, Sir,
But daily though I try,
it livelihood to gain, Sir,
The poorer still am I ;
My wife and I were well to do,
No happier pair was seen ;
Alas t we owe Our ruin to
The Penny Magazine.

Our son was very dutiful.
And minded all we said ;
Our daughter work'd as beautiful
As any lady's maid :
13ut, ah! they both are useless now,
(Whate'er they may have been)
And leave the needle and the plough
For the Penny Magazine.

I thought that my good dame and I,
Amidst our weekly labours,
Knew how to add and multiply
As well as all our neighbours.
" The newest fashion," Robin cries,
" Here father, may be seen ;"
And then he pops before my eyes
The Penn!, Magazine.

I flew into a passion,
Which indeed I could not help ;
" Don't talk to me of fashion,"
Said I, " you saucy whelp,
To say you're wiser than yuur dad,
If that is what you mean ;
I'm sorry that you ever had
The Penny Magazine."

My chickens, ducks, and dairy,
No longer pay my rent;
The mornings of oar Mary
So sadly are misspent ;
Instead of poultry feeding,
Or milking on the green,
She's in the cow-house reading
The Penny Magazine.

I found our Tom and Robin
in the field below the mill,
➢lounted on Ball and Dobbin,
While the plough was standing stlll :
" What are ye doing, Robin, Tom 1"
Cried I ; " what is't you mean 7"
They answer'd—" Getting' laming from
The Penny Magazine."

The tailor, the exciseman,
The barber, and the Clown,.
each wants to be a wiseman,
The same as " folks in town ;"
The potboy, ostler, boots as well;
Nay, those who come to glean,
All seem to take delight to Spell
The Penny Magazine.

bly house is gone to ruin,
My land into decay,
And this is all your doing,
For thus the people say :
" Learning is better than house and lard,
And labour makes us lean ;"
Perhaps you thought so when you plann'd
The Penny Magazine.
rot, poor folks, who their daily bread
By daily labour earn,
To use their hands, and nbt their head,
'Tis better fir to learn ;
Six days to work—a happy lot—
When Sunday comes between,
The Bible letus read—and not
The Penny Magazine.

TWELVE RULES OF CONDUCT FOR
A TURKISH WIFE.

The following twelve rules of the conduct for a Turkish wife
towards her husband are taken from an amusing novel, called
"The Atusselman:"—

Ist.—Obey. your husband, for he is your lawful master; he
paid your price, and made you presents, therefore he is your
sultan; his right aria is your protection, and the edge of his
sword, it needs be, your punishment.
2nd.—Love your husband if you possibly can, and if you
cannot, do not hate him; for it is your duty to cherish and
make much of him.

3rd.—lie mindful ever of the respect you owe him, for he is
your lord; salaam him in the morning with a respectful-greet-
ing, and, When you present his first pipe to him, kiss his hand, and
bend.. your knee, and sit not in his presence till he has twice
desired you to be seated.
4th.— When you quarrel with the other women, do it-behind
his back, and if they rival you in his favour, let him not see
your jealousy, that he may not hate you, for jealous wives are
always hateu;, and if he smile on the slaves while you are rub-
bing.his feet, still do it gently, and let him not see that you are
weary of pleasing him.
sth.—When you dance before him, move not your limbs too
much, like the Almes, whose voluptuous movements you have
no occasion to imitate, but dance like a modest wife and not
like a wanton.

Gth.—Remember your face was made for your husband,
therefore let no human being but him behold it; for it is only
the Christian women who have no shame, who show their fea-
tures, and.are inconsistent enough to conceal their necks, and
expose their bare visages.
7th.—Neither, like these unfortunate women, be seen in the
street with strangers; do you, who are a Moslem woman, and
know what is monesty, when you are addressed by au ,impudent
passenger, never lift your veil but to spit on tue•wretch who
mistakes you for the wife of a Frani.
Bth.-1.1 your husband be old, it is needless to plague him;
pray to the Apostle to endow you with patience; and, though
you are entitled to more recreation than other women, do not
irequeut the bath too much before the good old man has made
his will.

9th.--If a foolish Effendi throw, a sunbul in your path you
must not stoop to pick it up, nor tell your slave to do so, that
would be unworthy_of a virtuous wife; but slaves will pick up
flowers, and Jews will deliver impertinent messages, and bath
women will convey insolent love letters of cloves and charcoal
and a woman of discretion ought never to be accused of re-
ceiving any, present or communication of the sort. '
10th.—Make your breast the sole depository of your own
secrets, and if it be possible, make it that of your husband's
also; the more you know of his secrets, the more.you possess;
the less he knows of yours, the smaller is the risk of your con-
fidence being abused.
your husband beat you, and your lungs be healthy,
rend the air with your screams out, and cry murder and rapine
from the street windows.; and if all fail to collect the rabble
and shame your lord, shout the zanganoar, till the guard and
firmer. fill the - house, cud retuse to go till they -are paid for
their trouble.

12th,—If •he threaten to drown you, make a friend of the
Cadi's Wife, and if she cannot assist you, nobody can: if he
threaten the sack twice, it is time to think of a divorce—a
separate maintenance is a great calamity? the allowance is
always small, but some women think it pleasanter to be di-
vorced thandrowned ; it is a matter of taste, my child; in which
it is difficult to advise.

NAPOLEON'S ARSlS.—Napoleou, by his. will, made at St.
Helena, left to his son his arms, which he thus described
" My arias-namely, my sword, the same which I wore at
Austerlitz ; the sabre of Sobiesky, my poniard, my cutlass,
&c." Messrs. Bertrand, Marchand, and other companions of
Napoleon's exile were appointed depositories, and were to trans-
mit the objects deposited in their hands to the son of Napoleon,
on his attaining the age of 16. When,yeinig Napoleon became
of age, he was lahouringunder a mortal disease, and died be-
fore he could receive his., father's legacy. The objects are
still in the hands of the depositaries, who have thought proper
to take counsel's opinion as to what they are to do in order to
he legally disengaged• from responsibility. M. Patorny, an
Advocate of the Royal Court of. Paris, has drawn up an opinion,
in which he proposes the following three questions Do the
arias of Napoleon belong to Maria Louisa, that is to say, the.
Austrian? Do they beiong. to the tattier's 'family at Rothe?
De they belong to the French. nation? "—The opinion of
Messrs. Odilon Barrot, Paillet, and Philip Dupin irs con-
formity with that of M. Patorny, is that we arms of Napoleon
are natio.ual property, arol.that the Suite has a right to claim:
them.to be deposited in,a public establishment.