The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1833-05-10 00:00:00

vAaxLTrEs.

A barrister lately observing how much the Common Pleas
had been plundered of their fees by-the transfer of business,
under the new act, from that Court to the Exchequer : and still
more by their Chief Justice having abolished their ancient fee
for the entry, of declarations; au officer of the Court replied,
that in this latter step the. Chief Justice was justified by histori-
cal precedent ; for it wda only a continuation of Rapine by 7"rndal.

• WORDS OF TILE WisE.—Christianitv teaches us to put the
most faOurable construction on uve; v thing; to submit to evils
which we cannot reineily; to repel tii.eir force by the shield of
contrast; to select the undeserved mercies which We enjoyed
I"roin-the deserved ills which we suffer, and thus " in every thing
to giVe thanks." A holy life has a voice. In more convincing
1,11::s; it echoes-the instructions of the lips, which have aliead3-
I.cen as a fountain of wisdom. Its e.oquence never ceases. It
'.pe;:,ks when the tongue is silent, and is either a constant in-
t:action, or a perpetual reproof. •

CLEinc AI, lAN EC DOTE.-74 he late Mr. 0-- , minister of
L--ii, in this county, was famed fur his eccentricities in the
pulpit. On one occasion a St. Andrew's student of a long
Vighlund pedigree, among others' had heard of the rev. gentle-
man's fame. and was determined not only to witness his extra-
ordinary exhibitions hinised, but to take notes of his sermon, for
-tile edification of his friends and fellow students. Accordingly,
one Sunday, our hero appeared in church, and requested one of
the eiders to show hint into a pew, where he might take his notes
unseen by pastor or congregation. lie was accordingly.shown
into a retired corner of the church, which, however, was by no
xuaans invisible. to Mr. U , .who was apprised of the ap-
pearance and intentions of the learned stranger. After having
chosen his text, Mr. 0 proceeded to exhort his readers,
oaring the course of which more than one parson fell asleep.—
Among these was Janet , an old woman, who kept a small
4le.4unise in the Brae of L—. The neighbours of poor Janet
,tuleavoured in vain to awake her. She continued to snore so
imd and so long that she at length arrested the attention of the
preacher. " Stop, stop," said Mr. 0--, " I'll wanken her;
bring in a boWe am and a gilt, Janet!" " Cumin', Sir,"
responded Janet., starting to her feet awake : " I tell't you sae,"
rep Jed the minister; " wry brethren—lt is as impossible to keep
thwovornan frac sleepin' as it is to keep a highlandmen free
swain:: There never was a Highlaudman that ever I kend but
faik was a thief. Put. ye down that in your notes, my young
friend !"—Dandee Cfm.titutional.

The author of the Wealth Of Nations, the late Dr. Adam
Smith, used to say that the letter p was the ruin of Ireland,
viz :—Papists. Popery.' Priests. Purgatory. Pride. Poverty.
Probity, `•want of." Population, "superabundance." Propa-
gation. Propitiation. 'Prevarication. Procrastination. Pecula-
tion. Predestination. Potatoes, "the,Ctirse."

S11.11:1', BUT 1? EG ac.—Louis the Eighteenth could not en-
dure the present Sovereign of France. Some years ago, when
the latter was Duke of Orleans, he was one day breakfasting
w:th Louis, and bitterly attacking the subdivision of property
which is enfori:ed by the French civil laws. " 'Tis so bad,"
added the Duke, " that if ever it should happen that each of
My children should have as numerous a fan_dy as myself, my
grandchildren wail be compelled to become cobblers." " And
May, cousin," answered Louis, " where would be the harm ?
ethinks so stanch a Republican as vou are, ought to feel de-
liglard at the ',tweet." 'i'his is the !Lena of the first water, by
the way, whom. last week's French papers charge with having
ctually paid Laiitte forty thousand pounds for the Forest of
Bretouil, whilst the purchase mouey was given at four and
tanty !lawsuit:l only, with a view to reduce the amount of the
transfer duty to the buyer. The accusation has been publicly
laid, but we have not heard or observed, that the accusers have
been set down in the standing order of the day for public pro-
secution. We ask the late Duke's admirers, of what " prin-
ciple" on earth he is " the personification ?" If of liberty,
then, we admit, he takes it in its fullest sense.
Extract of a Letter said to have been addressed during the
p:vst • week, by Vernon Smith, Esq. M.P. to the "Northampton
Mercury.:"--- .

Treasury Chambers, April 429, 1833.
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Half the malt tax at once ! what a terrible blow ;
How could Chandus and Ingilby leather us so ?
Oh 1 and then the distressing sail consideration
What reductions must fellow this vote of the nation.
Zest two millions-and halt' we've been robbed of—yes two
And a half,--not one halt halfpenny lower would no.
From the hour I was whelped a calamity wor4e
Never threatened Whig hold on the treasury purse,
Ah! too little I thought thelleform of Tralee
Would so soon bring destruction and ruin on me.
Twenty-five hundred pounds reduced in a day!
Poor Lord. Althorp! Poor Polly his nurse! Poor Earl Gres!
And poor plaremen like me that subsist upon Ihty
Vas there ever such dire unexpected dismay?
Twenty-five hundred thousands rellueo.li at a sweep l•
IVell may ministers mourn, and their underlings weep,
As for me I can scarce see to scribble with eyes
Filled With tears at this fatal financial surprise,
my paper is blotted all over, most sadly •
• As with passion I pen what I'm feeling most madly.
Half the malt tax! and this too in spite of the wiles
Of Lord Althorp ( Wet Tyler) in cheapening tiler, -
Totted earls, haibys, and iosrp so much wanted fur laying
When pour slaves in Jamaica cry out for a shaving! 1
lialT the malt tax! alas! 'tis as clear as.the sun
In mid June, the 'Whig sinecure holders are done,
Done as brown r. , the•outside of roasted sirloin!
01!.1 what duist:Whigs do Boat on that float upon coin I

Fare the;;ell !Cis relief mid these suirows of mine
To unbosom my breast on a bosom like thine,
1; ill ,insured as I am of your sympathy with
Yours—with pretty r.ame Vermin—
ith common name SMITit.

I`..9.—Don't forget to praise Althorp, though obvious the
Fur rk•fusing.When beaten completely to brulke; (fudge,
Send your 101 l for the eulogy soon as it's made,
Snid it quiet and you'ittind ha instantly paid.—
Entre Dolts what w e give to the radical press
In advertisements make it belabour us less,
Than it avoid if pernlitted to note and erihe
Every sad pee,atlillo umnoved by a bribe.
'Tis.not honest 1 know such a-course to refer to,
But 'the Whigs hare long since wave-d pretensions to virtue,
'T was such folly as that tbrew.Conservatives
31 higi keep iu—wiser j.alges of what they're shout.-
. London, Tuesday night.

p. S.-2nd.
,Tiravo! Bravo! we've got it-all lmel, and I'm your
tonla, servant well peosion'd and paid as I.efure!
tlo-ra-100 too-ra-100 tol de rot tlddils,
diddlt —thy ct,t tic f (Idle!
ditriVute a gallon of alp to the ringers
yotlr rhatcheS,.and ditto to public-house singers.
_l•sn ,) maddened with joy I ,az:rct. kows what, I pc•li
But got the ta:: I,:wi; —and I'm •' Bit:hard aguin."
11/1,"0 1ii(VO! for radical volt rs afi r
rho Whig!'
g!
weahLy and-wise cry • Ll.zhaf
.11)11/au: sp4r.477llcralti.