The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1843-08-08 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

Why is the temperance pledge like an umbrella ?
Because it protects you from heavy wet.
If it is happiness to be nobly descended, it is no less so
to have so much merit that nobody inquires whether you
are so or not.—La Bruyere.
TASTE !—Among other curiosities cherished by the late
Duke of Sussex, and now brought to the hammer, was
" the knife which Margaret Nicholson attempted to stab
George lll."—Punch.

On Friday and Saturday week, a worthy bookseller and
publisher in Paternoster-row announced that, in his shop,
" a glass of—water, and a tract, might be had fornothing !"
Great numbers availed themselves of the temperate offer.
CHANGE OF RESIDENCE.—The statute of George IV.
has left King's Cross, and retired into the country.
Change of scene has been recommended, as the noble pa-
tient has been suffering for years from a badness of site.—
Punch.

EDITORIAL CONVERSION.—A western editor says that
a girl lately sent him word that if he didn't shut up his
mouth about bishops, she'd wrap him up in a bag and
make a bustle of him!

Mr. Buxton, in his interesting work on the African
slave trade, states from good authority, that there are
150,000 slaves annually conveyed from Africa, of which
56,000 are brought into the single port of Rio de Janeiro.
About 90,000, he says, are annually imported into Brazil.
AN EXTRAORDINARY DINNER.—A wealthy millio-
naire of Philadelphia invited his four children—three
daughters and a son—to dine with him on the 4th ult.,
and when at table, each one found before them securities
to the amount of two hundred thousand dollars, making
eight hundred thousand in the aggregate !
How TO REFUSE A CHALLENGE.—Lord Galloway,
the descendant of the Marquis de Ruvigni, whose bravery
was never doubted, having once received a challenge,
boldly refused it, saying, that whenever he drew his sword,
it was for a more noble purpose, being in the defence of
his king, his country, or his God !

In a back township of Upper Canada, a magistrate, who
kept a tavern, sold liquor to people till they got drunk
and fought in his house. He then issued a warrant, ap-
prehended them, and tried them on the spot ; and, besides
fining them, made them treat each other to make up the
quarrel.--Canada Temperance Advocate.
A. Islzatto DIALOGUE.—" 1 say, Baz, where do dat
comet rise at ?" ",It rises in the fifty-sixth meridian ob
de frigid zodiac as laid down in de comet almanac."
" Well, where do it set, Baz ?" " Set ! you black fool—
it don't set nowhere ; when it gets tired of shining it
goes into its hole 1"

A RIDE IN THE MILKY WAY.--On Wednesday last, a
man, who had the appearance of being a butcher or a
cattlejobber, was seen trotting along very composedly on
the back of a cow ! If the rider were horn-mad, there
was at least method in his madness, for he proceeded in
his course very steadily and scientifically, as if he knew
how to drive his cow without distressing his calves.
A Luria GAME.-It is stated, that a game of chess has
just been concluded in Cincinnati, which was commenced
on the 2d day of January last. The players have been en-
gaged every day, with the exception of Sundays, from
eight o'clock in the morning until ten in the evening, de-
ducting three hours at dinner and one at supper. The
time actually occupied in playing the game was one thou-
sand three hundrsd and eighty hours.