Star.
London, England, 1830-06-19 00:00:00

A MATIN SONG.

I much want a wife, and I long have been looking
In vain for a girl to comprise ev'ry wish;
For dainties too often are spoilt in the cooking,
And seldom we find ce'ry kind in one dish.
But the cause, after all, while I'm puzzled in seizing
The hand of some damsel to make my life blest,
Is that there are many so equally pleasing.
•
I can't, on the scrutiny, know which is best.
On the highway of life 'tis in vain to stand musing_
The market of beauty must epeedily close;
For girls worth the having are apt to be choosing,
And sometimes can haughtily turn up their nose:
Besides, if we listen to Reason's long gossip,
We never can settle which nymph should prevail ;
And perhaps, after all, it will prove but a toss-up,
Which governs our fortune—the head or the tail.
'Tis in vain that my brow, still kind Nature adorniug,
Displays a prime Brutus—when brush'd up on end :
In vain I use huilc a fa ruse ev'ry morning,
And still o'er my temples the ringlets extend.
I have tried cv'ry method of cooing and billing,
In !tows to have made some kind maiden my slave ;
I have learn't, in " Six Lessons," the art of Quadrilling,
I fear but to dance a pas scut to the grave.
I cannot but think that a man must look stupid.
Through spectacle-glasses to cast a sheep's eye;
And that he who expects any favour front Cupid,
Would need not to cough in the midst of a sigh.
E'er the spectacles, then, shall my nose get astride on,
I'm fully determin'd a bargain to strike ;
And that you may aid me the point to decide on,
I'll tell you what kind of a spinster I like.
'Tie said the adepts in a boasted new theory
Know, by feeling the skull, who to love or to hate;
Like Pat in the dark, who, without any query,
Can find out his wife by the bumps on her pate.
But I'm no admirer of Gall or of Spurchtim,
And can very well with their science dispense;
For quite good enough will the cranium of her seem
M ho has but two organs—of love and of sense.
The girl of my fancy, then, none of that tribe is,
Who not much unlike to their thread.paper seem;
But i know that in media tulissimus ibis,
And baskets of lillies should not ovettecm.
Of dumpies I think very much with Lord Byron,
But dumpies arc better than ladies too tall ;
And if my fond arms some extreme must environ,
To the grand magniiique—l prefer—rather small.
AVhere lips are like rubies, or cheeks are like roses,
There is an enchantment I cannot despise ;
Then I doat on all kinds of symetrical noses,
And all kinds of sparkling intelligent eyes :
Her hair may be auburn—or raven—or flaxen,
And still will her locks not allow me to want
If ting'd with the red, it will not be a black sin,
In short, any colour may do, but--die gray.
Then as to her soul—or whatever you name it,
Which stira into action the human machine,
If its impulse prove easy, 1 shall not much blame it,
But, constantly creaking, would give the the spleen.
All that Nature inspires—ev'ry thought—ev'ry feeling,
I wish to be telegraph'd forth in the face;
Not by features well tutor'd at neatly concealing.
But by those in which truth all may legibly trace.
Papas and Mamas have a cruel old saying,
To chill into torpor the ardour of love,
That when poverty once at the door finds the way in,
Sly Cupid slips out from the window above.
But because it is gilt well, no pill I shall swallow,
No girl, just because she has gold, I shall wed;
Though if ev'ry thing else suet, it does not quite follow
That the pennyless maid should be taken ir,steail.
I ant blest with enough, and will share all the blessing,
With any kind girl, who will cheat fully bend
To think that enough is, what tee arc possessing,
And more than our own will not venture to spend.
The weight of her pocket, I shall not dispute on,
If rich in her sense, disposition, and charms ;
Let her come, if she please, with her Paradise suit on,
I'll take the dear angel at once to my arms.
With a girl for my wife, such as I have pourtray'd here,
I think 1 could happily pass lift away ;
And, if fur a few other things might be pray'd here,
One verse would my utmost ambition convey.
Four acres of garden,--a house in the middle—
A neat little cottage—five rooms on a floor—
With plenty of books—and a flute—and a fiddle—
Kind Heav'n give me these !—I shall ask for no more !

THE.ITRICAL INTELLIGENCE.

HAYMARKET THEATRE.—LAst night The School for Scandal,
and other entertainments, were brought forward at this Theatre. To
do justice to this admirable comedy, each character in it should be
supported by an actor of high merit, and the flit of our corps tlra.
matique and eurnique should be exhausted. As the piece was cast
last night, some of the parts were excellently filled, others mode.
rattly well, and others very indifferently. FARREN and Miss NI on.
DAUNT personated Sir Peter and Lady Teazle—both performances
of the highest merit. With the excellence of FaitnEw's Sir Peke
the public are lent( and well acquainted. It lost nothing last night of
its richness. Miss Moeuautyr's Lady Teazle wan worthy of the
Sir l'etcr. She was lively, graceful, most lady-like, and tin.
affectedly natural. The acetic between her and Eattnex, where
she coaxes the 200!. from him—where they then quarrel—become
reconciled—promise themselves mutually a thousand good things,
and finally quarrel again, was equal to any thing that can be seen
on the stage, at present, in genteel comedy. Mts. 6 LOVEK was an
excellent Mrs. Candour, and Mr. VINING a reef lively Charles.
Mr. COOPER'S Joseph Surfirce was good, though not equal to
some that we have seen. He may take it as a compliment, if lie
pleases, but he did not look the character well. Mr. Wrairrea
made a perfect Farmer Ashfield, but a sad Sir Benjamin : he oc-
casionally, by a cruel imitation, awoke the recollection of the prince
of coxcombs, JONES and when, also, we recalled to mind the
caustic malignity of BLANCHARD'S Crabtree, we felt Mr. Wit..
LRAMS and his eternal stiuff-box to be an untoward infliction. The
merits of the cast, however, counterbalanced its deficiencies, and the
piece left a very full house in a very good heinn:ur.
Great changes, it is rumoured, are about to take place
at the patent Theatres Royal. Under the new lessee of Drury-lane
Theatre, economy—the most parsimonious economy—is said to be
the order of the day. Performers who, under other managements,
and those not over liberal, received 81. ate now offered 31. per week.
W. Fatten and Miss Faucit ate re-engaged, as are Ihtwton and Ma.
eready, who have been some time absent from the London boards.
Young, who intimated, at his last benefit, th it it was his intention
to retire from the Stage after the next season, will, it is said, return
to his old quarters at Covent-garden Theatre, where he first acquired
his popularity, for the painful purpose of leave-taking. Jones, we
are informed, ptopexes also to take a final leave on that stage where
he achieved his eariisat triumphs. Vining, of the Haymarket, and
Balls, of Covent-gerden Theatre; are engaged at Drury-lane 1 heatre.
Tom Cooke retires, for want of liberal treatment ; but varied talents,
like his, will, no doubt, be readily appreciated elsewhere.
Actors were highly honoured at Athuns, at Rome they
were despised, and not only denied all rank among the citizens, but
even when any citizen appeared upon the stage, he was expelled his
tribe, and deprived of the right of suffrage by cenatns. 'lle French
have, in this respect, adopted the ideas of the Romans—the English
those of the Greeks. IVomen actors were unknown to the ancients
among whom men always performed the female characters, and
hence one reason for the use of masks among them. Actresses are
by some said not to have been on the English stage till after the re.
storation of King Charles the Second, who has been charged wbh
contributing to the corrupting of our manners by importing this
usage from abroad ; but this can be but partly true, tbr Prynne, in
" Ilistrnmaxtix," speaks of women actors as prostitutes, which, as
the queen of Charles the First sometimes acted in the court dramas,
was one account of the severe prosecution brought against him fur
that book.—Encyclopaedia Britanica.
The late Richard Sheridan, whose fund of wit and hu-
mour was inexhaustible, and of whom a book called " Sheridania,"
might be written with great effect, hearing old Angelo, the fencing.
muter, complain that a taxed cart hail run up against him, while
oroasinig a street, coming from the Freemasons' Tavern, replied,
" My dear sir, I thought you knew better how to parry earl
(quart) than that."
The late Colonel O'Rourke, of the Grand Irish Bri-
gade in the French service, showing his duelling sword to a can.
rade, and telling him that it had killed three, and wounded half a
dosed men in affairs of honour, concluded by boasting that it was
one of the best tempered blades in Europe. " Faith," answered
brother Pat, " I should think that it must be the worst tempered
blade in the wide world to have been in so many quarrels."
Notwithstanding the
stroops prosperous state of Regent-street,
end the avidity with wbkh and houses are at up as soon
as they become vacant, it is said that there are, at this much
fewer of its original inhabitants remaining than could bimagined.