Star.
London, England, 1822-04-13 00:00:00


MILK AND HONEY 4
OR, THE LAND OF PROMISE.' • T

+....

KISS• LYDIA BARROW TO MISS KITTY BROWN.

(Front the New Monthly Mogorine. )

Hear Kate, you remember Sir Solomon Souse,
Who gave the tea party at White Conduit House ;
And swore, while we sat in the box of Apollo,
Thu Islington waters heat Tunbridge Wells hollow.
Pula, lie, and we, Tracing others to howl,
Nl'alk'd out, toward the Wells, just by way of a stroll ;
lie stoPp'd us all three at the Middleton's Head,
Then pointed aloft to the sign-post, and said, '
" The hooded old man, who is swinging up there,
Set oil, spade in hand, and took water to 'Ware:
As Het cules valiant, he treated with scorn
Dante Prudence, and took River Thames by the horn.
John Gilpin, the Cit, who itecalico dealt,
And rode with two full bottles under his telt,
Set off, whip in hand, in old %liddleton's rev,
lint kept the Cheap-side, where the Knight kept the dear. •
Both wild-goose adventurers, equally rads,
Cit lost his dinner, the Knight lost his cash;
Will Coverer got many a pound by the first,
Tee last has in gold quench'd the Company's thirst,
•
•Wito now gain a hundred per cent. by his wealth,
•
And don't even drink in the water his health. •
'Tis thus that projectors the game always give in,
And fools run up houses--for wise men to live in.
See sail to the Wells yonder pleasure-bound crew,
All talk of •GrimaiLli, none think of Sir Ilugh.
Friend Barrow, take warning keep snug iu the storm:
Cajole men and welcome; but never reform:
With Bentham bewikler, with Bonaparte frighten,
•
•
'With A-ccuto astonish : do all but enlighten
Who aims at enlightening, only out-doles •
An ophthalmic drug to a nation of moles."
This sermon, like most other sermons, dear Kitty,
Went bolt through both ears of Papa—mote's the pity !
With politics still he would make bis old fuss,
And settling the nation, he unsettled us:
For, deeming long Parliaments snares to entrap 'em,
lie made us put up with short commons at Clapham.
Popt down in my Album Sir Solomon's song
Slept sound as a sexton, and might have slept long;
But lately I've eaken it down from the shelf
To read, for—l'm turning Reformer myself!
Nay, don't cry " Lord bless us !"—I don't mean to roar
'Gainat cradle cotillons, like Miss Hannah More,
Nor leave my own &it by Grimalkin to die,
To dress other people's, like good Mrs. Fry.
I leave hearts and heads to Reformers like those,
I only, dear girl, revolutionize toes.
Kitty Brown, would you think it ? I don't say the fault's in
-s Themselves ; but the girls here know nothing of waltzing.
I tound them in Monty/met kicking their heels,
And when I named Paine, and his set of Quadrilles,
(I wonder what planet some people come from)
The poor ignoramusses thought I meant Tank.
How could, gentle Antes, the New York women be
So dull as to mix that stay-maker with thee?
What though, brother Richard, as usual, out plumpi
A pun, and declares that you both deal in Juntps—
Shalt thou, who 'midst Negus and tapers of wax,
Art christen d, par etrellenee, Paine of Alt:tack's;
Who set, to an entre-chat—La ci /a mono.
And jigg'd the dead march on an open piano—
Shalt thou be mix'd up with that infidel Turk,
Who scribbled a pamphlet in answer to Burke ?
Let White print his rival La Patine and Treniie.
And dedicate humbly to Mrs. Charles Rees;
Let Hart, like Phil Astiey, make horses turn dancers,
And play Zitii Zitti to Ilussars and Lancers.
Fear nothing: cut capers: be frisky and merry;
Not even Muscled, with his Duchease de Berry,
Ibis Traversez, chassez, dechassez, La Cheine
Shall push from the music-stand gentle James Paine.
Long, long shalt thou flourish, the King of Quadrilles;
And when, over Styx, 'midst the virtuous of heels,
Thou'rt borne to the meadows Elysian, with you
The daughter of Ceres shall dance a pas-deux :
While Hermes shall lend you his feather-bound shoes,
And whirl you to bliss in a Russian Sauteuse.
And now, my dear Kate, for the best news of all:
We have worried Papa into giving a ball.
As soon as he squeeed out a sad " Very well,"
Dick hired the rooms at the City Hotel.
Ve danced until midnight on Saturday last, -
4.nd, spite of a head-ache, I'll tell you what pass's!.
The Natives, who came out half-after eight,
'Were duly announc'd by their titles of State.
Their Honours Mat Mite and Amiondab Mum,
The one dealt in cheese, the other in rum.
His Honour Ben Block, who contracts with the Fleets
And keeps a mahogany yard in State-street: •
Ills Honour Luke Lambert, a huge lump of clay,
Who luckily happens to live in Broad-luny.
They all aeem'd amazingly shy of plain Mister;
Which made brother Richard observe to my sister,
That though they hate titles as much as O'Connor,
They cling like a Leech to the sound of " Your Honour."
And now for my dress—but my paper's scrawrd through,
So no more at present.—Dear Kitty, adieu! 1.. B.

Mr. MATHEWS, accompanied by a Noble Lord of
acknowledged taste, paid a visit during Passion Week,
to Stratford-upon-Avon, for the purpose of fixing
upon a plot of ground on which to erect a Monument
to the Memory of our beloved SLIAKSPEARE. New-
place, where the Poet's house stood, is said to be
fixed upon; and CIIANTREY is the artist.
It is confidently asserted that a certain Noble Duke,
who sold out of the five per cents. and purchased
Russian tallow, through an agent in the City, under
a belief that a duty would be laid upon it, will lose
upwards of £20,000.
A great seizure was made off the coast of Brighton on Satur-
day ; the booty is valued at Li 2,000. It is reported there, that
one resident of that place has lust more than 30,0001. by seizures,
during the winter.
Saturday,.at the Castle of Exeter, sixteen French-
men were brought before the 'Magistrates for Devon,
charged by the Commissioners of Excise with being
found in a French lugger of about Efty tons burthen,
off Otterton Head, having on board a considerable
quantity of smuggled brandy and genera. There
appeared little doubt, from the evidence, that they
sometimes employed themselves in fishing; but after
a long investigation and attentive hearing of the ex-
ceptions to the information, they were all fully con-
victed of smuggling, and necessarily fined in the pe-
nalty of 1001. each, which not being able to pay, they
were committed to the county jail. The Magistrates
intimated an intention of applying to Government
for a mitigation of the sentence.
In consequence of the humane and meritorious exertions of
Messrs. 80104152011, Daamr.and Dirmterr,' Admiralty ilidship.
men, employed in the service of the Coast Blockade, in saving
the life of the mate of a Dutch galliot, wrecked near the Mar-
talcs Tower, No. 33, the King of the Nsrmentanns has presented
to each of the above Gentlemen, by his Vice-Consul at Rye
(me. ZDWARD Cturrizavtur), a Gold Medal, bearing the follow
ins inscription :
Ds Romeo use Nags: new
• aas
Vows esroosnia Mrarsenuivenentsis
1891.
. have also the pleasure to add, that Messrs. Beamsvon and
Mans assisted in nein the crew of the French sloop, la Julio,
amok& Dear the name pincer in testimony whereof, the Magi..
limo and prlngipal Sishalthants of the ancient towns of Rye mad
wineaslaes stated the eircumstances to the Lords oGthe Adml.
Telly, and strongly recommended them to their Lordshipe notice
and consideration. In return. the Host. Secretary (Mr. Beaitoi4
sepundr.ed abet their Lordships were phased with the conduct or
sues Obcere, and would not 611 w bear k In mind."