The Sun.
London, England, 1827-12-10 00:00:00

POLICE INTELLIGENCE.

GUILDHALL.— Sibley v. Sibley.—This was a sort of
a proceeding for a restitution of conjugal rights, instituted
by Mr. Samuel Sibley, an operative converter of bullocks
into beef, against his wife Euphemia. We say a sort of a
proceeding, because it was not a proceeding strictly eon-
forniable to law ; inasmuch as " conjugal rights" are not
cognizable before a Magistrate.-:--the Ecclesiastical Courts
being the only Courts empowered by law to compel ladies
to love their husbands, whether they can love them or not.
Mr. Samuel Sibley, the husband, is, as we have already
intimated, an operative practiser against the lives of sheep
and bullocks in the purlieus of Newgate-market. Like the
renowned Talgol, he is—

" a member of that noble trade
That demi-gods and heroes made;----
Slaughter, and knocking of the head,
The trade to which they all are bred.
He many a bullock and dun-cow,
Like valiant Guy, can overthrow ;
And with more troops of sheep he's fought
Than Ajax, or bold Don Quixote ;
Till, what with toil and sweat, and that,
His very jacket shines like fat."
Nevertheless, he is a young man, and short withal ; for
though his visage and his body, from shoulder to hip, are
lengthy enough for a Life Guard, nature sadly curtailed
hint in his fork ; so that he does not stand more than five
feet two in his very strongest slaughtering sabotes. His
wife, Euphemia, is young also, and short ; but she wears
very long and fashionable gold ear-rings, with many frills,
flounces, and furbelows to suit; and she washes her face
at least once a week. She came attended by her mother,
an imperious matron six feet high, proud' of her inches,
gifted with the gab, and not at all backward in putting
her best points forward. Mr. Samuel Sibley was, like-
wise, attended by his mother—small in her person, but a
large consumer of Scotch snuff; and, the parties having
duly arranged themselves before the Bench, Mr. Samuel
Sibley pulled off his red night-cap, and opened his case as
follows
"Your Vurship,
.I married this ere gal, leastways she
married me, last Christmas-day, and a pretty Chriatraas-
box I've had of her....-there she is, and she can't deny it;
for, becoz I couldn't go for to keep the old mother of her
as yell as she, she bolts in a fortnight arter the veddin,
clean away from my place, whot I tuck for her to make
her cumfut-übble ; and I never clapped my eyes upon her
since, till I dropped upon her by faience as I vet a valkin
a little vays towert Bloomsbury last Toosday. She bolted
clean away from me, your Vurship, vithout sayin by your
le we, Mr. Sibley, or hanny think of the sort; an its nation
hard upon me, arter all the trouble I had in puttin up the
banns, and makin her cumfut-noble in every think."
" You make me comfortable—you little ugly wretch !
you know very well that you couldn't support me," said his
spouse Euphemia.
" Not support you i" cried Mr. Samuel Sibley. "Didn't
I take as genteel a three-pair front for you as Lanny lady
could vish to have ? And didn't I give you two and nine-
pence, and the silk ankicher off of my neck, the wery mor-
nin you vent avay, whot cost me four and sixpence to be
married in? Didn't I?"
Mrs. Euphemia Sibley, instead of making any comment
on the silk ankicher and two-and-nine-penny question,
propounded to her by herloving husband, turned her back
upon him and wept ; and thereupon her gigantic mamma
took the matter in hand.
" Don't cry, my love !" said the stupendous matron—
" he itent worth your notice !"
" No," responded Mr. Samuel Sibley, " I arn't vuth her
notice now you've got her into the sarvice of a single gen-
tleman I Your Vurship, her big mother there has gott'n
her in to wait upon a single gentleman somewheres up in
Bloomsbury—its him vhot brings her all them ere ear-
droppers 'and things ; and she'd the imp'rince to tell me,
her lawful husband, that the single gentleman could keep
her much better than vhot I could, and that vas vhy she
vouldn't come back to me !"
" You brute !" exclaimed her lofty mamma, what is the
single gentleman to you? You know you can't maintain
her at all !"
" Oh ! can't I though !" replied Mr. Samuel Sibley,
rolling his lengthy physiognomy from side to side; " ax
Mister Pocklinton, in Noogat-market, if I ha'nt vork'd
for him, man an boy, this eight years ; an if I arn't as
good a hand in the slaughterue as ever lifted a knife !"
" It's all nonsense ;" said the mother, "you can't get
above ten shillings a week, and you know it; and as to
lifting a knife, you know you lifted a knife to her before
you'd been married a week—you did, you ugly brute !"
• That's a—bounce! beggin your pardon, Missis Jinks,"
responded Mr. Samuel Sibley ; " and as for ugly, vhot
for did you inweigie me to be married ? Its only last
Christmas you know, and I could'ut be much handsomer
then than I ant now."
" I inveigle you to be married!" exclaimed his stately
mother-in-law—,, I scorn the action r
" Aye, " you may scorn it, noto it's dose !" rejoined
All'. Samuel Sibley; " but you know you said you'd take
the ring off of your own finger, and pet it upon she's, but
vhot vs should be married d'reekly ! and did'nt I say re
vouldn't be married with nobody's ring but our own, and
upon that, didn't I put my cleaver and things up the spout,
to buy a raal goold ring for us-selves?"
" No, no, no! you brute, I never offered you the use
of my ring, for I were against the marriage from the very
beginning," responded .his indignant mother-in-law.
" I beg your pardon, Mrs. Jiului, but you did offer,"
said Mr. Samuel Sibley's own mamma. " Anti what's
more, you would have 'em married on Christmas-day, in
regard of the better the day the better the deed."
" Aye, well, he can't maintain her, and what's the use
of talking ?" said the mother-in-law, yielding the import-
ant point; and thereupon the mother took upon herself to
inform his Worship, " that she herself always objected to
the marriage, because she thought the parties too young,
bnt that they would'nt be said,' and therefore she gave
her consent. And very comfortable they might hare
been," she added, " if Euphemia's mother hadn't a put
such high notions into her head; for my son is as honest
a lad as ever broke bread, and as pretty a workman at his
trade as ever stuck a ship I" (Query, sheep)—" But he's
never been his own man since Euphemia ran away from
him, but wanders about, and gets up in the middle of
the night, talking and raving about the girl, 'till I'm fairly
harassed out of my life with him." Here the old lady
endeavoured to ameliorate her maternal miseries, by send-
ing a handsome pinch of real Scotch up through the proper
channel to the seat of these miserable reminiscences, whilst
the obdurate Euphemia declared that she never should
have married the ugly brute, her husband, if her mother
and his mother hadn't joined together to inveigle her out of
a good place of service on purpose. " But," added she,
" he Met maintain me, and I never will go back to him !"
"That's ;right, girl !—l'd sooner rot in gaol !" exclaimed
her amiable mamma.

Pending the discussion of these family affairs, the Alder-
man had been busily im.Fagect in signing affidavits, &c., but
as soon as be was at liberty, he said, "Young woman, you
xarried your husband for better or worse, and cannot se-
parate yourself from him." .

Upon this decision the parties left the office, Euphemia
weeping, her husband noddiing his long head about in
triumph, and their respective. mammas talking each other
with all their might and main,
Next morning the hustand, Mr. Samuel Sibley, again
preattotttl himself in the witness-box. Wen," laid the
Aldfrmel, " what is the matter now ?"

I • " Please your Vurship," repi;ed Mr. Samuel Sibley,
" Thtn re get out of the Office yesterday, my rift's mo-
I tiler ktock'd me about shameful ; but, arts: that. Ye all
I vent and spent our eveniv together werry cumfuttulds at a
1-public-house, and I stood treat, and then I give my vile
in charge to a vatchman, for fear she'd run away from me
again, and be tuck her to the votehus ; but when I vent
to fetch her home this mornin, they'd lot her out ! and now
I dare say 'shall never clap eyes upon her again! 'Whet
am 1 to do, please your Vurship ?"
" '6 Why go home, and try to live without her," repi.;ed
the Magistrate ; and thereupon Mr. Samuel Sibley put on
his red night-cap, and withdrew.
BOW-STREET.--Sir R. Brame and Mr. Itar.te
were the sitting Magistrates on Saturday. In adverting to
a statement in the Times and another morning newspaper,
that they and Mr. MALLARD, County Magistrate, were
engaged until three o'clock on Friday in a private investi-
gation, which was supposed to have had reference to the
Warwick notes, both the Magistrates took occasion to deny
that such was the fact. " The truth is," observed Sir R.
arm, "we were talking about political affairs, and in-
,,t;.ing of Mr. Mallard the price of Consols, knowing that
itan to be very conversant with the public funds."
7'h, Magistrates seemed to enjoy the mistake into
whit,. <porters had fallen.
We h. '6.11Y to observe, that a gentleman who had
brought +: 'et-,y• in custody for picking his pocket, and
who was dc: 'art bringing him at once before ON:
strat;s, was t ,-;tat he could not be rultnittla4 tbAr
Worab4as -.vat privat'4y engage-l. Ife waist' in tl.a outer
room from about two o'clock untk' within -t quarter to
three, at which time it W,.s. intiuksted to him that the Nu..
gistrates were disengaged.
rests with the officers, there
fore, by whom the reporters and others wore misled, to
count fcr the urist:d4.
Soon after the above took place, Mr. Batts, widreeliag
the reporter for the Naming said—" I find, E..,
that the paper for which you rest cxpreesco great k.r