Star.
London, England, 1830-09-21 00:00:00

OLD BAILEY-(THIS DAY.)

NEW COURT.
Before 31r. Common-Sergeant DENMAN.
Wood Hill, aged '4 years, was indicied tin stealing five silver
spoons. value 21. two gold seals, six toss I.f c.nals, a pair of silver
spectacles, and other articles, the property of 11 M. 11. Piny, his bro-
ther-in-law.

The prosecutor stated, that on the 26:h of August last, the prisoner
called at his house, and after staying there about half an hour, he left
in a very abrupt manner. The next 'naming witness, on going to his
bureau, missed the articles in question ; suepectirg the prisoner, he
went in search of him, and found him in a public-house; he gave him
into custody, and some of the articles were found upon him.
Robert Smith, a police-officer, corroborated the latter part of the
prosecutor's statement.
The prisoner declined saying any thing in his defence, and was found
Guilty.
Two young urchins, named Tistotky Gregor% and Matthew White,
both under 12 years of age, were found guilty of stealing seven books
from a stationer's shop in Earl-street, I,lsson•gtove.
Mr. Wanner informed the Court that White, though so young, had
been there before.

THE BEER ACT.—Any brewer of beer for sale, or
dealer in beer, on obtaining a license, pursuant to the lei William
IV. c. 64 (the New Beer Bill) may become a retailer of beer, ae-
(wording to that act, the only parsecs prohibited flan receiving such
licences being &era' officers, officers executing the legal pnxree of any
court of justice, persons not being housekeepers to the poor
rates, and pastime disqualified by offending against the provisions rf
this am.

THE IWICPS COUh7

BLIGHTON, SErr. 2t..

fis l'lince and !'.itiees.:: CA I.ULIT Tit the Baron mai B.:-
rem:s Bu w, Admiral and Mrs. MA ITL AI D, and Mr. and
Mrs. DA wsoN, hat: the honour of dining with their N,.-
JESTIES yesterday, at the Pavilion.

This day his Royal Highness ti:2 Prince LEOPOL.D ui
Saxe Cobourfi and Baron Sroca mA it soak their departwo
from the Pavilion.

This afternomi, their Royal filigbnisscics the Duke raid
Duchess of Gtouc EST EU, and Capt.tin Usu rx, arrivuld uu
a visit to their MAJESTIES.
His Royal Highness the Duke of CAM nKI Dc. E retp
from his shooting excursion; and Sir WI 1.1. IA M PEACH r e
had an audience of the KING ; after which his MAJ E.6T 1
accompanied by the PatsicEssys, ride out in a
The QUEEN, MISS BOYLE, and Miss Firrzcf AK CF, r9d..
out on horseback.
In the course of the day, tl.e followiag Noblemen and
Gentlemen made their inquiries, and Ira t'►eir
Pavilion :

Sir 11.011ERY WILSON, B.
Lord BERESFORD,
Admiral Sir SYDNEY SM .
The Prince LEON SAPILTEA,
The Prince and Priums C. 10): • rii
Count DONIIOFF,
Rear-Admiral MA ITLA N 0,
Mrs. MAITi.
Count Kt EL3:INN EGG e,
Mr. litmr,
The GAllLlCStillowag,m. of Su LI I I LLD,
The 11onouralL3 Mrs. Henault D,
Miss NV ERA NI, and
The Barou and B::roness BuLow.

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LITERARY INTELLIIIRATE.

Thr veto Monthly +'o•;rtsine of current month,contains many

excellent articles; and, throughout the whole, which appear to us to

he an unusually thick number of 200 pages, its Readers will find
nothing devoid either of amusement or instruction. There is nothing
in principle which we think it proper to condemn, except the paper on
" Birmingham and Representation." We have seldom read a more
flippant, inconsequential attempt at reasoning, than this essay. It for-
tunstely must rather prove favourable to the great cause of reform than
the contrary. The account of " A C,ommers, or German Thinking
Rout," is a verycharacteristic sketch of orgies, something similar to those
which were not uncommon in ourTeutonie country but a few years back.
Sketches from the Ganges," we are able to say, are not more lively
titan correct ; and the " Recollections of Sweden" must delight all
Reeder.. The papers on the French Clergy give, we believe, a fair ac-
count of a class of men in whom, although almost unfashionable to say
it. there is much to censure. The " History of the French Revolu-
tion" Las many curious particulars which we have not before seen. Of
poetry " The Fatherless," of T. Haynes Bayley, is a ballad of much
feeling, and the Lyric Lays, as formerly, possess humour. We shall
abridge an amusing paper called the " Female Quark," for our sample
of the number

THE FEMALE QUACK.

I: k one of the many thousand mistakes of human creatures to hos-
gine themselves the greatest proficients in the very arts in which they
are moat deficient ; and hence numerous poor innocent souls, who might
glide down the stream of life unmolested and unmolesting, thrust them.
..elves forward with their own stupid delusion as the pilot, and, after
wandering among the quicksands of public opinion, at hat find them-
selves wracked on the shoals of ridicule and contempt.
The subject of this paper was an instance of extraordinary delu-
sion. Without the slightest knowledge of the subject, she fancied her.
self vety far superior to Esculapius, or the more learned Galen of old,
or of Chambers or Belford, of the modems.
At the age of eighteen she resided in the country with her aunt, and
here first were planted the seeds of that branch of science which she
afterwards so splendidly developed. Her aunt, a good old lady, with
an asthma and a bunnion toe, was the greatest quack in the parish. She
had an album, but far different from the pulings of drawing.room poets
or incipient rhymesters ; her album contained no love-enticing ode—no
verses on a dead dove—no acrostic on the owner's name—no daub of a
flower by Lucy Wilkins, or poem on a bee, by Henrietta Simpkins.
No, her album was well-stocked with medical recipes, and every one
in her neighbourhoodiknew, that to gain her favour she had only to
take the hat doctor's receipts, and state her case. Her book was valuable
certainly—to her invaluable ; morning, noon, and night, she studied;
and feeling sure, poor soul ! that she alleviated the miseries of the poor,
she instructed her niece to do the same, and kept her continually arrang-
ing the medicine chest, or rolling a pill.
There is a charm over early womanhood, known only to those wbo
have felt the Veen dart of love : the beautiful moisture glistening in
the eye of early beauty—the well.turned fort:v.-the elegant, firm step—
the conscious blush of innocence—these are the almost sure accompa-
niments of eighteen, and at this age women are the most seducing.
Sophia languished a spinster until twenty-eight, when the blind god
haring blinded a Major, the offer was made, affection declared, and
they married. Her husband was a man of excellent disposition and
quiet manners—one who, rather than have a quarrel, would do anything
to avoid it ; he was the real peace-maker, religious, accommodating,
and charitable.

The fourth day after the nuptials, Sophia bought a medicine-chest,
and began a regular book of receipts ; she now determined to study the
various publications of the day—to regulate herself, husband, and
household by the regimen prescribed in every medical book, which every
medical man recommends, and not only follows, until gout, dropsy,
bloated fatness, or cutaneous eruptions, force them into the starvation
before forced upon the healthy,and before declared the only way to avoid
the miseries now fallen on themselves. In the mean time, an active
war was commenced on the cats; every new prescription was first tried
upon those unfortunate brutes; some died, some fell sick, some ran
away; and, at last, not a cat could be found near the habitation.
" My dear," quoth she one day to the Major, " Paris says, that soups
arc bad for digestion ; they weaken the power of the gastric juice, and
therefore I shall have no more; believe me, they are only fit for thin
Frenchmen and invalids, and certainly, as I believe every word in that
excellent work, I shall hinder you from ruining your health; you know
I understand these things."
lier husband, who, with a moderate proportion of sense, was the
greatest fool in existence, allowed himself to be henpecked, ruled, and
commanded, like those shadows of men—" slaves."

When Philips (I believe) wrote his trash upon spider pills, it chanced
that a quotation from that nonsensical quackism was published in the
Times. It asserted that fevers had been cured by the spider pill, and
that in the West Indies, especially at Batbadoes, the medicine of the
web had been used to great effect. This was quite enough for Sophia :
she had often felt her husband's pulse, and with much gravity declared
he had an intermittent fever whenever the moon changed ; and as she
generally found it out about the period of the changes, it is more
than probable that the moon affected her more than her husband.
However, sick he was voted, and sick he was obliged to be. Spider
pills were administered four times a day : the house was rummaged for
webs ; and when, thanks to the cleanliness of the maid, the search was
hopeless, Sophia founded a colony in her own bed-room, and desired
the grocer to bring in cobwebs with his weekly bills: it is hard to say
which of the two were the most disagreeable. In the mean time, the
warlike preparation of a galvanic battery became in full force, and the
poor husband was kept jumping and bumping upon a chair for half
an hour every day, by the church dock. Fried fish was prohibited.—
they were greasy ; and butter was only fit to grease cart wheels, and
was, moreover, evidently an invention of Satan's to catch his friends be.
fore the proper time. Every mode of preparing food underwent consi-
deration. Paris and Johnson, her two oracles, were rummaged from
morning to night. Much doubt was occasioned by the very unsatis-
factory manner of settling what ought to be eaten at breakfast by
Paris. One thing is certain, he does not recommend beef steaks and
ale, as taken by the maids of honour in Elizabeth's time. Neitheris he
altogether for the Marcus Antoninus system, who began with a dry
biscuit ; whereas, in hot climates, cold water is recommended. Hew
bread, spongy rolls, butter, milk, or cream, are all prohibited ; and
much doubt exists if fluids, in any quantity, should be used. Sophia,
after well pondering the subject, decreed that her husband should eat
dry bread, in moderate quantity; and after that had been swallowed
one quarter of an hour, a large cup of coffee, without any emollients,
was allowed to be taken, Paris being of opinion that it is requisite to
replenish " the loss which the fluids of the body have sustained by
perspiration, as well as to rectify the quality of newly elaborated matter
introduced into the circulation during sleep." All luncheons were dis-
carded ; she herself fortified nature during the day, but her husband
was desired on no account to touch any thing. Spallanzani, Hunter,
Alt,rnethy, and a tribe of other organizers of diet, were consulted, in
order to make the dinner the most nutritious, and easiest of digestion.
My reader has now the female picture, faithfully drawn, and shall
now have some more digestible food fee the mind. It happened, about
six months after her marriage, that the health of her husband made it
necessary to retire into the country ; and as the louts who vegetate in
those distant, hardly known parts, were unfit society for a woman of
her talent, she decided upon a small village in Cumberland, not far
from one of the lakes. The object of this situation was two-fold : her
husband had kept before marriage a dog which had licked his chin.
when he, thinking of his future happiness, disregarded his present, and
cut himself when shaving. Now. as hydrophobia had been known to
arise from a circumstance equally trivial—the Duke of Richmond's
case. for instance—she led her husband every morning to the lake, to
witness his approach to the water, and to note down carefully, every
day, her opinion as to the result. Thus I find in the album, on a slip
of paper wafered in, " July 2.—Am much annoyed—the Major made
horrible faces on approaching the lake, which he said was occasioned
by a fly—my gond gracious goodness me! what should I do if he were
to go mad !" The second reason was, the solitude : there, in seclusion.
she could watch the progress of his health there doat on his emaciated
form—and there quack him to her heart's content. It happened in the
village, that s young woman, who low fancied herself in a way to in.
crease the parish stock, counted boa time as near, and felt certain that
an anodyne draught foe which ahellhad the prescription, to be taken
" pro re nate" (occasionally), would alleviate her sufferings : she sent
the same to the village apothecary. It so happened that he had died
an hour before, leaving ale' inhabitants to the care of GOD add Mrs.

Bingham's medical knowledge. The poor creature, in the agony of
child-birth, as she thought, sent her husband to Mrs. Bingham, re.
questing her, for the love of Heaven, to send her the medicine.
Sophia now thought her fame was established ; the medicine-chest
was produced, the stuff mixed, and, being determined to do things se-
conduit' orlon, on the paper which enveloped the phial, she wrote—
" To be taken at night," (and the " pro re nate" was translated) "for
the thing born," which happened unfortunately to have evaporated into
empty air. Well would it have been for the poor woman if she had
only lost her child : she was now to lose her health. Another apothe-
cary was sent for, who lived about twenty miles distant, and he being
in a hurry, and understanding that the rich lady knew all the medial
terms, and the apothecary's art, and having approved of the anodyne,
be wrote down, " Pergat cum mistura," meaning, " Lot her go on with
the mixture." This, however, was too much for Sophia ; but unwil-
ling to appear ignorant, she determined it must be meant for, " let her
be purged with a mixture," and sent a wholesome dose of senna and
salts, which carried the lady into the other world before salvation in
the shape of a doctor could arrive. The whole blame was attributed
to the poor apothecary, who was supposed to have bungled the busi-
ness, and she died, according to the coroner's language, " by the visi-
tation of GOD."

The poor half-starved and whole-poisoned husband now drew to.
wards his latter end; he was the mere skeleton of a tnan ; the ream.
rectlon.men eyed him as he passed ; even the crows cawed the louder
when he presented his carrion carcase; all hope was relinquished by the
medical attendants, and Mrs. Bingham was left to her last resource.
She had read, on some of the covers of the Eau de Cologne bottles, that
a man wrapped in a blanket saturated with that inestimable perfume
had actually recorned—at the last gasp 1 and to this she turned with
all the ardour of hope. It was November, chill and cold ; the poor
Major was drawn from his warm bed, where he might have died like a
gentleman, into the centre of the room ; he was wrapped in the cold
blanket, and thus would have terminated his miserable existence, but
the wife, in the hurry of the moment, brought the candle too close to
the patient, the spirit ignited, and the poor Major, who had stood fire,
famine, and foreign foes, died by the fire of his own wife, who left him
to be nosed In the lobby, although he certainly did not smell horribly
in the natal.