The Sun.
London, England, 1826-09-08 00:00:00

POETRY.

HOW TO MANAGE A JOINT STOCK COMPANY.
Scene; the Board Room.— Present, the Chairman and Directors.
Chairman—Well, Gentlemen, since wa have nothing to say,
And nothiurto do, we have done for to-day ;
We therefore break up, mind, I mean as a Board,

And a 'guinea for each the concern can afford.
Second Director—Take notice, we only break up us aßoard.
Otnnes—And a guinea for each the concern can afford.
(Mamma—Before we depart we must tarry a bit,
And now as " Committee of Management" sit.
Second Director-0, certainly, certainly, 'would be a pity,
To break up before we have sat in Committee.
Chairman—For each, in Committee, no longer a Beard,
A guinea the Company well can afford.
Omnes—Of course, for Committee, no longer a Board,
A guinea for each the concern can afford.
Chairman—" The Management" over, we next must proceed
To " Dividends," mind, in Committee.
()ranee— Agreed.

In Committee, for talking the dividends o'er,
The concern will of course pay us one guinea Mo're.
Chairman—To be sure, and the "Dividends" due, we must next
Make " Instalments" our subject, our tlfeme, or our text.
As Committee on these, for our labour to day,
Each a guinea, at least, the concern ought to pay.
Omnes—Of course, for our toil at " Instalments" to-day,
A guinea, at least, the concern ought to pay.
Chairman—Well, new to our homes—ere we all have been
packed,
'Tie fitting eft first as a 't Special Board" act,
The " Accounts in Committee" we next have to read,
Then sit in Committee on "Rent Roll and Deed ;"
One guinea for each we must certainly charge,
But is such allowance suff►ciently large ?
Danes—One guinea for each we must certainly charge,
Though the sum is by no means sufficiently large.
Chairman--I think notindeed; in this very hot weather,
However, we'll knock off,ithe whole three together,
To say or do more would'be cutting a flash,
So now we have only to pocket the cash.
Omnes—To say or do more would be cutting a flash,
So now we have only to pocket the cash.
Chairn.an—Such Companies, though at their starting ISOM
scrupled,
I hope to see tripled, nay even quadrupled,
To those who their hopeful Directors would trouble,
I swear they are nothing at all like a " Bubble ;"
As good as the Bank each is certain to be,
At least they pay more than the Bank e'er paid me.
Then 0 may they flourish Lill time shall by o'er,

Or, whut ill the Same thing, till / am no Mo're. •
[The (.`latirtnan and Directors divide the Shareholders' money,
and exeunt laughing.)

When the accounts of the astonishing success of
Buonaparte arrived in Italy, a young Nobleman ob-
served, " that he had gamed most of those advan-
tages from the assistance of some new Generals he had
created." " I know no General he has lately creat-
ed," said George Colman, "hut one—General Con-
sternation."

Among .the Romans, swimming was a part of the
gymnastic art, and entered into the system of general education.
One mode was, resting upon a skin and steering by the feet,
These skins were hides of goats stuffed with straw, and hence
came the invention of ascoyephyric bridges, consisting of joined
skins. Swimming with bladders is ancient. Tucking up the
tunic was a preparation for swimming iu cases of danger, far'
quicker than modern dress allows. Cork jackets were anciently
used.. Swimming cattle the first Sunday of harvest; a Roman
superstition, is still practised in Irelaud.--.Bury Gazette.
THE LIBERTY WEAvEus.--We are sorry to have
it to state, that these unfortunate people are again likely to be
thrown upon the world. It appeara that the funds of the Relief
Committee aro again reduced to the lowest ebb, nor did it require
arithmetical knowledge to anticipate that this must be the inevitable
consequence of employing them at a species of labour not remu-
nerative. Had they been set to pulverise bones, or even to
collect manure in the neglected streets of the metropolis,
there would have been some return ;—but breaking of stones,
and making of roads, could not fail to diminish the funds
just in the exact amount of the weekly wages to be paid. It
is a melancholy state for a country to be reduced to, when a
body of men, willing to work for the smallest stipend that will
keep body and soul together, cannot procure even that pittance.
Such wad the case on yesterday evening ; it was communicated to
the weavers, that the committee could no longer afford to pay
them one shilling a day for their labour,' and that, in future, they
were to receive see shilling ' for every ton weight of stones they
broke.. They. replied, they would have bread, not stones, and,
between five And six o'clock yesterday afternoon, a large 'body of
them commenced an attack on the bakers' and hunters' shops in
the neighbourhood of Kevin-street and New-street. The presence
of the police quickly dispersed them; and three of them were
made prisoners, and lodged in Kevin-street police-barracks.—
These men were all overseeri.—Freemen's Journal of Tuesday,
MELANCHOLY SUICIDE.—On Thursday morn-
ing, in Kilkenny, a soldier Of the 65th, now in that garrison,
whose name is Quinn, shot himself through the body
and heart,
and almost instantly expired. The Kilkenny Independent says
..—.‘t It is customary for the Colonel to bring a portion of his regi-
ment each morning, at an early hour, to fire at a target in
some of the fields convenient to this 'city. Those who are to go
out are apprised of the matter the preneding evening. No notice
whatever was given to the deceased, 'Michael Quinn, until about
half-past four on Thursday morning. The drill-sergeant, whose
name is John Kitchen, made him
without either shirt, stockings, or shoes, and gave directions to a cor-
poral named MatheWs, to keep him moving in double. quick
to
aotautt:utriti'et,wesat'ins:_ttalerr:cao lituttnutuntilit'le:gellelest.iiionleeu' reachedt
ohltiimil,t astonishment,utuaiiltell
ebiiiealwaltruairneeka..
if he slackened his pace.
time,' and to goad him with his bayonet, .
leave his pallet
.and the barracks
by the torporal, in
Paloufelithe tlirone*, but
tPhoeOtrdQiegruizieflteliftpltilgtiett,bainrrdaigekn
unmerited injury offered
.ie moved after the
erehe contrived
to him, not only as the sworn defender
lit due h as
a
cor-
poral, shirtless and Jere . ..
quarry, which, is about
a yards behind the corporal, cud to delay about ten or twelvee.me.
Thecorporal, .
to
With his musket over his smhodueldeori,stant.'There
. ,
saw hint with the muule of his
..rUon
being
placed at his right
mod his toe in the trigger. u bet:lg Asked by Mathews,
breast,
whit be was going to do ? he replied,could
you
left' shoulder. To
will know that
bitolei"eiesenfroohawitstislyitelo,uiptaslinadkodrbeQealfautititite,al
Pr
be forced to return about eight o'clock in the morning, into the
lour city of Kiikanuy, in the minutely and unsoldier-like garb
pop
en-
tered his right breast, and passed throne* his
M which the military petty tyrant compelled him to leave hie bar-
racks, was art -ordeal which his pride. would not permit him to
submit to, and to avoid which: he formed the desperate resolution
of putting an end to his existence." The verdict of the Coroner'i
4,1 wa5,...... Ws find that Michael Quinn mine by his death in
consequence of his having discharged a bullet through his right
side with his musket (the Jurors suppose) in a state of momentary
derangement,'---Dublin Morning Repititer.