The Sun.
London, England, 1817-08-22 00:00:00

ADVERTISEMENT FOR A WIFE.

A Wtnowea, tinned of forty-eight,
Desires once more to change his state,
And on that happy life re-enter,
Which blest him in each former venture.
But since, for woman or for man,
It seems a rather simple plan,
Their pig to purchase in a poke,
Ile iiti,rs not the nuptial yoke—
(Which is in truth a serious joke,
And claps in many a wheel a spolse)—
Eit her to be bestowed or taken,
Till he describes the wedding bacon.
So come, my girls, young, fair, and rich;
Among ye all he's curious, which
Will hid the highest for the flitch;
While what he gives, and what he seeks,
In full description thus he speaks.

Imprimis—for his gifts of Nature;.-
TPti. Dountss is his nomenclature;
Fire feet three inches are his stature.
His shape is swig, and round, awl tight;
His eyes are small. and grey, and light;
His teeth are long, no very white :
But where their number is so few,
Of less importance is their hue.—
But then, his be,ly's like a tutu;
His cheeks are full ; his nose is snub ;
His legs are like a cabbage stomp;
His fret are thick ; his calves are plump;
His chin is double, rotund, and lug ;
He sports a spruce and three-cured
011 wrek.tiays red—his tind,ty caxon
Displays a fashionable flaxen.—
Pigtail he chews, takes snuff, and blows
With a brown hatulkerchi f 11:s nose.
Striped are his ,tockings, blue and white ;
Well blacked his shoes, with buckles bright;
His inexpressibles so siout,
Wear greasy, but they wo'nt wear out ;
His coat us red, his waistcoat blue ;
'Tis scarce six years since they were new.--
So lucre's a husband to y. or view,
For matrimony neat and handy;—
Sweet lumn of Cupid's stior-.antly !
Dear Ladies, is he not a Dand ?

But it is right to tell C3CII Nl:ss,
Of one important point—'tis this—
That he has left off business.—
The Advertiser was 1.1,:t year
A comfortable cheesemouger.--
His lies/ wife byre in 1),ot-street,
And in a barrow wheeled cats' meat ;
The xecoed, whom !its bed did grace,
Was a Jew's widow in Duke's-olace ;
The third....-who left him to despair
Kept a wig warehouse in Rag-lair.—
Buying the wig he now doth wear—
("rwas her good genius led him there—)
Sly Cupid for him laid the snare ;
Fur she was her late husband's heir :
So love eternal lie did swear,
And hair is wig, and wig is hair.—
But when death laid his darling flat,
He clapt a crape upon his hat :
And now, in the deeine of lite,
Hr advertizes for a w fe,
In Linty and in love to be
The fourth to this lamented three.
Now who will prove the happy she,
To regulate his family ?
Taxes are high,. anti trade is low,
And times, he thinks, begin to grow
A little queerish, Or SO SO;
And every thing so dear has gut,
He cent afford his pipe and pot.
Ilis chilinen too, they fire so many,
They n,n away with every penny.
Their number readily is reckoned—
Two of his first wite, five his second;
'Which makes, you see, no more than seven;
Fein of his thirst are jest eleven;—
Sweet pledges of his wives in Heaven
In these his sole affecti)m centers;
Ilis childten by flyer different Ventures.
They want, amid their noise and riot,
A step-mother, to keep them quiet,
AIM tech them manners, airs, and graces;
And mend their clothes, and wash their faces.
Now for the sort of damsel fair,
Whom he desires his lot to share.—
Her age, from twenty to fifteen:—
The point of beauty lies between :
She must he lovely in her face;
Of height!), jest tall enough for grace,
(That medium we so seldom see!)
And low enough for dignity.
As to the colour of her hair,
It may he brown, or black, or fair,
Because he's not particular.
For nim it will he quite enough,
If veither rat tailed, short, nor rough,
But, Ladies, ',ark you by the way,
It roust be neither red nor grey;
Otherwise, he don't mind a fig,
Provided she don't wear a wig.
Her eyes, whateer their hue, must shins
With beams of sentiment divine,
And sweetly nit his hopes incline.
Her nose, it must he aquiline,
Or of a gentle Grecian bend :
Her cheeks must rose and lilly blend;
Ruby her lips ; her teeth must he
White as the whitest ivory :
Though he will not reject the Girl,
IVhose mouth displays two rows of pearl,
While she, her shoulders fair to deck,
Reseeves the Ivory for her neck :
Since, when a Lady's at his beck,
'Twould be unkind her hopes to check,
Just for a trifle of a speck.
Scarcely he knows which to prefer,
Since troth he's not particular.
But, tho' small matters he won't mention,
(A fact that proves his condescension,)
Her bosom claims his best attention :
The painter's skill, the bard's invention,
('an never be enough to speak
the beauty that his wishes seek.
Her skin must he smooth, soft, and tender,
Her shape exact, and nice, and slender,
And ne cosmetic used to Mend her :
Ile hopes the hint will not offend her,
For lie wants her in her native splendour.
Great stress he lays on legs and feet;
They must he very, very neat :
Her fingers long, and round tier arms ;
And tke et-cmtera of charms,
Which would this widower content,
If fur his future comfort sent.
Are in their number and extent
Too long fur an Advertisement.
As for accomplishments. though these
Are indispensible to please
A Widower of taste so nice,
He will dispatch them in a trice.
The Wife, who is for him design'd,
Must have a cultivated mind,
Witty, and wise, obliging, kind,
Polite, attentive, sod efin'd,
And willing to be disciplined.
The harp, the harpsichord, and lute,
Must with her voice and finger suit ;
And she must never presume to ;ay no,
When call'd by hint to the piano.
Then, she must sing as sweet as any
Miss Stephens, Hughes, or Catalan'.
In painting she must bear the hell,
In every fancy work excel.
Of velvet, worsted, silk, and shell,
Anti thousands more he cannot tell.
Quadrilles and Waltzes she must dance,
Of Italy, and Spain and France,
In the first stile of elegance.
At home this Lady must be able
With grace to regulate his table—
You sec he's not unreasonable.
And 'twill he not amiss that she
Should be deep read in Cookery,
And kractice strict ecouonly.

in ctilirotry sttripis
'lle stilt'. of Yii,tivss ilannah Glass;
The buioli of learned Ductur Ttlisler
Tu her should never prove a puzzler,
Whene'er this Widowersliali
His dinner upon soups or stews,

Cutlets or pasties, or ragouts.

And have at hand
,whatever nice is,
In curries, picnies, sweets, and spices.

At work thy servants she' must keep,
And see they're not too fond ut sleep;
At son-rise every day beginning
With sweepi.g, Niid spinning,
And ev& ry day r.t son-set ending
With settling, cleaning up, and mending;
And every moment recommending-
The duly to keep clear it spending.
She must he carefill of his purse,
And be both housekeeper and nurse;
And air his bed, and warm his whey ;
And wait noun ;Jim night and day;
And ready have the nightcap red,
To pop upon his darling' head;
And she most never think it shocking,
To foot or heel his worsted stocking.
The wife elect, the lucky she,
Wlui ventures in this Lottery,
And draws it's n•litial prize, must be
Of 'an high ancient family;
And he expect: to he I hrough her
A kin to half th, Calendar;
For, though he would a Duke's prefer,
He is nut so particular,
As to refuse a handsome girl,
Though but the daughter of an Earl.
And for that foolish thing, called money,
'Tis not his view in matrimony.
knows it would he rather wrong,
To expect an Heiress like Miss Lung;---
A reason:Oily Loud Estate,
Secure, and snug, and moderate,
With tows and country house, and plate,
Is al tln he requires of Fate
• Nor will he shilly-shally wait
Par more than one small spot that's clear
Above ten thousand pounds a year:—
(You Sec lie's wit particular:)
With fifty thousand pounds in hand
Fur her dear Hubby to command.
And out of this, to fully prove
His liberality and love,
And shew, by marks of strung affection,
How she'll be sure of his protection,
If worthy of such predilection,
Heil ,rule, should her friends yu please,
Provision fur her future ease,
Fl'olll her own fortune to trustees,
A very coni:ortali!e jointure;
So that if Fate sbuuld dis,ppoint her,
By taking off her Imslould dear,
She'll have one hundred pounds a year,
As Widow of this Widower.
The rest will hou.ses find and carriages,
Comforts which nu wise man disparages,
For the issue of his three first marriages.
To joy and happiness like this,
Which) prudent girls will hardly miss,
Whatever Lady shall incline,
She'll be so gond to send a line.
And it 'tis fairly her intent
To notice this Adiertisement,
She positively may rely
On honour and on secresy,
With strong- iutiolability,
And silence and security.
Then let her letter quickly be
Left at the Printer's for 1%1).
Who will to any friend of her's
Communicate particulars.
No preference is promised, so
The rule, my girls, is touch and go.
Your vigour will by this be nerved;
First come is sure to be first served.
Much needless trouble to prevent,
And questions too impertinent,
In answering this Advertisement,
Initials will meet no attention :
All letters real names must mention,
With age, and height, and situation,
Temper, estate, and education,
Such as will hear investigation ;
And references must be made.—
N.B. The letters all post-paid.

REGISTER OF FASHION.

ROYAL VISIT TO THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF

MARLBOROUGH.

On Mond,,y, her MAJEsTY, the Princesses Au-
GUSTA and ELIZABETH, their Royal Highnesses
the Duke and Duchess of:GLOUCESTER, Ptincess
SorntA of GLOUCESTER, and several of the Nobi-
lilitY, paid a visit to the Duke and Duchess of
NlARLnottoron, at their beautiful seat of White
Knights. The Royal Party arrived about twelve
o'clock, and utter taking refreshment, proceeded
in open carriages to visit the gardens and pleasure
groundi of tkis delightful place.. The day, though
cloudy, was pleasant, and the park and lawn were
rendered more lively and int-cre.tin:, from being
peopled with ;troupes of company from Reading,
acrd the adj,icent villages, wit , gayly dressed, ena-
melled with every hue the verdant landscape, and
added the charm of 'notion to its local beauties.
The Duke of MARLBOROUGH'S band of music
was stationed in the wo.ids, and every circum-
stance attended to by the Nonle Proprietor, which
could add to the enjoyment of the scene. The
extent of the grounds occupying much time in
traversing, unfortunately the rain began to fall
before the Royal Visitants had completed their
exclusion—a circumstance which ushered them
the sooner to a splendid collation, in which ele-
gant magnificence and luxurious hospitality were
ryiany colispicuouS. Her MAJESTY looked very
well, and returned the warm greetings of the
crowd with notch cheerfulness and affability. We
were happy to observe !I! Duchess of GLOCCES-
TEE appeared in gm-id health and spirits, as in-
deed were all the Royal Party. The last visit
our venemble Monarch made, previous to his hi-
mewed indisposition, was to White Knights in
1805, since which time both the house and
grounds have received such improvement from the
fine taste of the present Duke, as to render it
unrivalled.

Dam,lisb is filling fast with genteel company.—
This delightful Watering-place presented a scene
of greatgaiety on. the 12th inst.—the Ball, at the
Rooms, in the evening, in honour of the PRINCE
REGENT'S Birth-day, under the patronage of Lady
INIALLET VAUGH AN, was most ❑umerously and
fashionably attended.
Lord WILLIAM RUSSELL, son of the Duke of
BEDFoRD, is now at Paris with his spouse, niece
of the Marquis of 1-lAsTi NOS. This Lady (say
the Pads Papers) is considered one of the hand-
somest women of England.
THE FEMALE Eva.--A modern writer gives the
following enumeration of the expressions of a fe-
male eye :—The glare, the stare, the leer, the
sneer, the invitation, the defiance, the denial, tire
consent, the glance of lore, the flash of rage, the
sparkling hope, the latignisliment'of softness, the
squint of suspicion, the fine of jealousy, and the •
lustre. of pleasure.