The Sun.
London, England, 1844-12-27 00:00:00

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" CONFESSIONS OF A CONDUCTOR.
"'Buses ie erroneously said to hold only 13 insides
if they like they can hold a great many more, besider,
bundles and wet umbrellas. Man is a squeezableL
animal, and 'buses is like carpet bags, there's .no
knowing what they will hold till you tiles 'ern. Cow-
sequently, though your 'buss seems full, shove 'em
and drive on, and they are sure to shake down and fit
in as close as wood-pavement. Bad sixpences is useful
on rainy nights, fur stingy women as won't pay more
than the fare for them,t.lves and a carawan full of
parcels. When short of pas,engers, stop at the corner
of every street to make obserwations and dance ihe
Polka on the foot-board.
" EXPERIMENTS IN CHEMISTRY.
" Potato is nothing but starch; but a piece of
potato dropped into a glass of grog would not have
the effect of stiffening it.

" CHEAP FURNITURE.
" You must not give a house-warming if you have
bought cheap furniture, for the warming of the house
will melt the glue, and the furniture will fall to
pieces. A house may be furnished for 401., if your
necessities are confined to a deal table and a knife-
box, a couple of japan chairs, and a Pembroke two-flap.
It has been said that the cheap furniture is made of
green stuff, but the stuff is not half so green as those
who buy it.

" HINTS FOR SHOPPING.
" If you want to purchase a piece of tape, go to
Waterloo House, and ask to look at everything new,
in dresses, cardinals, cloaks, muffs, carpets, and fea-
thers. Having fixed:upon what you would purchase
if you had the money, say, you see nothing to suit
you,' buy your tape, and resolve, by future rigid
economy in the house-keeping, to squeeze that duck
of a polka jacket' out of the pies and puddings.
" A FEW WORDS TO 'I HE LAUNDRESS BY ONE OF

THE TRIBE.

" Don't never wash for a two-pair back, if so be
you can help it. He's sure to miss one of his two
shirts when you takes home the basket. Squares is
good, and so is terraces if they're opulent, as they
don't go to tea-gardens on Sundays, and so can't have
their feelings hurt by seeing you in their silks and
muslins (which, in course, you've sent to a wrong
party) at the Condick, or Copinghagen, where you
may take 'em to air 'em.
" EXPORTATION OF BRIDES.
" Mothers with a multitude of daughters should
divide the favours of their family fairly between their
native country and the colonies. Thus those daughters
who are blessed with aquilines and raven tresses will
be found admirably adapted for home consumption,
whilst snubs and doubtful auburns should be de-
voted to the Indian market. N.B.—Squints will do
for Canada.

" HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY.
" The cheapest way to furnish a room is to paper
it with postage stamps. For this purpose put all
your friends under contribution. You will only re-
quire 33,542 to paper a small room. The most expe-
ditious method is to advertise for a ladies' horse, a
Natif de Paris, or a grand piano (letters post Paid),
and with the answer.. ru will receive you will have
sufficient to paper your largest ro'cnn; and a cupboard •
to spare.

" POPULAR DELUSION.
" It is the greatest fallacy to suppose the'post was
invented merely to carry letters. The postage was
reduced to enable tradesmen to send their goods at a
cheaper rate. The central depot of this new Parcels'.
Delivery Company is at St. Martin's-le-Grand, where
cats, turbots, trunks, eggs, dogs, coal-scuttleN lobsters, -
chairs, butter, and every article of food and furni-
ture, from an oyster to a four-poster, are received
up to seven P.m. N.B.—Cats, turbots, coal-scuttles,
and four-posters are not admissible through the,
opening in the letter-box, but must be delivered in at
the window.

" HOW TO MAKE A GUY.
" Get a head of long hair turned up at the ends,
and put it on a chapeau Francais, take a pair of
mustachios, an imperial, and eye glass ; add to these
a blue satin scarf, with a gold pin like a beadle's staff,
braided coat, crimson waistcoat, ladies' boots; canary
kids, a tremendous swagger, and a very small riding
whip.. Put these together on a block, turn it into
Regent-street about three o'clock, and you will have
succeeded in making a perfect guy.

" IMPORTANT TO lIORROWERi.
" The present quotations in the money market for
.50/. bill are 101. in money, and the rest in good •
cholera Cape. The advantages of this system are—
you can have your bill discounted by the father, be
sued by the son, arrested by the uncle, sold up by the
nephew, and locked up in the sponging-house by the
first cousin. " MEDICAL. N
" Certain cure of a cold in a prima donna. Stop
her salary, or put a rising vocalist in her part."

Tim IRISH LINEN TRADE.—The following is the
latest report from Belfast:—The weavers being now at
full work, the demand for yarns has been very steady.
Prices have a downward tendency, as several spinners,
finding they could not realise the late advance, have sub-
mitted to a reduction of lid. per bundle, and a further
reduction is generally anticipated by the manufacturers. ;
Heavy linens for the home trade are easy of sale, but
export goods do not realise first cost to the manufacturer
and have never been at a lower point, as regards prices, •
than at the present moment.
RAISING THE WlND.—During the bustle which
prevailed at Alnwick fair, Northumberland, lately, a.
fellow had the courage to try the temper of the multi-
tude
by a new stratagem for raising the wind. His
show board was inscribed with the following intimation:
—" Wonderfully curiosities of neature ; you may see
alive heer, the most wonderfullest cheiree-coloured cat,
from Shropshire, and the stipenduous rose-coloured
pigeon, from the 'West of England. Also secrets worth
noing, by the proprietor. All for twopence." Such
prodigies, and at such a price, could not fail of attract-
ing a crowd of spectators, who, on their admittance,
were gravely shown a black cat and a gehite pigeon; they
then very naturally stared at each other, when the ex-
hibitor, trusting to their good-humour, very confidently
addreNed them—" Naow, ladies and gemmen, I have
perform's-I my promise we' oe—for you must ne as haow,
there be bias& cherries and white rooases, and such be
the colours my cat and my pigen. I have shown you,
moreover, a whale tent full o' people not half so wise as
they think for, buf wiser naow than when they came in;
and naow (pulling olF.his hat) I hopes you will keep my
secret, and not male oO•cr folks outside as win as your-
sel, until they ha' paid fiee it, as you. Now, my secret •
is, that you have relies ed a por fellow at a trifling cost,
that must ha' gone to bed supp&less, with his woife and
children, if you had not ; and I'm ;sire you are too good-
natured to be angry wi' me fur det." Honest John
Bull and his family did not disappoint la4n, for each suc-
cessive
company went away in good-hunNur, leaving •
others to enjoy. the wonder at the same expense, and
keep the secret in turn for their own sakes.
SEASONABLE BENEVOLENCE.—On Monday morn-
ing the sum of 251., bequeathed by the late Earl of Liver-
pool, to be given annually to five poor deserving families
of the town of Kingston-on-Thames, was distributed to
persons who were considered by the committee to be
entitled to it, by Mr. How, the Mayor of Kingston. The
names of the parties were—Francis Howell, Matthew
Waters, Mary Wellbeloved, Thomas Haines, and William
Millis ; and the Mayor, after making some appropriate
remarks, handed to each the sum of 5/, at the same time
expressing a hope that it would be the means of making
them and their families happy at this festive season. On
the same day the sum of 221., the result of a subscription
among the tradesmen of Kingston, was distributed to
fourteen poor deserving persons belonging to the town.
The first mentioned gift of 251., in accordance with the .
will of the late Noble Earl, has now been given for up-
wards of twenty years.
FACTS RESPECTING MR. POLK.—During a journey
in the Western and Southern States, last summer, we tra-
velled several days with a very candid and intelligent
gentleman from Columbia, Tennessee, the residence of
the Hon. J. K. Polk, President elect of the United
States. He informed us, that in the walks of private
life Mr. Polk is highly respected ; that he is a slave-
holder indeed, but not, as has been often stated in the
papers, one of the richest and most extensive slave-
owners in the State ; that he may be worth 25,000
cents, a part only of which property is invested in slaves.
Mr. Polk has no children. His accomplished lady is a
consistent member of the Presbyterian Church. The ,
gentleman also stated, that though different opinions are
honestly entertained as to his fitness for the Presidency
on account of his political creed, yet so far as his piivate
life is concerned, he will do honoar to the exalted sta-
tion to which he has since been called.—Nee England
Puritan.
VANGUARD STEAMER.—We are happy to be able
to announce that there is a fair prospect of getting the
above steamer out of her perilous situation. 'Through
the skilful and persevering exertions of Captain White,
a; agents, steam was got up on
J.P., and of the Company
yesterday to aid in having the water pumped out of her
hold. These efforts succeeded to a certain extent in
removing a quantity of water that had accumulated pre-
vious to the getting one of the leaks permanently stop-
ped, and it is now confidently anticipated that the other
means about to he resorted to will have the effect of to-
tally removing this beautiful vessel from where she is
now embedded. Mr. Asle (Secretary to the Dublin Un-
derwriting Club) is at present in Cork. He has applied
to Mr. Pike for the use of the Victory steamer to assist
in floating the Vanguard ; Mr. Pike, with his usual
courtesy, at once granted his steamer, and offered any
other assistance in his power that might be required-
The Victory is provided with wedges, blocks, pullies, and
beams, and we hope that our next announcement will he
that the Vanguard steamer is herself again.
A Goon HINT.—At the South Lancashire Winter
Assizes on the 17th inst., before Mr. Baron Gurney, three•
rape cases were tried. In two the, offenders were con-
victed and sentenced to transportation for life. In the
third his Lordship .:stopped the case, as there was not
sufficient evidence of resistance. His Lordihip observed
that, with respect to the resistance in such cases, he
wished it, could be made more generally known, that in,
all cases of that nature the parties attacked were justified
in adopting every means at their disposal ; they might
employ the weapons which nature had given them, and
claw, bite, or even put the man's eyes out, for the pur-
pose of protecting themselves from his violence. The
great difficulty was, owing to the nature of such in*.
rics, in making such a matter public. But the elder
women might teach the younger, that in case of such
attacks the best course to adopt was to fly at the face of
the party, and use their nails with the utmost degree of
violence. If such a course were adopted, he felt assured
that cues such as they had been inquiring into would
lecoiro leis frecotnt,