The Sun.
London, England, 1859-11-10 00:00:00

THE GLOCESTER WITNESSES.

The "Eye-witness" saw some wonderful and me-
morable things in connexion with the witness-box in
the Shire-hall at Glocester, to some of which he now
invites the reader's attention. There was the car-
penter and " jyner," as he called himself, who
moistened his palms as he ascended the rostrum,
as if he were going to plane his way through his
evidence. There was the lady with gloves and a
veil, who was in business, and had no evidence to I
give on the particular matter in hand, but was
quite ready to launch into many interesting state-
ments on things in general, and especially with re- i
gard to her own affairs; and indeed in this, and in
protestations of future amendment and never doing
anything wrong again, all the witnesses were pro-
fuse. Then there was the disconsolate witness, who
sighed as if his heart would break between each
answer; the conceited witness, who, seeing that his
words were being taken down by the short-hand
writer, waxed eloquent, and stopped long before
his sentences, glancing down at the writer afore-
said to see that one paragraph was finished before
he began another. In addition fo these, there
was the witness who brought documents,
and in the course of his narrative continually
put his hand in his pocket for appropriate and cor-
roborative papers, but never found them till his tale
had got long past the place where they would be of
any use. Nor must we omit the witness who would
look at anybody in court whom he happened to men-
tion in his evidence ; and besides the witness whom
his friends in remote corners of the building would
prompt there was the man who had forgotten his
part, and who deliberately appealed to his friends
for assistance, saying, "In the year—l say, George,
what year was it when Lightpocket lost the election
for Mayor?" It was a remarkable thing, and one
which, perhaps proves that every man ought to have a
profession, that no man who, after being sworn, was
asked what he was, and answered that he was -a
" gentleman," failed to look like an ass when he
said so. And this is indeed a wretched way of de-
scribing a man who has nothing to do, implying
that he who has a profession is not a gentleman,
and infinitely inferior, in every way, to the
Italian designation, possedente, or the French
rentier. Tt is noteworthy, too, that a man sitting
in court, and occupying a position between
the examiner and the witness who is under
examination, will not uncommonly look dread-
fully confused and infinitely wretched when he
hears his own name brought in in the evidence
and his own affairs discussed over the very
top of his head. The " Eye-witness" hopes
it will not be misconstrued into want of respbct for
the fair sex if he says, in addition to the things
already mentioned, he was also struck by the extreme
reluctance of those wives of voters who had received
a bribe for their husbands to hand the same over to
their worser halves on their return from business.
The man whose wife had declined to part with the
money she received, and who stoutly maintained
in consequence that he had not been bribed at all,
was a sharp fellow enough, and a close and
astute reasoner. There arc some more wit-
nesses yet, who must not be dismissed without
a word. There was the man who did not know
whom he had voted for, and who, in the wildness
of his confusion, when he complained of the bad-
ness of his memory, put his hand to his stomach, as
if that were the seat of the quality in ques-
tion. There was the man who asked to be exa-
mined to relieve his mind, and who had had
nothing to do with the election at all ; there was
the man who began an anecdote, and, repenting of
it, gave it up as not connected with the subject
(an opinion in which the Commissioners entirely
coincided) ; there was the man who ascended
the box like a clergyman coming into the pulpit,
pressing his papers down heavily, arranging his
handkerchief as if for a long speech, and being cut
short almost before he had begun ; lastly, there
was the poor old attorney, all in black, with black
gloves, and a high black mohair stock, whose ap-
pearance, as he held on to the sides of the witness-
box, moved to an excess the pity of your " e-
witness," so that it was quite a relief to him when
he heard that he had done no harm after all.—
Lickens's All the Year Pound.

THE TIMBER FLEET.—The first Clyde vessels of
the Fall Fleet have arrived at Greenock, and during the last
few days the Lord Sidmouth, Canada, and John Bunyan,
have come into the river. All have experienced frightful
weather, and the master of the latter, which encountered
several cyclones, reports that he never met witn such awful
storms on the Atlantic. Up to the present date a couple of
the outward bound Quebec fleet have put back to Britain,
and the timber shipments will be proportionately diminished.
By last accounts, shipping to the amount of 50,000 tons was
expected in the St. Lawrence from this country.--Greenock
Advertiser.