The Sun.
London, England, 1857-05-08 00:00:00

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE _PICTURE.

The following letter has been addressed to the editor 0:
the Times :

Sir,—ln your able leading article on the painful subject
brought before the notice of the public by " I. R. 8.,"
you tell some wholesome truths on the side of the question
relating to women. There is a side no less important re-
lating to men, on which I shall be thankful if you will
allow me the opportunity of saying a few words.
The laws which society imposes in the present day in
respect of marriage upon young men belonging to the
middle class are in the highest degree unnatural, and are
the real cause of most of our social corruptions. The
father of a family has iu many instances risen from a
comparatively humble origin to a position of easy compe-
tence. His wife has her carriage; be associates with men
of wealth greater than his own. His sons reach the age
when, in the natural courso of things, they ought to marry
and establish a home for themselves. It would seem no
great hardship that a young couple should begin on the
same level as their parents began, and be content for the
first few years witu the mere necessaries of life ; and
there are thousands who, were it rot for society, would
gladly marry on such terms. But here the tyrant w6rld
interposes ; tho ton must not marry until he can maintain
an establishment on much the same footing as his father's.
If he dare set the law at defiance his family lose caste,
and he and his wife are quietly dropt out of the circle in
which they have hitherto moved. All that society will
allow is an engagement, and then we have the sad but
familiar sight of two young lovers wearing out their best
years with hearts sickened with hope long deferred ; often,
after all, ending in disappointment, or in the shattered
health of the poor girl, unable to bear up against the
harassing anxiety-3 Or even when a long engagement dots
finally end in marriage, how diminished are the chances of
happiness! The union, which, if allowtd at first, would
have proved• happy under worhtly difficulty, has lost its
brightness when postponed until middle life, even with
competence and a carriage. Perhaps the early struggles
would have only strengthened the bonds of affection ; but
here I feel that I am on dangerous ground. Already I
hear society londly exclaiming that I am advocating im-
provident marriages, that I would flood the coun'ry with
genteel ptateers, that I am advising what is contrary to the
best. interests of society.

But s'op awhile, society. Your picture of marriages at
35, with a Belgraviau house for the happy couple, a foot-
man in splendid uniform, and at least a brougham' is very
pleasing; but there is a reverse to the canvass, and that a
very dark ones How has the bridegroom been living since
he attained his manhood ? I believe that there are very
many young men who are keeping themselves pure amid
all the temptations of Loudon life. God's blessing be with
them, for they are the salt of our corrupt city. But I
know that there are thousaods who are living in sin, chiefly
in consequence of the impossibility (as the world says) of
their marrying. Some go quietly with the stream, and do
as others do around them, almost without a thought of the
misery they are causing and the curse they aro laying up
for themselves. But many, perhaps most of them, are
wretched under the conviction of their conscience. Living in
the midst of temptation, they have not sufficient principle to
resist its fascination, and although they know where God
intends that they shall find their safety, yet they dale not
offend their family, alienate their friends, and lose their
social position by making what the world calls an impru-
dent marriage. The very feeling which Heaven has given
as a chief purifier of man's nature is darkening their con-
science and hardening their heart, because the law of
society contradicts the law of God. I might touch upon
even a more terrible result of the present state of things—
medical men and clergymen will understand what I mean,
—hut I dare not, and I have said enough.
I must in sadness confess ttat in the face of the power-
ful tyranny of social law in this country it, is difficult to
suggest any general remedy for this evil. But the mis-
chief is on the increase with our increasing worship of
money,. and public attention ought to be appealed to
on the subject. if our American eulogist be right in
commending " pluck" as one of oar distinctive charac-
teristics, it is not our young men who should lack the
qnulity. If they will shake off the affectations of club
life, and claim a position in society for themselves and
for their wives, because they are qualified for is by edu-
cation and character, and not merely because they re-
present so much money, they will soon force the world
to give way, and strike down one of the greatest
hindrances to their own happiness, both temporal and
eternal. It will not in general be difficult to bring tho
daughters over to tho same opinion. Mothers and sisters
are eeldom very hardhearted in such cases, and by united
efforts the stein father may be induced to give his blessing,
even though the happy couple (aye, happy, let tho world
sneer as it will) have to begin ou little more than the pro-
verbial bread and cheese.
The recognitioe of this principle would do much to check
some of our most deadly social evils. It would make many
a girl whom the tyranny of the world now dooms to a joy-
lesseerao our e
affections,
celibacy a happy wife and mother. It would raise the
thoenael thof x
of character
ci
o t
h ofe hm youe
cbtgi ounise, whichn,
de-
nied them, at the very time of life when their influence is
most beneficial. It would drive away all frivolity and
effeminacy before the realities of steady work, Which early
marriage would cblige them to face. It would purify our
streets, and check many a bitter pang of conscience,
and
save many a soul. We are experiencing-the hitter fruits
of man's law—let us see whether God's law will not work
better.

I remain, sir, your obedient servant,
London, May 6. THEOPHRASTUS.

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