The Sun.
London, England, 1857-05-11 00:00:00

A TALE ABOUT TAILS.

(Prom the lineman.)
Reformers differ in opinion as to the tone our
merry Premier will assume this session. We are,
indeed, all likely to know soon, but for that very
reason the curiosity becomes almost insuppressible ;
it is'near upon starting time, and, How will Palmer-
ston lead off ? for the life of us we cannot help ask-
ing'. Tantalising hours are those which precede the
minutes that couvert guessing, doubting, prophey-
eying, into certainty.
Amongstl other fears of Reformers isthe great one,
that, over-sure of a large majority which must sup-
port him this session, he will gaily tell the sesssion
of 1858 to take care of itself ; will jauntily move
the previous question on every Reform topic ; will
have a host of plausible pretences for touching no-
thing organic till the session when all political
reforms can be taken as a whole ; will try to make
the house merry over the premature zeal of Re-
formers who prefer to-day to to morrow ; in a
word, with all the good humour and adroitness he
can muster, be will yet let his whole phalanx see
that he is the leader of the house, the first man
among them, and that wliithersoever he moves his
tail must follow him.
Now we have a little tale anent the Premier's
tail, Era we tell it, however, we protest against
any disparaging inference from the animal which
figures in it. We protest, moreover, against being
required to make every illustration run on all fours.
How many a dog have we sean with its fourth leg
under its arm, getting along at a rate which would
leave us far behind ! Thus much premised, we beg
to recal to the minds of many readers, and to tell to
others, the story of an a4s—a very " magnificent"
magnificent)—as given by M.
Hasso,c(inforhaisssebsoocaknonbe

This noble animal, which belonged to their guide;
beat hollow the mules of the train, and was ever
ahead of all ; but in his premier position, he was
naturally conscious of his premier qualities, and he
showed them in a way which allowed no sleep or
slumber to the tired traveller • in fact, full of the
genial fire of superiority and leadership, he brayed
all night long to all the other asses within sound of
his voice. These responded as good asses are wont
to do, and poor M. Hue could not shut his eyes all
night because he had no means of shutting his ears.
Pleased as M. Hue was with the travelling excellen-
cies of his guide's animal, he could but complain to
him in the morning of the creature's assurance in
trumpeting so confidently his own praises to all the
neighbourhood around. The guide smiled, and
promised soon to cure him. M. Hue supposed the
promise was but a joke, knowing of no means for
stopping an ass's tongue. Next night, however, he
slept soundly, and thought, no more of the ass. In
the morning, the guide politely inquired how the
traveller had reposed—whether he heard the noise
of the ass last night : at the same time telling
him that he had _taken care to " stop his sing-
ing." M. Hue still thought he was joking. He
told the traveller, however, his method. " When
an ass," said he "is going to bray, he always be-
gins by raising his tail, and he keeps it extended
horizontally as long as his song lasts ; to insure his
silence, therefore, you have only to tie a large
stone to the end of his tail, so that he cannot raise
it." Half incredulous, M. Huc went into the yard
with the guide, and sure enough there was the ass
with the stone tied to its tail. The traveller adds
that, it being day time, and pitying the animal, he
requested that the stone might be taken off; when
forthwith the animal recommenced his music
Even the author of " The Organon " would have
held the experiment to be complete.
Now, what we propose is, to weight well the
Premier's tail ! All reformers who fear, and rea-
sonably enough, that Lord Palmerston may sing
too loud and clear, and altogether too assuredly
for their comfort, cannot do better than to put the
weight on his tail. While he enjoys the free use
of that organ, he will naturally display his confi-
dence ; but every such display will be preceded by
an effort, through the well known nerves of the
Treasury, to ascertain that all is right with his
tail. Restriction there is sure to tell. Premiers
who cannot get their parliamentary tail straight,
and keep it straight too, become as quiet as M.
Hue's ass. We began by apologising for a story
that did not go all-fours ; but we are not so sure
the apology was necessary. At least it finishes
right ;' for the moment our leader of the house had
got out of the darkness of stand-still and Conserva-
tive policy, the moment he and we had all got into
broad Liberal daylight together, we should off with
the weight at once, and let him "sing his song"
la his heart's content. _ _

Last week we suggested such organisation in
every Liberal constituency as would render useless
all adroit attempts of the Premier to use his fol-
lowers in the house for improper purposes. We
perceive our excellent contemporary, the Norfolk
.News, goes even further. It recommends a na-
tional committee, formed by a delegation of one
member from each borough, to inform the Premier
and his supporters of the minimum Reform which
they are, determined to have. The suggestion is ex-
cellent. Why can it 'not be acted on ? A few in