The Sun.
London, England, 1866-07-09 00:00:00

More " Certainties."

The facetious correspondent of the Racing Times
writes on the above subject as follows :
There was such an undoubted tone of truthful-
ness about one chief " certainty" last week as to
induce several country cousins to seek further par-
ticulars, but we can only refer them to the chan-
nels where the details were given in extenso. We
say were, because the advertisements have been
withdrawn from some of the larger sporting news-
papers since our recommendation to at once inves-
tigate the means and follow up the process was
announced. So good a thing was the realisation of
a picture as to the £106,800, that no sooner had
my esteemed relative, Mr. Paul Greenhorn, of
Coosh Villa, near Fleet Pond, Hants, obtained last
week's number of the Racing Times, than hastily
putting a few things into his carpet bag, he took a
ticket for Southampton, resolved to pay a flying
visit to Guernsey, by far the prettiest and most
romantic of the Channel islands. After some re-
search he contrived to spot the " General Mer-
chant," and made an inspection of the vast stores
of corn, oil, and wine heaped together in profusion
for transmission to all parts of the world. Sugar,
crushed and loaf, dispensed its sweetness ; Dutch
cheese was also there, but as no civilised being was
ever known to consume that article it was not in
much force. The information obtained as to the
large " certainty" turned out to be gathered from
a long-winded thin sheet of trash relating to an
illegal foreign lottery, the aiders of which would
have run considerable risk had it been published in
England. Paul has since returned with the £l9
in his pocket, and so the gigantic fortune remains
in abeyance until better times, when Europe
becomes reparcelled and war shall be a thing
of history. At present the insolvent territory
whose scheming minions set the General
Merchant in motion can hardly hope to gull
even the most transparent greenhorn who ever
backed a horse. Certainties, however, are still to
be had, and at a very reduced figure, so much so
that the verdant public ought to boil over with
gratitude for the disinterested way in which the
much-calumniated tribe of tipsters continue to
labour for their interests. As one name is with-
drawn from print only, perhaps, to be revived by
another in the same person, one cannot fail to be
amused at the muscular resolve to get money some-
how. Only fancy the economy of this : " What
will win the Leger ? Try Fairplay's long shots.
Winner now at long odds. Enclose a directed en-
velope. No pay till won!" This is only a penny,
and I am sure nobody but the greatest and most
selfish miser in existence could grumble at the
reasonableness of the investment.
There is another extensive advertiser slightly in
advance as far as immediate outlay is concerned
—slightly, I say, although the figure amounts to
100 per cent. The announcement is headed,
" Strange, but true ! A bad horse wins the Good-
wood Stakes ; odds, 20 to 1. My knowledge
against your fancy ; 10 to 1 on one. All is square.
Enclose envelope, also two stamps." Even this
'small outlay is enough for a " bad horse," which the
tipster is alone prepared to send. The next man
says he is "late of Manchester," but does not give
any reason why he left that industrious sporting
locality. "The certain winner of the stakes
will, however, be sent to any gentleman on a
mere promise of a liberal present after the
race ;" and, he continues, t, the horse he is now
advising will win with pounds in hand."
If there be any reliance to be placed on this the
horse can't be a bad one, and therefore by all known
logic not the animal referred to by the other adver-
tiser. The fee for this good thing, whatever it may
be, is slightly in advance, for he modestly goes on,
" send directed envelope, enclosing four stamps to,
&c." The address may be found, if needed. One
of the two last-named gentlemen is clearly wrong,
or if the " bad horse" is good enough to win, where
will the other be that catches the judge's eye first,
with " pounds in hand ?" We have now three fair
specimens of cheap prophets at a penny, twopence,
and fourpence. There is yet another in the same
locality as the first, on identically the same terms ;
it is " Stamford's Leger certainty. I am confident
I know the certain winner of the Leger, at long
odds. Good things now ready for Goodwood.

Enclose directed envelope. Certain winner of Good-
wood Stakes at 25 to 1."

We must now advance by a sliding scale on the
ascent. Vulgar bronze will not be taken by others
who scorn to deal in half pence ; silver, or stamps
equivalent to it, are required. The first genius calls
himself " The Great Leviathan Turf-adviser," as if
anything of a leviathan character could possibly be
otherwise than great. In money affairs the name is
pluralised, for a " Co." follows it. The fee is twelve
stamps, and the advertiser engages to forfeit £5 if
his firm do not send the winners of the Stakes
and Cup, and to some extent lets the cat
out of the bag by telling the public that
Kenyon will ride the former. Industrious friends
may therefore trace the key and solve the mystery.
The fee in this case is only a shilling, and the party
may be heard of in Glasshouse-street, rather an
awkward locality for stone throwing. There are a
great number of circulars advertised by different
gentlemen all at the " time honoured shilling," as
the old opera box-keepers call it—they have mostly
double events for the next great races—" Guaran-
tee " £BOO down to £lOO to any who will transmit
any of them a stray sovereign, so that it is difficult
to make up one's mind that sporting spoonies are
at all on the decline, or that there is any real
tightness in the money market. One more word
as to a third advertisement from that anti-sporting
place Ipswich and I have done for the present—it
winds up " REMEMBER SUSPICION ! SUSPICION ! !
SusricioN !!" alluding of course to last year. I
confess, however, to being somewhat taken by his
advice, and entertain an immense amount of sus-
picion about the whole fraternity.
So much for racing " certainties"—just a word
for the agreeable voluntary matters of a similar
class elsewhere. I mean those as discoursed and
retailed on the "Turf " at the Crystal Palace on a
Saturday, where no fewer than 22,708 persons
assembled to be willingly wheedled out of so much
spare coin as possible. A bevy of ballet ladies were
railed off dressed as jockeys, laying all sorts of odds
in all kinds of courts, as well as offering straight
tips." It was impossible for any gentleman of
almost any age to escape their pleasantries, but
few ventured within the charmed enclosure
—how many of the " howling swell " species
were victimised of all but their return tickets
it is impossible to say. The ladies never worked
with such determined zest in the cause of charity
before. I was informed by good authority at my
club late in the evening that a very aspiring young
gentleman from the Stock Exchange presented a
fair stall-keeper with a clean, crisp billet of the Old
Lady in Threadneedle-street, value £5, for the pri-
vilege of partaking of the remaining half of a straw-
berry which the charming Queen of Comedy had
bitten ! A similar act of liberality was performed
on a smaller scale by a thick-headed-looking youth
from the Temple as to a cherry, so giving the go-
by to the old saying about two bites of that cool,
refreshing fruit.

Toole, and the great but ever green Paul, were
immense in the Chinese way as proprietors of the
" Golden Pay-goda ;" a better name could not
have been devised, and the liberal contributors were
all well satisfied with the piece of plate (willow
pattern) presented to them. To give or to attempt
within the limits of this article even a faint idea of
the gorgeous " certainties" met with in the great
establishment would be impossible. From
Richardson's Show as of old, with its noise and
comical ghost, to the sensational wax-work of
" Madame Two Swords," conducted by Messrs.
Addison and Robins, all was excellence, and the
out-of-door attractions were so numerous, and of
so funny and varied a character, that it became
entirely impossible for any one to regret his visit
while the hours passed so quickly away in the most
delightful of all charming company. How many
Benedicts were lectured by their spouses at night
on supposed imprudent glances at ladies in the
" betting ring" it is out of the question for me even
to conjecture. Many of the younger male visitors
in the transition dreamy state of courtship were
looked upon reproachfully by their fair companions
for saying or thinking too much of the importunate
solicitors in the cause of charity ; but no harm could
scarce even be imagined by ttie most fastidious
observer.

THE AN-4TOMY AND DRAPERY OF THE HIT3fAN
FIGURE.

While we aro somewhat disposed to question the old
saying " it takes nine tailors to make a man," we question
if nine mon will make a tailor in the full meaning of the
word. We find nowadays science applied to almost every
trade. No one will dispute its applicability to the learned
professions; and few, we apprehend, will ignore its utility
when applied to industrial pursuits. We live in an age of
artificialities, and, perhaps, none more so than in the adorn-
ment of tho outer man. When science is here applied with
taste and the precision of mathematical certainty, it increases
very much the gracefulness of the human figure. If it is
a fact that man is made but a little lower than
the angels, how important, then, that the cover-
ing of the form divine should be well adapted
to the peculiarities of the human figure. There is a class
of charlatans who draw money from the simple by saying,
Show us your handwriting and we will tell your charac-
ter. There is, perhaps, a little truth at the foundation
of this saying, but much more in the following:
Show us the cut of your coat or riding-habit, and we
will at once tell you the character of the society you
keep or move among. Do they tang as if made for
another person ? Is ono shoulder pinched at the
expense of the other ? Is the style that of a navvy or
his sweetheart ? Or do they fit and hang gracefully, as
becomes a lady or a gentleman ? Are there some little
outre peculiarities in the figure which should have been
hid or aided, but which are exaggerated by the cut of the
garment ?" There lives not the man who has not some
such physical peculiarities, and they should always be re-
lieved by the aid of art. But how is that to be obtained ?
certainly not by going to establishments where the gar-
ments are cut and put together as by so many human
machines, and as by chance. In such places the order
of the day appears to be, hit or miss. Go to establish-
ments where the heads and chief assistants have, so to
speak, gone through their curriculum—to such as delight in
being perfect masters of their trade. That there aro many
who have, such a laudable delight we make no doubt—men
who train their minds to bring all the appliances of science
to bear on their avocations. We are led to make these
remarks from seeing the vast quantities of wretchedly
made habiliments which appear in our streets; aye, and in
our leading and fashionable streets, and at our evening
parties. What more out of place than a misshapen coat
or an ugly fittting vest and worse continuations ? We see
on an otherwise elegant and handsome lady a
miserable apology for garments, and those accom-
panied by the chaste gold chain and sacred locket,
with the sparkling ruby or diamond on the spotless
white hand, making ludicrous in the extreme that which
ought to be the perfection of beauty. There is, perhaps, no
city in the world where there is more bad taste in dross
than in London, and no other place where an elegant taste
can be bettor gratified, if only a little extra trouble and
expense be incurred to find out the proper establishments.
When we find that the learned Dr. Wharapeu has fliwobed
a large quarto volume to the anatomy and drapery of the
human figure, and that those who have been his pupils
have been so at a cost of from fifty to ono hundred
and fifty guineas each, we find in these circumstances
a guarantee ; for those who have not ability and taste
as well as money, that they would not incur such an ex-
pense to make themselves perfect masters in so ordinary
a trade. And, if we discover that these men who have so
studied are patronised by crowned heads, by princes and
princesses, by the nobility and gentry, and by the mer-
chant princes of this and other great cities, who know
their value, we say we have the greater guarantee that we
shall have art properly applied in our outer wants.
We have for some time watched the manipulations of
Messrs. Creed and Co., who conduct them on the unerring
scientific principles which we have indicated. We have
also had our outer man somewhat improved by, the head of
that well-known firm, who is a most intelligent, honest,
and enthusiastic disciple of Dr. Whampen—and when
we inform our travelling and resident friends that
the provinces are regularly supplied by them ; that their
style and fits aro to be seen daily in all parts, wo think
we have said enough. If wo want our sons to have a supe-
rior education, we soud them not to the hedge or village
schools, but to our universities. If we aro in trouble over
our broad acres, wo go not to the sharp practice petti-
fogger, but to the man at once highly educated in his pro-
fession, and high-toned in his sense of honour and honesty.
If we are sick, wo go not to the ignorant and presumptuous
quack, but to the man who has devoted his life to the study
of the thousand ills to which flesh is heir. If we want
good, becoming, and elegantly-fitting garments, we go on
the same principle to Messrs. Creed and Co., Conduit-
street, Bond-street, where we are waited on and suited by
gentlemen who thoroughly understand their business.—
Anglo-American Times.

Letters from Rome of the Ist state that the leave
of absence of General de Montebello will bo for threo
months. Cardinal Patrizzi, assisted by tho Bishop of
Poitiers and Moulins, consecrated on that day Mgr. de
Morode as Archbishop in partibus of Mitylone. On the
occasion of the fete of St. Peter, the Pope again protested
againet the annexation of the Pontifical provinces.