The Sun.
London, England, 1866-07-23 00:00:00

"Padd e Your Own Canoe."

The facetious correspondent of the Racing Times
writes on the above subject as follows :
"If you don't paddle your own canoela water-
man must be kept, skilful and steady, so as to steer
you safely over the quick or slow sands of life."
" You're right, sir," whispered a hanger-on in the
" yard," who had listened to these observations,
which had been addressed to an acquaintance too
lazy to work, who existed by giving pretended in-
formation from training quarters, and borrowing
money where he could get it. " You're right, sir,
you are. I'm a broken-down gentleman, and have
been trying to paddle my bark ; for, after all, it's
nothing more, the inside of the tree having been
scooped out years ago." I ventured to sug-
gest a method to replenish his exchequer, as it
transpired that he had a very good thing for one of
the ensuing great events. He liked cheap advice,
said I was kind,!, and he was great fool—a phrase
net quite new ; and, moreover, affirmed that he was
the only working bee left in the family, all its other
members having ceased rowing and turned cox-
swains, whereby they were enabled to sit at ease,
while those less fortunate did the pulling. The
yard was full on this occasion, and a great row
ensued, through some mistake about a Commissioner
having been reported present at a meeting on the
preceding day, when it was well known to the school
that he was absent, whereby the more knowing of
small backers had lost their cash, which they had
" popped down" to an unusual extent. The point
was stoutly argued by some very greasy members
of the marrowbone and cleaver order, who had
mortgaged several animals known as " small
'things," and invested the proceeds, never deem-
ing that Right could be wrong, or that the gene-
rally correct electric current made mistakes when
properly handled. Strong adjectives and potent
expletives were in force, which would not bear
the light of sunshine in print, so I must omit
them with reluctance, for it is almost impossible
to conceive that the English language could be
put in such strange trim. lAt least the popular
world generally would hesitate to believe it.
With some natural anxiety to get clear of the,New-
gate-market worthies who were so forcibly lamenting
the loss of their small things, many of which had
then probably been killed and eaten, I retreated
to the hostelry, where betting was strictly pro-
hibited and writing materials unknown ; and here I
purchased for a shilling the information that Luci-
fer must either win the Goodwood Stakes or get a
situation, with which coin my informant started off
for some slum near Saffron-hill, where an accom-
modating book-maker laid market odds to trifles,
and forthwith invested on the good thing. He re-
turned soon afterwards with a small card, as evi-
dence of his skill. I make this advice known to all
whom it may in anywise concern, without pledging
myself either that the horse will win, get a place, or
even start.

The yard closely resembles a hive of bees, crowd-
ing in and out of the small aperture separating it
from the court. A nxious .clerks and desk-lads,
with pen on ear, hurriedly leave their half-crowns
and depart ; others with more leisure prowl round
with pipe or cigar, watching the actions of sup-
posed experts in the line, holding commissions to
back a particular certainty, and finding what Jack
So and So is doing, and how by a single whisper he
has elevated a horse from 15 to 8 to 1 on the list, it
is scarce the work of a moment to.find half-a-dozen
off in cabs to other betting localities, to forestall the
commissioner ; so that when this worthy arrives at
Gracechurch-street, or over the water, or near the
stables, or in the park, he provokingly finds the
animal at a short price. All these men are paddling
their canoes with more or less success, but contrive
somehow to get the leg of mutton upon the table.
One fellow was engaged among the younger
frequenters of the place, in selling " all the
great and celebrated tips, only a tanner."
His general appearance was that of beery
grief attempting to be comic. I understood
that in former days he had been in the prophetic
line of business when that craft was in its infancy,
but had become reduced; somebody had given him
the " office" that I was in the coffee-room, and
likely to purchase, so he attacked me with the six-
penny slip without succeeding in the effort.
n a The
tur p e
io otobree smt
ept
roos
ps ioblli e s
is
said
occupationto be of a
that
ofm aerrceatnaitlielre
of water cress, or vendor of chickweed and ground-
sel for birds, and professors of both these callings
found their way into the yard, where also might be
seen a member of the animated sandwich fraternity,
who puts his body between a couple of boards at a
shilling a day, informing observers where Paris hats
could be purchased at es. 6d. each. Removing the
outer crusts, and placing the boards aside, I recog-
nised the remains of what constituted but a few
y ofe a
trbs
eb aficrks at
lists,ell kena wonllwetbhaecnk etr ofhe
shpoorrste in
os
g nthe dy
Maberly,as
in allusion to the great Post-office official of that
name, in which establishment the party held the
responsible occupation of letter-carrier. He had
done a long journey since then, and told me how