The Sun.
London, England, 1835-04-17 00:00:00

LAMBETH-STREET.

Yesterday as the Magistrates were about to retire from
the Bench, after having disposed of all the public business,
an old gentleman, whose powdered head, and neatness and
precision of dress, betokened a good deal of worldly comfort,
presented himself in the outer office, and expressed much
anxiety to see their Worships to consult them on business,
as 'he said, of the utmost importance. The officer in at-
tendance took him into the Justice-room, and, after making
a formal bow to the Bench, he said he wished to have their
Worships' advice on a subject of " detraction." " You
must know, your Worships, that I have latterly met with
a lady, a widow lady, of some considerable property, to
whom I have been paying particular attentions, and with
whom I wish to form a closer connection."
MAGISTRATE—I perceive you wish to make her your
wife ? _ _ _

Applicant—Precisely so. I have had two wives, and I
purpose making the lady I allude to my third. My name,
gentlemen, is Young ; I am a sugar-broker, and am well
known to the trade for the last thirty years.
MAGISTRATE—WeII, about the " detraction." What is
it you complain of ? Applicant—Then, Sir, you must know
that there is an old woman, who has told the lady to whom
I am paying my addresses, that I am not constant, and
have two illegitimate children. So the next time I called,
the lady, who before this was, I can assure your Worships,
most kind and attentive to me, taunted me about the woman
and children, and showed much coolness, and all I could
say would not dissuade her that such was not the fact : so
I want to know if I cannot bring this woman to book for
using such gross " detraction ?" I would have no objec-
tion to expend one hundred guineas in punishing her, for I
can assure your Worships it is not every day that such a
chance as that I speak of is to be met with ; and, besides,
I candidly confess that I am exceedingly attached to the
lady ; and, to do her justice, she returned my affection
until the improper interference of the old mischief-maker I
wish to punish.
MAGISTRATE--I fear we can afford you no assistance.
Pray, how old is the lady whom you state to be the object
of your attachment ? Applicant—Only forty-five years of
age, Sir.
MAGISTRATE—And how old may I ask are you ? Ap-
plicant—Only sixty-nine years of age, Sir; and I can
walk twenty or thirty miles to-morrow with any young man
you can find me.
MAGISTRATE—It is really a pity that any interruption
to your anticipated happiness should take place, but I fear
we can do nothing whatever for you.
Another MAGISTRATE—With many females that which
forms the ground of complaint against you, namely that of
having illegitimate children, would be a recommendation, and
I have no doubt if you persevere in your suite you will find
this to be the case with the lady in question, and that in a
short time you will accomplish your object.
The applicant, whose manner excited much laughter, ap-
peared much flattered at the favourable opinion entertained
by' he bench of his pretentions, said be would act on the
suggestion of the worthy Magistrate, and said be was far
from desponding of success. The applicant then handed
his snuff-box to the Magistrates, and, having expressed
himself grateful to the bench for the patience with which
he had been heard, made a very low bow, and left the Jus-
tice-room.

SHERIFF'S COURT.