The Sun.
London, England, 1835-05-25 00:00:00

THE BORE.

IMITATED FROM HORACE.*
(O'C-LL loquitur.)
As I strolled down Bond-street t'other day,
Who, on the opposite side of the way,
Should my eyes unluckily happen to blink on,
But Colonel Bore, M. P. for Lincoln ;
I strove to cut him dead, and made
A rush for the Burlington Arcade,
But ere I could reach it, up he came,
And without one particle of shame,
( For I only knew the man by name)
Drawled out, " you're going East, I see,"—
" No, West "—" well, it's all the same to me,
A walk's delightful this sunny weather,
So, lend me your arm, we'll go together."

With this he drew his arm throl.mine,
And twirling his whiskers with leer malign—
Those matchless whiskers so formed to please,
Nyhich, whatsoeer lady-sees,
No, matter how_ high or loW_her station,
Dies of excessive admiration—
Began to talk of the fall in Rents,
The coming Budget, the Three per Cents.,
The Tythe Bill, Corporation plot,
Church Commission, and what not,
Till bored to death by his prosy chat,
And not knowing what the deuce to be at,
(For both coach andcab had taken Bight
From their' usual Stand, as if from spite)
I broke away, looking wond'rous silly, •
And flew, like a Sylph, down, Piccadilly;
Crossing, despite the heat of May,
To the hottest and sunniest side of the way;
But in vain; for the quicker I dodged and flew,
The quicker the Colonel followed too,
And where I took.one step, he took two.,
Thus sore beset, I made stop,
And, rushing into Ridgway's shop,
Exclaimed, in tones of fierce despair,
That made the astonished shop-boy-stare,
" Quick, bring me a book—a pamphlet—bring
TomkitT-7.Tenkins=or any thing ; •
Quick L-here lie Cordes,''. and I"paused and wept,
For while I was speaking, in he stepped,
And dragging me out by the button-hole,
Began again such a rigmarole,
That my ears, like Hamlet's sire's, of yore,
Seemed steeped to death in hellebore ;
And I thought with a sigh of Derrinane,
And the friends I never should see again,
And that blest isle, great, glorious, and free,
First flower of earth, first gem of the sea;
When sudden roused by the Colonel's glee,
As he muttered the name of Alvanley,
I resolved—so bitter was my cup—
To knock some one down, and get taken up,
For a night in the Station-House, quoth I,
Compared with this, is Liberty !
While thoughts like these, in solemn train,
Kept sweeping o'er and o'er my brain,
I spied a Richmond Omnibus,
And, smit with a sudden love of Rus,
I screamed aloud, half mad with joy,
" Richmond Omnibus, Ahoy 1"
'Twas just in time, the driver stopped,
Down jumped the Cad, and in I popped ;
Shouting the while, like boys at play,
" Thank God, I'm safe at last, Hurray !I"
* Ibam forte Via Sacra, sicut meus est mos,
Nescio quid meditans nugarum, totus in i
Accurrit quidam notus mihi nomine tantum,
Arreptaque manu, &c.—Hor. Sat.

CHURCH RATES.

CASE OF MR JOHN CHILDS.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE SUN.

SIR,—" Let Church Rates be abrogated by the Legislature,
before the people are driven to the dangerous experiment of
proving to their Rulers that there is another mode of relief."
So you advised on Friday last ; and so the Government, if
they are wise enough to let " the shadows of coming events"
warn them, will do. But if the present Ministry fear to break
this link in the chain of oppression, which is peculiarly rusty
and grating in its action upon the Body, they will only change
into conviction a doubt—a fear, whatever it may be termed,
that the Whigs are too far behind the people to be their fit
leaders in the work of rational change ; too far behind in
even moderate progression. No temporary expedient—no
shifting of the saddle, will do : the burthen must be thrown
off—the incubus must no longer weigh down, by its unhealthy
pressure, the vital action of religious freedom. The VOLUNTARY
PRINCIPLE must be conceded—the Dissenters know their power
—they are forbearing in spirit, but they have been suffering
long ; the measure of forbearance is full, and if the Ministry
will not act upon the principles of justice and truth to this mo-
derate extent, the Dissenters will be actors, passive actors,
not petitioners merely ; they will become AGITATORS ; and
they will use their political rights with that activity and zeal
which the conviction that religious liberty is essentially iden-
tified with political liberty, and that the existence of both can
only be secured by the political activity of religious men.
Woe will betide the establishment, if once the oppressions
of its hierarchs bring men into general activity who take the
New Testament as their text-book—who look to the Scrip-
tures for their guide—who take the Bible, not as it is taught,
but as it teaches itself, for authority against Kings and priests.
It is impossible that men who guide themselves by lessons
from the Bible, and who come into active life with its prin-
ciples impressed upon their minds, should not become the
energetic advocates of the most enlightened and enlarged views
of civil and religious liberty.
I proceed, however, to illustrate, by the proceedings at Bun-
gay, the soundness of your advice.
I mentioned, in my last, the seizure of the goods of Mr.
Morris, of Bungay, and the restoration of those goods to him
by a public procession ; and I gave a copy of a hand bill, in
which the buyer, I may truly call him the unfortunate buyer,
made honourable reparation to his neighbours and townsmen
for what he himself termed his " unfortunate error."

v.
I state the following additional facts to shew the depth of
the fading against these impositions, and to warn the Ministry
against the danger of temporising with a feeling so intense;
and the more so as that feeling has begun to manifest itself
in passive, which is but another word for effectual, resistance.
The infatuated men—for it is a species of infatuation when
men do an act which they are afraid to follow out—seized
goods which, when they had seized them, they were afraid or
ashamed to expose to public sale.
THEY WERE NEVER OFFERED FOR PUBLIC SALE. The Clergy
and their tools knew that there would be no buyers ; they
therefore made a clandestine sale of the goods, and the pur-
chaser afterwards issued a declaration in writing, that he had
been "inveigled into the purchase of Mr. Morris's goods,
which had been distrained for church rates," and that the sale
to him was effected "only by a representation that another
person was waiting on his refusal to take them at the price
asked, which was much below their value."
Here, then, was an instance of what, if it were not that a
bad law legalized it, would be fitly characterized as a legal rob-
bery; and, if Mr. Morris bad not been actuated by a better spi-
rit than his persecutors, for which act of private sale before a
public sale had been attempted, he might have recovered corn-
pebsation from a jury for the sacrifice of his property.
Of the twenty-five shillings thus obtained by the church-
wardens of the man whom they made their dupe, the following
account was rendered :
‘. The Churchwardens of Bungay St. Mary, and Mr.
Joseph Morris, in the matter of distraint for church-rate :
Distrained—Four rush-seat chairs, two voiders, and one table,
sold at the appraised value
Deduct expelces.—lnformation
Summons copy and service
Order copy 2s. Service is. 0 3 0
Distress warrant 2s. Levying 3s. 0 5 0
RATE DUE

1 3 0

Balance to Mr. Morris ..........

01. 2s. Od.

The constables- offered Mr Morris the balance of 25., but the
question with him was not one of shillings and pence, but of
religious principle ; and he desired the constable to present
the 2s. to the churchwardens for their trouble.

When the indignant feeling of the town had worked repent-
ance on the mind of the buyer, and that repentance had worked
its natural fruits, a4lesire to restore,the, ill-gotten goods to
their owners and when the buyer had publicly declared that,:
he would take
.them.to,a, public inn in the town, that they
might be restored. to;the man_ from whom they had been taken,.
I ,clp not ssy stolen-though the word comes naturally froin
the pen,at spilt ConneegOn•—the people detrmined upon a
'publicprocessibiritto carry them baCk—but; Mr.' Morris was
not willing to sanctify . again
_that
„',which had been ' thus
giossfy polluted;' and when' they rverb.',tendeied to biin by the
people, he directed thein`to be-sold ih the 'market place, and,
.gave the proceeds to the' poet'; in the distribution of 41 bushels
' of coals: . .
this'daythe'collebtidit'of Churcb;rates, it was feared,
could not go di-ZditifOrtahlyi—they cl3uld haVelgene ott peace-
ably, but itr.,,t proffthblyi-Land peactrwilhotitf pence:will' not do
fOr partons: The la:Wye/is have:4 number of 'stock sayings,
and amongst those sayings there is one upon which they found
a double allowance of puhishment ; they say if there were no
4re-dei*ters there could be tib thieres. Of course,. I Cannot presume
to suppose' such a maxim is applicable to the holy supporters
'of the' -Establitlied Faith, in the terfris which these lawyers
"have chosen to'enthodY•the idea,.but the maxim may be con-
sidered for the present purpose as- establishing that if there were
no buyers there would be but little use in their future forays,
and; therefore; blithe spiritof Scottish Episeepalianism, it was
determined that at the= thumb-screw in ,the shape of confisca-
tion'did not break the spirit; and make the Dissenters bow the
'lineeto Baall—the` boot should be tried, that the person shbuld
be immured; and the double wedge of seventeen hours solitary,
imprisonment out 'ofevery twenty.:four should-break down the
vietirni-andAikeiClaverbouserandi his. herd who, showe4 no
mercy when they hunted the Covenanters—the warrant 'Oro-

ceeding from the " Court Christian," was indorsed " TAKE
NO BAIL."

Mr. Childs was selected because he had always been
the active and zealous distributor of cheap knowledge—he
had taught in his circle, and that not a narrow one, that
a black coat and sanctity were not identical—that Religion
and Priestcraft were different things ; that the Church of
Christ and the Church of Henry the Eighth were not one and
the same ; and he called on the people to remember that warn-
ing from authority—too high to be opposed, too pertinent not
to be felt by the Scribes and Pharisees of every age, which says,
" Do not ye after their works : for they say and do not ;
for they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay
them on men's shoulders, but they themselves will not move them
with one of their fingers, but all their works they do for to be
seen of men; they make broad their phylacteries and enlarge
the borders of their garments, and love the uppermost rooms at
feasts and the chief seats in the Synagogues, and greetings in
the markets, and to be called of Men, Rabbi, Rabbi."
It was needful that such a " pestilent fellow" should be con-
verted, or silenced ; conversion was hopeless—a prison might
quiet ; and Ipswich gaol received an inmate, to be treated as a
criminal, because he would' not resist the exaction. They
wist not that h e desired by theirown acts to shetv to the people
who they were that went about in sheep's clothing, but inwardly
were ravening wolves ; they were blind and could net see afar
off; and they have allowed him, to exhibit them in their true
colours ; they saw not that when he had done so, he would return
again to the flock, and convince them that-4' the hireling careth
not for the flock, because he is a hireling." They wist not that
they were investing him 'and others with an authority that
would make the image of iron-and clay to fall. They wist
not that they should enable him to show that the daughter of
the Old Lady of Babylon—l should perchance entitle myself
to a white sheet, if I used towards her the'vulgar term which
Established Divines' have applied to- their mothet, and there-
fore I say " Old Lady"--they wist not that they would
enable him and others to show that the daughter is as mere-
tricious as she affirmed her mother to be. Good wolves, you
will make the sheep as wise as serpents ; and in return they
hope, by drawing yo-ur teeth, to make you as harmless as
doves, and fit to enter the kingdom of heaven.
`As soon as the pack' had secured the victim in jail, and, as
they thought, had crushed' him, the Church- and State howl
was commenced, in the true spirit of the Established dicta.
And the following paragraph appeared in their local Tory
organ :
" REF U SA L' TO PAY CHURCH RATES. —On Wednesday morning,
Mr. Childs, of Bungay, was committed to the county gaol in this
town, at the suit of the Consistorial Court of Norwich, for refusing
to obey the injunction of, that Court, and is ordered to remain
there until he shall have made satisfaction for such contempt. The
cause of this proceeding was the refusal upon the part of Mr. Childs
to pay the church rates of the parish of St. Mary, Bungay. For
some time past there have been disputes in this parish regarding
the payment of the church rate ; and last year. the goods of Mr.
Morris were distrained on civil process, but having been offered for
public sale, and some indications of popular tumult appearing, they
were restored to him. The Act of Parliament under which this
distraint was made proving inoperative, the Churchwardens, Mr.
Samuel Scott and Mr. John Bobbit, entered a process in the
Ecclesiastical Court at Norwich, and Mr. Childs was cited to appear
before the Court to answer the complaint lodged against him. He,
however, refused to do so, and is now suffering the penalty of his
contumacy in the county gaol."
When this paragraph appeared, and the truckling slavish spirit
of the journal in which it was put forth was added to the in-
ternal evidence borne by the article itself, it was known di.
rectly from whom it came, as was the bitter and biting spirit of
the school from which it issued. The paragraph appeared in
a paper devoted to and supported by the Tory Parsons. The
iron-hearted Rathcormac spirit, which contemplates with
complacency a prison as the fitting reward for refusing volunta-
rily to submit to plunder, gave to view the steeple-chace school
of parsons, notorious in Suffolk and Norfolk, who have so re-
cently exhibited their love for religion, and their devotion to
their holy calling, by their patronage of break-neck galloping,
and the vulgar betting of vulgar squires. The lie that is
raised by the paragraph, though not in words expressed, exhi-
bited to the sufferers—to those who had been coerced and
plundered, and who knew the actors—the apostate dissenter
manifesting the concentrated essence of hostility to the faith
which once he professed. Who that read this paragraph would
not suppose that the goods had been restored by those who—to
use a Scotticism, had lffled them. " The goods were restored"—
yes, but not till after the receiver had repented—the wretched
things who first took the goods—and if the receiver may be
considered as good authority, like their fellows of the Old
Bailey class, lied to induce the receiver to purchase them.
They kept the price of the spoil, and yet, guided by their holy
and truth-loving teachers, they put forth a statement so worded
as that those who read it and believed, should believe a lie.
Verily when the spirit which has acted in and guided these
proceedings is considered, we in Bungay almost fancy we hear
the exclamation which has immortalized the cloth at Rathcor-
rnac—WlDOW RYAN, WILL YOU PAY ME NOW

Mr. Childs has nine children—she, poor creature, had but
three, and lost one "as the penalty for her contumacy." Mr.
Childs, as yet, has only suffered imprisonment. The Holy
Ministers of the self-denying Establishment have not yet vi-
sited Bungay with the bayonet at their heels, and the Gospel
in their pockets, to terrify the heretics by the one, and swear
them to submission upon the other—thus securing payment of
the imposition, or the damnation of the defaulters.

The Dissenters of England have too much unity of spirit to
permit these Reverend Gentry to travel, as they will, if not
stopped by steady, peaceable, passive resistance, with sol-
diers and carriage, to the hovels of the widow and the consci-
entious, to enforce the holy dues CO of these tender shepherds.
The further acts of these Apostles shall appear, and the re-
sults thereof. ZENAS.